Total Drama Alphabet
by Frank15
Summary: Twenty-six new contestants-one for each letter of the alphabet-are competing in the sequel to Total Drama Chris. Day 12 has ended: everyone's had their fun at Izzy's amusement park, but who's had enough? And who is the eleventh person voted out?
1. Day 1, Part 1: A is for Arrival

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Disclaimer**: _Total Drama Island _is not mine. A lot of the characters are not mine, and are owned by Teletoon and Cartoon Network. All of the contestants are mine, though, and some of the interns. Alyssa belongs to **Reading10**. Charlotte belongs to **musicaltheatregirl-dxc4eva**. Elli belongs to **Sparkling-nexis137**. Margo belongs to **Kelsica2**. And Rain belongs to **Realityshowfan**. Those five characters are used with permission.

**Warning**: The winner from _Total Drama Chris _is revealed here, as well as other things from that story. Reading that story is not required for enjoying this one, though there may be spoilers for that story in this one.

As well, some contestants may have… unsettling pasts, to put it nicely. There will be nothing close to explicit detail, but there's definitely abuse going on.

**Pairings**: Izzy and Ezekiel, Duncan and Courtney, Gwen and Trent, Geoff and Bridgette, Lindsay and Tyler, Eva and Cody, Heather and Harold, Katie and Noah, Sadie and DJ… Justin and Beth, maybe? As for the new characters… we'll just have to wait and see, I suppose!

**Note**: This takes place about a year after the original _Total Drama Island, _and two weeks after _Total Drama Chris. Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island,_ _Total Drama Action, Total Drama Celebrity Manhunt, _and _Total Drama World Tour _never occurred. Also, pictures of the new contestants, and interns, can be found on my profile, if you want a more concrete visual.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Day 1: Part 1: A is for Arrival**

Izzy was standing on a slightly nicer looking Dock of Shame, standing beside Bridgette, who was smiling for the camera.

"Are you ready, eh?" Ezekiel asked, from behind the camera.

"Yes-ooh, no!" Izzy shouted, putting her hands to her cheeks. "We still don't really know where Heather is, do we?"

"So, are we going to just stand here and wait?" Bridgette asked. "I think the contestants are coming soon."

Izzy sighed. "Correct as usual, Girl Friday. We'll just start now, I guess." Izzy gave a thumbs-up to Ezekiel. "Let 'er roll, Zeke!"

"OK, Miss Izzy," Ezekiel said. "And we're recording, eh."

"OK," Izzy said, composing herself, then taking out several sticks of dynamite, and throwing them into the air right before exploding, scaring Bridgette and Ezekiel half to death.

"What woos that, eh?" Ezekiel said, cowering under his hands.

"I wanted to start the season off with a bang! Explosivo likes the boom boom!" Izzy chuckled a bit, then pulled her eyelids inside out for the camera.

"And what's that for?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"No reason. I just wanted to do it," Izzy said, then let go of her eyelids. "Last season, on _Total Drama Chris, _Katie won a million dollars, and you've just been spoiled, so ha!"

"What was that for?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

Izzy shrugged. "They were going to find out, anyway. Why beat around the bush? She's a zillionaire!"

"Millionaire," Bridgette said.

"Oh, yeah, I'm the zillionaire!" Izzy exclaimed, dancing around a bit. "Anyway, last season, we had the same twenty-two contestants from the first season of _Total Drama Island _compete again. Lindsay got a brain, Heather got a heart, Katie found her courage, and Izzy found her home-here!" Izzy started caressing herself in glee.

"That's _The Wizard of Oz,_" Bridgette said, giggling.

"Applies here, too," Izzy said. "Justin turned mean, Leshawna turned mean, then nice again, and Gwen kind of did too, really. Lindsay made Courtney a little nicer and Tyler a little more athletic, Cody and Eva were going mwah mwah mwah," Izzy said, puckering to the camera, "and Izzy got a new boyfriend, who I know will never ever leave Izzy." Izzy glared deviously to Ezekiel. "Cause I'd find you!"

Bridgette shuddered. "That movie was disturbing."

"What movie?" Izzy asked, scratching her head, then shrugged. "Anyway, this season, we have twenty-five brand spankin' new contestants. That Izzy gets to spank if they misbehave, mwahaha! Anyway, there's a contestant for every letter of the alphabet."

"Except m," Bridgette said, rocking back and forth, with her hands in her pockets.

"No one likes m, it's unlucky," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Anyway, we've got plenty of quote-unquote educational challenges to teach all of those who mostly watch for Owen's fart jokes." Izzy made a gagging face.

"I'll win you back, Izzy!" Owen shouted from off-camera.

"No you won't!" Izzy yelled back, making her hands into a megaphone, then turned back to the camera, with her hands still megaphoned over her mouth. "We have twenty-five strangers, most of whom don't know each other at all, so we'll get plenty of drama, and hopefully, still some nice, sweet moments, too! And I won't try killing the contestants." Izzy tapped her chin. "Probably. Ooh, but we do have cool video game challenges too, so look forward to those! Izzy loves video games!"

"And Lindsay can kick your butt in them," Bridgette said, giggling.

"Only the cute video games," Izzy said smugly. "Turns out she's not nearly as good at the gory ones, which I really like. So I win, so ha!" Izzy smiled brightly for the camera again. "As it is, though, the twenty-five new contestants will be participating in, and we have your old favorites back to help me out as well, most noticeably right now, Bridgette!" Izzy glomped Bridgette, who looked shocked.

"Hi," Bridgette said meekly, waving to the camera, smiling uncomfortably, until Izzy let go.

"And of course, Ezekiel's behind the camera, so get in front of it so your one fan can see you!"

"One fan?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He's a big name fan, so it's OK," Izzy said, going over to grab Ezekiel over, forcing him to drop the camera. "Really, Izzy, Ezekiel and Bridgette all together might give that big name fan a nosebleed, and if nothing else, Izzy really loves watching people bleeding!"

"No one's shooting us, eh?" Ezekiel asked, as the camera was only shooting the contestants' feet.

"Well, we want to appeal to the foot fetish crowd out there!" Izzy exclaimed. "Actually, yeah, you should probably get back to the camera."

"Aye aye, Izzy!" Ezekiel exclaimed, as he rushed out of view, and picked the camera back up.

"So stay tuned for an exciting new season with all your old favorites, and hopefully a lot of new ones, coming up now, on the all-new, educational _Total Drama Alphabet!" _Izzy exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air, then smiled to Bridgette. "That's pretty fun, really. You should do it with me next time!"

"I'll see," Bridgette said.

* * *

Izzy was standing next to Bridgette on the nicer-looking Dock of Shame, smiling brightly. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Alphabet, _and welcome to the new island!"

"It's the same island, Izzy," Bridgette said.

"With improvements!" Izzy exclaimed. "Lots of improvements, which you will soon see." Izzy started rubbing her hands together eagerly. "But first, let's meet our first contestant, Rachel!"

A yacht stopped at the end of the Dock of Shame, and a pale girl with short red hair, white shirt, green jacket, green shorts, and green high-heeled gladiator sandals stepped onto the dock. "Hi, it's nice to be here." Rachel smirked, filing her nails. "I'm sure I'll have no real competition here, so you might as well start writing the check out to me now."

"How long do you think it takes to write out a check, anyway?" Bridgette asked, irritated, raising an eyebrow.

Rachel looked taken back. "I thought you would be nicer. You seemed pretty cool in the show."

"Oh," Bridgette said, confused. "Well… thanks, I guess."

Rachel pointed to Ezekiel, disgusted. "Him, less so, why is he even here? And why are you not killing him, Bridgette?"

"She's kind of scaring me, eh," Ezekiel said, worried.

"He apologized for the sexist comments," Bridgette said, smiling. "He's pretty cool, really."

Rachel glared at Ezekiel. "I do not trust him."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: You know, I actually like that Rachel likes me, but I don't really like her much. She just seems mean.

* * *

"And it looks like our second boat is coming!" Izzy exclaimed, as a second yacht docked, and let out a guy with neat black hair, a red vest and light yellow undershirt, green pants, and brown loafers, and holding an old-fashioned pipe. "Give it up for Alistair!"

Alistair looked around, irritatedly looking toward Rachel. "Why was that **thing **brought here before I was? I deserved to be first!"

Rachel rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course. Some grumpy dweeb over someone beautiful and nice like me."

"Nice?" Ezekiel asked, blinking.

Rachel glared at Ezekiel. "I am not liking him."

"I'm not liking him?" Alistair asked, irritated. "Just say you hate him. You are slightly above a redneck hick, at least."

"Slightly," Rachel said, disbelieving, tapping her arm with her finger.

"Lovely bunch so far," Bridgette said, sarcastic.

"It might get better with contestant number three, Candice!" Izzy exclaimed, as a third yacht dropped someone off. It was a tall girl with extremely long blonde hair, a bright green bikini top, jean shorts worn backwards, and pink flip flops.

"Her I like more," Alistair said, staring in awe.

"Totally gross," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"She's pretty nice, actually," Bridgette said. "She was on the show for a little bit last season."

"And you were awesome!" Candice exclaimed, running over to glomp Bridgette, catching her off guard. "I'm sorry you didn't win, but you almost won!"

"Thanks," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Yeah, I'm sorry you lost," Rachel said. "Stupid annoying girl had to win instead." Rachel shuddered.

"Could you not insult my friends, please?" Bridgette asked, annoyed.

"Fine," Rachel said, rolling her eyes again.

"Hello, I like you," Alistair said, staring at Candice's very large breasts.

"Thank you," Candice said, a bit uncomfortable.

"I'd probably be jealous about now if Alistair weren't so grody," Rachel said, making a gagging face.

Izzy smiled brightly. "Speaking of grody-I didn't know anyone still used that word-here comes our next contestant, Yancy!"

A guy with chin-length blond hair, a red plaid jacket, white undershirt, faded jeans, and black boots. "Hi," Yancy said. "I'm Yancy."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yeah, crazy girl already told us."

"Your eyes might stick that way if you keep doing that," Alistair said.

"Go jump off a pier!" Rachel yelled. "Like this one!"

"OK," Yancy said, then jumped into the lake.

"I didn't mean-urgh!" Rachel complained. "You're all idiots!"

"What did I do?" Candice asked, looking hurt.

"You wore that!" Rachel said, pointing to the bikini.

"It's comfy," Candice said, frowning.

"And why are your shorts on backwards?" Rachel yelled.

Candice blinked, then looked down at her shorts. "I didn't really notice." Rachel shuddered, and Bridgette rolled her eyes.

Izzy smiled as she pointed toward the fifth yacht. "Well, Rachel and Candice, you might like this next guy, coming off on the next boat, it's… Frederique." Izzy dreamily watched as a Hispanic guy wearing a blue muscle shirt, through which his abs showed quite nicely, and a pair of black shorts, and black Converse shoes.

"Well, hello there," Rachel said, smirking as she walked up to him, blinking her eyes seductively. "So… Frederique, was it? Nice name. Has a nice ring to it. Frrrederique. Rachel giggled. "Yeah, I'm not very good at rolling my r's, but it just kind of felt right, you know?"

Frederique scratched his head, confused. "I'm sorry?"

Rachel blinked in confusion. "Um, it's nice to meet you?"

Frederique smiled. "It's nice to meet you… you… what was your name?"

"Rachel," Rachel said, melting. "But you can call me Rachel."

"OK," Frederique said, confused.

Izzy started singing. "It's just a little crush, not like I-"

"If you value your life, you will discontinue this instant!" Rachel snapped, immediately turning toward Izzy, glaring at the crazy girl.

"Fussy, fussy," Izzy said, shaking her head.

"Can you let go?" Frederique asked, with Rachel holding on to his arm.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, blushing, letting go of Frederique's arm. "I… got a little carried away. Just… remember, Rachel B. Statler, my name!" Rachel blushed as she backed off a bit. Frederique scratched his head again in confusion.

Izzy yawned. "Well, don't look now, because you probably don't care, but here comes our next contestant, Zack!" A nervous looking guy with brown hair, a green beret, yellow shirt, jean jacket, and jeans and white tennis shoes stepped onto the dock.

"Another loser," Alistair said. "Why should I care about any of these people?"

"Some of us are quite superior to you," Rachel said, sticking her tongue out at Alistair.

"That was fun," Yancy said, climbing out of the lake, but grabbing onto Zack's leg, pulling them both back into the lake. "Oops," Yancy said.

"Well, that was fun," Izzy said, shrugging. "And now, time for lucky number seven, fan-favorite Nicole!" A tanned girl with wavy dark brunette hair, white shirt, black leather jacket, jeans, and black high-heeled boots stepped off the boat.

"She has an unfair advantage!" Rachel yelled. "Everyone got to know her and fall in love with her last season!"

"She's gay," Alistair said, irritated. "I'd say that's a pretty big disadvantage right there."

"Excuse me?" Bridgette asked, irritated.

"It's… OK," Nicole said, glaring at Alistair.

"Yeah, he'll lose quickly," Rachel said, smirking. "I'm a little more concerned about the whole 'unfair advantage' thing you're getting."

"I'm pretty sure I'm on a level playing field with my competition," Nicole said.

"Just remember that I'm not a lesbian, so please don't hit on me," Rachel said.

"No worries there," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

Izzy pointed toward another yacht, as an overweight guy with brown hair, wearing a baggy blue shirt with a '69' on it, and black slippers. And hopefully shorts under that baggy blue shirt. "Meet Walter!"

"I'd rather not," Rachel said, looking disgusted.

"Agreed," Nicole said, looking worried.

"Typical," Walter said, irritated. "Fat guy, so I'm obviously here to make fart jokes for the little kiddies at home. I'll have you know that I'm above just juvenile humor, and I'm able to hold any possible gas in, unlike certain other fat guys who give the rest of us a bad name, but of course, your simpleton minds wouldn't realize any of that."

Nicole shook her eyes. "Way to show us."

"Do you even use deodorant?" Rachel said, waving her hand in front of her nose.

"Of course," Walter said. "I'm fat, so obviously, I stink."

"Except you do stink, seriously," Nicole said, nervous.

"I can stereotype too, I'll have you know," Walter said. "Like you're a lesbian, so you obviously want all to kill all the men of the world."

"I'd start with you," Nicole said, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

"I won't turn you in," Rachel said, smirking.

"Would you get off of me?" Walter asked, as Izzy was climbing him, sniffing his armpit.

"Reminds me of Owen," Izzy said, wiping a tear from her eye. "But that's over now."

"I am nothing like Owen," Walter said.

Izzy smirked. "You're right, you smell even worse, but for now, let's greet our ninth contestant, Todd!" A very muscular guy with beady eyes and black hair, wearing a white muscle shirt, black shorts, and black tennis shoes leapt onto the dock.

"I'm here to win, and pulverize you losers!" Todd exclaimed, then started laughing maniacally, looking to the sky.

"You're kidding," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips. "You brought Dick Dastardly as a contestant?"

"I aspire to be more like him," Todd said, proudly pounding his chest.

"OK…" Rachel said, trailing off, circling her finger to her head.

"Dick Dastardly?" Alistair asked. "What are you, fifty years old?"

"Shut up!" Rachel snapped.

"You'd better not mess with me!" Todd shouted, and threw Zack back into the water, who was climbing back out, onto the dock. "'Cause I can do that!"

"Dumb muscle," Nicole said, raising an eyebrow. "Like Duncan, only without the brain."

"Watch it!" Todd shouted. "I can mess you up good!"

"I'm terrified," Nicole said, rolling her eyes, shaking her hands before her.

"Good, 'cause you should be!" Todd shouted.

"Glad you got to know Todd, 'cause next you get to know George!" Izzy exclaimed, as another yacht with a guy with very messy black hair, wearing sunglasses, a baggy white shirt, khaki pants, and white Velcro tennis shoes stopped at the dock, though George did not get off the boat.

"What, is this loser too chicken to get off the boat himself?" Rachel asked, rolling her eyes, then made her arms into chicken wings. "Bwak, bwakbwakbwak!"

"He's blind," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.

Rachel immediately turned bright red. "Sorry… George was it?"

"Yes," George said. "I just need a little help getting off."

"I'll help," Nicole said, rushing up to George, helping him onto the dock. "Unlike some people, I can help instead of making fun." Rachel stuck her tongue out at Nicole.

"I'll be fine once I get on solid ground," George said. "Just going from the boat to the dock, a little difficult." George whipped out a white cane. "Super cane to save the day, ha ha!"

"Dork," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"He's blind," Candice said. "That ain't very nice to say to a blind guy."

"Blind guys can't be dorks now?" Rachel asked, rolling her eyes again. "Please."

Alistair sighed. "Your eyes will stick-"

"You said that already!" Rachel shouted, throwing her hands into the air. "God! Why did I come here?"

"Fame and fortune," Alistair said.

Rachel stroked her chin. "Good point."

"Well, the next person's going to be able to see you all," Izzy said, smiling bright. "I hope you all love Leanne!"

"Sounds hot," Walter said, smirking. "I like her."

"Bet Nicole likes her more," Rachel said, smirking. Nicole shook her head.

"I wouldn't bet on it," Izzy said, grinning, as a short guy with red hair, a blue business suit, and fancy black shoes stepped off the boat.

"Is that a dude?" Walter asked, pointing.

"Yes…" Leanne said, trailing off, seething a bit.

"And your name is Leanne," Alistair said, smirking.

"Lee," Leanne said. "You shall call me 'Lee.'"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That attitude of yours is sure going to want to make me want to cater to your whims."

"If you value your life, you shall obey me!" Leanne shouted.

Rachel giggled, then smirked. "Punish me! I deserve it!" Rachel started laughing louder.

"Why don't we just call him Lee?" Candice asked, confused, putting a finger to her chin.

"Why don't you dress appropriately, little miss slut?" Leanne asked, irritated.

"Great first impression," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't like him much, either," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You don't like anyone," Nicole said, smirking.

"I have lots of friends back home, I'll have you know!" Rachel proclaimed.

"I'm really not a slut anymore," Candice said, nervous.

"Of course you aren't," Alistair said patronizingly.

"So glad to see everyone getting along," Izzy said, smiling bright. "We're like a big happy family, so let's make it even bigger and happier! Let's meet Isis!" A twelfth yacht arrived, and stepping onto the dock was a tall African Canadian girl, with braided black hair, bright blue eyes, a bright pink tank top with a bright blue heart on it, and bright pink and blue mini-skirt, black leggings, and bright pink and blue wedge heels.

"Hi!" Isis sang, waving to everyone. "This is going to be so much fun!" Isis started hugging herself, swaying.

"It'll be fun tolerating you, I can tell," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait… what?" Isis asked, confused. "Why? I'm nice, and stuff."

"And annoying," Rachel said.

Isis wiped a tear from her eye, then smiled and walked over to Rachel. "It's OK, no hard feelings." Isis' smile turned to a glare almost immediately as she punched Rachel off the dock, and into the lake. Isis then smiled innocently. "Oops. I'm sorry. Guess I'm a little clumsy."

"OK, if I don't win this season, I hope you do," Nicole said, grinning.

Isis rushed over to glomp Nicole. "Oh thank you, BFF!"

"BFF?" Nicole asked, confused.

"Best female friend," Isis said.

"Um… OK," Nicole said, a bit uncomfortable.

Izzy wiped a tear from her eye. "So sweet! Almost as sweet as our next contestant, Katrina!" The next yacht dropped off a pale girl covered in freckles with long, unruly dark blonde hair with a white headband, a blue denim shirt, a black skirt, and tall white boots.

"Hello," Katrina said, waving to everyone, with an enormous smile on her face. "It's very nice to meet you all. I look forward to making as many friends as I'm able, and maybe even win the million dollars!"

"Making friends," Rachel said, pulling herself out of the lake, back onto the Dock of Shame, dripping wet. "Exactly why we're here, of course."

"Oh, my," Katrina said, walking over to help pull Rachel onto the dock. "What happened? Do you need some help drying off?"

"Thank you," Rachel said, looking a bit worried. "Your smile is kind of creepy."

"I'm sorry," Katrina said. "I'm just kind of excited, being on TV, trying to win a million dollars, making new friends-"

Rachel smirked. "You're not so bad."

"Rachel didn't immediately dislike someone?" Nicole asked, feigning shock. "It's the end of the world!"

"Statistically, it was bound to happen," Walter said.

"Don't listen to them," Katrina said, smiling as big as before. "Someone's always going to try to pull you down. Just don't let them." Rachel blew a raspberry to everyone else.

"You can never have too much sweet," Izzy said, smiling bright, "so let's make things even sweeter! Here comes the most perfect person in the world-at least according to her-Danielle!" A girl skinny as a stick, even by _Total Drama _standards, stepped off the next yacht, with almost-white luxurious blonde hair, a perfect, beaming sunflower in her hair, royal purple eyes, a perfect little mole by her perfect little mouth, a nose so tiny to be barely visible, an exquisite yellow tank top with beautiful breasts way too large for the rest of her body, though perfect on her, a ridiculously short olive green skirt, and dark green high heels.

"Hi, everyone!" Danielle exclaimed, holding her hands together excitedly. "I have arrived, so you may all start basking in my presence."

"Basking in your presence?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow. "You have got to be kidding me." Rachel's eyes shot wide open as she noticed Alistair, Walter, and George bowing before her.

"We're not worthy," the three guys said.

"Wow," Nicole said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yeah," Isis said dreamily. "I wish I could be that awesome."

"I thought George was blind," Rachel stated flatly.

"I can sense her perfection," George said, still bowing.

Danielle smiled innocently. "It's OK, guys. I give you permission to do other trivial things." Danielle made a shooing motion with her hand. Rachel slapped her face in frustration.

"I don't get it," Bridgette said, with her hands in her pockets. I just don't get it."

"She's really pretty, eh," Ezekiel explained. "So beautiful, and perfect, and-"

"If you want to live, you'll stop talking Zekey," Izzy said, glaring at Ezekiel, who gulped. "Now then, we've all met and loved Danielle, so now let's meet and love Bob!" A fat guy with a 5 o'clock shadow and brown hair covering his eyes stepped off the next yacht, wearing an orange shirt with 'front' written on it, upside-down, dark khaki shorts with an upside down 'R' and 'L' on each leg, and white tennis shoes.

"Hi, I'm Bob!" Bob exclaimed, waving to everyone.

"Hi, Bob," Danielle said, seductively scratching underneath his chin. "I'm Danielle."

Bob stared blankly for a few moments before continuing. "Hi, I'm Bob!"

"Yes, you are," Danielle said, and blew a kiss as she walked off. Bob blushed a bit.

"This will be fun," Rachel said, rolling her eyes, then turned to Katrina. "Still, I guess it's nice to have **one **other sane person here."

"I try," Katrina said, rubbing her boot along the dock.

"If Katrina's the other sane person, who's the first, darling," Alistair said, smirking.

"Just drop dead already," Rachel said, irritated.

"I think they're the new Duncan and Courtney," Izzy said, grinning toward Rachel's and Alistair's way.

"Gross!" Rachel shouted, reeling back.

"As if I would actually have anything to do with that peasant," Alistair said, irritatedly pointing his pipe toward Rachel.

"Well, maybe the next contestant can make things more happy fun times!" Izzy exclaimed, as the sixteenth contestant stepped off the next yacht. It was an extremely pale girl with short, dark brunette hair, wearing a dark green tank top, brown skirt, and black heels. "Meet Jennie!"

"You!" Jennie shouted, storming over to Bridgette, pointing an accused finger at her. "What is your problem?"

"Excuse me?" Bridgette asked, annoyed.

"Your whole 'caring about the environment' thing," Jennie said, using finger quotes.

"What's wrong with caring about the environment, exactly?" Bridgette said, getting more annoyed.

"The problem is that you **don't **care!" Jennie shouted, poking Bridgette's chest.

"You don't poke me," Bridgette said, grabbing Jennie's hand, seething.

"Leave Bridgette alone!" Candice yelled, pushing Jennie down. "Bridgette is an incredible girl, who's extremely nice, and cares about everyone, and wants to help our planet!" Candice sighed. "I kinda' wish I could give up meat."

"Thank you," Bridgette said, smiling, then was glomped by Candice.

"You're so perfect!" Candice exclaimed, leaving Bridgette smiling a bit uncomfortably.

"This isn't over!" Jennie yelled as she picked herself off the floor.

"Here comes Quincy!" Izzy exclaimed, as an African Canadian guy stepped onto the dock, with black hair, wearing glasses, a blue shirt, khaki pants, and brown loafers.

"Hi," Quincy said, then stepped over to the side.

"Hi!" Isis exclaimed, bouncing over to Quincy. "I'm Isis!" Isis glomped Quincy, who looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Hi?" Quincy quietly asked.

"Everyone get ready, for her she comes, here's Veronica!" Izzy exclaimed, applauding at the next yacht let off an overweight girl with short black hair and a detailed rose tattoo on her left arm, and wore glasses, a black shirt, jean shorts, and black flip flops.

"Hi, guys," Veronica said, not particularly enthusiastic.

"You're on TV, playing for a million dollars, you should be excited!" Rachel shouted.

"Because everyone who isn't exactly like you is wrong, of course," Alistair stated, smirking.

"She looks nice," Katrina said. "Maybe we should say hi!"

"No, we really shouldn't," Rachel said. "Trust me, she has 'loser' written all over."

"Yeah, might as well pretend I can't hear you," Veronica said, sighing. "That's what everyone back home does too. I'm used to it."

"You're not so bad," Nicole said, patting Veronica on the shoulder. "You seem pretty nice to me. I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character."

"Thank you, but I know you don't really find me attractive," Veronica said, looking down.

"I… I wasn't trying to hit on you," Nicole said, a bit nervous.

"Good to know I'm not good enough," Veronica said, then sighed again.

"It's not that… I mean… urgh!" Nicole said in frustration, holding her head.

"Maybe you were right," Katrina nervously said to Rachel.

"I always am," Rachel said, admiring the back of her hand.

"And I'm sure you'll be happy to know, and she'll be happy to know, that our next contestant is Ophelia!" Izzy exclaimed. The next person off the nineteenth yacht was a Japanese girl with black hair with two long bangs in the front, with the ends dyed red, and a ponytail in the back, with the end dyed red, a skull tattoo on her arm, a smiley face tattoo on her hip, and wore a button-up black shirt, a black skirt, black leggings, and tied black heels. Ophelia didn't step off the yacht so much as bolt off, though.

Ophelia immediately clung to Danielle. "Oh my God, you're so pretty and perfect, and I want your hair, and can I have the flower, thank you!" Ophelia took the sunflower out of Danielle's hair and put it in her own.

"Could I have that back, please," Danielle asked, irritated.

"Heh, sorry," Ophelia said, trying to put the sunflower back in Danielle's hair.

"I can put it back in myself, please," Danielle complained.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so… excited!" Ophelia leapt into Nicole's arms, knocking them both to the ground. "So you're the famous Nicole, made famous from _Total Drama Izzy _last season, and it's an honor to meet a celebrity such as yourself!"

"Could you get off, please?" Nicole asked, irritated.

"I'm sorry, but I've never been on TV before, and I'm just so…"

"Excited?" Katrina asked, still with her huge smile.

"No, no, don't say anything!" Rachel nervously shouted.

"Yes!" Ophelia exclaimed, bounding over to Katrina and Rachel, squeezing them to her breasts. "Excited! And I'm glad you two are going to be my good friends here, oh yes I am!"

"This is why I wasn't going to snark her," Rachel said, irritated.

"Sorry," Katrina said. "I'm having a little trouble breathing, Ophelia. Could you let go?"

"Heh… sorry again," Ophelia said, looking nervous. "I'll try to calm down, I promise," Ophelia said, raising her right hand. I'll try to-eek! What's that?" Ophelia rushed over to knock Zack, climbing back onto the dock from the lake, back into the water. Ophelia then showed off her muscles. "Here I came to save the day, so hooray for me!"

"That was one of the contestants, genius," Alistair said.

"This… is naughty," Ophelia said, shaking her head as she leapt over to Alistair, taking away his pipe.

"That's mine," Alistair said, irritated.

"And it's going to kill you, and second-hand kill me, and I'm too full of life to let you second-hand kill me, so nuh-uh! Bye-bye!" Ophelia tossed the pipe into the lake-right at Yancy's head, who fell right back into the lake.

"That pipe cost me six thousand dollars!" Alistair yelled.

"Suddenly, I feel very broke-six thousand dollars?" Rachel yelled. "Why are you even competing?"

"That's not a big chunk of change for me either, exactly," Katrina said, looking slightly guilty. "That's kind of pocket change."

"Wait," Rachel said, trying to figure things out, "why are you here, anyway?"

"Hoping to get famous and make friends… I don't really have many friends back home," Katrina said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Can't imagine why no one would like Mrs. Stepford," Alistair said.

"See?" Ophelia yelled. "That pipe made you mean, and say mean things!"

"No, the **lack **of pipe made me say it!" Alistair shouted.

"But the pipe turned you into the… do you even have eyebrows?" Ophelia asked, tracing along where Alistair's eyebrows should've been.

"Go away!" Alistair shouted, holding his head in his hands.

"Don't worry, Ophelia, I feel your pain," Izzy said, nodding, eyes closed. "Alistair's a bit of a poopie-head." Izzy put back on her big smile. "But now, let's meet our next contestant!" A guy with brown hair, wearing a maroon shirt, blue shorts, and black flip flops stepped off the next yacht. "Meet Hank!"

"Hi, everyone!" Hank exclaimed, waving.

"Hi, Hank," Nicole replied, smiling.

"You're pretty hot," Hank said, grinning.

"Thanks, but I'm kind of into girls," Nicole said, biting her lip uncomfortably.

"Cool, cool, that's cool," Hank said. "Not the first time I've been given that line."

"I… really do like girls," Nicole said, a bit irritated.

"That's what she said!" Walter shouted.

"That didn't make any sense," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"I thought it was kind of funny," Hank said, shrugging.

"I can tell he's a real winner," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Perfect for you, at least" Alistair said, smirking. Rachel shuddered.

"It's time to meet one of the all-time military greats, Ulysses!" Izzy exclaimed, applauding.

"Didn't Grant die over a hundred years ago?" Katrina asked.

"Different Ulysses," Bridgette answered, as a short guy wearing an army helmet, light blue button shirt, green pants, and black army boots stepped off the next yacht.

"Fall in, troops!" Ulysses yelled.

"Us?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow. "We're not your troops."

"**That **is insubordination, missy!" Ulysses yelled, poking Nicole in the chest.

Nicole grabbed his finger, and started bending it back. "**That **is called how to get a broken finger."

Ulysses backed away, holding his finger in pain. "As you were."

"Loser, loser, loser!" Rachel shouted. "That's nineteen losers by my count!"

"That's a little harsh," Katrina said, a bit nervous.

Rachel shook her head. "You're nice and all, but a little naïve. Trust me, these are all people you do not want to get close and personal with."

"But I want to get close and personal with you!" Ophelia exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere behind Rachel, glomping her.

Rachel screamed. "**Get off of me!**" Rachel pushed Ophelia down.

"Sorry, but you were just there, and… just looked so tempting!" Ophelia exclaimed, clawing the air in Rachel's direction.

"Go bug Nicole, or something," Rachel said. "She likes that." Nicole glared at Rachel, who was smiling innocently as Ophelia rushed over to glomp Nicole.

"I really love all of these new friends everyone's making!" Izzy exclaimed. "And here comes another new friend, I hope, Stephanie!" A dark African Canadian girl with her black hair put into a long ponytail, wearing a light yellow women's suit, a purple undershirt, and red heels.

"Hello, competition," Stephanie said, smirking, making a fist. "I'm here to crush you all to the ground and defeat you all, and have fun!" Stephanie smiled, though everyone else looked confused. At least, until-

"Stephanie!" Isis exclaimed, rushing up to Stephanie, glomping her. "It's so nice to meet you!"

"I can't say the same," Stephanie said, gagging. "Need oxygen."

"Sorry about that," Isis said, letting go, with Stephanie looking frazzled. "You just look so… friendly."

Stephanie dusted off her suit. "I'd like to think I am, but please, personal space is necessary."

"OK," Isis said, looking down as she stepped away, but then smiled brightly again. "Ooh, I had the cutest idea!" Isis walked over to Quincy, looking worried, dragging him over to Stephanie, looking irritated, though Isis herself excitedly put her hands together. "You two would make such a cute couple!"

"I have no idea who he even is," Stephanie stated. "Besides, I don't have time for a boyfriend. I need to remain focused."

"He's Quincy," Isis said, confused. "Well, he's here in case you change your mind."

"No," Stephanie said, rubbing her forehead, then walked over to Nicole. "You, I'm hoping we are allowed on the same team."

"Thank you," Nicole said, blushing.

"I wonder if she knows Nicole's a lesbian," Rachel said. "If Stephanie's going to be that stupid-"

"I'd watch," Alistair said, smirking.

"You're sick," Rachel said, motioning putting her finger in her mouth.

"It's not contagious, you know," Katrina said, raising an eyebrow.

"I've read my share of fan fiction," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "You'd be surprised how many stories seem to make it contagious."

"You read fan fiction now?" Alistair asked, smirking.

"Go away!" Rachel yelled, stomping her foot. "Urgh!"

"Well, enough from our lovebirds over there, here's Percy!" Izzy exclaimed.

"We are not lovebirds!" Rachel yelled.

"Sure you're not," Izzy said, grinning.

A guy with blond hair reaching down to the bottom of his head stepped off the next yacht, wearing a purple tank top, shorts, and sandals. "Hello, ladies," Percy said, grinning. "Reow!"

"Gag me," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"She'll come around," Percy said, smirking, giving Rachel a thumbs up, as he walked over to Danielle. "Hello, most beautiful girl here."

"Thank you, but you're a little creepy," Danielle said, nervously backing away.

"She'll come around," Percy said.

"Is that like your catchphrase?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You're pretty hot stuff yourself," Percy said, smirking. Nicole rolled her eyes.

"You're pretty hot stuff, too!" Ophelia exclaimed, jumping on Percy's head, causing him to wobble around the dock.

"What are-get off me!" Percy yelled.

"Whee!" Ophelia exclaimed, riding Percy as a thrill ride. "Faster! Faster! Ooh, this looks like the ride where we get wet!"

"What are you-argh!" Percy screamed as he tripped over the side of the deck, knocking Zack, who was finally climbing out again, back in, as well as landing himself and Ophelia into the water.

"Again!" Ophelia exclaimed, clapping.

"Not again, not ever again!" Percy shouted, dizzy.

"Maybe Ophelia's not so bad after all?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow to Rachel.

"I really hope, for your sake, she didn't hear you say that," Rachel said, nervous, as Ophelia climbed out of the water, helping Percy out as well.

"Can I get a hand?" Yancy asked, reaching upward.

"Eww, sea monster!" Ophelia yelled, stomping her foot on Yancy's hand, who fell back into the lake.

"That was Yancy, one of the contestants," Alistair said, smirking.

"Oops… sorry, Yancy," Ophelia said, looking guilty.

"You did him a favor, trust us," Alistair said.

"I feel better than, Mr. Eyebrowless!" Ophelia exclaimed.

"Stop calling me that!" Alistair snapped.

"Don't touch that dial, 'cause I'm sure everyone's excited to meet Xuxa!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Wait… didn't we already have an S-named contestant?" Katrina asked, counting on her fingers.

"It's X," Rachel said. "You know, like the Brazilian kids' show host?"

"Yeah," Walter said. "Duh, as Rachel might say."

"I wouldn't have said that," Rachel said, contorting her face in frustration.

"The twenty-fourth yacht dropped off an overweight girl with bright blue eyes and blonde hair in pigtails, and wore a red tank top that was a bit too small, a short white skirt with red stripes, and pink Converse shoes.

"Hi!" Xuxa exclaimed. "Yes, I know, you all love me, but I can only choose one, and it's him!" Xuxa rushed up to Frederique, glomping him. "You can be mine!"

"Thank you," Frederique said, shrugging.

"Oh, I know we'll get along!" Xuxa exclaimed, still clinging on to Frederique. "I'm like super nice, and I'll do anything to make you happy, my love."

"Could you let go?" Frederique asked, nervous.

"If that would make you happy, my love," Xuxa said, letting go, chuckling a bit.

"I like you!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Xuxa. "You seem nice and happy and fun and whee!"

"I am, I promise!" Xuxa exclaimed, and the two squeed together.

"Just what we needed," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "Katie and Sadie, part two. Complete with the hot one and the not one."

"Which one is which?" Katrina asked, scratching her head, confused.

"The… the fat one, Xuxa. Not the hot one," Rachel said.

"I'm not that overweight!" Xuxa yelled, irritated. "And I'm not deaf either, you know!"

"Oh, I can change that!" Ophelia exclaimed, then screamed right in Xuxa's ear. "Is that better?"

"Why did you do that?" Xuxa yelled, rubbing her ear in pain.

"I thought you wanted to go deaf… I'm sorry if it didn't work."

"It didn't, thankfully, and please don't try again." Xuxa sighed, then smiled. "I forgive you, though! I can't stay mad!"

"Aww, thanksies!" Ophelia exclaimed, as the two squeed again.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Seriously, it's like a horrible game of tic tac toe."

"I don't get it?" Katrina asked, confused again.

"You know, Xs and Os, X for Xuxa, O for… you know, it was a bad joke."

"Just like every other one you've told," Alistair said, smirking.

"Enough out of you!" Rachel yelled, kicking Alistair in the shin, causing him to hold his leg in pain. Rachel then turned to Katrina. "What? He's been having that coming for a while now."

"You like him," Katrina said, smirking.

"I do not!" Rachel yelled, stomping her foot. "I like the sexy Frederique, I'll admit, but-"

"Frederique is **mine!**" Xuxa shouted, sounding almost demonic, glaring death at Rachel, who flinched.

"Yes, yes, all yours," Rachel said, wiping her forehead. "For now," she whispered to herself, rubbing her hands together.

"That's rather stereotypical villainy," Katrina said.

"I'm not the villain, though," Rachel said, looking guilty. "I'm nice…or I try to be."

"How many people have you insulted today, exactly?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow.

Rachel defiantly crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not great at it, OK?"

Katrina had her huge smile again, patting Rachel's shoulder. "You'll get there."

"Thanks," Rachel said, smiling back, then started counting on her fingers. "There's one more contestant, right?"

"Correct," Izzy said, excited, jumping up and down in place. "And I've really been super excited to finally meet her in person!" A short tanned girl with very short pink hair and a heart tattoo on her left arm was wearing bright blue lipstick, piercings everywhere, a spiked collar, white tank top, ripped faded baggy jeans, and black boots.

"Elizabeth Cox?" Nicole asked, nervous. "You seriously brought her here?"

"Oh, yes!" Izzy exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. "She sounded really cool, and we still needed an e-named contestant, and well, here she is!" Izzy glomped Elizabeth, taking her by surprise. "Welcome to the island!"

"Please let go," Elizabeth said, irritated.

"Sorry, but I'm just so super excited to meet you!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Elizabeth Cox!" Ophelia exclaimed, leaping over to glomp Elizabeth, who promptly pushed her off to the dock. "Wow, you're even cooler in person!"

"Lovely," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes. "So, nicer atmosphere than prison. Worse food, or so I heard." Elizabeth glared at Ophelia. "And the people here are apparently more insane."

"Not all of us!" Rachel exclaimed, walking over. "Hi, Rachel B. Statler. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

"No," Elizabeth said flatly.

"Well, you will soon, I assure you! I'm going to be famous!" Rachel spread her hand out in front of her, moving it through the air slowly. "I am going to become a household name!"

"Please go away," Elizabeth said, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

"Sure, right," Rachel said nervously, going back over to Katrina.

"Are you nuts?" Katrina asked, worried, grabbing Rachel's shoulders. "You do know who that is, right? Seen her on TV a good bit, and all?"

"If you mean the railroad victim, then yes, I know who she is," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

Katrina blinked in confusion. "You really think so?"

"Positive," Rachel said. "Really bugs me, watching those ridiculously biased stories against her on TV. Kind of sick of it."

"You've got me curious now," Katrina said, smirking. "Do go on."

"Well, everyone's here!" Izzy exclaimed excitedly. "It's time to show you guys around! Follow the leader! And that's me!" Izzy started crab walking to the main island, and Bridgette, Ezekiel, and the twenty-five contestants followed behind. Izzy stopped shortly, though, looking disappointed in everyone else. "Um, when you play follow the leader, you're supposed to walk the same way that the leader walks, you guys know."

"But it's hard to film when I'm walking like that, eh," Ezekiel said, confused.

Izzy shook her head. "This part's boring. You don't need to film us walking to our destination, so don't worry about it and crab walk with me!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: This is the nice and spacious confessional for this season. Pretty clean, too. As you can see, we have a Coca-Cola machine-I'm sorry for selling out, but I wanted to do something nice for you guys, 'cause unlike Chris, I like my peeps! Oh, and there's another machine for candy and chips. You'll each get a card that you can use twice a day in here: once for the soda machine, and once for the candy and chips machine, which, I'm sorry, means you have to choose sweet or salty for the day. (Izzy started tapping her chin.) Oh, and this is also the confessional, where you can confess your deepest, darkest secrets, mwahahaha! Of course, you all know by now that these things tend to get out, so use at your own risk! (Izzy shifts her eyes around the room) Mwahahaha!

Lindsay: (guzzling down a Grapetastic soda, then putting it down, and wiping her mouth) I can't tell you how happy I am that Izzy got Grapetastic soda! I'm been missing this stuff all the time I was on the island recently. (Izzy beams for the camera.) You're the nicest host ever!

Rachel: So I like Katrina, I really like Frederique… (Rachel swoons.) and I like Elizabeth, even though I don't think she really trusts me, and truthfully, I don't blame her. I wouldn't trust me either if I were in her spot… or if I were Katrina or Frederique, for that matter, but I swear, I'm not that mean. (Rachel taps her chin.) Sometimes. (Rachel smiles innocently.)

Walter: Pepsi is far superior to Coke, and it shall be war that Izzy would force us to consume what it the equivalent to the food Chef served in the first two seasons, and I, for one, will not put up with such an insult! (Walter picks up a Coke bottle and starts guzzling it, spilling a fair bit on his shirt.)

Bob: Hi, I'm Bob!

Elizabeth: (looking around, drinking water) It's all right here. Beats prison, for sure. Not sure about any of these people, though. I mean, I'm sure some of them are nice, but frankly, I'm a little less trusting than I'd like to be.

Ophelia: (bouncing wildly around the room, holding a Jolt Cola) **CAFFEINE!**

* * *

Izzy, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and the twenty-five contestants were at the bonfire area, though the eleven tree stumps were replaced with ten fairly comfortable-looking outdoor chairs. "This," Izzy stated dramatically, "is the place you will never wish to see after today. For this place means that your team has lost. The losing team will meet here and vote off one of their own in a hopefully dramatic, yet also lighthearted elimination ceremony!"

"Lighthearted," Stephanie said, crossing her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow.

"Well… a little, I hope," Izzy said, smiling. "I'm Izzy! I'm all about fun! Even got some nice chairs instead of those uncomfortable stumps for you guys! See? I'm the fun host!"

"I never really thought of this place as fun, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging.

Izzy rubbed Ezekiel's tuque. "You're so cute when you're all naïve and stuff." Izzy gave Ezekiel a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Must we bear witness to that?" Alistair asked, irritated.

"Yes," Izzy said. "That's part of the challenge! Watching me and Zekey make out!" Izzy grabbed Ezekiel close and started kissing him passionately.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: (looking guilty, twiddling her fingers) I… kind of feel bad now, thinking how much Geoff and I did that in front of everyone. We probably should've found somewhere a bit more private.

Rachel: You and your big mouth, Alistair. (Rachel motions gagging with her finger for the camera.)

Ophelia: That looked like so much fun, Izzy and Ezekiel were having! Ooh, I wonder if they'd let me join in the fun too! Eeeiii!

* * *

Izzy, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and the twenty-five contestants were standing in front of four buildings. Or, more precisely, three buildings and a shack.

"This will be your housing for this season," Izzy announced. "Turns out contractors will really speed up the building process if you have money. So to the very left, you'll see a really nice building with a '1' on it. That building is for the winning team that week. The winners have eight individual bedrooms, eight individual bathrooms, and even a game room!"

"That's where you'll find me, ladies," Hank said, winking to the other contestants, though not getting any reaction. "Oh, come on! What do I have to do?"

"Try being not creepy, for one," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, come on, seriously!" Hank shouted, exasperated, throwing his arms to the air.

Izzy coughed. "Thank you. Anyway, to the right of that is a fairly nice looking building with a '2' on it. That will be for the second place team to stay."

"Second place team," Katrina said, tapping her chin. "So that means there're three teams this season?"

"Exactly!" Izzy exclaimed, and pointed to a run-down building with a '3' on it. "That building is lodging for the third place finishers, or losers, if you will. And aside from having to stay in there, one of those people will be voted off, losing the game. Izzy will get to that later, though."

"Izzy will get-why are you speaking in the third person?" Alistair asked.

"To bug you," Izzy said, glaring at Alistair. "Now, before I was interrupted, I was going to explain the tiny little shack with the '9' on it."

"Why nine?" Stephanie asked. "Wouldn't four make more logical sense?"

"Because Trent kept bugging me until I agreed to mark it with a nine, but that's not important," Izzy said, shaking her head frantically. "That's the punishment room. It doesn't really matter whether you're a winner or loser, but you may be subject to the punishment room under certain circumstances which will be explained later. But worry not, for despite having no windows, it is air-conditioned, and there is a bathroom inside, but-"

"Coming through!" Owen shouted, shoving past everyone to get inside the '9' shack.

"Well, that's Owen's… personal bathroom, shall I say," Izzy said, grinning. "He agreed not to dirty up all of the other nice bathrooms if he always had access to this one particular bathroom. Which I assure you that you will not want to use."

"Then we won't," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "We'll just use one of the communal bathrooms if we get quote-unquote 'punished," Rachel said, using finger quotes.

"Won't be that easy, toots," Duncan said, walking out from behind the shack, holding a large wooden stick. "You see, when you're punished, it's my job to make sure you **stay** punished, and that means you don't get out until breakfast."

"You guys know Duncan, right?" Izzy asked, smiling. "Duncan, contestants, contestants, Duncan."

"I love you, Duncan!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Duncan, leaving him looking freaked out.

"What are you doing?" Courtney yelled, rushing out from behind the shack, pulling Xuxa off of Duncan. "He's **mine!**"

"She'd probably make the more effective guard here," Walter said.

"I have better things to do than babysit you people," Courtney said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Like make out?" Duncan asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Duncan!" Courtney shouted, then started whispering. "Not in front of the ontestantscay."

"Why not?" Duncan asked, shrugging. "They might like a nice show!"

"Duncan!" Courtney yelled, then dragged Duncan by his ear back behind the shack.

"Ow, yes ma'am!" Duncan exclaimed, excited.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: What the hell is her problem, Miss 'I Was a CIT'? What, I'm good enough for Duncan! I'm like the perfect girl! How could Duncan not want me?

Danielle: (filing her nails) Xuxa was an idiot, granted, but these things take patience. All I need to do is get rid of Little Miss Jerkass Sue, and Duncan will surely fall for me, because, let's face it, I'm the perfect girl, and I deserve the best guy here, and… well… that's Duncan. (Danielle blushes and smiles innocently.)

Hank: (crossing his arms over his chest) I don't get what's so great about Duncan. "Ooh, I'm bad, rawr." (Hank shakes his head.) Come on, he's just a cliché bad boy! I don't get why any girl would want someone like that.

* * *

Izzy and the others had walked a little ways away, to encounter another large, nice building. "This, my friends, is where we're keeping the interns. They will help me out with challenges and whatnot-especially the whatnot-and will hopefully keep everything running smoothly here. And if you have a problem, they're probably the right people to bug, and not me!" Izzy opened the door, and saw seven girls

"All of them are lame girls," Todd said. "Why would you get an all-girl team of losers to help-"

"Watch it!" one of them shouted. She was a tall African Canadian girl with green eyes and braided hair, and wore a white muscle shirt, black sweatpants, and dirty white tennis shoes.

"That one's Rain," Izzy said, looking around. "She's feisty, that one!"

"I want to know your names!" Rain yelled angrily, pounding her fists together as she approached the contestants. "Which one of your names start with r?"

"My friend, Rachel," Katrina said, with a huge smile as usual. "She's got an r-name."

"No, no, I'm… um… Becky!" Rachel said, nervously backing up.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (with a black eye and bruised all over) OK, that was stupid, forgetting that Becky is short for Rebecca.

Katrina: (tearing up) I kind of messed up back there. I didn't realize Rain wanted to kill her. (Katrina sighs.)

Rachel: OK, seriously, how big an idiot is Katrina? Did she see the girl? Of course she was going to pulverize whatever unfortunate soul had the r-name! Seriously, I desperately need to find better friends here. Ones who aren't actively trying to get me killed! (Rachel breathes in and out deeply.)

Katrina: (wiping a tear from her eye) I'm sorry, Rachel. I was a little spaced out, I guess.

* * *

"I think she's had enough," Katrina said, looking nervously upon Rain pummeling Rachel on the ground.

"After what you did to me, you're lucky I'm not going hard on you!" Rain yelled.

"This isn't hard?" Rachel shouted, scared.

"Shut the hell up!" Rain yelled, and punched her again, while Katrina flinched behind her.

"Rain, I think you could stand a bit of relaxation," Izzy said, as she nervously took out a tranquilizer gun from her skirt, and shot Rain with it, knocking her out quickly. "I promise, she can be pretty nice sometimes."

"What did she have against Rachel?" Katrina asked, worried.

Izzy sighed. "Rain was supposed to be on the first season, but Eva took her place. Then she was supposed to be on this season, but she was sick, so we got substitute r-name Rachel to take her place, and she's… a little ticked off about it, I see."

"I was only a substitute?" Rachel asked, as Katrina helped her up from the ground.

"The producers thought you were a Heather clone, and didn't really want another." Izzy shrugged.

"But I'm nice," Rachel said, then glared at Katrina, who looked guilty. "But you stay far, far, **far **away from me! I'd rather not get killed because of you, thank you very much!" Rachel moved to the opposite end of the room.

"I'm sorry," Katrina said, looking miserable.

"That's cold," Nicole said, shaking her head.

"What?" Rachel said, defensive. "I just don't want to die today! Is that so wrong?"

"Not wrong at all!" another girl said. She had bright orange hair and purple eyes and was wearing a purple top, black pants, and purple slip-on shoes.

"That one's Margo," Izzy said.

"I wouldn't want to get killed either, and I agree! We should all make a promise not to kill other people here!" Margo proclaimed, then screamed, shivering and pointing at Elizabeth. "She's that killer!"

"She's one of the contestants," Izzy said. "She won't hurt anyone. I don't think."

"That's all the assurance I need," Alistair said, rolling his eyes.

A girl with freckles and rosy cheeks, and brunette hair tied in a ponytail walked up to the contestants, with pencil and paper in hand, wearing a white shirt, jean jacket, brown pants, and orange tennis shoes. "Hi, I'm Alyssa, and I'll be studying you guys, and this show. I really enjoy writing, and I hope to write a great story about this show, and Izzy thought it would be a great way to promote the show, to boot! If I'm lucky, my story might even go national!"

"One step at a time," Izzy said. "We'll try to get there. Anyway, Elli, please come up!"

A girl with shoulder-length auburn hair walked up to the group, wearing a hat with an ace of spades in it, a black shirt with a purple circle on it, a black skirt, and black flats. "Actually, my name is Eliza, but Izzy really likes calling me Elli, anyway."

"Watch her, she's a bit of a card shark," Izzy said, grinning.

"It's card sharp, actually," Elli said.

Izzy shook her head. "No, shark. I mean, they always play that _Jaws _music when you're around!" Izzy took out a small radio and pressed a button, and the _Jaws _theme played for a few seconds before Izzy turned it back off. "See?" Elli rolled her eyes. "Anyway, Charlotte, come on up here!"

A girl with freckles and brown hair with natural highlights wearing a black sundress with floral designs, a black leather jacket, black tights and brown cowboy boots walked up to the contestants, and started singing. "Hello my name is Charlotte, and I am not a harlot, so please don't let your war let blood staining stuff with scarlet!" Charlotte bowed.

"That was pretty nice, really," Rachel said, smiling.

"Thank you," Charlotte said, bowing again, then returning to her seat, as another girl came up. She was a very tanned girl with bright blue eyes and blonde hair put in a ponytail, and was wearing a bright pink one-sleeved shirt, jean shorts, and blue Converse shoes.

"Hi guys!" the girl exclaimed. "I'm Alexis!"

"She was that nice girl in the McDonald's challenge, who Chris wanted to be mean, and she was pretty bad at it," Izzy said.

"I think I still upset Lindsay, though," Alexis said, looking down, twiddling her fingers. "I really, really want to apologize for that.

"I'll find her for you in a little bit," Izzy said, smiling. "And last, but certainly not least, I'm sure you all remember our last intern!" A lady with short brown hair and a blonde skunk streak in the middle and wearing a blue flight attendant's uniform walked up to the contestants.

"I'm Zoe," the lady said. "A little older than the rest of you guys, but I promise to be fun, and let these guys have fun, though we've still got some work to do, too, like setting up the finish line for the first challenge."

"I'm still writing, though," Alyssa said. "Can't I finish this one little part?"

"How long?" Zoe asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Five… ten… thirty minutes?" Alyssa asked, hopeful. Zoe shook her head. Alyssa shrugged. "Worth a try, anyway."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alexis: I'm sorry Lindsay, in case you're watching!

Alyssa: My first mission: find out more about Rain. What makes her tick? What's this whole story about Rachel taking her place? (Alyssa puts on a fedora) It looks like it's my job to get to the bottom of this!

Margo: Was that one girl really just wearing a bikini? (Margo blushes) Hehe!

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette were followed by Ezekiel, holding the camera, and the twenty-five contestants into the dining area. It was bigger than before, though, with several nice tables and fairly comfortable chairs. "Welcome to the dining room!" Izzy exclaimed, excited. "Please, sit where you please!"

"Whatever Chef's making, I won't eat it," Jennie said, crossing her arms over her chest as she sat down.

"Heh," Izzy let out. "About that-"

"Hi!" Sadie exclaimed, coming out from the kitchen, carrying several plates. "We have soup for you guys to start today!" Sadie looked at her tray of bowls, and tried to find a specific one to put in front of Jennie. "Specially made banana soup, just for you!"

"No meat in this?" Jennie said, dipping her spoon into the bowl, inspecting the contents.

"Nope!" Sadie exclaimed, smiling bright.

"No vegetables? No gluten? No-"

"Just bananas, avocado, and apricot," Sadie said, placing a bowl of chicken soup before Rachel.

Jennie took a small taste of the soup, swished it around her mouth for a bit, swallowed, then smiled. "That was really nice. Thank you."

Sadie blushed, placing a bowl of soup before Todd. "Don't thank me," Sadie said, "thank-" Sadie had dropped her tray of soups as a bowl of soup was thrown at her, hitting her.

"Ha ha," Todd laughed, smirking. "What, aren't you going to eat it, you pig? You look like one, so you must eat like one, ha ha!"

Sadie started tearing up, and tried to hold back, but rushed into the kitchen.

"That really wasn't nice," Bridgette said, rubbing her forehead.

"And what are **you **going to do about it?" Todd teased, smirking, though fear entered his face as he was lifted by his shirt.

"You **will not **do that again," DJ threatened, looking menacingly into Todd's eyes while holding him by the shirt. "You **will **be sorry if you even **think **about doing that again." DJ dropped Todd, then smiled, and nervously waved to everyone. "Sorry about that, guys."

"Meet the new cook, DJ!" Izzy exclaimed, motioning over to DJ, who looked embarrassed.

"Everyone like it?" DJ asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Really good," Rachel said.

"Is there more?" Xuxa asked, finishing her bowl.

"Well, that was just the starter," DJ said. "I've got some sandwiches coming out."

"I didn't get my soup yet," Katrina said, propping her head up on the table with her hands. "I don't suppose you've got any more."

"Sorry," DJ said, looking guilty. "That was… I'll try to make it up."

"I didn't get any either, so make more!" Danielle demanded, irritated.

DJ gulped. "It actually takes several hours to make it just-"

"Just do it!" Danielle demanded, pounding her fist on the table. DJ sighed, then went back into the kitchen.

"You can have my soup," Walter said. "This soup is terrible. There isn't enough salt, there's too much paprika, the chicken to broth ratio is right out-"

"If you prefer, I can go get Chef Hatchet to whip you up some grub," Izzy said, glaring at Walter. "And knowing Chef, it's likely to be literal grub."

"And besides, fat guy germs," Danielle said, shuddering. "Do not want! Do not want!"

Walter poked at his soup with his spoon. "I suppose this is edible."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: It was just as well. I don't like soup much, but I would've liked to have tried it, anyway. The sandwich was to die for, though!

Danielle: I don't get why DJ didn't make more soup. Back home, guys are usually willing to move the earth for me! (Danielle smiles cutely for the camera.)

Walter: If I were paying for such a lousy soup, I'd demand a refund. And considering how sub-par DJ's sandwich was, I should get a refund anyway. It was that bad."

Ulysses: The food was delicious. (Ulysses sighs.) Nothing like the Army. I was really looking forward to Chef Hatchet's cooking, too.

Jennie: (sighing, rubbing her arm nervously) I don't mean to complain so much, but hardly anyone respects that I'm different and care about things more than everyone else. But really, thank you, DJ! Thank you for not forgetting about me!

* * *

Izzy, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and the contestants were standing by the just-constructed finish line, waiting for the interns to clear out, minus Rain.

"You owe me ten dollars," Elli said, smirking to Alyssa, who had her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm only fourteen! That's like not right!" Alyssa said, pulling out ten dollars to give to Elli.

Elli smiled, then gave it back. "That one was a freebie. Just wanted to know you'd keep your word."

"You are mean," Alyssa said, sticking out her tongue, as she, Elli, and the other interns headed back for their room.

Izzy shook her head, then turned to the contestants. "First of all, I have great news: no one will be eliminated today!"

"Then I'm out of here," Walter said, starting to walk away.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Izzy taunted. "I mean, not unless you want to spend the night in the Nine Shack." Walter paused, then turned back, grumbling. "I'm glad you saw things my way. Anyway, what we need to do now is pick out teams!"

Rachel immediately glomped Frederique. "Can he be on my team?"

"No, me!" Xuxa shouted, glomping Frederique's other side.

"Lucky me," Frederique said, looking defeated.

"It doesn't quite work that way," Izzy said, shaking her head. "See, I don't really feel like I know you guys well enough to try to pick which personalities would go best with which other personalities, so you guys are going to pick your own teams!"

"I pick Frederique still!" Rachel exclaimed, still glomping him.

"I picked him first!" Xuxa shouted.

"You totally did not," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"That's not how you pick your own teams," Izzy said, then picked up a question mark block. "You guys have played _Super Mario Bros., _right?"

"Who hasn't?" Rachel asked, rolling her eyes again. "Seriously, what kind of a question is that?"

"Well, each box has a mystery prize inside!" Izzy exclaimed. "Each box has one of three medallions inside, which will represent your team. But you are not allowed to open your box until you cross the finish line, which would be difficult anyway, since I have the only key to open the boxes. After all twenty-four contestants cross the finish line with their boxes, we will open the boxes, and discover which team you will all be a part of this season!"

"This is totally ripping off this _Total Drama Eek! the Cat" _Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, I know, where did you think I stole the idea from?" Izzy asked, smirking.

"But there're twenty-five of us, genius," Alistair said. "You said there were only twenty-four boxes, though."

Izzy feigned shock. "My oh my, that hadn't occurred to me! I guess someone's guaranteed to be spending the night in the Nine Shack!" Izzy grinned deviously. "So you'd better hurry and go!"

"So, we have to cross the finish line with one of the question mark blocks, right?" Stephanie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Correct," Izzy said.

Stephanie shrugged, then took the question block from Izzy, and hurried across the finish line before Izzy could stop her. "Guess I win then! And **that's **how you win!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (admiring her hand) It really does help being a super genius, such as moi. Able to think the easy way to play these challenges.

Isis: (sniffling) I was really hoping to team up with Stephanie to do this, too. She's just too smart for me, I guess.

Rachel: I can't tell you how stupid I feel for not thinking of that myself. (Rachel shakes her head.)

* * *

"On your marks, get set, go!" Izzy exclaimed.

"We should totally work together!" Katrina exclaimed, smiling brightly to Rachel, who looked disgusted.

"So you can throw me to the bear or the Sasquatchanakwa?" Rachel asked, tapping her chin. "No, I don't think so!" Rachel stormed away by herself.

"I'm sorry," Katrina said, looking down.

"I'll go with you," Xuxa said, smiling bright. "And we can show that meanie who's boss!"

"Why would I want to do that?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She was just kind of mean to me. And you," Xuxa said. "You seem nice enough, though. Let's win this thing!"

"Well, I like the attitude! Let's do this!" Katrina exclaimed as the two went off together.

* * *

"Come, my minion," Todd said to Hank.

"Minion?" Hank asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. I will need help. To cheat!" Todd exclaimed, proudly pounding his chest.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to find a chest?" Hank asked, confused. "And why am I your minion?"

Todd sighed. "I can get you the girl of your choice."

"Good enough!" Hank exclaimed.

* * *

"You OK?" Nicole asked to Veronica.

"Not really," Veronica said, shrugging. "Just kind of here. What's the point of going to look for a box, anyway? I'm sure I'd be the person not to get one. That's just how life goes for me."

Nicole sighed. "You're pretty, really."

"You're just saying that," Veronica said, looking down.

"No, I'm not, I mean it," Nicole said, patting Veronica's back. "I mean, you're no Bridgette, but-"

"I figured I wasn't that pretty," Veronica said, sighing.

"Look, I'm really trying to reach out here, but you really need to meet me half way," Nicole said. "It'll be fun, you and me, searching for our boxes… look, if we only find one box, I'll let you have it, OK?"

Veronica smiled slightly. "If we only find one box, I don't deserve it. But if we find two, I guess I could take one."

"Good enough," Nicole said, smiling.

* * *

Whew, that was a long one! But then, introducing twenty-five brand-new contestants, and seven interns… takes a bit of time. Hope this was a good start here!


	2. Day 1, Part 2: Hammer Time

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 2: Day 1: Part 2: Hammer Time**

Izzy was sticking her finger up her nose, with Bridgette looking disgusted, both standing at the finish line. "That's kind of gross," Bridgette said, sticking out her tongue.

Izzy grinned. "Well, I figured I should probably pick up on some of Ezekiel's habits. Learn the way of the Zeke, and all." Izzy rushed over to grab Ezekiel, forcing him to drop the camera again, shooting the trio's feet. "I mean, after all, I wouldn't want to make my Zeke upset. He might turn into a demonic red-eyed shadow demon if I did that!"

Bridgette chuckled a bit. "I really don't think that's very likely."

"But I had this dream that Cody saw my Zeke, but he was all demonic and stuff," Izzy quickly said.

"Why are you picking my nose, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Don't worry," Izzy said. "The camera's just shooting our feet, so it's not like anyone's going to see it… though Izzy does find it rather kinky that you wanted to tell all the viewers about it anyway."

"Whoot?" Ezekiel said, worried, as he hurried back over to the camera, picking it back up, shooting Izzy and Bridgette.

"We can always edit that out," Bridgette said, looking uneasy.

Izzy waved her hand dismissively. "I think it'll make for a really cool, awkward moment! I'll bet the next morning, people will be talking about it all around their water coolers, and it'll be like "ooh, water cooler, we should keep some goldfish in there, 'cause that would look totally awesome!' and then some mean tattletale is going to cry 'wah, wah, there's fish poop in my water,' and it's like they won't even care about how cool the pretty fishy is!" Bridgette stood there and stared, blinking, as Izzy took out a paper cone-shaped cup of water. "Want a drink?":

Bridgette raised a finger. "Where did that-"

"You'd probably be happier not knowing that answer," Izzy said, shrugging, then drinking the water, and tossing the cup into the lake.

"Did you really have to throw that into the lake?" Bridgette asked, irritated.

"Good point," Izzy said, then dove into the lake, and retrieved the cup, then leapt back onto the dock. "I'll save that for when Jennie's watching."

"You don't like her, I take it," Bridgette said, then shrugged. "I didn't like her much either, but why even invite her to the show if you didn't like her?"

"When everyone gets along, the host may resort to trying to kill the contestants to create drama," Izzy said, sounding serious. "Let's not forget what Chris did last season. So we get some contestants to stir up drama, put in some that everyone's supposed to like, and the show practically writes itself, without needing to resort to trying to kill anyone."

"That's fair, I guess," Bridgette said, crossing her arms over her chest. "But I wouldn't mind Jennie being the first one voted off."

"That could always be arranged," Izzy said, grinning.

"No rigging the votes, Izzy," Bridgette stated.

"Yeah," Izzy said, looking innocent. "I know the possible legal mess, but Izzy is allowed to call her a mean name."

"Like Chris did to Katie?" Bridgette asked.

"It's more like defending your honor," Izzy said, pounding her chest. "You know, I bet Duncan gets nervous when I do that!" Izzy looked a few feet away over to Stephanie, looking busy with paperwork. "So who do you like anyway? Izzy's dying to know your first impressions!" Stephanie ignored Izzy, and continued doing her thing. "**Stephanie!**" Izzy screamed in Stephanie's ear, causing her to leap into the air, messing up her papers.

"**What was that for?**" Stephanie yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"You were ignoring me, and it really isn't nice to ignore the host, and all," Izzy said, smiling bright.

"You weren't talking to me, and frankly, I didn't want to get into a discussion about how friendly or diabolical this Jennie person is," Stephanie said, irritated, dusting off her clothes. "She seemed nice when Sadie gave her the specially made soup, so I harbor no ill against her, and quite frankly, it sounded petty. Oh, and thank you for involving me in this." Stephanie rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Seriously, it's like Izzy was trying to stir up drama, or something. Though really, Isis is getting on my nerves pretty quickly.

* * *

"Aha!" Todd exclaimed, rushing over to a box hanging from a tree. "A mystery box!"

"So, I guess you don't really have to try to cheat to get one then," Hank said, following behind.

"Nonsense," Todd said. "What fun is playing the game if not to cheat? This will make for delicious bait, my boy."

"Bait that you could lose," Hank said, confused.

"That's part of the risk, well worth takin," Todd said. "You'll understand one day."

"I really don't think I will," Hank replied.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Hank: I didn't really understand Todd's "strategy" there. I mean, he had a box. What was the point of sticking around, anyway?

* * *

"It's really nice of you guys to help me find one of the boxes," Candice said, with Alistair and Walter drooling close behind. "It's nice to make some friends here."

"I'm just here for the show," Walter said. "It's a good show."

Alistair smacked Walter. "What he means is, of course, that it's always nice to help such a lovely lady as yourself."

"I wouldn't really call myself a lady," Candice said, tapping her chin as she jumped over a log in the path. "Thank you, though."

"No, thank you," Alistair said, smirking as he had a little more trouble getting over the log.

"OK, now how exactly do you expect me to get over this?" Walter asked, looking at the log.

"You climb over it," Alistair said, rolling his eyes.

Candice looked back, confused. "It ain't that hard, really."

"I don't suppose you could carry me over the log?" Walter asked, smirking.

"Uh, I don't think so," Candice said dismissively. "I ain't a bodybuilder, ya' know." Candice pointed over to the end of the log. "Why not just go around it?"

"That's a long way to walk," Walter said, irritated.

"It's about twenty feet," Alistair said, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, you got this far into the forest how?"

"I was motivated," Walter said. "A big, green, bouncy motivation."

"Lovely how full of crass you are," Alistair said, rolling his eyes as he took out another pipe and lighter, lighting it up.

"I thought the psychotic girl got rid of that," Walter said.

"I had several backups, fortunately," Alistair said, taking a puff.

"That's totally gross," Walter said. "Second hand smoke will be the death of me."

Alistair poked Walter's gut. "Yes, I can just tell that you're a health nut."

"I'd really prefer you not smoke that around me," Candice said, sweating. "Please!"

Alistair looked confused, then put out his pipe. "I suppose I could do it for you."

"Thank you," Candice said, smiling bright. "It means a lot to me."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: Alistair's kinda' grumpy sometimes, but he be pretty nice deep down.

Alistair: (smoking his pipe) That white trash thinks she can tell **me **what to do? Does she know who I am? Still, if I want to get in her pants, or what little she has of pants, it's in my best interests to play nice. (Alistair shudders.) Really hate playing nice. And seriously, Walter, you're a fat, lazy, disgusting slob, and your only hope is that other fat, lazy, disgusting slob, Xuxa. (Alistair chuckles to himself.) Actually, even Walter probably deserves someone better than that horrible creature.

* * *

"Oh, I hope we get to be on the same team!" Xuxa exclaimed, circling Katrina as she walked along. "I mean, I'd like to be on a team with six boys to choose from, but it'd be nice to have a girlfriend to talk to, I mean."

"Could you calm down, please," Katrina said, trying to sound as nice as possible. "You're a little… I'm not sure how to say it nicely… hyper, and it's difficult to hear myself think."

"I'm sorry," Xuxa said, looking guilty.

"Don't be," Katrina said, continuing along. "You're just excited, and making conversation, and I'm more used to quiet. You're really nice, and-"

"Thank you!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Katrina, then wiped a tear from her eye. "No one ever calls me nice, for some reason, even though I'm always so nice to everyone."

"Their loss," Katrina said. "I mean, you're a little over-excited, but I fail to see why anyone would dislike you for it."

"I'm too good for them," Xuxa said, waving her hand dismissively.

"That is a good attitude to have," Katrina said, with a huge smile on her face. "You know, I wonder how Rachel-"

"Don't mention her!" Xuxa yelled, nervous. "I mean, she's a bully, and she's trying to steal my Frederique!" Xuxa scratched her head. "Wasn't she mean to you, anyway?"

Katrina rubbed her boot against the ground. "I was mean to her first, so I can't really blame her too much."

"That was just an accident, though," Xuxa said, with her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes.

"I should've realized what Rain wanted to do, though," Katrina said. "It seems so obvious in hindsight."

"I didn't know," Xuxa said, then smirked. "Though I probably would've told Rain myself if I did." Xuxa grew a nervous look on her face. "You're not going to try to steal Frederique away too, I hope not!"

"Don't worry," Katrina said. "My two best friends here like him, and I'm not going to try to get between you two and mess things up there. I would rather not take sides between you and Rachel, though."

"I'm OK with that," Xuxa said, smiling bright, swaying seductively back and forth. "Besides, with this nice a bod, I know he'll pick me!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I wish I could be so secure about my own weight. I mean, Xuxa is pretty, and she weighs more than I do. (Katrina sighs, and rests her head in her hands, propped up on her knees.) Why do I feel so fat?

* * *

"Why did you kill that squirrel?" Leanne asked, reeling back along with Ulysses and Zack from watching Yancy stuff a now-dead squirrel into one of his pockets.

"Supper, Leanne" Yancy said.

"Lee!" Leanne yelled. "Call me Lee!"

"You wouldn't talk to a commanding officer like that, soldier!" Ulysses yelled back. "You treat a superior officer with respect!"

"He's not a superior officer, he's a nitwit!" Leanne yelled.

"Found a box, Leanne," Yancy said, handing over a question-mark box to Leanne. "You sounded angry, so I figured you might want one of these to make you happier.""Thanks," Leanne said, grumbling as he accepted the box.

"You don't respond to a commanding officer with a mere 'thanks,' soldier!" Ulysses yelled.

"I am not a soldier!" Leanne yelled back.

"Found another box with one of those squiggly things on it," Yancy called out. "Guess Ulysses gets this one."

"Good job, soldier," Ulysses said, saluting Yancy as he brought him a question block.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ulysses: Good job, General Yancy, on ensuring your teammates victory in battle! (Ulysses salutes the camera.)

Yancy: (standing in front of the Coca-Cola machine) Could I have one of your fizzy drinks, please? (Yancy stands there for several seconds.) I guess you're not in the mood right now. That's OK, I guess.

* * *

Rachel was walking through the forest, when she found a question block, sitting on a pile of leaves, which caught her eye. Rachel looked around suspiciously, and picked up a large stick on the ground, then leaned over, avoiding the pile of leaves, to slowly push the box closer to her, so she could reach and pick it up without having to step onto the leaves. Rachel picked up the box, and blew a raspberry behind her. "I'm not that stupid, Izzy!" Rachel then ran off, carrying her box.

"Inconceivable!" Todd shouted, poking his head out from a nearby bush. "How could she have known it was a trap?"

"She was probably expecting it to be a trap," Hank said, shrugging. "It kind of was."

"But she was supposed to step on the leaves and fall to her doom!" Todd shouted. "Or at least hurt herself." Todd smirked as he pulled out a second question block. "Fortunately, I found a spare, just in case."

"Maybe you should just keep that one," Hank said, confused.

"Nonsense, my boy," Todd said, as he carefully placed the second question box onto the leaf pile. "This time it will surely work!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (rolling her eyes) Seriously, the old "put a bunch of leaves over a hole to trick someone into falling in" trick is one of the oldest tricks in the book. I've heard stories that a lot of people last season fell for it, too, so I knew I'd better look out for it. Rachel B. Statler does not go down that easily!

* * *

"And of course, I was picked last," Veronica said, as she and Nicole were walking through the forest, with Nicole's eye twitching occasionally. "They even picked a stray cat over me."

"That's… nice," Nicole said, giving a fake smile.

"Everyone else says it's nice, so it probably is," Veronica said. "There was also the time when we played dodge ball-"

"And you were the target, yes, I've figured out how this goes," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "If you want to make friends, you should probably stop trying to push people away."

"My existence pushes people away," Veronica said, shrugging. "I'm used to it."

"That's not what I meant," Nicole said. "If you want friends, maybe you should stop the whole 'woe is me' act."

"It's not an act," Veronica said. "You think it is, though, and I probably should've expected that."

"Act, not an act, I don't really care," Nicole said, irritated. "I was trying to be nice, to reach out, since you seemed lonely, but all you keep doing is driving me nuts, and I can't take it much longer!"

Veronica sighed. "It's just like-"

"No, no, no!" Nicole shouted. "Stop that! Happier thoughts! Let's talk about something happier! Like, I don't know, what's your favorite color?"

"Black," Veronica said. "I don't deserve-"

"No, no, let's not expand on that," Nicole said, slapping her own face. "I know, candy! Candy tastes good, doesn't it?"

"It's part of the reason I'm so fat," Veronica said, shrugging again. "It's OK if you don't like me, really. No one else does."

"I don't don't like you," Nicole said. "I just wish you could stop talking about being miserable. There has to be something you like."

"Prepare for trouble!" a voice shouted from the trees. Eva leapt down from a tree, wearing a turtle costume, holding hammers.

"And make it double," another voice shouted. Cody, wearing a turtle costume as well, fell from one of the trees.

"You can beat me up," Veronica said, looking at Eva. "I probably deserve it."

"We're here to impede your progress," Eva stated. "No one shall pass."

"Right," Cody said, picking himself from off the ground. "We've got plastic hammers, and we're not afraid to use them."

"You weren't supposed to say that," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "Either way, I can throw these babies pretty hard."

"I probably deserve real hammers, but I suppose this will do," Veronica said, as Nicole rushed off, dragging Veronica behind.

"No, you don't deserve getting hit with real hammers, or plastic ones, so just run!" Nicole shouted.

Cody turned to Eva. "I think I would've felt bad hitting her with these."

"Just had to suck all of the fun out of it," Eva said, though she was soon hit on the head by a hammer herself. Nearby, though, someone else was watching.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Sierra: (crossing her arms over her chest, pouting) What's so great about Eva, anyway? She's a bully! I could treat him so much better than she ever could. Don't you worry, Cody, I'll rescue you from that she-hulk!

Izzy: (blinking) Who is this nut, again?

* * *

"You're so pretty," Bob said, drooling as he was following Danielle, along with George and Percy.

"You have an amazing voice," George said.

"You're right, I do," Danielle said, smiling proudly, as she followed Frederique. "So, Frederique… what sort of things do you like? Perfection? I can do perfection!"

"Perfection's OK, I guess," Frederique said. "Math is pretty cool."

Danielle made a gagging face, then put back on a smile. "I love math! I'm really good at it, too. Cosines and integrals and matrices… big fan of all that stuff."

"I like _The Matrix, _too," Frederique said. "Nice movie, except for all of those memes."

Danielle blinked in confusion. "I was talking about-I mean, yes, the movie, of course," Danielle said, smiling nervously. "I especially like how Neon is one."

"Neon?" Frederique asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, totally my favorite part," Danielle said, admiring her hand. "Matrices, look out, 'cause Neon is going to stop you from… matricizing, I suppose." Danielle giggled, as Frederique rolled his eyes.

"Anyone else have any clue what she's talking about?" George asked, scratching his head.

"Bob has no clue," Bob said, shaking his head quickly.

"Shut up!" Danielle grumbled, glaring at Bob and George, then turning her attention back to Frederique, rubbing underneath his chin. "So, Frederique-lovely name, by the way-have your eye on any of the girls here?"

"Not really," Frederique said, shrugging. "Kind of just got here. Don't really know anyone yet."

"Well, you could still find someone," Danielle said, smiling bright. "That oh-so-perfect girl is around, I bet."

"You can say that again," Percy said, wiggling his eyebrows, appearing right behind Danielle, startling her.

"Don't do that, you jerk!" Danielle yelled.

Percy grinned as she passed, then turned to Bob and George. "She wants me."

"No, she doesn't," George said.

"Well, she doesn't want you either, so nya!" Percy said, sticking out his tongue.

"So nya?" George asked. "You're kidding, right?

"Guys, I've found my mystery block!" Danielle exclaimed, pointing to the question box on the pile of leaves. "Could one of you brave, handsome men retrieve it for me?" Danielle batted her eyes toward the guys.

"Just tell me the way!" George exclaimed.

"It's a secret!" Percy shouted, as he rushed over to collect the box. And immediately, he and the pile of leaves and sticks collapsed into a fairly deep hole below, and he screamed.

"Such an idiot," Danielle said, shaking her head as she covered it with her hand.

"Don't worry, Bob can get it!" Bob exclaimed as he leapt down the hole, crushing Percy, who screamed in pain. "Oh… that wasn't good."

Danielle casually looked down the hole. "Can you throw up the box?" she called down.

"Yes!" Bob exclaimed, throwing the box upward pretty hard, almost hitting Danielle's face, though she caught it first.

"Careful!" Danielle yelled. "You almost ruined my perfect face."

"Sorry," Bob said.

"Can you help us out?" Percy asked.

"I don't have time for that," Danielle said, nervous. "I need to get to the finish line with this, make sure I don't lose and all. Good luck getting out, though!" Danielle looked annoyed as she looked away from the hole. "OK, where'd Frederique go?"

"Looking for a box, I think," George said.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Danielle yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"I don't think he likes you," George said.

"Of course he does!" Danielle shouted, getting more irritated. "He just doesn't know it yet, but he will! Oh, he will!" Danielle started rubbing her hands together.

"I think you forgot the maniacal laughter," George said.

"Oh, shut up!" Danielle yelled, as she stormed off. George happily followed.

"It worked!" Todd exclaimed, from a short distance away. "I knew my evil plan would work!"

"But they got the box," Hank pointed out. "We lost the box."

"But that's not the point," Todd proclaimed, looking smug. "Those two idiots are trapped in that hole, which was the whole point! I am the awesomest villain here, and no one better mess with me!"

"I still don't get what you accomplished, though," Hank said, scratching his head. "How did that help you win?"

"My boy, it's not all about winning," Todd said. "In fact, it's better to concentrate on other people losing. Less selfish to think of others, after all."

"O… K…" Hank trailed off, thoroughly confused.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Seriously, someone as perfect as I deserves someone equally perfect, and that's… not really Frederique, what with being a complete imbecile with math, but let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I? (Danielle points to herself, smiling innocently.)

George: Sure, Danielle's a little bit self-centered, but she sounds like she's beautiful. Probably just need to get to know her a little better. Probably just a shell she builds around herself in fear that she's not as great as she claims to be.

* * *

"You and Stephanie would be totally cute together!" Isis exclaimed, bouncing along as Quincy walked forth.

"Do you even know who I am?" Quincy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Quincy, of course!" Isis exclaimed, playing with Quincy's cheeks. "Seriously, you two would be so cute!"

"I don't even know her," Quincy said.

"Well, really, your only choices are me and Stephanie, and it'd be totally selfish to force you to choose me, and Stephanie seems so nice, so you can have her!" Isis exclaimed, beaming. "Well, I guess there is that intern, but between you and me, she scares me a little. Probably really nice once you get to know her, though."

"There are other people too, you know," Quincy said.

Isis put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, but they're not good enough for you. You deserve better than that. But really, I'd say go for Stephanie!"

"Maybe you're right," Quincy said, "but I'd like to keep an open mind."

"I guess that works," Isis said, nervously rubbing her shoe against the ground. "Everyone else is a little bit mean." Isis started tapping her chin. "Well, maybe not Nicole. I'm not sure what she is, really. Or Elizabeth, really, but she killed someone, so I'd stay away from her, still."

"Nicole's a lesbian," Quincy said. "I'm pretty sure she's out."

"Oh, yeah," Isis said, snapping her fingers. "Kind of forgot about that. Good point, though. Bet she could still be a good friend, though!"

"You don't like white people much, do you?" Quincy asked.

"Not really," Isis said, looking down. "They just… they're not nice." Isis sighed. "I just think you need to be careful if you want to date one of them, OK? Please?" Isis looked pleadingly to Quincy.

"Yes, yes, I'll be careful," Quincy said. "I really don't think they're out to get us, though."

"Maybe not on purpose," Isis said, shaking her head.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: I worry about Quincy a bit. He's just so… well, naïve. I sort of wish I could be like him, and more trusting, and all. But then, you think they're you're friends, and they turn stab you in the back, though! (Isis shudders.) I'm sorry, you guys. I know some of you are probably really nice. It's just…. (Isis sighs.)

* * *

"Hi!" Ophelia exclaimed, leaping on Elizabeth's back, who was searching for boxes. "Lookie what I found!" Ophelia exclaimed, waving the box in front of Elizabeth's face.

"Great," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

Ophelia beamed as she leapt off Elizabeth's back, landing in front of her. "I know, with this box, I am assured not to spend the night in the punishment shack, but you don't have one, nya nya nya!"

"You noticed," Elizabeth said, getting a bit irritated.

"Yeah, and I know that must really really really really suck, but you seem really lonely, and I thought to myself 'hey, Ophelia-yeah, I talk to myself in the third person, and I don't really know why-you should see that murderer chick, she seems all lonely and stuff, but that's probably because everyone afraid of her, since she might've murdered someone, but I don't really know, but hey, I bet she could use a friend, so here I am!" Ophelia glomped Elizabeth, who looked shocked.

"Could you not touch me?" Elizabeth asked, glaring at Ophelia.

"Sure, I can not touch you," Ophelia said, letting go. "We can have happy fun times that involve no touching whatsoever, Ophelia promises!" Ophelia raised her right hand and put her left over her heart.

"Could you stop talking?" Elizabeth asked, glaring harder.

"Sheesh, well aren't you a grumpy Gus," Ophelia said, putting her hands on her hips. "Seriously, where's your sense of fun? You're out, free, not in prison, you should be living life, since you'll probably be back there soon for the rest of your life!"

"Gee, thanks for reminding me of that," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

"Sheesh, no wonder no one likes you with that attitude," Ophelia said, rolling her eyes. "But I'm willing to give you another chance if you just start being nice and friendly and happy!"

"Go away!" Elizabeth shouted, shaking.

"Are you cold?" Ophelia asked, confused. "I can get you a blanket if you need one, ooh, and that reminds me of this time when we didn't have any blankets, and I had to create a makeshift one out of cardboard and-"

"**Go away!**" Elizabeth yelled, furious.

"Touchy," Ophelia said, rolling her eyes. "Well if you're going to be like that, maybe you deserve to be in prison for the rest of your life! Oh, and I was going to give you my box, thinking it would be nice, but now, nuh-uh, not doing it!" Ophelia blew a raspberry, then skipped off. Elizabeth's eye started to twitch, then she collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: Seriously, what is Elizabeth's problem? You'd think she'd killed someone or something with that attitude. Why can't she just lighten up already?

* * *

Rachel was excitedly rushing toward the finish line, but was stopped in her tracks as she was hit on the head by a flying hammer. A real hammer. Rachel fell to the ground, unconscious, while someone dressed as a Hammer Brother-clearly Chris-looked upon her, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Chris: (rolling his eyes) Seriously, Izzy. It's going to take a lot more than getting fired to get rid off me! If I can't torture these losers, no one can… but I'm going to make sure I **do! **Izzy will be fired, and I will make sure of it! (Chris rubs his hands together.)

Izzy: (rolling her eyes, then dialing her cell) Hello, I need you to come over and remove an unwanted visitor from the island. (Izzy nods.) Chris Maclaine. Thank you!

* * *

Danielle was skipping merrily along, and came across Rachel, lying in pain, though conscious. "Please, help me," Rachel moaned.

Danielle had a devious grin on her face. "Aww, what's wrong? The poor little daddy's girl in a little bit of pain?"

"Please help?" Rachel asked.

"Don't think so," Danielle said, shaking her head. "I think it's my duty to teach you a lesson. One about being kind to others."

"You're not that nice, either," Rachel said, then coughed.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Danielle asked nervously. "I'm super nice! Love everyone, worshiped by all, impossibly beautiful… I'm nice."

"It would be really nice if you could get me to the infirmary," Rachel said, smiling uncomfortably.

"So you can pick on everyone again?" Danielle asked, shaking her head. "I don't think so. I think you need to suffer a little." Danielle bent down to pick up Rachel's question box, lying on the ground. "Maybe a night in that decrepit shack will teach you some manners."

"Fine, steal it, make me suffer, can you help me, though?" Rachel pleaded.

Danielle tapped her chin. "No, don't want to. I stand for all that is pure and good, and you're evil."

"Danielle, where did you go?" George asked, not too far away. "I thought I heard you over here."

"Crap, I have to go, thought I lost him," Danielle said quietly.

"You're trying to keep him lost in the woods, and you say you're nice," Rachel said, raising an eyebrow.

"Just wanted a little peace, he's annoying," Danielle said, waving her hand dismissively.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (studying her hand) Seriously, George's hair is awful, and his clothes are atrocious! It's like he doesn't even realize how awful he looks. (Danielle shakes her head.) Such a pity.

* * *

"It looks like someone's guarding the box," Candice said, narrowing her eyes, watching her prey: someone dressed in black, with only a pair of glasses over an opening for his eyes.

"It's a Ninji," Walter said, holding a box.

"It's ninja, genius," Alistair said, irritated, also holding a box.

"No, it's an enemy from _Super Mario Bros. 2, _though it's impossible to tell whether it's the type-1 or type-2 of that enemy," Walter said. "We must study it to solve that little mystery, while studying the lovely Candice studying the enemy."

"Studying me?" Candice asked, looking back, raising an eyebrow. "It's nice of you guys to want to help, even though you have your boxes."

"The pleasure is ours," Alistair said.

Walter smirked. "And it is, indeed, a pleasure watching-"

Alistair elbowed Walter. "Tact! Tact!"

"It's a pleasure being in a fine lady's presence," Walter said, then glared at Alistair.

"I'm really not a fine lady," Candice said, smiling. "I think I can take it on."

"Halt!" Harold exclaimed, jumping up and down, as Candice started charging him. "To pass me, and obtain the box, you must prove yourself worthy, by either jumping over me, or hurrying underneath between jumps."

"What?" Candice asked, confused. "Why?"

"It is the _Doki Doki Panic _way," Harold stated, still jumping up and down.

"I thought this was a Mario thing," Candice said, confused.

"It was turned into a Mario thing, for what it's worth," Harold said, still jumping. "But to get my box, you must jump over me or rush under me."

"Or just do this," Candice said, walking around Harold to pick up the box, then walking back around to get back to her group.

"Wait!" Harold shouted. "That's not allowed! This is a 2-D game! You are not allowed to walk in three dimensions!"

"Sorry, but I gots to win!" Candice exclaimed, running back, with Alistair and Walter watching in awe. "Finish line, here we come!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Walter: I could watch Candice running like that all day. And when the show airs, I will record it, and watch that in slow motion. A lot.

Candice: (shuddering) Maybe I'm a little paranoid, but Walter creeps me out a bit. I'm a little worried that he just sees a pair of boobs. (Candice holds her breasts up.) Beautiful ones, mind you, but I'm more than just this, and I'm not sure he's noticed anything more, though. Alistair seems to like me for my mind a little more, at least.

Alistair: Candice is a miserable waste of oxygen, but a beautiful waste of oxygen. And unlike a certain overweight idiot, I'm smart enough not to actually tell her that.

* * *

"I'm don't deserve it," Veronica said, looking down as Nicole tried to hand her a question box.

"OK, seriously, why don't you deserve it?" Nicole asked.

"I'm just a big ol' waste of space, really," Veronica said. "Someone has to be without a box. Might as well be me."

"You're being ridiculous," Nicole said. "Just try, open up, let us be your friend!"

"No one wants that," Veronica said.

"I do," Nicole said, smiling. "Let me be your friend."

Veronica looked confused, then smiled slightly. "Are you sure? I mean, you know I'm just this useless-"

"You're not useless," Nicole said, putting her hands on Veronica's shoulders. "You're nice, and just need to cheer up a bit."

Veronica smiled. "I'm sorry… I'm just not used to this. People don't usually like me much."

"Can't imagine why," Nicole said, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Still, we can change that! Just let people see how fun and nice you are."

"I don't think that'll work," Veronica said, then sighed.

"Hey, you've made one friend, I'm sure you can make more," Nicole said.

"But that's only because you're a glutton for punishment."

Nicole slapped her own face. "Yeah, that's it. Just try, OK?

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: It's a vicious cycle, really. Someone doesn't like Veronica, so Veronica gets depressed, annoying more people, turning more people away, getting more lonely, more depressed, more annoying, turning even more people away… she probably needs more serious psychological help, really, but for now, she really, really needs someone on her side. I'd want that if I were all alone and desperate for a friend, after all.

Veronica: (smiling slightly) I really think Nicole means it. That she really does want to be friends. It's really too bad she's going to change her mind sooner or later. Everyone else does… though it would be nice if she didn't run away, I guess.

* * *

"Help?" Rachel asked weakly. "Somebody?"

"Rachel?" Katrina asked, walking nearby, stopping abruptly, holding a question box, along with Xuxa, also holding a question box. "Is that you?"

"Katrina," Rachel said, and smiled slightly. "I really need some help getting to the infirmary."

"Right!" Katrina exclaimed, nodding.

"Wait," Xuxa said, nervous. "She was pretty mean to you earlier, let's not forget. How cruelly she dumped you, and how mean she's been to me as well."

"Please don't put me in the middle of the spat over Frederique," Katrina said. "Would you really feel good if you let her die?"

Xuxa sighed. "I guess she doesn't deserve that. But I still don't like her."

"That's fine, but still, we need to help her." Katrina balanced her box on Rachel's stomach. "Need to make sure you cross with one of these, after all."

"But that's yours," Rachel said, confused.

"I'll be fine in the punishment place, really," Katrina said, lifting Rachel's shoulders. "I just want to make sure that you're all right."

Xuxa picked Rachel up by the legs. "I don't like you, but Katrina's right, you don't deserve to whither away out here. Though you know, since I am helping you here, it would be really nice if you just let me have Frederique."

"Not happening," Rachel stated.

Xuxa shrugged. "Worth a shot."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (looking guilty) I feel kind of bad about the mean things I said about Katrina. I'm so used to people being out to get me, that I'm paranoid about every little mistake someone makes being some part of a grand scheme to eliminate me. (Rachel chuckles, then admires herself in a handheld mirror.) Seriously though, sometimes I need to remember that not everyone is as wonderful as I.

Xuxa: (shuddering) I can't tell you how dirty I feel, helping out the enemy like that.

* * *

"You're going down!" Jennie exclaimed, leaping on Beth, dressed as a red turtle.

"You didn't have to jump on me, you know," Beth said.

"I thought that was the point," Jennie said, smirking. "Jump on Koopas."

"What's a Koopa?" Beth asked, putting a confused finger to her mouth.

"It's… you," Jennie said, then shook her head. "Look, it's not important. I just figured that was the point, since… you're not familiar with video games, are you?"

"Not really," Beth said, confused.

"Sorry for hurting you," Jennie said, then took out a pamphlet and handed it to Beth. "You might want to read that. Information about becoming a fruitarian. Make you a better person, not killing innocent living things."

"But I'm a farmer," Beth said.

"Daughter of a farmer," Jennie said, smiling. "Just think, you can break that awful cycle! No more suffering for plants and animals alike!"

"Um, thanks," Beth said sarcastically.

"I like to help… do you need to see the infirmary?"

"I'm OK," Beth said. "You should probably get one of the boxes."

"Right, the boxes," Jennie said, then marched forth, but hid when she saw someone up ahead. After taking a good look, hidden away, she went forth toward the person.

"Elizabeth Cox, right?" Jennie said, extending a hand. "The so-called 'murderer,'" Jennie said, using finger quotes.

"Please don't bother me," Elizabeth said, sitting on the ground, with her hands propping up her head, and elbows resting on her legs.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong," Jennie said, sitting down beside Elizabeth. "Jennie Wilson. I've heard your story."

"Everyone has," Elizabeth stated.

"I don't like seeing innocent creatures suffer," Jennie said awkwardly.

"Creature," Elizabeth said, looking down.

"OK, maybe that came out wrong," Jennie said, chuckling uncomfortably, then clearing her throat. "You seem kind of lonely."

"How observant," Elizabeth said.

"You don't seem to have a box yet," Jennie said, smiling slightly. "Maybe we can look together, and-"

"Go away!" Elizabeth yelled, irritated.

Jennie looked on the verge of tears, though didn't cry. "I'm sorry," Jennie said, then quietly left Elizabeth.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: (drinking a Coca-Cola) Elizabeth's hurting. I can feel her… well, actually, I can't feel her pain, but I know it's there. She doesn't need me pestering her, though. If she wants her alone time, I can understand. (Jennie drums her fingers on the chair and smirks.) I really do need to give that Bridgette hypocrite a good lashing, though.

* * *

"Watch out!" Isis shouted, putting her arm to keep Quincy from proceeding. "It's some sort of enemy creature!"

"I would say it's a Boomerang Brother," Quincy said.

"A Boomerang Sister, thank you," Leshawna said, dressed as a turtle, holding a couple of plastic boomerangs. "And if you want to pass me, and get my question mark box, you're gonna' have to get by me!"

"Leshawna!" Isis exclaimed, glomping the girl. "It's such an honor to meet you!"

"Thank you," Leshawna said, confused.

"You were like the best person on the show!" Isis exclaimed. "It was so mean and cruel and Chris cheated to get you voted off in the first season."

"Yeah, that was," Leshawna said, shooting a confused look to Quincy, who shrugged.

"And I'm really sorry you didn't win last season," Isis said, sniffling. "You deserved to win."

"Not really, but thank you," Leshawna said, embarrassed.

"What, how?" Isis asked, shocked. "Of course you deserved to win! You're the best contestant ever! I only wish I could be as awesome as you."

"I was a little less than awesome last season, though," Leshawna said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I did some bad things, especially to Heather and Gwen."

"Heather deserved it," Isis said, waving her hand dismissively. "Whatever you did, she deserved it."

"I can't really think of how she wouldn't have deserved whatever you did to her, too," Quincy said, stroking his chin.

"Heather's changed," Leshawna said. "And even if she didn't, I hurt Gwen too."

"Gwen's pretty nice, though," Quincy said.

"Gwen was just using you," Isis said. "I mean, sure, it was more subtle than Heather's meanness, but it's probably for the best, still."

"No, it really wasn't," Leshawna said, while Isis casually walked behind Leshawna and picked up the question box. "Gwen was my best friend here, and-wait, what are you doin'?"

"Present for Quincy!" Isis exclaimed, beaming as she glomped Quincy. "Hooray for presents!"

"Uh, yay?" Quincy asked, confused.

"I would say you should give it to Stephanie to make her fall in love, but she already got a box, but you could still tell her that you would've given it to her," Isis said, dreamy-eyed, holding her hands together excitedly. "She'd probably fall in love!"

"Um, you were supposed to fight me?" Leshawna asked, blinking.

"Oh, sorry," Isis said, as she lightly punched Leshawna in the arm. "There, you're dead, so we win!"

Leshawna shook her head and sighed, then threw her arms into the air. "Fine, fine, you win!"

"Yay!" Isis exclaimed, glomping Quincy again. "You shall be safe from punishment!"

"Lucky me," Quincy said, helplessly standing there, while Leshawna watched, chuckling.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Leshawna: Sorry Quincy, but it just warmed my heart, seeing Isis getting so excited just to give you the box. She's crushing, and if you're brave enough to stand all the hugs, I'd go for it.

Isis: Yes, yes, I have a bit of a crush on Quincy, but it's just so selfish to think of myself. Especially when Stephanie seems so nice and lonely and needs someone to cheer her up! Stephanie needs him more than I do.

Stephanie: (banging her head on the snack machine) Isis. Most. Annoying. Person. Ever.

* * *

"So, we're just leaving them down there?" Hank asked, as he and Todd were walking through the forest.

"Not forever," Todd said. "It would be unsportsmanlike to not give them a chance to get even with me, after all."

Hank raised a confused eyebrow. "Why would you want them to get revenge?"

"For the thrill!" Todd exclaimed, pumping his fist, but then held his arm in front of Hank to stop him. "But I see something up ahead."

"Yancy and… I forget his name," Hank said, scratching his head as he saw before him a guy in a plaid red shirt and a guy with a green beret, both carrying a question box.

"His name is not important," Todd said. "What is important is stealing their bounty. After all, we don't want to lose ourselves."

"Why didn't we just keep the boxes we had before, anyway?" Hank asked.

Todd shook his head. "Again, it's not worth winning if you don't cheat to win. I couldn't live with myself if I won fair and square."

"That I don't get," Hank said.

"My code of honor," Todd said, with his hand over his heart. "I live and thrive by it." Todd got into pouncing position as Yancy and Zack walked by.

"You talk to much, you know," Yancy said, with Zack following behind. "I mean, not everything's about you. I still don't know why you wouldn't let me finish my possum story. Those suckers are mean sons of-"

"Yargh!" Todd screamed as he pounced onto Yancy and Zack, who both looked frightened as Todd wrestled them for their boxes. For a lot longer than necessary, toying with them for several minutes to get the two boxes before going back over to Hank, while Yancy and Zack scuttled away.

"You were just toying with them, weren't you?" Hank asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It was a good workout," Todd said, about to throw a box to Hank, then pulling his arm back in. "Of course, I'm keeping both boxes."

"You don't need both boxes, though," Hank said, then sighed.

"But villains always treat their henchmen poorly," Todd said, smirking, then tossing over a box. "The stupid villains. The smarter ones realize that if you treat your henchmen poorly, then eventually turn against you."

"Cool," Hank said, catching the box and admiring it.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Yes, I know, I'm a firm believer of the traditions, but seriously, some of them are just stupid. I would rather not have a mutiny on my hands, thank you very much.

Yancy: That was the biggest possum I ever done see. Should've fought back, but it caught me off guard. My Ma and Pop warned me about letting my guard down. I was too arrogant, and I apologize.

* * *

Danielle was skipping merrily through the woods, humming _I Wanna' Be Famous _to herself. And only partially watching where she was going. From behind a tree, Katrina came out skipping, and the two girls crashed into each other, with Danielle dropping her question boxes.

"I'm terribly sorry," Katrina said, smirking as she quickly tossing one of the boxes to Xuxa, standing nearby, before Danielle noticed, then smiled as she helped Danielle back on her feet, and handing her the other box.

"You should be sorry," Danielle grumbled, rolling her eyes. "And I can get up myself, thank you. And watch where you're going."

"As you wish," Katrina said, smiling as she rushed back over to Xuxa, as the two rushed off.

"That worked!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Katrina. "I can't believe that worked! You're like a genius!"

"Thank you," Katrina said, with a big smile on her face. "Now I've got my box back, and Danielle still has a box, so no harm done. It was a win-win situation."

"I still think you should've taken both of her boxes," Xuxa said, smirking.

"She may have deserved that, but I don't wish to be mean," Katrina said.

"And crashing into her and taking one of her boxes wasn't mean?" Xuxa asked, raising an eyebrow.

Katrina had a guilty smile, and pinched her fingers together. "Maybe a teensy bit."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Katrina's awesome! I can't believe someone so cool has finally realized that I'm cool, too! I mean, I so totally am, but for some reason, a lot of people don't seem to notice. (Xuxa files her nails.) I can so totally rub it in the faces of all my classmates. And teachers. And principal.

Danielle: Katrina stole my box! What the hell? Who does that? I mean, at least with Todd, he admits he's evil, but Katrina's like this awful girl pretending to be nice and sweet, even though she's really this monster! I never knew anyone like that existed! I certainly can't think of anyone like that.

Isis: (shaking her head) What is with Danielle, anyway? She's like this awful girl pretending to be nice and sweet, even though she's really this monster! I really feel like strangling her!

* * *

"Dude, you really need to go on a diet," Percy said from outside the whole, struggling to pull Bob up.

"Diets are yucky," Bob said, sticking out his tongue in disgust as Percy pulled him up to the ground. "I hate celery!"

"It's not all that bad," Percy said, smirking. "Besides, it's worth looking good for the ladies."

"Don't girls have cooties?" Bob asked, putting a finger to his mouth.

"Not at our age, dude," Percy said, patting Bob on the back. "Not at our age."

"At our age, it's grosser," Bob said, gagging. "Sex is gross!"

"It's awesome, man," Percy said, as he and Bob started walking through the forest.

"Eww, eww, eww!" Bob said, holding his ears.

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe you're not our age."

"Sex kills!" Bob shouted, nervous.

"Dude, that's what the man wants you to think," Percy said, putting his hand on Bob's shoulder. "No one dies having sex."

"Don't girls get pregnant?" Bob asked.

"Dude, you have to do it, like, at least ten times, or it can't happen," Percy said, grinning.

"Boxes!" Bob exclaimed, running Percy over to grab two boxes hanging from a couple of trees.

"Good work," Percy said weakly, lying face down on the ground.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: OK, for our younger viewers, and because unlike Chris, I don't want to get you guys in trouble, don't listen to a word Percy says. Except for the cooties thing, because girls don't have cooties. (Izzy taps her chin.) Except for me, but yes, you can get pregnant the first time, and yes, I hate how heavy handed I'm sounding right now.

Bob: Bob wants to be the forty-year-old virgin one day!

* * *

"Urgh, I can't believe her!" Danielle whined as she made her way through the forest, holding a question box. "That was my box! I earned it fair and square, and she just stole it!"

"Someone stole your box?" Isis asked, standing nearby, approaching, smiling bright. "I'm sorry. I can help you find another box."

"Oh, it's you," Danielle said, rolling her eyes, then spotted Quincy nearby, and approached him, rubbing underneath his chin. "I don't suppose you would know where a girl like me might find a box."

Quincy started sweating. "I could help you find a box."

Danielle giggled. "Well, you could, or you could give me that box that you're holding."

"Here!" Quincy exclaimed, eagerly handing over his box.

Danielle gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you!" she cheered.

"You did not do that," Isis said, in shock. "You did not just do that! That was his box!"

"I didn't force him to give it to me," Danielle said, rolling her eyes. "He was nice enough to hand it to me."

"You're using him!" Isis yelled. "That's all you white girls want!":

"Oh, reverse racism now," Danielle said, with her hands on her hips. "How classy."

"That doesn't exist!" Isis yelled.

"In your mind, no," Danielle said. "Yet that's what you're doing. Funny that."

"OK, you're starting to piss me off, too," Quincy said in a low tone.

"Of course you'd take her side," Danielle said, then rubbed her finger against Quincy's cheek, melting him. "Or were, anyway."

"Cut that out!" Isis screamed.

"Make me," Danielle taunted, sticking her tongue out.

Isis screamed to the sky and pushed Danielle down, taking both her boxes. Quincy just stared in awe until Isis slapped her face in frustration and dragged him away.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: She took both of my boxes! The nerve of that horrible girl! Seriously, she discriminates against me, and **I'm **the villain somehow?

Quincy: On one hand, Danielle's hot. On the other hand, she's infuriatingly naïve. (Quincy massages his forehead, then stops to smirk.) But still… on that other hand, she **is **hot. (Quincy wiggles his eyebrows.)

Isis: (hyperventilating)

* * *

"Monster noises!" Owen exclaimed, dressed as Bowser, guarding a question box. "Fire breath! Other mean things, 'cause I'm a monster!"

"Cool," Elizabeth said, approaching. "So how do I beat you? Make you fall into lava, throw giant eggs at you, grab you by the tail and throw you into bombs, what?"

"Wait," Owen said, nervous. "Aren't you that murdery person?"

"That's the word I heard," Elizabeth said, smiling a bit.

"Take it!" Owen shouted, tossing the box over to her, then cowering. "Just don't hurt me! I'm too young to die!"

"You know, most murderers don't go around killing random people willy nilly," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

"You killed Willy Nilly?" Owen yelled, then started sobbing, pounding his fist against the ground. "Why? Why? I loved that little penguin!"

"That was Chilly-never mind," Elizabeth said, as she walked away.

"What did that cute little penguin ever do to anyone?" Owen cried out.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: (eating a chocolate bar) Oh how I've missed you, my chocolaty goodness… oh, yeah, you. (Elizabeth looked embarrassedly to the camera.) Yeah, was Owen always that insane? (Elizabeth taps her chin.) Oh yeah, the Mr. Coconut-slash-Wilson parody. Probably should've remembered that.

* * *

"Could you let go, please?" Nicole asked, as Veronica was latching on to her.

"I'm sorry," Veronica said, blushing, as she let go. "I'm just not used to having an actual, real-life friend."

"I could tell," Nicole said flatly, as she noticed Tyler up ahead, wearing a black shell costume of some sort, around some bricks. "I think he's guarding a box."

"I wouldn't count on it," Veronica said.

"No, I definitely see the box," Nicole said, confused.

"And I'm wrong as usual," Veronica said, shrugging. "Nothing new here."

"I hear you!" Tyler shouted, getting himself pumped up. "And I can throw these bricks at you if you try to come close, so watch out!" Tyler picked up one of the bricks, and threw it about three feet in front of him. "So don't come close if you don't want a taste of-yargh!"

Nicole was suddenly four feet in front of him. "Those bricks look like Styrofoam."

"Yeah, but I can throw them hard, so they can still hurt!" Tyler said, throwing a brick directly at Nicole, who didn't even flinch as it hit her.

"Ow, you got me," Nicole said, rolling her eyes as she picked up the box from behind Tyler, and started walking away.

"Yeah, you'd better run!" Tyler shouted. "You know I'd beat you if you came back over here, so yeah!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (shaking her head in the palm of her hand)

* * *

"Stupid challenge," Jennie complained, walking through the forest, angry. "Stupid people, stupid no boxes anywhere!" Jennie looked around and saw Frederique walking by, carrying a box. "Stupid uncaring admittedly hot guy… he even has a box!" Jennie picked a small rock off the ground and threw it hard, making a mark in a tree. Jennie's eyes shot wide open, and she rushed over to the tree, hugging it. "I'm sorry, Mr. Tree," Jennie said, sniffling. "I didn't mean that. I'm just… urgh, I hate this challenge!"

"Having trouble?" Elizabeth said from behind Jennie, startling the literal tree hugger, who shot up in the air.

"Oh, it's you," Jennie said, picking herself up from the ground. "I'm sorry about that. You're like a ninja, though, didn't hear you at all."

"You seem a bit frustrated," Elizabeth said, with her hands in her pockets. "Too much nature for ya'?"

"No," Jennie said. "Could you please not tease me about that?"

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth said. "Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm just so frustrated, trying to find those boxes that don't seem to actually exist," Jennie muttered.

Elizabeth shrugged, then tossed her box to Jennie. "Here."

"Wait, what?" Jennie asked, confused. "But you… I mean, I don't really deserve this."

"We jailbirds need to look out for each other," Elizabeth teased.

"I've never been to like a real prison, though," Jennie said, blinking. "I mean, not that I deserve such treatment… or you. You don't, either."

Elizabeth shrugged. "Thanks. I'm sorry for getting impatient earlier, though. It's just… well, I don't want to be alone, but who can I trust, really, you know?"

"You cannot be any more loyal than me, I assure you," Jennie said, smiling bright. "Seriously, I'm a really bad liar, and you constantly run into people who don't take my causes seriously… just so infuriating."

"The vegan thing?" Elizabeth asked.

"Fruitarian, actually," Jennie said. "Plants feel pain, too. I can feel it."

"So you're like Gaia, huh?" Elizabeth asked, smirking.

"Can we please not joke about this?" Jennie asked, nervous. "I'm sorry that I'm touchy about the issue, but no one cares. Everyone thinks I'm a nutcase, and I'm sick of it, and I know you're not trying to be mean, but it bothers me."

"Good enough," Elizabeth said. "There are certain things I get a little sensitive about, too."

"The murder thing?" Jennie asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah… don't really like talking about that," Elizabeth said. "If you want to talk about the fruitarian thing, I'll listen."

Jennie smiled. "Maybe later. Right now, we need to find you another box… I mean, if you want me look for one with you."

"I kind of like the alone time, really," Elizabeth said. "I'll see you back at the finish line, though."

Jennie was about to hug, but then stopped herself short. "Probably shouldn't do that."

"Thank you for that," Elizabeth said. "I'm not big on being touched."

"That's fine," Jennie said, as she started heading for the finish line. "Oh, and good luck!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: Apparently, Jennie knows how to be civil. So what's her problem with me, anyway?

Jennie: I really hope I can convert Elizabeth. Lord knows I can use someone else on my side, fighting this uphill battle.

Elizabeth: (shrugging) Compared to prison, that punishment room ought to be a breeze, anyway. I didn't feel right, Jennie possibly getting stuck in there.

* * *

"Hello?" George called out, to no one in particular, question box in one hand, cane in the other, slowly walking through the forest. "Anyone?"

"You are completely hopeless.""Danielle?" George asked. "Can you help me?"

Danielle rolled her eyes. "I still need a box, you know."

"Didn't you already have two boxes?" George asked, confused.

"Katrina stole one, Isis stole the other… girls can really be mean to each other."

"I don't pretend to understand girl politics," George said.

"Isis is, like, totally racist," Danielle said, playing with her hair.

"I don't really understand the whole race issue much," George said. "Then again, since the whole vision thing plays a big part in that, it's probably not something I'll ever completely understand. So I'm guessing you're like black?"

Danielle's eyes shot wide open. "No, no, I'm white. Beautifully so. Isis is black."

"OK, I'm a little more confused now, you'll have to excuse me," George said, following Danielle's footsteps and voice. "Are you sure you didn't say anything to offend her? I mean, I may not fully understand the wide world of colors, but I understand enough that it's probably more likely you said something to her."

"I was completely nice to her," Danielle said, on the verge of tears. "I don't have a mean bone in my body!"

"Well, you do kind of use us guys to do your bidding," George said.

"I don't make anyone do anything," Danielle said, nervous. "But who am I to tell someone that they're not allowed to do work for me? That would be totally selfish on my part, if nothing else, I am a very giving person."

"And beautiful," George said, wiping some drool from his mouth.

"It's really too bad you can't see how beautiful I am, though," Danielle said, pushing back her hair.

"I can hear," George said. "Your voice is divine."

"It is, isn't it," Danielle said, smirking, then frowned. "I really hope I can find a box."

"You can have my box," George said, smiling.

Danielle turned around and raised an eyebrow. "How did you find that, anyway?"

George pulled up his cane. "This thing works wonders sometimes. Would you like my box?"

Danielle sighed. "I couldn't take that from someone who's blind. That would make me look like an awful person. I couldn't do that to myself!" Danielle smiled nervously. "Or do that to you, I guess."

"I don't mind, really," George said.

"Maybe we can find someone else's box to steal," Danielle said.

"That's not very nice," George said.

"I know, but everyone keeps doing that to me, and I'm sick of it!" Danielle shouted, throwing her arms into the air, then sighed. "Though I suppose everyone loves a woobie. I could see myself in that role."

"A what?" George asked, confused, following Danielle.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Yeah, I can figure out everyone's role here. I'm obviously intended to be this show's woobie. Pity me, because I totally deserve it.

* * *

"And Yancy and Zack have made it!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping on Zack's back. "Let Izzy ride you! Vroom! Vroom, ha ha!" Izzy and Zack fell to the ground.

"I don't think you can ride him like that, little missy," Yancy said, blankly looking upon Izzy and Zack.

"I believe there're only three contestants left," Bridgette said, smiling. "Danielle, Elizabeth, and George have yet to cross the finish line with a box, and one of them will be sent to the punishment room."

"Danielle had two boxes, so it'll probably be Elizabeth who loses," Percy said. "Probably deserves it, too. I rather like not dying in my sleep."

"Shut up!" Jennie yelled.

"Yeah, Elizabeth's awesome!" Ophelia exclaimed, dancing with Percy. "Kind of mean and grumpy and killer-y, but awesome!" Ophelia's eyes went wide seeing someone approaching from the infirmary. "She's also kind of mean and grumpy."

"Shut up!" Rachel yelled, as she slowly approached everyone else, going over to Katrina, and looked down. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Katrina asked, confused.

"You know, the whole getting mad at you, blaming you for what that stupid intern did," Rachel said, embarrassed. "I'm sorry I was acting stupid, and I really hope we can be friends." Rachel extended a hand.

Katrina extended her hand and shook. "It's OK. I made a mistake. I'm sorry, too."

"Don't be," Rachel said, hugging Katrina, who looked surprised. "It's all forgotten."

"Lovely," Xuxa said, rolling her eyes. "Nice knowing you Katrina."

"Huh?" Katrina asked, turning to Xuxa, confused. "I can be both your friends, you know."

"Really?" Xuxa asked, hopeful, putting her hands together, then glomped Katrina. "You're the best!"

"I try," Katrina said, with a big smile on her face.

"I'm going to win Frederique's heart, just to let you know," Rachel said, smirking toward Xuxa.

"No, you won't!" Xuxa shouted, getting angry.

"Let's calm down, we can all be civil," Katrina said. Rachel and Xuxa glared at each other.

"I think I see George!" Ophelia called out, pointing over to the forest. "He's got a box, and he's running, and he's going to trip! I need to help!" Ophelia rushed over to George, to lift him and carry him, while Danielle and Elizabeth were fighting over the last box.

"I found this box fair and square," Elizabeth said, angry, struggling for the box.

"But I need it!" Danielle yelled, nervous. "I've already had a dozen boxes stolen from me, and I'm not letting you steal this one, too!"

"You stole it from me first!" Elizabeth shouted.

"No one likes you!" Danielle yelled. "You're a mean killer lady!"

"You don't seem very afraid of me," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes, as the two were getting closer to the finish line.

"I don't fear worthless wastes of oxygen like you!" Danielle yelled, right as Elizabeth pulled the box away, and fell over the finish line.

"And Danielle loses!" Izzy exclaimed. "Yay!"

"What?" Danielle shouted, worried. "No, no!"

"Yes, yes!" Izzy teased, rubbing Danielle's cheeks. "You're a big fat loser… or a big skinny loser, so punishment room for you!"

"But it's the afternoon!" Danielle shouted. "I'll starve!" Eva lifted Danielle, and headed for the punishment room.

"You'll live," Eva stated flatly, as she carried Danielle away.

"Rich white girl's tears," Isis said, rolling her eyes. "Wish I had one of those tiny violins."

"I don't think you understand that expression," Quincy said, looking confused to Isis.

"Really?" Isis asked, putting a finger to her mouth.

"You can let go, Ophelia," George said, still being carried by Ophelia.

"It's OK, I don't mind!" Ophelia exclaimed, squeezing George tight.

Izzy pulled out a bowl of keys. "We have twenty-four keys here, each one will fit in any box, so just take a key and open your box, and we'll find out which team you're on!"

Rachel opened her box eagerly, and pulled out a large pink coin with a sceptre on it, looking confusedly at it. "So, does this mean I'm the leader of the Magic Wands?"

"It's a sceptre," Izzy said ominously. "The Sceptre of the Incan King. A priceless artifact from ages ago, both sacred and powerful. It is the symbol for Team Amazon."

"Team Amazon?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's a stupid name for a team," Walter said, looking at his pink coin. "Girly color, too."

"I've got a pink coin, too," Katrina said, smiling, holding it up. "Looks like-"

"We're teamies!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Katrina, holding a pink coin as well. "I'm so, so happy we get to be on the same team!"

"Me too," Katrina said, smiling bright, hugging back.

"And the same team as me, what joy," Rachel said, rolling her eyes, then smiled sincerely to Katrina. "Still, Katrina, nice that you're on my team, at least."

"Maybe all three of us can be best of friends by the end of the season," Katrina said, smiling bright.

"No!" Rachel and Xuxa shouted simultaneously, then turned their backs to each other, crossing their arms over their chests. Katrina looked down and sighed.

"Ooh, it's a blue crown!" Ophelia exclaimed, licking the blue coin from her box, then making a face. "It doesn't taste much like chocolate."

"It's not chocolate. It's metal," Izzy said, blinking. "I like how they taste, though." Izzy shrugged. "That is the Crown of Genghis Khan, a pretty badass dude in history-our educational moment of the day-and it is the symbol for your team, Team Himalayas."

"Wasn't Genghis Khan Mongolian?" Alistair asked, annoyed. "Mongolia isn't around the Himalayas, so that team name makes no sense!"

"It makes sense," Walter said, smirking. "I'm betting the last team has a picture of a coin on the coin and it's going to be called Team Transylvania."

"That is one funny looking picture of a coin, then" Nicole said, raising an eyebrow as she held up a green coin with a picture of a wedge of Swiss cheese on it.

"The Green Cheese of Longevity," Izzy stated solemnly. "Rumored to grant eternal life, and found only in one place: the moon. As such, you are a member of Team Moon."

"Seriously, what is with the weird team names?" Alistair asked, irritated.

"Because Izzy wants the show to be educational, so Izzy is going to educate the kiddies about the Amazon rain forest, the Himalayan mountain range, and the moon," Izzy said, nodding.

"That's got nothing to do with the team names," Walter said. "You just stole the names from-"

"No I didn't," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Izzy is wild and free and creative like that! But right now, Izzy would like all of the people on Team Amazon to stand in front of the third place building, as that's where you will be sleeping tonight."

"That's not fair!" Rachel shouted. "We didn't lose, or anything, so why do we get stuck with the loser room?"

"Would you rather share a room with Danielle?" Izzy asked. Rachel promptly backed down, muttering something to herself, as she, Katrina, Xuxa, Alistair, Frederique, Percy, Walter, and Zack moved to in front of that building.

"We deserve better than this," Rachel said, angry, then put her arm around Katrina. "All the coolest people are on this team."

Alistair rolled his eyes. "That's a good point. With you on this team, we actually do deserve these accommodations. Rachel screamed.

Izzy coughed to get everyone's attention. "Everyone on Team Moon, get in front of the second place building, as that's where you'll be sleeping tonight." Nicole, Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, and Veronica moved in front of the second place building.

"I don't deserve this place," Veronica said.

"If you like, you can spend the night with Danielle in the punishment room," Izzy said, frustrated.

"OK," Veronica said, shrugging. "I deserve it, I know."

Izzy slapped her own face in frustration, then continued. "Team Himalayas, please stand in front of the first place building, as you'll be getting luxury accommodations tonight!" Ophelia, Bob, Candice, George, Isis, Leanne, Ulysses, and Yancy moved in front of the first place building.

"Party at our house!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping everyone on her team multiple times. "We're going to have so much fun, it'll be, well, fun!"

"And we have our teams," Izzy said, smiling. "Team Amazon, Team Himalayas, and Team Moon. Which team will do well in this game? Which team will do poorly? Ooh, I can't wait to find out!" Izzy grabbed Bridgette, suffocating the surfer girl. "Find out these questions and more, next time on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

"Too tight," Bridgette cried out.

* * *

**Teams**

Team Amazon: Alistair, Frederique, Katrina, Percy, Rachel, Walter, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Bob, Candice, George, Isis, Leanne, Ophelia, Ulysses, Yancy  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica  
Unclassified: Danielle


	3. Day 2, Part 1: D is for Deserted

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 3: Day 2: Part 1: D is for Deserted**

It was late at night, and Izzy and Bridgette were standing next to each other on the Dock of Shame, smiling, and Izzy started speaking, looking like she couldn't contain herself. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _we taught all of the kiddies at home the alphabet. All the way from a is for angry Alistair, b is for buoyant Bob, all the way to y is for yucky Yancy."

"Shouldn't that be z?" Bridgette asked, smirking.

"Don't be silly," Izzy said, waving it off. "There aren't enough z words to make the intro work if I tried. Which is today's lesson: there are no words that have a z in them."

"Izzy," Bridgette said.

"Yes, I know my name, don't wear it out, ha ha!" Izzy exclaimed, then slid over to the other side of Bridgette. "In our last episode, you got to know the twenty-six contestants! Well, twenty-six, minus one." Izzy put on a cheesy grin for the camera. "Do you know what twenty-six minus one equals, kiddies at home?"

"Um, Izzy-"Bridgette started, putting a hand on Izzy's shoulder.

"e/i rating, Bridgette, e/i rating," Izzy said, smirking, then turning back to the camera. "It's twenty-five! You're really smart!"

"Heather's a little late with her rendezvous," Bridgette said, putting her hands in her pockets. "She supposedly found an m-named contestant that she thought would be great, but I don't know.

"Izzy trusts Heather's gut!" Izzy exclaimed. "Unfortunately, Heather's been held up a bit-airport security accused her of being a Christian, though Izzy isn't really sure whether that's true or not." Izzy shrugged. "Heather will be here soon, but until then, we've still got twenty-five contestants for Izzy to toy with!"

"Is it just me, or are these contestants meaner?" Bridgette asked.

Izzy shrugged. "Just you, probably. I mean, how many of us seemed mean at first glance?" Izzy shifted her eyes back and forth. "Izzy remembers that Ezekiel didn't really give a good first impression."

"You'll never let me forget it, eh?" Ezekiel asked, standing behind the camera.

"Nope!" Izzy exclaimed, jumping in excitement. "Anyway, we had to divide the contestants into teams, so we had them all run through the forest to find boxes with question marks on them! We had twenty-four of them, each with a large coin inside. A sceptre represented Team Amazon, a crown represented Team Himalayas, and a wedge of green cheese represented Team Moon. And everyone except for Danielle found a box with a coin!"

"Technically, Danielle kind of did find one of the boxes," Bridgette said. "All the stealing everyone was doing bothered me."

Izzy shrugged. "It makes for good TV, so Izzy wouldn't interfere. Besides, Izzy's not sure about the legalities of interfering, anyway. She'd need to ask Courtney about that."

"Danielle did kind of get what she deserved, if you ask me," Bridgette said. "She was pretty mean, though not as bad as Jennie."

"Someone will leave the island today, though," Izzy said. "Danielle is going to have a disadvantage there, though we shall see if she gets eliminated first. Izzy knows all the guys watching out there will be disappointed if she is first to go."

"She is really pretty," Ezekiel said from behind the camera.

"Excuse me for a moment," Izzy calmly stated, then walked over toward the camera, and behind it, where a smack could be heard, and Bridgette went wide-eyed, and Izzy walked back over to Bridgette, stuffing a mallet down her skirt.

"I'm OK, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Who will win today?" Izzy asked, dramatically holding her hand toward the camera. "Who will lose? Who will be going home? Find out, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

* * *

Late at night, though she couldn't see the night from her room, Danielle was cuddling herself in a corner of the punishment shack, rocking her body back and forth, looking extremely stressed.

* * *

**Confession Punishment Room**

Danielle: (wiping a tear from her eye) I just don't get it. Here I am, the strongest, smartest player in the game, and everyone's crapping on me. I don't get-  
(Danielle was interrupted as Owen barged into the room and pushed her out.)  
Owen: Gang way, it's coming out!

* * *

Danielle was cradling herself next to the exit, frightened. "Duncan, are you out there?" Danielle nervously continued rocking as she was waiting for an answer, but didn't hear one. "Please, Duncan?"

"He's not supposed to talk to you," Owen said from the bathroom. "Oh, and I'm not either, so… just… don't tell anyone I said that. Or this! I didn't say this either! Stupid, stupid…."

Danielle sat there, with her arms by her side, looking at the cement floor. After a minute, a devious smirk grew on her face.

"We sure had a good time in here last night, huh, Duncan?"

"**You slut!**" Courtney screamed from the other side of the door. "Duncan, give me the key!"

"I didn't do anything!" Duncan yelled, angry. "She just wants to hear me talk, and thanks to your genius, it worked."

"Thank you, Courtney," Danielle said, smirking, but then looked nervous. "I'm sorry for that, but I was desperate! It's really rare for me to sink to doing something so mean and horrible. I'm just so lonely in here." Danielle wiped another tear from her eye.

"OK, look," Courtney said sympathetically. "We're really not supposed to be talking to you now, but I promise we can talk tomorrow." Courtney chuckled to herself a bit. "Having people hate me for being perfect is something I can relate too, really."

"You're kidding," Duncan said, feigning surprise. "You, perfect?" Danielle giggled.

"Closer than you are," Courtney smugly said, then resumed her normal voice. "Seriously though, we're not supposed to be conversing with you, but tomorrow, I promise!"

"Thank you," Danielle said, nervous, as she leaned against the door, twiddling her fingers.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Courtney: I'm going to forgive Danielle for that comment about herself and Duncan. (Courtney shudders.) I mean, I can kind of relate. Being a perfect member of my team, and everyone being jealous and wanting to vote me off-thank goodness for Ezekiel's faux pas to save me.

* * *

**Confession Punishment Room**

Danielle: (wearing a gas mask, waving her hand in front of her face) How Owen does this, I'll never understand. Really, though, I'm nice, and of course, every girl here has to be jealous of me. Isis was obviously jealous when I was flirting with Quincy. Katrina was obviously jealous of me and wanted to make sure I lost, hope she's happy. (Danielle sighs.) She obviously is.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (rubbing her arm) I feel terrible about Danielle. I mean, I know she had two boxes, and that I only took one, but somehow she lost her other box, and I can't help but feel partly responsible. And I know she's not that nice, but it just doesn't feel fair.

* * *

"Sleeping bags," Rachel said that night, looking down at the floor of the room with her hands on her hips. "We get stupid sleeping bags! That's worse than the bunk beds Chris gave them!"

"Maybe you should just quit the game," Xuxa said, smirking. "Make it easier on us, and easier on yourself."

"Maybe you should mind your own business," Rachel said, then smirked at Xuxa. "And I should add that Frederique is my business." Frederique sighed, and looked to the ceiling.

"I could be your business," Percy said, sneaking behind Rachel, wiggling his eyebrows. Rachel punched his face without even looking back.

"The Batman move," Walter said. "That was pretty cool."

"Don't you guys have your own room to be stupid in?" Rachel asked, irritated.

"It's like a tent flap separating the rooms," Percy said, lifting the flap in the middle of the room. "So if one of you girls wants to sneak over in the middle of the night-"

"Eww, no!" Rachel shouted, then gagged.

"Except for Frederique!" Xuxa exclaimed, making a lovey-dovey face his way. "He can sneak over."

"To see me," Rachel added. Xuxa glared at Rachel.

"That's not allowed!" Alistair shouted. "I'm telling!"

"It's not going to happen," Frederique said, then sighed.

Alistair poked Frederique's chest. "It better not, Missy."

Frederique angrily grabbed Alistair's hand, crushing it somewhat. "Do not touch me."

Alistair held his hand in pain after Frederique let go. "You win this round, pretty boy, but vengeance shall be mine!"

"Whatever you say, Todd," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "Just go to your room, already!"

"I am not Todd!" Alistair yelled, stomping his foot.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (with bags under his eyes) Seriously, why did I have to get stuck on this lousy team? We've got a fat chick, a Heather clone, and a girl so frustratingly saccharine I want to pull my hair out! Why couldn't I be on the team with the hot slut? Is that too much to ask?

* * *

"Why did I have to get stuck on a team full of losers?" Rachel asked, lying in her sleeping bag on the floor, staring at the ceiling, along with Xuxa, and Katrina lying between them.

"So which team isn't the team of losers?" Xuxa asked, rolling her eyes.

"All of them," Rachel said. "Everyone's a loser." Rachel turned to Katrina. "No offense."

"None taken," Katrina said, with a mask over her eyes, looking peaceful.

"Stealing boyfriends isn't enough, I see," Xuxa said. "You're stealing running gags now, too."

"First, that wasn't a running gag," Rachel said. "Second, I'm trying to be nice here! Can we drop the whole Frederique thing now?"

"Calling me a loser is trying to be nice," Xuxa stated flatly. "Uh huh. Sure."

"Well, OK, it wasn't, but it's not like you're nice to me, either," Rachel said. "I don't like you, you don't like me, it's mutual."

"I'm not getting any sleep tonight, am I?" Katrina asked, still just lying there.

"Sorry about that," Xuxa said, looking guilty.

"It wouldn't be so bad if you two were getting along," Katrina said. "I'm guessing expecting that on the first night was expecting too much from you both."

"She's the mean one," Xuxa said.

"Well, yeah," Katrina said, trailing off.

"This wasn't completely my fault," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "We both just wanted the same guy. That doesn't make me the villain."

"But you are the villain," Xuxa said.

"Not because of that, though!" Rachel shouted, defensive. "I like him. I deserve love, too. Besides, you're fat. No guy really wants that."

"What?" Xuxa asked, surprised.

"No offense, but it's true," Rachel said. "A guy like that is going to want someone equally hot, like moi," Rachel said, pointing to herself. "He isn't going to want you."

"He loves me, and I'll prove it!" Xuxa shouted, crying slightly.

"He doesn't love you," Rachel said. "He doesn't even know you. Admittedly, he does not love me yet, either. However, I do aim to rectify that setback."

"Just let Frederique choose, and let me get some sleep," Katrina said, turning onto her stomach.

"Fine," Rachel said, narrowed her eyes to Xuxa. "We'll settle this later." Rachel pointed to her eyes with two fingers, then pointed them toward Xuxa.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (with bags under his eyes) Ugh, did not get a good night's sleep at all. It was bad enough, Izzy having the **audacity **to force us to use sleeping bags, which, I might add, is even worse accommodations than Chris' bunk beds. (Alistair shudders, then moves his hand like a puppet's mouth.) But then, Rachel and Xuxa have to yak yak yak all night long! You're both ugly and unworthy of Frederique, much less me, so just **shut up!**

Percy: (yawning) Just wish Katrina would've shut up. Really, what's hotter than two chicks duking it out? And what's worse than some party pooper spoiling the fun?

Walter: Xuxa's just fat and disgusting. (Walter farts.) That can be edited out, right?

Rachel: OK, I felt a pang of guilt calling Xuxa fat, but it wasn't like I was lying, and besides, she was being mean to me, too. So it wasn't completely unjustified, right? (Rachel shudders.)

* * *

"Bunk beds," Veronica said, shrugging. "There're only four. Guess I'll sleep on the floor."

"There're four in both rooms," Hank said. "I think we could let one of you use one of the beds in the boys' room-"

"Just send Nicole over," Todd said, smirking. "I'm sure you can trust the lesbian not to do anything funny."

"Eww, no," Nicole said, reeling back. "Seriously, no. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I can do it," Jennie said. "I should probably get used to living closer to nature."

"You three can fight amongst yourselves," Stephanie said, as she climbed into one of the top bunks, and lay down, pulling the covers over her body.

Elizabeth yawned. "Yeah, I'm going to get some sleep."

"You could just settle it by letting Elizabeth sleep on the floor," Quincy said, shrugging. "She kind of deserves it." Everyone stared and blinked. A little later, Elizabeth shrugged, and tucked herself in below Stephanie.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: That's a good way to get yourself killed, Quincy.

Veronica: I probably should've suggested that just so Elizabeth would've put me out of my misery.

* * *

"Just let me sleep on the floor," Veronica said. "I deserve it."

"No, you don't," Nicole said. "You need a nice, comfortable bed! You need to see that people like you!"

"Veronica sucks!" Todd exclaimed, then laughed. "I mean, you suck too, but she's like the queen of sucking, ha ha!"

Nicole walked over and slapped Todd's face. "She doesn't need that!"

Todd smirked. "I knew you wanted me." Todd started making a kissy face to Nicole, who reeled back in disgust, then kicked him in the balls.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: So totally worth it. I knew I could convert her! No one can resist The Todd. (Todd flexes his muscles for the camera.)

* * *

"I cannot believe they are not complaining more about bunking with a murderer!" Quincy said, nervous, alone in the top of one of the bunk beds.

"They don't want targets on their backs," Todd said in the top of the other bunk bed in the guy's room. "Even I fear her. I would rather not die."

"She makes me a little nervous, too," Hank said, lying below Todd.

"Everything makes you nervous," Todd said. "Still, we need to be rid of Elizabeth, for our own safety, of course."

"Kind of wish Danielle got the box instead of her today," Hank said, looking at the bottom of Todd's bunk above him. "She's beautiful, and not a killer."

"Not that we know of, at least," Todd said. "She would obviously be useless in challenges, though, but she would make for nice eye candy for our team."

"Didn't that kind of talk get Ezekiel voted off in the first season?" Quincy asked.

"Except Ezekiel was stupid enough to tell everyone," Todd said. "He was right, of course, but I know better than to tell the girls that they're useless. Though I do fear for our team, since the other teams have more guys, but we have more girls. Nicole is hot, so she should stay, of course, but the others really have to go."

"I don't know," Hank said. "Jennie's kind of cute."

"You weren't here yet when she had this big blow-up at Bridgette," Todd said. "She's far less cute after seeing that side of her."

"And Nicole's not into guys, you know," Hank said.

"That can be changed," Todd said, smirking. "No woman can resist my charms, ha ha!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: So Jennie's got a temper. (Hank smirks.) Sounds hot!

Todd: Nicole will want me. Just you wait. (Todd puts on a long-haired wig, then taps his chin.) Yeah, I'm going to need to think of a better plan than this.

* * *

"Slumber party!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Isis as all of Team Himalayas walked into one of the bedrooms, then dragged Isis with her onto the bed, bouncing on it. "Ooh, comfy!" Ophelia exclaimed, pushing her hands down on the bed.. "Fancy blanket, recliner, ooh!" Ophelia dragged Isis with her into the bathroom. "Vanity, a shower and a bathtub, and ooh, toilet!" Ophelia hugged the toilet, letting go of Isis.

"Please don't do that again," Isis said, dizzy

"It's a toilet," Leanne grumbled. "It's just a stupid toilet!"

"It's a **clean **toilet," Ophelia said, glaring at Leanne, then putting back on a smile and glomping him, rubbing his hair. "Your hair is funny."

Leanne struggled to remove Ophelia from his body. "Do not mess with my hair!"

"I can fix 'er up," Yancy said, then hocked a loogie into his hand, then smeared in into Leanne's hair, ultimately making it messier.

"I hate you guys!" Leanne yelled, as he stormed out of the room.

"She's got issues," Ophelia said, rolling her eyes.

"I think you were all bugging him," Candice said.

"She likes it," Ophelia said, holding her hands together.

"You know, he isn't really a she," Candice said.

"She's not?" Ophelia said, blinking, then shrugged, and glomped Isis again. "We're going to have so much fun, though, sleepovering together! Eeeiii!"

"We're not friends, you know," Isis said, confused.

"I know," Ophelia said, backing away slightly. "But you just seem really nice and super cool and awesome, and my instincts are pretty terrible most of the time, really, but the way I figure, I've been wrong so many times, that I'm bound to be right this time!"

"Well, I try to be awesome," Isis said, smiling.

"Me and you can have a really fun sleepover together!" Ophelia exclaimed, jumping up and down, clapping her hands. "You can have the bed, I don't mind sleeping under it!"

"You do know there's a recliner in these rooms," Isis said, pointing over to the recliner.

"I've always wanted to sleep under a bed, though," Ophelia said. "I'd do it at my home, but there's so much junk under there that it's hard without being attacked by evil crayons." Ophelia shuddered.

"A sleepover sounds cool," Candice said, smiling.

"I don't think you were invited," Isis said, glaring. "It's a girls' only thing, so you wouldn't be interested, what with no guys and all."

"Aww, she can come!" Ophelia exclaimed, beaming. "Though I was thinking she'd probably rather hang with the boys, but I don't want her to feel left out."

"It's OK," Candice said, as Isis continued glaring. "I've got a nice bed to sleep in, I guess."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: Aww, it's too bad. I would've loved to her all of her slutty tales of sluttiness, and maybe learn the ways of the slut! They've always got such fun stories!

Candice: (sighing) I should be used to it. Girls don't like me. Yes, I've done things before I ain't proud of, and… really, am I that bad? I'm not mean, really.

* * *

"Guess this room is good as any," George said, chuckling to himself, trying to feel his way around the room.

"Do you need help?" Bob asked, peeking into the room.

"I'm good," George said, finding the bed, then climbing onto it.

"Wow, you're good," Bob said, amazed.

"I'm used to this," George said. "I mean, it's harder, since I haven't been here before, and I'm basically trusting Izzy not to have dug a hole in the room, but I can get around."

"Can you fly?" Bob asked.

"Fly?" George asked, confused.

"You have super powers!" Bob exclaimed. "Is flying one of them?"

George shook his head. "Nope, sorry, can't fly."

It's OK," Bob said. "Batman can't fly either, but he's still super!"

"Batman doesn't have super powers," George said.

"He doesn't?" Bob asked, confused.

"He really doesn't," George said. "Shocking, I know. He just has mad skills."

"But Batman's not mad," Bob said, holding his head as if he had a headache.

"Well, that depends," George said. "If you mean mad angry, then yeah, he's pretty pissed off most of the time. If you mean mad crazy, well… yeah. He's pretty much insane. Do you know many people who react to their parents' deaths by buying a lot of toys to fight crime?" Bob thought about it for about a minute. "They usually don't," George said.

"That was a tough question," Bob said. "How did you find the bed, though?"

"Just kind of felt my way around until I found it," George said.

"That's amazing," Bob said, wistful.

"Again, not really that much," George said.

Bob smirked. "George and Danielle sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" George exclaimed, defensive, blushing.

"She's pretty," Bob said. "You can't see her, though, so that has to be magic!"

"She has a really pretty voice," George said. "I wish I could see how utterly perfect she looks, but at the same time, at least I don't know what I'm missing, so it's hard to be too disappointed. Her voice is divine, though"

"You can have her," Bob said, smiling. "Bob doesn't want to steal your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," George said, blushing again. "Not yet, at least. You're allowed to try to win her heart too, you know."

"You can have her," Bob said, still smiling. "I'll tell the other guys that she's yours."

"Please don't do that," George said. "Don't really want to force her to pick me. Just need to try my hardest to win her heart."

"Bob think you'll win," Bob said, then sat down on the floor, scratching his head. "So, do you see black?"

George looked confused. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"Do you see black, and everything looks like black?" Bob asked. "When I close my eyes, everything looks black."

"I don't think I'm seeing black," George said. "Then again, if I saw it, I probably wouldn't recognize it, since it's an absence of light, so for all I know, that is what I'm seeing. Couldn't tell you, though."

"Bob always wondered," Bob said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: (drinking a strawberry Fanta, then spitting it out) Yeah, could really use some help finding the iced tea. I'll just need to remember not to try that button combination again.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Punishment Room**

Danielle: (waving her hand in front of her face) George is broken. I deserve someone not broken. And with better hair. That doesn't make me a bad person though, right? I mean, no one called Gwen mean for choosing the better-looking Trent over the geeky-looking Cody, so it doesn't make me mean for wanting a hotter guy, right?

* * *

"This is so much fun!" Ophelia exclaimed, painting Isis' nails blue, sitting on the floor near the bed. "Ooh, you're going to be so pretty!"

"I am, aren't I?" Isis said, smirking.

"Ooh, who do you like!" Ophelia exclaimed, beaming. "Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"No one," Isis said, looking down. "I want to be nice and let Stephanie have Quincy."

Ophelia smirked. "Ah, so you want Quincy!"

"No, I want Stephanie to have Quincy," Isis pointed out. "She's smart, and nice, and needs a guy."

"You're not smart and nice?" Ophelia asked, cocking her head.

"Oh, I'm super nice!" Isis exclaimed, then looked down. "Sometimes, at least… but some people make me be meaner, but I don't want to be!"

"You just need to not worry about them," Ophelia said. "Like Leanne, just wants to put everyone down and hurt my feelings, but I won't let her! I'm stronger than she is, and I could totally beat her up if I wanted, but I'm happy and don't let her get to me."

"Yeah, let her suffer," Isis said, giggling, then stopped herself. "I mean, yes." Isis sighed, then looked at her hand. "You seem fun and nice, really."

"I try!" Ophelia exclaimed. "I also seem to annoy people a lot for some reason, but I never really understood it. It's like some people just don't want to be happy and like complaining and growling and eating other people's heads, and then you have like this person running around with blood gushing out from their necks and it's really funny and gross, but totally awesome, and the person is like 'help me, I don't have a head and I'm bleeding to death,' and I'm like 'how are you even talking without a head? You're freaking me out!'"

Isis giggled. "That's pretty funny, really."

Ophelia glomped Isis. "Yay! I'm funny! Not everyone gets my sense of humor, but that's only because a lot of people are boring… oh yeah." Ophelia let go of Isis. "Sorry, force of habit."

Isis smiled slightly. "It's OK. It's just… I'm not used to this."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: I don't know… people like Ophelia take advantage of people like me, but she's just so nice and friendly and… I don't know. I don't trust her, but at the same time, I worry that I am trusting her, even though I know I shouldn't and I know she'll hurt me… but she's just so nice and fun!

Ophelia: Isis is weird, but it's fun playing with her! Like, for part of the night, we found a balloon, and lit it on fire, and it started screaming in agony, and we just laughed at the stupid balloon. But it teased us first, so it was totally inappropriate. And I think I just dreamed that part, but it was pretty lucid, so I'm counting it! Oh, and it was a purple balloon, because I know you were imagining a red one in your head. Don't lie, you were so totally picturing a red balloon.

* * *

"This is stupid!" Rain complained, putting a glowing blue rectangle on the ground. "I should be doing this stupid challenge instead of that miserable Rachel!"

"Aww, well, maybe this will make up for it," Charlotte said, picking up a gift-wrapped box.

Rain raised an eyebrow, then took the box and opened it, which promptly exploded. Not doing any damage, but leaving Rain startled. "I am going to kill you," Rain said.

"As many times as Jokey pulled that exact same joke, I thought it would've been funnier," Charlotte said, then started singing. "But don't be mad, you your mood was bad, you should be glad that you've been had!" Rain bolted off after Charlotte, cheerfully running away.

"Murder in Camp Wawanakwa," Alyssa said, writing down on her notepad. "This is going to be huge!"

"Bathroom duty says Rain won't kill her," Elli said, smirking, holding a ball flashing between pale yellow and black.

"I don't think she'll kill her either, though," Alyssa said, casually watching Rain chasing Charlotte.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: These people think I'm a joke! Someone to just tease and belittle, but I am going to show these people! I am a threat, and shall be treated as such!

* * *

"Pancakes!" Ophelia exclaimed, sitting next to Isis. "We're getting pancakes! Can I get them with strawberries and whipped cream?"

"Sure!" Sadie exclaimed, writing it down on her notepad.

"Can I have the strawberries and whipped cream, too?" Candice asked, sitting next to Ophelia.

"You weren't invited to this table," Isis said, glaring at Candice, who nervously backed away, and found her own table.

"Maybe you should stop being a slut," Danielle said, as she passed Candice, and sat down at her own table. "I invite you all to site beside me… pancakes, I see today! I shall enjoy!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (twirling her hair) I only have Candice's best interests at heart, I assure you. She is quite pretty-less than I, of course-but I could see Candice as my slightly less attractive best friend.

* * *

A big pile of brown glop hit Danielle in the face, startling her. "What the hell was that?" she yelled.

"Breakfast!" Chef yelled, sticking his head out the window. "You lost! You don't get pancakes!"

"Would you like mine?" George asked. "I haven't touched mine yet."

"You do that, and you both get this slop for breakfast!" Chef barked, making George shiver in fear.

Danielle glared at Chef. "I want pancakes!"

"You ain't getting any!" Chef yelled.

"Yes I am!" Danielle yelled, going over to George, taking his pancakes, and kissing him on the cheek. "That was very thoughtful of you." Danielle tapped her chin, and gave all but one back to George. "I don't need much."

"You aren't allowed to take those!" Chef screamed, as he jumped through the window to take the pancake away, but was immediately picked up by Danielle and thrown out the door of the dining room.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Chef: (bruised) Where the hell do all these skinny girls get all that muscle from?

Danielle: (filing her nails) Don't make me angry. I try to be nice and demure, but I'm **not **this poor little weak girl who you can take advantage of!

Izzy: (slapping her face) I guess that's my fault for not explaining the rules beforehand. I thought it would be more fun for Danielle to be surprised by her breakfast, and laugh at her, but… damn. Just damn. Who knew she had that kind of strength?

* * *

"Um, was that Chef, crying like a baby out there?" Rachel asked, as she, Katrina, and Xuxa walked into the dining room. "Please tell me he's not making our breakfast this morning."

"No," Sadie said, walking them over to a table. "Well, he was supposed to make Danielle breakfast, but it didn't quite work."

Rachel blinked. "I won't ask."

"I see Frederique over there," Katrina said, as she and the other two sat down. "He's by himself. Maybe one of you two could get some alone time with him."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Frederique: (shuddering) Really not liking Katrina much now.

* * *

"Hi, Frederique," Rachel said, massaging his shoulders. "My, you're looking nice this morning."

"Very nice," Xuxa said, laying her head on the table, in front of Frederique.

"Could you two please leave me alone?" Frederique asked, annoyed. "I'd like some time to myself, please."

"Oh, of course," Rachel said, smiling as she walked away. "Wouldn't want to cramp your style!"

"Just my style," Xuxa muttered under her breath.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: He's just playing hard to get. It couldn't be any more obvious that he likes me!

Rachel: (rubbing her forehead) What's his damage, anyway? Seriously, just get to know me, and… well, I can be nice when I want to be. (Rachel smirks.)

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette brought the three teams of contestants, plus Danielle, looking miserable, over in front of the dining room. "Ready for another challenge?" Izzy asked, grinning.

"I will win this time!" Danielle exclaimed, pumping her fist.

"You'd better," Izzy said, with a devious grin on her face, "because the team that gets in last place must vote off one of their own. And since, right now, you're pretty much a team of one-"

"I just won't vote myself off, then," Danielle said, a bit nervous. "Ha, loophole. Ha!"

"If you refuse to vote for yourself, then it would count as a tie," Izzy said, smirking. "And we have a tiebreaker in place for just such an occasion, and… well, let's just say, since you're the only member on your team, you'd lose that tiebreaker."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (with her arms crossed over her chest) Where is Courtney, anyway? She said she couldn't talk last night, that I'd have to wait until Izzy decided to let me out, and I've finally been let out of that awful room, and she's nowhere to be found? Seriously, what could be more important than me?

Courtney: (looking embarrassed) I could've been doing something important… except I wasn't. Sorry Danielle, just kind of slipped my mind, busy with Duncan, and all-but not that! We didn't do that!

Duncan: (smirking for the camera) We did enough.

* * *

Izzy tossed a metal blade toward Danielle, who screamed as it landed right before her. "That's one of the weapons you might choose to use for this mission. That's plastic by the way, Danielle."

"Plastic can hurt," Danielle said.

Izzy shrugged, then tossed a big, stuffed bee at Danielle, controlling it with a remote control. "This one's another weapon you might like."

"It's a stupid stuffed animal," Rachel stated flatly. "In what way, exactly, is a stuffed be going to help us?"

"It's a hornet, silly," Izzy said, leaping over to Rachel, pulling on her cheek. "And you are going to be hunting down evil robots who, for some reason, are all men." Izzy shook her head. "Why would a robot need to be made specifically male, anyway? It's almost like Ezekiel designed them all." Izzy smiled brightly and waved. "I know you're not like that now, honey!"

"It's Mega Man," Walter said. "Overrated, if you ask me."

"Shut up, if you ask me," Alistair whined.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I can't say I care much for Mega Man. Really, not a big fan of video games in general. It's one of those things that you really need to be able to see to understand the whole appeal.

* * *

"Look, it works like this," Izzy said. "Somewhere out in the forest we have twenty of favorite contestants from the first two seasons, each dressed as a different robot master. All you have to do is defeat them! And whoever defeats the most wins! And whoever defeats the fewest loses. Maybe."

"What do you mean 'maybe'?" Rachel asked, annoyed. "We'd like to know the actual rules, not the 'if I feel like it' rules."

"Well, you see, you each have a life meter. We have our trusty interns watching closely. Each time an enemy hits you, you lose a bit of life. Get hit twenty-eight times, and you're out. If your entire team is out, then your team loses, even if you defeated more bosses than another team. It's that simple."

"Like there are any enemies that really hurt so little," Walter said.

Izzy narrowed her eyes. "You know a lot for a guy who doesn't like the series." Walter shrugged. "Anyway, it's to keep things simple and somewhat fair." Bridgette started handing out black boxes, with the names of the contestants, to them. "These boxes will flash and make noise and be otherwise obnoxious to let you know when you're out, and to let our interns know when to no longer count your attacks, in case you try to stay in the game anyway."

Rain pushed a large box without a top over to Izzy, grumbling the whole time. "I should be part of this challenge!" Rain shouted, then motioned slitting her throat to Rachel, who gulped, before walking off backwards, glaring at Rachel.

"She scares me," Bridgette said, watching nervously.

"And you scare me, what's your point?" Jennie asked, with her arms crossed over her chest. Bridgette glared at Jennie.

"Let's play nice," Izzy said. "In this box we have seventy-eight boxes filled with supplies! You can't open the boxes yet, but you can each choose one box to help with your mission." Izzy grinned deviously toward Danielle. "But you get last pick. Everyone else, have at it!" Most of the contestants started digging in, fighting over boxes, while Walter and Danielle watched from the side.

Walter shrugged. "Too much effort to fight over the weapons."

"They'll save the good ones for me," Danielle said, watching nervously. "Right?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (nervously looking around) Of course, it would help if I knew what the good weapons were. I've never really played the games before.

* * *

Izzy laughed as the contestants were all fighting over weapons boxes, while Bridgette looked concerned. "Maybe we should've just done this alphabetically?" Bridgette asked.

Izzy waved her finger to Bridgette. "That wouldn't have been fair, and besides, this is way more fun!" Izzy pointed to Walter. "Except for lazy bones over there."

"I'm not lazy," Walter said. "I just know it won't matter what I'm left with, that's all."

"Sure," Izzy said, grinning, then turning back to the camera. "What are these contestants going to choose? Which team will win? Which team will lose? Will it be Danielle? Does everyone else hope it's Danielle?" Izzy shrugged. "Probably, but we'll find out, coming up on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_


	4. Day 2, Part 2: I Can't Beat Air Man

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 4: Day 2: Part 2: I Can't Beat Air Man**

"And welcome back to _Total Drama Alphabet!" _Izzy exclaimed, doing a headstand. "As you know, since Izzy likes her exposition, the twenty-six contestants-"

"Twenty-five," Bridgette said, standing next to Izzy. "The other one isn't here yet."

"Oh yes, silly me," Izzy said, flipping over to stand normally. "But we do have our twenty-five contestants searching for twenty of our classic contestants, dressed as robot masters, followed by a fight to the death!" Izzy made a dramatic gesture, raising her hand.

"Heather isn't here, you know," Bridgette said. "So there's only nineteen of us as these… these, what did you call us?"

"Robot masters, and no, I didn't forget that," Izzy said, putting on a red suit, and a helmet with a boomerang on it. "I'm joining the fun!" Izzy shifted her eyes back and forth. "I'd better be quick about it, though!" Izzy looked at Bridgette, who didn't react. "You know, quick? I'd better be quick, 'cause I'm Quick Man?"

"So, when can I get one of those boxes, anyway?" Danielle asked, standing nearby as well.

"Oh yeah, forgot about you," Izzy said, yawning. "I was kind of hoping you might lose, because I don't really like you, but fine, go get your weapon. Izzy isn't that mean." Izzy leapt away, toward the forest.

Danielle shrugged, then headed for the crate. "A lot of girls are jealous of me, you know."

"You don't say," Bridgette said, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Being so perfect is a curse, you know," Danielle said, looking at one of the weapons boxes. "Actually, I guess you wouldn't know, but trust me, it is."

"Do you honestly believe this?" Bridgette asked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Danielle asked, blinking.

"No reason," Bridgette said. "I don't know, maybe Courtney could-"

"She said she was going to talk to me today, but she blew me off," Danielle said, grumbling. "Do quick boomerangs have anything to do with Quick Man?"

"I have no idea," Bridgette said, a bit confused, then shook her head. "Look, I think you're more than a little confused, but if you don't want to lose, you'd probably better go out and find those… us, whatever Izzy called us, to fight."

"You're not one, are you?" Danielle asked.

"If I am, Izzy didn't tell me," Bridgette said, chuckling to herself.

Danielle smiled. "Thank you for your help, anyway!" Danielle skipped off toward the forest, while Bridgette scratched her head.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I don't remember helping her… or even pretending I liked her. Is she really that clueless?

* * *

"Yes… yah, aw," Xuxa exclaimed, playing a handheld game, walking through the forest with her teammates.

"Seriously, concentrate!" Rachel shouted, getting irritated. "We have to be on the lookout for these robot masters. Stop playing that game!"

"I'll put it away when we're fighting," Xuxa said. "This is fun! Lots of cute, shmexy guys!"

"Please don't use that word," Rachel said. "It's not even a real word!"

Xuxa glared at Rachel, then smirked. "Shmexy, shmexy, shmexy!"

"Why don't you both shut up already?" Alistair shouted, covering his ears. "I don't know how anyone can stand either one of you!"

"They're not so bad," Katrina said.

"Do you ever have a bad thought about anyone?" Alistair shouted. "You're like a creep!"

"Leave her alone!" Xuxa yelled, leaping over to Alistair, slapping his face. "She never hurt anybody!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (rubbing his cheek) How has no one killed that hideous freak yet?

Walter: That was amusing, seeing Alistair getting pwn'd by a girl. A morbidly obese girl, but a girl, still.

Katrina: Yes, bad thoughts do enter my mind. I'm human. It's inevitable. I'm just not going to let those feelings control me anymore.

* * *

"Halt!" Trent shouted, wearing a green horse bottom costume for pants. "Who goes there?"

"Team Amazon, the best team of all," Rachel said, smirking. "And you're Trent. Bad taste in girls." Rachel shook her head. "Seriously, Gwen?"

"There's nothing wrong with Gwen," Trent said, looking surprised.

"Look, Trent, not only is she a loser, but she's happy that way," Rachel said, shuddering. "Seriously, if I were a loser, I would want all the help I could get to be popular."

"Gwen doesn't care about that," Trent said. "And I'm not Trent. I'm Centaur Man."

"Trent, Centaur Man, whatever, I don't care, your girlfriend is still-ouch," Rachel said, as a holographic bullet passed through her. "That stung a little." Rachel checked her black box. "Yep. One bar missing-ouch! Two bars missing, stop that!"

"I think that's what he's supposed to do," Katrina said. "Though it's not very nice that he's singling you out."

"She's insulting my girl!" Trent shouted, shooting another shot at Rachel.

"OK, seriously getting annoying!" Rachel said, tossing a piece of plastic shaped like a metal blade toward Trent. And not coming close to hitting him. "Urgh!" she complained, stomping her foot. "How do you throw these things anyway?"

"You don't," Trent said. "I'm supposed to beat you."

"Throw it like a Frisbee," Katrina said. "That'll work!"

Rachel nodded, then threw one of the blades at Trent, hitting his arm, causing him to flinch a little. "That hurt a little," Trent said, rubbing his arm.

"That worked!" Rachel exclaimed, then narrowed her eyes and tossed more metal blades his way. "This is kind of fun!"

"Hey, stop that," Trent whined, covering his body with his hands. "Ow… ow… I think I'm dead."

"It was a pleasure battling you," Rachel said, glaring at Trent as she went to pick up her metal blades back.

"Um, you're not allowed to do that," Trent said. "You're not allowed to pick your weapon back up."

"So we can run out of weapons?" Rachel asked, blinking. "So, what do we do then?"

"I guess you lose," Trent said, unsure.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (admiring the back of her hand) Such a push over. Trent must have had to settle for Gwen since he clearly couldn't attract someone of a higher caliber.

Walter: That was pretty hot, watching Rachel take down Trent like that.

Katrina: No weapon refills? That's going to make things difficult for me. I've got to make my time stopper really count.

* * *

"**Come out, come out where ever you are!**" Ophelia screamed, wearing a tutu, as she and her team were walking through the forest. "**Come out, come out where ever you are!**"

"Would you stop that!" Leanne yelled. "You're going to attract unwanted attention!"

"But we can't win if we don't fight those dastardly robots, silly!" Ophelia exclaimed, messing up Leanne's hair.

"And stop touching me!" Leanne yelled.

Ophelia tapped her chin, then smirked and started pulling on his hair. "Nah, I'll keep it up!"

"I will sue you if you don't stop this instant!" Leanne yelled.

"Maybe you should just leave him alone," Candice said. "If he's going to be a Grumpy Gus-"

"I do **not **need some disgusting slut defending me!" Leanne yelled, practically popping a vain.

"Really, doesn't she ever stop complaining?" George asked, a bit irritated.

"**I am not a girl!**" Leanne screamed. "I will sue for defamation if you don't stop that this instant!"

"I don't think that's how defamation works," Candice said, a bit confused.

"You're a stupid slut who doesn't know anything!" Leanne yelled.

Ophelia glomped Candice, taking her by shock. "But she's our stupid slut who doesn't know anything!" Ophelia kissed Candice on the cheek, making her clearly uncomfortable, leaving Ophelia confused. "I thought you'd like that, being a slut and stuff. Was I mistaken?"

"Yes," Candice said. "Sort of… can we talk about it later?"

"Of course," Ophelia said, hugging Candice more gently. "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

"And let's ignore the other person you've made uncomfortable," Leanne said, gnashing his teeth.

"She's nice," Ophelia said, glaring at Leanne. "You're a poopy-head." Ophelia stuck her tongue out at Leanne.

"Baa! Baa!" Beth exclaimed, approaching Team Himalayas. "I am the evil Sheep Man! Mwahaha!"

"Aww, you sound so cute!" Ophelia exclaimed, going over to pinch Beth's cheek, and received a mild shock. "Ow, what was that? Ooh, I get it, static electric shock, since you're a sheep, and all-ow!"

"You aren't supposed to touch the enemy," Candice said. "You're probably losing life."

Ophelia took a look at her life meter. "Oh yeah, that makes sense, so…" Ophelia trailed off, looked at Leanne, and threw him to Ophelia.

"What was-ow-that for-ow!" Leanne yelled.

"You might want to get off of me," Beth said, unsure.

"How about you get your lazy butt out from under-ow-me?" Leanne yelled. "You've got legs! Use them!"

"I'm supposed to kill you, you know," Beth said, irritated. "You're making it kind of easy."

"Ooh, ooh, I can help kill him faster!" Ophelia exclaimed. "Pirouette attack!" Ophelia leapt and twirled in the air, rubbing against Leanne. "Ha ha, take that! Feel my body rubbing against yours!"

"**Stop that!**" Leanne yelled. "Ow! Ack-what's this thing doing?"

"That means you're dead, silly," Ophelia said, smiling bright, pointing to Leanne's life meter box, noisily going haywire. "Ding dong, the witch is dead!"

"I'm a man!" Leanne yelled.

"Then act like one!" George yelled, rubbing his forehead. "Really, do you ever shut up?"

"Does she ever shut up?" Leanne yelled, pointing to Ophelia.

"You're just jealous cause I'm prettier than you!" Ophelia said condescendingly to Leanne, pinching both his cheeks.

"**Don't touch me!**" Leanne yelled.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (standing on her head) Really, what's her problem?

Isis: Beth really didn't put up much of a fight. All quiver in fear of the shadow blade! Mwahaha… I love the evil laugh! It's just kind of fun, you know?

Danielle: I really hate to do something mean, but if I want to stay in the game, I don't know if I have any choice. Team Himalayas seemed to have a lot of infighting, and I feel really bad that I need to encourage it, but my survival depends on it. I'm so sorry! It really isn't like me at all!

* * *

"This is not a very intellectual challenge," Stephanie complained, walking through the woods with the rest of Team Moon. "Why do we have to go traveling randomly throughout this forest?"

"Why do we do anything?" Veronica asked. "We all just die anyway. Not a lot of point to any of this."

"Why did we invite Miss-Likes-to-Complain along with us again?" Stephanie grumbled.

"We're teammates," Hank answered, irritated. "We're supposed to fight the robot masters as a team, remember?"

"And how does this better ourselves as people, exactly?" Stephanie asked.

"Getting in touch with nature," Jennie said, not sounding particularly happy. "We're surrounded by nature. Like the squirrels up in that tree." Jennie glared at Stephanie, then yelled, pointing at the squirrels. "They're cute! Admire them!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

A squirrel is sitting in the chair in the room, and holds up a piece of paper with a capital J on it. The squirrel then angrily tears up the paper.

* * *

"I kind of like being out here," Elizabeth said, looking around, with her hands in her pockets. "It just feels kind of nice."

"See?" Jennie yelled, inching toward Stephanie. "She gets it!"

"And I'm sure I could trust the opinion of such an upstanding citizen as herself," Stephanie said, glaring back at Jennie.

"I, for one, see her as a worthy rival," Todd boasted, flaunting his hand over his chest. "Maybe one day, I too could be a murderer."

"That makes me feel better," Stephanie said, rolling her eyes.

"Please," Todd said, brushing her off. "You aren't worth the time to even think about a deathtrap."

"One day, when I'm in charge of all the free world-" Stephanie started, but stopped herself. "Wait, why am I encouraging you to off me, again?"

"Offing you is my job," DJ said, up ahead, looking nervous. "I'm… Scissors Man, I think?" DJ weakly opened and closed a pair of scissors in front of him. "Take that!"

Veronica casually threw a wool sheet over DJ's way. She and DJ both looked confused by it. "You know, I'm not really sure what that was supposed to do."

"Apparently nothing," Elizabeth said, smirking to DJ. "Hi big boy."

DJ screamed like a little girl. "OK, OK, you win, just don't hurt me!" DJ shouted, cowering in a ball on the ground.

"Weren't we supposed to battle?" Elizabeth asked, confused.

"No, no, it's OK, just go, and let me live in real life!" DJ shouted, taking the wool sheet and rubbing it over his body. "See, I can do myself in, really!"

Elizabeth shrugged, and continued on, with most of Team Moon following. Except for Jennie, who looked disgusted, and smacked DJ's face.

"Ow, what was that for?" DJ whined, rubbing his face.

"Treating Elizabeth like a murderer, maybe?" Jennie asked, with her hands on her hips. "Seriously, I expected better from you." Jennie reached behind her back to hand DJ a pamphlet. "And I know as much as you love nature, you might enjoy giving this a read. I only wish you could appreciate your fellow person as much."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

DJ: Seriously, Elizabeth killed someone for real! Of course I'm terrified of her! I don't want to get on her bad side. (DJ picks up the pamphlet.) And this is hard! I care about animals too, but this seems a bit on the extreme side.

* * *

"This is stupid!" Leanne shouted, walking along with his teammates. "I've already lost. Why are we still doing this?"

"No one is making you follow us, white girl," Isis said, glaring at him. "I wish you'd go away."

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Ophelia asked, grabbing Leanne's cheeks, playing with them. "We're all having a good time, except you for some reason. Cheer up!" Ophelia put a silver star sticker on Leanne's forehead. "Now you get to be happy!"

"What did you-get that off of me!" Leanne yelled. "I don't want a stupid sticker on my forehead!"

"Tsk, tsk," Ophelia went, shaking her head, as she ripped the sticker off his forehead, causing Leanne to scream.

"What did-what the hell was that?" Leanne yelled.

"Strong glue," Ophelia said. "Wouldn't want these things to peel off by accident, right?" Ophelia stuck a frowny face sticker on Leanne's forehead. "I think that one works better."

"I am suing you after I get off this show!" Leanne yelled.

Ophelia waved her hand dismissively. "You already said that eighteen times today."

"I think I'll sue him eighteen times for being a privileged white girl," Isis said, irritated.

"I am a man!" Leanne yelled, stomping his foot.

"Bob's confused," Bob said. "Bob can't remember if you're a guy or a girl."

"Leanne, you know you're only encouraging Ophelia by overreacting," George said. "Hard for me to blame her much, really."

"That's it!" Leanne yelled, running over to George, pushing him down. "This ends now!"

Isis blinked. "Did… did she just push down a blind guy?"

"Seriously, this ends now!" Candice yelled, rushing over to lift Leanne off the ground, helpless.

"Let go of me!" Leanne yelled. "I will sue you for everything you have!"

"I don't have anything," Candice grumbled. "Go ahead and-ow! Did you just bite me?"

"I said let go, you slut!" Leanne barked, biting Candice a second time.

"That tears it!" Candice yelled, humming Leanne straight into a tree head first, knocking him out cold.

"Wow, that was pretty hardcore!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Candice. "You so gotta' teach me that sometime!"

"Watch it," Isis said. "You'll get her slut germs if you touch her."

Ophelia blinked. "That sounds fun, give me your slut germs!" Candice sighed.

"Courtney gave me some of those," Duncan said, smirking, standing nearby. "Pretty fun, really, but it's time for you all to lose! Napalm Man is here to put and end to your game!" Duncan noticed George getting up from the ground, and started tossing napalm bombs at him. "What'cha gonna' do? Blind me to death?"

"Shadow blades, go!" Isis declared, shooting them toward Duncan.

Candice took aim before Duncan. "Quick boomerang-"

"We don't need your help," Isis said, disgustedly looking to Candice, who rolled her eyes, then started shooting at Duncan.

"I can toss these at you too, you know," Duncan said, tossing more bombs toward Candice and Isis, though Duncan's life hit zero before anyone else's did. "OK, guess I lost."

"We did it!" Candice exclaimed, holding her hand toward Isis as if waiting for a high five.

"I don't think so," Isis said, glaring at her.

"Aww, I'll love you!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Candice. "I don't want you to feel lonely."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: I mean, I'm sure Candice is never really lonely. Well, except for here, since no one really likes her here. It's almost like being a slut is a bad thing, or something. (Ophelia shakes her head.) I just don't get it.

Candice: (sighing) I know Ophelia means well, but I really wish she'd stop using that word. It kind of makes me uncomfortable. I'm really not… that anymore.

* * *

"Stop right there!" Justin shouted, as he leapt before Team Amazon, with a pointy metal blade attacked to his forehead. "You must perish before me!"

"Wasn't he mean to Beth?" Katrina asked, nervous.

"Don't know, don't care," Rachel said, as she chucked one of the plastic metal blades toward Justin.

"My face!" Justin yelled, rubbing his cheek. "My… what? Why am I dead already? You only hit me once!"

"Whoops!" Rachel said, feigning surprise, waving her hands in front of her. "Guess I messed up." Rachel shrugged. "Oh well." Rachel hurried in front of Frederique and batted her eyelashes. "That was pretty impressive, wasn't it?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Frederique: I'm not really sure why Rachel keeps bugging me. Wish she'd just leave me alone. She's not that pleasant to be around.

Xuxa: Why does Rachel keep trying to steal my man! I totally would've saw him first if I was the first one on the island, and she was the twenty-fourth one!

* * *

Danielle was creeping behind Team Himalayas as they continued forth, quietly, before tripping over a stick on the ground. Danielle quickly covered her mouth and hurried off.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (shaking a fist) Curse you, clumsiness! My one and only flaw… I don't think I was discovered, at least.

* * *

"Why is she following us, anyway?" Isis asked, narrowing her eyes toward the bushes.

Ophelia pushed Leanne to the ground. "Yeah, why are you following us? Just go away already!"

"I'm on your pathetic little team, moron!" Leanne yelled.

"Not for long," Ophelia muttered, rolling her eyes.

Leanne gasped, then narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?"

Ophelia grabbed Leanne's ear and put her mouth right up to it. "**We're voting you off!**"

"You're almost as bad as Danielle," Isis said, glaring at Leanne, who was hitting his ear. "I meant that I heard someone else following us, though."

"Yes, I heard her," George said, uncomfortable. "No idea who she was, though."

"She?" Isis asked, curious.

"Well… she, or he, I don't know," George said, wiping his forehead. "Say, we'd better keep our eyes peeled.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: Danielle was following us. I know not everyone on the team gets along with her, but I'm not really sure why. She seems so perfect. Except apparently a little clumsy, it sounded like. Hey, I can get behind clumsiness. (George points to his sunglasses.) Comes with the territory.

Isis: You know, it occurs to me that George doesn't know what I look like. If there was ever a white guy I'd be willing to give a chance for, it'd be one who could at least get to know me before thinking anything bad about me. (Isis hugs herself.) It'd be so sweet!

* * *

"Be prepared to be choo-choo'd out!" Leshawna boasted to Team Himalayas, wearing a train smokestack on her head, and pulled out a script. "Choo-choo'd out? Why the hell did Izzy think that'd be funny?"

"Choo-choo'd out!" Ophelia exclaimed, then fell to the ground, laughing hysterically. "That's so hilarious!" Ophelia hit her hand repeatedly against the ground.

"No, it really wasn't that funny," Isis said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Don't you get it?" Ophelia asked, picking herself up from the ground. "She meant be prepared to be chewed out, like with chewing with her mouth, but she made it into a pun, since she's like a train robot, and trains go choo-choo… it's genius!"

"I understood the joke," Isis said, looking a bit uncomfortable as Ophelia glomped her. "It just wasn't funny."

"Because you're somewhat normal!" Leanne complained. "Ophelia is broken!"

Leshawna looked confused, then fired a flare gun-type thing into the air. "I'd aim for that guy if I knew how to aim this thing." Leshawna looked up, irritated. "Do those stupid things ever come back down? What sort of stupid weapon is that?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: Charge at us. Did Izzy forget to explain who these guys were that they were all dressed up as?

Izzy: (with her head hung in shame) Yeah, I kind of forgot. I spent all night on the choo-choo joke, though, and thank you, Ophelia, I'm glad **someone **appreciated it.

* * *

"No, no, wait!" Ezekiel cried out, dressed as a flower, waving his hand in front of his face as he was being pelted by Rachel with her metal blades. "I'm supposed to have a shield, eh?"

"Doesn't look like you're using it," Rachel stated calmly, and yawned as she continued to throw more metal blades at him.

"Frederique, look how good Rachel's doing against Plant Man, excitedly pointing out the exact direction he was already looking.

"Nice," Frederique said, uncomfortable.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: I could've owned him, too! It's just my time stopper didn't really work against him… what's the point of it if it doesn't stop anyone?

Izzy: (sniffles) A valiant effort, my good man. And you're quite sexy as a flower! Reow! (Izzy claws at the camera.)

* * *

"That was a tough one," Ophelia said, feeling worn. "We lost Ulysses in that battle. Just had the worst luck with those falling flares, didn't he?" Ophelia put her hand over her heart. "You were a brave soldier. May you rest in piece."

"We were there!" Leanne yelled. "Why are you telling this to us?"

"I like narrating my life sometimes," Ophelia said, then smirked. "While we were walking through the woods, Leanne yelled at me for the hundred and seventy-fourth time to shut up!"

"Ulysses went back to Izzy and Bridgette to wait," Isis grumbled. "Why don't you?"

"You pathetic slobs need me!" Leanne yelled.

"No, we really don't," Ophelia said. "I don't think anyone here even likes you."

"I'm starting to prefer Danielle, even," Isis said, massaging her forehead.

"I like Danielle more," George said excitedly. Isis looked at him like he had two heads.

"Bob likes everyone!" Bob exclaimed, then looked down. "Though Bob does like Leanne a little less than his other teammates."

"Hello?" Eva asked, standing in front of them, holding a large rock. "Does anyone see me?"

"We can totally win without your 'moral support,'" Ophelia said, using finger quotes toward Leanne. "We'd probably even do better without you distracting us."

"You can't win without me!" Leanne shouted. "I'm important to this team!"

"I'm ready to fight," Eva said, rubbing her forehead with her free hand, when she noticed she was hit by a pink cloud. Eva turned around and saw Candice, with a large, holographic pink cloud over her head.

"It's a good thing we have Leanne on our team," George said. "Just think, without him, we'd all be arguing like cats and dogs."

"Cats are so cute, aren't they?" Isis asked, beaming, hugging herself. They're so cute, and graceful-"

"And evil!" Ophelia exclaimed. "I love how they want to take over the world, and one day, they're totally gonna' succeed with that."

"Seriously, are you completely brain-dead?" Leanne yelled.

"Yes," Ophelia said. "I'm completely brain-dead, so you can shut up about that already, since I'm agreeing."

"You didn't mean that!" Leanne yelled.

"Um, duh," Ophelia said, with her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes.

"Quit running away!" Eva shouted, trying to find Candice, though she found her after a pink cloud shot hit her, and Eva threw a boulder at Candice, taking her out the game, though not before Candice fired a charged shot at Eva, taking her out, too. "Great. Just great… I couldn't even win when fighting just one of you."

"You did good," Candice said, lifting the boulder surprisingly easily off of her body, and walking over to extend her hand to Eva. "You put up a good fight."

Eva looked at Candice's hand, then Candice's body, then Candice's hand again and shrugged, giving a strong handshake. "Thanks."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I thought I heard Eva back there, but she never attacked us. Not sure I entirely understand the challenge.

* * *

Geoff spun spinning tops at the members of Team Amazon. "Beware my spinning tops of doom! My-aw, man!" Rachel looked triumphant.

"Are the rest of us ever going to get a chance to do something?" Percy asked

"I never much cared for her weapon," Walter said. "Too cheap for a real player to use."

"Lighten up, we're winning!" Katrina exclaimed. "Be happy for that!"

"We don't know we're winning," Alistair said. "We don't know how well the other teams are doing."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (filing her nails) Yep, yep yep. Xuxa doesn't stand much of a chance. Frederique is **so **mine.

Xuxa: Yeah, we're winning. I'm not that excited about it, though. It's just an excuse for Rachel to show off, and make Frederique fall in love with her. Urgh! I can't allow that! He needs to notice me!

* * *

"What are you going to buy?" Sadie asked to Katie, both of them wearing a light blue outfit with a spiky hat.

"Noah likes books," Katie said, tapping her chin. "Maybe he'd like one of those Kindle things. Those are book-like, right?"

"What do those do, anyway?" Sadie asked, confused.

Katie shrugged. "I have no idea. I-ooh, I see someone!"

"Is it one of the contestants?" Sadie asked. "Should we attack?"

"Um, yeah," Katie said, and the two excitedly looked at the contestant. "Now's our chance! This is going to be so much fun!"

"I know!" Sadie exclaimed, and after, the two girls squeed together. The lone contestant seemed to hear them, though, and hurried off.

"She spotted us!" Katie yelled. "She's getting away!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: That did not quite go as planned, so I went with plan B: lead the irritating so-called twins to Team Himalayas. Hopefully take them out. And… well….

* * *

"Watch where you're going!" Isis yelled, after Danielle crashed into her, knocking them both to the ground.

"You watch where you're going!" Danielle yelled back, picking herself up off the ground, then ran off.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (with an innocent smile, twiddling her fingers) Yeah, I guess I didn't have to bowl Isis over like that, but come on! She totally deserved it!

Ophelia: (sniffles) I feel so left out. I wish Danielle would've knocked me down instead, 'cause that would've been awesome! I don't think Isis appreciated it as much as I would've.

George: It would've been better if Danielle had knocked Leanne down instead, really.

* * *

"I really don't like that-hey!" Isis shouted, as she picked herself up.

"Good shot, Sadie!" Katie exclaimed.

"Oh, I know, I totally got her!" Sadie exclaimed, and the two girls glomped each other and squeed.

"Wait, that's not fair, there's two of you!" Isis shouted. "You can't fight us both at the same time!"

"Technically, we count as one boss," Katie said. "Izzy said we're Gemini Man. I guess that's like the Zodiac thing, since we're like twins, even though we're not really twins."

"Some people mistake us for fraternal twins," Sadie said, shrugging. "It happens."

"So we're both Gemini Man," Katie said. "I think Izzy said we share a life meter, though."

"Well, to make it more fair, anyway," Sadie said. Isis blinked, and shot a fake shadow blade at Sadie. "Hey, what was that for? I wasn't ready!"

"Yeah," Katie agreed, "Sadie totally wasn't ready! That wasn't very nice."

"I know, that's like, cheating, or-ow!" Sadie complained, as she was hit with another shadow blade.

"Quit whining and fight us!" Isis shouted.

"Spin of death! Spin of death!" Ophelia exclaimed, twirling her way into the Gemini Mans.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Sadie: Really, attacking us before we were ready? So totally against the spirit of the game.  
Katie: Totally. Whatever happened to chivalry when fighting.  
Noah: At least you had a fighting chance. I only wish Izzy would've told me which team had… that weapon. Could've avoided that team.  
Katie: It's really nice how roomy this place is, we can all fit in here easy! (Katie smiles at Sadie.) And now, could you please leave Sadie?  
Noah: (eyes gone wide open) It's OK, Sadie, you can stay!  
Sadie: (smirking) Oh, I know what Katie wants to do… sort of. I'll leave you two alone.  
Noah: Really, Sadie, I don't mind your company.  
Katie: (making a pouty face) Aww, c'mon, Noah. We haven't made out yet all season.  
Noah: Why don't we just go back to our rooms?  
Katie: Oh yeah, forgot about that. So used to last season. (Katie giggles.)

* * *

Candice was walking through the forest, making her way back to their housing, back to Izzy and Bridgette, and stopped to smell a pretty blue flower. "Aren't you pretty?" Candice asked, smiling bright, then pat it on its 'head.' "Grow up good."

"Candi, just the person I wanted to see!" Danielle exclaimed, rushing up to her. "How are you doing, Candi?"

"Going back to Izzy and Bridgette," Candice said, irritated. "And don't call me Candi."

"OK, OK, Candice it is," Danielle said. "No reason to panic."

"I ain't panicking," Candice said.

"Look, you did good, that fight against Eva," Danielle said. "You put up a good fight."

"Thank you," Candice said, looking annoyed. "Can't you find someone else to offend?"

Danielle started crying, and wiped a tear from her eye. "I'm trying to be nice. Why do so many people seem to hate me?"

Candice gulped, and looked guilty. "Look, I didn't-I'm sorry, OK? It's just… well, you're kind of mean."

"I'm not mean, though," Danielle said. "I'm nice. I'm like the nicest person I know!"

"OK…" Candice said, uncomfortable.

"Everyone's mean to you as well, just for being a slut," Danielle said.

"I thought you said you were nice," Candice said, glaring at Danielle.

"I… did I say something inaccurate?" Danielle asked, confused.

Candice sighed. "I'm not a slut. Well, not anymore."

"You look like one," Danielle said, smirking.

"Can you please leave me alone?" Candice asked, getting angry. "You obviously don't care about me. You're just trying to make yourself feel good by trying to pull me down." Candice hurried off, leaving Danielle behind.

"I'm not doing that!" Danielle said, worried. "I don't… I'm nice!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: That did not go well. Really, I don't get it. She's a pathetic slut who no one likes, I reached out my hand to help her, and she just turned away like that? She needs me! She's not going to get far in life if she keeps up that kind of attitude. (Danielle shakes her head.) It's no wonder people don't like sluts. It's sad, really.

Candice: (sitting with her knees up to her head, crying)

* * *

"These aren't hurting him!" Rachel yelled, looking in fear upon Noah, wearing the Pharaoh's nemes.

"All bow to the mighty Pharaoh Man!" Noah proclaimed, then took a pink shot at Frederique. "I do believe he is out."

"No!" Rachel cried out, running to Frederique's side, hugging him. "My poor Frederique."

"I'm just out of the game," Frederique said.

"Bow down to… you have that?" Noah shouted, looking at Xuxa, fearful of her stopwatch.

"Does this actually work on you?" Xuxa asked, pressing it, and noticed Noah frozen in place. "It does! It worked! It… hey, I can shoot at him while he's frozen!"

"Guess I know who had the time stopper," Noah said, then sighed. "I'm not going to win this, am I?"

"Nope," Xuxa said, smirking. "Frederique, are you watching me?"

"He left," Rachel said, looking smug. "Pity he couldn't watch you take down Noah." Xuxa growled at Rachel.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (sipping on an iced tea) Pity that Frederique had to lose right before watching Xuxa take down Noah. I suppose it was just meant to be.

Xuxa: I could strangle that girl. Just… urgh! It's just not fair! I deserve a chance for him to notice me! I just know he'd fall in love with me if Rachel would stop getting in our love's way!

Walter: I think Noah took Zack down in that battle, as well as Frederique. No one seemed to notice Zack went down, though. Not that I really care, but it was amusing watching Rachel and Xuxa arguing over Frederique.

* * *

Danielle was jumping rope through the forest, humming the _Total Drama _theme song, when a wild Toad Man appeared.

"Face the wrath of the Toad Man!" Tyler exclaimed, wearing a frog… err, toad costume. "Beware my deadly rain dance!" Danielle yawned, then quickly tossed a lot of pink plastic boomerangs at him. "Ow, hey, stop that! Let me do my dance… ow! Stop that so I can do my deadly rain dance-hey, let me dance already!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Tyler: Oh, come on! I had this super deadly rain dance, and she just kept hitting me, and wouldn't let me finish the dance! I so would've won if she would've let me spread my deadly rain!

Danielle: (rolling her eyes) OK, seriously, stop whining, Tyler. Why was I supposed to give you a chance to attack me, anyway?

* * *

"All right, you… contestant people!" Lindsay yelled, leaping before most of Team Himalayas, wearing a large diamond on her head, and surrounding herself with floating diamond things. "I'm Jem Woman, and I'm going to kick your butts!" Lindsay waved to everyone while smiling bright.

"This won't take long," Isis said, while cracking her knuckles.

"Aren't my gemstones, like, so pretty?" Lindsay asked, poking the occasional gem spinning around her body. "I wish I knew how Izzy got these things to float like this."

"I think I can win this one with my eyes closed," George said, with his body turned toward Lindsay.

"But aren't you blind?" Bob asked, confused. "I don't think that'll make a difference."

"That was kind of the joke," George said. "Let's see what this bubble shield does, anyway." George pushed a button, making holographic bubbles appear around him. "Nothing, it seems."

"Pretty bubbles," Bob said, looking at the bubbles as if he were in a trance. Lindsay noticed, then smirked, heading toward Bob, attacking him with the jewels as Bob was still in his trance.

"Bob, snap out of it!" Isis yelled, slapping her face.

"The bubbles are pretty," Ophelia said, watching the bubbles in awe.

"Not you too," Isis said, shaking Ophelia to snap her out of it. "Look, I know they're pretty, but we need to take this girl down!"

"Oh, yeah," Ophelia said, with a guilty smile, then turned toward Lindsay. "Ballerina attack!"

"That's not what it's call, you know," Isis said, then shook her head out of it. "Shadow blade-ow, that jewel attacked back!"

"You're all absolutely pathetic, you know that," Leanne complained. Ophelia turned her attention to Leanne, spinning into him.

"Whoops, sor… wait, no, I'm not really sorry, I meant to do that," Ophelia said, glaring at Leanne.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: Lindsay put up more of a fight than I thought she would. Bob and Yancy are out now, too. We've already defeated seven of these robot masters, so if my math is right, we can't lose now! Ophelia, George, and me can rest easy. Well, aside from Leanne bugging us all. And maybe Danielle, who's intent on making my life miserable, for some reason.

Ophelia: (Ophelia is making snot bubbles come out of her nose for the camera.) Cool trick, huh? (Ophelia takes out a milk carton.) Now watch what I can do when I pour this up my nose!

* * *

"Hey, Elizabeth," Gwen said, smiling, wearing a skull helmet. "I hope you win your trial."

"Thanks, I guess," Elizabeth said, unsure, standing with the rest of her Team Moon teammates.

"Really, it's fascinating, reading up on your case," Gwen said. "It's really wrong how-"

"Could we please not talk about that now," Elizabeth said, rubbing her arm nervously.

"OK," Gwen said, then smirked. "You all know I'm supposed to fight you."

"I give up, you win," Veronica said, putting her arms in front of her as if she was expecting handcuffs.

"I'm more evil than Elizabeth is," Todd said, wiggling his eyebrows. "You ought to read up on all my hijinks."

Gwen blinked. "I have no idea who you are. But eat this!" Gwen shot holographic bullets at Todd.

"I've been hit! I'm going down!" Todd exclaimed, a bit too excited. "Tell my parents not to touch my stuff." Todd collapsed to the ground dramatically.

"You still have life left," Hank said, confused.

Todd picked himself off the ground. "I wanted to do that in case the opportunity never arose later."

"Shoot her!" Stephanie yelled, pulling her hair in frustration, then started shooting holographic tridents at Gwen, which were going through a skull barrier she had around herself.

"Wait, those aren't supposed to go through when I'm using this," Gwen said, blinking. "Izzy, you screwed up the programming!"

"Why are you attacking Gwen?" Todd asked, nervous.

"That's the point of this challenge!" Stephanie yelled, shooting at Gwen, who was trying to get away. "You're supposed to shoot her!"

"You can't make me," Todd said, sticking his nose into the air.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (with her arms crossed over her chest) Well that was annoying. Surrounded by idiots who don't want to get anything done! Hooray for my team. Whoo hoo. (Stephanie rolls her eyes.)

Todd: Taking down villains is something heroes do. (Todd gags.)

* * *

"Stand still!" Isis yelled. "Why are you moving around like that?"

"Because my superior skills will be the end of you," Courtney said, smirking, wearing a hat with a large spike on her head, shooting tons of holographic spikes around.

"We've already beat enough of you to win!" Isis yelled. "We just want to go back and claim victory!"

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that," Courtney said, pegging Isis with more plastic needles, draining her life meter.

"I need to win!" Isis shouted, throwing more shadow blades at Courtney. "Come on, come on, come… oh, come on! I'm out?"

"I'm sorry I have to do this," Courtney said. "It's just part of the game. You understand." Isis was running around, but Courtney followed close, jumping around, and got her out.

"I don't even know how to shoot this thing," George said, activating his bubble shield again.

"Like this!" Ophelia exclaimed, coming from nowhere, to throw George at Courtney.

Courtney blinked in confusion. "You threw him at me? That's… that took off a lot of life, actually, but it won't do any good if I take him out!"

"Or I can activate it again!" George said, while Courtney was still right there. "And again and again and again!"

"Urgh!" Courtney complained, stomping her foot. "That's not fair, not giving me a chance to do anything." Courtney sighed. "Fine. You win. And you got it through cheapness. I hope you're happy."

Ophelia glomped Courtney, beaming. "Really happy, thank you!"

"That was pathetic," Leanne complained, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You are going to leave them alone, and come with me," Isis said, exasperated, dragging Leanne behind her. Isis then turned around, smiling. "Good luck, you two!"

"We don't need luck," Ophelia said, saluting Isis. "We've got George!" Ophelia looked at George and grinned, then threw him at a nearby tree. "Watch out for that tree!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (looking guilty, twiddling her fingers) Yeah, I'm not sure George got the joke. And he seemed a little bit hurt by it. Like, physical hurt, not emotional hurt. I went a little overboard there, huh?

Leanne: How anyone can stand that horrid woman I have no idea!

* * *

"Ow, come on, ow, give a guy a break!" Owen complained, getting pelted with Danielle's boomerangs. "How many of those things do you have?"

"Enough," Danielle said, smirking. "Don't you have a weapon for me to dodge, or something?"

"Oh yeah," Owen said, as he threw a blue boxing glove at Danielle. Except it was barely thrown three feet in front of him. "Aw, man."

Danielle yawned a dramatic yawn. "Please, Owen, you're making this too easy."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Owen: Yeah, I just went easy on Danielle because she's really pretty, and I was thinking, maybe, since I'm single, that maybe she'd be interested in a guy like me. She seemed interested in me when I had to use the bathroom last night. I just wish I could be sure. And it really is why I went easy on her, too! I'm not just making it up as an excuse since she beat me. And besides, I really do think she's pretty, even if I was just using it as an excuse. Which I'm totally not!

* * *

"I do not much care for your style of play," Walter said, glaring at Cody. "Izzy said that each hit only removed one bar of energy."

"Well, you've been defeated now," Cody said. "I actually talked to Izzy about upping the damage for-I see you!" Cody zapped three lightning bolts toward Alistair, sneaking up from behind.

"OK, how am I out?" Alistair yelled. "I still had nine bars of energy left!"

"Let's see," Cody said, counting on his fingers. "The ladies are the only ones remaining, right?"

"Except for you, but not for long!" Rachel exclaimed, tossing metal blades at Cody. He'd dodged several, but still got hit by many, and she was expertly dodging his lightning bolts.

"You're pretty good at this," Cody said. "I'm pretty impressed."

"Thank you," Rachel said. "You're still going down, though." Rachel threw one last metal blade at Cody, which defeated him. "And FYI, you really should stop chasing Gwen. You're too good for her."

"I already have a girlfriend," Cody said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Wait," Rachel said, her eyes going wide. "You thought I was-eww, no!" Rachel reeled back in disgust. "I said you were too good for Gwen. That doesn't mean you're good enough for me."

"I think Cody's cute," Xuxa said, smiling and waving at Cody.

"Then go after him and leave Frederique alone! God!" Rachel shouted, clenching her fists.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: I know Cody loves me, but my eye is on Frederique, and I don't think he'd appreciate it if I started hitting on Cody in front of him. Don't worry, Frederique! I'll behave… for you! (Xuxa blows a kiss and winks for the camera.)

Cody: I'm not sure anyone was paying attention to when I mentioned already having a girlfriend.

* * *

Ophelia was carrying George around in a headlock as she was talking to him. "It's down to just you and me. If we can find our way out, we'll have it made, what with… seventy billion wins, I think?" Ophelia shrugged. "I lost count somewhere."

"It's kind of hard to breathe," George said.

"Yeah, I know, the air quality here is surprisingly bad," Ophelia said. "I mean, I guess it's not that surprising, since we're not really on an island, and civilization isn't that far from here, but still, it has the feel of a deserted island, you know?"

"Uh-huh," George said, not really listening to Ophelia, but then he turned his head suddenly. "I think I heard something."

Ophelia looked around, then narrowed her eyes, and put her hand in front of George. "I think you're right." Ophelia looked around, then started climbing a tree, but was quickly knocked down by a boomerang. "Quick Man," Ophelia muttered. "I know you're up there!"

Izzy leapt down and charged right at Ophelia, but Ophelia jumped out of the way. But Izzy pelted George with boomerangs before George even realized what was happening, and before he knew it, his life meter was sounding the 'you're dead' alarm. Izzy then turned to Ophelia. "And then there was one."

Ophelia narrowed her eyes, and motioned for Izzy to come to her. "Bring it on."

Izzy sped up to Ophelia, but Ophelia leapt out of the way, and twirled into her. "Hey, you actually hit me," Izzy said, rubbing her arm, then smiled. "Not bad, young Padawan."

"Take that back!" Ophelia shouted, trying to twirl into Izzy again, though she'd leapt away first. "I am a full-fledged Jedi master!" Ophelia sped toward Izzy. "I am-whoa!" Ophelia had tripped over a large stick that suddenly appeared out from a bush. Danielle quickly came out from the bush, holding Ophelia down.

"I'm really sorry, Ophelia, but I really need you to lose," Danielle said, starting to cry a little. "If you don't lose, then I'm doomed!"

"You do know I can hear you, right?" Izzy asked.

Ophelia looked confused, but then whispered something to Danielle. Danielle looked nervous, but nodded, and went away.

Izzy blinked. "OK, mind telling me what that was about?"

"I'll tell you later, but right now, we fight!" Ophelia exclaimed, charging at Izzy.

"Now I like this attitude!" Izzy exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Urgh, Ophelia's so annoying! She has got to be one of the least enjoyable people to be around for any length of time whatsoever! (Danielle shudders, then sighs.) And thank you. (Danielle wipes a tear from her eye.) That was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me. I guess I owe it to you to tolerate you a little bit. (Danielle shudders again.)

* * *

Danielle was running off, as fast as she could, when she bumped into someone, and both fell down. "Watch where you're going!" Danielle yelled.

"You were the one who ran into me. I was just standing here. Gosh!" Harold complained as he was getting back up, with a fan on his chest. Harold smiled when he saw Danielle. "Yes! I've finally found someone with whom to commence battle."

"Eww, nerd, nerd!" Danielle cried.

"But I am not just any nerd," Harold said, waving his finger. "I am the über-nerd who will be doing away with you, for no one can beat Air Man."

Danielle blinked. "Air? Like, a little bit of wind?"

"A little bit of wind," Harold said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Hurricanes have destroyed countless lives. That's not just a little bit of wind. That's wind at a deadly force, which is what I will be using to defeat you, but don't worry, m'lady, for this will only deplete your life energy, and not cause any harm to you in-"

"Blah blah blah, let's get it started," Danielle said, taking aim.

"Tremble in fear of my wicked miniature tornado formations!" Harold exclaimed, standing on one foot, as several holographic tornadoes appeared before him.

"Yeah, that's not really doing much," Danielle said, but was quickly pushed back, getting hit by a tornado. "What was that?"

"The fan on my chest is not a mere prop, but an ultra small, ultra powerful fan, specifically made to push back any opponent I may face."

"That's cheating!" Danielle cried out.

"No, it's just that no one can defeat air man," Harold said, grinning.

"I can!" Danielle exclaimed, shooting boomerangs at Harold, though they bounced off the tornadoes. "But they're just holograms… how is that even possible?"

"Do I need to repeat it?" Harold asked, as Danielle was blown back again, hit by another tornado.

"I can do this… I can do this!" Danielle shouted, weaving through the next mini tornado maze, and hitting Harold with a few boomerangs. And she was blown back again and hit by another tornado. "I can't take many more of those."

"And then you will perish, my sweet," Harold said, still grinning.

"Eww, like, really eww," Danielle said, reeling back a bit, then running through his next maze, hitting him with a few boomerangs, and getting blown back, getting hit again.

"It looks like one more hit and you will be done for," Harold said, shooting another tornado formation maze.

"That won't be happening," Danielle said, as she weaved through another tornado maze, shooting more boomerangs at Harold, and was blown back again, but this time, Danielle had weaved around the tornadoes upon being blown backward.

"Impressive," Harold said.

Danielle had weaved through another tornado maze, hit Harold a few times, and was blown back again, again dodging the tornadoes on the way back. "Enough!" Danielle screamed, firing like mad at Harold after getting through another maze, and bringing him down.

Harold knelt to the ground, looking as if he were pleading for mercy. "You have done well, my sweet, and done the impossible task of beating Air Man."

"Eww, stop calling me that!" Danielle shouted, reeling back.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (wiping off her shirt) Eww, eww, Harold germs, eww!

* * *

"I'm betting we're about finished," Rachel said, wiping her hands together. "It's a shame your weapon was a bust, Katrina. You never really used it."

Katrina shrugged. "I had suspicions that it'd be useful in case we saw one particular robot master in particular, who we didn't see." Katrina shrugged. "Believe me, we'd be thankful for it if we ran into the right robot master."

"I know," Rachel said, smirking. "That would've come in handy if we-"

"Ha ha!" Izzy shouted, leaping down from the trees. "Prepare to-"

"Time stopper!" Katrina shouted, pressing a stopwatch. Rachel smirked, and Xuxa looked confused.

Izzy was stopped in place, looking nervous. "You know, I kind of got in a fight earlier-pretty good one too, but I already have a little less than half of my life gone, and… I'm pretty screwed here, aren't I?"

"What's so special about your time stopper, anyway?" Xuxa asked, confused. "Don't I have the same thing?"

"Katrina's is one-time-use only," Rachel said, smirking. "It's actively destroying Quick Ma'am over there, though."

"Curse you mega-ing kids!" Izzy cried out, as her alarm went off. "Guess I'm dead, you guys win, and I'm disappointed we didn't get to have an all-out brawl." Izzy shrugged. "There's always another challenge for another day, I suppose. Everyone's defeated, by the way, so might as well head back to camp." Izzy somersaulted away, and the three Amazon girls followed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: I totally don't get it. How did we beat Izzy, again? We didn't really do anything, except for Katrina freezing time. No one even shot anything at her. (Xuxa shrugs.)

Katrina: It never hurts to help. (Katrina smiles and rests her hands in her lap.)

* * *

The three teams, and Danielle, were standing before the three buildings, while Izzy paced before them, shaking her head. Bridgette looked confused. "Aren't we going to announce the winners?" Bridgette asked.

"In due time, Bridgette, in due time," Izzy said, then grew a big grin, perking up. "And it's time! Team Himalayas, you beat eight robot masters, more than any other team!"

"Please tell me you survived, Ophelia," Isis whispered, looking worried. Ophelia shrugged.

"Team Amazon, you beat seven robot masters, including yours truly," Izzy said, motioning to herself.

"Second place room, here we come!" Xuxa exclaimed, pumping her fist. "We're moving on up!"

"It's still a crappy place," Rachel said, rolling her eyes, with her hands on her hips.

"It's less crappy, at least," Xuxa said, shrugging.

"Danielle, you beat three robot masters," Izzy said. Danielle simply grinned. "Team Moon, you only beat two, fewer than anyone else."

"We couldn't find anyone!" Stephanie yelled. "That is completely unfair, and not at all our fault, and we should not have to suffer for it! Why was everyone avoiding our team?"

"I'd have liked to fight Bridgette, personally," Jennie said, glaring at Bridgette.

"I wasn't one of the fighting robot people," Bridgette said.

"Your team didn't come in last," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Team Himalayas may have beaten eight robot masters, but their team had zero survivors. Every other team, including Danielle, had at least one survivor, so in the end, Team Himalayas, you're on the chopping block tonight. See you at the elimination ceremony!" Izzy smiled bright as she waved, then rushed off, carrying Bridgette with her.

"Sucks to be you guys, ha ha!" Todd exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: You already know who I'm voting for, so I'll just say boogity boogity boo! 'Cause, you know, I always wanted to say that!

* * *

The eight members of Team Himalayas were seated around the campfire that night, nervously waiting around. Except for Ophelia, who could barely contain her excitement. Izzy walked up to the podium, with Bridgette behind her, carrying a tray of alphabet blocks, and with Danielle in tow. "Estola I esto de los nexis chispeantes ciento treinta y siete y traslated esta oración usando Babelfish, tan it' mal de s probablemente totalmente," Izzy said, in an ominous tone.

"What was that?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"It's Spanish," Izzy said, shrugging.

"Really, really bad Spanish," Danielle added.

"You don't get to talk," Izzy said, turning to Danielle, then turning back to face Team Himalayas. "You guys lost. That's nothing to be proud of. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

"Leanne's a jerk," Ophelia said, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at Leanne.

"Yeah, she kind of is," George said, 'glaring' at Candice.

"Leanne's on the other side," Candice said

"Whoops, sorry about that," George said, then turned around to 'glare' at Leanne.

"One of you will be leaving us tonight," Izzy said, continuing her ominous tone. "For this is the ceremony of death. If you leave, you die."

"Wait, you're killing one of them?" Danielle asked, a bit concerned, then smirked. "Can it be the slut?"

"No one's really dying," Bridgette said, turning to Danielle, irritated. "And it's really not nice to call anyone a slut."

"I'm just being honest," Danielle said, looking hurt, twiddling her fingers.

"Anyway, if you are voted off, then you must leave immediately, and you can't come back," Izzy stated, then smiled. "Unless I feel like it, so you might want to butter me up! Ooh, Izzy sandwich, sounds delicious! You'll have to share with my Zeke, though."

"Where is the Boat of Losers?" Isis asked. "I don't see it."

"Don't worry about that," Izzy said, waving dismissively to Isis. "If I call your name, it means you are safe, and you can collect your alphabet block from Bridgette."

"George."

"All right!" George exclaimed, then started feeling his way over to Izzy. Slowly.

"God, can't he go any faster?" Danielle whined. "We're going to be here all night.

"You can help, you know," Bridgette said, glaring at Danielle.

Danielle sighed, then walked over to George, leading him over, very quickly, to Bridgette. "Little rough there," George said, laughing a bit.

"Oh, shut up!" Danielle yelled.

Izzy smiled at the seven remaining contestants. "Bob, you're safe, too."

"Ulysses."

"Isis."

"Yancy."

"Ophelia."

"Yes! Yes!" Ophelia exclaimed, poking her finger into Leanne's nose. "In yo' face, bugga'!" Ophelia leapt over to nab an alphabet block from Bridgette's plate. "Cool, this one's got an O on it, ha ha!"

"I'm thrilled for you," Danielle said, rolling her eyes.

Izzy turned to Candice and Leanne, with a serious expression on her face, as Bridgette walked over between the two, holding the last remaining block. "There is only one alphabet block left, but two of you. One of you will receive that block, and remain safe for the night."

"It had bloody better be me!" Leanne shouted.

"The other will be leaving us tonight, and more than likely not be returning to the competition. I'd say never come back ever, but let's face it, I wouldn't be fooling anyone." Izzy stared into Candice's and Leanne's souls… or it seemed like it, at least, and took out a small box with a large, red button on it. "The final block goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Candice." Candice looked relieved for a moment, and Leanne looked about to scream. Izzy almost immediately pushed the button she was holding, though, which had the chair Leanne was sitting in spring violently toward the sky, and Leanne flying through the stratosphere, screaming all the way.

"What was that?" Candice shouted, worried.

Izzy feigned shock. "Did I forget to mention that part?" Izzy mockingly slapped her own wrist. "Bad Izzy. Bad, bad Izzy." Izzy giggled. "Just kidding, but the loser will be ejected into the sky at high speeds, and make a word!"

"Make a word?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"If 'aaiiee' is a word, then yes," Izzy stated, then turned to Danielle. "Danielle, I hope you've made nice with these people, because they're about to become your new teammates!"

"You're kidding," Danielle said, blinking. "Hi," Danielle said, uneasy. "Now, I know I might have, by accident, made a bad first impression, but everyone was picking on me, and I didn't want to lose. You can understand, right?"

"Not really," Isis said, cracking her knuckles. "This ought to be fun."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (with a black eye) My strategy had a flaw, apparently. But hey, now that I'm actually on a team, I can breathe a bit easier. If these losers think they can get rid of me that easily, they've got another think coming!

Ophelia: Isis may want to kill me for it, but what can I say? I deliberately allowed Izzy to beat me. I felt a little bad for Danielle, and between you and me, Mr. Camera, I wanted Leanne gone. I mean, Danielle can't be all bad. Can she?

* * *

"I suppose this is a step up from my previous accommodations, anyway," Danielle said, lying in a sleeping bag on the floor of the third place building. "I deserve better than this, though."

"Yes, we know, you're the most perfect person anywhere and deserve the best, blah blah, I swear, you talk more than Ophelia does! Shut up!" Isis yelled, holding her pillow over her ears.

"The floor's cold," Danielle whined, poking at the cement floor. "We should get some nice carpeting in here, at least."

"Don't care, shut up!" Isis yelled, getting angrier.

"Ooh, ooh, egg her on some more so she blows up and really gets angry at you, that'd be so awesome!" Ophelia exclaimed.

"Pretty sure she's not doing it for your amusement," Candice said.

"It's reality TV, of course she is!" Ophelia exclaimed, then gasped. "Maybe she's a plant! Put here to stir up the drama, ooh, she's good!"

Danielle sighed. "I came in second place. I deserve the second place cabin, at least. It's not really fair."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (holding a Coca-Cola) Danielle looks like a plant to me. Maybe an oak, or a redwood, or… wait. Those are trees. Do trees count as plants? I'm not really sure; I'd better check on that. When I get back home, I should try planting my very own Danielle. Except that it's such a whiny little plant. I should probably get a better behaved plant, like a high biscuit! Those are totally yummy, and go great with a little buttercup spread on them, or with a little maple tree poured on… wait. Never mind the maple tree. Just makes them soggy. (Ophelia pours the Coca-Cola over her head) Kind of like this, but even stickier.

Isis: (looking freaked out, slowly getting up from the seat, noticing her butt dripping with Coca-Cola) I know you did this, Danielle. I know you did this to get me for some reason, and I am not going to let you get away with this!

* * *

"And so comes to an end another episode of _Total Drama Alphabet," _Izzy said, standing beside Bridgette, smiling for the camera, at the bonfire. "And Leanne is the first victim of this show. It's just as well, since I like Christmas, and you can't have a merry Christmas unless you have no L."

"You know, that song isn't talking about the letter L," Bridgette said.

Izzy blinked, then laughed. "Ooh, that's a good one. You almost got me, but Izzy's too sharp to fall for that one!" Izzy started knocking on her head. "You have to get up pretty early to pull the wool over my eyes, since once I wake up, I'll insist on pulling on my own wool, thank you very much. But we have twenty-four contestants left. Who will be leaving us next time? Stay tuned, next time on _Total Drama Kumquat!"_

"_Total Drama Kumquat?" _Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

Izzy shrugged. "What can I say? I miss all the random stuff we used to shout when Chris was trying to shout out the name of the show. Kumquat just felt right." Izzy started looking seductively past the camera. "Oh Zekey?"

"Yes?" Ezekiel asked.

"The episode's over. I think it's time we do something fun! Something that we should do in private." Ezekiel gulped. Izzy jumped up on Ezekiel's shoulders. "Let's play canasta!"

"You always win, eh," Ezekiel said, falling backwards on top of Izzy.

"It wouldn't be fun if I didn't win!" Izzy exclaimed.

* * *

**Votes**

Bob: Leanne  
Candice: Leanne  
George: Leanne  
Isis: Leanne  
Leanne: Ophelia  
Ophelia: Leanne  
Ulysses: Candice  
Yancy: Leanne

Leanne: 6  
Candice: 1  
Ophelia: 1

Remaining Team Amazon: Alistair, Frederique, Katrina, Percy, Rachel, Walter, Xuxa, Zack  
Remaining Team Himalayas: Bob, Candice, Danielle, George, Isis, Ophelia, Ulysses, Yancy  
Remaining Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

* * *

So Leanne is gone, and I'm sure he'll be missed. By someone. And twenty-four contestants remain, and Danielle is now stuck on Team Himalayas. How will they cope with her on their team? Stay tuned!


	5. Day 3, Part 1: K is for Klutzy

****

Total Drama Alphabet

**Chapter 5: Day 3: Part 1: K is for Klutzy**

**Confession Outhouse**

Sierra: Hi! My name's Sierra, and I'm, like, the biggest _Total Drama _fan ever! Especially Cody, who's like the hottest, most perfect contestant ever! Gwen's totally an idiot for choosing Trent over him, but I don't mind. (Sierra smiles innocently.) I've watched every episode, and I've even seen every episode of _Total Drama Chris, _even though that one didn't even air yet! It turns out there's a site online where I could download all of the episodes, and I totally know who wins. (Sierra's face sours.) And I totally know that it's Sadie's fault that Cody didn't win! (Sierra strangles the air in front of her.) I could just wring Sadie's neck for that! (Sierra breathes in deeply.) I'm also a little worried that Cody chose Eva over Beth, because Eva could kill me. I mean, I know Cody would totally dump either one the moment he sees me, but if he chose Beth last season, at least I wouldn't have to worry about being murdered in my sleep. (Sierra looks around, then cups her hand around her mouth, whispering.) But between you and me, it would be totally worth it!

Izzy: (cocking an eyebrow) What the hell?

* * *

Izzy was standing on the Dock of Shame, nervously rocking back and forth. Bridgette was standing beside her, with her hands in her pockets.

"Man, wasn't that last episode awesome!" Izzy exclaimed, half-heartedly. "I mean, there was whoosh, and blammo! And weee! And all of that other good stuff!"

"And, apparently, we have a obsessive fan stalking Cody on the island," Bridgette said.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure how she got here," Izzy said, shrugging. "But she might be good for ratings."

"Maybe we should get her off the island?" Bridgette asked. "Good for ratings is what Chris would say."

"No, I think she'll be fine if we keep her here," Izzy said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sierra: …and then we'll be happy with a bunch of little Codies running around the house! (Sierra turns desperate, holding her hands together.) Please please please let me stay, Izzy! I'll do anything if you let me stay here! I just want to stay here so I can meet my true love, please!

* * *

"She was just so desperate," Izzy said. "Izzy didn't have the heart to break her heart."

"Doesn't Cody already have a girlfriend?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She seems harmless," Izzy said, shrugging. "She just wants to meet her crush. Lots of people get crushes on celebrities. What harm could it do?" Bridgette sighed, and Izzy put back on a huge smile. "Anyway, last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _our teams had to run around the island, finding twenty of Mega Man's robot masters to fight. The team that beat the most robot masters would win… if anyone on that team was still alive. And even though Team Himalayas beat the most bosses, none survived." Izzy narrowed her eyes. "It almost looked like Ophelia threw that challenge against me when I looked over the tape, which, unfortunately, ensured Danielle's safety."

"Wouldn't she have been safe, anyway?" Bridgette asked, shrugging. "I mean, she beat more of the robot guys than Team Moon did."

Izzy tapped her chin. "Good point. Anyway, Team Himalayas lost, and in an especially non-shocking elimination, Leanne was hurled into the stratosphere."

"I don't think anyone was expecting the 'hurled into the stratosphere' part of that elimination," Bridgette said.

"Izzy didn't really like Leanne very much," Izzy said. "Though personally, I wanted Danielle to lose."

"She's pretty, though," Ezekiel said, from behind the camera.

Bridgette rolled her eyes, while Izzy walked over to behind the camera, noises were heard, then Izzy walked back to in front of the camera, dusting her hands off. "Danielle is with a bunch of teammates who hate her, though, and are likely itching for a reason to do horrible things to her."

"I'd like to see Katrina make it far," Bridgette said, smiling. "She seems really nice."

"And boring," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "Ophelia's nice, and a whole lot of fun!"

"Should you be playing favorites, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "Shouldn't we be impartial?"

Izzy waved her hand dismissively. "So says the guy who wants Danielle to win." Izzy smiled as she saw Ezekiel hiding under his tuque, not that he was see it on camera. "Anyway, there are twenty-four contestants left who have a shot at that million dollars, but someone else is getting voted off tonight! Find out who in our most exciting campfire ceremony yet, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

* * *

"This is pretty nice," Rachel said, admiring one of the bedrooms of the winners' cabin, plopping down on one of the beds. "This is the luxury which I deserve!"

"Doesn't really seem all that impressive," Katrina said, poking the mattress as if she were inspecting it, with her other hand stroking her chin. "Seems pretty low-quality to me." Katrina sat on the bed. "I guess Izzy doesn't have the same budget I do."

"Ooh, there goes that whole nice girl act," Alistair mocked.

"Why are you here?" Rachel asked, glaring at Alistair.

"Izzy just kind of gave the impression that this cabin was the lap of luxury to end all lap of luxuries, and it's not," Katrina said. "I've been spoiled a bit, that's all."

"A bit?" Alistair asked. "Only a bit?"

"I'm not used to relating to poor people, OK?" Katrina said, irritated. "I don't exactly get invited to other people's houses much."

"You did not just call me poor," Alistair said menacingly, clenching a fist.

"And how many yachts do you own?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I do own my own, personal yacht, I'll have you know!" Alistair spat.

Katrina looked at her hand, bored. "I own fifteen. What, are you too broke? Do mommy and daddy not give you any allowance?"

Alistair looked like his brain broke, and pointed a finger toward Katrina. "Don't think you've heard the last of Alistair Swan!" Alistair barged out of the room, punching a wall, and hurting his hand in the process.

Katrina looked down, rocking her feet off the side of the bed. "I think I went too hard on him."

"Please, that was mere light teasing," Rachel said, waving her hand dismissively. "I do have to say I am jealous, though. I thought I was rich, but I don't have any yachts."

"I wasn't trying to make you jealous," Katrina said, turning to Rachel, smiling bright. "I'm just… it's like a different world to me. I just don't fit in. It's why I don't really have friends back home."

"Jealousy?" Rachel asked. Katrina nodded. "I can see why," Rachel said, shrugging. "Who doesn't want to have their very own ridiculously wealthy friend they can mooch off of, though!" Rachel gave a light punch to Katrina's arm and laughed.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: Rachel has a nice side. I can see it quite well. Maybe I could get her to show that side to everyone else, too! (Katrina smiles an enormous smile with her hands held together in her lap. Then a light fixture falls on her from the ceiling, knocking her to the floor, and damaging the chair.) Ow….

Rachel: (sitting in a director's chair) OK, what happened to the nice chair they used to have in here? (Rachel shrugs.) I feel a little bad for Katrina, really. She's incredibly rich, she's super nice, she's incredibly rich, she highly intelligent, she's incredibly rich… OK, I really need to stop thinking that. In fairness, though, I liked her before I really understood just how rich she was. Yet, no friends. It would be utterly cruel of me not to befriend her, right?

* * *

"Are you OK?" Xuxa asked, noticing Katrina's head bandaged up.

"I'm good," Katrina said, holding her head as she walked down the hallway. "You look a little upset, though. Frederique turn you down again?"

"He'd never do-what do you mean again-never mind, it's just that I dropped my video game system, and it's not working now." Xuxa sighed.

"Maybe I could take a look at it," Katrina said. "I might be able to fix it for you."

"You can-I mean, you know how to fix things like that?" Xuxa said, blinking.

"I'm a bit of a techno-whiz," Katrina said, blushing. "I mean, not to brag, but I am."

"It would be totally awesome if you could fix it!" Xuxa exclaimed. "Thank you so much!"

"It's not a problem," Katrina said. "I quite enjoy it."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (sitting in the director's chair) That only took about an hour. Nothing to it. Even added a new game to her system that I created from scratch! _Total Drama Video Game!_ I've been wanting someone to try it out, and I think Xuxa likes it! (The director's chair splits apart, and Katrina falls to the floor.) Ow….

Xuxa: (standing, holding her video game system) Didn't there used to be a chair in here? (Xuxa shrugs.) Anyway, it's as good as new, and she even added this really cool _Total Drama Island _game to it! She said she made it herself, and it's awesome! It's funny too, like how when I got to the first boss, DJ wouldn't even attack me, and tried to run away from me!

DJ: (standing with his arms crossed over his chest) Now why'd I have to be the first boss? Would I really be the easiest one?

Walter: (sitting down where the chair normally is, but falling to the ground since there's nothing there) Something is amiss.

* * *

"That isn't good for the environment," Jennie said, in the girls' side of the middle cabin that night, angrily looking at a chocolate bar Nicole was holding.

Nicole blinked. "OK, let's pretend I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That's a plastic wrapper," Jennie said, contorting her face in disgust. "Do you know how long it'll take for that to biodegrade? You really ought to boycott that company. And what sorts of ingredients are in that thing?"

Nicole looked at the wrapper. "Milk, sugar, soy lecithin, natural flavors, blue 1, blue 2, yellow 5, red 40."

"Did you even notice anything missing?" Jennie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nicole shrugged. "Not really." Nicole took another bite of the 'chocolate' bar. "Tastes pretty good."

"That didn't even have any chocolate in it!" Jennie shouted, slapping her face in frustration.

"Isn't that what 'natural flavors' are?" Nicole asked, not terribly concerned.

"No, that's codeword for 'we don't want you to know what the hell's flavoring this!'" Jennie yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

Nicole shrugged, and took another bite of the allegedly chocolate bar. "Don't care."

"That's one of our problems in this world, no one caring," Jennie said, with more than a hint of disgust in her voice.

"I care that you won't shut up!" Stephanie yelled from her bunk, covering her ears with her pillow.

"Some things are more important than sleep!" Jennie yelled, glaring at Stephanie, though her face was turned the other way.

"This really isn't one of them," Nicole stated flatly, then yawned.

Jennie gnashed her teeth together. "I'm just trying to help and make you a more ecologically-friendly person."

"It's late," Elizabeth said, turning in her bed. "Can't you do this tomorrow?"

Jennie looked down, rubbing her foot against the floor. "It's kind of important. I guess it can wait for tomorrow, though."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: It's actually said that Jennie only shut up because we're all afraid of Elizabeth. But then again, it worked, so I'm not exactly complaining.

Elizabeth: That was easier than I thought it would be.

Jennie: Sometimes I tend to go a little bit overboard, and Elizabeth may not have much more time as a free woman, which disgusts me. I don't really want her to have to spend her last days listening to my complaining about our world when she's about to be shoved away from it, anyway.

* * *

"Um, Ophelia?" Isis asked, lying on the floor of the third cabin, looking suspiciously at Ophelia.

"Yes?" Ophelia asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Just trying to get some shut-eye, but I'm just so excited, it's hard to sleep, you know?"

Isis rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. I meant why are you snuggling with Danielle?"

Ophelia waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, that, she's my project." Ophelia rubbed her fingers through Danielle's hair. "She looks like such an angel when she's asleep." Danielle was lying there, in an uncomfortable looking position, drooling like mad. She then made snorting noises as she tumbled around.

"That's exactly what I think when I think 'angel,'" Isis said, rolling her eyes again. "Really, though, watch your back around that one. She will hurt you."

"I'm a big girl," Ophelia pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't tell me who I can't be friends with!"

"What are you two talking about?" Candice asked, waking up, looking groggy.

"None of your business," Isis said, glaring at Candice. Candice did as told.

Ophelia blinked. "Why don't you like Candice, anyway?"

"She's a horrible slut," Isis said, shuddering. "She has her life handed to her on a silver platter, and she just wastes it away!"

"Why do you think her life was so good, anyway?" Ophelia asked.

Isis nervously tapped her fingers together. "Well… I…." Ophelia sighed. "Darn."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: She's a blonde white girl! Of course she's had it easy! I mean, she's the kind of person everyone does anything for! I think.

Ophelia: (gasping) It looks like the chair bandits have struck again! Someone's come all the way to the island to steal the chair out of this room! But never fear, for I'm on the case! (Ophelia takes out a pipe, lights it up, puffs on it, then gags, dropping the pipe.) OK, I seriously have no idea how Alistair can handle this stuff.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Isis asked, raising an eyebrow, as Ophelia was playing with Danielle's face.

"Checking something," Ophelia said, playing with Danielle's eyes, and eventually smirked. "Bingo!"

"What are you doing?" Candice asked, waking up again.

"None of… I mean, I don't really know," Isis said, blinking. "What are you doing, Ophelia? And how is she not waking up?"

"I wish I was that deep a sleeper," Candice said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: Should I apologize to Candice? (Isis taps her chin.) No, I shouldn't. Maybe I should lighten up on her, though. She looks like Danielle's big sister, but she really hasn't done anything so bad. I mean, aside from the whole slut thing.

Ophelia: (nodding her head nonchalantly) I learned some very interesting things about Danielle. Things that I doubt she'd want to let the whole world know. Things that some people might use as blackmail, but not me! I don't like that sort of stuff. (Ophelia looks around.) Didn't there used to be a chair in here? Maybe I'm just forgetful.

* * *

Ulysses looked excitedly at the brown sludge on his plate in the dining room, and smiled as he took a bite. "You, Chef Hatchet, are most worthy of your title. So much better than DJ."

"You're nuts!" Chef yelled.

"I deserve something nicer," Danielle said, looking as if she would vomit while poking at the brown sludge on her plate. "I did finish in second place, after all."

"You eat that or starve!" Chef barked.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I really don't want to become anorexic again, but this really isn't helping. It's not even real food we're eating!

Ulysses: I hope we lose more often! This was a meal I could respect! I don't want any more of DJ's nancy-pansy meals! I need food that'll put hair on my chest!

* * *

"I think DJ's losing his touch," Stephanie said, taking a bite of her fried egg. "It's just so… boring. Like something I could've made at home."

"Better than I could've made," Elizabeth said, gulping her eggs down.

"It's definitely a step down from DJ's usual cooking perfection, though," Stephanie said, tapping her fork on the table.

"I hope the eggs came out well," Courtney said, peeking out from the kitchen, smiling. "I know I'm not as good as DJ, but I really want to practice, since I want to become the best cook I can possibly become one day. And the best at everything else as well, ideally."

"DJ didn't make these?" Stephanie asked, disappointed.

"No, sorry," Courtney said, cheerful. "DJ's only cooking for the first place winners now. But when Izzy asked if anyone else would like to cook, I had to jump at the opportunity to get some practice in. I really hope the eggs are acceptable."

"Could I have something else?" Jennie asked, looking disgusted at her eggs. "Like a piece of fruit?"

Courtney glared at Jennie. "Uh, no. You eat what you were served, or you don't eat. I'm not making a special meal for everyone's tastes."

"I'd just like a piece of fruit, please," Jennie asked, a bit nervous. "

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: I don't know what Courtney's problem is. I'm on a special diet, and I can't eat eggs! Was it really so much trouble to get me some fruit?

Courtney: Look, she can eat my eggs and enjoy it, or starve. She doesn't get to whine and ask for something different! I made a good breakfast, and if she's going to complain, then… urgh!

* * *

"Look, I'm really sorry I didn't see you yesterday," Courtney said, walking with Danielle through the forest, tapping her fingers together, looking guilty. "I just kind of… I was busy with… things."

"I'm a big enough person to forgive you," Danielle said, nervous. "I don't think people like me very much, even though I'm so nice and perfect."

"Some people get jealous," Courtney said. "Believe me, I can relate to that. And I watched some video of you. And you're right. A lot of people are very clearly jealous of you."

Danielle looked down and sighed. "It's a curse. I can't help it if I'm beautiful."

Courtney sat down on the ground. "You shouldn't be! That's nothing to be ashamed of." Courtney looked around and nervously bit her lip. "But Duncan is off-limits, OK?"

"Duncan's so Draco in leather pants, though," Danielle said, smirking.

Courtney's eyes widened, then she shook her head. "OK, I have no idea what you just said. Just promise that, even though Duncan's really really hot and perfect that you'll leave him alone, OK?"

"OK," Danielle said, smiling. There're still twenty-one other-"

"You said there're!" Courtney exclaimed. "You really are perfect!"

Danielle blinked. "I don't get it."

"Just a pet peeve," Courtney said, laughing uncomfortably. "Really, though, if someone's bothering you, I'll stick up for you, OK?"

"Thank you," Danielle said, beaming. "I'd hug you, except I'm pretty sure it would make you pretty uncomfortable."

"You've done your homework, I see," Courtney said, grinning. "I do have one other piece of advice, though. I know Isis seems a little rough, but could you try being a little nicer around her?"

"She started it," Danielle said, frowning.

"I know, but I suspect she's had it rough," Courtney said. "Sometimes it's good to be the bigger person. It's hard, but it'll be worth it." Courtney looked around, then smirked, cupping her hand around her mouth. "But if you need to let out some steam, just bug Candice. Little slut's just asking for it." Courtney tapped her chin. "OK, I grant you permission to hug me, but only lightly."

"Thank you," Danielle said, practically crying, lightly hugging Courtney. Courtney pat her head.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (sitting on Katrina, lying on the ground) It's about time someone realized I'm a wonderful beautiful person. Granted, Courtney isn't exactly a contestant, but I need to start somewhere.  
Katrina: (glaring at Danielle) You could start by getting off of me.  
Danielle: Nah, you're nice and squishy, like a bean bag chair!

Courtney: I can't believe that Candice girl would just throw her life away like that! And I just know she's waiting to strike and steal my Duncan! But on the other hand, I'm also betting that it would give Danielle and Isis something nice to bond over. I'd say it's pretty win-win. (Courtney looks down at the floor, a bit disturbed.) Do you need help?  
Katrina: Yes, please.  
Courtney: (helping Katrina up on her feet) Are you able to stand up?  
Katrina: (a bit shaky) A little bit, yes.

* * *

Jennie was sitting on the stoop of the second place cabin, holding her stomach, which was growling.

"Hey," Elizabeth said, walking up to Jennie, with her hands in her pockets.

"Hey," Jennie said, trying to smile. "I don't suppose you have any food."

"That's why I'm here, actually," Elizabeth said, taking an orange out of her pocket. "Didn't want you to go hungry." Jennie's eyes lit up, staring at the orange, until she ultimately took it and started tearing it open. Or trying to tear it open. "Need help?" Elizabeth asked, sitting down next to Jennie.

"Yes, please," Jennie said, while Elizabeth took out a knife and started cutting the orange.

"Snuck into the kitchen to get it," Elizabeth said.

"That's kind of bad," Jennie said.

"Eh, I've done worse," Elizabeth said, shrugging. "Even an amoeba can steal an orange."

"I'm sure you haven't actually done worse," Jennie said, smiling.

"No, I really have," Elizabeth said, worrying Jennie a little. "I've done things I ain't proud of. A lot of things. I never killed nobody, though."

Jennie looked worried. "Thank you, but why are you telling me?"

"I like you," Elizabeth said. "I really don't want to go into it, but I like you."

"I think Rachel believes you're innocence as well," Jennie said.

"I don't like her," Elizabeth said. "Don't trust her. She's a user. I feel kind of bad for Katrina. She's walking right into Rachel's trap." Elizabeth sighed. "I think you should apologize to Bridgette, though."

"Bridgette is an unabashed walking hypocrite!" Jennie yelled, getting angry very quickly.

"OK, not today," Elizabeth said. "Just think about it."

"Not going to happen," Jennie said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: (leaning against the Coca-Cola machine) Jennie reminds me of this girl Jovie that I knew from the 'hood. Nice girl, but sometimes got a little too obsessed over saving the planet.

Jennie: (leaning into the camera, with her eye twitching) I will get my revenge, Bridgette! Oh, I will! You'd better watch it!

* * *

Izzy had gathered all of the contestants in front of the cabins, grinning, without Bridgette this time. "So, you all had favorite contestants from the first two seasons, I'm sure. Of course, none better than the great Izzy, I'm sure."

"Yeah!" Owen exclaimed, apparently from behind the contestants. "Izzy ruled! Whoo!"

Izzy rolled her eyes. "You had your chance, Big O. Anyway, I'm sure you all liked someone from the first season."

"Bridgette!" Candice exclaimed, hugging herself in excitement. "So awesome!"

"And I'm sure she feels the same way," Danielle said, nervously watching her. "Courtney's the best, of course."

"This isn't exactly a dibs thing, even though dibs would be totally fun," Izzy said. "We've already asked you all who your favorite contestants are, and that's how Izzy has made her decisions on who each of you are going to be working with for this challenge!"

"Whom," Danielle said, raising a finger.

"Um, whom what?" Izzy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Danielle rolled her eyes. "The word you wanted was whom You said who."

"Whom is stupid," Izzy said. "I'd totally take it out if it had a physical presence."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: She's a television host, for crying out loud! Isn't she the one who wanted that e/i rating, anyway? How is she going to get that if she can't even keep who and whom straight!

Katrina: (partly bandaged) I kind of agreed with Danielle, actually. Izzy probably should've known better than to use "who," but really, Danielle, correcting the host isn't going to win you any points in her favor.

Walter: Whom is a stupid word that should not even exist. But it's still fun to snark people who don't use it.

* * *

"So first, the easy ones," Izzy said, taking out a sheet of paper. "Only one person picked Owen as his favorite, so Frederique, he's all yours!"

"Whoo!" Owen cheered, glomping Frederique, who smiled. "We're gonna' win this thing, you and me!"

"That we will, man, that we will!" Frederique exclaimed. Rachel and Xuxa watched with mouths agape.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Wow… so Frederique likes Owen. Maybe if I stop taking showers, or start putting on more weight, or… I don't know! There has to be something I can do to get my beloved's attention.

Rachel: (with her arms crossed over her chest) So Frederique likes fat, disgusting, stupid slobs. (Rachel smirks.) I don't know if I can possibly compete against Xuxa.

* * *

"Hi guys," Beth said, smiling and waving to everyone, holding Justin's hand, who looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Ah, Beth and Justin," Izzy said. "Surprisingly, Beth, only one person picked you. Equally as surprising, one person actually did pick Justin."

"Why is that surprising?" Katrina asked, bandaged up partly, and drooling a bit. "He's pretty dreamy."

"He was less than nice last season," Izzy said.

"Oh," Katrina said, blushing, holding her pointer fingers to each other. "We were kind of sequestered, though."

"That didn't really seem to stop anyone else," Izzy said, then shrugged. "I like you, though. I'll let you change your mind if you want."

"I'll stick with Justin," Katrina said, as she glomped him. Justin looked unsure of how to react.

Izzy pat Beth's back. "You're with George."

"Cool," George said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: Justin couldn't have been that bad, could he have? I mean, it would be pretty disappointing if he were, since he always seemed so hot in the first season. Nice! Nice, I mean, in the first season!

* * *

"DJ," Izzy said, smiling. "You can go over to Jennie. She likes you."

"I do not like him!" Jennie shouted, glaring at Izzy, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Funny," Izzy said, smirking. "You indicated liking him on your application."

"Not liking him!" Jennie shouted. "He was my favorite contestant in the first season, but it doesn't mean I like him." Jennie sighed. "You are a good cook, though." DJ smiled a bit.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

DJ: Really, Jennie scares me. I know how she hates Bridgette, but she seems like she can be kind of nice, at least.

* * *

"Do I even want to know?" Gwen asked, glaring at the contestants, standing next to Izzy.

"Probably not," Izzy said. "Walter likes you, though. Think you can handle him?"

"Pretty sure," Gwen said, glaring at Walter, who was smirking.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Walter: And I, for one, hope the goth goddess does handle me. Oh, how I would love that. Even more than an actual chair in this room again.

* * *

"All right!" Eva yelled, pounding her fists together. "Which one of you actually picked me?"

"I did," Hank said, smirking as he straightened out his shirt.

Eva glared at him. "Kind of puny there."

"Good thing I'll have you to protect me," Hank said, winking at her. "Helpless guy like me needs a strong chick like you."

"Watch that mouth," Eva said, glaring at Hank.

"It's all good."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I'm betting by the end of the day, Hank's going to be in worse shape than I am.

* * *

"I'm not sure what scares me more," Noah said, looking at the contestants before him. "Which one might have chosen me as his or her favorite contestant, or that someone would have actually chosen me as the favorite contestant."

"Gabby loves you," Izzy said, grinning as she rocked back and forth on her feet. "So does O-"

"No no no!" Noah yelled, stomping his foot. "Not her! Please not her!"

"I didn't mention who it was yet," Izzy said, wearing a huge grin.

"I heard the O!" Noah snapped. "I know who that is!"

"Me!" Ophelia exclaimed, taking a huge leap toward Noah to glomp him. "You seemed like so much fun!" Ophelia looked up to smirk at Noah, who was turning purple. "You've got a wicked sense of humor. I like-whoops!" Ophelia let Noah go, and looked embarrassed. "Sorry about that, Noey. Didn't notice you couldn't breathe. At least this time I didn't put you in the hospital!" Ophelia nervously massaged the back of her neck.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Noah: This time? Is Izzy trying to get me killed? So much for treating us well!

Katie: (tapping her chin) Noey… I think I've got a new nickname for Noah!

* * *

Cody was standing before the contestants, smiling nervously and waving. "Hi!"

"Kind of a shame," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Nice guy like you, and only one person picked you as the favorite." Izzy put on a big grin. "Good news, though: you get a girl!"

"Sweet," Cody said, smiling, though looking a bit nervous when he noticed Eva glaring at him. "Don't worry, Eva, I'll let her know I'm taken."

"You get Elizabeth," Izzy said, grinning wide still.

Cody fidgeted. "OK, I might have trouble telling her."

Elizabeth blushed a bit. "It's OK. Eva's a nice girl. I won't steal you away from her."

Cody smiled nervously. "Thank you for understanding. Really, thank you."

"You're welcome!" Elizabeth said, beaming.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Cody: (nervously rubbing the back of his neck) Well, I'm glad Elizabeth took that well. I'm just kind of hoping that she's not secretly plotting my murder now. (Cody laughs uncomfortably.)

Elizabeth: (looking dreamy) Cody's such a sweet guy. I'd love a guy like him, but I really don't want to get between him and Eva. I like Eva. I know she seemed kind of mean in the first season, but I sense a sweet girl beneath that cover.

Eva: (nervous) Yeah… she'd better not try to steal Cody! I could… I could mess her up if she did! (Eva gulps nervously.)

* * *

"Hello," Courtney said, waving to the contestants. "I really anticipate working with you, Danielle. I'm sure we will make an unstoppable team!"

"You actually **want **to team up with Danielle?" Isis asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Unfortunately, Danielle isn't the person who chose you," Izzy said.

"But she's my favorite former contestant!" Danielle said, nervous. "I do want Courtney!"

"You didn't pick her," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Courtney, you get to work with Stephanie."

"It is an honor to be working with you, Miss Courtney," Stephanie greeted, extending her hand.

"Thank you," Courtney said, extending her hand out to shake hands. "I do hope you prove to be as worthy a competitor as Danielle."

"That won't be hard," Isis muttered.

"I want Courtney, though!" Danielle shouted, flustered. "I changed my mind about who my favorite contestant is! I want a second chance!"

"Too late!" Izzy exclaimed, blowing a raspberry to Danielle.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: OK, I guess I could have been nice and flipped a coin, since Courtney seemed to like Danielle, too. But really, I don't like Danielle. And frankly, I question just how sane Courtney is, since she seems to like her, for some reason. (Izzy shrugs.) I think I need to work harder at out-crazying Courtney, really.

Danielle: (crying) I don't get why so many people here hate me! I'm so awesome and incredible, and everyone's jealous! My beauty is like a curse. (Danielle blows her nose into a tissue.)

Stephanie: Everyone involving themselves in the Danielle drama is an idiot. Danielle is a twit, but then everyone else overreacts to her… it's a mess. I am not sure what Courtney sees in her. I certainly do not see it.

* * *

"And now, everyone else," Izzy said, standing beside Duncan. "Danielle, Rachel, Xuxa, please step forward. You three all picked Duncan." Rachel and Xuxa glared at each other, while Danielle nervously twiddled her fingers.

"I willingly relinquish him to either Rachel or Xuxa," Danielle said, smiling nervously.

"I agree with what she said," Rachel said. "Especially if you cut out the part after I was mentioned."

"Well, I've thought about it," Izzy said, grinning deviously. "Duncan, you get Danielle."

"But she doesn't even want him!" Rachel yelled.

"Please, let one of them have him!" Danielle shouted, nervous.

"My mind is made up," Izzy said. "You'll be the double D team!"

Duncan shrugged. "Fine with me. Want to make out toots?" Duncan winked at Danielle, who looked at him dreamily, but quickly shook out of that state, while Courtney glared.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Look, Courtney, I'm really really really really sorry about that! I really didn't want to steal your man away. (Danielle tapped her chin.) Well, not anymore, at least. Please forgive me!

Xuxa: That slut! Stealing Duncan away, and she didn't even want her! How could she do that to me?

Rachel: That slut! Stealing Duncan away… even though Izzy didn't give her a choice in the matter. (Rachel shrugs.) I just don't like her, really. Good enough reason to call her a slut as far as I care.

* * *

"Hi, guys," Bridgette said, smiling and waving. "I'm actually going to be helping one of you in this challenge."

"And it'll be either Bob or Candice," Izzy said. "They both wanted you. Do you have a preference?"

Bridgette smiled nervously. "No…" she answered, trailing off a bit.

"Coin flip time, then!" Izzy exclaimed, taking out a large coin, about four inches in diameter, with special faces. "On one side is Bob. On the other side is Candice. You'll team up with whichever one the coin lands on." Izzy flipped the coin into the air, and it bounced off of Bridgette's arm on the way down, and landed on the ground, with Candice's face up. "You get to work with Candice!"

"That hit my arm, though," Bridgette said, looking a bit nervous. "Maybe we should reflip the coin, just to be fair?"

"Don't be silly," Izzy said. "It was all random anyway."

"Bob's OK with it!" Bob exclaimed.

"Great," Bridgette said, nervously tugging on her ponytail.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: (squeeing, waving her arms frantically) I get to work with Bridgette! It's be so awesome, 'cause Bridgette's da' bomb! She's like the nicest awesomest person ever! (Candice wipes a tear from her eyes.) And really, she's inspired me, watching her back on _Total Drama Island._ It couldn't be a bigger honor than to work with Bridgette!

Bridgette: OK, to be honest, I kind of stuck my arm out on purpose, so I could ask for a redo in case it landed on Candice, because I really wanted Bob. Candice just seems so… well, bad. I really didn't want to be mean, since I don't really know her that well, but I just… well, I guess I could try to get to know her better. I'm kind of ashamed of myself for judging her like that.

Izzy: (shaking her head) Kind of wish Bridgette would've just told me. I'd have given her Bob if she didn't want Candice. But then, maybe it'll be for the best.

* * *

"Feeling OK, my Zeke?" Izzy said, putting her hand to Ezekiel's forehead. "You're not going to go all Jack the Ripper on us, I hope."

"Why would I do that, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "I wouldn't want to kill anyone."

"Good to know, Zeke, good to know," Izzy said, nodding. "Anyway, Ulysses and Yancy both want you."

"The U.S. Army could use a guy like you," Ulysses said, saluting Ezekiel.

"What about the Canadian Army, eh?" Ezekiel asked, scratching his tuque.

"The world doesn't care about Canada," Ulysses stated. "We're the ugly stepchild of the U.S., and it's the U.S. that the rest of the world fears and obeys."

Izzy looked nervously at Ezekiel, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Would you rather Yancy?"

"I want to be fair, eh," Ezekiel said. "You can flip the coin, eh." Izzy nodded, then flipped a coin into the air, which came down Ulysses side up. "Sure you want to go with the coin?"

"It'll be OK," Ezekiel said, nodding. "I want to play fair, and all."

Izzy gave Ezekiel a gentle hug. "Good luck!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ulysses: (shaking his head) Public display of affection. How reprehensible! It's reasons like that the U.S. Army was mistaken in allowing women to join. At least they've got the horse sense to keep their "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Last thing the U.S. Army needs are fags engaging in public displays of affection.

Izzy: (with her eye twitching) What have I got Ezekiel into?

* * *

"Isis. Quincy," Izzy said, taking out another coin. "You've both picked Leshawna."

"Please please please please please let me have her!" Isis exclaimed, getting on her knees before Izzy. "I love Leshawna just so much! She's so beautiful and amazing!"

"I'm not sure if that would be fair, though," Izzy said, looking unsure.

"Please!" Isis begged, clinging to Leshawna's legs. "I need to bond with my hero!"

"Thank you," Leshawna said, a bit nervous. "I really ain't a hero, though. Kind of a villain, really."

Isis glared at Leshawna. "Don't you ever talk about yourself like that! You're the nicest person ever! Don't let Danielle talk down to you!"

"I didn't say anything!" Danielle shouted.

"She can have Leshawna," Quincy said, shrugging. "I think she'll appreciate it more."

Izzy shrugged. "Works for me. Leshawna?"

"I be fine with it," Leshawna said, smiling. "Kinda' nice to have someone looking up to me still."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Leshawna: I don't think Isis knows what went down last season. I hate to disillusion the poor girl, but I can't really let her go on thinking I'm perfect, when I ain't. Though I won't argue about being called bootylicious. That part's true.

Danielle: Really, when did I ever say anything bad about Leshawna?

* * *

"Alistair, Percy, and Todd," Izzy said, grinning, "you three all picked Lindsay. May I ask why?"

"She seems like she'd be pretty easy," Percy said, smirking.

"She's smokin'," Alistair said, with a vicious grin on his face.

"I've always wanted my very own perky female minion," Todd answered matter-of-factly.

"That's good to know," Izzy said. "I don't really trust leaving her with any of you, so instead, I'm giving you other contestants who, sadly, no one else picked as their favorites, like Tyler." Tyler walked out, and tripped over his own feet. Lindsay rushed over from somewhere to help him up, and the two started making out. "Percy, you get Tyler."

"Aww, come on!" Percy shouted. "Can't I at least get a girl?"

"I'll be watching you like a hawk," Tyler said, then growled at Percy. "You aren't going to hurt my Lindsay, or I'll be all over you like a hawk is all over… hawk sorts of stuff!"

"Ooh, scary," Percy said, waving his hands in mock fear.

"Hey, I've got super strong fingers!" Tyler shouted, while Sadie walked up beside Tyler, waving to everyone.

"Please let that… 'thing' be for Todd," Alistair said, fearful.

Todd shrugged. "Works for me."

"Nope, Sadie's for Alistair," Izzy said, grinning.

"That hideous beast?" Alistair yelled, clenching his fists. "How **dare** you-"

Alistair was quickly uppercut by a blur, which was eventually seen to be Katie. "How dare you call my friend a 'hideous thing!'" Katie turned to Sadie, who was smiling. "You OK? Are you going to be able to take care of yourself?"

"Yes," Sadie said, beaming as she glomped her friend. "And I can always tattle if he's not nice."

Katie smiled, then walked over to Todd, grinning. "Let me set the record straight here: I'm not your minion. Perky, yes. Female, despite what a certain unnamed host insists, yes." Katie poked her finger into Todd's chest. "Minion, no. Got it? Good." Katie backed up a bit and put on a huge smile. "I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Seriously, of all the alleged females, did Izzy have to stick me with that horrid she-beast? I'd have even rathered the fat one over… her. (Todd shudders.)

Alistair: Couldn't I have at least got the annoying twin who was hot? Not that I like Katie either, mind you, but at least she's not cruel and unusual punishment toward my eyes.

Izzy: (shaking her head) Chris really picked out some nice people, didn't he?

* * *

"Veronica, you picked Heather, I noticed," Izzy said. "I guess you liked seeing her redeem herself last season and grow into a better person?"

"Did she?" Veronica said, then looked down. "That's too bad. I didn't see that. I just like Heather because she's mean, and I deserve to be berated."

"Um, no," Izzy said, looking a bit disturbed. "Heather isn't here yet, unfortunately, but what you need is someone to cheer you up, so you're getting Geoff."

"Whoo-hoo!" Geoff exclaimed, riding his skateboard out, but crashing into Veronica, knocking them both to the ground. "Oops… sorry, babe."

"It's OK," Veronica said, then sighed. "I deserved that."

"What, nah," Geoff said, waving his hand dismissively. "You're like totally hot, like as hot as Owen's sister!" Geoff was smacked in the back of his head by Bridgette. "Ow, what was that for, babe?"

"You have a girlfriend," Bridgette said, glaring at Geoff, as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I wanted to make Veronica feel better," Geoff said.

"You really didn't have to bring up Owen's sister, though," Bridgette said.

"Oh… gotcha', babe," Geoff said, cocking his finger at Bridgette, who giggled a bit before pulling him close and making out.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Veronica: I think Geoff's blind if he thinks I'm pretty. (Veronica taps her chin.) Actually, strike that. I'm sure George knows I'm hideous, and he is blind.

Geoff: I don't really get why Veronica's so hard on herself. I know she's a little overweight, but she's totally hot still! Really dig her tattoos!

* * *

"Hey, big guy," Trent said, waving to Bob as he approached.

"Hi Trent," Bob said, glomping Trent, which took him by surprise.

"Did you know how fast a possum can run when it's afraid of becoming dinner?" Yancy asked.

"It is quite fascinating," Harold agreed, nodding.

"We're teamies!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Quincy, who just stood there, looking a bit confused. Rachel, Xuxa, Nicole, and Zack stepped forward toward Izzy.

"Eww!" Rachel shouted, noticing Zack standing next to her, and pushing him down. "Who invited that freak, anyway?"

"Is he new?" Xuxa asked, squinting her eyes. "I don't remember him."

"Not important," Izzy said. "What's important is that we've run out of ex-contestants, so we needed to borrow some interns. Hope you don't mind!"

"Yes I mind," Rachel said, looking around nervously. "Please tell me that we get to pick the intern, at least."

"I'm afraid not," Izzy said, shaking her head. "But you know, when I asked the interns, Rain was very adamant in working with you."

"No…" Rachel said weakly, trailing off, going stiff.

"You get to work with Rain!" Izzy put on a devious grin. "Have fun."

Almost instantly, Rain leapt at Rachel, tackling her to the ground. "Payback," Rain whispered, glaring at Rachel.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: Rain, I'm sorry you weren't a contestant this season. You hate Rachel, and that makes you a winner in my book.

Danielle: I'd almost feel bad for Rachel, except that she's such a miserable despicable person who doesn't really deserve to live. (Danielle shakes her head.)

Xuxa: I'm kind of torn. Rachel doesn't really deserve being stuck with Rain, but she's totally mean to me! (Xuxa sighs.) I hope you're OK, Rachel.

* * *

"Hi!" Margo exclaimed, shaking Nicole's hand. "It's going to be oh-so-wonderful to be working with you!"

"Thanks," Nicole said.

"Your hair's so pretty," Margo said, running her hand through Nicole's hair. "It's all dead and stuff!"

"Um… thanks?" Nicole asked, blinking.

"Ooh, you should take off the jacket," Margo said. "It'll make the bigness of your boobies explode in joy!"

Nicole looked freaked out. "OK, I'm just going to walk… over here." Nicole quickly walked off, closely followed by Margo.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (giggling) OK, Nicole, you really should lighten up. It was funny, really, and Margo seems sweet. I wouldn't have minded-(the light fixture from above fell, hitting Katrina on the head, knocking her to the floor.) Help?

Danielle: (noticing the light fixture hanging, then noticing Katrina on the ground, and shoves her foot into her) OK, seriously, did you have to destroy this place just to get revenge on me? You're hurting everyone else, too. Not just me. Stop being so selfish.

* * *

"You're Xuxa," Charlotte said, smiling, extending her hand. "I'm Charlotte, and I hope we can be friends."

"Hi, Cha-aauugghh!" Xuxa screamed, recoiling, while Charlotte laughed, and showed her the joy buzzer in her hand.

"That was priceless," Charlotte said, slapping her knee, then looked at Xuxa, concerned. "Are you OK?"

"I… guess," Xuxa said, looking worried.

Charlotte sighed, took the joy buzzer off, and showed her empty hands to Xuxa. "OK, I won't do that again. Promise!" Charlotte exclaimed, raising her right hand.

"OK," Xuxa said, smiling.

"And I guess I owe Elli ten bucks now," Charlotte said, shrugging. "She bet that I wouldn't be able to resist doing that. I just didn't realize how much she was going to tempt me with it, though."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Sierra: (sweeping the floor) Izzy said I could totally stay here, but I had to earn my keep. Eeeiii! I'm so going to win over Cody! Look out, Eva, 'cause here comes the girl who loves Cody way more than you do!

* * *

"Alright," Izzy said, with her hands on her hips. "Now that all of you guys are paired up, it's time to start our challenge… ooh, these are fun! But you'll be participating, as teams of two, in a few of our favorite past challenges from the first season! Classic challenges, I like to call them, but as teams! See you guys at the top of the thousand-foot cliff, ha ha!" Izzy bounded toward the cliff, while everyone else followed. Or almost everyone.

"Justin, could you please help me up the cliff?" Katrina asked, in a wheelchair, with most of her body in a cast.

Justin leaned against the wheelchair, admiring his hand. "I don't do things like that. Might get calluses. Wouldn't want to risk harm to this perfect skin, would I?"

"Please?" Katrina asked, sweetly.

"Don't really feel like it," Justin said, shrugging. "It's not like I'm in any danger of being eliminated, or anything. Why should I care?"

Rachel was watching, and narrowing her eyes toward Justin. "OK, I've had enough of this." Rachel stormed toward Justin, leaving Rain behind.

"You get back here!" Rain yelled. "I'm not doing this alone!"

Rachel poked her finger into Justin's chest. "You be nice to her, and take her up the cliff."

"And if I don't?" Justin asked, glaring back. Rachel slapped Justin, though he didn't react. "Is that the best you've got?" Rachel slapped Justin several more times, while he yawned. Then she kicked him in the balls, while he collapsed to the ground.

"I've got your back," Rachel said. "I'm not sure if I'm allowed to take you up the cliff."

"I'm not sure, either," Katrina said. "I wouldn't risk it."

Rachel turned back to Justin, still on the ground, glaring at him. "If you know what's good for you, you'll take her up the cliff."

Rachel was knocked down by Rain, fuming herself. "You don't leave a teammate behind!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Justin: OK, Katrina's an ugly little troll, and only slightly prettier than Beth. But at least Beth's nice! Katrina's a little witch, bossing me around! Why should I have to put up with that sort of abuse? (Justin sighs.)

Katrina: (mostly in a cast, in a wheelchair) I'm starting to see what Izzy was warning me about earlier. Thank you though, Rachel! You really are nice! And maybe you and I can get some revenge on Rain when I get better! It'll be fun!

Rain: (with her arms crossed over her chest) How could she do that to me? What did I do to her? Stealing my slot away… I should be a contestant! I deserve to be a contestant, and that… Rachel took it away from me!

* * *

Izzy was at the top of the cliff, shaking her head. "And of course, everyone else is way behind. Not that it's a race, anyway, but races are fun! Like, this time I raced against my grandfather clock, and I totally owned that race! I finished before he'd even got halfway through the race! Ooh, and clocks, I love how they have hands, but they never use them for evil, but only good. Or just to point to the time, clocks are boring, but swivel chairs are fun! Going round and round and round and getting dizzy, and-"

"We're here," Eva said, with Hank looking bruised, holding on to her leg. "You didn't have to hold on to my leg, you know."

"It seemed faster," Hank said, shrugging.

"No skin off my back," Eva said, shrugging.

"So, do I win since we got here first?" Hank asked.

"It wasn't a race," Izzy said, blinking.

Hank slapped his face. "Come on! Look at how beat up I got trying to hurry here! You could've told me, at least!"

"I told you," Eva said. "You wouldn't listen." Hank sighed.

"Well, Eva and Hank won the race, but it wasn't really a race, so it doesn't matter. Instead, they'll be diving into the water below, just like our very first challenge!" Izzy wiped a tear from her eye. "Such memories. But we'll be making newer, sadder memories tonight, when someone goes home in the most dramatic elimination ceremony yet, coming up on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_


	6. Day 3, Part 2: The Libby

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 6: Day 3: Part 2: The Libby**

"And welcome back to _Total Drama Alphabet!" _Izzy exclaimed, as Justin finished wheeling Katrina, in a wheelchair, with most of her body cast up. "Nice to see the slowpokes finally make it up!"

"You Amazons should keep note of who caused you guys to lose this race," Danielle stated, nodding her head.

"That wasn't her fault," Rachel said, glaring at Danielle.

"Again, wasn't a race," Izzy said. "And it's not Katrina's fault Justin didn't want to help her up."

"Hey, she's heavy!" Justin complained. Katrina glared at Justin.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (still cast up in her wheelchair) Yes, I know I'm disgustingly fat. Really don't need to rub that in, OK?

* * *

"I'm sure you all remember the very first challenge from the very first season," Izzy said. "Jumping from the thousand-foot cliff. Lots of fun, lots of team-switching-"

"Could I please switch teams?" Isis asked sweetly.

"Um, no," Izzy said. "We're not doing that, and we're not building a hot tub, either. 'Cause Izzy's got one already."

"We could use a hot tub, though," Hank said, grinning. "It'd be nice to relax in there with the ladies."

"You do know Chris destroyed our hot tub after that first night," Izzy said. "We didn't exactly get to keep it for the whole season." Izzy shook her fist to the sky. "Imanes del refrigerador sabor semi reloj de péndulo!"

"What was that?" Elizabeth asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It was Spanish for 'curse Chris for not letting us keep the hot tub for the whole season,'" Izzy said, grinning as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

"No, it wasn't," Frederique said. "That was just sad."

"It was outright nonsense!" Stephanie yelled.

"It's probably better to just ignore it when Izzy does that," Courtney stated.

Stephanie massaged her forehead. "You're right, you're right, I direly need not get so worked up."

Isis placed her hand on Stephanie's shoulder, smiling bright. "Cheer up. Izzy just wants us to be happy."

"I've seen this show before," Stephanie grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Chris did not exactly ensure a good time for the underlings he preferred to call campers. And where is Chris, anyway?"

"Fired," Courtney said, grinning. "And good riddance. You all should be thankful that he's long gone."

Stephanie smiled slightly. "I suppose the food is better this year." Stephanie smirked. "Marginally."

"Come on, it wasn't that bad!" Courtney shouted, defensive.

"It was passable," Stephanie said, shrugging. "And it's not like I have any cooking talent whatsoever."

"Courtney's got talent to spare, though," Cody said, grinning.

"OK, seriously, what is with that?" Courtney asked. "What does that even mean?"

"Sounds like a _Sailor Moon _reference to me, about Sailor Jupiter," Elizabeth said, chewing on a piece of gum.

"OK, first, could you spit that out?" Courtney asked. "And second, could you please tell me this means, anyway?"

"It means-"

"It means you're very good at this game, yes," Cody said, with a nervous smile. Courtney looked at Cody suspiciously.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: It means Cody doesn't seem to want Courtney to know what it means. I'm not sure I blame him. (Elizabeth looks down at her chest.) I don't need no more talent, though. I got enough.

* * *

"Is everyone ready to jump?" Izzy asked. "Notice the safe zone down there, in the litty bitty circle. If you don't land in the safe zone, we have pianos that'll eat you."

"Of course," Stephanie said. "Pianos. Makes perfect sense."

"Again, better not to question it," Courtney said.

"If you don't jump, you're out, so who's first?" Izzy asked.

"Ooh, us! We can go first!" Candice exclaimed, raising her arm into the air, then turned to Bridgette. "You were so brave in the first season, jumping down there!"

"Yeah," Bridgette said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Well, it wasn't that bad."

"Are you ready?" Candice asked.

Bridgette smiled. "Sure." The two girls walked over to the edge of the cliff and jumped down into the safe zone in the water.

"And Bridgette and Candice will be moving on, it looks like!" Izzy exclaimed, then leapt onto Stephanie's back, knocking them both to the ground. "Ha ha, that was fun!"

"What did you do that for?" Stephanie yelled.

Izzy shrugged. "You just seemed like you needed some cheering up."

"I know that feeling," Ophelia said, with her fingers in Noah's mouth, forcing it into a smile.

"Would you cut that out?" Noah yelled.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (pushing down on the cushion of the new chair) Comfy. (Ophelia starts bouncing up and down on the chair as she speaks.) I know Noah's got a Mr. Fun Side to him, 'cause I know he likes Katie. Yep, it was obvious back in _Haute Camp-Ture_ that they had a thing for each other, and I just know that, unlike certain la-la-losers that shall not be named, he's got a nice side to him, and it's up to me to bring that side out! (Ophelia taps her chin.) Or maybe Haruhi.

Stephanie: I feel somewhat bad for Noah, really.

* * *

"I didn't see any man-eating pianos out there," Candice said, as she and Bridgette stepped onto the shore.

"I'm pretty sure Izzy just made that up," Bridgette said, chuckling a bit, then looked a bit guilty. "Mind if I ask something?"

"Eep!" Candice squealed, putting her fingers to her mouth, running in place. "You want to ask me something?" Candice went to the ground, bowing before Bridgette. "I am not worthy!"

Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "That's a little scary."

Candice giggled, then picked herself up from the ground. "It's OK, I was teasin' ya'!" Candice gave Bridgette a light punch to the arm. "I'm not that weird, I promise, but I am super happy we're becoming BFFs!" Candice gasped, then smiled nervously. "I mean, I know we're not BFFs right now, but I was… gah, I'm totally stupid right now, I'm sorry I'm spazzing."

"It's OK," Bridgette said, then looked down, rubbing her arm nervously. "It's just… well, I'm sorry."

Candice looked confused. "Why are you sorry? You're Bridgette! You're perfect!"

Bridgette blushed. "I'm really not." Bridgette sighed.

"What's wrong?" Candice asked, cocking her head. "I won't get mad. Promisies!"

Bridgette rubbed her shoe against the sand. "I was kind of hoping I'd be paired up with Bob."

"Well, Bob's nice," Candice said. "I mean, I know it's good to like everyone equally, but I play favorites too, like you being my favorite contestant."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: Yeah, I kinda' suspected what it was. (Candice sighs.) I guess no one's completely perfect, but I know Bridgette would try to overcome it! It's the Bridgette way!

* * *

"And I know, I'm a dirty slut," Candice said, sounding hurt.

"I didn't say that," Bridgette said, then gulped, looking shocked, then looked down. "I'm sorry, though. I'm not going to patronize you. That… did have me nervous."

"Thank you," Candice said, smiling.

Bridgette looked up, confused. "You're thanking me?"

"For being honest," Candice said. "I don't like when people treat me like a dumb blonde slut."

Bridgette smiled as she put her hands into her pockets. "I can relate to that. Well, the dumb blonde part, not the… s-word part so much-"

"It's OK," Candice said. "You can say it."

"I really don't like that word, though," Bridgette said. "It's just… ugly."

"I'm kinda' used to it," Candice said, then started tearing up slightly, as she wiped her eye. "I kinda' deserve it."

"You don't," Bridgette said. "And I'm disappointed in myself. I don't like not being open-minded."

"I kinda' was a slut," Candice said.

"I wish you wouldn't call yourself that," Bridgette said.

"I ain't saying I am one, I'm saying I was one," Candice said.

"Now see, that's just… really, I'm ashamed that I was thinking bad things before," Bridgette said, blushing. "You're thinking bad things about you too, though." Bridgette hugged Candice gently, and Candice squeezed back hard. "I just wish-"

Bridgette was cut short as the two saw Duncan flying down from the cliff, screaming loudly as he crashed into the water, followed shortly by Danielle flying by just as fast, gagging after she got her head back above the water.

"I should probably help them," Bridgette said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Duncan: Man, is Danielle strong. She's really pissing me off, though. She never shuts up! I was going to walk out, but then she just threw me off the cliff! Hard! Who the hell does this girl think she is?

Danielle: (rubbing her forehead) Yeah, I think I got Courtney a little angry, hurling Duncan down the cliff against his will and all, but he was trying to make me lose! My hands were tied, Courtney, I swear! (Danielle shakes her head.) I can't believe I have a crush-had. Had a crush on the guy. (Danielle smiles nervously.)

* * *

"You two are out if you don't jump," Izzy said, looking to Courtney and Stephanie.

"It's in the best interest of our health," Stephanie said. "We happen to enjoy not dying."

"I think I can handle it, actually," Courtney said, smiling. "I wouldn't want to be the downfall of your team."

"I thought you were afr… had a condition that prevented you from jumping off cliffs," Stephanie said.

"I'm pretty sure Izzy isn't trying to kill us," Courtney said, then looked over the cliff into the lake and gulped. "On the other hand, maybe you're right. I wouldn't ask of you to risk life and limb jumping down there."

"Of course," Stephanie said. "Am I to wear one of those horrid rubber chicken hats now?"

"No, but you're still out," Izzy said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: For someone who thinks she's so much smarter than the rest of us, Stephanie isn't exactly trying to win anyone over here.

Isis: I just hope the rest of her team doesn't vote Stephanie out for that, 'cause she could so totally own everything else they throw at her!

Courtney: Frankly, I didn't mind getting out of the game. I really wanted to make sure Danielle wasn't up to anything. She's acting pretty weird.

* * *

Isis looked over the edge of the cliff, biting her nails, then glomped Leshawna, crying. "I'm sorry. I can't do it."

"It's OK," Leshawna said, patting Isis' back. "It's a pretty scary jump."

"I wish I were as brave as you," Isis said, as she walked down the cliff with Leshawna.

"It's OK, not everyone can be as awesome and fearless as me," Leshawna boasted.

"You forced Heather to do it in the first season," Alistair teased, smirking.

"This is… it's different," Leshawna said, nervous.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Leshawna: (sighing) It's not that different, really. I made a mistake throwing Heather over the cliff.

* * *

"You can do it," Veronica said to Geoff, nervously looking over the cliff. "It's not so bad. Just plummeting at up to a hundred and twenty miles per hour to what could possibly be our deaths."

"Don't wanna'," Geoff said, sucking on his thumb.

"It's not so bad," Veronica said, looking down to Geoff. "We'll probably survive, and if we don't, then it's not like anyone's going to miss me… but you don't want to die, I guess." Veronica sighed. "I'm bad at this."

"Nah, come on, babe, you're good at this," Geoff said. "It's just… kinda' scary. But don't worry, I can do this!"

"That's the right attitude," Veronica said. "Wish I had it."

"You can get it," Geoff said, pounding his chest. "Just comes from here, ya' know?"

"Not really," Veronica said, then looked down into the water, and jumped, with Geoff following after.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Veronica: First of all, Bridgette, if you were to put a hit on me after talking to Geoff, I wouldn't blame you. And second, it was pretty much win-win, anyway. Either I could be happy that I actually made the jump, or I'd be dead. No real downside.

* * *

"You are certifiably insane if you believe that I will actually jump," Walter said.

Izzy jumped onto Walter's chest, grabbing him by the shirt. "**Who told you?**"

"I am not jumping, and anyone else with the least amount of sanity will follow suit in not jumping."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (shudders) I do detest the thought of being associated with Walter for not jumping.

Gwen: (shrugging) If he didn't want to jump, I wasn't going to force him.

* * *

"And this one time, Katie and I just found the absolute cutest outfit!" Sadie exclaimed, while Alistair was holding his ears tight. "It was green, which was different from our usual pink color scheme, but we were both on this 'save the planet' kick, and Katie said 'hey, let's get this,' and I was like 'oh my God, we totally should,' and Katie was like 'eeeiii,' and I was like 'eeeiii,' but then, we noticed that none of the stock came in my size, so we went to find the manager, and-"

Sadie screamed as Alistair violently pushed her off the cliff, with Alistair laughing from the top, looking over. Until Katie stormed over and kicked him in the balls, causing Alistair to immediately clutch them as he fell over the cliff himself.

"You **do not **mess with my Sadie," Katie said ominously, down the cliff.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: That was uncalled for! What did I do to that snot-nosed brat, anyway?

Noah: (hugging Katie, patting her back) There, there. Don't let him get to you.  
Katie: (crying) He pushed Sadie over the cliff, like… he hated her.

* * *

"We can do this easily, Ezekiel," Ulysses said, putting him hand on Ezekiel's shoulder. "Just a simple jump.

"I don't really want to, eh?" Ezekiel said, nervous.

"I said get your screaming pansy-ass down that cliff, and that's an order, soldier!" Ulysses barked. "Or so help me I'll push you down there myself!" Ulysses tried pushing Ezekiel, but to no avail. After a few minutes, Ulysses sighed. "I obviously need more training. Shame on you for not being a man, though." Ulysses looked over the edge of the cliff. "Does it count if I jump without Ezekiel?"

"No," Izzy said, irritated.

"I wasn't asking you, stupid girl!" Ulysses yelled. "I was asking someone with half a brain, you idjit!" Ulysses then dove into the water below.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ulysses: Where's Chris? Where's the real host, really? Why do we have some brain-dead cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs girl in charge here?

* * *

Rachel gulped as she looked down the cliff. "I think I'll pass this one."

"What?" Rain asked, glaring at Rachel. "Chicken?"

"Well, yeah," Rachel said, nervous. "It's a pretty long fall. I wouldn't want to hurt myself. That wouldn't be good for, well, me."

"I didn't get replaced by some snotty Daddy's girl who can't get her hands a little dirty, you're going!" Rain screamed, grabbing Rachel forcefully as she jumped into the water.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: (slapping her forehead) OK, that was a really stupid way of getting her to lose.

Katrina: I feel bad for all the abuse Rachel's taking from Rain. If only Rain were named Karen, or something, then… I'd be in the same shape I'm in now, really. Rachel doesn't deserve it, though.

* * *

"Are you OK?" Jennie asked DJ, patting his arm, as he looked scared to death over the cliff.

"I'm… good?" DJ asked weakly.

"We don't have to do this," Jennie said, smiling. "I don't want you to feel pressured."

"Thanks, but I can do this," DJ said, with a determined look on his face. "I can do this! I will do this!" DJ was about to jump, but then stopped short, and shook his head. "I can't do this."

Jennie walked over and pat DJ on the back. "It's OK."

"No it's not!" Todd yelled, pushing DJ over the cliff, and DJ screamed all the way down to the lake. "Our team will win!"

"What was that for?" Jennie yelled angrily, then jumped down into the lake herself.

"We can't have everyone on our team chicken out, of which I will be one of them," Todd said, grinning. "Like I would risk this insane jump."

"Oh, but you are!" Katie yelled, angry, kicking Todd in the balls, then gently pushing him over the cliff. Katie then went over to the edge of the cliff, leaning down with her hands on her hips. "But all for nothing, since I'm not jumping with you, so ha!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: OK, what was the point of Katie pushing me over the cliff if she wasn't going to jump as well? I didn't get any credit for that insane jump since she didn't jump as well!

* * *

"Hello, hello, hello," Charlotte sang, with Xuxa looking a bit irritated. "Hello, hello, hello! Hello, hello, hello! It's time for Xuxa and her friends!"

"I really hate that song," Xuxa said. "Isn't there anything else you know?"

"I don't know any of her other songs," Charlotte said.

"They don't have to be Xuxa songs," Xuxa said. "Just please, not that song."

Charlotte smirked. "It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all…"

"That's an improvement," Xuxa said, smiling. "Ready to jump?"

"Oh, yes!" Charlotte exclaimed, as the two leapt over the cliff, into the water below.

"Ooh, that looks like fun, Noah!" Ophelia exclaimed.

"A blast," Noah stated. "So much that I'm really hoping you aren't going to force me to jump as well."

"Oh, but of course I am!" Ophelia exclaimed, with a huge grin.

"I doubt Katie would let you force me," Noah said.

Katie shrugged. "I like Ophelia. I give thee permission to do with Noah as you please." Katie tapped her chin. "Except for making out with him! That's not allowed."

Ophelia saluted Katie. "I shall follow your rules!" Ophelia then grabbed Noah's arm and spun around in circles, making them both dizzy, threw a hula hoop around Noah, threw a water balloon at him, then dragged him over the cliff to jump into the lake below.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Noah: Where did that freak even get that water balloon from?

Ophelia: (rolling her eyes) The water balloon made for good practice for getting dunked into the lake. Duh.

* * *

"I'm a bit nervous, guys," George said, holding his cane in front of him as he walked around. "I'm really not a big fan of this whole 'jumping to my doom' thing. Could someone tell me how to get back down?"

"You're facing the right way," Beth said. "Just follow my voice."

"Turn around?" George asked, turning in the other direction, pounding his cane before his every step. "All right!"

"No, you're heading the wrong way!" Beth called out. "You're going to fall!"

"I'm almost there, so don't worry," George said, until he ultimately felt an abyss before him, and then stepped off, plummeting into the lake below.

"George!" Beth cried out, and jumped in after him.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: Yes, believe it or not, I'm a great swimmer. Just need someone around so I don't bump my head. Hope I didn't scare Beth too much.

Beth: That was so mean! I was so worried about George!

* * *

"You'll look so extra pretty after you get cleaned up and wet in the water," Margo said cheerfully to Nicole, who sighed.

"Uh, thank you," Nicole said. Nicole walked to the edge of the cliff, about to jump.

"Good luck hug!" Margo exclaimed, grabbing Nicole by the waist, startling her, and she tumbled into the lake after Margo let go. "I don't think you were supposed to hit your head on the rock, though!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (holding an ice pack to her head) I fear that Margo will be the death of me.

* * *

Elizabeth stood away from the cliff, nervous. "Are you all right?" Cody asked, a bit concerned.

"I'm fine," Elizabeth said.

"So, ready to jump off the cliff?"

"No."

"It's OK if you're afraid to-"

"I ain't afraid, OK?" Elizabeth yelled. "I just don't wanna' jump."

Cody gulped. "That's OK. Not jumping is cool. I'm down with that."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Cody: You know, you'd think a murderer wouldn't be so afraid of jumping off that cliff. Then again, I've never killed anyone, so I'm not exactly an expert on the subject.

* * *

"And that's everyone," Izzy said, then looked over to Katrina, who was doing a decent job of wrestling Justin from her wheelchair. "Almost everyone, that is. Are you jumping?"

"No," Justin said, bitter.

"Yes, we are!" Katrina yelled.

"You can't make me do this!" Justin yelled.

"I can die trying!" Katrina yelled back, dragging Justin as she rolled the chair to the top of the cliff, then flung herself over, dragging Justin down with her.

"Wow," Izzy said, looking somewhat amazed. "I've got to give her props."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: Was Justin always this bad? What happened to that nice, quiet guy, who also happened to be ridiculously hot? I liked him. (Katrina narrows her eyes.) I don't like this new Justin.

* * *

"Congratulations to those of you who have survived," Izzy said, standing before Alistair and Sadie, Candice and Bridgette, Danielle and Duncan, George and Beth, Jennie and DJ, Katrina and Justin, Nicole and Margo, Ophelia and Noah, Rachel and Rain, Veronica and Geoff, and Xuxa and Charlotte. "But now, I'm afraid two more teams will be eliminated, for it's time for the Awake-a-Thon!" Izzy exclaimed. Now, the regular way of doing it takes way too much time, so I'm just going to make boom boom with a sleeping gas bomb here, and whichever contestant hits the ground first is out, along with the contestant paired with the veteran who hits the ground first."

"That sounds completely fair," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"We're on a schedule," Izzy said. "And now, Explosivo makes with the boom boom!" Izzy pulled out a large detonator, and pushed the plunger in, and there was a slight fog, but almost immediately, everyone started falling asleep, and falling to the ground.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Noah: That could've gone better had Izzy, oh, I dunno', remembered to bring a gas mask for herself? Not make everyone wait for her to finally wake up? (Noah shakes his head.)

* * *

"This is boring," Courtney complained, watching Danielle and Duncan lying asleep on the ground, closely.

"I don't think we have to stay and watch," Stephanie said.

"Oh, I do," Courtney said, narrowing her eyes toward Danielle and Duncan.

"They're sleeping," Stephanie said. "I don't think they're up to anything." Courtney sighed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Courtney: I know that Danielle likes Duncan-I mean, who wouldn't. And she's my friend, so I probably should trust her. Someone who's my friend would never betray me like that, right? For some reason, I just have this awful feeling in the back of my mind that a friend would do that to me.

* * *

"So, wanna' make out?" Duncan asked, wiggling his eyebrow as he was slowly waking up.

"Sure," Danielle said, half sleeping. "So sexy, so want you, so-" Danielle quickly shook herself wide awake. "No!" Danielle smacked Duncan and shot straight up. "No I will not!"

"Don't hit him!" Courtney yelled.

Danielle nervously turned to Courtney. "I'm sorry, it's just… I'm sorry."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: This is a very difficult tightrope to walk. Duncan keeps flirting with me-though I guess I can't blame him, being so perfect as I am-but I don't want to hurt the closest person I have to a friend here. But Courtney gets upset when I hurt Duncan, so it's… hard. Who knew having actual friends could be so hard?

* * *

"So who won?" Nicole asked, slowly getting herself up. "Or who lost?"

"I think we both won!" Margo exclaimed, picking Nicole up quickly, which led to her soon dizzily falling back to the ground. "Oops. Sorry. Let me help you-"

"I'm good, I'm good!" Nicole said, nervous.

"This is a pretty stupid challenge, anyway," Rachel said, dusting herself off as she picked herself up. "Declaring a loser by how quickly they fell to the ground after falling asleep? What kind of ridiculous challenge is that, anyway?"

"The **shut the hell up **kind!" Rain yelled, making a fist after quickly getting up. "You do not get to complain! You're lucky you even got on this stupid show!"

"My face!" Justin shouted, feeling his cheek. "I think… I think I feel a scuff mark!"

"You'll live," Katrina said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I must admit, Justin was very good at hiding his true self back in the first season. Granted, it likely helps that he didn't last very long, but now, I'm starting to think Heather had the right idea in getting rid of him when she did.

* * *

"We have the tape!" Alyssa said, as she and Elli rolled out a television screen and VCR on a tall stand. "We've got exactly who fell to the ground first!"

"She got an advantage, though!" Danielle complained, pointing to Katrina. "She wasn't going to fall to the ground! She was faking it in that wheelchair."

"I am not faking being injured here!" Katrina yelled.

"That doesn't matter," Alyssa said. "She actually stayed awake longer than anyone else, anyway." Alyssa pressed the play button, and all of the current and former contestants still in the game could be seen. As some started to fall, Alyssa started to advance the video frame by frame, until someone's head hit the ground. Alyssa pointed to Candice on the screen. "And that, my friends, is the first knockdown."

Candice hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry I let you down, Bridgette."

"I'm not actually competing for the million, you know," Bridgette said, patting Candice on the back. "No one's going to blame you for just… falling before everyone else."

"I will!" Danielle shouted. "She's obviously used to going down fast!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Courtney: (wide-eyed) I'll definitely need to talk to Danielle a bit more. I mean, Candice may be a dirty slut, but… well, that might have been a little out of line.

* * *

"Danielle, shut up," Bridgette said, glaring at her.

"See?" Danielle shouted, starting to cry. "Everyone always picks on me!"

"Get over it!" Nicole shouted.

"Aww, are you OK?" George asked, walking over to comfort Danielle.

Danielle used George's shirt as a handkerchief and blew her nose into his sleeve. "Everybody's being mean to me."

"You just need to rise above your haters, beautiful gorgeous," George said, smiling.

Danielle sniffled, then clung to George. "Thanks."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I wish George could actually, you know, see how beautiful I truly am, but I'll take what I can get.

Alistair: I have to hand it to George: that was very well played. Of course, I would have done the same if I weren't so groggy at the time.

* * *

"Yeah, don't let anyone bother you," Ophelia said, looking and sounding more serious than usual. "Everyone deserves to be happy, even whiny, annoying, egotistical yet beautiful girls!"

"Thanks," Danielle muttered, looking displeased.

"Well, it's true," Ophelia said, walking closer to her. "I like you. You're not that nice, but you're just kinda' lonely and determined. I like that."

"But I am nice," Danielle said, starting to cry again. "I'm the nicest person I know."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: Stupid lousy white girl tears. It's kind of sad that George can't actually see that's she's not as down and out as she's making it appear. No one cares when I cry, though! It's always just suck it up! (Isis uses finger quotes.) "Those people" are really good at sucking it up. (Isis gags for the camera.) I hate it! (Isis starts to cry.)

Ophelia: I hate getting all serious and boring, but I feel kinda' bad for Danielle. And I know how irritating she can be, but I don't think she's that bad, really. (Ophelia looks at the camera, then licks it.) OK, I had to do that, I was getting sick of being so serious.

Katrina: I'm glad someone likes Danielle. Everyone deserves a friend, and frankly, I'm happy that she's got someone on her side, at least. I don't know if I would have the patience.

* * *

Alyssa advanced the tape. "And Rain, you hit the ground before any of the other non-contestants, so you and Rachel are out."

"**What?**" Rain bellowed.

"A few frames before Justin hit the ground," Alyssa pointed out, then turned to Elli. "Which, by the way, means you owe me twenty dollars."

Elli shrugged, then took out a twenty dollar bill from her hat. "You've earned it fair and square."

"So, it's not my fault we lost," Rachel said, grinning, with her hands on her hips, looking to Rain.

"Of course it's your fault!" Rain screamed. "You made me lose my concentration!" Rachel smiled uncomfortably, then ran off, with Rain chasing her.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elli: I let Alyssa win, of course. She's fourteen. I didn't want to go too hard on her.

Rain: Why is she even on the show? All she is is a new Heather! No one liked the old Heather! That's probably why she's the only old contestant who isn't back this season to help Izzy. Eva shouldn't be here either, though. (Rain pounds her fists together.)

* * *

"Hide and seek! Hide and seek!" Izzy exclaimed, clapping her hands together, standing before Alistair and Sadie, Danielle and Duncan, George and Beth, Jennie and DJ, Katrina and Justin, Nicole and Margo, Ophelia and Noah, Veronica and Geoff, and Xuxa and Charlotte. "This will be your last challenge. There is no base." Izzy took out a giant water gun. "If either of your team gets blasted, you're out. Last pair standing gets first place for their team. The first team to lose all of their members here will face elimination tonight. You have ten minutes, so good luck!" Izzy closed her eyes and stuck her fingers in her ears, screaming "**la la la**."

"I know where we can make out," Duncan said to Danielle, wiggling his eyebrow.

"I don't know about this," Danielle said, rubbing her arm. "I don't think Courtney would like it if we ran off and hid together."

Courtney smiled. "I could hide with you. I don't think Izzy would mind. I'd feel better about it if I could keep an eye on you two."

Danielle smiled, then glomped Courtney. "You're the second best, after me!"

"I know," Courtney said. "Could you let go, though?" Danielle quickly let go, looking embarrassed.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: Courtney and Danielle, sittin' in a tree, eatin' peanut butter, kissin' each other… wait. (Ophelia scratches her head.) I think I got something mixed up there.

* * *

"It's comfortable," Candice said, fanning herself, to Bridgette, with Izzy still with her eyes closed, covering her ears, and 'la la'-ing to herself nearby. "It's hot, and I don't like all this heat. You have to be hot in that hoodie."

"I don't really have anything under it, though," Bridgette said, blushing. "Well, except my bra."

"It's comfy, I promise!" Candice exclaimed.

"It is a little hot," Bridgette said, smiling. "But maybe somewhere a little more private, at least?"

"Take it off!" Walter shouted, standing nearby.

"OK, I don't really blame you," Candice said. "I'm used to the catcalls. Probably not a good thing."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: We found someplace a little more quiet-Walter only followed us a few feet before he ran out of breath-and she actually did strip down. I didn't look, though, since she seemed a little uncomfortable still. I totally have a girl crush on her, though!

* * *

"This is like a totally awesome hiding place!" Ophelia exclaimed, then shivered. "A bit chilly, though."

"Why are we hiding in the refrigerator, anyway?" Noah shouted. "Could we not have at least unplugged it first?"

"And spoil all the food?" Ophelia asked, shaking her head. "Show some consideration."

"Yes, because you're a paragon of virtue yourself!" Noah shouted.

Izzy opened the refrigerator door, shaking her head. "There you guys are! You know, when you're playing hide and seek, it's usually a good idea not to be noisy." Izzy whipped out her water gun. "And now, prepare to die!"

"How do we get out, how do we get out?" Noah yelled in fear, crushed tight below Ophelia, both of them twisted up.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (iced together with Noah) I've never felt closer to you.  
Noah: I've never felt colder toward you.  
(Ophelia kisses Noah somewhat passionately, with Noah trying to scream, shaking violently.)  
Noah: What the hell was that?  
Ophelia: I… thought this was the scene where the guy and the girl, after hurling insults on how much they hate each other, kiss each other.  
Noah: **No!  
**Ophelia: (blushing) I'm sorry. I misread the signs.  
Noah: I like Katie!  
Ophelia: I'd be up for a threesome!

* * *

"I know where we can hide!" Sadie exclaimed, with Alistair holding his ears.

"Not interested!" Alistair shouted. "You're too stupid to possibly come up with a decent hiding place!"

Sadie smirked. "I don't see you coming up with a good place."

"That's because I'm still thinking!" Alistair shouted. "And I can't think if you keep talking!"

"But I can hear you!" Izzy exclaimed. "Gotcha'!

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Sadie: I had the best hiding place idea, and nooo, he wouldn't listen! (Sadie angrily crosses her arms over her chest.)  
Katie: That was a really good hiding place idea you had, Sadie. He's just a poopyhead.  
Noah: Seriously, I'm impressed. I wish I'd have thought of that. Might have been able to talk Ophelia out of her stupid refrigerator idea.  
Katie: (smirking) Need help warming up?  
Noah: (smiling slightly) Yes.  
Katie: Group hug! (Katie and Sadie hug Noah tight.)  
Noah: Not what I meant, not what I meant!

* * *

"This was our idea first!" Jennie shouted, from the top of a tree in the forest.

"It was our idea first!" Xuxa yelled, from the same tree. "You're just jealous 'cause I thought of it first."

"It was my idea, I thought," Charlotte said.

"Not important," Xuxa said.

"Maybe we could find another tree," DJ said.

"But I like this tree," Jennie said, caressing the leaves. "This tree just called out to me. It wanted me. You're a good tree, yes you are, yes you are!"

"Hey, is there a party I hear?" Geoff asked, looking up, alongside Veronica. "We could totes use a party!"

"It's not a party, it's my tree," Jennie said. "Go find your own hiding place."

"It's our tree!" Xuxa yelled.

"I think we're invited!" Geoff exclaimed, pumping his first.

"I don't think it's a party," Veronica said.

"I think you're all out, though!" Izzy exclaimed, pumping her gun.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: It's Xuxa's fault for attracting all that attention! Why couldn't she just leave me, DJ, and my tree alone? She's got issues.

Veronica: So I lost. That's what I expected, really, but Geoff wasn't so bad to hang around with. I probably deserved someone worse, but I won't complain. (Veronica smiles slightly.)

* * *

"I'm trusting you," George said, hiding behind a rock, not very well. "I've never been good at hide and seek."

"I'm not really that good, either," Beth said, then sighed. "I can never think of a good place to hide. I don't know how some people do it."

"That's not a very good place," Izzy said, pumping her gun. Then she sighed, put the gun back in her skirt, and took out a cheap plastic half-foot long squirt gun. "You're out."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: You know, I was expecting Izzy to use a scarier, more forceful water gun than that. Not that I'm complaining!

* * *

"I'm not comfortable," Justin whined, someplace very dark.

"Shut up," Katrina whispered. "It's the perfect hiding place

"What if they eat us?" Justin asked.

"These sharks love you, they won't eat you," Katrina whispered. "Now keep quiet!"

"You can't make me stay in here!" Justin yelled. "I'm out of here."

"You're staying!" Katrina whispered loudly, trying to keep Justin inside the shark's mouth.

"I'm quitting!" Justin yelled, opening the shark's mouth.

"You really aren't that nice, are you?" Katrina asked, narrowing her eyes.

"No, I'm not," Justin said. "Especially to ugly girls! And you're not very nice yourself-you'll want to work on that if you ever want to find a guy. At least Beth's got the whole nice thing going for her!" Justin pulled away and swam out the shark's mouth. Katrina followed angrily, but bit her lip when the shark chomped down on her leg.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room!**

Katrina: **AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!**

Izzy: That… made it very easy to find Katrina. I used the cheap plastic gun, at least. And brought her to the infirmary. I really thought Justin might be nicer. Beth's still got some work to do on him, methinks. She's doing all right, though she's still having trouble walking. Get better, Katrina.

Selena: I'm not even in this story, and I heard that. I really, really hope it was Courtney, though!

* * *

"Can't we just hide already?" Duncan complained.

"No," Danielle said. "We need to find where everyone else is hiding, to lead Izzy toward them when we make our escape."

"It's a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself," Courtney said.

"I think I see Nicole and Margo up that tree," Danielle said, smirking. "Duncan, would-I mean, Courtney, could you ask Duncan if he has his chainsaw with him?"

"Thank you for remembering not to ask him directly," Courtney said. "Duncan, do you-"

"I heard it the first time," Duncan complained, taking out a chainsaw. "Of course I brought it with me."

Danielle smirked. "Courtney, could you ask Duncan to fell the tree for me?"

Courtney smirked as well. "Duncan, could you-"

"Yes, yes, alright already," Duncan said, rolling his eyes, as he took the chainsaw to the tree. Courtney and Danielle both looked bizarrely excited to watch.

"What's going on?" Margo shouted. "Is the sky falling?"

"No," Nicole said, glaring down at the trio below. "They're cutting down the tree!"

Margo shook her head. "Jennie would be so disappointed with them."

"Who cares, we're in the tree!" Nicole yelled. "Look, we'll come down if you stop, OK?"

"No way!" Duncan exclaimed.

"Duncan!" Courtney yelled as she slapped his face.

"Fine," Duncan grumbled. "You never let me have any fun."

"Thank you for letting us live," Nicole said, as she climbed down the tree.

"See how nice I am?" Danielle asked, sounding somewhat desperate.

"Oh, yeah," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "The cream of the crop."

"Thank you!" Danielle exclaimed, glomping Nicole.

"Could you let go?" Nicole asked, annoyed.

"Ooh, lookie what I found!" Izzy exclaimed, pumping her gun.

"We're outta' here!" Margo exclaimed, as she grabbed Nicole's hand and rushed off before anyone realized what had happened.

"Wait, where did they go?" Danielle asked.

"Never mind that, run!" Courtney shouted, trying to push Danielle and Duncan forward. They couldn't outrun Izzy and her gun, though, as the three were blasted into a tree.

"Score!" Izzy exclaimed, pumping her fist.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Margo: (smiling cute) I'm a fast runner. And I loved finally being able to help out without messing up! Yay me! (Margo claps cutely.)

Courtney: (dripping wet, holding her head) Was it **really necessary **to blast us so hard, Izzy?

Izzy: Yes.

* * *

Izzy paced before the contestants, gathered in front of the cabins, with Nicole and Margo smiling nervously in front of everyone. "You all have played admirably. Some of you more so than others." Izzy took a medal and put it around Nicole's neck. "And Nicole, you have survived when others have failed, and as such, Team Moon has earned first place! Congratulations."

"Thank you," Nicole said.

"I'm sorry my hosting duties prevented you for partnering with your favorite contestant," Izzy said, then glomped Nicole.

"Margo actually helped," Nicole said, smiling.

Izzy looked toward Team Amazon. "And you guys lost, I'm sorry to say."

"His fault," Katrina said, disgusted, with a newly bandaged leg, pointing to Justin.

"She wanted me to help her," Justin said, disgusted. "And do things I didn't really want to do just to help her win."

"OK, I'm tired of you," Rachel said, gnashing her teeth, and walked up and kicked Justin in the shin.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: I don't like Rachel, but I do have to respect her a little bit for standing up for her friend like that.

* * *

"It's Katrina's fault we lost," Alistair said. "It's that simple. We get rid of her, we become a better team!"

"Didn't she last longer than the rest of us?" Percy asked. "That's actually pretty hot."

Alistair slapped his own face in frustration. "It's bad enough when you want to make out with actual beautiful girls, much less the chewing gum stuck to your shoe."

"I'm not picky," Percy said, then pointed to Walter. "Unlike some people."

"Cleansing my deviated septum of debris aids with my breathing, as I happen to quite enjoy breathing," Walter said, removing his finger from his nose. "It allows me mock those beneath me."

"It's pretty gross," Percy said. "Why don't we just vote you out?"

"We need the numbers, and Katrina is a total bitch," Alistair said. "As I recall, she demolished New Orleans, after all."

"You're kidding," Frederique said, unimpressed. "I find her annoying, what with encouraging Rachel and Xuxa to annoy me to death, but you did not just compare her to a hurricane."

"She treated me like a poor person!" Alistair snapped. "For the good of the team, we must eliminate her!"

"As distasteful as I find the analogy, I must concur with his conclusion," Walter said. "Katrina did cause our team to lose, so it is appropriate for her to leave us."

"She didn't make us lose, though," Percy said, again.

"She was the last one out, ergo, our team did not lose until she was eliminated," Walter said. "Even a nitwit like you should be able to follow such simple logic."

"Wasn't it Justin's fault, anyway?" Percy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That matters not," Walter said. "The loss has sullied Katrina's hands, regardless."

"And we seem to have someone spying on us," Frederique said, pointing to a boy wearing a green beret. "Which team is he on?"

"He's going to be dead if I get my hands on him!" Alistair yelled as he started chasing Zack away.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: Well, whoever that spy was is locked away in the Punishment Room now, good riddance. I will not allow anyone to compromise my ultimate victory, and no one will spy on me!

Izzy: (watching a videotape of Alistair's confessional) Ooh, spying on you is fun! And putting Fluffernutter between my toes is fun! (Izzy lifts her legs for the camera, holding a wolf pup with her feet.) But last-minute jokes are the best!

* * *

"Xuxa, I do not like you," Rachel said, along with Xuxa, standing near the front of the forest, and Katrina, still bandaged up, sitting in her wheelchair. "We're also outnumbered four to three, and we're going to be picked off one by one."

"If they start with you, it won't be so bad," Xuxa said, grinning.

"I'm an easy scapegoat doing well for them, it won't be me," Rachel said. "It'll probably be Katrina. Think about it: the guys aren't exactly nice and friendly and looking for team morale. They're looking to crush and destroy anyone who gets in their way, and they're going to want to crush the person who's forcing you and I to tolerate one another, and that's Katrina."

"I wish you two could get along without me," Katrina said, then sighed.

"That isn't about to happen," Rachel said. "Still, I think we can agree that we wish to keep you here. And we wish you would pick a side on the Frederique debate already."

"My side!" Xuxa exclaimed, oddly excited.

"I really don't want to have to choose sides," Katrina said.

"Understandable," Rachel said. "I don't like it, but it's an understandable decision on your part, though I will continue hoping I can change your mind later on. Still, we need to get rid of one of the guys."

"Not Frederique!" Xuxa shouted, then glared at Rachel. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Um, duh," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "Why would I want to get rid of him?"

"Zack?" Katrina asked.

"Who?" Rachel asked, confused, then shook her head. "No, Walter. He's useless. He doesn't add anything to our team."

"And he's fairly ugly," Katrina said, smirking.

"Well, yeah," Rachel said, looking embarrassed. "Seriously, is a little personal hygiene too much to ask for?"

"It's still three votes against five, though," Katrina said. "That won't be enough."

"Oh, but it will be," Rachel said, with a mischievous grin, tapping her fingers together. "It will be. Bah ha ha ha!"

"Um, OK, what was that?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My evil laughter," Rachel said, protruding her chest out with her hands on her hips. "You like?"

"You might want to get a bit of practice on that," Katrina said, smiling innocently.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I hope this works. If I leave tonight, there's little chance of Rachel and Xuxa getting along, and they will inevitably be picked off. I would hate to see that happen. I would flirt with Percy myself to get his vote, but let's face it, he wouldn't be interested in a girl who looks like me, or like Xuxa, and I'm so sorry for saying that, girl! Girls like us just need to find a guy who will appreciate us for our minds.

* * *

"Percy," Rachel said seductively, as she saw Percy standing by himself, as she walked over toward him. "Just the guy I wanted to see." Rachel started rubbing beneath his chin.

Percy was grinning like mad. "It's nice of you to notice me." Percy started making a muscle with his arm.

Rachel giggled cutely, then started walking her fingers on his forearm. "My, how… sexy."

"It's all natural, baby," Percy said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Percy, then touched his nose. "I was hoping I could ask you for a little… favor."

"Anything you want," Percy said, drooling a bit.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (slapping her tongue) Eww, eww, eww, eww, eww!

Alistair: Katrina's rich enough, anyway. She doesn't need anymore money. She already has enough to level any other city of her choosing.

Frederique: Katrina wouldn't be so bad if she'd stop encouraging Rachel and Xuxa. They're just so annoying! Seriously, is Katrina so stupid to not realize that I don't like them?

Katrina: (grinning as she waved to the camera) Buh-bye Walter. It was… well, not that nice knowing you. You were pretty disgusting, really.

* * *

That night, the eight members of Team Amazon sat in comfortable chairs around the campfire, as Izzy and Bridgette stood behind Izzy's podium. "Good evening," Izzy stated, in a somewhat spooky tone. "Your team has lost, and as such, you must be punished."

"That really wasn't my fault," Katrina said, attempting to lift a finger while cast up. "I've been beaten up by faulty chairs, contractors, and Justin, who is no longer my favorite of the old cast."

"If you've been voted off, I will give these guys hell, I can assure you," Rachel stated, then turned back to the other contestants, glaring at them.

"Some people always blame the last person to lose for the loss of the team," Izzy said, shaking her head. "I think that's stupid, but a lot of people subscribe to that belief."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (polishing her nails) Say what you will about me-everyone does-but I will not turn my back on a friend in need. I have every intention of taking Katrina to the final three with me. (Rachel blushes.) Along with Frederique.

* * *

Izzy motioned to a plate of alphabet blocks Bridgette was holding. "If I call your name, you are safe, and may come up to collect your alphabet block from Bridgette. But if you do not receive a block, then you have lost, and must immediately leave the island."

"Take the Dock of Shame to the Boat of Losers, yada yada," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "We all know how it works."

"Where is the Boat of Losers, anyway?" Katrina asked, noticing the lack of boat by the dock.

Izzy grinned. "Rachel, you are safe."

"Well, of course I was safe," Rachel said, rolling her eyes as she walked up to collect a block from Bridgette. "Like anyone in their right mind would've voted for me."

"A mistake on our part," Alistair said, narrowing his eyes toward her.

"Alistair, you're safe, too," Izzy said, uninterested.

"Frederique."

"Percy."

"Xuxa."

Katrina and Walter were left sitting in their seats, with Katrina visibly nervous, and Walter looking quite satisfied. "Let's just hurry this up and proclaim my safety so I can get something to eat already."

"Did we miscount?" Bridgette asked, scratching her head. "I think we're missing a contestant."

Izzy shrugged. "We'll worry about it later. But right now, Katrina and Walter should be worried. Walter, you chickened out almost immediately, and mocked your fellow contestants."

"It was for my own amusement, I assure you," Walter said.

Izzy smiled at Katrina. "Katrina, you're a really nice girl-"

"Cough, liar, cough," Alistair said, glaring at Katrina. Rachel smacked the back of his head.

"I'm really sorry about Justin, and your luck in general," Izzy said. "I really hope we can get you back into the game and give you another chance, and… you know, I'm feeling bad for you, so I won't draw out the suspense, Katrina, you're safe."

"You're kidding," Alistair said, irritated. "That's not possible! Five guys versus their sucky three friendship thing… how in the hell could Katrina be safe?"

"I'm not moving from this spot," Walter said. "Try as you may, your strongest men cannot lift me from this admittedly comfortable seat."

"I was hoping you would say that," Izzy said, grinning, as she cracked her knuckles, then took out a remote with a large red button, which ejected Walter high into the sky, though Walter was oddly silent. "Aww, phooey, no screaming. I am disappoint."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Nice to know Percy is someone I can rely on… but the answer's still no!

* * *

Rachel smirked as she waved her fingers toward Alistair. "You guys should be afraid! Our alliance will crush you!" Rachel shook a fist. "We shall be the alliance to end all alliances!"

"Aren't you forgetting the maniacal laughter?" Alistair asked, angry?

"I didn't forget," Rachel said. "Just need to practice it a bit more."

"Did we really want to advertise that, though?" Katrina asked, sitting in her wheelchair next to Rachel, concerned.

"Yes," Rachel said smugly, with her hands on her hips. "I want everyone to know who's in charge here." Rachel poked her thumb into her chest. "Me!"

* * *

**Confession Vending**** Machine Room**

Katrina: Hello, huge target on my back.

* * *

"And so ends another thrilling episode," Izzy said, as she held the wolf pup in her arms, petting it.

"Is that safe, Izzy?" Bridgette asked. "Are you sure it's mother isn't around?"

"Don't worry, it's a rental," Izzy said.

Bridgette's eyes grew wide. "Where exactly can you rent wolf pups, I'm almost afraid to ask."

"I have my sources," Izzy said, with a big smile. "But for now, we are without Walter, and with that, we wept." Izzy shook her head, then started cackling. "Yeah, right! I don't care that much, really! But you might care who gets kicked off next time, so ooh, don't want to miss that, nope nope nope! So find out what surprises we have in store next time, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

Bridgette shook her head. "Really, that doesn't sound right to me. Renting out wolf pups?"

Izzy shrugged. "Amazing what you can find online, really."

* * *

**Votes**

Alistair: Katrina  
Frederique: Katrina  
Katrina: Walter  
Percy: Walter  
Rachel: Walter  
Walter: Katrina  
Xuxa: Walter

Walter: 4  
Katrina: 3

Losers: Leanne, Walter

Remaining Team Amazon: Alistair, Frederique, Katrina, Percy, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Remaining Team Himalayas: Bob, Candice, Danielle, George, Isis, Ophelia, Ulysses, Yancy  
Remaining Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

* * *

And already, someone other than someone completely detestable has gone. Walter was funny, but not particularly important. And he's gone. Sorry for those of you who are disappointed.

Selena and Fluffernutter, property of **Kelsica2**.


	7. Day 4, Part 1: C is for Dr Clause

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 7: Day 4: Part 1: C is for Dr. Clause**

"Come in," a woman with a deep, echoing voice said after hearing a knock on the door. Chris Maclaine peeked in, gulped, and slowly approached, walking down the red carpet, surrounded by a virtual jungle on either side, making his way toward the woman, sitting behind a large desk. The woman could not be seen, as she had her big chair turned away: all that could be seen are her two hands, both of which had large metal gloves on. She pressed her hands in front of her unseen face, at least Chris was guessing. "You have one minute."

"The show, I've seen it, and it's not that good," Chris said, rubbing his forehead. "Izzy's terrible, Bridgette's an idiot, the contestants all suck, except for way too few of them, and the good ones are getting voted out left and right!"

"Leanne sucked," the woman said. "Why did we ever think he would make for a fun contestant?"

"His name," Chris said. "When he mentioned his name being Leanne, you were rolling out of your seat."

"That was stupid on my part," the woman said, tapping the arm of her chair. "There's only so much you can mine for that, though."

"Don't you remember how much gold we got out of Owen's one joke back in the first season?" Chris asked, smirking.

"Yes," the woman said. "But our youngest demographic finds fart jokes funny. They aren't nearly as big on an irritating boy who doesn't like his name."

"Still, we really need someone to stir up some drama there," Chris said. "Everyone's too nice and goody goody."

"I've heard that Katrina's stirred up quite a bit of drama," the woman said.

Chris tapped his chin. "Surprisingly, yes, Ms. Levac. But it's actually more just idiots creating drama and throwing her under a bus. I don't like her."

"I like her a lot."

"Favorite contestant!" Chris exclaimed nervously. "Still, I can't help but think that we could really use someone who could really stir up some drama." Chris smirked as he pulled out some papers.

"**NO!**" Ms. Levac yelled, in a booming voice.

Chris nervously looked at the bits of ceiling crumbling down. "But Penny-"

"**That's not my name!**" Ms. Levac screamed, shaking her fists. "**OUT!**" Chris gulped, then rushed out of the room. Ms. Levac put her hand to where her head likely was, then pulled out a picture frame.

* * *

Izzy and Ezekiel were making out on the Dock of Shame, mostly with Izzy leading, and Ezekiel going along with whatever Izzy wanted. Bridgette looked embarrassed, then turned to the camera. "We're rolling, guys."

"You can do it, Bridgette," Izzy stopped to say, then continued making out.

Bridgette smiled uncomfortably to the camera and started rocking on her feet, with her hands in her pockets. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _the contestants teamed up with all of your favorites from the first two seasons of the show-"

"Except me!" Izzy exclaimed, then put her mouth right back on Ezekiel.

"Yes, except Izzy," Bridgette said. "The contestants worked in pairs with their favorite contestant from the first two seasons to compete in three challenges from the first season. First, everyone had to dive off the thousand-foot cliff into piano-infested waters, though I'm pretty sure Izzy was just making that part up."

"Nuh-uh," Izzy said, shaking her head, as she stood up and took out a can labeled 'piano seed' She sprinkled some into the lake, and after a few seconds, a carnivorous grand piano opened its lid and started violently eating at the seed. The piano then dove back underwater.

Bridgette's jaw had dropped. "How… the-"

"Oh, don't worry, they can perform tricks," Izzy said. "One of them can even play 'Heart and Soul' on itself!"

"Well, it's one of the basics, but I guess that's still pretty impressive," Bridgette said.

"Basics?" Izzy asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"I mean, it is one of those songs everyone learns," Bridgette said, smiling nervously.

"I'm talking about T'Pau's "Heart and Soul," I just love that song!" Izzy exclaimed, bouncing onto Ezekiel.

Bridgette giggled, then turned back to the camera. "Anyway, the contestants had to compete in classic challenges from the first season. First, the contestants and partners had to jump off the thousand-foot cliff. But without the hot tub building part."

"You guys really sucked at that, you know that?" Izzy said, smiling.

Bridgette hung her head in shame. "We did." Bridgette looked back up and smiled. "After that bad reminder of a challenge, we had a… weird version of the Awake-a-Thon, I guess. Which didn't really make a whole lot of sense."

"The regular version took forever," Izzy said, waving dismissively to Bridgette. "This was quicker!"

"Well, I can't argue that point," Bridgette said. "The third challenge was the hide and seek challenge, with Izzy taking glee in shooting the contestants with her powerful water gun."

"It was fun!" Izzy exclaimed.

Bridgette shrugged. "Nicole outlasted everyone, and so Team Moon gets a nice stay at our nicest cabin. Team Amazon lost, though, and had to send one of their own members home. The boys tried to unite to get Katrina kicked off, but Rachel, who apparently has a nicer side to her, made some sort of deal with Percy, who turned against Walter, making him the second person voted off. I didn't care for Walter much, personally."

"His scent reminded me of Owen," Izzy said, fanning the air in front of her nose. "Not something one should strive for."

"I thought he seemed nice," Ezekiel said, a bit confused.

Izzy pat Ezekiel on the head. "You'll learn one day, but for now, it's time to start another exciting day, with another exciting challenge! Yippee!" Izzy exclaimed, clapping her hands. "And in our fourth exciting day, we are going to have a third person voted off, but who?" Izzy put her hands to her cheeks, feigning a shocked expression, then cackled to herself, grinning big. "You'll just have to wait to find out, but not for too long, 'cause it's coming up right now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

* * *

"So you're the big hero," Stephanie said, extending her hand to Nicole to shake. "Congratulations. I suppose it would only be right to allow you your choice of room."

"I think she should take the first room on the left," Todd suggested. "It's the nicest room."

Nicole raised an eyebrow. "I think I'll pass on that room."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Ooh, she's good. It's like she somehow knew that I'd booby trapped the room. Emphasis on the "booby." Sneaking a hidden camera in the room, so I could see her in her glorious nakedness when she changed her clothes… it would have been quite the beautiful sight to behold.

* * *

"Veronica, would you like to room with me?" Nicole asked, smiling, holding Veronica's hands.

"I'm straight, sorry to disappoint you," Veronica said, shrugging.

Nicole looked worried. "I wasn't going to ask for sex or anything."

"Because I'm not good enough, I know," Veronica said, shrugging.

"You could sleep with me," Elizabeth said.

"I already told Nicole, I'm straight," Veronica said. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

Nicole smiled nervously to Elizabeth. "I'm sorry for that." Elizabeth smiled back, nodding.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: I'm a little disturbed by Veronica's complaints, really. And the weird assumption that Elizabeth is into girls. And I know it shouldn't be insulting to be asked if you're gay, but let's face it, the person asking usually means it as an insult.

Veronica: I've heard about prison. Everyone is always gay in those places. Good if you're into that, I suppose, but I'm not, and I wish Nicole and Elizabeth would respect my choice.

Stephanie: I don't understand why any of them would want to share a room with anyone else in the first place! Getting a peaceful, solitary night's sleep is part of the luxury that comes with the first place cabin.

* * *

"Would you like a roomie?" Jennie asked, smiling bright to Elizabeth.

"No thanks," Elizabeth said, shrugging. "Kinda' want a little alone time."

"Understandable," Jennie said, then turned to Nicole. "I could room with you!"

"It's OK," Nicole said, nervously shrugging. "I'll pass."

Jennie looked confused. "I thought you wanted a roomie?"

"I'm good," Nicole said, then coughed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (rubbing the back of her neck) Yeah, I've seen how Jennie yells at other people, and how much hatred she has for Bridgette. Didn't really want to deal with her.

* * *

"Dibs on the top bunk!" Candice exclaimed, as she leapt into the top bunk of one of the bunk beds in the second place cabin.

"I call dibs on the other top bunk, then," Danielle said, going toward the other bunk, where Isis was lying down, looking as if she were daydreaming, up at the ceiling. "Get down, now."

Isis blinked. "Why?"

"Because you are in my bed," Danielle said. "I called dibs on the top bunk, and here you are, lying in my bed."

Isis rolled her eyes. "I was here first."

Danielle stomped her foot. "But I called dibs! How can you not respect other people's dibs?"

"She's got a point," Ophelia said from the bunk below. "I heard her call dibs."

"Please tell me you aren't taking her side," Isis said, irritated, rubbing her forehead.

"I just said I heard her call dibs," Ophelia said, shrugging. "I didn't hear you call it."

"Of course not," Isis said. "I was already in the bed! Of course I didn't call dibs!"

"Well, it's only polite to move to a new bed," Ophelia said. "It's the rules of dibs."

"You're insane," Isis said flatly.

Ophelia grew a wide grin. "I try!"

Isis rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm not moving."

"She was there first," Candice said.

"We don't need your stupid blonde brain getting involved, thank you," Danielle stated.

Ophelia nervously looked around. "Danielle, I think you're blonde, too."

"I'm not a slut, though," Danielle said, glaring at Candice, then violently climbed into Isis' bed. "Give me that bed!"

"No!" Isis shouted, throwing Danielle to the ground. "Leave me alone! And Ophelia, stop kicking me!"

"But this is fun!" Ophelia exclaimed, kicking Ophelia's mattress repeatedly. "And besides, you stole the bed from Danielle."

"No I didn't!" Isis yelled, pulling at her braids. "**Fine!**" Isis leapt down from the bed, walking to the bunk below Candice, while glaring at Danielle. "I hope you're happy!"

"I am!" Danielle exclaimed cheerfully. "I got what I deserved!"

"You called dibs!" Ophelia exclaimed.

Isis was grumbling as she lay in the bottom bunk below Candice, when Candice peeked her head. "You want the top?"

"Not after you touched it, slut!" Isis yelled. Candice looked distraught, but simply pulled her head back up and lay silently in her bed.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: (hanging her head down) After I cooled down, I was ashamed of how I treated Candice. I know how it feels to have people treat me badly when I'm being nice, and Candice was trying to be nice to me, when Danielle was being a stereotypical spoiled white girl, and Ophelia was turning against me, for some reason. Candice probably deserves a chance, even if she is a slut.

Ophelia: Danielle called dibs. It's that simple. (Ophelia makes her eyes go cross-eyed.) Duh.

* * *

Frederique was sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor, stretching as he yawned, waking up in the morning. He groggily looked around, and then he screamed.

"**What the hell are you doing?**" Frederique asked, leaping out of his sleeping bag, with Xuxa having been lying right beside him.

"Just sleeping next to you!" Xuxa exclaimed sweetly.

"I didn't say you could do that!" Frederique yelled.

"I thought it was implied," Xuxa said, calmly getting out of the sleeping bag and standing up. "All of those flirty signs you were giving me-"

"I wasn't flirting with you!" Frederique yelled.

"Some of us would like to sleep in," Alistair said, grumpy.

"Maybe you should quiet down," Xuxa said quietly. "I think you're disturbing everyone."

"Me?" Frederique yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "You were **in my sleeping bag **with me!"

"We've established that," Alistair shouted, reluctantly turning over to glare at Frederique. "Repeating it over and over is not going to get it through to her, but will cause me to lose precious sleep, so shut the hell up!" Alistair then turned over and curled himself up tight, grumbling something to himself.

"Lucky," Percy said, smirking. "Wish some girl would've done that to me!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Percy: Preferably one who's hotter than Xuxa, like… well, they're all hotter than Xuxa, really. But she's still technically a girl, so I'd do her if she wanted. I don't discriminate.

Alistair: I'm kind of wishing the girls would have voted off Frederique last night. At least Walter wouldn't have had the audacity to wake me up by screaming like a stupid girl!

* * *

Rachel peeked her head into the boys' side of the cabin. "Frederique, I know you want my attention and adoration, but interrupting my beauty sleep is not the way to go about it." Rachel rushed up to Frederique, and started rubbing under his chin. "But I forgive you."

"I don't want you!" Frederique yelled.

Rachel blinked in confusion, then looked down. "Oh. I… didn't realize you already chose."

"What are you talking about?" Frederique asked, angry.

"Xuxa won, I guess." Rachel was walking back to the girls' side, but stopped first to glare at Xuxa. "This isn't over, I hope you know. You and I, not friends!"

"Well I'm double not friends with you!" Xuxa shouted, blowing a raspberry to Rachel, then turned to smile at Frederique, only to frown when she saw he was no longer there. "Now where did he go?"

"If he's not here, I don't care!" Alistair shouted. "I wish you would go as well!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: I guess Rachel won. (Xuxa sighs.) So Frederique likes Rachel and not me. But I'm not going to give up! I need to fight for my man, and no skinny bimbo is gonna' take him away from me!

Rachel: (narrowing her eyes) Don't think this is over, Xuxa. It's not over. You may have won over Frederique's heart, but I will steal him from you. Don't think I won't do that! I've done it before, and I'll do it again. It's on!

Katrina: (still bandaged up, sitting in a wheelchair) I really don't want to take sides in the whole Rachel and Xuxa loving Frederique thing, but I'm happy for Xuxa, putting it all out there on the line like that. (Katrina rolls her eyes.) Well, except for the whole "he's as big jerkass just like Justin" thing he has going on. Was it really necessary for him to treat Xuxa so cruelly?

* * *

"If Izzy would allow me, then yes," Katrina said, wearing an enormous smile, still covered in bandages, sitting in a wheelchair. "But I don't want to be voted out."

"Neither of us wants you gone," Rachel said.

"I do want her gone, though," Xuxa said, pointing to Rachel. "But we won't let anyone vote you off if we lose today!"

"We just want you to get better," Rachel said, massaging Katrina's shoulders. "Really, I was expecting you to get better by now. Thought you'd heal faster, for some reason."

"I appreciate it, you guys," Katrina said, blushing. "You two are the best!"

"You and me, anyway," Rachel said, then disgustedly pointed to Xuxa. "Her, not so much."

"I'm nice, and good," Xuxa said, smiling innocently.

"I'll bring back breakfast for you," Rachel said, then leaned over to kiss Katrina's forehead. "Take care." Katrina blushed, looking embarrassed.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: (grinning) She got over Frederique pretty fast, huh?

* * *

"Ooh, you can play my video game, if you want," Xuxa said, handing her video game over to Katrina. "It might keep you occupied."

"You just want me to create another game to put on it, don't you?" Katrina asked, smirking.

Xuxa smiled innocently. "If you want, or you can just play one of the games I have. You can even watch some movies or TV shows on it!"

"Ooh, which ones?" Katrina asked.

"Mostly just _Sabrina, the Teenage Witch." _Xuxa said, grinning like an idiot. "I just love that show!"

"I don't," Katrina stated coldly.

Xuxa blinked "But it's got all the episodes, like when Sabrina kissed Harvey, and turned him into a frog, and she was way too good for him anyway, but-"

"I don't like it!" Katrina shouted, breathing fast, then taking deeper breaths. "I'm sorry, Xuxa. I overreacted. Hug?" Katrina stretched out her arms, and Xuxa tearfully hugged back.

"I'm sorry," Xuxa said. "I won't mention the S-word in front of you! Promisies!"

Katrina pat Xuxa's back. "It's fine, really. Thank you for respecting my wishes, though."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: It feels so weird to have someone like Katrina around. I'm so used to everyone trying to get away from me, for no apparent reason, but Katrina actually seems to… well, like me! And actually shows it! I swear it's the nicest feeling ever, and I don't want to ruin it by talking about_ Sabrina _if it makes her uncomfortable!

Rachel: I think they're both a little extreme about the show, really. It's not nearly as awesome as Xuxa says it is, but I don't get why Katrina hates it so much, either. (Rachel shrugs.) Besides, they had that one movie with Tara Charendoff, back then at least, and she's like one of my favorite voice actresses! Reminds me of Katrina's voice, really.

* * *

Isis was walking around the camp that morning, looking for something, in the garbage can, under a random rock, and every place else she came across.

"Need help finding something?" Xuxa asked, smiling bright.

"Trying to find Candice, actually," Isis said, closely inspecting a blade of grass.

"I don't think she'll be there," Xuxa said, looking inside a garbage can. "Do you know where Frederique is? I can't find him."

"I don't think he likes you," Isis said, then sniffled. "I'm sorry. He's just a big meanie!"

"He's just playing hard to get," Xuxa said, waving dismissively. "And he apparently likes Rachel, but I can win him back!"

"Really?" Isis asked, curious. "I kind of got the impression that he didn't like Rachel either."

"Oh, he totally digs her," Xuxa said, sneering. "I don't know what he could possibly see in that freak."

"Better than Danielle, at least," Isis muttered to herself, then she spoke normal. "I'll let you know if I find him, though!"

"Thanks!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Isis. "You're the best… I mean, second best!"

"Second out of twenty-four isn't so bad," Isis said cheerfully.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Aren't there twenty-five of us? I think Isis forgot how to count, or something.

* * *

Isis was lifting a large rock that was surprisingly light, and found the rock hollowed out, with Frederique hiding beneath it.

"Please don't tell anyone I'm here," Frederique begged.

"I already promised Xuxa I'd tell her if I found you," Isis said.

"No, please!" Frederique begged.

"If you want to break up with her, be a man about it, instead of this stupid hiding from her business," Isis said, rolling her eyes. "You're pathetic." Isis called out, "**Xuxa, found him!**"

"**Frederique!**" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping him. "You're mine!"

"I don't think he likes you," Isis said, giggling.

"Nonsense," Xuxa said, smirking. "He just doesn't realize it yet."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Frederique: Seriously, is there not one half-way decent person here? Why does everyone think I'm the bad guy?

* * *

"Candice!" Isis exclaimed, glomping the blonde. Isis started crying a bit. "I'm so sorry about what I did to you."

"What did you do?" Candice asked, confused.

"I was mean," Isis said, comfortably continuing to latch on to Candice. "You were being nice, and I called you a slut, and I'm sorry."

"You wouldn't be the first person to call me such," Candice said, then sighed.

"I was mean, and you were nice," Isis said, sniffling. "I hate being mean, I just have a temper."

"Thank you," Candice said, smiling. "I don't understand why I'm so disliked, anyway."

"It's the slut… err… is there a nicer word for that?" Isis asked.

"There should be one," Candice said. "I really ain't like that anymore, anyway. Still always get called one."

"It might be the outfit," Isis said. "Kind of revealing."

"You really think so?" Candice asked, looking down at her outfit, or lack of one. "Bridgette said something like that, too. It's so comfortable when it's hot, though."

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance, anyway," Isis said, smiling. "You just seemed like a slutty-err, I'm sorry, I said that word again. I thought you were a… 'naughty'?"

Candice laughed. "I'll take that word."

"OK, then," Isis said, clearing her throat. "I thought you were a 'naughty' privileged white girl."

"Can I ask you something that's been bothering me a little?" Candice asked, a bit nervous.

"Go for it."

"Why do you keep mentioning me and everyone else being white?"

Isis looked like she was getting upset, but calmed herself down pretty quickly. "I'm sorry. It's just kind of a sensitive issue for me. I'll tell you as long as you promise not to go 'but I don't do that' or 'it's all in your head' or 'durr, slavery's over!'"

"I promise," Candice said, raising her right hand.

Isis wiped a tear from her eye. "Thank you. Anyway, I've had trouble with white people for a long time."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: (hugging herself, with a huge smile on her face) I swear, that felt so good! Candice didn't try to argue, or accuse me of that stupid race card thing, or anything! She listened to me!

* * *

"I'm sorry," Candice said, crying, hugging Isis.

"You don't need to be, girl," Isis said, hugging Candice back, crying a little less than Candice. "I don't want to blame you."

"Not that I mean to compete in a sob story competition, but I kind of feel I can open up to you, like about my life, and such."

"No, it's good," Isis said, looking eager. "You listened to me ramble on, I can do the same for you."

"After breakfast, though," Candice said, smirking. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Oh, I almost forgot," Isis said, rubbing her stomach. "I guess Courtney's cooking for us today. She's better than Chef, right?" Candice shrugged.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: (beaming) You know, I've never had a white friend before. Well, not a true one, anyway. Does everyone really have to always assume I'm misreading something, or that I wasn't supposed to be offended, or… blah, I hate thinking about it. I really think Candice gets it, though. And I really hope I'm right! I can use a close friend here, and Stephanie seems a bit shy. I don't want to push her away, really. It'd be nice to have someone who knows what I've gone though like Stephanie, though.

Stephanie: (rolling her eyes, with her arms crossed over her chest) Seriously, Isis is such a drama queen. Maybe if she'd stop complaining, she'd realize most people don't care if she's black or white or purple or polka-dotted.

* * *

"**DJ, you're a much better cook than Courtney is!**" Jennie practically screamed in the dining room, while eating something that looked unappetizing, but Jennie was gobbling it up like there was no tomorrow.

"**Don't care!**" Courtney yelled back, from the kitchen, as Sadie brought out stacks of pancakes before Isis and Candice.

"A little tough and flavorless," Isis said, taking a bite of pancake. "Definitely need the syrup to salvage this." Isis started pouring the syrup over her pancakes.

"You get better syrup distribution if you cut up the pancakes first," Ophelia said quickly, standing behind Isis, from out of nowhere, startling the girl a bit. "The bottom pancake is just going to get a litty bitty bit on the bottom, and the middle pancake won't get any, so I totally think you should cut it first."

"Oh, it's **you**," Isis said, disgusted, glaring at Ophelia. "The traitor."

"Ooh, I betrayed someone!" Ophelia exclaimed. "Is this like a game where I have to guess who I turned on? Ooh, ooh, is it Jake? I know I said I would watch his hamster for him when he went on vacation for a week, but it's not my fault the hamster accidentally wound up in my sandwich, but at least he was tasty!" Ophelia rubbed her stomach contentedly. "Hey, at least I got him a new hamster, but then, after I realized how yummy the first one was, I wound up making a hamster sandwich out of that one before I gave it to him, so that's… yeah, I guess I was a bit of a traitor, but he was mean to me second!"

Candice and Isis stared in horror at Ophelia. Isis then started to speak. "Uh…"

"You **monster!**" Jennie screamed, pointing an accusing finger at Ophelia. "How could you treat a hamster so callously?"

"Um, we eat cows," Ophelia said, shrugging. "Hamsters are like litty bitty cows, and quite the delicacy!"

"I don't eat beef!" Jennie yelled, turning red.

"Then don't have a cow, man," Ophelia said, laughing.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: I wish Jennie could lighten up a bit. That joke was lame, but still pretty funny, but I don't think she saw the humor in it.

* * *

Elizabeth was holding Jennie back, who looked like she was about to maul Ophelia, who was ignoring Jennie, and talking to Isis. "So what's up?" Ophelia asked.

"Not talking to you," Isis said, then took a bite of pancake.

"Oh, don't want to talk with your mouth full, gotcha'," Ophelia said, nodding. "I think it's fun to talk with my mouth full. It makes me sound all funny and gooblally, but-"

"I'm not talking to you ever," Isis said.

Ophelia put her arm around Isis. "Aww, but we're like BFFXJ9Ls!" Ophelia exclaimed, though Isis, quickly threw Ophelia's arm off.

"Leave me alone!" Isis yelled. Ophelia's lip was quivering, and she started tearing up as she slowly walked away, wiping her eye.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (blowing her nose) I thought we were friends. What did I do?

* * *

Frederique nervously looked around the dining room. "Is Xuxa here?"

"No, but I am, lover boy," Rachel said, smiling seductively. "Saved you a seat."

"Um, I'm right here," Percy said. Rachel nonchalantly and violently pushed Percy into a nearby wall out of the chair, as she pat the seat down.

"I kept it warm for you."

"I think I'll skip breakfast," Frederique said, then opened the door to leave, but almost immediately, his eyes went wide, and he slammed the door shut, staying inside. "On second thought, I'll stay."

"How nice," Rachel said. Frederique shuddered, then sat next to Rachel, who started rubbing her head against his arm. "Nice day, isn't it?"

"No," Frederique said, irritated.

"At least it's better now."

"No, it's not," Frederique said, getting angrier. "And stop rubbing on me!"

Rachel sighed, lifting her head. "So I guess Xuxa won the prize. Well, congratulate her for me. She won you fair and square."

"I hate Xuxa!"

Rachel glomped Frederique, knocking them both to the floor. "I knew you liked me!" Rachel started kissing him all over. "I knew you'd never care for that fat slob like you do me! Thank you!"

"I don't like you either!"

Rachel stopped kissing Frederique, looking as if her brain broke. It took her about half a minute for her to compose her thoughts. "So you're gay."

"No, I'm not!" Frederique yelled.

Rachel started counting on her fingers. "So, let me get this straight. You don't like the ugly girl, you don't like the hottest girl here, and you're not gay."

Frederique feigned shock. "By Jove, I think she's got it!"

Rachel looked angry as she poked Frederique in the chest. "You're a user!"

"What the hell?"

Rachel poked Frederique in the chest again. "You use girls for your own amusement, pitting us against each other so you can cackle to yourself about how you can manipulate us and laugh, making everyone else miserable! Xuxa can have you for all I care!"

Nicole blinked in confusion. "Rachel, I don't think-"

"**I'm not a lesbian!**" Rachel screamed. "Stop thinking I'll make out with you, 'cause I won't!"

Nicole slowly scooted back. "OK…."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: Rachel's probably right. Freddie never seemed too friendly. I think there's something wrong with him.

Candice: Frederique's pretty full of himself, thinking he's just that good that he can mistreat two admittedly not particularly likable girls, and still wind up snagging himself someone else. (Candice angrily points between her boobs.) Well it ain't gonna' be me, honey!

Nicole: I feel like the only sane person here. Frederique didn't like either of them. Not so hard to understand. (Nicole shrugs.) Then again, he's still an ass. Don't really want to stick my neck out there for someone so horrible.

* * *

"Greetings, everyone!" Izzy exclaimed, standing before the contestants, while standing beside Bridgette. "It's that time again!"

"Time to declare me the winner?" Rachel said, casually admiring the back of her hand.

"Time after time?" Ophelia asked excitedly. "If you fall, I will catch you! I will be waiting!"

"No, it's time to learn today's lesson," Izzy said. "If a bunch of thugs are about to do horrible things to you, and you call nine-one-one, you're a big jerk! Nine-one-one is for real emergencies only, and if you play a prank on them, then someone else who's really in danger could die! So stop being selfish and let the thugs kill you instead! Selfishness is always evil."

Bridgette blinked. "Was that a moral?"

Izzy shrugged. "Saw it on some PSA once, so it must be true." Izzy pointed to the finish line. "For today's challenge, you will all be racing around the island! You can work together, or separately, whatever, I don't care that much. The path is clearly marked, and I wouldn't stray too far from it, since our interns are diligently checking the video surveillance to make sure you pass all the checkpoints."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: (punching a hole in the wall) **I **should be competing! Instead of babysitting these pansies to make sure they don't stray…. **why did Rachel do this to me?**

* * *

"There will be some obstacles," Izzy said. "There are checkpoints within those, so you can't just walk around."

"I'm with Frederique!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Frederique, who looked like he wanted to die.

"That is fine with me," Rachel said, dusting her hands off.

"Wait, really?" Xuxa asked, confused.

"Really," Rachel said, grinning. "I'm feeling generous, and I feel he deserves a girl like you."

Xuxa started tearing up, then glomped Rachel. "You're serious?"

"Deadly serious," Rachel said, glaring at Frederique.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Xuxa exclaimed.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: That was pretty much win-win for me. Strengthen my alliance with Xuxa, and get revenge on he who has wronged me! Oh, he will pay! He **will **pay!

* * *

"He'll slow me down!" Danielle complained, crossing her arms over her chest, as Ophelia pushed George closer to her.

"Aww, but he wikes you!" Ophelia said in baby talk.

"If we want our team to win, I can't have someone slowing me down!" Danielle shouted.

"Yeah, I would probably do that," George said.

"But slow and steady wins the race!" Ophelia exclaimed. "Besides, we don't know the conditions for winning, or losing."

Danielle stroked her chin. "I suppose you have a point. Does the last team to get a member across the finish line lose, or the team for the last person to finish lose." Danielle sighed. "Fine, I'll go with George," she grumbled.

"Oh joy, such a happy day!" Ophelia exclaimed, then leapt over to Isis and Candice. "Hey, Isie!"

"That's not my name," Isis said. "And I'm not talking to you."

Ophelia looked surprised. "But breakfast is over. I thought that was just some weird breakfast hang-up you had."

Isis narrowed her eyes. "You know what you did, traitor."

"I don't, I promise," Ophelia said, looking guilty. "Was it the hamster thing? I promise they're truly delicious, but if you didn't want to hear about-"

"Are you seriously this stupid?" Isis yelled, looking like she was trying to restrain herself.

Ophelia looked down. "Yes."

"I'm sorry, Ophelia," Candice said, nervous. "Maybe you can try again later." Ophelia nodded, then backed away.

Isis crossed her arms over her chest and made a pouty face. "Don't wanna' talk to her later."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: I wish I knew what to do. Isis is obviously mad at Ophelia for forcing her out of her bed, and I really don't think Ophelia's even aware that it upset Isis. I'd love for Isis to open up, but it's really not easy for her.

* * *

"On your mark!" Izzy shouted, while taking out a gun. "Get set!" Izzy pointed the gun toward the air. "Go!" Izzy shot the gun into the air, and the contestants took off, along the directed path.

After a few seconds, Bridgette spoke up. "Who do you think will win?"

"And that's where I come in," Elli said, tipping her hat. "Place your bets, folks, place your bets!"

"Wait," Bridgette said, quickly turning to see Elli sitting behind a small table with a few stacks of paper and a large calculator. "You're taking bets?"

"Of course," Elli said. "I thought that would make it more interesting."

"Ooh, Izzy totally agrees!" Izzy exclaimed.

"I'll take some of that," Duncan said, walking by. "So what am I betting on?"

"The winner, of course," Elli said, shuffling a deck of cards out of boredom. "Bet on the sex of the winner, bet on the team, bet on the specific contestant, and a few other special deals we've got going on."

Duncan smirked. "Sounds good to me."

Bridgette looked concerned, then turned to Izzy. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes," Izzy said, grinning as she nodded.

"Is this even legal?" Bridgette asked.

"No, not really," Izzy said, shrugging.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I'm not sure it's a good idea to promote gambling on a show that a lot of kids are watching. I don't want to be a stick in the mud, but I really don't think this is a good idea.

* * *

"I don't get it," Hank said, while Todd was burying something under the ground. "How did we get so far ahead of everyone else so fast, anyway?"

"We were off screen," Todd said, looking proud. "All the villainous greats have the ability to move super quickly when they're not being watched."

"OK," Hank said, raising an eyebrow, "but if we can move that quickly, why not head straight for the finish line and win before anyone else has had a chance to blink?"

Todd gasped in horror. "I could never live with myself if I won in such a manner!"

"You mean cheating."

"Look, my boy, there is a right way and a wrong way to cheat," Todd said. "Planting a landmine is the right way to cheat!"

"Couldn't that kill someone?" Hank said, nervous.

"Nonsense," Todd said, waving his hand dismissively. "It'll just cover the person in a lot of soot, and leave them dizzy for about a minute."

"Are you sure?" Hank asked.

"Of course," Todd said. "Taught that bully kid in second grade a lesson with one of these babies!"

"You were bullied in the second grade?" Hank asked. "I'm sorry."

"What, no, don't be ridiculous!" Todd proclaimed. "He was a bully, but I was a bigger, more powerful bully, and he was invading my turf!"

"Of course," Hank said.

Todd took out a large blueprint and easel, as well as a pointer to point to the blueprint. "So, when the contestant runs past, he'll walk on the landmine, get blown to Kingdom Come! **Mwahahahaha!**"

"You've got the laugh down, at least," Hank said, smirking.

"But of course," Todd boasted. "I've had that down before I could walk."

"I think someone's coming," Hank said, pointing to Candice, who he could see from a bit of a distance away.

"Then we must hide, quickly!" Todd said, grabbing Hank, and the two hid behind a bush.

"I'm making pretty good time!" Candice exclaimed. "I haven't seen anyone else in a while." Candice started pumping her fist as she continued speaking. "Team Himalayas, you're about to become Team Victor-"

The landmine exploded as Candice stepped on it, throwing her high into the air, and back down, covered in soot all over, then coughed. "Ouch."

"Should've paced yourself!" Stephanie teased, sticking out her tongue as she ran past at a decent pace.

"It worked!" Todd exclaimed, doing a little dance, gyrating his butt. "Go me, go me, it's my birthday-"

"Stephanie made it through, though," Hank pointed out.

Todd stroked his chin. "I suppose you are correct. It would have been preferable to use more than one landmine."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: (with her arms over her chest, pouting, slightly singed) OK, that was totally not fair! I was a little bit out of it, but I could swear I saw Todd dancing. I'm pretty sure he planted that landmine there. Urgh, that cheating bastard!

* * *

Isis was running past Candice, then backed up after noticing her. "Are you OK?" Isis asked, concerned.

"Not really, but you should hurry," Candice said, trying to smile. "Stephanie's winning!"

"Ooh, I'd hate to beat her," Isis said, then shrugged. "We need to win too, though! Sure you don't need help?"

"I'll be OK," Candice said, then coughed. "I think."

"Well, I hope you can get back into the race!" Isis exclaimed, then ran off.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: Yeah,, I was able to shake it off-kind of literally-about a minute after Isis left, so maybe I can catch up. Or maybe even win! I could really use a reason to get my team to keep me on, since most of them don't really seem to like me much.

* * *

"It's been a pleasure doing business with you," Courtney said, shaking Elli's hand, who was smirking.

"Pleasure's been all mine," Elli said.

Bridgette scratched her head. "I'm still not sure about this."

Izzy waved her hand dismissively to Bridgette. "Trust me, it'll be fine. Would I lie?"

"Yes," Bridgette said. "You're kind of known for that."

"Not this time, though!" Izzy exclaimed, raising a fist into the air. "This time, someone here's going to make, or lose, a lot of money, and it'll be so awesome! But who will win the race?" Izzy gasped, and put her hands to her cheeks. "Who will lose? Oh, I hope it's not someone I like, but we'll have to find out, coming up on _Total Drama-"_

"Odessa!" Lindsay exclaimed, then clapped to herself.

Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "I'm guessing you meant Ophelia, but, um, why did you do that anyway?"

Lindsay looked confused. "I thought we were supposed to interrupt the last word."

Bridgette smiled as she put her hand on Lindsay's shoulder. "That was last season, when it was named after Chris to inflate his ego. We don't really have that problem this year."

Lindsay looked blankly at Bridgette for about half a minute, then slapped her own face. "Oh, so that's why no one's been doing it this year."

Bridgette chuckled to herself. "Tell you what. If it makes you feel better, you can go right on doing it."

Lindsay glomped Bridgette, who looked content with being squeezed. "Thanks!"


	8. Day 4, Part 2: Xuxa, Don't Bother Me

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 8: Day 4: Part 2: Xuxa, Don't Bother Me**

"OK, this plan is really stupid," Hank said, as he and Todd were hiding behind a billboard. "Why is this billboard here, anyway? And why is it advertising the iBop? Is that even real?"

"My boy, that's the genius behind it!" Todd exclaimed. "There is no such thing as the iBop, but whoever passes this billboard will be so enamored with this new product, they'll stare at it, wonder what it is and how they can get their own, and that's when they'll sink to their dooms in the quicksand pit that I just made with my Acme instant quicksand kit!"

"This isn't really much of a plan," Hank said, blinking.

"Silence, fool!" Todd shouted. "Here comes our first taker!"

Stephanie was running toward the billboard, and continued running straight past, without ever glancing at it.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (pointing to her head) Focus is key. To focus on the task at hand, and disallow any and all distractions, for that is key to ultimate success in both this game and in real life.

* * *

Todd blinked in confusion. "That didn't work? How, pray tell, did that not work?"

"She was too focused on the race," Hank said.

"Wasn't she that girl who goes 'wah wah, I hate white people'?" Todd mocked, waving his hands stupidly. "She never impressed me as someone who could keep her focus." But never mind that, here comes the next potential victim!"

Isis came running toward the billboard, and quickly stopped to look in awe at the fake product. "Oooh!"

"I knew it!" Todd exclaimed. "She came back just to take a look at the billboard!"

"And she's not standing in the quicksand," Hank pointed out, as Isis was standing next to the quicksand pit.

"Urgh, how stupid is this girl?" Todd asked, slapping his own face, then peeking his head from behind the billboard. "You know, you can get a better view of the billboard if you take two steps to the right."

"No thank you," Isis said. "There's a quicksand pit right there." Todd slapped his face, then grumbled as he stuck his head back behind the billboard.

"Ooh, is that the new iBop?" Candice asked, running up toward Isis, looking at the billboard. "I've heard so much about them! Amanda Bynes has one, and she loves it!"

"I've never heard of it before," Isis said, shrugging. "I'll be on the lookout, though, but for now, let's win this race!"

"Right!" Candice said, as the two girls bolted off.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: That's… not real. The iBop. Is it?

* * *

"Hi, Freddie!" Xuxa exclaimed, jumping in front of Frederique as he was running ahead.

"Gah!" Frederique yelled, then ran around her. "Go away, you twit!"

"But our love is true!" Xuxa exclaimed, popping her head out of a garbage can right in front of Frederique.

"Ack! How did… how did you do that?"

Xuxa smiled seductively. "I'll tell you if you kiss me!"

"Never mind!" Frederique yelled, throwing the lid back on the garbage can, then hurried on by.

"Oh, I do, Freddie, I do!" Xuxa exclaimed, in a wedding dress, grabbing Frederique's arm as he ran past, then taking him up the altar which was right up ahead.

"How did… but the dress, the alter, the-"

Xuxa took Frederique's face and shook it with her hand. "Oh, the altar was already here. I think Izzy put it here just for me!" Xuxa glomped Frederique and kissed his cheek.

"You're insane!" Frederique yelled.

"Your fault for passing on the sane girl here," Rachel sang as she ran past.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Frederique: I really hate to call Rachel sane, but compared to Xuxa… well, Ophelia's sane compared to Xuxa!

Sierra: You know, I felt bad when I found out that Xuxa wanted to get married. I'm legally an ordained minister, and I could've married them if she'd told me of her plans. That would've been so awesome, too, a real live wedding on the show!

* * *

Xuxa was holding Frederique's arm tightly, as he was trying to get away. "You know, you're not a very good boyfriend. You keep trying to run away."

"I'm not your boyfriend!" Frederique yelled, as he managed to slip free.

Xuxa snapped her fingers. "Maybe I need to shower more often? I did that this morning, though. Maybe I need a stronger deodorant? I just don't get it."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Xuxa's pretty pathetic. She's delusional, thinking that people like her when they can't stand her, thinking she's such a wonderful person to be around, it's amazing that no one's strangled her yet, because you kind of deserve to be, no offense.

* * *

"You're really slow, you know that?" Danielle asked, irritated, as she was leading George down the path.

"That's what they tell me," George said, smiling.

"Why can't we go faster?" Danielle whined. "You're blind, not speed-disabled."

"This is true," George said. "I don't really know my way around the island, much less the specific path we're taking, though. I might run into a tree, or off a cliff, or into the Eiffel Tower, or something that doesn't exist, or a monkey taking a shower."

"OK, that's pretty pathetic, fan of a children's cartoon," Danielle said, blowing some hair out of her face, still leading George ahead.

"One you're familiar with, apparently," George said.

"I didn't say I watched it," Danielle said. "Walk more to the right, there's a pothole or something in front of you."

"You knew the song," George said, stepping around the small hole.

"I don't watch baby shows," Danielle said, irritated.

"Hey, I don't watch them either," George said. "Don't watch anything, actually."

"What do you mean, of course you-" Danielle started, then smirked. "Ha ha, very funny. **Very **funny."

"Then my mission was a success," George said, wiping his hands together. "Who's your favorite character, anyway?"

"Isabella," Danielle answered. "She's all nice and perfect, and… wait." Danielle stopped short, and screamed, then turned around and glared at George. "You tricked me!"

"You're easy to trick," George said, grinning.

"I am not!" Danielle protested, stomping her foot. "That was my plan all along, to trick you into thinking you tricked me, and it worked! Ha!"

"You're right," George said. "Boy, you had me fooled. How foolish of me to believe that I could ever pull the wool over your eyes."

Danielle pat George's head. "You're forgiven. Nobody's perfect. Well, except me." Danielle smiled innocently.

"Why do you need to be perfect, anyway?" George asked.

Danielle shrugged. "I don't need to be perfect. I just am. It's simply my being."

"You might have more fun if you didn't feel this need to be perfect."

Danielle pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "For your information, I **don't **feel a need to be perfect! I simply **am **perfect, no effort required."

"I won't tell anyway," George said.

"Good, 'cause there's nothing to tell," Danielle said. "We're about to cross a small stream, so if you don't want to get your shoes drenched, you'll need to follow my very precise instructions."

"Sounds good to me."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: (dripping wet) Yeah, a little bit less than precise.

Danielle: (with her arms crossed over her chest, defiant) Well of course he fell into the stream! He was not following my instructions exactly. It's his own fault, really.

* * *

"I've really done it this time," Todd proudly said, hiding behind a rock with Hank, looking at a small table he had set with a chili dog on it, as well as a sign next to the table saying 'free chili dog.'

"I don't get it," Hank said. "Are there laxatives in the hot dog, or something."

"Of course there are," Todd said. "Those have been added to hot dogs for decades. But this plan is truly inspired! A plan worthy of my greatness! A plan so insidious, so nefarious, I'll be remembered for eons to come!" Todd slowly moved his hand across the sky while his other arm was wrapped around Hank.

"I still don't get it," Hank said. "How does this work, exactly?"

"I'm glad you asked," Todd said, waving his hand to his chest. "No one can resist a free chili dog-"

"Except Jennie."

"I believe she would consume it as well," Todd said. "After all, it's not like hot dogs have any actual meat in them, but I digress. The chili dog is holding down a button. When the chili dog is lifted, there will be nothing holding down that button, which is the only thing keeping the laser pointed toward the X from firing! The person who eats that chili dog had better enjoy their meat well done, because that's how they will be cooked! Mwahahaha!"

"That's… kind of insane," Hank said.

"I know," Todd said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Makes a man proud."

"Except you told me your entire plan!" Candice yelled. "It's too bad, since the chili dog looked pretty good."

Todd blinked, then covered his head in his hand. "Just go." Candice shrugged, then bolted off really fast. "How could I make such an amateur mistake?"

"Tradition?" Hank asked.

"That was a rhetorical question," Todd said. "But it may not be too late! Here comes that annoying girl again!" Todd and Hank hid behind their rock as Stephanie ran past, seemingly not even noticing the chili dog. Todd scratched his head. "I get it, now. A white guy made this, so she won't touch it." Todd shook his head. "Typical."

"Maybe people would like her more if she stopped complaining about everything," Hank said. "It's old."

"Quick, someone else is coming!" Todd whispered loudly. "Back down!"

Isis ran on by, passing the chili dog, and turning around the rock to spit at Todd and Hank before continuing on.

"OK, that was gross," Hank said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (narrowing her eyes) First of all, I am not deaf, Todd and Hank! I can hear you just fine. And second, I really do not appreciate Isis giving **me **a bad name here! I am nothing like Isis, and now I'm getting lumped in with her actions! I do not appreciate this!

Isis: (rolling her eyes) Seriously, hello, not deaf! Yes, it's old. It's also my day to day life! I'll stop complaining when I'm actually treated fairly, thank you very much!  
Ophelia: (falling from the ceiling, with Isis looking shocked) Isis… funny seeing you here.  
Isis: Were you eavesdropping?  
Ophelia: I had a good reason.  
Isis: (irritated, tapping her arm with her finger) I'm listening.  
Ophelia: I just feel really bad about what I did, and I'm really really sorry for what I did. It was so awful, and I can't believe I would be capable of something like that!  
Isis: And what is it that you feel bad that you've done?  
Ophelia: (blinking) Um… I forgot to share my chocolate bar after taunting you with it?  
Isis: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Another reason to stay mad.  
Ophelia: Come on, please, I'm dying! Well, not literally, but it feels literally, like, literally!

* * *

"I'm putting a roast beef sandwich on Bob," Owen said, plopping such sandwich on Elli's table. Elli looked a bit grossed out.

"How much is this valued at, anyway?" Elli said.

"It's a roast beef sandwich! It's priceless!" Owen exclaimed.

Elli shrugged. "Five fifty."

"Did you even taste that sandwich?" Owen asked.

"I've had a roast beef sandwich before," Elli said, raising an eyebrow.

"But you've never had one as good as this!" Owen exclaimed.

Elli shrugged, picked the sandwich up to take a bite, and almost immediately spit it out, disgusted. "This is horrible!"

"What? No! It's delicious!" Owen insisted. "I knew it would be a long season, so I stocked up at my favorite deli before the season started."

"By any chance, were you keeping them in a refrigerator of some sort?" Elli asked.

"Well, there was no room in the fridge," Owen said, nervously tapping his fingers together, as Elli glared at Owen. "It's worth nothing now, huh?" Elli nodded. Owen walked away, hanging his head in defeat.

"This is a bad idea," Bridgette said, nervously looking around.

"I agree," Courtney said. "This is not the example we should be setting for our younger viewers out there, engaging in illegal activity such as this."

"Don't you have a bet going on?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

Courtney looked down at her feet. "Danielle's losing. Which means **I'm **losing. Did she really have to have a dead weight tagalong with her?"

"George is nice, you know," Bridgette complained, with her hands on her hips.

"I know," Courtney said. "Harder to like him when he's costing me money, though."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Courtney: OK, I know it's mean to be upset with a guy who's done nothing wrong, but he's costing me money! My hands are tied!

* * *

"You're not giving up on the chili dog, are you?" Hank asked, as he and Todd were still hiding behind the rock.

"This will work!" Todd exclaimed, pointing toward someone else. "Here comes another potential victim!"

"Sixteenth, I think," Hank said.

Jennie was jogging along, when the chili dog caught her eye. She stared at it for a moment, then started gagging. She found a hammer lying around, then eagerly picked it up and violently smashed the chili dog over and over, then tossed the hammer aside, and looked as if it were a job well done.

"I don't think she likes chili dogs," Hank said.

"Yes, I believe I've figured that out," Todd said, then whipped out a second chili dog from behind him. "Fortunately, I have a backup!"

"Where were you keeping that?" Hank asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Surely someone will take the bait this time," Todd said, wiping off the chili dog mess while still holding down the button, while placing the second chili dog atop it. Todd quickly looked behind him, and leapt behind the rock, pushing Hank's head down. "Another victim!"

Bob was walking along, when the chili dog caught his eye. "Food yummy!" Bob walked over to the chili dog, ate it in one bite, wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and continued walking along, while Todd stared in disbelief.

"It didn't work," Todd said. "Why did it not work?"

"I really don't know," Hank said, as Todd took a closer look at the button. He was about to press it, but then looked like he realized he was about to do something stupid, and moved to the opposite side of the table to press the button, and nothing happened. He pressed it several more times, quickly, but still, no laser. Todd stroked his chin, then looked down at his feet, and slapped his own face. "I forgot to plug it in?"

"It's not like there's an outlet out here, anyway," Hank said.

"Actually, there's one right here," Todd said, noticing an outlet a couple feet away from him.

"Out here, in the middle of nowhere?" Hank asked, confused.

"My boy, you don't question such luck," Todd said, plugging in the plug, then immediately getting lasered when the laser took a diagonal path to where Todd was standing, charring him. "Ow."

"I don't think the laser was positioned right," Hank said.

"No, really? I couldn't have guessed," Todd said, irritated.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: I don't even understand why Todd is trying to take out the competition. Instead of trying to hurt everyone, why not actually try to, you know, win?

* * *

"I love you, always forever!" Xuxa exclaimed, chasing Frederique, as he was zooming past, with her close behind, as he was passing by Alistair.

"Alistair! You've got to get her off my back!" Frederique shouted, desperate.

Alistair smirked. "But she's got you going so fast. Don't want to ruin that."

"You suck!" Frederique yelled, as he continued forward, trying to escape Xuxa. "Go away!"

"Never!' Xuxa exclaimed.

"What will it take for you to go away?" Frederique yelled.

"Say you'll always love me forever!" Xuxa exclaimed. "Never stop, not for whatever!"

"Would you stop quoting that song?" Frederique yelled, as Xuxa caught up, knocking them both to the ground.

"You're so funny!" Xuxa exclaimed, rubbing her hand through Frederique's hair.

"You don't get it, do you?" Frederique asked, angry. "I hate you! You're a pathetic little leech who has to annoy the hell out of your current obsession, not letting anyone breathe! Living only to make sure I can't enjoy myself here! You and Rachel and Katrina and Danielle and everyone else, but **especially you! I'm a human being! NOT YOUR TOY!**"

Xuxa slapped Frederique across the face, tearing up. "I'm a human being too, you know!" Xuxa's lip started quivering, and she ran off.

"Finally!" Frederique shouted, angry, picking himself off the ground, then continuing on his way.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: (sobbing) Why does everyone always hate me?

* * *

Stephanie was running forth, though before she knew it, Candice passed her. "Hey, get back here!" Stephanie yelled.

Candice stated running backwards. "Why, so you can beat me?" Candice stuck out her tongue and winked.

"Yes!" Stephanie yelled! "You have an unfair height advantage over me! You are physically capable of running faster than I!"

"Sorry," Candice said, cheerfully. "Maybe you'll get second!"

"I am for first!" Stephanie shouted.

"Good luck!" Candice exclaimed, getting farther and farther ahead of Stephanie. Stephanie looked as if she was going to have a meltdown.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: I don't need her pity! I need her long legs! I would be fully able to run faster if I had more actual height than I do! I cannot change my genes!

* * *

"This one is foolproof!" Todd exclaimed, rubbing his hands together evilly. "This is my best plan yet!" Todd looked to Hank, disappointed. "Aren't you going to ask how it works?"

"Oh, yes, of course!" Hank exclaimed. "How does it work?"

"Glad you asked," Todd said. "See that small pebble in the race path?"

"I see a lot of them," Hank said, confused.

"The red one," Todd said. "When the contestant races past, he or she will kick that pebble by accident, which will sent that pebble into **that **tree! That will cause a squirrel in that tree to climb to the top, which will startle a passing bird to such a great extent, it will crash into **that **tree, which causes it to pull on that rope, and the friction on that rope against the branch nearby will cause it to tear, sending **that **cage to lower onto the unlucky contestant, trapping them for all eternity! Mwahahaha!"

"That kind of requires a whole lot of unlikely coincidences," Hank said.

Todd stroked his chin. "You're probably right. I'll just cut the rope myself when the time is right."

"Yeah, that might be the better idea," Hank said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (still bandaged up, but standing, leaning against the chair in the room, drumming her fingers on the back of the chair) You know, it gets pretty boring by myself, just playing Xuxa's games, and watching a few shows she's downloaded onto it. I may just drive myself crazy though. (Katrina pulls her eyelids inside out for the camera and sticks out her tongue, then giggles.) Sorry, sorry, just trying to occupy my mind here. I think Ophelia's rubbing off on me, which… actually scares me a little bit. (Katrina giggles again.) Just kidding, girl!

* * *

"Almost," Todd said to himself, quietly, up in a tree. "Almost… now!" Todd sliced through the rope with a knife, which brought the cage racing down on top of Candice, leaving her a bit shocked.

"Seriously, what's your problem?" Candice yelled.

"You're cute, you know," Hank said, coming out from hiding. "Want to go out sometime?"

"With my captor, no!" Candice yelled. Hank sighed.

"Don't blame him, I'm your captor," Todd said, leaping down from his tree. "You're not my type, anyway. I prefer the more innocent damsel type, not the hooker type."

Candice rolled her eyes. "You know, this cage doesn't have a bottom. I can just lift the bars."

"Oh crap!" Todd shouted, then jumped on top of the cage. "Thank you for warning me. Hank, you may want to finish the race normally."

"I think Candice likes me, though," Hank said, smirking.

"No, I really don't," Candice said, angry.

"OK, that's cool," Hank said, then started walking off, pretty slowly.

"Well, I don't think we can count on him," Todd said, then turned around. "But she may be our team's key to victory!"

"Stephanie! Help!" Candice shouted.

"Sorry, no time, got to win!" Stephanie shouted as she past.

Candice sat down in her cage, with her head buried in her knees, crying. "It's not fair. It's not fair."

"Victory at least!" Todd exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up!" Candice yelled.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Candice: The funny thing is, that wasn't the first time I was locked in a cage. Or the second. Or the third. (Candice looks around the room and whistles.) There are a lot of perverted guys out there, let me tell you.

* * *

Todd was lying on top of the cage, paddling a paddleball, when he was suddenly thrown off. "Go away!" Isis yelled.

Todd shrugged. "I've caused enough mayhem for one outing, anyway." Todd walked off.

"Help me lift this," Isis said, she and Candice lifted one side of the cage for Candice to escape. "I think Stephanie's ahead, and I really like her and hope she does well, but you're my teammate, so hurry up and beat her!" Isis hugged Candice excitedly. "Hurry, go, go!"

"Yes, boss!" Candice exclaimed, then rushed off, as Isis smiled for a few seconds, before getting herself out of it. "Wait, I should probably get going, too!"

"I'm sorry!" Ophelia loudly whispered, jumping right in front of Isis, startling her enough to knock her to the ground.

"Go away!" Isis yelled as she picked herself up off the ground and started running.

"But I really am sorry," Ophelia said, downtrodden.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (Ophelia pulls her eyelids inside out for the camera and sticks out her tongue, then sighs.) That almost always cheers me up, too. (Ophelia forces one of her eyelids open with one hand, while tossing Coca-Cola into her eye with her other hand.) That doesn't even burn like it usually does. I deserve it too, since I was so mean to Isis. I can't believe I'd do something like that to her. Like, really, I can't believe it, since I have no idea what it is. Maybe I was sleepwalking again?

* * *

"Who is that? Who is that?" Duncan shouted, as someone was approaching the finish line. "That's Stephanie, I think!"

"Well, you're about to make some serious money, then," Elli said, grinning. "Two hundred bucks once she crosses the finish line."

"She was a popular pick, wasn't she?" Tyler asked. "Just seems so focused and stuff, like me!"

Elli shrugged. "Guess I'm about to lose a lot of money. Thought she'd be too predictable, really." Elli smirked at Courtney. "Not a total loss, anyway."

"Thank you for rubbing that in," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, illegal gambling is wrong, and illegal!"

"Wait, who's that?" Cody asked, then grinned. "Actually I know who that is." Candice was quickly gaining ground on Stephanie, though Stephanie didn't even seem to notice.

"No, no, hurry up, Stephanie!" Duncan yelled.

"Hey, I put my money on the hottie," Cody said. "So athletic and pretty."

"I'm in in the race, you know," Eva said, raising half her eyebrow, tapping her arm.

"Oh, of course," Cody said. "I just meant out of those who were racing, naturally."

"Of course," Eva stated.

Candice was gaining ground on Stephanie quickly. Right as Candice was about to pass, though, Stephanie abruptly stopped and stuck out her leg, tripping Candice over.

"Thought I didn't see you, huh?" Stephanie said, sticking out her tongue as she headed for the finish line.

"That wasn't fair!" Candice yelled.

"What is not fair is our need to tolerate your ill behavior!" Stephanie shouted, getting close to the finish line.

"That was kind of mean," Bridgette said, embarrassed.

"Who cares, Stephanie's winning, and I'm winning money!" Duncan exclaimed.

"Yeah, what he said!" Tyler exclaimed.

As Stephanie was about half a football field away from the finish line, a third contestant could be seen, running super fast. Xuxa was quickly approaching, and crying hard. "**I'M NOT WORTHLESS!**" Xuxa screamed as she was running toward the finish line almost too fast to be seen. Stephanie heard, and tried to get out the way, but was trampled over right before crossing the finish line, and Xuxa crossed right over.

"And Xuxa wins for Team Amazon," Izzy said, rubbing her own arm. "So yeah."

"This has been a very good day," Elli said, quickly locking all of her cash in a briefcase nearby. "No one bet on Xuxa. Too bad. Good paying odds on that one." Elli shrugged.

"Stephanie should've won," Duncan said, irritated. "This isn't right, how that went down."

"Sorry, all sales are final!" Elli exclaimed, then dashed off before Duncan could argue anymore, while Stephanie, in pain, crawled over the finish line.

"Could someone help me up?" Stephanie asked.

"And Stephanie has secured second place for Team Moon!" Izzy exclaimed. Candice looked distraught as she crossed the finish line, with her head hanging. "And that leaves Team Himalayas in last place. See you at the elimination ceremony!"

"She cheated," Candice said, looking as if she might cry, pointing to Stephanie.

"So did she," Stephanie said, pointing over to Xuxa, looking quite proud of herself. "I don't suppose you would help me up?" Candice shrugged, then helped Stephanie get up. "Thank you for being nicer than I," Stephanie said, dusting herself off. "I have no good excuse for my behavior. I wanted to win at any cost. Are you hurt?"

"Not really," Candice said.

"I'm also sorry about my choice of words toward you," Stephanie said, looking sincere. "I was caught up in the heat of the moment, and it was wrong to insult you as such. I don't really know you. I shouldn't judge like that."

"You wouldn't be the first," Candice said.

Stephanie extended her hand to Candice. "Stephanie Turner."

Candice took her hand to shake. "Candice Kane."

"I wish you luck with the elimination ceremony tonight," Stephanie said. "Particularly since it is partly my fault."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: That, and she seems legitimately nice. I do not care much for the whole desire of uncountable sexual encounters, but I do believe she can be a good friend. (Stephanie goes wide-eyed.) I mean, of course, not that I need friends, or even have time for friends, but she could be a good friend for someone who feels that unnecessary drive to have one.

* * *

"**What do you mean we lost?**" Danielle screamed at the rest of her teammates at the finish line.

"Stephanie tripped Candice, which caused her to fall into third place, after a member of Team Amazon and a member of Team Moon," Ophelia said. "Pretty straightforward, really."

Danielle glared at Candice, poking her between her breasts. "How did you let her trip you?"

Candice slapped Danielle's hand away. "**Do not **touch me like that again. And I did not 'let' Stephanie trip me," Candice said, using finger quotes. "I wasn't expecting it."

"So it's basically your fault we lost!" Danielle yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"I was way ahead of you," Candice said, irritatedly massaging her forehead.

"I was babysitting George!" Danielle yelled. "He could've gotten hurt if I weren't there to save the day!"

"She's kind of right," George said, smiling.

Candice sighed. "I'm sorry I got snappish with you, Danielle."

"Wait, why are **you **apologizing, girl?" Isis asked, raising an eyebrow. "She's the one who should be apologizing to you!"

"Um, no," Danielle said, fiddling with her hair.

"Maybe we both need to apologize to each other," Candice said. "Doesn't hurt to try to get along."

"Um, no, I didn't do anything wrong!" Danielle shouted. "I don't need to apologize!"

"I'm this close to smacking you in the head," Isis said, glaring at Danielle. "Don't tempt me!" Danielle shrunk down in fear.

Ophelia looked around, then nervously spoke up. "Hey, Isis-"

"No!" Isis shouted, angry. Ophelia nervously backed down as well.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: I had to have done something, right? (Ophelia counts on her fingers, then takes her shoes off to count on her toes.) Well, counting all sixteen of my fingers and toes didn't help. Not sure why I thought that'd give me the answer.

Danielle: Isis is a bully, plain and simple. I don't do anything to her, and she threatens my very life! She's just so wicked. She's the Elphaba to my Galinda, only she's evil!

* * *

In the losers' cabin, Katrina was slowly walking around, holding on to the wall, though she was quickly knocked down by Xuxa, glomping her tight. "Thank you," Xuxa said softly.

Katrina blinked in confusion. "You're welcome."

Xuxa picked herself off the ground, and helped Katrina back up. "You're walking again."

Katrina grinned. "I cannot be contained!" Katrina giggled. "OK, I actually stole that line from this story I read."

Xuxa hugged Katrina again, softly this time, tearing up. "Thank you, though. You're like the only person who's ever liked me. Like, really liked me. For some reason, almost everyone hates me."

"I'm not popular either," Katrina said assuringly.

"Are you absolutely hated and detested by everyone and constantly made fun of and belittled for being sub-human?" Xuxa asked.

Katrina bit her lip before answering. "No…."

"That's my life," Xuxa said, still hugging Katrina. "It's so nice to have a real friend, though."

"You're a nice girl," Katrina said, with a huge smile. "Kids can be cruel. I hope everyone watching can see what a special girl you are."

"Thanks," Xuxa said, smiling comfortably. "Oh, and we won! We get the nice cabin now!"

"That's great!" Katrina exclaimed. "You want to room together?"

"Oh yes, yes!" Xuxa exclaimed, hugging Katrina tighter.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Candice is an infection on our team. A slutty infection infesting the morale of our team, and has to go. Nothing personal. (Danielle smiled nervously.) OK, it is personal, but my point still stands! (Danielle continued smiling nervously.) She's hot, OK? She's hot, athletic, and I'm jealous, so she has to go. That doesn't make me too small and petty, I hope. Just a teensy bit, right? (Danielle looks down and shakes her head.)

Ophelia: (tearing up) I know Isis is really really mad at me, and I don't really know why, but I really want her to stay. I just wish I know what I did wrong. Ulysses is just awful, though! Seriously, we girls are tough! (Ophelia makes a weird "tough" face, as well as a "muscle" for the camera. Which isn't anything, really.)

Isis: Danielle's got to go, Danielle's got to go, **Danielle's got to go!**

* * *

The eight members of Team Himalayas sat around the campfire that night in their comfortable chairs, though the contestants themselves looked less than comfortable. The podium had a plate of seven blocks on it. Bridgette was standing behind the podium before them, but she was nervously looking around.

"Where's Izzy?" Danielle asked, looking at her arm, tapping where she would've worn a watch, if she had one. "I've got things to do. I'd like to get this over with."

"You may not," Bridgette said, grinning, rocking back and forth on her feet with her hands in her pockets. Danielle scoffed. "Izzy has to straighten some things out right now with the producer-she didn't much like the illegal gambling, and she's having a meeting with Izzy as we speak."

"The producer's a girl?" Bob asked, confused. "I thought producers were boys."

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no," Bridgette said, glaring at Ulysses to see if he'd add anything, though he seemed deep in thought in his own world. "Izzy has given me the go-ahead to do the elimination ceremony."

"Can't you just be nice and not make us eliminate anyone this week?" Danielle asked, batting her eyelids.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: (looking angry, with her arms crossed over her chest) Won't be sorry if it's you, honey.

* * *

"I'm sure you all know how this works," Bridgette said, drumming her fingers on the podium. "I'm not going to insult you by pretending it's all brand new to you. If I call your name, come up to get your block."

"Ophelia."

"Bob."

"Isis."

"George."

"Yancy."

"Ulysses."

Danielle and Candice looked to each other nervously, sitting in adjacent chairs. "Can I say something?" Danielle asked sweetly.

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "Nothing's ever stopped you before."

"Thank you!" Danielle exclaimed, then glared angrily at Candice. "I hope this teaches you a lesson, missy! You worthless whore! I hope to see you in-"

"Enough!" Bridgette yelled, taking the remote from behind the podium, and ejecting Danielle straight into the air, leaving her screaming.

"So, I'm safe?" Candice asked nervously.

Bridgette sighed, then walked up to Candice, crying slightly and hugging her. "I'm sorry. You lost."

"Oh," Candice said, a bit confused, hugging back. "Did you accidentally send Danielle hurtling through the sky, though? I mean, if it should've been me-"

"No," Bridgette said, smirking. "That was intentional. Unfortunately, she is safe, though."

"Should you be playing favorites?" Candice asked. "I mean, shouldn't the host be unbiased, and stuff?"

"Probably yes," Bridgette said, with her hands back in her pockets, looking down. "I can't really stand Danielle, though."

Candice smirked. "I tend to remember that you weren't originally crazy about me, either."

"I was wrong," Bridgette said, embarrassed. "I've had other issues with Danielle, though."

"She's not so bad," Candice said. "I mean, she's hurtful, but a lot of other people are, too. She's no saint, but she's not that bad, really."

"Yes she is!" Isis shouted.

"Danielle's just got some issues," Candice said. "She seems to get along with Courtney. Maybe you should talk to her."

"I guess I can try," Bridgette said, then sighed. "I suppose I can give her another chance."

"Doesn't deserve it!" Isis said, tearing up, and walking toward Candice nervously.

"Maybe not," Candice said, shrugging.

"I'll miss you, girl," Isis said, hugging Candice tight.

"Thanks, but I'll be all right," Candice said. "Heard the hotel's pretty nice."

"Oh, it is!" Bridgette exclaimed. "The boat's here to take you there now. But between you and me, you don't have to be in any hurry if you don't want."

"I won't be long," Candice said, looking toward the sky, smiling. "Just want to talk to Isis a bit before I leave."

"That's OK," Bridgette said. "I'll be sure to visit when Heather… actually, I wonder if she's going to be here in time, anyway."

"In time for what?" Candice asked, curious.

"Oh, um, nothing!" Bridgette exclaimed, with a huge grin. "I'll just leave you alone for now." Bridgette nervously walked away, wiping her forehead.

Ophelia walked up, sniffling, then hugging Candice. "I'm sorry I never got those slut germs I wanted."

Candice rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Trust me, you don't want them."

"Ha, I knew they were real!" Ophelia exclaimed, hugging Candice again. "I'll miss you. You were fun! And now can you ask Isis to forgive me, because I did something really bad, but I don't know what I did, and it's really bothering me, but since she likes you, she'll listen to you if you tell her to forgive me." Ophelia started crying.

"Are you crying?" Candice asked, concerned.

"Yes," Ophelia said, as heartfelt as she knew how. "I really should be used to it by now. It happens kind of a lot. I'm BFFs with someone, and then one day, out of the blue, they get really really mad at me, and they never tell me why." Ophelia took off Candice's bikini top and blew her nose into it, leaving Candice embarrassed, in shock, and everyone else staring in shock, though Ophelia quickly put it back on.

"Did you really have to take that off?" Candice asked, a bit irritated.

"Was that bad?" Ophelia asked, confused, then started crying again. "I always mess things up. I just… I'm bad at thinking sometimes."

"It's OK," Candice said. "Just… please don't do that again."

"I won't," Ophelia said, hugging Candice again.

Isis sighed. "I give up. I forgive you, Ophelia."

Ophelia gently hugged Isis. "Thank you," she said softly. "And I would really be sorry if I knew what I did, so can you pretty please tell me what I did, with sugar on top? And a cherry?"

"The dibs thing last night," Isis said.

"Ha ha, that was fun!" Ophelia exclaimed. "I love playing dibs, and punishing those who don't follow the rules, and stuff. Good memories."

"You pretty much forced me out of my bed," Isis said.

Ophelia waved dismissively. "All in good fun."

"I wasn't having fun," Isis said. "I had the best first, Danielle was being a whiny brat, and you encouraged her to take it from me! That wasn't right. I was in bed first."

Ophelia looked down. "You weren't having fun?"

"No!" Isis shouted, then moved her hand down her body, calming herself down. "No, I wasn't having fun."

"I'm sorry," Ophelia said. "I'm a little oblivious sometimes, but I love you!" Ophelia hugged Isis tight. "I would never do anything mean to you on purpose!"

"Thank you," Isis said. "That actually means a lot to me."

"Oh, and Candice, did anyone ever tell you that your shorts are on backwards, 'cause they totally are!"

Candice sighed. "Again?"

**

* * *

**

**Votes**

Bob: Candice  
Candice: Danielle  
Danielle: Candice  
George: Ulysses  
Isis: Danielle  
Ophelia: Ulysses  
Ulysses: Candice  
Yancy: Candice

Candice: 4  
Danielle: 2  
Ulysses: 2

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice

Remaining Team Amazon: Alistair, Frederique, Katrina, Percy, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Remaining Team Himalayas: Bob, Danielle, George, Isis, Ophelia, Ulysses, Yancy  
Remaining Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

* * *

Candice is gone. *sniff* It's too bad, really. I liked her. She was sweet. It is how it must be, though. Not all of the contestants really liked her. Can't get rid of a meanie every time, I suppose.


	9. Day 5, Part 1: While Rita Sings a Curse

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 9: Day 5: Part 1: While Rita Sings a Curse**

"Come in," a woman with a deep, echoing voice said after hearing a knock on the door. Izzy slammed open the door, cart wheeling her way toward the woman, sitting behind a large desk. The woman could not be seen, as she had her big chair turned away: all that could be seen are her two hands, both of which had large metal gloves on. She pressed her hands in front of her unseen face, at least Chris was guessing. "We have a problem."

Izzy shut her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Yes, I know, gambling is bad, don't want to corrupt the young minds, blah blah blah, I gotcha', Penelope."

"You gambled badly," Penelope said. "We don't want to teach the young kids watching to lose."

Izzy shrugged. "What can I say? Elli knew what she was doing."

"She took you all for a ride," Penelope said, pressing her hands in front of her face. "A long and bumpy ride. You should be ashamed."

Izzy waved her hand dismissively to Penelope again. "I don't feel shame. Nope, nuh-uh, never!"

"I am quite aware," Penelope said in her usual scary, echo-y voice.

"So I get a slap on the wrist, right?" Izzy asked, grinning.

"Of course," Penelope said, then turned her chair around, revealing a light blonde woman with long hair, dressed in light pink, probably around thirty-ish. Penelope stepped up from her chair, then approached Izzy, took one of her metal gloves off, held Izzy's wrist with the other hand, and slapped Izzy's hand. "Hope you learned your lesson!" Penelope exclaimed, very sweet.

"I did," Izzy said, looking at her wrist. "You hit hard! I think I need to go to the hospital to get that taken care of!"

"Nurse Hatchet will do, I'm sure," Penelope said, smirking.

"Of course," Izzy said, grinning.

Penelope slapped herself in the head. "Oh yeah, Chris was here recently. Complained about the current season. He kind of sucks."

"Oh, very much," Izzy said, nodding in agreement.

"I wanted to ask if you had any ideas," Penelope said. "He's going to keep harassing me until he gets on the show."

"Hmm," Izzy went. Izzy tapped her chin in thought. Then she tapped Penelope's chin in thought.

"Could you please not do that?" Penelope asked.

Izzy quickly took her hand away, chuckling nervously. "Sorry. I don't have any thoughts at the moment. I mean, you could always go the traditional restraining order route, but trust me, those aren't going to help."

"You would be the expert," Penelope said. "Didn't work when I put one out on you."

"And aren't you lucky the police couldn't get me off your doorstep?" Izzy asked, excited.

"Well, yeah, now," Penelope said. "Audiences really took to you. You definitely did scare me at first, though."

"You wouldn't be the first person I've made fear for my life, and you won't be anywhere close to the last," Izzy said. "Believe me, I can understand that. And I like you, so I won't be taking my revenge out on you anymore!"

"Well that's good," Penelope said, but almost immediately had a worried look after. "Wait, what do you mean 'anymore'?"

"That's not important," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively.

"You keep doing that," Penelope said, "with the hand wave. It's kind of disrespectful. I am your boss, after all."

Izzy sniffled, starting to cry. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you."

Penelope giggled. "Relax, I was kidding!"

Izzy smirked. "So was I! That's what I do! I'm always happy and junk!"

"Usually, anyway," Penelope said. "I did notice looking back at the tapes for _Total Drama Chris, _that… um, how come you didn't interrupt that?"

Izzy blinked. "Sorry?"

"I mentioned the name of _Total Drama-"_

"Kumquats are awesome!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping into the air while punching the air.

Penelope giggled again. "OK, you're sharper than I was expecting there. Anyway, I noticed back in the episode where Jewel was disguised as Heather-"

"I'd rather not talk about that," Izzy said, shuddering. "And I know I'm usually joking about things like that, or at least half-joking, but I'm being serious. I'd really like to not talk about that." Izzy sighed. "And I wish I could sound more serious in telling you that, since I sound like I'm still kidding in my usual Izzy way."

"It's OK, I don't want to push," Penelope said. "If you ever want to talk, you know where I am."

"Thank you," Izzy said, much more sincere than usual. Then went back to her usual Izzy self in asking another question. "Could you tell me where you got those gloves from, 'cause they're way wicked!"

"Oh, I made them myself!" Penelope said, proudly showing her hands off. Then realizing she still hadn't put her other glove back on. "Whoops, forgot I still had a naked hand here. I just figured I'm the producer, so I'm supposed to be big and scary, so I like dressing the part!" Penelope takes out a small voice box and puts it to her mouth. "And I like doing the creepy Frank Welker voice," Penelope said in her echo-y creepy voice.

"I like the whole mystique of it, really," Izzy said.

"And it scared Chris!" Penelope exclaimed, in her sweet voice once more. "Really, he needed to be scared straight. Otherwise, he'd have probably been even worse than he was." Penelope shook her head. "Seriously, people watched the show for Duncan and Owen. He wasn't as big with audiences as he thought he was." Penelope tapped her chin. "Still more popular than Katie, though I felt bad for her anyway. Producers have hearts, too!"

Izzy sniffled again. "Aww, hug time!"

"No hugs," Penelope said sternly. "I could kind of relate to Courtney not wanting hugs."

"Fair enough," Izzy said. "So, back to the show?"

"Yes," Penelope said, then raised a finger, "but remember, no more gambling if you're going to lose to pathetically!"

"I promise!" Izzy exclaimed, saluting Penelope, then cart wheeled out the door, while Penelope stood there, shaking her head.

* * *

Bridgette was standing on the Dock of Shame, on her cell phone. "You're kidding," Bridgette said, looking like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That happens in real life?" Bridgette shook her head as she paced the Dock of Shame nervously. "Fine. No, it's fine. We'll have to make do." Bridgette hung up the phone and put it in her pocket and sighed, then nervously turned to the camera.

"Is everything all right?" Ezekiel asked, from behind his camera.

"Not really," Bridgette said. "Heather was coming here today with another contestant for the show, one she really believes should be here."

"That's not good?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"No, that is good," Bridgette said. "They're being held up at the airport, though. Something about someone accusing Heather and Mallory of being Christians."

"So her name is Mallory, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Well, yes," Bridgette said. "What kind of airport holds someone for being Christian, though?"

"I didn't know Heather was even Christian," Ezekiel said.

"I don't really know," Bridgette said. "I don't think it matters if they stop you in the airport, though." Bridgette shook her head in the palm of her hand, then turned to the camera, smiling, though clearly irritated. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _the contestants had a foot race around the island. Todd cheated a lot, and Courtney said that nothing he did violated his contract."

"She did say we could have him arrested for attempted murder and kidnapping," Ezekiel said.

"The police laughed at such a 'funny story,'" Bridgette said, irritated, using finger quotes. "So it basically means he cheated, and we can't even do anything about it.

"That's too bad, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Todd's cheating, as well as Stephanie's cheating, caused Team Himalayas to lose," Bridgette said. "Even though Stephanie apologized, saying she was caught up in the heat of the moment, so I guess I can't really stay mad at her."

"Stephanie's kind of scary, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Really?" Bridgette asked, a bit confused. "I don't know about that. I don't know her that well. I just know she apologized for tripping Candice." Bridgette looks down at her feet, rubbing one against the dock. "She deserves to still be in this game. She played well, Danielle was jealous, and the little creep orchestrated her elimination."

"Danielle was jealous?" Ezekiel asked, looking confused.

"Very," Bridgette said, looking sour. "I know Candice and I didn't get off to the best start, and I'm ashamed of myself for that, but she's a good person, and I'm really sad she's gone."

"I'm soory, Bridgette," Ezekiel said.

Bridgette sighed. "It's OK. I'll see her later and see how she's doing. But now, we have another episode to do! Who can cook the nicest meal for us all to enjoy this evening? Find out, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

* * *

Danielle was lying on the floor in her sleeping bag in the third cabin, while Isis kept poking her back, to her annoyance. "Go away," Danielle said.

"What is **wrong **with you?" Isis yelled. "Cruelly kicking off Candice for your own selfish reasons?"

"She was a skank," Danielle said, shutting her eyes tight. "We don't need people like her bringing down our team's morale."

"What team morale?" Isis yelled, holding her head in her hands, frustrated. "You destroy all of the team morale!"

"No, I'm pretty sure that's Ulysses," Danielle said.

"Then why didn't you vote him off?" Isis yelled, still poking Danielle repeatedly. "At least he would've deserved it!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (nervously twiddling her fingers) OK, truth time: I hate Candice, but mostly because, well, she's hot. And athletic. And pretty much perfect, aside from being a complete and utter skank. And aside from me being even more perfect of course. And… and… (Danielle breaks down, sobbing.) Why don't people here like me?

* * *

"I don't think Danielle likes you poking her," Ophelia said, nervous.

"That's the point," Isis said, continuing the poking of Danielle.

"Ooh, me next! Me next!" Ophelia exclaimed, raising her hand, hopping up and down on one foot. Ophelia then leapt over to poke Danielle repeatedly, very quickly.

"Stop that!" Danielle yelled.

Ophelia smiled wide. "Ooh, you were right, Isis! She doesn't like it!" Ophelia clapped to herself, then started poking Danielle some more.

"I said **stop that!**" Danielle yelled again.

"Double time!" Ophelia exclaimed, poking her with both her hands.

"**Stop-**" Danielle started to yell even louder, but cut herself short. "I mean, please continue, Ophelia. I'm starting to like it when you do that."

"Aww," Ophelia said, stopping the poking, and pretending to wipe a tear from her eye. "I guess Isis is better at this game than me."

"It's not really a game," Isis said. "It's 'why the hell did Danielle want to get rid of Candice?"

"Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!" Ophelia exclaimed, bouncing up and down with her hand raised.

Isis sighed. "OK, Ophelia."

"Danielle wanted to get rid of Candice because she wanted to protect me, her BFF, from Candice's slu… um… some sort of virus, or bacteria, or something… I think Candice was a little bothered when I used that other term."

"She was," Isis said.

Danielle smirked. "You mean 'slut germs'?" Danielle waved her hand dismissively. "She loved that term! She wishes more people would've congratulated her on her slut germs!"

Ophelia bounced up and down, excited. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!"

"Um, she's lying," Isis said, rolling her eyes. "She hated that."

Ophelia tapped her chin, looking upward in thought, then holding her forehead. "Ooh, this is a tough one. My two best friends, at least for the next few days, are giving me two different answers." Ophelia points to Danielle. "On one hand, you claim that Candice loved the term, and would be hurt deeply if I stopped using the term."

Danielle shrugged. "Yeah, let's go with that."

Ophelia then pointed to Isis. "On the other hand, you claim that she hated that term."

"She did," Isis said. "It's kind of insulting, and I'm kind of ashamed I used that sort of language to her. I hope she knows we're cool!"

Ophelia shrugged. "I thought it was fun, butt I guess not everyone has Ophelia's awesome sense of humor, so I can forgive Candice. But I'd hate not to use a term of endearment if she truly loved it." Ophelia started tapping her chin again. "I guess I can ask Candice the next time I see her."

"I think that's a great idea!" Danielle exclaimed. "She's proud of who she is. You'll see."

"Wait," Isis said, her eyes going wide, "you honestly believe she's **proud **of that? You serious?"

"Um, yeah," Danielle said, blinking in confusion. "Isn't that kind of the point, what she's going for, wants all the guys here to know that she'll do them for the right price?"

"She's not a prostitute!" Isis yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

Danielle shrugged. "So she gives for free. I'm not one to judge."

"You judge everyone, all the damn time!" Isis yelled.

"Um, no, that would be you, Miss I-Hate-White-People!" Danielle snapped back.

Isis looked blankly ahead for a few seconds, then shook her head out of it. "OK, look, we both judge everyone, OK? We're both guilty of doing that, but at least I have a good reason!"

Danielle rolled her eyes. "Yes yes, 'woe is me, I'm oppressed,' blah blah blah."

"You did **not **just go there!" Isis yelled.

"Um, yeah, I did," Danielle said, stepping out from her sleeping bag, glaring at Isis. "You think you're the only person who's ever had problems! And maybe you do! But guess what? White people have problems too!" Danielle blushed and turned away a bit. "I mean, I obviously don't, but other, lesser white people, like Candice."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (shaking her head) Isis embarrasses me. I so wish she would discontinue trying to lump me in with the trouble-causing African Canadians like herself, trying to bring me down with them! I do not want them! Why won't she just let everyone be colorblind like every decent person already is?

* * *

Isis got down on her knees, and started crying slightly. "OK, look, I'm sorry. I'm not perfect, OK? It was wrong of me to pick on Candice."

"That's about the only thing you've ever done right," Danielle said, yawning.

"No, really, it wasn't," Isis said. "Candice isn't perfect either, but I love how she can let insults bounce off so well. I wish I could do that. She's a good person."

"She seemed nice," Ophelia said, shrugging. "I liked her. She had the softest fun bags!"

"She let you touch them?" Isis asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, no," Ophelia said, looking down at her feet. "She was hurt after I did that. I hate hurting people. I just want to make them happy."

"I don't like hurting people either," Danielle said, curling into a ball on the ground.

"That's a laugh," Isis said, rolling her eyes.

"I **don't**!" Danielle yelled, angry. "Do you think I actually **like **having almost everyone here hating me for no reason at all?"

"Seriously, did you ever pass the first grade?" Isis asked.

"I'll have you know that I'm a straight-A student, and I take all of the hardest classes!" Danielle shouted. "I am extremely intelligent! I know everything!"

"And yet you have no street smarts," Isis said, shaking her head. "None. Zero. Zip."

"We can't all be thugs on the street," Danielle said.

"And what is **that **supposed to mean?" Isis shouted, raising a fist.

Danielle rolled her eyes. "It means, for some reason, what I just said offended you. It shouldn't have, but it did. Happy?"

"No," Isis said, then went into her sleeping bag.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: Like I said, Danielle is very intelligent, academics-wise. Empathy is not a word she understands in the least, though. She doesn't get it, and she doesn't even want to get it! She's happy being in her stupid little Danielle world!

Danielle: Isis always has to make everything all about her! I can't believe how selfish she is! I try to be nice and sweet and demure, and she's always 'me me me"! Seems a bit hypocritical.

Ophelia: (sticking out her tongue, waving her arms frantically up and down) La la! Look at me! I'm an emoticon!

* * *

"Ha ha, we have had a successful day, my minion," Todd said, doing push-ups on the floor, while Hank was in the lower bunk of a bed.

"We came in second," Hank said. "Is that really successful?"

"Of course," Todd said. "We didn't come in last, and we made that easy hot girl come in last, and got her eliminated, ha ha!"

"So we lost a hot girl," Hank said. "Why is that good?"

"We have now earned her respect," Todd said, climbing quickly into his top bunk. "Now that we have triumphed over her, she would surely go out with us!"

"That sounds pretty nice," Hank said. "Girls do seem to dig the bad boy, after all."

Todd stroked his chin. "Well, me at least. You're not really bad enough yet. None of this badness seems to come to you very naturally."

"Not really, no," Hank said.

"You still need much training," Todd said. "Girls do love the bad boy, after all, and you are not yet a bad enough dude to make out with the President's wife."

"I think she's a little old for me," Hank said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she looks nice for her age, but-"

"It doesn't have to be the President's wife," Todd said. "It could be any girl you dream of! When you're bad, every girl wants you, and no girl can resist!"

"You do realize that's nonsense, I hope," Quincy said, looking like he was asleep.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot we had a roommate," Hank said. "You should speak up more often."

"I speak when I have something to say," Quincy said, turning over. "And I think it's a bad idea to follow Todd around, Hank."

"But, but girls!" Hank exclaimed. "I loves me the ladies. And I don't exactly see the ladies going after you." Quincy didn't respond.

"He knows nothing of how to woo the womenfolk," Todd said. "That much is clear.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Quincy: Really, Isis seems sweet. I wouldn't mind asking her out, except… well, I'm a little nervous about it. And Isis seems to have it set in her mind that I belong with Stephanie, for some reason. Stephanie's a little bit annoying, really.

* * *

"Thank you," Xuxa said, smiling bright as she helped Katrina push a second bed into one of the rooms. "You're like, so nice!"

"I try," Katrina said, wearing a huge smile, pushing the bed with Xuxa.

"This bed's pretty heavy, though," Xuxa said. "I wouldn't have minded sharing a bed."

"I would have minded," Katrina said. "I like my space. Sprawling out over my entire bed. Not sharing. That sort of thing."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: It's really awesome how fast Katrina recovered. She tried hard to coax herself out of being injured, and just like that, she's bright and healthy as ever now! It's really amazing how many people get better so fast after severe trauma. (Xuxa shook her head.) I felt really bad for Trent after the first season, and I still have no idea how he kept getting better so fast!

* * *

Someone could barely be seen peeking from the closet, as Rachel entered the room that Katrina and Xuxa were in, lying atop their beds. Rachel was carrying a box of tissues to Xuxa.

"I heard the news," Rachel said. "I thought you might need these."

"No," Xuxa said, with a dark smile. "Not anymore! I want revenge!"

"Now that attitude I like!" Rachel exclaimed. "I mean, let's face it, he's wronged both of us-me more so than you-but I still can't believe he actually said those things to your face! Not that I like you much, but still, that was wrong."

"That was," Katrina said, looking bored, doodling in a notebook. "If you two have are plotting any revenge schemes, you can count me in."

"We'll vote him off next," Rachel stated. "I just wish I didn't have to turn to Percy. I mean, getting him to agree to take out Walter may not have been as big a deal, since no one liked Walter, but I'm pretty sure he and Frederique are cool."

"What about Zack?" Katrina asked.

"Who?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That boy everyone ignores for some reason," Katrina said. "I feel kind of bad for him. I haven't even seen him in a while. I wonder if he's still here."

"If we're ignoring him, he can't be that cute," Rachel said, yawning.

"I wouldn't mind talking to him," Katrina said, smiling brightly. "He might be really nice, and he might agree to vote for Frederique if we're friends."

"I knew it!" a voice yelled from the closet. The door was kicked open, and out stepped a short-haired brunette girl in ragged clothing, holding a knife.

"Who the hell are you?" Rachel asked surprisingly calmly, while Xuxa leapt under her bed, and Katrina looked very worried.

"Someone I know," Katrina said, shaky. "Rita, please leave my friends alone."

"Friends? Ha! That's rich!" Rita yelled, laughing a bit, quite unsettlingly. "I don't really care about hurting them, though. I want you!" Rita lunged toward Katrina with the knife, though as she approached, Xuxa grabbed Rita's legs, causing her to trip, and Rachel quickly grabbed the knife from her.

Rachel stood before Rita, standing triumphantly, playing with the knife a bit. "No one hurts my friends, bitch!"

Rita just stayed on the ground, and started tearing up. "It's not fair," she said softly. Rachel and Xuxa, peeking out from underneath the bed, looked confused, as Katrina continued looking upon nervously.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: I feel bad about not catching Rita earlier. I really need better security. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like crazy people-I am one myself-but I like the fun kind of crazy people, like Sierra! Rita was not someone I would have allowed here. I'm really sorry, Katrina.

* * *

"You know her?" Rachel asked, as Izzy and Chef were dragging Rita away, who was drugged.

"Yes," Katrina said, nervously tapping her fingers on her bed. "She used to be a very good friend."

"Aww, you two had a falling out," Xuxa said, blowing her nose into a tissue.

"Not quite," Katrina said, crying slightly. "She used to be really nice, but a couple of years ago, she tried to kill another really good friend of hers, Wilma. I don't really know why. She just kind of snapped, and she was put in an asylum. I visited her regularly, but she really wasn't the same person. She was let out recently, but judging from this incident, it was probably too soon." Katrina started crying heavy, and reached over to grab a tissue from Xuxa's box. "She was such a wonderful friend. I don't know what happened, but I miss her. I hope she can get better."

Rachel blinked. "She tried to kill you. I'd say you need better friends."

"I have you and Xuxa," Katrina said, smiling bright as she glomped Rachel. "You two are nice and wonderful, and I'm so happy to have gotten to know you! But I still miss Rita."

"Thanks!" Xuxa exclaimed, leaping out from under the bed to glomp Rachel and Katrina.

"You're too soft, you know," Rachel said. "Rita is clearly evil. It's probably for the best to just forget about her."

Katrina sighed. "I can't."

Rachel shook her head. "I don't understand your thought process, really, but I won't argue. If you think you can reach out to her, just don't go alone."

Katrina's smile grew even wider. "Thank you! I really, really hope that Rita will be OK."

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (crying slightly, showing off a photo of Katrina and Rita, smiling together) This is from a couple years ago, a few days before Rita snapped. I take it with me everywhere I go, always hoping that I can get my friend back. I really didn't have other friends to turn too, and I've been really lonely since Rita's been gone.

Rachel: Rita, I hope you are watching because I'm giving you fair warning right now: if you **ever **do anything like that to Katrina again, there will never be a third attempt on her life, I can assure you.

Todd: That was hardcore! Rita, I bow down to you. I have never attempted murder before. Accidental manslaughter, we won't get into that, but it still isn't the same.

* * *

Early in the morning, Katrina was sitting on the front stoop of her cabin. And she was quickly glomped by Danielle.

"I'm sorry," Danielle said, tearing up, holding on tight.

"OK," Katrina said, confused.

"For wishing for your death," Danielle said. "I didn't really mean it when I wished that you would die. It was just one of those things… I have powers."

"I'm pretty sure the attack had nothing to do with you," Katrina said, raising her eyebrow.

"It did, though," Danielle said, sniffling. "The universe tends to bend to my every whim, and with great power comes great responsibility, and I really wasn't very responsible."

"I think I can forgive you this once," Katrina said.

"Oh, thank you!" Danielle exclaimed. "I mean, I still don't really like you much, but I don't want you dead."

"How comforting," Katrina answered.

"I know," Danielle said, smiling. "That's what makes me so nice."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: Thank you? I'm not really sure what the appropriate reply to that would be.

Danielle: (rolling her eyes) I didn't **have **to comfort you, you know. Seriously, how about a little "thank you for being such a wonderful and caring person, Danielle?" (Danielle shakes her head.) Still, I know, I know, I must turn the other cheek, and try to be nice even when Katrina is treating me cruelly.

* * *

"Quiche," Katrina said, yummily taking a bite from her plate, then giving a thumbs up toward the kitchen. "Delicious, DJ. Thank you."

"No problem," DJ said. "I love cookin' for you guys."

"Not as much as I love cooking for **you **guys, though," Chef said, piling an unidentifiable milky-looking substance on Ulysses' plate.

Ulysses took a bite, gagged for a couple of seconds, then swallowed it. "Strong meal today, Chef. Well done!"

"I cooked my special recipe this morning," Chef said. "Knew you'd appreciate it, at least."

Danielle looked at the white stuff on her plate, and felt dizzy from the scent alone. "I think I'll pass. Have to watch me weight, and all."

"You're the skinniest one, here," Isis said. "And I should know! I'm too skinny, and you're even skinnier than I am!"

"I wish I could be as skinny as you," Danielle said. "If there's one good thing about you-probably the only thing-it's your waistline.

"I wouldn't mind having a little more meat on me," Isis said. "Guys like a girl with a little booty."

Chef looked a bit worried toward Danielle. "You really are a little skinny, girl. You really should eat somethin'."

Nearby, Nicole was very slowly eating the lumpy oatmeal in front of her, as she looked day dreamily Katrina's way.

"You like her, don't you," Jennie said teasingly.

"What, no, no," Nicole said defensively. "I barely know her!"

"Go talk to her," Jennie said, grinning. "What have you got to lose?"

"I can't just go up to her," Nicole said, nervous. "I mean, she'll probably think I'm hitting on her."

"Isn't that what you were intending?" Stephanie asked, sipping her coffee. "This is really weak."

"You're talking to us," Jennie said.

"It's a little different here, though," Nicole said. "I think I kind of might maybe have a teensy crush."

"And you don't have a crush on me," Stephanie said, writing something down on a notepad. "I'm insulted."

"It's not that," Nicole said. "It's just… well, she's been tortured by Justin, a lot of her teammates, and now some psycho tried to kill her, and through it all, she's just been so sweet and happy. And, well, she's kind of cute, too."

"Fair enough," Stephanie said, still not even looking up, eating some lumpy oatmeal. "I am nothing if not irritable, so I shall forgive you for not considering me as a viable option."

Jennie shrugged, eating a strawberry. "I get pretty angry too. Important issues, mind you, but still righteous anger." Jennie twirled the stem of the strawberry in her hand, irritated. "**These strawberries are lousy!**"

"**I didn't cook them!**" Courtney yelled. "**I let you eat the oatmeal stir-ins! Stop complaining!**"

Chef put his hand on Courtney's shoulder, shaking his head. "Now you know how it feels."

"I make actual food, at least," Courtney said, getting flustered.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: You know, I wish I knew how Katrina felt about girls. For some reason, a lot of straight people get very offended and scared if you so much as say "hi." I don't get that. But it's worth a try, really. At worst, she'll get angry, and I'll know I was wrong about her. At best, she'll like me back. (Nicole shrugs, then smiles.) Guess it's worth a shot!

Stephanie: That is why I stay away from love. Too complicated, too messy. Best just to focus on one's own life, and not let crushes get in the way. (Stephanie sighs and shakes her head.) Good luck, Nicole.

* * *

"Look at me!" Xuxa exclaimed, balancing a fork on her nose, as Katrina giggled. "I'm a seal!"

"And you look like one, too," Alistair said, then chuckled to himself.

Xuxa rolled her eyes. "So immature."

"He's a boy," Rachel said, sounding bored, lifting quiche on her fork. "That's all they know."

"Yes," Alistair muttered. "I'm the immature one. Yeah."

"Not compared to **him**," Xuxa said, looking disgusted as she pointed over toward Frederique, who'd just entered the mess hall. "We don't really want you here."

"I'll go to another table then," Frederique said, irritated, as he started to sit at a table by himself. Right as he was about to sit, Xuxa quickly hurried over and pulled the chair away, leaving Frederique to fall to the ground.

"How does that feel?" Xuxa asked, angrily glaring at Frederique.

"It hurt," Frederique said, glaring back, flat on the floor. "A lot."

"Just like when you broke my heart," Xuxa said, then turned to Rachel. "And maybe her heart too, I'm not really sure."

"My heart wasn't broken," Rachel said. "Still don't like the jerk, though."

"I never said I liked either of you!" Frederique shouted.

"You never said you didn't like us!" Xuxa yelled. "You just led us on like a big, huge jerk face!"

"What was I supposed to do?" Frederique yelled.

"Not be a jackass," George said, with his head turned to the side.

"Act like a nice, sweet person, just like me," Danielle said, looking over.

"Act like a nice, sweet person, nothing like her," Isis said, smirking. Danielle glared at her.

"Tell her she's fat and ugly and go away from the very first moment you saw her," Alistair said, then turned to Xuxa. "Seriously, no one likes you."

"Katrina and Rachel like me!" Xuxa exclaimed.

"I don't like you that much," Rachel said while sipping some coffee.

"I'm sorry," Katrina said, going over to hug Xuxa. "I still like you!"

"Thanks," Xuxa said, sniffling.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Really, if Katrina can tolerate Xuxa's nonsense, she has to be a saint.

Ophelia: Ha ha, that was funny, seeing Xuxa do that to Freddy! Because I'm mad at him! I'm actually not entirely sure why, but since all the cool kids are doing it, I'm mad too! Growl!

* * *

"I'll see you later," Katrina said, waving to Xuxa and Rachel as she walked away from their cabin, and started walking to the back, when she was pulled over.

"Katrina, please listen," Frederique said, letting Katrina go.

Katrina angrily poked Frederique's chest. "You **do not **get to touch me."

"OK," Frederique said, nervous. "I won't. I was hoping to talk to you in private, though."

Katrina continued glaring, and crossed her arms over her chest. "You can go for it, but you should know that I'm not your biggest fan. And even less since you **grabbed me!**"

"Can you stop focusing on that?" Frederique asked, irritated.

"Are you **seriously **telling me to be happy about that?" Katrina yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"You're kind of taking that out of proportion," Frederique said, shaking his head. "I wanted to talk to you about something serious-"

"And apparently having a man-one I do not like-unexpectedly **grabbing me **isn't serious, **goodbye!**" Katrina yelled, then stormed off, leaving Frederique confused.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: What the hell was his problem? Couldn't just apologize, no, had to make things difficult! Because I needed another reason not to like him, apparently!

Frederique: I know we weren't best of friends-far from it-and I know she meant well with trying to hook her friends up with me, but what the hell was that? I needed her attention, and I thought she was actually, you know, somewhat sane. Apparently not.

* * *

The twenty-one campers were standing before Izzy and Bridgette, who were standing in front of the mess house. "Had a good breakfast?"

"It was lousy," Jennie said, sneering, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You know, Courtney didn't actually make the strawberries," Bridgette said, irritated.

"Like you know anything," Jennie said, getting angrier.

"No bickering," Izzy said. "At least not yet. We won't be providing any dinner for you all tonight, though."

"I get it," Yancy said, taking out an axe, though where it came from, we'd rather not know. "We gots to hunts our own food." Yancy cocked his axe, somehow, and headed off into the woods. Everyone else stared, confused.

"Weirdo," Rachel muttered.

"He's got the right idea, at least," Izzy said. "You will all be making a dinner for us! A dinner that will be both delicious and nutritious." Izzy tapped her chin. "Actually, forget nutritious. I don't care, as long as it tastes good, and nutritious things rarely taste good."

"That's not true," Jennie said, raising a finger. "Healthy foods can taste delicious if prepared properly."

"I hate to agree with her, but she's right," Bridgette said.

"And I'm embarrassed to have you agreeing with me, but thank you, I suppose," Jennie said, hiding her head behind her hand.

Izzy shrugged. "OK, maybe you'll get extra credit if it's healthy, but it better taste good!"

"So, is this like a three-course dinner we're preparing?" Frederique asked.

"Whatever you want to do. Izzy isn't picky, but some of our other judges may be disappointed. Izzy makes no promises. We have three makeshift kitchens in the back for our three teams to use, we can get almost any ingredients you need, and good luck!" Izzy darted off so quickly that no one could see where she went. Bridgette looked confused, then shrugged as she walked off.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: Ooh, this is going to be so exciting! I've got so many delicious recipes I want to try, and I'm sure my teamies will love having a meal both nutritious and delicious!

Ophelia: Ooh, I want to make something out of pure trans fat, corn syrup, and a ton of salt, to make the most delicious meal ever! (Ophelia thinks it over for a few seconds.) Actually, that might be overkill. If I use a ton of sea salt instead, that makes it healthy, right? All the soup commercials tell me so!

* * *

"I have a great idea!" Jennie exclaimed, almost giddy. "I think we should-"

"**No!**" Stephanie yelled. "We want to win this thing, and we're not going to win by serving ordinary fruit!"

"We need something that was slaughtered!" Todd exclaimed, a bit creepy. "Preferably something half-dead! I once had a steak so rare and fresh, the cow it came from was still half alive!"

"Eww, eww, eww!" Jennie cried out, disgusted. "I don't need to hear that!"

"Yeah, I didn't need to hear that much detail," Stephanie said. "Still, steak is elegant, and every classic meal can use a classic cut of prime beef."

"I can make a side dish," Jennie said, still excited. "I really think you guys would be pleased with-"

"We don't want a stupid fruit cup!" Stephanie yelled. "We need real food! It doesn't need to have meat-"

"Yes, it does," Todd said, grinning.

Stephanie started pulling on her ponytail, getting flustered. "OK, we obviously need a manager here, so I elect myself in taking charge."

"Whatever you say, Miss C.I.T," Hank said, rolling his eyes.

"I am not, nor have I ever been a C.I.T," Stephanie said. "I do appreciate the obvious comparison to Courtney, however, so thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment," Hank said.

"I decided to take it as one, regardless," Stephanie said. "Now here's the plan-"

"No one said we wanted to follow your plan," Quincy said.

Stephanie was gnashing her teeth. "You don't even know what it is yet! I liked you more when you didn't talk!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (shaking her head) Well, the winning streak was nice while it lasted. My team does not have a prayer.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Nicole said, standing beside Stephanie, glaring at everyone else. "How about we give Stephanie a chance? She seems to know what she's doing. I say that we listen to her."

"Thank you," Stephanie said, still not smiling. "I still have no interest in dating you, but thank you."

Nicole looked a bit irritated. "I was just helping out a friend. Nothing more, nothing less."

Stephanie looked immediately guilty. "I didn't mean it like that. Just… um… OK, that came out wrong, it's just… OK, you're right, and I have no idea what I'm saying anymore."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: "I'm sorry," Stephanie, "I'm sorry." See? It's not hard to say!

Nicole: (sighing) I don't think she meant it like that. Still kind of hurt, though.

* * *

Rachel, Katrina, Xuxa, Alistair, and Percy were lying in lounge chairs, while Frederique looked nervous. "So, what should we make?"

"Whatever you want," Rachel stated, while reading a book. "Knock yourself out."

Frederique tapped his chin. "I have this great pasta recipe I can try."

"That's good to know," Rachel said.

"So," Frederique said, pausing slightly, "can someone take care of the pasta while I work with the chicken?"

"No," Rachel said, flipping to another page. "Don't really feel like it."

Frederique's jaw dropped. "But I need help, or we'll lose the challenge!"

"That's kind of the point," Rachel said sarcastically, shaking her head. "You are a true imbecile. We want to lose so we can get eliminate you. "

"Well, we're voting Xuxa off if we lose, you know," Frederique taunted.

"Katrina," Alistair said. "I like Xuxa."

"You hate Xuxa!" Frederique yelled.

"True, I do greatly detest the girl," Alistair said, puffing on an old-fashioned pipe. "I get my jollies watching her annoying you, though. Watching her is funny. Watching Katrina isn't."

"Please, can't we vote-" Frederique started, then stopped himself, shaking his head with his hands. "OK, OK, we're voting Katrina off." Frederique turned to Alistair. "Can't you help, at least? We're on the same side here!"

"I don't cook," Alistair said. "It's something that I staunchly refuse to do. I can get that stupid kid out of the punishment room if you're that desperate, though."

Frederique looked confused. "That kid who was spying on us? You put him in that room? Does anyone even know he's there?"

Alistair shrugged. "Don't know, don't care."

"Well, yes, I can use all the help I can get," Frederique said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Rachel said we should all lose on purpose so we can get rid of Frederique, and I hate him! I hate him, **I hate him**, **I HATE HIM!** So… yeah! I can't wait 'til the big meanie's gone!

Katrina: (horrified) That… that would explain why we haven't seen Zack in a few days.

* * *

Katrina had snuck off, over to the punishment room, where she searched the ground for a key in the grass, which she found quickly. She then stuck the key in the doorknob, turned it, then opened the door. "Zack? Are you in here? I've been worried about you. I hadn't seen you for a few days." Katrina looked around, then saw Zack, huddled in a corner. "Zack!" Katrina cried out, then rushed over and glomped him, kneeling down and crying. "Are you OK? How long have you been stuck in here? Let's get you out of here!"

Zack coughed, resting his head on Katrina's shoulder. "Thank you."


	10. Day 5, Part 2: Food Plastic, Fantastic

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 10: Day 5: Part 2: Food That's Plastic, It's Fantastic**

"And we're back!" Izzy exclaimed, striking her hand up, standing next to Bridgette on the Dock of Shame. "When we left off, everyone had to cook something yummy!" Izzy pat her stomach. "Yum yum!"

"And maybe even a little healthy," Bridgette said, with her hands in her pockets.

"Don't care," Izzy said. "If it tastes good, Izzy approves!"

"But both would be better, right?" Bridgette asked. Izzy simply shrugged.

* * *

"Did anyone notice where Katrina ran off?" Rachel asked. "Not that I'd blame her for leaving, but I am curious."

"Why don't you go and look for her," Alistair said, irritated. "Give us some peace."

"I want to watch Frederique blow this," Rachel said, grinning. "We are going to want to witness the reason we're voting him off, right?"

"I thought it was because he was mean to us," Xuxa said, confused. Rachel slapped her own face in frustration and shook her head.

"Pie," Frederique said, stroking his chin. "Izzy likes pie, right?"

"Everyone who isn't Jennie likes pie," Rachel said, smirking. "Do you know how to make a pie?"

"Flour, water, baking powder, fruit, I can handle it," Frederique said, confident. He then nervously looked around, and grabbed a bag of apples, and put it on his counter space. "Apple pie! Izzy likes that, right?"

"Ooh, thank you, need this!" Katrina exclaimed, zipping past, snagging the bag of apples, then hurrying out of the area.

Rachel blinked. "OK, I'm a little worried for her sanity."

"OK, so much for apple pie," Frederique said, scratching his head, then shrugged as he put a bag of blackberries on the counter. "Blackberry pie it is!"

"Yes, thank you, that'll be good too!" Katrina exclaimed, zipping through to take the bag of blackberries, then left as quickly as she appeared. Frederique was getting obviously angry.

"OK, I'm a little worried about her, but this is still funny," Rachel said, laughing slightly. "Any other fruits you want to try?" Rachel asked, feigning innocence. "I mean, aside from yourself?"

"Hardy har har," Frederique said, sarcastic. "I've still got blueberries here." Frederique lifted a bag of blueberries, and closely guarded them near his body. "And she's not getting these!"

"She's probably making some sort of recipe behind our backs," Alistair said, with his head buried in a book.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Only in her own mind," Alistair said. "Like you said, she's mental."

"I never said that!" Rachel yelled.

"Didn't you," Alistair said. "You tell yourself that."

"I will!" Rachel yelled.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Urgh! Alistair is so infuriating! What is his problem?

* * *

"Here comes the fruit train, rolling on in!" Katrina exclaimed, as she walked toward Zack, sitting in front of the punishment room, looking in a bit of a daze. "Chew chew, thirty-two times before you swallow!"

"I'd really rather not," Zack said, inhaling the blackberries, probably not chewing at all.

"I wouldn't want you to choke, though," Katrina said. "I don't know the Heimlich maneuver." Katrina tapped her chin. "Accidentally got City Hall attacked that way." Katrina shrugged. "I'll never remember that i before e rule."

"It's i before e, except after c, or when sounding like-"

"I was kidding," Katrina said, giggling. "I know the rule, and I know it only works about half the time. Not much of a rule, really."

"Oh," Zack said, a little confused, as he took an enormous bite into an apple, and swallowed. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to having girls talk to me." Zack tapped his chin. "Or boys, for that matter."

"I'm sorry," Katrina said, looking sympathetic. "Everyone just kind of ignored you here, I was in my own little world, too busy to notice… I can be a bit scatterbrained sometimes."

"I'm used to it, really," Zack said. "I'm used to not having people notice me."

"Now I feel bad," Katrina said, looking slightly pouty, putting her arm around Zack. "You don't seem so bad."

"Thanks," Zack said, smiling nervously.

Katrina smiled nervously back, and started twirling her two pointer fingers together. "Forgive me if I'm out of line here, but I was hoping I might ask a favor of you."

"Sure!" Zack exclaimed. "Anything!"

"The other girls and I need you to vote for Frederique when we lose the challenge tonight." Katrina wiped her forehead with her hand.

Zack cocked his head, confused. "I thought Rachel and Xu… um, what was her name? I have trouble remembering that one."

"Xuxa," Katrina answered.

"I thought they liked Fred," Zack said, still a bit confused.

"Turns out he's not very nice," Katrina said, almost sounding bored as she started playing with her fingers. "We figured that out, and now we want him gone."

"Well, he wasn't really nice to me," Zack said. "Didn't seem to mind Alistair sticking me in here."

"Well we'll show them," Katrina said, grinning. "They will be shown."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Zack: (nervously looking at the camera) Does Katrina like me? It's so hard for me to tell. Am I looking too much into things?

* * *

"Why are we making homemade bread?" Hank asked, annoyed. "We could just heat some of the rolls in the pantry."

"Homemade is better," Stephanie insisted, with her hands on her hips, then went over to a large pot on the stove, put a spoon into it, took a taste of the sauce inside, and she looked like she wanted to gag. She then placed the spoon into a garbage can.

"Isn't that kind of wasteful?" Jennie asked, annoyed. "You could have reused the spoon, you know."

"I am just being considerate," Stephanie said. "I know if someone else put their mouth on the spoon, I would not want their mouth germs to go back into the pot. That is disgusting."

"You could have rinsed the spoon off!" Jennie yelled, turning red, then stormed over and took the spoon out of the garbage can and started licking it. Jennie then turned green. "OK, I'll admit that was an ill thought out way of making my point."

"Really," Stephanie flatly stated. "I thought you enjoyed being green."

"Is my face really-eww!" Jennie squealed, running off toward the bathroom.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: (wiping her tongue with a towel) That was disgusting! I'm pretty sure rotting meat touched that spoon. I'm not sure whether I'm more disgusted that it was rotting or that it was… OK, OK, I'm being a little ridiculous here. The rotting was the worse part, but I did not care much for the meatiness, either.

* * *

"Now, does anyone have a proper set of directions on how to cook a prime rib?" Stephanie asked. "I would love some directions on cooking this to its most flavorful."

"I'd recommend not including the murder victim, period," Jennie said, disgusted.

"I thought you weren't going to complain," Stephanie said.

"The pasta's bad enough. Do we really need a steak?"

"Yes," Stephanie said. "Yes, we do."

Jennie sighed. "Couldn't I at least make-"

"No!" Stephanie yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "We need this meal to be perfect! And it's not going to be perfect if we throw in your inedible nature faux food!"

"It's real food!" Jennie yelled. "And it's delicious, I'll have you know!"

"Vegetables aren't very good," Veronica said. "They taste terrible."

"I don't eat vegetables," Jennie said. "If you're going to create straw arguments about what I eat not tasting very good, then maybe you should actually learn about what I eat."

"You eat vegetables," Veronica said, then sighed. "They suck."

"I don't eat vegetables!" Jennie shouted. "Which part of that don't you get?"

"I thought vegetarians ate vegetables," Hank said, confused. "Don't they?"

"She's a fruitarian," Stephanie said. "I don't understand it, and I don't want to understand it, but let us at least belittle her eating beliefs properly if we must belittle her eating beliefs."

Jennie blinked. "I'm not sure whether you were defending me, or-"

"Neither. I don't care what you call yourself as long as you aren't bothering me." Stephanie shuddered. "And as long as you stop trying to insert your horrible meals into the challenge."

"I really do wish you would reconsider," Jennie said.

"Not happening," Stephanie said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: (with her arms crossed over her chest) I can totally cook. Kind of have to: I would go mad if I couldn't find new ways to prepare my meals. And I really don't appreciate Stephanie assuming that I can't make anything decent. I'll just need to prove her wrong.

* * *

"Who is he?" Rachel asked, raising a pair of sunglasses for a better look at Zack, standing in front of her. "Are you sure he's a contestant?"

"Yes," Katrina said, grinning. "He's on our team, even."

"What is **he **doing here?" Alistair was lounging in his seat as he sneered as he saw Zack before him. "He's supposed to be out of the way."

"We know," Katrina said, smirking. "We know all about what you did."

"Well, tell someone who cares," Alistair said. "I really don't."

"Tsk, tsk," Katrina said, cutely waving a finger in Alistair's face. "You aren't going to last very long with that attitude."

"Too bad you need my brains," Alistair said. "I'm the only one with any on this team."

"I'm smarter than you," Rachel said, relaxing in her chair. "And Katrina's a genius. We'll do fine without you."

"But Frederique's evil!" Xuxa exclaimed, worried. "We need to vote him off!"

"We will," Rachel said. "We can wait to eliminate Alistair after Figglehorn."

"That's not my name," Frederique said, frustrated.

Rachel put her finger to her mouth. "I'm sorry." Rachel then glared at Frederique, putting her hands on her hips. "If I actually respected you, I might even care."

"You don't even like anyone here!" Frederique shouted, exasperated. "You just think of everyone here as your little slave!"

"Ideally, yes," Rachel said, admiring her nails.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: I have this sudden urge to sock Frederique and Rachel all of a sudden. Not really sure why, but they probably deserve it.

* * *

"But-but we're friends," Xuxa said, rubbing her arm nervously. "Right.""Truth? No," Rachel said, annoyed. "I merely tolerate you."

Xuxa tapped her chin, then glomped Rachel, who looked uncomfortable. "I knew it! We are friends!"

"No, no we're not!" Rachel yelled, tensing up.

Katrina grinned. "It's so nice to see you two getting along so well."

"Lovely," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

Jennie nervously walked over to Rachel, and extended her hand. "You're like the leader of this team, right?"

Rachel looked at Jennie's hand carefully, then shook it. "That would be me, Rachel B. Statler, at your service."

"The B stands for 'bitch,'" Alistair said, not even looking up. "And I don't remember anyone proclaiming you as our leader, either."

"I appointed myself, silly man," Rachel said. "Katrina seconded the nomination."

"Right," Katrina said, giving a quick nod.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: Or technically, I did no such thing, but it seemed like going along with Rachel's lie was the best move for every, really. Or at least for me and Rachel.

* * *

"Well, I wanted to make your team an offer," Jennie said. "Allow me to cook something delicious, and I will allow you to use it for your meal."

"Are you trying to sabotage us?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Jennie said, holding her hands together nervously. "My team isn't letting me cook, and I really wanted to cook for them and show them that I can really do this. I want to prove to my team that I can really do this!"

"OK, definitely no, then," Rachel said, glaring suspiciously at Jennie. "We don't really want to win."

Jennie blinked. "You don't want to win?"

"We want to get rid of Frederique tonight," Rachel said. "We don't really like him much."

"OK," Jennie said, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. "Can I make something for my team, then?"

Rachel grinned. "Since I am a very nice, caring, and giving person, I shall allow it."

"How about no?" Frederique said, angry. "I'm cooking here!"

"And we wish you would stop that," Rachel said. "Everyone wants you gone!"

"No, not everyone wants me gone!" Frederique yelled. "What did I even ever do to you?"

"You're kidding," Rachel stated. "Are you seriously that dense?"

"You're all sexist against men!" Frederique yelled. "All of you girls, banded together, to get rid of the men!"

"He really is this dense," Rachel said, slapping her own face. "I do not believe it."

"And people think sexism's dead," Alistair muttered, still not bothering to look up.

"Seriously, stop while you're ahead," Rachel said, then looked up to the sky. "Actually, it's too late for that."

"I'll just… don't mind me, I'll just quietly work here," Jennie said, trying to smile.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: Seriously, though, Alistair and Frederique need to shut up. In that fast a time I was feeling icky listening to them. (Jennie taps her cheek.) And Percy, too, but mostly because he kept staring at me. (Jennie shudders.)

* * *

"What are you doing?" Danielle asked, looking concerned as Ophelia had a corn cob under a microscope. "Are you even cooking?"

"Shhh!" Ophelia fiddled with the corn cob under the microscope using a pair of tweezers. "This… is… science!"

"Yes, we all know cooking involves science," Danielle said. "We learned that in school. But it doesn't really answer what you're doing."

"Science!" Ophelia exclaimed, as she heated the corn with a Bunsen burner. "In order to make the most delicious dish possible, I must convert **this **ordinary corn into delicious high fructose corn syrup!" Ophelia proudly held the corn high above her head.

"You know, we have sugar," Danielle said. "We could just use that."

Ophelia gasped. "Corn syrup tastes better! It's taste in its purest, most concentrated form!"

"Well, I was planning on taking some of your hair and making a red velvet cake out of it," Danielle said, smiling.

"Great idea!" Ophelia exclaimed, then put her hair into her mouth, chewing on it for a few seconds before making a face and spitting it out. "Eww, tastes like hair."

Danielle blinked. "That… you know that was a joke."

"I know, cat," Ophelia said, winking. "I was just playing along."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Ophelia's annoying, but she's got good taste in television, at least.

Ophelia: My cat tricked me into eating my hair, too. (Ophelia crosses her arms over her chest and pouts.) Said it tasted like chicken Parmesan.

* * *

Danielle was watching George, amazed at his mixing dough ingredients together. "That is amazing!"

George smiled. "It's just bread. Anyone can do this."

"But you can't even see what you're adding-how do you know you're adding the right ingredients?"

"I smell them. I feel them. I weigh-"

"Wait," Danielle said, looking a bit disgusted. "You touch the ingredients?"

"Not here, no, but at home, I do," George said. "Helps me tell the difference between the cake flour and the bread flour. Isis gave me the bread flour for this, though."

"That's disgusting, I hope you're aware."

"I wash my hands first," George said.

"Well," Danielle said, unsure, "um, disgusting!"

"That's been assessed already, I do believe," George said.

"It bore repeating," Danielle stated. "Still, good job."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: George is a pretty nice guy, don't get me wrong. Just too bad he's defective. I do deserve someone as perfect as I, after all. (Danielle smiles brightly.)

Ophelia: (standing on her head) I don't even know why I'm in here! I just wanted to stand on my head! (Ophelia takes her hands off the floor.) Look ma, no-whoa! (Ophelia falls onto her back.) Ouch. That kind of hurt.

* * *

"Perfect!" Stephanie exclaimed, showing off the prime rib, with a sprig of parsley on the plate with it. "The perfect prime rib!"

"It looks carcinogenic," Todd said, smirking. "I love it!"

"No," Stephanie said, indignant. "I followed the directions exactly. This steak is perfect!"

"It does look a little well," Nicole said, looking confusedly at the steak.

"A lot of people enjoy a steak that's well done," Stephanie boasted.

"Didn't the recipe say medium rare?" Nicole asked.

"The recipe was wrong," Stephanie said. "But Izzy may enjoy a well done steak."

"You might want to make sure it's edible first," Hank said, poking at the steak, though Stephanie quickly pulled it away.

"No touching!" Stephanie shouted. "You probably didn't even wash your hands. And I will show you all how delicious this steak is!" Stephanie started to cut the steak, more and more rigorously, until after a couple of minutes, she cut off a bite-sized piece.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Nicole asked, concerned. "I'm not sure it's safe."

"Of course it's safe," Stephanie said. Immediately after, the steak on the plate caught on fire. "I must have left the stove on."

Nicole looked confused. "But the steak isn't on the-"

"I **obviously **left the stove on," Stephanie declared, then put the bite on her fork into her mouth. Stephanie immediately looked like she wanted to vomit.

"So how does it taste?" Nicole asked, smirking.

"Delicious," Stephanie said, then very forcefully swallowed. "I wish I could-excuse me for a moment." Stephanie immediately ran off to the bathroom, and the others could hear the vomiting noises from outside.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (shaking her head, covered by her hand) I'm so ashamed of that display. I cannot allow myself to show such weaknesses.

Nicole: Something I learned a long time ago: you can't trust recipes. I once had a recipe for cake that called for sixteen pounds of butter. Not going to work well, it turns out.

* * *

Frederique was cautiously peeking his head in the main kitchen, then casually walked in. He looked around the kitchen and gathered chicken breasts, tortillas, and more ingredients.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Frederique: I was desperate! If my team wasn't going to let me cook in our little outdoor kitchen area, I had to hit the main kitchen! And cross my fingers that Chef wouldn't walk in.

Katrina: It's too bad Chef didn't see Frederique in his kitchen without his permission. That would've taught him a lesson. But then, he didn't know I was watching. (Katrina grins.) Advantage: Katrina.

* * *

"Ooh, what does this button do?" Ophelia asked, pressing a button on the range.

Danielle sighed as she was mixing meat, eggs, and various spices together, wearing gloves. "It increases the oven temperature by five degrees, please don't do that."

"And this one?" Ophelia asked, pressing another button.

"It turns the oven light on, now could you please stop touching things?"

Ophelia crossed her arms and pouted. "You're so mean."

"I'm trying to cook my famous meat loaf," Danielle said, smiling confidently. "Everyone loves my special recipe!"

"Ooh, I want to try it!" Ophelia stuck her hand in the beef mixture and took out a globful and put it in her mouth. She started chewing, then made a funny face and spit it out. "Eww, tastes awful! Taste like raw beef and eggs."

"It **was **raw beef and eggs, you idiot!" Danielle shouted, shaking in anger. "And now you've ruined the whole thing! I need to start all over again, thank you!"

Ophelia cocked her head, confused. "I ruined the whole thing?"

"Yes," Danielle said. "You've got your Ophelia germs all in the meatloaf, and now it's ruined! Thanks!"

Ophelia sniffled and shed a tear, then glomped Danielle. "I'm sorry."

"I really don't feel like playing around," Danielle said. "Go bug someone else. I need to start over."

Ophelia let go and looked down, rubbing her shoe on the ground. "No, I mean it. I got carried away, and I forgot you're a little grumpy sometimes, and I'm sorry. I like you, and I didn't want to annoy you." Ophelia smirked. "Too much."

Danielle smiled slightly. "Thank you. I'd hug you, but I have these disgusting gloves-"

"Don't care!" Ophelia exclaimed, and put Danielle's arms around her. Danielle looked confused, but smiled.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: All of my friends at home, take note: some people actually appreciate how special I am! You all should be embarrassed.

* * *

Frederique took the chicken enchiladas out of the oven in Chef's kitchen, and cut off a piece to taste. "Perfect," he said, then started to set them out on a serving dish, in a beautiful array. Frederique smiled, then walked out the kitchen.

Half a minute later, Katrina casually walked into the kitchen, carrying a paper bag. She casually tossed the chicken enchiladas into the bag, then walked out the same way.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I never claimed to be Little Miss Perfect. But when someone hurts someone I care about, they go down! (Katrina shakes a fist toward the camera.)

Frederique: What those girls don't know won't hurt me. Just cook someplace else! What can go wrong?

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette were in the dining room, sitting in a booth, with the contestants watching. "We are ready to dine!" Izzy exclaimed, then bit off the end of her fork. "I'm starving!"

"Is that good for you?" Bridgette asked, worried.

Izzy shrugged. "Might have iron, I don't know, really. Can't be that bad, though. Though it might hurt when it comes out the other end."

"We really didn't need to know that," Bridgette said, disgusted.

"What?" Izzy asked, confused. "I mean, it's common knowledge, that unless my stomach acids can digest the fork-"

"We know, we know!" Bridgette shouted, nervous. "We just don't need you to tell us!"

"Oh, OK!" Izzy exclaimed, looking eager. "Team Himalayas, we await your dish!"

"George's bread, you must try!" Danielle sang, skipping from the kitchen, toward Izzy and Bridgette. "George's bread, worth to die!"

"We could've done without the death part," Bridgette said, taking a slice of bread.

"I dunno', I like the death part!" Izzy exclaimed, grinning mischievously as she took a slice of bread and stuck it in her mouth. Then took several more slices and stuck them in her mouth. "Twelve! New world record for bread mouth stuffing, made by Izzy, and the crowd goes wild!"

"The crowd is disgusted!" Danielle yelled, looking away.

"This is pretty good, though," Bridgette said.

"George made that," Danielle said, beaming as she swayed back and forth innocently. "Everyone on my team said he couldn't cook, since he's blind and all, but I stuck up for him!" Danielle rushed behind George and grabbed his shoulders, startling him for a moment. "I said that he could triumph adversity, that against all odds, he could make the bread to beat all bread!" Danielle made a fist toward the sky. "He would redefine what we call 'bread'! He would-"

"It's good, not great," Bridgette said, motioning with her hand for Danielle to stop. "I've had better."

"That didn't actually happen," Isis said, irritated. "Like not at all. You kept complaining about how disgusting it was!"

Danielle pouted. "It **is!**"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: OK, so I very, very slightly stretched the truth a bit. But it was for the best, right? I mean, what would all the people who look up to me as their hero, watching at home, think if they found out I did something very slightly unkind? It would have been selfish of me not to do that!

Ophelia: (pinching her wrist, holding back tears) I can't believe I said all of those mean things to George! I'm so ashamed… I can't even remember saying those horrid, horrid things… am I getting Old Timer's disease? Or maybe Young Timer's. I mean, if I'm so young that I can't even post my nude drawings of myself on DeviantArt, then I can't be that old, can I? (Ophelia taps her chin.)

Isis: I really need to kill Danielle. Deluded little witch, painting herself as a hero for the blind… urgh!

* * *

Danielle watched, nervous, as Izzy swished a bite of meatloaf around her mouth. "It is delicious, yes?"

"It's edible," Izzy said, then swallowed. "It's dry, and not very flavorful, but edible."

"You're kidding," Danielle said, taken aback. "I fix that for all of my friends, and they all love it!"

"Your friends are liars," Izzy said. "Sorry."

"Ooh, but you must have dessert!" Ophelia exclaimed, producing a couple of bright blue plastic cubes from behind her back. "You must take these!"

Bridgette looked concerned as Ophelia dropped one of the cubes in front of her. "Is there any hidden meat in this?"

"Oh, no!" Ophelia exclaimed. "No animal or animal by-products! Promise! Just pure flavor!"

"Don't be such a ninny," Izzy said, as she bit into one of the cubes, then immediately shoved the whole thing into her mouth. "Delicious!"

Bridgette scratched her head, then took a bite. She looked as if she were considering the taste for several seconds, then swallowed and smiled. "Pretty good. What's in it?"

Ophelia smiled wide. "Mostly corn. Corn syrup, specifically, but also a lot of trans fat to solidify it and make it even tastier! Ooh, and natural flavor!"

Bridgette looked like she wanted to gag, while Izzy put her arm around Bridgette. "It has natural flavor. That's healthy, right?"

Bridgette shook her head. "That's code for 'we don't want you to know what's in this, but it sounds healthy to most people, even though it isn't.'"

Ophelia gave a quick nod. "Can't really argue with her." Ophelia snapped her fingers. "She's too smart."

"People forget how smart she is, just because she looks like a typical dumb blonde, but she's like a genius!" Izzy exclaimed, glomping Bridgette, who looked uncomfortable. "Well, I mean, she's not as smart as me, of course, and Courtney and Noah are ahead of her, and probably Heather too, and-"

"Can we go on with the challenge?" Bridgette asked, slightly annoyed.

"Oops, sorry!" Izzy exclaimed, a bit sheepish, letting Bridgette go. "Team Moon is up!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (nervously biting on a pen) We are so screwed. I just hope my teammates are intelligent enough to realize what an asset I am for this team when we lose. (Stephanie sighs.)

* * *

Stephanie was sweating profusely as Izzy and Bridgette each took a roll. A small roll that hadn't risen. Izzy and Bridgette both took a bite, and neither looked pleased.

"You like it, please say yes?" Stephanie asked, desperate.

"It was a little heavy," Bridgette said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Why don't we try the pasta?"

"Pasta time!" Izzy exclaimed, as she eagerly took a bite of the pasta in red sauce, and Bridgette also took a bite. Bridgette was making faces as she swished it around her mouth, while Izzy quickly swallowed, but didn't look pleased.

"You don't look pleased," Stephanie said.

"Uh, duh, the narrator just said that," Danielle said, rolling her eyes.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Stephanie said, more worried than confused.

"It's a little… is this covered in ketchup?" Bridgette asked, as she ducked her head under the table, then shortly picked it back up, and was no longer chewing anything.

"No, it was a recipe I found for tomato sauce," Stephanie said.

"I think it's fun for a change of pace," Izzy said. "Not good, but fun. But now, Bridgette and I have a steak to attend to!"

"I don't eat meat," Bridgette said. "You know that."

Izzy waved dismissively to Bridgette. "This is charcoal. Not meat."

"It was a choice cut, I'll have you know!" Stephanie insisted.

"Was a choice cut," Izzy said, as she bit her teeth into the steak to tear off a piece. Or try to, anyway. She shook the steak in her mouth until it came loose from her mouth and hit Danielle in the face, who started screaming, and then ran out of the room, as almost everyone else started laughing.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: On one hand, she's a brat and totally had that coming to her, but on the other hand, she didn't really deserve it right now. (Isis shrugs.) But then, I don't care, the way she treats me and everyone, bitch deserved it!

Danielle: (Danielle is crying a lot, quietly, using a lot of tissues, and with her makeup running.

* * *

"Well, this dinner's a failure," Izzy said. "Team Himalayas is winning so far, but we still have Team Amazon."

"**Where is it?**" Frederique screamed, from the kitchen. "It's missing!"

"Um, you didn't make anything, doy!" Rachel shouted.

"Yes I did!" Frederique yelled. "I made delicious chicken enchiladas, but they're gone!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (putting her hands on her cheeks) Whoops! Did I **accidentally **sneak the food that Freddy worked so hard on and toss them into the lake? (Katrina grins wickedly.)

* * *

"What did you do to my dinner?" Frederique yelled at his teammates.

"Some of us would have preferred we win," Alistair said, annoyed. "Don't get into this stupid 'we' crap."

"Oh, that," Rachel said, looking at her nails, not caring much for anything going on around her. "I set fire to it. Always wanted to burn something, and what better than the stuff you made for them to eat?" Frederique's eye was twitching, while Rachel walked up and put her finger to his chin, and stared him straight in the eye. "Don't mess with me."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: I didn't do it, but I needed to send everyone else a message: "don't mess with me." And I figure it had to be either Xuxa or Katrina who did it. If Xuxa got rid of the vomit Freddy cooked, then I deserve the credit more than her! And if Katrina did it, she's probably thankful that I'm taking the rap in her place. (Rachel looks directly into the camera.) You're welcome.

Katrina: I don't know why Rachel did that, but I'm kind of glad she did. I feel a little bad, getting off the hook like that, though.

* * *

"Well, it's obvious who the loser is," Izzy said. "Team Amazon, you have absolutely nothing to show for this challenge. You have disgraced the competition by not participating, and should be ashamed."

"It's not my fault!" Frederique yelled.

"I'm not finished," Izzy said. "Your nothing was still a lot better than Team Moon's something."

"But they didn't even make anything!" Stephanie yelled, indignant.

"You'd have been better off trying that strategy yourself," Izzy said, sticking her tongue out at Stephanie. "So I hereby declare-"

"**Wait!**"

Everyone turned around as Jennie rushed in, carrying a large tray of food, and placing it before Izzy and Bridgette. Stephanie slapped her own face in frustration. "You're on Team Moon, right?" Izzy asked.

"Yes, and I have desserts galore for you! Strawberry sorbet, a delicious cherry compote, caramel glazed oranges-"

"You're not allowed to eat that stuff!" Stephanie shouted. "That's not pure, raw fruit!"

Jennie rolled her eyes. "Why are you complaining? We're on the same team!"

"Good!" Izzy exclaimed, digging into the oranges. "Delicious! Five stars! Bravo!"

Bridgette sighed as she tasted the sorbet. "It's good, I guess."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: OK, it was really good, but it's just hard to get enthusiastic over Jennie. I don't understand why she hates me. I mean, I understand her logic… I just don't understand her logic… or how I'm trying to word this without confusing myself.

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette were whispering to each other, then Izzy stood up. "Team Moon wins!"

"We liked the dessert," Bridgette said, shrugging.

"Team Moon gets the nice sleeping accommodations tonight!" Izzy exclaimed. Team Amazon, you're in last place. Choose who you want gone tonight."

"But that's not fair!" Danielle yelled, her body twitching. "Our team won! Jennie was too late! You can't just change your minds like that!"

"Um, we're the ones who lost because of Jennie, you know," Frederique said, glaring at Danielle.

"We can change our minds, and we did," Izzy said. "'Sides, challenge wasn't officially over yet, so it was perfectly legal."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (shaking her head, looking down) I'm a disgrace. I can never show my face in my home town again, it's that simple.

Jennie: Oh, get over yourself, Stephanie!

Rachel: (admiring her hand) Of course, all credit for allowing Jennie to use our kitchen should go to me. (Rachel stares straight into the camera.) You're welcome.

* * *

"I can't believe Rachel's not offering me anything," Percy whined, outside their cabin, near Alistair and Frederique.

"So glad you'd be willing to sell me out," Frederique said, rolling his eyes.

"Couldn't get Rachel to agree," Percy said, shrugging.

"All we need to do is get what's-his-face to see reason," Alistair said. "What was his name?"

"He wasn't a chick, don't know, don't care," Percy said, shrugging.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: Frederique is stupid, granted. It's just that the girls on our team are so much more annoying. His stupidity and neediness is relatively easy to tolerate.

* * *

"Hey, buddy!" Frederique exclaimed, walking toward Zack, who was playing paddleball, sitting on the grass, as Frederique sat down and pat Zack on the back. "How's it going?" Zack looked confused. "So, tonight, you're voting Katrina, right? We need to get her off."

"Why?" Zack asked, confused.

"She's evil, that's why," Frederique said. "She's convinced Rachel and Xuxa that I'm the enemy, but I'm not! I just want to be left alone! I already have a girlfriend back home, and I couldn't ask for anyone better!"

"That's ridiculous," Zack said, then started getting up. Frederique slapped his own face in frustration.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: You know, I actually thought Frederique was kind of cute. It's a shame he turned out to be evil beyond all belief, really. But no one treats my friends badly and gets away with it!

Xuxa: (foaming at the mouth) Freddy's going **down!**

Rachel: It's a shame, voting off the hottest guy here, but every now and then, appearances really are skin deep. Danielle and Frederique, both hot and evil, and Xuxa's… um… well, let's not worry about her. She's pretty vicious, really, and **very not hot!**

Percy: Katrina's leaving, I hope. She's just not that hot, but she's also not as ugly as Xuxa, so it wouldn't even be kinky. Just dull.

Nicole: Is Xuxa really that hideous? I mean, she's more than a little nuts, but I think she looks nice, really. She's a little overweight. I don't get the big deal.

* * *

That night, the seven members of Team Amazon were sitting in the comfortable chairs surrounding the campfire. Izzy was standing behind the podium, not looking happy, while Bridgette was standing next to her, holding a tray with six alphabet blocks on it.

"Can we just get this over with?" Rachel whined. "Just hurl Freddie into the stratosphere already. This is boring."

"It's building suspense," Izzy said, a bit irritated. "Building suspense isn't boring. It makes things more interesting. Or aggravating. Depends on your point of view, really." Izzy shrugged. "Either way, not boring."

"What suspense?" Rachel asked, yawning. "We all know Freddie's losing, so why even bother pretending otherwise?"

"You don't know that," Bridgette said. "You can't always trust everyone."

Izzy excitedly nodded. "Yeah, like back in the first season, Duncan totally should've lost in the hide and seek episode, but someone-**gasp**-betrayed Bridgette!"

"Geoff didn't vote me off," Bridgette said, a bit frustrated. "He wouldn't do that to me."

"I don't know who it was," Izzy said, then shrugged. "Probably Heather. She was mean back then, but anyway, onto the votes!" Izzy took a blue D block from off of Bridgette's plate. "As you can see, in my hand, is an alphabet block."

"Why is that a D, anyway?" Rachel asked. "No one on this team has a D name."

"Bridgette asked me that too, actually," Izzy said, grinning wide. "You'd be able to tell who was getting eliminated if we just had a letter specifically made for the people not going home. This way, you can't guess! Our letter selection today is D, G, L, S, T, and Z."

Katrina raised her hand. "We have a Z-named member here."

"I don't remember calling your name," Izzy said, narrowing her eyes toward Katrina.

"We weren't in school," Katrina said, blushing a bit.

"I know, so don't raise your hand." Izzy stuck her tongue out at Katrina. "You're silly, so I like you. But it isn't up to me whether or not you get to stay tonight." Izzy dramatically motioned to the Team Amazon members. "It's up to them."

"I'll be safe." Katrina tried to look confident, though she was nervously rubbing her pointer fingers together.

"Good luck, Kat," Bridgette said. Katrina noticeably cringed for a second before regaining her composure. Bridgette looked a bit confused, then shrugged it off and smiled. "I mean, I'm not allowed to interfere, really, but I really do hope you can make it far."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (smiling nervously, holding her hands together) Truth? I have a bit of a temper, and I really want to keep that in check. I'd hate to go off at Bridgette, really. She's so sweet. (Katrina gives an enormous, closed-eyes smile for the camera, holding her hands tighter.)

* * *

Izzy held the blue D block up high. "If you receive one of these blocks, it means you are safe for tonight. If you do not get one, then you are a loser, and will be forcefully ejected from the game." Izzy started rubbing her hands together, rolling the block in her hands. "If I call your name, please come up and get your block."

"Rachel."

"Xuxa."

"Percy."

"Alistair."

Katrina, Frederique, and Zack were sitting in their chairs, while Izzy lightly tossed a yellow Z block in her hand. "This is the final block."

"It's not," Bridgette said. "There's another block after that one."

"Really?" Izzy asked, confused. "I could've sworn-"

"You forgot Zack," Bridgette said, shaking her head. "And he's safe."

"OK, Zack, come on up here," Izzy said. "Which ever one of you is Zack, anyway." Zack sighed, then walked up to collect his alphabet block, leaving Frederique and Katrina in their seats, both looking worried, though Katrina was trying hard to look confident. Izzy started tossing a blue T block lightly in her hand. "This is the final block. And this time, it really is! One of you is safe! The other is a loser! The person who will be staying with us tonight is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Katrina." Katrina put on a bright smile as she skipped over to Izzy and held out her hand, not paying any attention to the screaming Frederique who was flying high in the sky.

"I'm really happy you're safe," Bridgette said, smiling bright. "I want to see you kick butt here!"

Katrina saluted Bridgette. "I shall not disappoint."

"You disappoint us all," Alistair said, angry. "At least Frederique wasn't utterly useless."

"Just evil beyond comprehension," Xuxa said, smiling bright. "I don't really like evil people. They're so evil."

"And you're so redundant," Alistair stated, tapping his hand with his finger. "It's truly a shame you haven't a brain in that empty skull of yours."

"Can't really argue with him there," Rachel said, bored.

"I thought we were friends now," Xuxa said, sticking her tongue out at Rachel.

"Friends tease each other," Rachel said, filing her nails. "Best friends tease each other over every little thing."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: We're not friends, anyway. She's a fat, ugly, obnoxious girl who needs to wear something that actually fits her. (Rachel looks around the room nervously.) But for a fat, ugly, obnoxious girl, she's not that bad. If I were forced at gunpoint to befriend someone so horrible, I suppose I could do worse than Xuxa. (Rachel nervously drums her fingers on the arm of the chair.) OK, I like her, happy? She's a sweet girl, and she needs my help to improve her social standing. Maybe I can use my charms to find her a worthy boyfriend. I'm sure she would appreciate that.

* * *

"And thus concludes another thrilling adventure thusly!" Izzy exclaimed, standing on her hands on the Dock of Shame, while Bridgette sat on the edge of the dock with her feet dangling over the edge, hitting the water. "Frederique is gone, and he was pretty mean, anyway."

"Was anyone nice to him?" Bridgette asked.

"Rachel and Xuxa, duh," Izzy said, crossing her eyes. "But he's gone, so we don't have to worry about his icky boy germs getting on us anymore!"

"There's still boys left in the game, you know," Bridgette said.

"But not Frederique boy germs," Izzy said, then shuddered, still standing on her hands. "Those are the worst! I give them an F!"

"Ha ha," Bridgette said, sarcastic.

"But whatever, Frederique is gone!" Izzy exclaimed, flipping onto her feet, shooting her arms straight out from her sides. "And that leaves twenty-one contestants remaining on the island! Who will go next? Who will not go next? And who will stay while doing something they regret and feel bad about for a while?"

"And who's going to edit that out if it doesn't wind up happening?" Bridgette asked, turning her head toward Izzy, smirking.

"We'll keep that in," Izzy said, grinning. "That way, you'll stay tuned to see if that, or anything else interesting happens, next time on _Total Drama Alphabet!" _Izzy yawned, then scratched her butt. "Whelp, I'm pooped. Time for me to howl at the moon."

"I'm comfortable here," Bridgette said, looking up. "The moonlight hitting the water just right, the sounds of nature-"

"Yeah, nature's pretty quiet tonight," Izzy said, stroking her chin. "Think all the animals died?"

"They're usually quiet," Bridgette said, giggling a bit. "That's nature."

Izzy shrugged. "Seems pretty boring to me. Oh well, see ya'!" Izzy then started cartwheeling away, while Bridgette continued sitting on the dock, enjoying the view, occasionally swishing her feet through the lake, relaxed for several minutes.

"Hi Bridgette!" Katrina said, waving as she walked over toward Bridgette, smiling nervously, and started rubbing her arm as she got closer. "I was hoping I might find you."

Bridgette stood up on the dock. "Looks like you found me," Bridgette said, then laughed a bit.

"I was just hoping… well, I wanted to ask a little favor of you," Katrina said, pinching her fingers together.

"I can't promise without knowing what it is," Bridgette said. "I mean, there're some things I'm not really allowed to do for you guys as co-host and all."

"It's nothing like that," Katrina said, laughing a little, though still uncomfortable. "Earlier tonight you called me Kat."

"You don't like that," Bridgette said, guilty.

"I don't really," Katrina said. "I really much prefer being addressed by my name proper."

Bridgette smiled, relieved. "I'm sorry. I won't call you that anymore."

"Thank you," Katrina said, smiling bright. "I'd give you a hug if I didn't have to get into the water to do so."

"I can always do a rain check, " Bridgette said, giggling a bit.

"That sounds wonderful, really," Katrina said, smiling bright. "I'll hold you to that!"

**

* * *

**

**Votes**

Alistair: Katrina  
Frederique: Katrina  
Katrina: Frederique  
Percy: Katrina  
Rachel: Frederique  
Xuxa: Frederique  
Zack: Frederique

Frederique: 4  
Katrina: 3

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Percy, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Bob, Danielle, George, Isis, Ophelia, Ulysses, Yancy  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique

* * *

Hope you all like this chapter. I'm largely not happy with it… dunno' why I'm having such trouble. It sucks.


	11. Day 6, Part 1: Factor Phobia

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 11: Day 6: Part 1: Factor Phobia**

Izzy was swaying on a tire swing, hanging above the Dock of Shame. Bridgette was standing nearby on the Dock, with a raised eyebrow. "You should totally try this!" Izzy exclaimed, in between bouts of laughing wildly and making other sound effects.

Bridgette looked up, holding her hand above her eyes to block the sun, then turned to Izzy. "I think I'll pass."

Izzy vaulted onto the dock. "Then take over camera duties! I want to let my Zeke have a turn!"

"I doon't think that's safe, eh," Ezekiel said, looking up, though Izzy tossed the camera to Bridgette, though the camera slipped through her hands. After Bridgette had picked the camera up and started shooting, Ezekiel was already on the tire swing, screaming

"Is that really right to be doing that?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Sure, it is," Izzy said, grinning, then put on a big smile. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _the contestants had to cook stuff for me! And Bridgette, too." Izzy tapped her chin. "Actually, this isn't as fun without Bridgette around! Be right back!" Izzy darted off.

"Should I stop tape?" Bridgette shouted, but didn't receive an answer. She ultimately settled on taping Ezekiel on the tire swing. "So… having fun?" Ezekiel continued screaming. Bridgette shook her head, then walked over to grab the tire swing to slowly slow it, eventually stopping it, at which point Ezekiel plopped onto the dock.

"Thanks, eh," Ezekiel said, sounding out of it.

"You could tell Izzy you don't want to do everything, you know," Bridgette said, helping Ezekiel stand up.

"But Izzy likes it," Ezekiel said.

"And we're back with Bridgette!" Izzy exclaimed, dragging Lindsay behind, dressed in Bridgette's outfit.

"Why am I Bridgette again?" Lindsay asked, confused, pointing to Bridgette. "Isn't Bridgette right there?" Lindsay squinted. "Or is that Brooke?"

Izzy chuckled for a moment. "Right now she's Ezekiel, so Ezekiel can play on the tire swing."

Lindsay looked like her brain broke. "I can't really argue with that. I can be a little dumb sometimes."

Bridgette blinked. "Actually, I don't really-"

"Ooh, start shooting again!" Izzy exclaimed, tossing the camera back at Bridgette, which knocked her to the ground. "Zekey, I'll help you back on the tire swing!"

"It's OK, I don't really-**augh!**" Ezekiel screamed as Izzy threw him violently back onto the swing.

"OK, we're ready," Izzy said, grinning wide. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _the contestants had to cook stuff for me! And Bridgette, too."

"I don't remember the contestants cooking stuff for me." Lindsay looked distraught as she put her hand to her forehead. "I think I'm extra forgetfulness today."

"It's OK, Bridgette, I forgive you," Izzy said, patting Lindsay's back.

Lindsay looked to Bridgette, nervous. "Am I this bad with names?" Lindsay's eyes darted back and forth as she turned to Ezekiel swinging back and forth on the tire swing. "And why are you torturing Edward?

"Because he's an insult to real vampires," Izzy said. "Anyway, the three teams cooked for me and Bridgette, and we had some delicious food, as well as some bad stuff, why don't you tell them about it?" Izzy turned to Lindsay, grinning.

"Me?" Lindsay asked, confused, as she put her finger to her lip. "Well, I had some bananas, which could've been sweeter, and some pizza, which was cold and burnt. I didn't really like it that much, but on the other hand-"

":Silly Bridgette," Izzy interrupted, slapping Lindsay on the back. "I meant the food we had for the challenge."

"But I'm not Bridgette," Lindsay said, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "At least, I don't think that's my name." Lindsay pointed toward Bridgette, looking unsure. "I think she's Bridgette."

"No, she's Ezekiel," Izzy said, shaking her head.

"But I thought that was Ezi… Eza… the E guy," Lindsay said, pointing to a screaming Ezekiel, hanging on for dear life to the swinging tire swing.

"Don't worry, I can tell the audience about the food," Izzy said, bouncing up and down. "Team Himalayas cooked some food that was OK, and Stephanie from Team Moon cannot cook worth an anything, but fortunately, Jennie saved her team, against Stephanie's wishes, and they finished in first place! Team Amazon, on the other hand, had nothing, thanks to Katrina's treachery, and therefore, lost."

"Katrina's treachery?" Bridgette asked, genuinely surprised. "Can someone explain this?"

"Rebecca was covering for her," Lindsay said, with a serious expression on her face. "Something isn't adding up about it."

Bridgette blinked. "What?"

Izzy sighed. "Rachel said she tossed out Frederique's chicken enchiladas, but it was actually Katrina who did it."

"Oh," Bridgette said, embarrassed. "Well, she was probably helping out her friends. They didn't like Frederique, so she didn't like him." Bridgette started rubbing on her sleeve. "I'm worried that Rachel's taking advantage of her."

Izzy shrugged. "Maybe, but that's not really my place to interfere, since I'm the host now, and all. Either way, Katrina did interfere, making her team lose, and the girls, plus Zack, united to vote out Frederique, making him the fourth person to leave the island."

"You can't trust the good-looking ones," Bridgette said, chuckling to herself.

"But who can you trust?" Izzy asked, smirking. "Can you trust our interns? Well, duh, of course! Because trust is key, coming up right now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

"How is Edward staying in the air, anyway?" Lindsay asked, looking puzzled at Ezekiel, clutching to the tire as if his very life depended on it.

"He's holding on to the tire," Izzy stated.

"But how is the tire staying in the air?" Lindsay asked.

"The rope's holding it up."

"Shouldn't the rope be tied to something?" Lindsay asked innocently, and immediately, Ezekiel, the tire, and the rope plunged straight into the lake.

Izzy snapped her fingers. "Knew I was forgetting something!"

* * *

"I'm so glad Frederique's gone," Xuxa said, trying to get comfortable in her sleeping bag on the floor, tossing and turning a good bit. "Worthless scum sucker."

"You said it," Rachel said, propping her head with her hands beneath it while lying in her sleeping bag. "Seriously, it's like he's gay, or something." Rachel turned to Xuxa, smirking. "He wouldn't even take you."

"I'll have you know that every boy at my school wants a piece of this!" Xuxa exclaimed, getting out of her sleeping bag to shake her booty.

Rachel giggled. "You do that pretty well."

Xuxa slapped her butt. "It's what brings all the boys to the yard."

"I thought that was milkshakes," Rachel said, grinning innocently.

"Good thing I've got those, too," Xuxa said, winking.

"Eww, you're totally hitting on me now!" Rachel said, laughing.

"You know you want this," Xuxa said, putting her chest right in front of Rachel, shaking it.

"Yes I do," Rachel said. "I mean, for myself." Rachel pointed to her own chest. "I don't really have anything to shake."

Xuxa waved dismissively to Rachel. "Don't sell yourself short. You're pretty! Just not as much as me, 'cause really, who can compete with all of this?"

"Minus the breasts I don't have, I can," Rachel said.

"You totally could!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Rachel, who looked panicked.

"I'm not getting any sleep tonight, am I?" Katrina asked, tired.

"Aww, come on," Rachel said. "It's not like we can really sleep on these hard floors anyway."

Xuxa laughed. "Yeah, and-"

Xuxa was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Hello!" the person sang.

"Who is it?" Xuxa asked.

"Charlotte," Charlotte said. "I wanted to see how you girls were doing. Sounded like you were having a party in there."

Katrina spoke up. "I was trying to sleep, ac-"

"We were!" Xuxa exclaimed. "Celebrating Frederique's elimination! We couldn't be happier!"

"Could I join you?" Charlotte asked.

Rachel looked nervous. "We rather-"

"Sure, the more, the merrier!" Xuxa exclaimed, bounding over to the door, opening it to let Charlotte in. "Welcome!" Xuxa sang.

"Thank you!" Charlotte sang back as she entered the cabin, carrying a cake, ice cream, and Coca-Cola. "I just wanted to have some fun with you guys! Cake, anyone?"

"What kind is it?" Xuxa asked, sticking her finger through the white icing, then licking it. "The icing's pretty good."

"And pretty disgusting," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"It's chocolate!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Sleep can wait," Katrina said, instantly standing up. "I'll take a slice on the opposite side of where Xuxa licked it."

"I didn't lick the cake," Xuxa said, looking indignant.

"Not important, I want the cake!" Katrina exclaimed.

"Right away," Charlotte said, cutting a slice of cake for Katrina, which she ate pretty quickly.

"A little messy with the cake?" Rachel asked, smirking. "I'd have thought someone so rich would have better table manners."

"I have people who clean my messes," Katrina said. "This is some cake!"

Rachel took a bite of her slice of cake. "It's just chocolate cake. I've had better."

"You know, the scariest thing happened to me on the way over here," Charlotte said. "I was walking over with the goodies, and this Bumble Ball came flying out of nowhere! It was terrifying!"

"A Bumble Ball?" Rachel said, then chuckled to herself. "Like the baby toy? You're kidding."

Charlotte shuddered. "It's freaky how they just bumble around like that."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yes. Real freaky."

Charlotte huffed. "Like you aren't afraid of anything."

Rachel chuckled to herself. "I'm not falling for that one."

"Falling for what?" Charlotte said, looking down. "I was just trying to have some girl talk." Charlotte turned to Xuxa. "What are you afraid of?"

"It's a trap," Rachel muttered.

"I've always been afraid of people in animal suits," Xuxa said, looking down. "Back when I was little, there was this guy in a panda suit, and another guy in a jaguar suit, and they were so scary."

"Fell right into her trap," Rachel said, motioning her hand above her head.

"I'm afraid of cats," Katrina said. "Terrifying creatures, the way they always seem to jump out at people in scary movies, right before the killer shows up."

"That's kind of funny," Xuxa said. "Your name being **Kat**rina, and you're afraid of cats-"

"Quite aware of that," Katrina said.

Rachel shook her head. "I thought you were smarter than that. You disappoint me."

"I'm not afraid of opening up," Katrina said.

"Neither am I," Rachel said. "I'm afraid of this information being used against us in the next challenge. Am I the only one who remembers the Phobia Factor challenge?"

"Yes," Xuxa said. "But Izzy's nice. She wouldn't do that."

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "That's what she wants us to think."

"I was just trying to have an innocent conversation," Charlotte said. "If you're worried about talking about it, I don't really blame you. Really, I'm pretty sure Izzy threw the Bumble Ball and laughed at my suffering." Charlotte shuddered.

"Thank you for respecting my right to privacy," Rachel said, with a sincere smile on her face. "You may mean well, but I'm sure Izzy's going to use this information against us."

"I didn't mean to do that," Charlotte said, as she poured a cup of Coca-Cola. "Would you like a drink?"

"Thank you," Rachel said, gulping the drink down fast. "That was refreshing."

"You were thirsty," Charlotte said, then grew a devious grin on her face. "Though if I may ask, what are you afraid of?"

"Rain," Rachel said. "Scares me to death." Rachel then realized what she'd said, and slapped her face. "The Coke was drugged, wasn't it?"

"Uh huh," Charlotte said, nodding. "Fast-acting truth serum. Mixed in with the Coke. Izzy's formula worked!"

"I think I'll avoid the Coke," Xuxa said, looking nervous.

"Well, you already told me your fear, anyway," Charlotte said, looking guilty. "I'm really sorry. Izzy made me do it. I really like you girls, though."

"You won't find a better group than us!" Xuxa cheered, smiling bright.

"Say, you should go and get us some Coke," Rachel said, perking up. "Non-drugged Coke. We'll be waiting!"

"Fair enough," Charlotte said, then left the cabin.

Rachel immediately locked the door. "We're not letting her back in."

"That's too bad," Katrina said. "She seemed nice."

"She's the enemy," Rachel said, irritated. "She's broken our trust. We're not letting her back in."

Xuxa sighed. "That's too bad. I liked her."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Charlotte: (crying slightly) I really feel bad now. I think I really hurt Rachel, and I hate hurting people. We were getting along so well, too. I'm sorry.

Rachel: (banging her head on the wall behind her) I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I did that.

* * *

Alistair and Percy were sleeping in their sleeping bags on the cabin floor, when their door suddenly burst open.

"Wake up, maggots!" Rain bellowed, then lifted Percy by his shirt, putting his face up to hers. "What are you afraid of?" Rain asked, sounding sinister.

"Not getting any," Percy said weakly.

Rain slapped her face in frustration. "We can't air that on TV! Choose something else!"

"Fat girls," Percy said, somewhat afraid.

Rain smashed Percy's face against hers. "You disgust me." Rain threw Percy down, then headed for Alistair, who was shivering, and picked him up. "Fear! Now!"

"Being poor," Alistair said, cowering.

Rain grumbled and dropped him. "You guys suck! And where's Zack?"

"Don't know, and don't care!" Alistair shouted.

Rain gave him the finger, then slammed the door on her way out. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Zack lying on the grass beside the cabin, and walked up to him. "Zack," Rain said. Zack only shivered in her presence. "Look, I'm not going to hurt you, OK?" Zack still looked nervous, but stopped shivering. "Why are you out here, anyway?"

"I was kicked out," Zack said.

Rain smirked. "I can get you in there, but I really need something from you."

"What?"

"I really need you to tell me what you're afraid of. Izzy's having us interns ask all the contestants tonight, and I really need an answer."

Zack nodded. "I'm afraid of getting hit. You'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now." Zack started rubbing the back of his head. "I sure haven't."

Rain smiled. "I'm sorry that's going to bite you in the butt later, but for now, you're going back inside." Rain walked to the door with Zack, and he entered.

"We kicked you out," Alistair said, scowling. "Don't make us get physical. I really hate breaking a sweat."

Rain rushed over to pick Alistair up by his shirt. "Lucky for me, I don't mind breaking one. Tell you what I'm going to do: you let Zack sleep in here, and leave him alone, and I won't have to get rough." Rain threw Alistair against the wall, then turned to Zack. "If they do anything, let me know."

"Thank you," Zack said, as he started climbing into a sleeping bag.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: I believe in fairness, and there was nothing fair about those two jackasses kicking Zack out of his room.

Alistair: What a horrible monster! How **dare** that-

Izzy: Yeah, we weren't going to let that get to air. (Izzy shakes her head.)

* * *

"Come on, Stephanie," Nicole said, knocking on the door of her bedroom. "We won!"

"I didn't win," Stephanie said, sounding distraught.

"So you made a mistake," Nicole said. "It's not so bad."

"I don't make mistakes!" Stephanie yelled.

"No one's perfect," Nicole said, leaning her head against the door.

"**I **am perfect!" Stephanie wailed.

"That's a laugh," Jennie said, passing by the door.

"It's your fault we almost lost!" Stephanie yelled.

"Excuse me, my fault?" Jennie yelled back, trying to open the door desperately. "You say that to my face!"

The door suddenly opened, causing Jennie to fall back, and Stephanie to get right in Jennie's face. "It. Is. Your. Fault! **Happy?**"

"Is someone knocking on the door?" Nicole asked, looking toward the front door.

"You're knocking, and I wish you would stop that!" Stephanie yelled.

"I meant the front door," Nicole said, then walked over to the door and opened it.

Margo walked in, carrying cake, ice cream, and Dr. Pepper. "Hi people! I'm here to add a bit of happiness into your lives." Margo put the food on a nearby table, then glomped Nicole, taking her by surprise. "Nicole! It's been so long since I've seen you! You look very attractive tonight!"

"Uh, thanks," Nicole said, casually getting out from Margo's grip. "What's with the ice cream and cake?"

"And Dr. Pepper," Margo said, smiling bright. "Don't want to forget that! That's the most important thing!"

Nicole raised an eyebrow. "Why is that the most important thing?"

Margo looked nervous for a second, before continuing on casually. "You need something to wash down that cake, right?"

Nicole shrugged. "Good enough."

Hank knocked on Stephanie's door. "You may want to come out," Hank said. "I think we're having a party."

"I don't deserve it!" Stephanie yelled, but then quickly came out. "Jennie doesn't either, and if she thinks she's going to eat any cake, she's got another think coming!"

"Because I was surely going to eat that cake," Jennie said, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Do you know what goes into that?"

Margo grinned as she took out a bottle of a deep red liquid. "We also got some fresh cherry juice, just for you. Just made today."

Jennie was starting to drool. "I love that stuff! It's usually so expensive!"

Margo had a bright smile as she handed the bottle over to Jennie. "Think nothing of it!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Margo: Izzy didn't think Jennie would go for the Dr. Pepper, but she was spot on about the cherry juice! Pretty soon, everyone drank some of the Kool-Aid, and everyone was having fun! (Margo smiles innocently.)

* * *

"Reading a speech in front of hundreds of people," Quincy said, sitting in the main lobby with the other members of Team Moon, and Margo. "I don't know how people do it."

"Yet you're on a television show that millions of people watch," Stephanie said. "Makes perfect sense."

"I'm not in front of hundreds of people here," Quincy said. "It doesn't bother me that everyone's going to watch me on tape. It's just doing it live that bothers me."

"You suck," Todd said. "Public speaking is nothing! As a villain, I love speaking before large groups! What I hate, though, is doing good." Todd shuddered. "I cringe at the thought of doing good."

Margo turned to Hank. "What are you afraid of, cutie?"

Hank squeed on the inside, but composed himself before speaking. "I'm afraid of having all the ladies hating me."

"Why are you all blabbing what you're afraid of?" Stephanie shouted, visibly frustrated. "Are you all idiots? Don't you remember what happened last time everyone did this on the show?"

"I have to agree with Stephanie," Jennie said, then shuddered. "Feels disgusting to agree with her, too."

"It's good for catharsis," Nicole said, then shrugged. "Might as well do it. I'm afraid of getting beat up."

Stephanie's eyes narrowed. "Who's threatening you? They're not going to mess with you as long as I'm around!"

"It's at school," Nicole said. "Some people think I need to be taught a lesson, being so open about being gay. Sal and Harv definitely don't like it."

Stephanie looked down. "I'm sorry I won't be able to help you there."

"It'll be OK," Nicole said. "I think."

"Veronica," Margo said, smiling, "what are you afraid of?"

"Drawbridges," Veronica said. "I hate crossing them. I'm always worried that the person at the control is out to get me, and they'll send the grill zooming up while I'm on it. I'll always go the long way just to avoid one."

"I don't believe this," Stephanie said, slapping her face in frustration. "You're all fools, except for you, Jennie. I can't believe that you are the sane one."

"Thanks," Jennie said sarcastically.

"Elizabeth, what are you afraid of?" Margo asked.

"Static electricity," Elizabeth answered. "You never know when it'll happen. You touch something that looks innocent enough, and wham, it gets you!"

"It's not really that bad," Jennie said.

"It hurts!" Elizabeth complained. "I don't know how most people don't worry about it."

"We're not sharing our fears, though," Jennie said, holding Stephanie's hand.

"Correct," Stephanie said.

"That's OK," Margo said, then smirked. "Izzy already knows that Jennie's afraid of watching a tree burn without trying to save it."

"Nice try," Jennie said. "I'm not afraid of that. I'd just save the tree anyway. I'm afraid of McDonald's, though. Especially the thought of eating what passes for meat in those places." Jennie shuddered, then reality hit her, and she slapped her face in frustration, and screamed.

"I can't believe you fell for that," Stephanie said, shaking her head.

Margo cocked an eyebrow. "And what are you afraid of, Miss Stephanie?"

"Exposing my body for everyone to see," Stephanie said nonchalantly. After a couple of seconds, Stephanie's eyes grew wide, then she stood up and screamed toward the sky.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (bawling) How could I do something so imbecilic? She asked, and I just told her? How could I do something so… I'm supposed to be too intelligent to fall for such an obvious trick!

Margo: (looking guilty) I really should've told Stephanie that it wasn't her fault, that she was drugged with truth serum. That might've made her feel less bad about it.

* * *

Stephanie's was latched onto Jennie tightly, crying loudly, while Jennie herself looked confused. "There… there?" Jennie asked. "I messed up, too."

"Everyone expects you to mess up, though!" Stephanie wailed. "I'm not supposed to, though!"

"OK, you can find someone else to bother now," Jennie said, pushing Stephanie away.

"Ha ha!" Todd said, pointing and laughing at Stephanie. "You have the lamest fear of all! Laugh with me! Mwahahaha!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: OK, really, Jennie's fear was the stupidest one-I love eating kittens, myself-but it was important for me to put my personal feelings aside when I realized that Stephanie would be in far more pain than Jennie would've been making fun of her.

* * *

Bob, George, Ulysses, and Yancy were in their bunk beds, getting ready to go to sleep, when they heard a knock on their door.

"Door!" Bob exclaimed.

"That it is," George said as he got out of his bed and headed over to the door, to let Elli in.

"Hi, guys," Elli said, grinning, holding a few bottles of Coca-Cola.

"Hi Elli," George said.

"Hey, you knew it was me," Elli said, smirking. "I'm impressed."

"I'm good with voices," George said.

"What in blue blazes is going on here?" Ulysses shouted, immediately leaping out of bed. "Why has a female invaded our men's space?"

"Izzy didn't hire any interns who were boys," Elli said, then shrugged. "I don't mind, really."

"State your business!" Ulysses shouted.

"I'm simply here to make a bet with you guys," Elli said, still smirking. "I've got five two-liters here, and I want to see who can drink it the fastest."

"Get out!" Ulysses shouted.

"What do we have to put up?" George asked.

"Nothing, this is house money you're playing with," Elli said. "Two hundred dollars to whoever can drink it the fastest!"

"I can use that money," Ulysses said. "After I win, then you're out of here!"

"Of course," Elli said, handing everyone their bottles of soda. "Now, on the count of three, chug! One, two, three!" The four boys and Elli started chugging down their soda, with Elli finishing long before any of the boys did. "Looks like I just won two hundred dollars."

"Aww," Bob said, looking down.

"Don't fret," Elli said. "There's always next time. But until then, I wanted to ask you guys something."

"Then will you leave?" Ulysses asked, impatient.

"Sure will," Elli said. "I just wanted to know what you guys are afraid of."

"Bottomless pits," George said. "They're especially scary when you can't see that they're there."

"I don't think those really exist," Elli said.

"They feel bottomless enough."

"I'm afraid of math," Bob said. "Math is scary."

"Aw shoot, I love math," Elli said, smirking once more. "Especially probabilities and statistics. Big fan of those."

"I'm scared of doorbells," Yancy said. "I've seen those on the TV, and they're just unnatural."

"Well, it is true that they're not typically found in nature," Elli said, shaking her head.

"I'm afraid of faggots," Ulysses said, shivering a bit.

"Wait, what?" Elli said, stunned.

"The gays, the fruits, the queer folk, you know," Ulysses stated, irritated.

"You're kidding," Elli said, glaring at Ulysses.

"Bah," Ulysses said, waving dismissively to her. "Should've known a female wouldn't understand. They're trying to take over our country and oppress the normal people!"

"Normal people," Elli said, holding back anger.

"They want to exterminate the human race!" Ulysses shouted. "But you're too stupid to understand, being a female and all."

"I'm not the stupid one here!" Elli shouted, then stormed out of the cabin.

Ulysses shrugged. "I guess I'll admit Bob's pretty stupid, too."

"Aww, thanks," Bob said, hugging Ulysses.

"My point exactly," Ulysses said, then pushed Bob off. "People are gonna' start thinking you're queer if you do that."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elli: I really could've done without staying for Ulysses' rant. Yancy's fear was stupid, but funny. Ulysses' was stupid, but not so funny.

Bob: Ulysses is funny! He could be on TV!

* * *

"This had better be important," Isis said, groggy as she was awaken by Danielle.

"You were snoring," Danielle said. "It was keeping me awake."

"It wasn't that loud," Ophelia said. "I barely heard it."

"Yeah, but you're in the other bunk bed," Danielle said. "I'm closer to her."

"The bed under me is free," Ophelia said, trying to motion Danielle to the bed underneath her.

"Yeah, but I wanted the top bunk," Danielle said.

"Can't you please just let me sleep?" Isis complained.

"No," Danielle said. "If you're sleeping, then I can't sleep, so could you please stay awake so I can get some sleep?" Danielle smiled and pat Isis' head. "Thank you."

"Don't touch me!" Isis shouted angrily. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Look, if you go to sleep, I'll wake you back up," Danielle said, smirking. "Then neither of us will get any sleep. But if you stay awake, then at least I can get some sleep. Isn't that better than neither of us getting any sleep?"

"Can't you stop being a selfish witch and think about someone else?" Isis said, exasperated.

"I'm thinking my millions of fans I'll inevitably have who are watching me on TV," Danielle said. "They all want me to get my beauty sleep, and none of them will be able to tell the difference if you don't get it."

"Please, just leave me alone!" Isis shouted, then started to cry.

Danielle looked guilty. "Are you OK?"

"No, I'm not OK!" Isis yelled. "I just wanted to get some sleep, and you won't let me!"

Danielle hugged Isis. "I'm sorry. I'll tell you what: I'll sacrifice my beauty sleep so you can get some rest."

Isis looked confused. "Wait, what?"

Danielle smiled sincerely. "I know it's really big of me, but you just seemed so hurt. I don't like watching people suffer."

Isis raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since always," Danielle said. "Making huge sacrifices like this is what makes me such a good person." Danielle looked around the room nervously. "You'll return the favor, I hope."

Isis groaned. "I knew there was a catch."

"It's only fair," Danielle said.

"Why can't you just both sleep?" Ophelia asked.

"Isis won't allow me to sleep, but it's OK, because I'm willing to sacrifice my sleep for hers."

"Why do you have to be so melodramatic?" Isis asked.

Danielle blinked, confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Someone knocked on their door. "Urgh," Isis complained. "So much for any chance of me getting any sleep tonight."

Danielle skipped over to the door, and let Alyssa inside, who was carrying a gallon of punch. "Hi, Alyssa, I know you're here to interview me, as the main protagonist of this lovely season of the show."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Alyssa said.

"You should pay closer attention, then, because it's clearly me," Danielle said, smiling bright.

"I was hoping to interview you three, though," Alyssa said. "It's for the paper, and I'm hoping I can go international with this scoop." Alyssa set down three cups, and filled them with punch. "In case you get thirsty during the interview."

"But I just brushed my teeth," Ophelia said, then leapt out of bed and drank a cup. "I love the taste of punch right after brushing my teeth! Almost as good as orange juice!"

"I'm sorry I didn't bring the OJ," Alyssa said, then coughed as she took the pencil from her ear, and took out a notepad.

"I was born in the city," Danielle declared. "My parents got rid of me and sent me to an orphanage, and then-"

"I didn't ask any questions yet," Alyssa said, while Isis started drinking some of the punch. "Ophelia, what are you afraid of?"

"Not much scares me, really," Ophelia said, stroking her chin, "but I do have a crippling case of zellmanakawakaphobia."

Alyssa blinked, confused. "I have no idea what that is."

"It's a fear of being attacked by talking flashlight batteries during a potato race," Danielle said casually.

Ophelia let out a small scream. "Please don't talk about it."

"I'm sorry," Danielle said, smiling.

Alyssa turned to Isis. "What are you afraid of?"

"The police," Isis said. "They're not there to protect and serve me, they're there to protect and serve whitey."

Danielle rolled her eyes. "Of course you would think that. You think we're all out to get you."

"A lot of them are," Ophelia said, shrugging.

"Thank you for not being dismissive of my fears," Isis said to Ophelia, then hugged. "So many people think it's all in my head."

"Because it is," Danielle stated. "You just enjoy complaining."

"What are you afraid of, Danielle?" Alyssa asked, grinning.

"Absolutely nothing at all," Danielle said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm insulted that you would think that I, of all people, would be stupid enough to have any fears."

"Thirsty?" Alyssa said, handing a cup of punch over to Danielle.

"Thank you for offering, but no thank you, that stuff's full of calories," Danielle said.

Alyssa pulled out a bottle of water from behind her back. "I have some water. No calories in this."

"Thank you, I'm parched," Danielle said, as she quickly swallowed the water in the bottle. "That felt nice."

"You're welcome," Alyssa said, then grew a devious grin. "So, what are you afraid of again?"

Danielle looked at Alyssa like she had grown a third head. "I already told you, I'm not afraid of anything. Didn't you hear me the first time?"

Alyssa started to rub the back of her neck nervously. "Well, I thought since you weren't thirsty anymore, maybe you'd be thinking more clearly about the answer to that question."

"Why would I not be able to answer just because I had a drink?" Danielle asked, getting annoyed.

"Why isn't it working," Alyssa muttered under her breath.

"I can hear you just fine," Danielle said, looking suspiciously at Alyssa. "Why isn't what working?"

"What are you afraid of?" Alyssa asked again.

"Nothing, stop asking me stupid questions!" Danielle shouted.

Alyssa looked nervous, but then smirked. "What do you think about Duncan?"

"I think he's the perfect guy and I so desperately want to steal him away from Courtney!" Danielle shouted, then immediately covered her mouth, and turned bright red.

"OK, you're being mean now, and totally taking advantage of her truth serum state," Ophelia said, leading Alyssa out the door. "You should be ashamed of misusing truth serum like that!" Ophelia slammed the door in Alyssa's face, then turned back to Isis and Danielle, and went over to hug Danielle. "Are you OK?"

"No," Danielle said, crying. "Courtney's going to hate me now. I like Courtney, I really do, and now she's going to think I want to steal Duncan away from her."

"You kinda' do," Ophelia said.

"Well, deep down, yes," Danielle said, then sniffled. "I respect Courtney too much to actually do it, though. I would never want to hurt someone who's the second nicest person ever, and almost as perfect as I am."

"Yeah," Isis said, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to bed now."

"Be heartless like that," Danielle said, angry. "See if ever care when someone hurts you!"

"You don't care when someone hurts me," Isis stated flatly.

"Looks like I was right to do that, now," Danielle said, glaring at Isis, then started crying while keeping Ophelia in a tight glomp.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alyssa: I feel terrible about that, but I was thinking the truth serum wasn't working on Danielle, but apparently, it was. And that was a terrible thing I did… why did Izzy make me do that?

Izzy: I didn't exactly make you ask the Duncan question… although I did like the result of that! I don't really like Danielle much.

Danielle: (crying her eyes out) I don't understand why everyone's always so mean to me! It's not my fault I'm the most perfect human being ever! I wish people would stop taking out their jealousy on me!

* * *

"What?" Izzy exclaimed into her cell phone, standing on the Dock of Shame, standing next to Bridgette. "Really? That's great!"

"What is it?" Bridgette asked, curious.

"Heather's here! She's going to be arriving in just a few minutes! Gather everyone!"

"Right!" Bridgette exclaimed, then hurried off. And tripped over one of the planks on the dock.

Izzy shook her head. "Same old Bridgette."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I was excited to hear that a new contestant was coming! I could use another friend. I mean, Ophelia's nice, but I could use someone a little more sane. And I intend to get to the new person before everyone else can tell her not to trust me!

Percy: I hope she's hot!

Rachel: Just what the show needed. A new contestant to lower my odds of winning. Great.

Katrina: I was excited to hear that a new contestant was coming. (Katrina looks down and twiddles her fingers.) Then I saw who it was. This isn't going to be good.

* * *

The twenty-one contestants were all standing near the Dock of Shame, while Izzy and Bridgette were standing at the start of it, as a yacht approached.

"We've finally got a whole alphabet, people!" Izzy exclaimed. "Heather personally found her, and thought she'd make a wonderful contestant!"

"I'm doubting that," Rachel said, with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping one arm with a finger.

Heather stepped off the yacht onto the Dock of Shame, smiling bright. "I've been looking forward to meeting you all!"

"Wasn't she evil?" Katrina asked, a bit confused.

"You're one to talk," Danielle muttered.

Heather looked a bit embarrassed. "Not anymore. I mean, I was… I wouldn't say 'evil,' but pretty mean and cruel and petty, but I've gotten better."

"She really has," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Anyway, I had a good friend named Jewel, who… well, I don't want to get into that whole thing, and please don't bring that up now, Nicole."

"Wasn't going to," Nicole said, shrugging.

"Thank you," Heather said. "Anyway, Jewel's made a good friend since then, and I can vouch for how awesome she is, since I've been spending a lot of time with her-not all of it by choice-but here she is, Mallory Lamy!"

Mallory showed herself and exited the yacht. A girl with short blonde hair and a few freckles stepped off the boat wearing a light blue shirt, jean capris, and glasses, though perhaps most obvious, she didn't have a right arm. "Hi y'all!"

"Right now, Team Amazon has the fewest players," Izzy said. "So I'll just stick you on Team Amazon."

The members of Team Amazon stepped closer to Mallory. Rachel was the first to speak up. "Just because we're on the same team doesn't mean we have to like you. And we don't."

"I'm pretty sure the guys and the obvious Rachel alliance can put aside our differences to vote you off next," Alistair stated, with a devious smirk on his face.

"Hi," Katrina said, nervously adjusting her shirt collar, while extending her left hand.

"Katrina," Mallory said, not looking happy. Katrina looked guilty.

"Ooh, you know our names!" Xuxa exclaimed, going to shake Mallory's hand. "I bet you know me, too!"

"Actually, I have no idea who you are," Mallory said, smiling again. "You seem friendly, though."

"Eeeiii!" Xuxa exclaimed, then glomped Mallory. "Thank you!"

Mallory pat Xuxa's back. "You're welcome."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (nervously rubbing her arm) I do have some making up to do. A lot of it. Maybe I should ask Heather how she did it.

Mallory: Yes, I was quite surprised to see Katrina here. Not a happy surprise, either. (Mallory drums her fingers on the arm of the chair.) I hope everyone else will be nice, at least.

Danielle: I **knew **it! I knew Katrina was evil! I saw that look! I could sense it from the beginning! I'm an excellent judge of character, of course, so I knew there was little chance I'd be wrong! In your face, Katrina!

* * *

"Don't get too used to her," Rachel said, laughing. "She won't be here long."

"Could you not do that?" Katrina whispered to Rachel. "She doesn't deserve this."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked. "She's invading our team! We need to stick together and destroy her!" Rachel pounded her fist against the palm of her other hand.

"I'll explain later," Katrina said, nervous. "Just please be nice to her. She doesn't deserve your wrath."

Rachel sighed. "Fine. I'll be civil. For now."

"You're the best!" Katrina exclaimed, giving Rachel a quick hug.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, let's not get too sappy here."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: I don't really see why I have to try to be nice to the one-armed freak, but it just meant so much to Katrina. (Rachel sighs.) The things I do for my friends.

* * *

"So what's the name of the challenge this season?" Rachel asked, with her hands on her hips. "We already had Phobia Factor and Fear Multiple. So is it going to be called Fear Factor this season?"

"That name's under copyright, so no," Izzy said. "But we're not doing that challenge."

"Wait, you're-" Rachel started, then stopped abruptly. "What was the whole thing last night for, then?"

"Just to make you guys worry that we'd have a fear challenge next!" Izzy exclaimed, then started laughing. "Boy were you all fooled!"

"It seemed a little mean," Bridgette said to Izzy, then turned to the contestants. "I hope you all don't blame our poor interns for that."

"She tried to kill me!" Alistair shouted. "Of course I blame her for that!"

"Guess I know who got Rain," Bridgette muttered to herself.

"Alyssa's the meanest person ever!" Danielle shouted, crying a little. "She's even worse than Isis!"

"Gee, thanks," Isis said, rolling her eyes.

"What is the challenge, anyway?" Rachel asked, annoyed.

"There was a point to the whole intern thing," Izzy said, grinning. "You see, we'll still be scaring people… but it's up to you to scare the interns! And whichever team scares the most of our interns wins!"

"But how are we supposed to know what scares them?" Isis asked.

"Hidden around the campsite are several Post-It notes," Izzy said. "Each note has an intern listed, and her fear. There are several for each intern, so don't think you're safe just because you found one of the Post-It notes."

"And I'll be in charge of giving you any supplies you may need," Gwen said, smirking, from behind everyone. "I could really get into this challenge." Danielle grew a huge smile.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Gwen! Of course! That's how I can take the heat from Courtney off of me! Make her mad at someone else, and since it's obvious that Gwen's crushing on Duncan, it'll be easy. On the other hand, it'd be pretty mean and selfish of me, just to get Courtney's trust back… eh, Gwen's a bully, anyway. I remember how cruel she was toward Heather back in the first season.

* * *

"And if you are ready, then go!" Izzy exclaimed, as almost all of the contestants ran off, except for Rachel, Katrina, Xuxa, and Mallory. "Um, you can go now."

"I'm just following them," Mallory said. "I'm sorry, I'm still getting a bit used to being here."

"We don't need to hurry off just yet," Rachel said. "We can get a quick point right here, right now. Thank you, Charlotte!"


	12. Day 6, Part 2: What Is Rain Afraid Of?

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 12: Day 6: Part 2: What Is Rain Afraid Of?**

"I feel terrible," Alyssa said, sitting in a chair with her hands propping up her head, sitting with the other interns in their house in the living room.

Margo giggled. "It was only a game. I'm sure she'll understand."

Elli smirked. "Fifty bucks says she's plotting her revenge right now."

"It's Danielle," Rain said, irritated. "Of course she's plotting revenge! That's what the little racist brat does!"

"You're starting to sound like Isis," Alexis said, nervous.

"If the shoe fits," Rain said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: My plan was so foolproof, it had to work! (Danielle pounded her fist into the palm of her other hand.)

* * *

"That's really how you found Mallory?" Leshawna asked, lying out in the sun, relaxing with Heather and Gwen.

"I just went with my gut on this one," Heather said. "She was corresponding with Jewel, who seemed to like her, and-"

"And you trusted Jewel," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"She made a mistake," Heather said. "She's paying for that now. I couldn't stay mad."

"She tried to kill Bridgette and Lindsay," Gwen stated.

Heather raised an eyebrow. "I tend to remember a certain something involving Leshawna and a hot box last season." Gwen turned red and tried to sink her head as far down as she could.

"She wasn't in a good place," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "We all did things we shouldn't have."

"Except for Mallory," Heather said, smiling bright, looking toward the sky. "I was actually surprised that someone like her would've written to Jewel. She's so forgiving. It's amazing, she turned out so well, after everything she's had to deal with in her life."

"Did she mention the name 'Katrina' to you?"

Heather's expression turned sour. "She did. She… wait, who asked that?" The three girls turned around to find Danielle, who was carrying three cups of Coca-Cola.

Danielle started fanning herself. "It's really hot out here. I thought you three could use some refreshing beverage.

"Thank you," Heather said, reaching for a cup, though Leshawna slapped it out of her hand. "OK, I know you didn't just do that."

"Don't fall for her little nice act," Leshawna said. "That girl's pure evil!"

Danielle pouted and stomped her foot. "I am not! I'm extremely nice!"

"And we're sure that drink wasn't the same drink from last night that was tainted with the truth serum," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow.

"No it wasn't!" Danielle yelled, as she ran off.

Heather giggled a bit.. "I could've sworn Danielle was supposed to be this sweet, lovable, perfect girl."

"That's just what she wants you to think," Gwen said, smirking. "No one's buying it. Katrina's pretty close to perfect, though." Heather looked like she was trying to figure something out.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Heather: (narrowing her eyes) Danielle knows something, and I want to know what!

Danielle: Maybe that was too obvious. More subtlety is required here. I will ensure that Courtney finds someone else to blame, so she'll forgive me!

Courtney: Danielle's a sweet girl, really. It's a shame none of the other contestants seem to appreciate her near-perfection.

* * *

"Why isn't Danielle here?" Isis yelled, as she and the other members of Team Himalayas, minus Danielle, were walking through the woods. "Why isn't she helping us?"

"She said she had important things to take care of," Ophelia said. "Said she had to get in good with Courtney again."

"I didn't realize they had a falling out," George said. "Then again, I didn't really know they were friends in the first place."

"They totally are!" Ophelia exclaimed. "I mean, I guess she and me kinda' are as well, or maybe that's me and Isis, or…" Ophelia trailed off, tapping her chin. "You know, I really don't know."

"Would you shut up!" Ulysses barked, fuming. "All of this useless chatter, unnecessary! Focus on the task!"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," George said.

"That was me," Ophelia admitted, rubbing her arm. "I accidentally woke up on the side with the wall, and I hurt my arm, owie!"

"Don't care!" Ulysses shouted. "Silence!"

Ophelia narrowed her eyes, then grinned. "I think I have a new special friend."

"George, look under that suspicious-looking blue rock," Isis said, pointing to a familiar blue rock right next to George.

George picked up a tan rock. "I'm not sure what this is for, but here you go."

Isis slapped her face. "The blue rock! The blue rock!"

Ophelia scratched her head. "Maybe he's colorblind?"

"No he's… oh," Isis said, embarrassed. "I guess, technically, he is, and-Bob, don't eat that!"

"It looked like a pancake, but it tastes stale," Bob said, chewing on a flat rock.

Isis looked like she wanted to shoot herself. "That's a rock."

Bob spit the rock out. "Worst pancake I've ever had."

"Pancake, where?" Ophelia exclaimed, then saw the saliva-covered rock on the ground. "Pancake!" Ophelia exclaimed, then shoved the whole thing in her mouth and swallowed it, then started tapping her chin. "You know, that's actually not the worst pancake I've ever eaten."

"That's disgusting!" Ulysses shouted, reeling back, while Isis shrugged and went over to lift the blue rock herself, finding a note. She then walked away, leaving everyone behind.

"It's a rock," Ophelia said, with her hands on her hips. "Rocks aren't disgusting. It's not like eating human waste."

"You will stop that backtalk now, soldier!" Ulysses barked.

Ophelia yawned. "You're not my Mom."

"I am your superior officer, and you will obey commands given to you!"

"Or what?"

"You'll get a demerit!"

Ophelia rolled her eyes. "And that means what, exactly? I'm not in the military."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Isis: I felt I could do a better job by myself, so I just let the rest of my teammates argue while I won this challenge!

Ophelia: I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with "I don't know how to have fun, so I'm going to complain when anyone else has even the tiniest sliver of fun." And his name starts with U. That's right, Umi! (Ophelia shows a book she's reading on camera.) Take him down, Wendy, ha ha!

* * *

There was a knock on the interns' door. "Who is it?" Rain grumbled.

"It's Isis," Isis said.

"Oh, come in," Rain said. "You know, of all of the contestants, I hope you win!"

"I thought you hated all the contestants," Alexis said, smirking.

"Nope," Rain said. "I like Isis, and what she stands for, and… you support gay rights, I do hope."

"Oh, yes," Isis said, smiling bright. "Gay couples are so cute and sweet."

Rain sighed. "Not really the answer I was hoping for."

"I'm sorry," Isis said, looking guilty. "I know what it's like, having people make fun of me for being a lovely African Canadian woman. I'm sorry I hurt you." Isis glomped Rain, who smiled slightly.

"OK, don't go mushy," Rain said.

":I don't see Alyssa here," Isis said. "I need to find her for the challenge."

"She went to look for Danielle, to apologize to her, for some reason," Rain said, then shuddered. "White girl doesn't deserve an apology, if you ask me."

"You said it," Isis said, nodding, then walked off. "See you later."

"Take care," Rain said, waving a bit before going back inside with her fellow interns, sitting in a chair.

"It's so nice and fluffy to see you acting so nice!" Margo exclaimed, holding her hands together.

Rain rolled her eyes. "I am nice!"

"You kind of yell a lot," Margo said, uneasy.

"I'm nice!" Rain yelled, causing Margo to fall back in her chair.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: I don't like that these new contestants got to compete and I didn't, which isn't fair! (Rain sighed.) Still, at least a few of them are nice enough. Isis is nice. Zack's not so bad. And Katrina makes it hard to dislike her, really.

* * *

"Are you all ready?" Rachel said, holding a rattle.

"No," Mallory stated, holding a Chatter Phone. "I'll be ready when **she** is gone."

"Just get over… whatever," Rachel said, waving dismissively to Mallory.

"It's OK, I can leave you alone," Katrina said, nervous. "I'll just be elsewhere for now."

"Stay," Rachel demanded. "You don't take orders from this nobody!"

"Please don't call her that," Katrina said, visibly uncomfortable. "Really, I don't mind stepping away."

"**I **mind!" Rachel shouted, though Katrina started walking away, anyway, leaving Rachel there, gnashing her teeth. Rachel angrily turned to Mallory, poking her in the chest. "What's your problem?"

"Why do you keep defending her?" Mallory asked, irritated. "Do you even know who she is?"

"My best friend!" Rachel shouted. "And I'm not going to let you slander her!"

"What about-I'm sorry, what was your name?""Xuxa," Xuxa said, holding a Rock-a-Stack.

"What about-um… how do you spell that, anyway?" Mallory asked, getting distracted. "That starts with an S, I'm guessing?"

"X," Xuxa said. "X-U-X-A, Xuxa."

Mallory blinked. "Wasn't that the name of the Brazilian-"

"Yes, please don't mention it," Xuxa said, irritated. "Ever. Again."

"I'm sorry," Mallory said. "Anyway, Rachel, why not let Xuxa be your best friend?"

"We didn't get off to a great start," Xuxa said, shrugging. "Kinda' had the hots for the same guy, who turned out to be the spawn of Satan. But what's your beef with Katrina, anyway?"

Mallory shook her right 'arm' toward Xuxa. "There's a reason I have this."

"So she deliberately detached your arm," Rachel said, sounding bored, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Well, no," Mallory said.

"OK, then she accidentally did something that caused your arm to fall off."

"Fall off… eww," Mallory said, shuddering a bit. "But no, that was someone else."

Rachel sighed. "OK, look, I'm sorry some cruel person did that to you, but if it wasn't Katrina, stop blaming her, OK?"

"She's not a good person," Mallory said.

Rachel put her arm around Mallory. "I really don't know what Katrina did to you, but people do change." Rachel smiled. "She's actually the nicest person here, really!"

"It's true!" Xuxa exclaimed. "She's such a great friend!"

Mallory shook her head, then hugged Xuxa tight. "Be careful around her, OK?"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: She's faking it. I just know she's faking it! She's obviously the Tabitha to Rachel's and Xuxa's Uzuri… OK, sorry about that, it's from some fan fiction I read.

Katrina: I really wanted to give Mallory space. She obviously doesn't trust me, and I don't really blame her. And I know it's nice that Rachel and Xuxa want to stand up for me, but really, I need to earn Mallory's trust. There's absolutely no reason she should just blindly trust me again. (Katrina starts crying slightly.)

* * *

"Heather?" Katrina asked, walking up to Heather, Leshawna, and Gwen, still relaxing in the sun.

Heather lifted her head and put her hand to her eyes to block the sun. "Hi… who are you?"

Katrina extended her hand. "Katrina Cyndi Dixon, though you may call me Katrina, please."

Heather's eyes narrowed for a quick moment, then she put on a false smile and shook Katrina's hand. "Nice to meet you." Gwen and Leshawna noticed, and looked to each other, not really sure what was going on.

"I understand you've changed since the original season of _Total Drama Island, _correct?" Katrina asked.

"Yes…" Heather said, trailing off.

"I was hoping to get some advice," Katrina said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Preferably in private. It's rather personal and embarrassing on my part."

"I'll bet it is," Heather said, suspicious, then she stood up. "I'll be back shortly."

"Thank you," Katrina said, smiling bright.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I understand that Heather has some understanding in making amends, and I'm hoping she can help me. Maybe that's my ultimate purpose in being here, to make things right with Mallory.

Heather: (disgusted) Bite me.

* * *

"Can you stop singing already?" Rain shouted, holding her ears.

"I thought it was pretty good," Alexis said, a bit confused.

"She keeps singing the same song over and over!" Rachel yelled.

"Gee, sorry," Charlotte said. "I'm just a big Kylie Minogue fan!"

"But 'The Locomotion' isn't her only song!" Rain yelled, pulling on her hair in frustration.

"Aww," Margo said, sniffling. "I love songs about trains." Margo sighed. The six interns, minus Alyssa, just sat in silence, though Charlotte was starting to freak out.

"What's that?" Charlotte asked, getting nervous.

"Sounds like a rattlesnake," Rain said, smirking.

"Snake?" Alexis shrieked, leaping to the back of her chair. "Where?" Rain slapped her own face.

Rachel casually opened the door. "No, dummy, it's a rattle!"

"**Get! Out!**" Rain screamed at Rachel.

"We have some business to attend to first," Rachel said, as she hurried over to Charlotte, shaking the rattle in her face, while Mallory hurried in and rolled the Chatter Phone toward Charlotte, and Xuxa rushed in to dump a pile of colorful plastic doughnuts in Charlotte's lap. Charlotte screamed as she tried to get away, and started crying a bit.

Mallory walked up, looking concerned. "I'm sorry," Mallory said, patting Charlotte's back. "That was just the challenge. To scare you." Mallory smirked. "And I do believe this means the Amazons got a point!"

Rain glared at Mallory. "Look, you're new here, so I'll give you another chance, but if you do anything like this again, your dead." Rain started cracking her knuckles as she looked at Rachel, who looked like she suddenly realized what was about to happen. "You, on the other hand-"

"See ya', gotta' go, bye!" Rachel said as she quickly hurried out of the interns' lounge, with Rain chasing after.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (with a black eye, pointing to it) If I got this for nothing and we lose, someone is really going to pay for this!

Mallory: You know, I know Rachel's kind of mean, but I still had to feel bad for her there. (Mallory winces.)

* * *

Todd was with Hank, wearing a beret and carrying a palette and paintbrush, and walking toward a large rock wall. "This plan is ingenious!

"I don't really get it," Hank said. "This isn't going to work in real life, you know."

"Au contraire, my minion," Todd said. "That's why I'm the evil genius, you see. All I need to do is paint a tunnel, and some unlucky sap is bound to crash right into it!"

"Why would they be running high-speed into the tunnel, anyway?" Hank asked, scratching his head. "I mean, even if they run into the wall, they're not going to be going that fast. All they'll get is a bruise."

Todd stroked his goatee. "I haven't thought this through that far yet. But fear not, for I will come up with a use for this!"

Hank put his hands in his pockets, and started swaying on his feet. "When are the girls coming, anyway? They don't seem to have really noticed me."

"That is an excellent question," Todd said. "These things sometimes take time, though. Before long, I assure you, they will see us as the bad boys we are, and become obsessed with us! It happened with Courtney and Gwen falling for Duncan, and it'll happen with everyone with us soon enough! Mwahahaha!"

"The laugh is kind of creepy," Hank said.

"You think?" Todd asked. "Thank you. Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion on such matters. Like, maybe I can't be objective about my own laugh, so it's good to get an outsider's view."

"I… didn't really mean that as a good thing."

"Oh, I know," Todd said. "I'd have been insulted if you did mean it as a compliment."

Hank shrugged. "I still don't think painting the tunnel is going to work. That usually only works in cartoons."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: The key word being "usually." Mwahahaha! Yeah, I think I really got it down.

Danielle: Seriously, why is everyone an idiot but me? I don't understand it.

* * *

"OK, why do I have to be the one to throw the snake?" Mallory asked, worried, as she was holding a snake of some sort.

"Because of the three of us, if Rain had to kill someone, I'd rather it be you, duh," Rachel said, with her hands on her hips. "It's a harmless snake, anyway. I think."

"How reassuring," Mallory said sarcastically.

"You can trust Rachel," Xuxa said. "She's very honest. Probably too honest. Honestly, her honesty feels kind of mean a lot of the time."

"Shut up," Rachel said, semi-sweetly, semi-'I'm-going-to-kill-you'-ly.

"You can do it," Xuxa said, putting a hand on Mallory's shoulder. "If Rain tries to hurt you, I'll protect you! She'll have to get past me first!"

"Given her strength, even lifting you out of the way won't be a problem for her," Rachel said, filing her nails.

"Do you take that file with you everywhere?" Xuxa asked.

"I like my nails to look nice," Rachel said, shrugging. "Nothing wrong with keeping up appearances.":

"Go, my little snake, go!" Mallory shouted as she slammed open the door, then tossed the snake to Alexis, who started screaming.

"Two points for the Amazons, yes!" Rachel exclaimed, pumping her fist.

Rain immediately appeared in front of Rachel, pounding her fist into the palm of her other hand. "Hope that was worth what's about to happen."

Rachel gulped. "Mallory did it!"

Rain turned to Mallory, still pounding her fist into the palm of her other hand. "Did you throw it?"

"Y-yes," Mallory said, shivering.

"Honesty," Rain said, smirking. "I like that! Still, don't do it again, but as for you, Rachel-" Rain stopped herself when she turned around, and saw Rachel frantically running away. Rain started chasing after. "Get back here!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (with two black eyes) OK, but seriously, we have two points. These black eyes had **better** not have been all for nothing!

* * *

"Seriously, Alyssa, where are you?" Isis said, as she walked through the cafeteria, where the original campers, minus Heather, were eating pizza. "Any of you know where Alyssa is?"

"Sorry," Izzy said, shrugging. "I'd guess she's probably lounging around in their little intern lounge."

Isis sighed. "She wasn't there."

"Then I don't know where she is," Izzy said.

"The challenge seems a little mean," Lindsay said, sounding unsure of herself. "It seems like something Chris would've done."

"It's not that bad, really," Courtney said. "The interns are all afraid of stupid things."

"So says the girl who's scared of green jelly," Duncan said, raising half his eyebrow.

"You're so immature!" Courtney shouted.

"And you're uptight," Duncan said, and the two immediately started making out.

"We're eating," Gwen said, as she drank some of her drink. "Some of us want to enjoy the pizza."

"Hi Gwen!" Danielle exclaimed, popping from underneath the tablecloth where Gwen was sitting.

"Ack!" Gwen shrieked. "What were you doing there?"

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that," Danielle said, uneasy, then coughed. "I mostly just wanted to ask if you had a crush on Duncan."

"Of course I have a crush on him, like, major!" Gwen exclaimed, then covered her mouth, turning red in embarrassment. Danielle grew a devious grin on her face.

"What?" Trent asked, looking devastated.

"I knew it," Duncan said, smirking.

"What is this?" Courtney complained.

"Can we talk about it first?" Lindsay asked, nudging on Courtney's sleeve. "Maybe I can help you-"

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary," Courtney said, glaring at Gwen. "So all this time. All this time, you were trying to convince me that I was paranoid, that you really weren't after Duncan."

"That's not what she said," Lindsay muttered.

"Shut it!" Courtney yelled at Lindsay, who looked horrified, before Courtney turned back to Gwen. "You wanted to steal Duncan away from me, didn't you?"

"Yes I did," Gwen said, then quickly covered her mouth again, turned even redder, and rushed out of the cafeteria. "I'm really, really sorry, Courtney," she said as she ran out.

"That… the **nerve **of her!" Courtney said, in a scary tone, clenching her fists, and starting to cry.

Lindsay was nervously rubbing her arm. "Do you want to go somewhere private to-"

"No I don't!" Courtney yelled. "Quit being so stupid! Do I look like I want to talk about anything?" Courtney threw her plate down to the floor, and ran out of the cafeteria, trying to hold back tears.

"Actually, you did look like you needed it," Lindsay said, looking worried, twiddling her fingers.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Lindsay: I thought Courtney was my friend. (Lindsay sighs.) Maybe I was wrong. It wouldn't be the first time I was wrong.

Courtney: (crying her eyes out, banging her head against the camera) I'm sorry, Lindsay. My head wasn't in the right place, and I just… **Gwen! **(Courtney shudders at the mention of Gwen's name, and glares death into the camera.) I am going to make sure she gets what's coming to her if it's the last thing I ever do!

Gwen: I really don't know what came over me! But since it's out now, yes, I do like Duncan, and I do think he's really, really hot, and yes, I even do kind of want to take him away from Courtney, but I wasn't actually going to do that! I'd never hurt someone like that! And it really hurts that Courtney doesn't believe me. (Gwen sighs.)

Danielle: (smiling bright) Perfect! Sneaking the truth serum into Gwen's drink worked! Now Courtney won't remember what Alyssa forced me to say, so we can be friends again! Everyone's happy again!

Sierra: OK, while I was sniffing Cody's shoes under the table-oh, and Izzy, please don't tell Cody I was doing that, since I don't want him to think I'm a freak-I noticed that Danielle girl put something in Gwen's drink, and no one seemed to notice. I just know that little brat did something! Even though I'm kind of mad that Gwen could hurt Courtney like that, but there's something with that Danielle girl I don't like!

* * *

"Go away!" Rain yelled, as someone was knocking on the door, when the door suddenly opened.

"Flower delivery!" Stephanie exclaimed, as she held a bouquet of roses..

"No!" Rain yelled as she slammed the door.

"Flour delivery!" Stephanie exclaimed after opening the door again, this time holding a sack of flour.

"No!" Rain yelled, slamming the door again.

"Fire hydrant delivery!" Stephanie exclaimed after opening the door yet again, having trouble holding a fire hydrant.

"Where did you even get that?" Zoe asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Found it off a cliff," Stephanie said, as Rain slammed the door on her yet again.

"Snake!" Stephanie shouted as she slammed the door open again, and Alexis screamed. "Ha, one point for Team Moon!"

"Actually, Team Amazon already got that one, now **leave!**"

"Hi, I'm a clown!" Stephanie exclaimed as she slammed open the door again, dressed as a clown.

":No!" Rain yelled, slamming the door again.

"How about an astronaut?" Stephanie asked, this time dressed as an astronaut.

"No!" Rain yelled, losing her cool.

"Politician?"

"No!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: (strangling the air in front of her) What is **WRONG **with that girl? (Rain starts to hyperventilate.)

Stephanie: Honestly, the rapid-fire approach to finding their fears seemed easier than hunting down for clues that could be anywhere. And if the rest of my team is looking for the clues, while I'm just trying one thing after another to

* * *

"Pizza?" Stephanie asked, dressed as a slice of pizza.

"**No!**" Rain screamed, losing her cool and tossing Stephanie away before slamming the door, though the door was immediately slammed back open.

"Grandfather clock?" Stephanie asked, dressed as a grandfather clock.

"**No!**" Rain screamed again, on the verge of tears as she tossed Stephanie out again. Which did little good.

"Ceiling fan!" Stephanie exclaimed, dressed as a ceiling fan.

"I really need to go potty," Margo said, looking really uncomfortable. "Please let me go!"

Stephanie smirked as she ripped off her ceiling fan costume, revealing her normal clothes underneath. "You can use the bathroom if you tell me what you're afraid of," Stephanie said casually as Rain threw her away, though she was back in an instant yet again.

"Peanut butter on the roof of my mouth, now please, let me go!" Margo whined, feeling as if she were going insane.

"In a moment," Stephanie said, with an evil grin on her face, with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon, which she was digging into the jar.

"No, no, **no!**" Margo screamed, then started screaming incoherently as Stephanie approached.

"OK, you got the point, you got the point, that's good enough, you don't have to actually put it in her mouth!" Charlotte pleaded. "Have mercy on us all!"

"What if you're lying to me just because you don't like me?" Stephanie shouted, then darted over to Margo and stuck the peanut butter spoon in her mouth. Margo was screaming and flailing all over the lounge, knocking over the furniture.

"Fine, you definitely got a point, now go!"

"Not until I get all of your fears, too!" Stephanie yelled, sounding almost angry.

"I don't have any!" Rain shouted.

"Liar!" Stephanie yelled back. "And I'll find it even if it takes all night!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rain: Seriously, it's rare for me to feel so… so, powerless! But she wasn't intimidated by me, and even when I was physically throwing her out, she kept bouncing back as if I barely breathed on her!

Stephanie: I. Always. Win! Don't you forget that!

* * *

"I wanted to be popular," Katrina said, wiping her eyes with a tissue, sitting down next to Heather, who was trying to be comforting. "The popular kids didn't like Mallory. I don't know why."

"Neither does she," Heather said.

"But after everything we did, I don't blame Mallory for not wanting anything to do with me."

"Neither do I," Heather said.

"I'm a stronger person, now, a better person!" Katrina proclaimed, pounding her chest with her fist. "I may not have many friends anymore, but I'm also not part of a group that could do something like that." Katrina sighed. "I only wish I knew how to make it up to her. I've wanted to, but now that she's here, and I have that chance, I don't know what to do."

"It's possible," Heather said. "Mallory actually did become friends with one of her tormenters recently."

Katrina sniffled. "So there's hope."

Heather smiled. "Yes."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I really hope we can become friends, and make up for all of the things I did to her. (Katrina nervously taps her fingers together.) I was originally hoping I could make a fresh start here and leave my past in the past, but since that's not happening, I look forward to making the best of the current situation and doing what I can to show Mallory that I'm not the same girl I was all those years ago.

Heather: (rolling her eyes) And don't think for one moment that I fell for any of that bull crap Katrina was feeding me! I am going to keep a **very **close eye on Katrina.

* * *

"Danielle!" Alyssa exclaimed, rushing up to Danielle, who was sitting outside the cafeteria, with her hands propping up her head.

Danielle glared at Alyssa. "I don't want to talk to you. You put me in a really, really bad spot."

"I know, and I'm really sorry about that," Alyssa said, sitting down next to Danielle. "Look, me and the other interns had to find your fears, and most of us didn't really have a way to do that except for the truth serum. And it didn't seem to work on you, except when I threw out another question, it did."

"I'm not afraid of anything," Danielle stated. "Though there're plenty of things I dislike. Such as you."

"I'm sorry," Alyssa said, smiling slightly. "It was stupid, and I shouldn't have done it. I'll help explain it to Courtney if you like, but I didn't tell anyone, and I don't think Izzy would've told anyone, either."

Danielle sighed. "I already fixed things, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Courtney's not mad?" Alyssa asked, smiling. "That's great!"

"Oh, she's mad," Danielle said, smirking. "I just diverted that anger away from me and toward Gwen."

Alyssa blinked. "That's not really nice."

"Gwen's a bully," Danielle said. "Someone needed to take her down a peg."

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember the first season, with Heather?" Danielle asked. "She was always bullying Heather, and Lindsay, and pretty much everyone who wasn't in her clique. And she was hitting on Duncan, who she knew was already taken!"

"She wasn't hitting on Duncan," Alyssa said. "They were just friends."

"That's what she wanted everyone to think, but in reality, she wanted him so badly!"

Alyssa shrugged. "Maybe she did, and maybe she didn't. I'm sure she can control her urges, though."

"Hence, why I used the truth serum so she'd lose control of those urges and let them all out," Danielle said, oddly casually. "So now Courtney's mad at Gwen, and not me!"

Alyssa glared at Danielle. "That's a really stupid idea. What do you think Courtney's going to think when she finds out-"

"**Hey kids!**" Isis screamed, leaping in front of Alyssa, who started to scream and run away as fast as she could.

"Thank you for ruining my life," Danielle said, irritated. "I was having an important conversation with her!"

"Let me guess: it was all about you," Isis said, rolling her eyes.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Danielle said, admiring her hand. "More conversations should be about me."

"I just got Team Himalayas a point, you're welcome," Isis said, irritated.

"You're just jealous because I'm beautiful," Danielle said. "If you were beautiful, you'd understand how hard I have it. Everyone hates me just because I'm gorgeous!"

"You are so delusional!" Isis yelled. "People hate you because you're a stuck-up little rich girl who doesn't care about anyone but herself!"

"You say that like you actually care about other people," Danielle said. "You don't care about me."

Isis put a stupid expression on her face. "Golly gee, could it be because you're a stuck-up little rich girl who doesn't care about anyone but herself?"

"No, it's because I'm white," Danielle said. "I'm sorry I had the misfortune of being born the wrong color for your tastes."

Isis made a gagging motion with her finger. "Misfortune, **you? **I think not! You're the one who has it easy!"

"You don't know me at all!" Danielle yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "My life has been anything but easy! And you don't even care!"

"And you think my life's been easy?" Isis yelled.

"Of course!" Danielle yelled. "All you have to do is play the race card and you get whatever you want!"

"I don't play the race card, and believe me, it would not get me what I want if I did!" Isis yelled.

Izzy popped in between Danielle and Isis to break them apart. "Contest is over. I'll announce the results in a few minutes!" Izzy then leapt into the sky, somewhere away from the two girls.

"If we lose, it's your fault for not participating," Isis said, angry.

"No, it's your fault for interrupting the very important talk I was having with Alyssa!" Danielle shouted.

"That doesn't even make any sense," Isis said, raising an eyebrow.

"Drums pilot armchairs every National Tapioca Pudding Day!"

Isis smirked. "Surprisingly, that made more sense than saying losing would be my fault."

"Urgh!" Danielle stormed off.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Seriously, what is that girl's problem?

Isis: Seriously, what is that girl's problem?

Alexis: (shivering, and sucking her thumb) Seriously, what is that girl's problem?

Ophelia: Seriously, what is _That Girl's _problem? Does it even come on TV anymore? I miss that show.

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette were standing before the contestants, in front of the cabins, and Izzy started speaking. "In first place, getting four points, is Team Moon!"

"I would just like to mention that I, personally, earned all four of those points for my team," Stephanie said smugly.

"Thank you," Bridgette said, a bit irritated. "Our interns didn't really like you very much."

"I'm not here to make friends," Stephanie said. "Especially not with the interns! Who cares about them?"

"Well, I care," Bridgette said. "They're some nice people."

"And Rain," Izzy said under her breath. "In last place, with only one point, is Team Himalayas." Izzy shook her head. "Really, most of you were just bickering the whole time, except for Isis, who spent most of the time trying to find Alyssa, and Danielle, who… didn't really do anything constructive at all."

"I did what I needed to do," Danielle said.

"Either way, you're the losers, so tonight, one of you will be going home," Izzy said. "Ta-at for now!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Isis is tearing our team apart! Without her, we could've won this challenge! She's just totally selfish and doesn't care about anyone but herself. I'm the show's ingénue! I'm necessary!

George: I feel bad voting for Isis, but Danielle told me about all these horrible things she said to her, so… what choice do I have?

Isis: I am going to go insane if Danielle doesn't leave tonight! I just can't stand her at all! Why, why does she need to act like this?

Bob: Danielle's mean.

* * *

The members of Team Himalayas were seated in the chairs surrounding the campfire that night, all of them nervous. And some of them impatient.

"When is Izzy going to be here?" Danielle said, faking a yawn. "I really have important things I need to get back to."

"**If** you're going back," Bridgette said, standing near the podium, with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping one arm with her finger.

"If these people know what's in their best interests, I won't be leaving," Danielle said. "Isis will. Her constant racism is bringing down team morale."

Isis was motioning strangling the air in front of her. "You're the racist one!"

"See?" Danielle asked, pointing to Isis. "See? This is what I have to deal with!"

"You kind of are racist," Bridgette muttered.

"No I'm not!" Danielle shouted, looking almost scared. "I don't go around lynching people, or even wishing for anything like that!" Danielle started crying. "I just think we should all be treated as equals."

Ophelia started giggling. "Even I know you don't mean that."

Danielle pouted. "Well, of course I'm better! But if I were black, I'd still be better, too! Then maybe Isis would listen when I tell her she's being racist!"

Isis rolled her eyes. "Or if you were black, you'd understand that maybe it's not just in my head! That maybe everyone is racist!"

Danielle smirked. "Funny how Stephanie doesn't really agree with you."

"Shut up!" Isis yelled. "Stephanie just doesn't like to talk about it! I know she's hurting! I can feel it!"

"Sorry I'm late!" Izzy exclaimed as she leapt behind her podium, tossing a plate of alphabet blocks like a Frisbee to Bridgette, who didn't catch it. "I was catching up with Heather, who was just telling me non-stop about Mallory, and all the things they did on the way here, and ooh, it sounded exciting! But for now, to eliminate one of you!" Izzy pointed to Bridgette, who was picking up the alphabet blocks from the ground. "As you can see, there are… eh, **were **six alphabet blocks on this plate. As there are seven of you, one of you will not be getting an alphabet block. He or she who does not earn an alphabet block will be immediately and forcefully ejected from the island, and can never come back! **Ever!**" Izzy smiled and waved her hand dismissively to the contestant. "OK, that's like a total lie, but really, most of you aren't coming back, so I wouldn't get my hopes too high about coming back." Izzy coughed into her hand, and Bridgette popped back up, with the plate of alphabet blocks in hand. "If I call your name, please come up and collect your block."

"Ophelia."

Ophelia gasped, holding her face in her hands, as she skipped to the podium, bumping Izzy aside, and taking out a microphone, which was apparently behind the podium the whole time. Probably. "I'd like to thank all my fans for this award. All of the little people who couldn't be here tonight, and all of the Little People who I chocked on as a baby who didn't know any better, and later in life, as a teenager who did know better but still stuck them down my mouth anyway. I'd also like to thank God, who's an awesome DJ for this dance floor we call life. I'd also like to thank the nurse who's being a little bitch, and the evil clowns! I've always loved the Joker, and that harlequin… what was her name?" Ophelia shrugged. "I'd also like to thank-" Ophelia was interrupted by 'Please Don't Leave Me' playing loudly on Bridgette's mp3 player. "What, no!" Ophelia proclaimed. "I still have tons more people I need to thank!"

"Aww, I was enjoying it," Izzy said, looking down as she stood back up behind the podium. "I mean, aside from the 'push Izzy to the ground' part. And I got a cool new microphone!" Izzy tapped on the microphone. "Testing, testing, four hundred sixty-five, four hundred sixty-six!"

"Can you just deem me safe already?" Danielle asked, leaning her head in the palm of her hand.

"Just for that, no!" Izzy shouted, as she took out a Monopoly board. "OK, Bridgette, you can be any piece except for the dog or the horse, because I'm tired of you picking those every time."

"Like you don't always pick the thimble," Bridgette said.

"But the thimble's the coolest!" Izzy exclaimed. "It's the only piece that looks like what it's supposed to be! I mean, all metal silver dogs don't exist, but thimbles, it looks just like a real-life thimble, only smaller!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Why is everyone so mean to me? I don't understand it.

* * *

"Three hours later."

"Shut up, Danielle," Izzy said, glaring at Danielle as she put the Monopoly pieces back in the box. "I think thirty seconds is a new record for losing. I don't get how that happened."

Bridgette shook her head. "When you're sent to jail, that doesn't mean you lose, you know."

Izzy shrugged. "I think it was a house rule my parents used to speed the game up." Izzy started tapping her chin. "Ooh yeah, almost forgot, more alphabet blocks to give out! If I call your name, come up!" Bridgette hurriedly stood back up, picking up the plate of blocks, and going back down to pick one up that fell off the plate.

"George."

"Bob."

"Yancy."

"Ulysses."

Isis looked nervous. Danielle looked nervous as well, even though she was trying not to. "I'm obviously going to get the last block, so just call my name," Danielle said.

"We shall see," Izzy said, narrowing her eyes toward Danielle. The last person who is safe is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"There was a tie," Izzy said.

"I can beat her in any tiebreaking contest!" Danielle exclaimed, rolling a fist into the air. "Bring it on!"

"Not quite how we do things here," Izzy said. "You see, we randomly selected a contestant from another team to choose which one of you she would like to see leave, and it just so happened to be Stephanie this time."

"You are so screwed," Danielle said, grinning at Isis.

"You really don't know her very well, do you?" Isis said, sneering back, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Don't know if you noticed this, but she's black, and you're really, really racist."

"Which is why I was kind of surprised," Izzy said, a bit uncomfortable. "Isis, she voted for you to leave." Isis looked like she was in shock, while Danielle was leaping around Isis, cheering loudly. "I'm sorry, Isis."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (mockingly) Well, gee, that's a hard choice. On one hand, you have an entitled brat who insists on getting her way or she'll complain about how mean everyone's being to her… and on the other hand, you have Danielle. (Stephanie smirks.)

* * *

Isis looked like she was about to cry, but was holding back. "I should've known. Should've known that a strong, independent black woman could never win."

"Maybe if you weren't a constant Malcolm Xerox," Danielle said, rolling her eyes.

Bridgette blinked. "Does anyone have any idea what she's talking about?"

"I bet it was a crack at me," Isis said, trying harder to hold back tears. "Just press the button already, please."

Izzy nodded, then took out the remote, and pushed the button, sending Isis far into the sky.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I really do need to thank Stephanie. It's nice that there's at least one black person here who can recognize how racist Isis was being to me! She made me cry, and didn't even care!

George: I don't think I'll ever really understand why Danielle and Isis hated each other so much. Seemed like they both just hated each other from the get-go.

* * *

"You're kind of a jerk, you know," Bridgette said to Danielle.

"No, I'm nice!" Danielle insisted, stomping her foot. "I try to be nice, at least, I swear!"

Bridgette rolled her eyes as she walked over to Izzy, who was on the Dock of Shame. "And so we end with another shocking elimination," Izzy said. "I wouldn't have picked Isis, but it's not my call."

"I can't believe Stephanie wouldn't pick Danielle, really," Bridgette said.

"Well, she didn't," Izzy said, uneasy. "So… that's it, I guess. We'll probably have a more deserving elimination next time, but who can tell. So stay tuned for the next episode of _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

* * *

Heather was in the editing room, watching several screens, of footage of Katrina, while Heather was sitting in a spinning chair, resting her head on her hand, and her arm resting on the armrest. "You're up to something," Heather said, narrowing her eyes. "I won't rest until I figure it out."

* * *

Bob: Danielle  
Danielle: Isis  
George: Isis  
Isis: Danielle  
Ophelia: Ulysses  
Ulysses: Isis  
Yancy: Danielle  
Tiebreaker (Stephanie): Isis

Isis: 3 (4)  
Danielle: 3  
Ulysses: 1

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Percy, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Bob, Danielle, George, Ophelia, Ulysses, Yancy  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica  
Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis

* * *

I'm sorry, but Isis is gone. A genuinely important character, gone. I'll miss Isis, really. We'll see her in the next chapter, at least.

I'm actually very happy with this chapter! It's got that quality juggling-eight-plots-at-once feel that **Kelsica2** is the master of, and I'm, well, usually not. I think I pulled it off nicely, anyway.


	13. Total Drama Sadie

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 13: Total Drama Sadie**

There was a large audience in a large room at the Playa' des Losers. In front of the audience was a sofa in the middle of a fairly small stage, as well as four cushioned and backed bleacher-style seats on both sides of the sofa. There was a large television screen above the sofa. The audience was getting restless and impatient, talking loudly among themselves.

Before the audience started getting even more restless, though, a blonde woman dressed in red came out onto the stage, standing in the middle, and started addressing the audience. "Hello, _Total Drama _fans! I'm Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran, and I'll be your host this evening, dishing dirt on your favorite losers this season, and we've got quite the lineup for tonight!"

"Who are you?" someone from the audience shouted.

Blaineley looked toward the person as if he were an idiot. "I repeat, I am Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran, best known as the host of _Celebrity Manhunt."_

"I thought Josh hosted that," another audience member said.

"Weren't you fired from that show?" someone else from the audience asked.

Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Um, no. Idiot. I left for bigger and better things."

"Why were you fired?" another audience member asked.

"Probably because she's such a horrible person," another audience member said.

"I am not!" Blaineley yelled, then picked up a nearby camera and lifted it over her head, about to throw it. "I am the nicest person you will ever meet!" Blaineley gently put the camera back down, and smiled. "See? I could've given you brain damage just now, but I didn't." Blaineley sat down on the sofa, placing her hands on her lap, and smiling for the camera. "Tonight, we'll be talking to the first five people voted off of _Total Drama Alphabet. _Mostly people who no one's going to care about. Now, if you're watching this at home, you've no doubt seen these players in action, but our studio audience here has not, so they pretty much just picked out favorites just from looking at pictures of the contestants on our website, as well as the little blurbs about them.

"Go Danielle!" a guy in the audience shouted. "She rules!"

"Go Frederique!" a girl in the audience shouted, somewhat dreamily. "He's yummy!"

Blaineley rolled her eyes. "As you can tell, these people have, indeed, not seen the show." Blaineley took out a remote control, pushing a large button on it, which showed a chart on the television screen. "Just from looking at a small blurb and a picture, twenty-one percent of fans are pulling for Danielle-it turns out these are mostly men. Another seventeen percent want to see Frederique win, and I'm sorry to say, you will be sorely disappointed." The audience started throwing vegetables at Blaineley, who quickly took cover behind the couch. "OK, Zoe, clean this up!"

Zoe walked out from backstage, grumbling, as she started cleaning the set, while Blaineley came out from behind the couch, and pinched Zoe's cheek. "Don't forget that you are my favorite intern."

"Please stop that," Zoe grumbled.

"Touchy," Blaineley complained, then sat on the stage left side of the sofa, crossing her legs. "Now I have every reason to believe that some contestants will be returning, so cross your fingers that Frederique gets back on." Blaineley smirked. "I know I am!"

"He wasn't that nice," Zoe grumbled.

"Hey, it wasn't his fault that Xuxa and Rachel just assumed he was interested," Blaineley said, then took out a mirror and lipstick, and started applying it. "Someone like Frederique needs someone more mature."

"What are you, like, fifty?" Zoe asked, smirking.

"Twenty-nine, thank you very much," Blaineley stated.

"I could've sworn you were thirty, actually," Zoe said, grinning.

"That birthday never happened!" Blaineley shouted, turning red.

"I'm just saying what I heard on _Celebrity Manhunt," _Zoe said. "You know, after you were fired."

"That show was nothing but lies!" Blaineley shouted.

"Maybe when you were host," Zoe said.

"The stage is clean enough, now leave!" Blaineley demanded, angrily pointing to the exit.

"Touchy," Zoe said, grinning as she walked off the stage.

Blaineley dusted off her hands. "Now, as the host of _Total Drama Blaineley, _it will be my pleasure to interview the five contestants who have unfortunately lost." The screen above Blaineley turns on and shows a _Total Drama Sadie _logo. Blaineley notices it and slaps her face in frustration. "OK, I have no idea why that's there, or why anyone would name this special after that disgusting slob, but you don't have to worry about it, for I, the incredible Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran, am the actual host for the special, and we are ready for the first guest." Blaineley put a serious face on. "He complained a lot, didn't get along with anyone on his team, Ophelia in particular, and that's about it, really, give it up-or not, I don't care-to Leanne Ann Grump!"

There were a few stray applause from the audience, though Leanne wasn't coming out onto the stage. After several seconds, some screaming could be heard from backstage.

"You can't make me! I won't do it!"

"I think that's Leanne now," Blaineley said. Shortly after, Zoe was dragging out Leanne, who had been tied up, and Zoe sat Leanne down on the lower set of bleacher-style seats on the left side of the stage, then she left. Leanne didn't look happy at all.

"I'll sue!" Leanne yelled. "You can't force me to do this!"

"I'm pretty sure we can," Blaineley said. "I mean, I didn't read these contracts, but I'm sure Courtney was careful in writing these up."

"You can't make me answer anything!" Leanne yelled. "You can't make me talk!"

"I'm betting you won't be able to resist telling your side of the story, though," Blaineley said, rolling her eyes. "According to the preliminary polls, you're the least popular contestant this season, with exactly zero votes on the website for the show."

"They will respect me more when they see my skills on the show!" Leanne yelled.

"I'll bet," Blaineley said, raising an eyebrow. "What 'skills' would these have been, exactly?" Blaineley asked, finger-quoting the word 'skills.'

"Everything!" Leanne yelled. "I can do anything!"

"Well call me, beep me, if you want to tell me what 'anything' includes," Blaineley said.

"Everything!" Leanne yelled. "Which part of 'everything' does your stupid little blonde mind not comprehend?"

"Well this is going well," Blaineley said, rolling her eyes. "Can you be a little more specific, though?"

"Why should I?" Leanne yelled. "You don't respect me!"

"What was your first clue?" Blaineley asked, then yawned.

"You don't deserve to know the real me!" Leanne yelled.

"Do you really have to keep yelling, Yosemite Samantha?" Blaineley asked. "We can hear you quite fine if you speak in a normal volume."

"And stop that!" Leanne yelled. "I am not a girl! I am a man!"

"I know," Blaineley said, smirking. "I just don't like you."

"Would you like it if I called you a boy?" Leanne asked.

"Yes," Blaineley said, grinning. "Yes I would."

"**Shut up!**" Leanne screamed, turning red.

"You are incredibly easy to set off, you know that?" Blaineley asked.

"Just shut up, already!" Leanne yelled.

"I'd rather not," Blaineley said. "Now could you tell me anything about your home life?"

"No!" Leanne yelled. "That's none of your business!"

"Actually, it is," Blaineley said, smirking. "We know all about your home life." Blaineley shrugged. "But since it was completely boring and mundane, and no one in your home town was really interested in talking about you, except to say that you have absolutely no friends, and since I'd like to get this over with, I won't press the issue."

"Thank goodness," Leanne said, still clearly angry.

Blaineley started grinning. "So, what's the deal with you and Ophelia?"

"I despite the wench," Leanne said, quieter and more sinister than he'd been speaking before, glaring at Blaineley.

"So you have a crush on her," Blaineley said, smirking once more.

"**I do NOT have a crush on that… that thing!**" Leanne screamed. Blaineley had a big smile on her face as she took out a remote, and pushed a button, which put Ophelia on the screen above.

"Hi, Leanne!" Ophelia cheered.

"Don't talk to me!" Leanne yelled.

Ophelia tapped her chin, then shrugged. "I think I will, anyway. You're so cute, there!" Ophelia face a funny face into the camera, and looked as if she were pinching the camera as if it had a cheek. "Oh yes you are, oh yes you are! Who's a good girl? You're a good girl!"

"I am not a girl!" Leanne yelled., trying to butt bounce away, but just wound up falling on his side.

"Yes, you are a girl," Ophelia said, shaking her head. "You really should just accept the fact already. Anyway, Izzy asked me to prerecord a message for you to show in the _Total Drama Sadie _show that you're a part of."

"Prerecord?" Leanne yelled. "But you're talking directly to me!"

Ophelia grinned. "And yes, it is prerecorded, but you're so predictable, I can answer every question you ask Come on, try me!"

"Why do you treat me so horribly?" Leanne yelled.

"Because I don't like you," Ophelia said, smirking. "Poor predictable, unlikable Leanne." Ophelia shook her head. "Tsk, tsk. Well, byesies!" The television screen turned off.

"I can see the sparks already," Blaineley said, smirking.

"She's lucky she's not here right now, or I'd show her what for!" Leanne yelled.

"Well, this is your lucky day!" Blaineley exclaimed, as Ophelia walked onto the stage, wearing boxing gloves. "We thought it might be fun to give you a chance to get your revenge?"

"Are you daft?" Leanne yelled. "I can't fight her! I'm all tied up!"

Blaineley rolled her eyes, then went over to untie Leanne, while Zoe brought out a pair of boxing gloves.

"This is a stupid idea," Zoe said. "I'm only going along with this because I don't like Leanne either."

"Don't care," Blaineley said, as Leanne was standing up, wearing his boxing gloves, while Ophelia was on the other side of the stage, bobbing up and down, trying to look serious, though she kept letting smiles sneak out.

Blaineley took out a bell and hammer. "When I hit the bell, you two fight it out!" Blaineley hit the bell, and sat down and watched, smiling big.

"Just so you know, I have no qualms about hitting a girl!" Leanne yelled.

"Doesn't bother us," Blaineley said, smirking. "Audience loves catfights!"

Leanne grumbled to himself, while Ophelia took out a bottle of Coca-Cola, and started drinking it. "Makes me stronger."

"Don't care!" Leanne yelled, but Ophelia bounced back to the other side of the stage, glaring at Leanne, then quickly charged him and uppercut him, knocking him to the ground.

"And Ophelia wins!" Blaineley exclaimed, as she popped up next to Ophelia, pulling her arm toward the ceiling.

"You know, you seem nicer in person," Ophelia said, drinking more of her Coca-Cola. "Back on _Celebrity Manhunt, _you seemed so horrible and cruel, and-"

"No idea what you're talking about, honey," Blaineley said.

"And where's Sadie, anyway?" Ophelia asked. "It seems odd for this thing to be called _Total Drama Sadie _when there's no sign of Sadie."

"I don't know and don't care where the fat girl is," Blaineley said. "She's probably stuffing her face with food."

"OK, maybe you're not nicer in person," Ophelia said, scratching her head with her boxing glove, which spilled soda in her hair.

"Look, that's nice, but we have a show to run, and we don't need you here anymore," Blaineley said, violently shoving Ophelia off the stage, and there was a crash that sounded like Ophelia had just crashed into a tower of soup cans.

"Ow," Ophelia said. "What a lousy place to stack soup cans."

"Honestly, I have no clue how those got there," Blaineley said, confused.

"Oh, I put them there," Ophelia said. "Just that, in hindsight, it wasn't the best idea I ever had."

Blaineley rolled her eyes, while Zoe brought out a small bag to Blaineley. "How about some letters?" Blaineley asked.

"I hate letters!" Leanne yelled.

"Good thing you don't get a say in this," Blaineley said, as she took a letter-the only letter-out of the bag. "You only have one letter, so this won't take long."

"I hate that person for writing to me!" Leanne yelled.

Blaineley opened the envelope and took out the letter inside. "Here's a letter from Daisy." Blaineley cleared her throat. "Dear Leanne, I hate you! You sound like you're going to suck! I want the old contestants back!"

"She sounds like she sucks!" Leanne yelled.

"She probably does," Blaineley said. "Most fans do, but it doesn't mean she said anything untrue in there."

"Now can I leave?" Leanne yelled.

"Contractually, you're obligated to stay until this show is over."

"Hmph!" Leanne crossed his arms over his chest.

"You do need to move over to make room for our next guest, though," Blaineley said, waving her hand over to the other side of his seat.

"And you need to leave, too," Sadie said, walking in from the right side of the stage. "I would've told you to leave sooner, but I really didn't want to talk to him," Sadie said, looking disgusted as she pointed to Leanne.

"Now, I know you're a little dim, so I'll explain this slowly," Blaineley said patronizingly. "Chris gave this show to me. For me to host. Not you, but me. So please go away, because no one really wants to see your big ugly butt sullying the cameras."

"But Izzy gave this show to Katie!" Sadie yelled, getting angry, throwing her arms into the air. "Her prize for winning last season!"

"OK, two things, sweetheart," Blaineley said as she started counting on her fingers. "One, you aren't Katie, so no one cares. And two, I don't care what Izzy promised Katie, since Chris, and not Izzy, is in the position to decide who gets to host this."

"Chris was fired," Sadie said, smirking.

"Um, no, he got promoted to producer," Blaineley said. "It was a big story on _Celebrity Manhunt."_

"I'm surprised you'd still watch that," Katie said, smirking as she walked out over to Katie. "You know, after the big scandal where they-"

"Those were lies and they knew it!" Blaineley shouted. "Chris showed me a tape of the interview himself! Izzy never had a right to promise you this show!"

"OK, I'm here!" Izzy exclaimed, swinging down from one of the lights on the ceiling, which came crashing to the ground as Izzy leapt off. "Noah called and said there was a-hey, you're Mildred!" Izzy exclaimed, looking to Blaineley.

Blaineley's eye twitched. "I have no idea who you're talking about."

"Oh, right, 'Blaineley,'" Izzy said, using finger quotes around her name. "Why are you here, anyway? Katie and Sadie have a show to do."

"I was promised this show by Chris," Blaineley said, smirking as she took out a contract. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."

Izzy shook her head. "Chris was fired. This contract is worthless."

"He was promoted to producer for the show," Blaineley said. "I saw the interview myself."

Izzy shook her head as she took out her cell phone, and dialed. "Hello, Penelope? Yeah, I've got someone here, says Chris gave her a spot on the show?" Izzy nodded. "Yes, can you talk to her? She doesn't believe Chris was fired." Izzy nodded. "OK, thanks!" Izzy handed the phone to Blaineley, then dragged her off stage. "You can ask the head honcho yourself."

Katie and Sadie, still on stage, looked to each other, then shrugged. "I guess we're hosting, now?" Sadie asked.

"Yes!" Katie exclaimed. "Noah, come on out!" After waiting a few seconds, Katie walked off the stage, then immediately returned, dragging Noah behind her. "We need you!"

"I can't wait," Noah stated, rolling his eyes as Katie plopped him on the stage right side of the sofa, while Sadie sat down on the left, and Katie in between.

"It'll be fun!" Katie exclaimed, then kissed Noah's cheek, then started caressing his opposite shoulder. "Besides, we need a smart guy here!"

"Yes, we need a smart guy!" Sadie exclaimed. "And you're, like, the smartest guy we know!"

Noah looked proud of himself. "What can I say? When you're right, you're right."

"I totally knew that would work!" Katie exclaimed.

"I swear, you're more bloody annoying than the old woman!" Leanne yelled.

"There was a reason I told Sadie to let Blaineley interview you before we stepped in," Katie said.

"It was pretty nervy, though," Sadie said. "Trying to steal our little show! Who did she think she was?"

"Blaineley, I'm guessing," Noah said. "I lost count of how many times she mentioned her ridiculous name."

"I can't believe she tried to take our show, though!" Katie said in disbelief.

"Well, if Chris led her to believe that she would get to host this show-" Noah started.

"She was obviously lying about that," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, like, totally obvious," Sadie agreed.

"She's just desperate to be on TV again since she was fired from _Celebrity Manhunt."_

Sadie shuddered. "She doesn't deserve to be on TV after what she did!"

"Like, I know!" Katie agreed. "I can't believe she did that!"

"Oh, I know!" Sadie exclaimed.

"I don't really care," Noah said. "Can we move this show along?"

"Oh, sorry," Sadie said, then giggled. "Our next guest didn't do a whole lot, but he was a bit of a smart alec, and he was kind of creepy around Candice."

"She was kind of asking for it, though," Katie said. "I mean, did you see how she dressed?"

"Um, did you see how **you **dress?" Noah asked, pointing out Katie's sleeve.

"That's different," Katie said, shooing Noah's hand away. "This isn't a bikini top."

"Yeah, totally not a bikini top," Sadie agreed.

"The next contestant?" Noah asked, shaking his head in the palm of his hand.

"Oh yeah, the next contestant!" Sadie exclaimed, perking up. "Please welcome Walter Geoffrey Albertson!"

Walter walked over to his seat and sat down. "I assure you, you needn't address me by my entire name."

Sadie's face contorted, while Katie was holding her nose. "Ever hear of a shower?" Noah asked, waving his hand in front of his nose.

"You'll adjust to the scent," Walter said.

"Frankly, that frightens me," Noah said.

Sadie vomited, right in Walter's lap, who just shrugged. "Not the first time that's happened," he said, as he just wiped it off with his hand."

"OK, that's just sick," Katie said, contorting her own face.

"You get used to it," Walter said.

"No, we don't," Katie said.

"Now Walter, you were the second person voted off," Sadie said. "I'm a little disappointed, really."

"I would have preferred not to have been the second person voted off, too," Walter said.

"I mean, you act like a stereotypical fat person!" Sadie shouted. "I have it bad enough without someone like you reminding people that all overweight people are horrible to be around!"

"But unlike you, I have actual intelligence," Walter said. "I can coast on that."

"I'm not stupid!" Sadie yelled.

Katie scowled at Walter, then looked comforting to Sadie. "You want me to handle him?"

Sadie nodded as she was tearing up. "Yes."

"OK," Katie said, cracking her knuckles.

"I requested to be interviewed by Gwen," Walter said. "I ask thee where she is."

"She said no," Katie said. "You kinda' creep her out."

"Typical," Walter said. "A typical sizist attitude for a thin person to have."

"Or she just doesn't like you," Noah said, rubbing his forehead. "Get over it."

"And seriously, bathe!" Katie said. "After this show is over, OK?"

"I have better things to do with my time," Walter said.

"Like?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's for me to know," Walter answered.

"In other words, you don't feel like it, gotcha'," Katie muttered. "Anyway, how did it feel to be the second person voted out?"

"Like a bowl of daisies," Walter said. "I'm thrilled that my female teammates-and they're very barely female-"

"Don't push it," Katie said, getting irritated.

"Well, they decided that I needed to be voted off, for inconceivable reasons."

"You were trying to vote off Katrina," Katie said.

"She was useless," Walter said. "And, in case you haven't been paying attention-or you're just too stupid to figure it out-she's apparently evil as well."

"OK, you really need to stop talking," Noah said. "I really don't care how supposedly evil Katrina is or not, but you will not continue with this 'Katie is stupid' shtick."

"I have nothing to fear from you," Walter said. "I may not be strong, but I'm well aware that you couldn't take me on."

"What are you-I'm aware of that!" Noah shouted. "I was talking about Katie!"

"That puny nobody?" Walter asked, then laughed for a moment.

"Rawr!" Katie yelled, pouncing on Walter, knocking him to the ground, wrestling with him, and winning, though Walter wasn't even trying to fight back, but was instead grinning.

"Rawr?" Sadie asked. "Really, 'rawr,' Katie?"

Noah's eyes went wide. "Katie, get off!"

Katie turned her head back to Noah. "But I'm-"

"You're turning him on!"

"Eep!" Katie shrieked as she instantly leapt into Noah's lap, looking freaked out.

Walter picked himself up off the ground and went back to his seat. "As I was saying, she's not very intelligent." Walter shook his head. "You deserve better, Noah."

Noah shook his head. "No, I deserve Katie."

"Aww!" Katie cooed, then wrapped her arms and legs around Noah, who begrudgedly allowed it, but then smirked.

"Just interview him already and get this over with!" Leanne yelled, with his arms crossed over his chest. "You should have just let that horrid Blake or whatever her name was continue this!"

"In retrospect, we should have waited for Candice," Katie said. "What's done is done, though, so let's continue. What's life like at home?"

"I tolerate it out of necessity," Walter said. "My parents are imbeciles, and are often in dire need of a tongue-lashing. I do very well in school, though the students and teachers are all jealous of my vast intellect."

"The teachers?" Katie asked, contorting her face a bit.

"Naturally," Walter said. "When my nigh endless intelligence gets me a job that gets me millions, they will be jealous that they're getting a mere pittance."

"Yes, they're clearly jealous," Noah said. "That's obviously why they don't like you."

"I figured you would be the one person to understand my unfortunate position," Walter said. Noah's eye twitched.

"I'm a little tired of talking to you, really," Katie said. "Zoe, I'm ready for Walter's fan mail!"

"It's nice to know I have some people who can appreciate me," Walter said, as Zoe handed Katie a small bag, and Katie took out a small remote.

"But before we get to the fan mail, we have a special gift for you!" Katie exclaimed, then smirked as she pressed a button on her remote, and immediately water came gushing from the ceiling, onto Walter, drenching him.

"What was that?" Walter yelled, angry.

"Six hundred gallons of genuine Niagra Falls," Katie said, grinning mischievously.

Sadie looked up, squeed, then glomped Katie. "That was, like, so awesome!"

"I know!" Katie exclaimed, glomping back.

"Eeeiii!" the two girls squeed together, with Noah holding his ears.

"What's with the water?" Walter complained.

"We were going to give you a bath whether you needed one or not!" Katie exclaimed, grinning.

"Whether he wanted one or not," Noah said, with his head in the palm of his hand.

"Or what he said," Katie said, pointing her thumb toward Noah. Katie then took two envelopes out of her bag. "Not a whole lot of fan mail."

"Well, the show hasn't aired yet," Noah said. "All of the fan mail they're getting so far is just from the blurbs on the website."

"Which tells you everything you need to know about us, anyway," Walter said. "I am curious to see how intelligent those who desire to write me are."

"Somehow, I suspect you don't really care," Katie said, as she opened one of the two envelopes, and pulled out the letter inside. "Here's a letter from Scott. Dear Walter, you need to go on a diet. Wow, you're fat!"

"It's his loss for judging me by physical appearances," Walter said. "If he knew the real me, he would surely be in awe of me."

"No, if he knew the real you, he'd like you less," Katie said.

"No, you don't care about the real me," Walter said. "You despise me for my weight."

"Have you ever met my BFFFL?" Katie asked in disbelief.

"Tagging along with her so you can be the so-called pretty one by comparison, I'm sure," Walter said.

"No, we really do care about each other!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Sadie.

"Yeah, we do!" Sadie yelled, getting irritated.

"Whatever you say," Walter said.

"You complain too much!" Leanne yelled.

"You would be the expert on that," Noah said, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up!" Leanne yelled.

"We still have another letter!" Katie exclaimed, waving the envelope high in the air, then lowered it and opened the envelope, removing the letter from inside. "Here's a letter from Charmin!"

"That's not a real name," Walter said. "What kind of idiot is named after toilet paper?"

"I'm sure Charmin will appreciate that sentiment," Katie muttered, then turned to the letter. "Hi Walter! You sound cool, and unappreciated in real life. I'm rooting for you, though! Show the rest of Canada that looks don't matter! Sincerely, Charmin." Katie shook her head. "Well, I'm pretty sure you blew that one."

"She wasn't good enough for me," Walter said. "I deserve someone better than that."

"Better than what?" Katie yelled. "Better than someone named Charmin? You don't even know what she looks like!"

"I don't need to," Walter said. "Her name says it all."

"That's like… like, namism!" Katie shouted.

"No it isn't," Walter said.

Noah put his hand on Katie's shoulder, shaking his head. "Yeah, it really isn't."

"Oh," Katie said, putting her head down. "I still don't like it."

"No one else does, either," Noah said, patting Katie's back while glaring at Walter.

"Are you through with me now?" Walter asked. "I'd like to go back to my room if you're done with me."

"We're done with the interview, yes, but you're contractually obligated to stay until this show is over," Katie said.

Walter grumbled. "This is ridiculous."

"Yeah, we don't care," Katie said, then turned to Sadie. "You want to take over again, for Candice?"

Walter perked up. "I think I can manage to tolerate being here."

"Well aren't you lovely," Katie muttered.

"No, he's not really lovely at all," Sadie said, confused. Noah slapped his face in frustration. "Anyway, our next contestant was really sweet, and seemed to really do good in the show, but just made some enemies, because people didn't like what she looked like."

"I think the other girls were just jealous," Katie said, grinning. "She had it going on!"

"Oh, I know!" Sadie exclaimed, and the two girls squeed together.

"Would you cut out that racket?" Leanne yelled.

"Eeeiii!" the two girls squeed again. Then again. And again.

"**Stop that bloody racket!**"

"We like annoying you," Katie said, with a mischievous grin, and the two girls started squeeing again.

"OK, look, I don't blame you for wanting to do this to him, but I'm being tortured by this, too!" Noah shouted.

"Oh, sorry," Katie said, then kissed Noah's cheek. "I guess we did kinda' overdo it."

"Yes, you did," Noah stated.

"Well, I like the next contestant, anyway!" Sadie exclaimed. "She was here to judge one of the challenges last season, and she did a good job this season, and could've even won the race if Stephanie didn't interfere." Sadie shuddered. "Stephanie's so mean, I swear!"

"I know, like, some nerve she had," Katie said.

"Oh, I know," Sadie said. "It's like, who does she think she is?"

"I know!" Katie exclaimed, waving her hand.

"I know, I know, can you stop knowing everything now?" Noah asked.

Katie looked to Sadie nervously. "You better move on. Noah's getting cranky."

"I think you're right," Sadie said. "Anyway, give it up for our next guest, Candice Candace Kane!"

"Is that really her middle name?" Katie asked, surprised.

Walter moved over, pushing Leanne off the seat, while Candice sat down.

"Hello? You just knocked me over!" Leanne yelled.

"No one cares," Katie said. "Move to the top if you want a seat." Leanne grumbled as he made his way to the top row of seats.

"It's so nice to have you here," Sadie said to Candice, who looked nervous, holding her hands in her lap.

"No it's not," Katie said. "If she's here, then she lost. That's not a good thing!"

"Oh, yeah," Sadie said, then looked down. "I'm sorry you have to be here."

Candice shrugged. "I'm over it. It was a nice dream while it lasted, at least."

"But you totally deserved to win!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Like, totally!" Katie exclaimed.

"Like, totally," Noah stated, weakly motioning his hand in a circle.

Katie playfully slapped Noah. "Shut up, you." Katie turned back to Candice. "You might still win, though, don't give up! You'll eventually get a chance to get back in the game!"

"What about not being able to ever return, ever?" Candice asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No one really believes it, and we're not even going to pretend that's for real," Sadie said, waving off the question. "Really, you should totally win!"

"Totally!" Katie exclaimed.

"No she shouldn't have!"

"Um, who was that?" Sadie asked, not knowing where the voice was coming from.

"It's Blaineley," Blaineley said, walking onto the stage, disgusted. "If you're going to rob me of getting to host this show, the least you can do is get it right!"

"What are you talking about?" Sadie asked, confused.

"She's a slut!" Blaineley shouted. "She doesn't deserve to win!" Candice ducked her head down, embarrassed.

"OK, can you not do that?" Katie asked. "She feels bad enough that she used to be a horrible person."

"That's going to make her feel better," Noah said.

"That's not what I meant!" Katie shouted. "I meant that Candice used to be a horrible person, but now she isn't!"

"I was never horrible," Candice said, looking hurt.

"Oh, you weren't?" Katie asked. "I thought you used to be a slut, or something."

"I wasn't ever mean, though," Candice said. "I always tried to be nice. I mean, I ain't proud of sleeping with everyone, but I was always as nice as could be."

"Aww, I'm sorry Katie said those awful things to you," Sadie said, walking over to hug Candice.

"Hey, you were thinking the same thing!" Katie shouted.

"Well, duh, but I didn't say them out loud," Sadie said, not really noticing Candice right there.

"And people think I'm heartless," Blaineley said, shaking her head.

"What are you still doing here?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. "You really should be leaving."

"Hey, someone needs to run the show," Blaineley said.

"Yes," Noah said. "Katie and Sadie. Not you." Noah looked off-stage. "Rain!"

"Come on, we can work together, right?" Blaineley asked. Rain then walked onto the stage and started dragging Blaineley away. "But this show needs me! I can offer legal-age sex appeal for this show!"

"So can Candice," Noah said, smirking.

"Come on, let me stay! Please?" Blaineley shouted, as she was thrown off the stage, and it sounded like she'd crashed into the soup cans.

"You know, she kind of reminds me of Bridgette," Candice said. "I mean, she looks like she could be Bridgette's older sister. Definitely not as nice as Bridgette."

"You like Bridgette, don't you?" Sadie asked, sitting back on the sofa once more.

"Oh, yes!" Candice exclaimed. "She's so sweet, and so caring, and so much closer to perfection than anyone else."

"She isn't really perfect, you know," Katie said. "I mean, she's closer than me-I didn't want to brag-but she-"

"She's not perfect, I know," Candice said, still smiling while she twiddled her thumbs. "She was a little suspicious of me, not sure about the whole slut thing, worried about my dress, but she's accepted me for who I am. I couldn't stay mad at her!" Candice chuckled to herself. "Or even get mad in the first place, really."

"Do you have a crush on her?" Katie asked, grinning mischievously.

"Not really," Candice said. "I'm not really looking, though, and besides, Bridgette's got Geoff, and I wouldn't want to get between them." Candice sighed. "I'd be open to it if the opportunity arose, though."

"That… was not the answer I was expecting," Katie said.

"I'm tired of being used by boys," Candice said, resting her head on her hand. "Maybe girls would work out better? I don't know, really. I have an open mind."

"I, for one, completely approve of you making out with another girl," Walter said, grinning. "I think you should make out with Danielle."

"I don't know," Candice said. "I mean, sure, Danielle can be nice sometimes, but she can also be pretty judgmental and mean."

Noah blinked. "She actually took his request at face value."

"Candice, sweetie," Katie said, a bit nervous, "you do know Walter just said that because he thinks it would be hot to see you and Danielle making out."

"Oh," Candice said, turning a bit red in embarrassment. "Still, Danielle might be nice after we get to know each other better."

"I'm kinda' doubting that," Katie said.

"Really, she's not so bad," Candice said. "I mean, she's not the nicest person ever, and she does think rather highly of herself, but she's also got this really sweet side." Candice rested her head in her hands. "She's hurting. I can't stay mad at her."

"It's not that hard," Katie muttered.

"Really, I'd like to see Danielle win," Candice said, then looked down. "Or maybe Katrina."

"Katrina?" Katie asked.

"I mean, don't get me wrong! I know she's like super rich, and doesn't really need more money, but I just know she'd use it for a good cause, and she's just so sweet, and I really wish I could've been on the same team as her and gotten to know her."

"She's not that nice," Walter said.

Candice sighed. "Look, I understand that she wasn't always nice-we all saw the footage with her and Mallory-but people change. And I'd love to have gotten to know her."

"Besides, you just think she's ugly," Sadie said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, you just think she's ugly," Katie agreed.

"Yes, listen to the echo," Noah said. Walter rolled his eyes.

"Candice, early on, you and Isis didn't get along too well," Sadie said. "And then, later on, you were you BFFFLs!"

"I don't really blame her," Candice said, putting her hands in her pants pockets, which were in the front for a change. "Well, not entirely. I understand she was suspicious because I'm white, and for that, I don't blame her."

"Yes, we wouldn't want to blame the racist for being racist," Walter said.

Candice rolled her eyes. "Did you ever think that maybe there's a reason she's wary around white people?"

"If she were white, and we were black, people would call her a racist for being wary of us," Walter said. "It's the same thing, but reversed here."

"You're an idiot," Candice said, irritated.

"Not to be rude," Katie interrupted, "but it kinda' sounded like he had a point."

"Just wait before you judge, OK?" Candice asked, smiling. "It's not really my place to talk about why she feels the way she does. But her calling me a slut stung, and that isn't really something she had an excuse for."

"And you're not one anymore, right?" Katie asked.

"Yes, but it wouldn't have been appropriate, anyway," Candice said. "If I'm hurting myself, how does shaming me help me at all?"

"I dunno'," Katie said. "Maybe you'd stop?"

"It's not that simple," Candice said. "All it ever did was make me feel bad. I wanted to stop because it wasn't good for my own well being. It really shouldn't have been everyone else's business who I did or didn't sleep with."

"I'm sorry," Katie said, tearing up, along with Sadie. "I'd hate to think I was being mean to someone like you."

"Not just nice people," Candice said. "Even if someone isn't nice, it's just not nice to make fun for them for sleeping around. It really hurts."

Katie smiled. "I'll try."

"Thank you," Candice said. "My sister, Candace isn't in a good place."

"Candice?" Sadie asked, confused. "You and your sister have the same name?"

Candice laughed a bit. "Not quite. I'm C-A-N-D-I-C-E Candice. My sister is C-A-N-D-A-C-E Candace. And yes, we both hate how our parents gave us almost identical names."

"It seems like that'd be confusing," Sadie said. "Like, if your Mom said 'Candice, get here this instant,' who would come running?"

"Both of us," Candice said. "If one of us was in trouble, both of us were."

"What about Isis, though?" Katie asked. "You said you didn't like her calling you a slut, but you seem close to her, now."

"Oh, we are!" Candice exclaimed, almost giddy. "She's such a beautiful person, and she's realized she was wrong for calling me a slut. She's had it hard, though. I can't stay mad at her."

"That's nice," Katie said, smiling. "What about your sister? Can you tell us about Candace, Candice? You sound close."

"Oh, we were," Candice said, tearing up a little. "She was the best! My sister is five years older than me, and practically raised me." Candice wiped a tear from her eye. "My parents didn't really care that I existed, but she was always there." Candice sighed. "I guess it's not too hard to believe that we wound up getting into the life that we did. I was sleeping around, yes, but my sister's into prostitution and drugs, now, and… I really wanted to get help for her." Candice blew her nose into her hand, disgusting Leanne, Katie, and Noah. Katie quickly got her a hand sanitizing wipe. "Sorry about that," Candice said. "I was really hoping I could win the million dollars to help her. And, well, me too, since I really wanted to get a new life for myself. Right now I'm stuck, though, and I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back home."

Sadie glomped Candice, bawling her eyes out. "I'm so, so sorry!"

"It's not your fault," Candice said, patting Sadie's back.

"But it's so sad," Sadie cried out, still latching on to Candice.

"Yeah, it is pretty sad," Katie agreed, crying as well, though Noah was simply looking bored. Katie soon noticed, then elbowed Noah.

"Oh, yeah, it is sad," Noah said. "I just don't get as emotional."

"It's OK," Katie said, kissing Noah's cheek again. "I forgive you for feeling you need to bottle up your emotions." Noah rolled his eyes.

"What's with the bikini?" Katie asked, then pointed to her midriff. "Not that I personally see it as a problem, but it is kinda' odd."

"It's comfortable," Candice said. "I got used to wearing it, and I just got comfortable with it. And I don't have a whole lot of money for more clothes, anyway."

"Too many clothes get too hot, so I agree," Sadie said. "In fact, sometimes I wish I could just take it all off, and enjoy the breeze, and-"

"Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't do it!" Leanne yelled.

"I wasn't going to," Sadie said. "Though you do make it tempting."

"Don't listen to him," Katie said, lightly hugging Sadie. "You're beautiful."

"Aww, thank you!" Sadie exclaimed, hugging back. "You're more beautiful, though."

"Well, duh," Katie said, as if it were obvious. "But that's not the point."

"Why is this called _Total Drama Sadie, _anyway?" Candice asked. "I mean, it's nice that Sadie's getting some attention, but what about you, Katie?"

"Izzy wanted to give me her old show after she became the host, since I won and all, and I love gossip!" Katie exclaimed. "I insisted on the name. Wanted to honor my BFFFL!"

"Katie wouldn't let me argue," Sadie said, smiling bright.

"And I insisted Noah be here too," Katie said. "We needed a straight man, after all."

"Lucky me," Noah said, rolling his hand in the air, feigning excitement.

"I really hope things get better for you and your sister," Katie said, smiling sweetly. "You deserve it."

"Thank you," Candice said, smiling back.

"Mail time!" Katie exclaimed, as Zoe brought out a huge sack of letters.

"That many people like me?" Candice asked, looking happy.

"No one's seen the show yet," Katie said. "They're pretty much judging you on just a short blurb and a picture on the website. Most of these letters are just from guys who want to do things with you, or girls who feel you should burn in Hell."

"How pleasant," Candice said, tapping her fingers on her seat.

"There're a few nice ones in here, though," Sadie said, as she took out an envelope marked with a check mark, and opened it to remove the letter inside. "This one's from Candace."

"Another-oh, it's Candace with an a instead of an i," Katie said, looking over Sadie's shoulder.

Sadie smiled. "Anyway, Candace writes dear Candice, I've been in your situation, and I know it can be hard. Don't let anyone get you down, and I hope you can win!"

"Aww, I like her," Katie said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Aww, me too," Sadie said, as the two hugged each other and then "awwed" together.

"Thank you, other Candace," Candice said, then laughed a bit. "I appreciate it, really."

Sadie then composed herself and took out another envelope with a check mark on it. "This one's from Stacy. Dear Candice, I hope you're not ashamed of what you've done. I don't know your exact situation, but there's nothing wrong with sex. I love it, and guys are allowed to enjoy it without being labeled. Why do we get called sluts, when guys get called heroes? It isn't fair, but screw them! Or don't screw them. I prefer screwing the nicer guys out there, really. Whatever you do, though, I hope you're putting yourself first."

"I'm confused," Katie said. "Should I agree with her, or not agree with her?"

"Agree with her," Candice said, wearing a warm smile. "Some of these people are really sweet, and she's right, really. If I were a guy, no one would think less of me."

"But you're not a guy, so no one cares," Walter said. "If you don't want to be treated like scenery, then don't dress like it."

"Can I hit him?" Candice asked, irritated. "I'd really like to hit him."

Sadie shrugged. "Fine with me."

"Hey," Walter whined, "if I were the girl and you were the guy, no one would allow that!"

"The only reason I'm not doing it is because I know you'd enjoy it if I did," Candice said, grinning. Walter started grumbling to himself.

"She is pretty sharp," Noah said.

"You didn't have to use the word 'pretty,'" Katie said. "But we do have… well, actually, Sadie, why don't you tell her?"

"Oh, right, we have a special guest!" Sadie exclaimed, but almost immediately looked guilty. "We tried to get your sister to come, but she wasn't really in a good place, and we felt it wouldn't be good to bring her here on television, but we are helping her get clean right now."

"I really hope she makes it!" Katie exclaimed.

"But we did get a special guest to come… even though you saw her pretty recently anyway, but we knew you'd like to see her again, please welcome Bridgette!" Bridgette walked onto the stage, waving to the audience, then opening her arms as she approached Candice.

"Eeeiii!" Candice squeed, as she rushed over to glomp Bridgette, who looked content. "I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy to see you again!"

"You too," Bridgette said, wearing a warm smile. The two girls then sat down together where Candice was sitting before. Bridgette then looked a bit guilty. "I'm sorry that I-"

"You already apologized," Candice said, lightly hugging Bridgette. "It's OK. No one's perfect."

"I feel bad about it, though," Bridgette said, looking down at her feet.

"You're such an amazing person, really," Candice said. "You're so sweet, and caring, and so close to perfection!"

"I'm not that good," Bridgette said, a bit embarrassed. "I'm human, just like anyone else."

"I'd totally go vegetarian if I could afford it," Candice said. "I just really can't afford it."

"It's OK, really," Bridgette said. "You don't have to do that just to please me."

"It's not that," Candice said. "It's just that you're so kind and caring and everything, that if you don't eat meat, maybe I should look at myself, and ask myself if I really need it."

"Well, that's good," Bridgette said. "I just hope you don't want to do it only because I am."

"Don't worry," Candice said, smiling. "Can't afford it now, anyway."

"You might still win," Bridgette said. "I mean, if there's a chance you can come back, anyway. I can neither confirm nor deny that there's going to be a second chance later on." Bridgette smiled brightly. "But good luck in case there is!"

"Thank you," Candice said, smiling.

"Are you busy, Bridgette?" Katie asked.

"I can stay here for a while," Bridgette said, shrugging. "The contestants have the day off, so it's no problem." Bridgette turned to Candice. "We can hang out after the show, if you like."

"I'd love that!" Candice exclaimed.

"Isis can too, if you like," Bridgette said.

"We'll get to Isis later, but we have one more guest first," Katie said, looking a bit dreamy.

"A huge jerk face," Sadie said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Sadie, everyone was mean to him. It wasn't his fault."

"How could he do that to poor Xuxa?" Sadie asked, tearing up. "It was just so cruel and heartless."

"Well, why don't we just bring him out and ask him?" Noah asked flatly.

"Fine," Sadie said, pouting. "Our next guest was a huge jerk face-"

"He was a total hottie hot hottie!" Katie exclaimed.

"Xuxa and Rachel loved him, gave their all to him, and he just stomped on their hearts cruelly-"

"So yummy! Eeeiii!" Katie squeed.

"Please don't squee," Sadie said. "This is an inappropriate guy to squee over."

"So totally false!" Katie insisted.

"When your boyfriend is sitting next to you, yeah, it kinda' is inappropriate," Noah said.

Katie turned her head around quickly, looking guilty. "Oops… sorry." Katie rubbed Noah's head.

"Well, let's meet the jerk face himself," Sadie said, pointing over to the left side of the stage, "Frederique Jonathan Hitswell."

A large percentage of the women in the audience were loudly cheering for Frederique as he walked onto the stage, though Sadie herself was booing, though being drowned out by the audience. Frederique himself looked nervous as he took his seat where Candice and Bridgette were, who had moved over, with Walter walking up to the top row.

"Can I get your autograph?" Katie exclaimed, passing a pad and paper to Frederique.

"Uh, sure, I guess," Frederique said, signing his name to Katie's notepad.

"I don't know why you want that jerk face's autograph," Sadie complained. "He's a jerk face!"

"Can you stop calling me that?" Frederique asked.

"Can you stop being a big ol' dumb jerk face?" Sadie asked.

"I didn't know what to do, OK?" Frederique said, annoyed. "I never said I was interested in Xuxa. She just took it upon herself to stalk me."

"You only didn't like her because she was fat!" Sadie yelled, on the verge of tears. "There is **nothing wrong **with fat girls!" Sadie stood up and slapped Frederique across the face.

Frederique rubbed his face where Sadie slapped him, and had left a mark. "That hurt."

"Um, duh, it was supposed to," Sadie said, rolling her eyes.

"I didn't want Rachel either," Frederique said.

"Well, she's mean, so that's OK, but what did poor Xuxa ever do to you?" Sadie yelled.

"She wouldn't leave me alone!" Frederique shouted, getting irritated. "She just wouldn't leave me be!"

"You didn't deserve it!" Sadie yelled, getting angry. "How dare you think fat people are beneath you! Well, guess what? You're nothing special yourself!"

"OK, stop that already!" Frederique shouted.

Sadie put her finger to her lip, then shook her head. "No, I don't think I will."

"You were kind of a jerk," Candice said. "Xuxa seems nice enough. It's kind of mean to shove her away just because she's slightly overweight."

"Slightly?" Walter asked.

Candice poked Walter's belly. "You're a lot fatter than she is."

"Which is why, fortunately for me, I have other admirable qualities besides looks to be admired for," Walter said. Candice motioned gagging, at which Bridgette giggled slightly.

"I kind of have to agree with almost everyone else," Noah said. "You did treat Xuxa badly."

"Noah, she was torturing the poor guy," Katie said, a bit irritated, then walked over to Frederique, and started rubbing herself all over him. "Don't listen to them. They're meanie heads."

"Could you stop touching me?" Frederique asked.

"Oh, sorry," Katie said, looking a bit guilty as she backed into her seat.

"You're gay, aren't you?" Walter asked.

"My girlfriend would disagree," Frederique said.

Sadie blinked, a bit confused. "You already had a girlfriend?"

"Yes," Frederique said. "Such a wonderful, beautiful girl, and I really didn't want to mention her."

"Because she doesn't exist?" Sadie asked, rolling her eyes.

"No, because she really didn't want the international attention," Frederique said. "Seriously, you pick twenty-five teenagers to be on this show, and it doesn't occur to anyone that there's a slight, slight chance that one of them might already be going out with someone?"

Noah started tapping his chin. "In retrospect, I suppose it was highly unlikely as it was that all twenty-two of us from the first season just so happened to be single."

"How do we know you're not making her up?" Sadie asked.

Frederique sighed. "Her name is Riley Kay. She goes to the same school I do. You can go and ask her yourself, but she really wanted to keep a low profile."

"Maybe you should've not mentioned her name on this show, then," Katie said, then shrugged. "Ah well. One of us will probably remember to bleep that out. Maybe."

"Rachel and Xuxa didn't care that I already had a girlfriend," Frederique said.

"Why didn't you just tell them you had a girlfriend already?" Katie asked.

"It really wasn't any of their business, and I really didn't want this to get out at all," Frederique said.

"Because you didn't want the audience at home to think you were taken, so they'd all think they'd have a chance with you, thus becoming more popular with viewers?" Sadie asked, smirking. Frederique looked down and started twiddling his fingers.

"I said nothing untrue," Frederique said.

"But I'm at least partially right," Sadie said, looking quite pleased with herself.

"I wanted to be popular, yes," Frederique said. "Still, Riley didn't want the attention. I did."

"You mentioned her name again," Sadie said, with a mischievous grin on her face.

"I don't get why everyone wanted me, anyway," Frederique said. "I'm not that interesting."

"You're hot," Katie stated flatly.

"I really don't see it," Frederique said. "I just look ordinary."

"Trust me, you're hot," Katie repeated.

Frederique sighed. "Fine, just to shut you up."

"That wasn't very nice," Sadie said, glaring at Frederique.

"She does talk a lot, though," Frederique said. "I'd really rather just be left alone."

"Yes, because coming onto an internationally popular television reality show just screams 'I don't want attention.'" Noah said.

"Well, I didn't really want this kind of attention," Frederique said. "Just get my name out there, win a million dollars, you know?"

"No, I don't," Sadie said, glaring at Frederique.

"Can we get to the fan mail now?" Frederique asked. "I'd like to get to that."

Katie smiled. "Sounds good to-"

"One more question!" Sadie demanded. "Katrina. What do you think about her?"

"I think Mallory's right about her," Frederique said. "I don't know why Rachel took the blame for her, but really, she sabotaged me just to vote me out! Who does that?"

"Someone who wants to stick up for her friends," Candice said, with her head propped up by the palm of her hand. "I say good for her, really."

"But what about Rachel and Xuxa's treatment of me?" Frederique asked.

"So what?" Candice asked. "You were still a jerk. Rachel and Xuxa weren't very nice, but you weren't either, and frankly, even if they were wrong, I applaud Katrina for standing up for her friends, since, you know, you were wrong, too."

"I'm not going to win this, am I?" Frederique said.

"I still love you!" a girl from the audience yelled.

"I saw him first!" Katie yelled back.

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Noah asked, irritated.

"I thought you weren't gay," Katie said. "I mean, I know you had that thing with Cody, but Frederique is so much yummier, and-"

"I'm your boyfriend!" Noah shouted, rubbing his forehead.

"Aww, I know," Katie said sweetly, kissing Noah's forehead. "I can still look, though, can't I?" Noah sighed.

"I guess we can get to the fan mail now," Sadie said, looking disgusted. Zoe carried over a huge sack of fan mail, plopping it before Sadie. Sadie took out an envelope, and removed the letter from it. "Abbey says you're hot, blah blah blah." Sadie crumpled the letter into a ball, then threw it behind the couch. Sadie then took another envelope and opened it, removing that letter. "Dick says you're hot, blah blah blah." Sadie crumpled that letter, threw it down to the floor in front of her, then stomped it. "These letters suck!"

"Didn't I explain my side of the story?" Frederique asked.

"You're still a big jerk face," Sadie said, irritated as she took another envelope from the sack, and took the letter out from inside it. "This one I like more! This one's from Heidi. Dear Frederique, you don't look like anything special. You look like you probably think you're all that, but you're not! Really, why do you think you're better than everyone else? Like you're too good for anyone else! Go die in a fire!"

"OK, he may be a jerk and all, but that one was pretty harsh," Candice said.

"Maybe you should just go on to the final guest," Bridgette suggested.

"Hey, we can run this show the way we want!" Sadie insisted.

"Actually, I think Bridgette's idea is good," Katie said, tugging on Sadie's sleeve. "I think you got your point across with Frederique."

"OK," Sadie said, completely cheery in attitude all of a sudden.

"Can I continue sitting here on the bottom?" Candice asked. "I'd like to sit next to Isis."

"Fine with me," Frederique said, as he moved to the top row.

"Our final guest was cruelly voted off, even though she was the only one who did anything productive in the last challenge," Sadie said. "Even though she seems to hate white people."

"She really doesn't," Candice said. "Just give her a chance."

Sadie shrugged. "OK. She was a great player, but a certain spoiled brat was determined to get rid of her, for reasons I don't really get, but here she is, give it up for Isis Ann White!"

Isis smiled bright as she rushed onto the stage, glomping Candice before sitting down next to her. "Hi guys!" Isis turned to Candice, looking serious. "And girl, I'm so, so sorry, those things I said about you, being a slut and all."

"It's OK," Candice said.

"It really isn't," Isis said, holding Candice's hand. "You didn't deserve that, and I turned into the kind of person I hate."

"A white person?" Walter asked.

"OK, can you stop pretending you're Danielle?" Isis asked, irritated. "It's not pretty."

"She just insulted your best friend, Candice," Walter said. "You'd better show Isis what's for."

"Danielle isn't my best friend," Candice said. "Not by a long shot."

"You were talking about how nice and sweet and misunderstood she was earlier," Walter said. "Don't lie in front of Isis."

"I never said those things," Candice said. "I feel bad for her. We aren't friends."

"I can't say I feel bad for her," Isis said.

"Oh, I don't blame you," Candice said. "For some reason, I just do."

Noah spoke up. "Now, this is just a hunch, Isis, so please tell me if I'm mistaken, but for some reason, I get this feeling that you don't like Danielle."

"That's an understatement," Isis said.

"A lot of people don't like Danielle, really," Noah said. "She's beautiful, sure, but she's not particularly pleasant."

"She's not that pretty," Katie said, glaring at Noah.

"Neither is Frederique, but I don't see you trying to hide it," Noah said, raising an eyebrow. Katie turned back around, looking embarrassed.

Isis started answering. "Danielle's a pretty horrible, racist-"

"Do you have to use the r-word?" Katie asked. "I mean, I know she's pretty horrible, but that doesn't mean she's racist. Does it?"

"I don't mean to be too nosy, but what race are you?" Isis asked. "I can't tell, really."

"Oh, I'm white," Katie said. "Just very tanned."

"Then just listen, please," Isis said. "You don't really know what it's like not being white."

"Oh, don't worry," Katie said. "I don't see color! I don't care if someone's white, black, brown, green-"

"No one's green," Isis said.

"I'm just saying what if," Katie said.

"If you really did meet a green person, I promise you'd freak out," Isis said, then chuckled to her self. "I'd even freak out, even though I know I shouldn't."

"But people aren't really green, though, so that doesn't really count," Sadie said.

"That was my point," Isis said. "Green people don't exist. But I do, and it's kind of insulting to be treated like someone's pretending I'm white."

"Please don't argue with her," Candice said, looking worried.

"But Stephanie doesn't seem to care," Katie said.

"I'm not Stephanie," Isis said. "And after last night, I'm worried about her."

"You're not mad that she voted for you instead of Danielle?" Katie asked.

"Well, yeah, I am," Isis said. "Looking back, I almost can't blame her for voting for me."

"I don't get it," Sadie said, looking completely confused.

"I'm a bit outspoken, I admit it," Isis said, smiling. "She's not very outspoken at all about her race, and she seems to prefer to ignore it, hoping it'll go away if she ignores it, and she didn't like that I wasn't ignoring it. I can almost promise you that she notices it, though. I'm sure it's hurting her, even if she doesn't want to admit it."

"So you're not too mad?" Sadie asked.

"Nah," Isis said, waving the question off. "I'd love to talk to her in private, though, girl to girl. Maybe she'd be more comfortable there, instead of letting everything out on international TV. I hope Quincy forgives her if he finds out, though! I still think they'd be so perfect together!"

"What about you and Quincy?" Katie asked. "Why do you want to hook Stephanie up with Quincy, anyway?"

"I couldn't take him away from her," Isis said. "Two girls, one guy, I'd feel selfish if I hogged him all for myself, though to be honest, he is kind of cute!" Isis smiled bright.

"Are there any other guys you might like, then?" Sadie asked. "Ooh, I hope so, because I don't want you to be all alone!"

"Really, I kind of like Frederique," Isis said. "He's pretty hot, but don't worry, I know you have a girlfriend, and I won't bother you about it."

"Thank you," Frederique said.

"What about Ophelia?" Sadie asked. "Do you like her?"

"Well, not in that way," Isis said. "She's a nice girl, though. I feel kind of guilty for getting angry at her before. She's just… different, and there's nothing wrong with that. And I know she's never tried to bother me. She's just got this way of naturally bothering people by accident."

"She was irritating me on purpose!" Leanne yelled.

"You don't count," Isis said, smirking.

"So, why are you racist?" Sadie asked.

"I'm not," Isis said, irritated, rubbing her forehead.

"But isn't that what it is, when you hate someone because you don't like their color?" Sadie asked, confused.

"Not quite," Candice said. "See, black people aren't exactly known for oppressing us."

"That's just their long term goal," Walter said.

"No, it isn't," Candice said, then looked to Isis. "Do you want to take over? I mean, you know the topic better than I do."

"Thanks," Isis said. "And that's ridiculous. I don't want to oppress anyone! I just want to be treated fairly."

"You want special treatment," Walter said. "Just admit it."

Isis rubbed her forehead in frustration. "No. I really don't. I just want to be treated fairly, and I'm not."

Katie started to speak up. "But most-"

"Please just listen, and don't interrupt," Candice said. "She needs this."

"I used to think we were already equal, really," Isis said. "But then I got older, and slowly realized everything surrounding me. The white girls who'd always try to get me in trouble, saying I was calling them names and stabbing them with pencils. And naturally, the teacher would believe them, because they pretended to be all innocent and white." Isis laughed at herself for a moment. "Well, they weren't pretending to be white, exactly, but… oh, you know what I meant. It wasn't an isolated incident, and it wasn't just me: the white people segregated themselves away from us, and me and my friends banded together because, well, we had to. No one else was there for us." Isis started crying; Bridgette took out a tissue for her to use. "I was always nice and bubbly, but the white girls didn't all like it. Apparently, they decided they'd look better if they had a token black friend, and I wasn't having it. So they decided to get me in more trouble, to teach me my place-which I was already well aware of, anyway-but it wasn't just them. The adults didn't like me in their white suburbia. They wanted me in the inner city, where apparently I belonged. The adults were careful, though. They were watching me like a hawk, trying to find a reason to kick me out, and they often did." Isis rolled her eyes, still crying. "Not that they really needed a reason, since the police would never believe a supposed teenaged troublemaker, anyway. And being so tall just makes me look more intimidating, so of course, I had to be the troublemaker!"

Isis blew her nose into the tissue, and Bridgette handed her another one. "I didn't start anything, though. The girls would pick fights with me, though, and since everyone already thought I was some bully, they were always believed, and I'd be punished, fined, jailed, whatever, so much as it even looked like I touched them, and I'll be honest, I did fight back. And I shouldn't have been punished for defending myself, but I was. And most recently, with a videotape they put together…" Isis trailed off, and started sobbing in her hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do." Candice was crying as well, and hugged her gently.

"You don't deserve it, you know," Candice said.

"Thank you," Isis answered.

"Well, if they have a videotape that proves you're lying-" Walter started, but was quickly shut up by Isis' elbow to his balls, causing him to fall off the seat to the ground.

"I wasn't even there!" Isis yelled. "Video manipulation is scary. Even scarier that we can't trust videotape anymore. They edited me into the video with their rich white girl technology, and they're trying to use it to get me sent away for a long time, and I don't know what to do!"

"Computers can't do that!" Leanne yelled. "Just admit you're a lousy, no-good thug!"

Candice turned around to glare at Leanne, then elbowed him in the balls, which he immediately clutched before falling to the floor, and then Candice started dusting off her hands. "Guess he's a boy after all."

"Actually, it hurts a lot when we get hit there too," Katie said, then shuddered. "Believe me."

"Oh, I know," Candice said. "It was a joke. One that I guess fell flat."

"Well I liked it!" Sadie exclaimed, looking fierce, making a fist.

"And yes, computers can do that," Noah said. "Though in order to create such a convincing videotape, that would require some serious high-tech."

"One of the girls is unbelievably rich, so I guess that fits," Isis said.

Candice put her hand on Isis' shoulder. "I have no idea how I can help, but I'll do whatever I can."

"Thanks," Isis said, tearing up as she smiled back at Candice, and the two hugged each other.

"So because of a few white jerks, that makes the rest of us evil, too?" Walter asked. "And you think we're the racist ones?"

"Yes," Isis stated. "First of all, I don't hate you all." Isis glomped Candice, who smiled, though looked uncomfortable. "Candice is one of the best people I could ever hope to meet! But really, after all white people do to me, can you really blame me for being a little wary?"

"But we're not-oh yeah, shutting up," Katie said, motioning her mouth as if she were zipping it.

"Thank you," Isis said. "Just try see it from my point, and don't complain how horrible a person I am."

"But if you were white and they were black-" Walter started.

"That doesn't happen in reality!" Isis yelled. "Seriously, what world are you living in where black people have that kind of power over white people? Seriously, we don't! You live in a world where you can choose to be nice to us. Or you can choose not to without much repercussions. I live in a world where if I don't toe the line with what white people want, they can make me live to regret it, and that's the real double standard here!"

Katie sniffled. "I'm sorry I said things that bothered you. I just… well, it's not really something I understand very well."

"Just try," Isis said. "That's all I can ask."

"I will," Katie said. "I don't want you to have to be miserable because I said something stupid."

"Me neither," Sadie said. "I'm really bad with saying stupid things, though."

"Thank you," Isis said. "Just please don't be insulted if I'm a little uncomfortable talking to you guys about certain things." Isis turned to Candice. "Well, except you. You're a really good listener."

"Well I know what… well, I don't. But I know what it's like to be thought of as worthless, even if my life seems so privileged next to yours." Candice giggled a bit, followed by Isis.

"Not your fault you live a princess' life," Isis said, smirking. The two girls hugged each other again.

"Would you like to hear some fan mail?" Sadie asked.

"Has the show even started airing yet?" Isis asked, confused.

"No, but short blurbs and your pictures are up on the website, and a lot of people wrote in already," Sadie said, while Zoe handed her a medium-small sack of letters. Sadie took one of the envelopes out of the sack, then pulled out the letter inside. "This one's from Katie-eeeiii, I love her name!" Sadie squeed.

"No way!" Katie exclaimed, looking over Sadie's shoulder, then squeeing herself upon seeing her name. "That's like so awesome!"

"I know!" Sadie exclaimed. "Eeeiii!"

"What's the letter say?" Isis asked, interested.

"Dear Isis, I can't believe they'd let you on the show! That videotape of you setting the girl on fire's been leaked on Youtube, and you deserve to fry!" Sadie shuddered as she dropped the letter, then looked at it. "I wish I knew how to set fire to those things like Izzy did, without catching the rest of the set on fire."

"Maybe Walter will eat it?" Katie asked.

"No," Walter stated flatly. Katie shrugged, then started crumpling the letter into a ball.

"Not the first time I've heard that, and it probably won't be the last," Isis said. "Glad Canada doesn't have the death penalty. Not that they'd have ever used it for what I'm being accused of, anyway."

"Well, here's another letter," Sadie said. "This one's from Endora."

Isis shuddered upon hearing the name. "By any chance, would that be Endora Stephens?"

"With a p-h instead of a v, yes," Sadie said, looking a bit freaked out.

"I don't want to hear the letter," Isis said, looking clearly upset.

"This one's actually pretty nice," Sadie said, reading the letter to herself.

"I don't want to hear it!" Isis demanded. Sadie nervously folded the letter and put it in her back pocket. She then took another envelope from the sack, and took out the letter inside. "Well, this one's pretty nice, too, but I still think the other one was nicer," Sadie said. "Do you know any Ambers?"

Isis rubbed her forehead in frustration. "I know an Amber Benz, please tell me, dear God, that it's not Amber Manthey!"

"No, it's Amber Benz."

"Oh, well, that's OK, then," Isis said, calming down pretty quickly. "I don't know her."

Sadie started reading the letter. "Dear Isis, you sound like you'll be really cool, and you're pretty, too! I wish I were tall like you, instead of being under five feet tall. I hope everything goes all right with that video thing-there's just something off about it. From one sister to another, peace!"

Isis was smiling bright, hugging herself. "Can I keep that one? I'd love to write back to her!"

"Sure!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Do we have any eight by ten glossies?" Isis asked, smirking. "Sure she'd love a signed photo."

"We can check," Sadie said, smiling bright. "And that was our final guest, so I suppose our show is just about over-"

"Bye!" Leanne and Walter instantly shouted in unison. Leanne quickly bolted from the studio, while Walter lethargically walked out.

"The show was just almost over, not over over," Katie said, shaking her head.

"Do you really want to argue with them over it," Noah said.

Katie smirked. "Good point."

"Well, that's all of our guests for tonight," Sadie said. "Tune in next time, when we'll have six more unfortunate contestants join us for another little chat. Until next time, I'm Sadie-"

"And I'm Katie!" Katie exclaimed. Noah was just sitting on the sofa, though, until Katie, in frustration, elbowed him.

"Ow," Noah said, rubbing his arm. "I'm Noah."

"You forgot the 'and,'" Katie said.

"Don't worry about it," Sadie said. "Tune in again for another edition of _Total Drama Sadie and Katie-_and I'm sorry, Katie, but I didn't want to leave your name out of it, even if that's not the official name. Until next time, stay cool!"

The lights went dim, and the studio audience slowly exited the studio. "Good show, for the most part," Katie said. "You did a great job, Sadie."

"Thank you," Sadie said. "I was totally nervous. You think everyone at home's going to like me?"

"Not counting Chris-and let's face it, he doesn't count-yes," Katie said, smiling as she put her hand on Sadie's shoulder.

"Can I get back to my computer game?" Noah asked.

"Only if I can play with you," Katie said, batting her eyelashes at Noah, who cringed.

"But the last time we played, you kept killing our own team repeatedly," Noah said, rubbing his forehead.

"Think Courtney's still mad about that?" Katie asked, looking guilty, twiddling her thumbs.

Noah sighed. "Let's just do it. Just… try not to kill me this time?"

Katie nodded. "Right!" Katie, Noah, and Sadie left the room, as well as Frederique, leaving Candice, Bridgette and Isis alone.

"Hey, Isis," Candice said, smiling, "you want to hang with me and Bridgette for a while?"

Isis looked nervous. "You really like Bridgette, don't you?"

"She's like my idol," Candice said, smiling bright.

"I promise not to speak over you," Bridgette said, smiling.

Isis looked Bridgette over for a moment, then glomped her. "If Candice trusts you, I trust you!" Isis started walking out the room with Candice and Bridgette. "What were we going to do anyway? Is there a McDonald's around here?"

"No!" Bridgette shouted. "No McDonald's, not ever!"

Isis laughed it off. "OK, we can do something else. You girls like playing basketball?" Candice smiled bright, while Bridgette looked a bit more nervous.


	14. Day 7, Part 1: Danielle Hath No Fury

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 14: Day 7: Part 1: Danielle Hath No Fury**

Heather pounded her fist on the table she was working at in the editing room, with the monitors in the room all showing scenes with Katrina. "This isn't right!" Heather shouted, while Leshawna shook her head, standing behind her. "There has to be something! Something besides sabotaging that jerk's food!"

"There really ain't anything, girl," Leshawna said, putting a hand on Heather's shoulder. "I hate sounding like a hypocrite, but she's changed."

Heather looked at one of the screens, pointed to it, and narrowed her eyes. "That's Rita, correct?"

"Well, Katrina said she knew her," Leshawna said. "Was she friends with Mallory?"

"No, Rita bullied her, too," Heather said. "Everyone did, pretty much, but she made up with Mallory."

"It's too bad she went crazy," Leshawna said.

"I don't know that she did," Heather said, staring at the screen. "I want to know where she is."

"You think Mallory hired her to do something?" Leshawna asked, nervous.

"No," Heather said, continuing to stare at the screen.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Heather: (tapping her fingers together) The pieces are slowly, but surely, coming together. I **will **find out what you're up to, Katrina, and your days **are **numbered.

* * *

Danielle was sitting by herself in the cafeteria, stirring her moldy slop, and sighed. She lifted her fork, with some of the slop on it, then let the glop fall back onto the plate. She kept repeating this.

"The kitchen's closed," DJ said, peeking his head from the window to the dining room. "It really would be nice if you could finish up so I can clean up." DJ watched as Danielle was playing with her food. "And you're not really eating, anyway. And that's not even real food."

"Aww, please?" Danielle asked, batting her eyes toward DJ.

DJ sighed. "I guess I'm not really in a hurry. I don't need that much sleep, anyway."

"Aww, you're the best!" Danielle said, smiling bright, as she skipped over to give DJ a kiss on the cheek, then pinch it. Danielle then went to sit back down, playing with her slop once more.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Courtney doesn't have to ever find out what I did, right? I mean, I was careful not to get on camera, so there's no reason for her to assume I had anything to do with what happened with Gwen, right? I mean, I had to do it, right? What other choice did I have?

* * *

Danielle slammed open the door to her side of the loser cabin, and was immediately pounced on by Ophelia, knocking Danielle back to the ground. "Hi!" Ophelia exclaimed, then glomped Danielle. "I was wondering where you were, and was afraid some evil tiger or glarn monster or something got you, or maybe Trailpip, but you're safe!"

Danielle irritatedly knocked Ophelia off her body, and dusted herself off as she stood up. "What the hell are you rambling on about?"

"You just weren't here, and I was worried about you," Ophelia said sweetly.

"That's nice," Danielle said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I'm a good person, right?"

"That's an odd question," Ophelia said, confused. "Or is it an even question? I lost count a while ago."

"I'm a good person, aren't I?" Danielle asked, uncomfortable.

"Want to grab a pop?" Ophelia asked. "Maybe something with caffeine, so we can bounce in our sleeping bags all night!"

Danielle cringed, then forced a smile. "I am a good person."

"Maybe we can ask Izzy for some curtains," Ophelia said. "Might as well make our third place cabin look nice, right, since we seem to be stuck here so much?"

"Why aren't you answering my question?" Danielle asked.

"Can I bite you?" Ophelia asked, looking at Danielle's leg. "I want to see if I can fit your leg in my mouth."

"No!" Danielle yelled. "Are you nuts?"

"I think we both know that I am," Ophelia said, then blew a raspberry.

"Now if you could only answer my other question," Danielle said, growing more irritated. "Am I a good person?"

"You're not going to drop that, are you?" Ophelia asked, massaging her forehead.

"I demand an answer!" Danielle pouted, stomping her foot.

"You know, the whole demanding thing isn't something most people think of as particularly nice," Ophelia said.

"You wouldn't answer me!" Danielle shouted.

"I'm a little scared to answer you," Ophelia said. "I like you, you let me play with you, and-"

"Play with me?" Danielle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a good thing!" Ophelia exclaimed, then looked serious. "You're sometimes a wee bit mean, though."

Danielle nervously tapped her fingers together. "Isis deserved to lose, right? I mean, she was pretty mean to me, right?"

"Weren't you mean to her?" Ophelia asked.

"I had to defend myself, right?" Danielle asked, getting more nervous, her eyes watering heavily, until she finally collapsed on Ophelia, gripping her tightly. "I'm a mess!" Danielle's eyes were gushing.

"Uh, barka?" Ophelia asked, confused.

"I'm sorry," Danielle said, crying more lightly now. "It's just… I don't know. I try so hard to be nice and good, and I'm failing."

"Oh, I know," Ophelia said. "You're just kind of stupid."

Danielle got up and blinked, looking upset. "What?"

"You're a little oblivious sometimes."

"I'm highly intelligent, I'll have you know!" Danielle snapped. "I can find the cosecant of any angle you throw at me!"

"Well duh, it's not that hard," Ophelia said. "I mean, it kind of repeats after you go past one hundred eighty, anyway. Doesn't mean much more than saying you've memorized times tables."

"Hmph!" Danielle hmphed. "It sounds smart, though!"

"Probably," Ophelia said. "Besides, the best part of math was that little purple fuzzy creature with the blue face and his dragon friend!"

"OK," Danielle said, confused, then shook her head vigorously. "I should do something nice for someone in need."

"Like what?" Ophelia asked. "Try to get Courtney and Gwen to kiss and make up?"

"Eww, no, that's sick," Danielle said, shuddering. "Gwen's pretty mean, anyway, so she deserves it."

"Ah, of course," Ophelia said. "Gwen, the demon queen who unleashed her anti-self upon the world, and it's up to you to save the day!" Danielle blinked, then slapped her own face.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Ophelia: Can someone remind me why Gwen's evil, again? I don't remember that.

* * *

"Uh, yeah," Danielle said. "Anyway, I meant poor, poor Mallory. In a completely straight, girl-to-girl way, she's pretty, even with her glaring deformity."

"I'm not sure if that could've been more offensive if you tried," Ophelia said. What are you talking about, though?"

"Well, Katrina's obviously evil-"

"Hold on, I'm going to stop you there," Ophelia said. "You're stuck on the mystery box thing, aren't you?"

"She stole my box!" Danielle shouted, throwing her arms into the air. "What kind of cruel person would do such a thing?"

"Oh, of course, how stupid of me," Ophelia said, rolling her eyes. "You should stay out of it, though. It's between Katrina and Mallory, and you'll probably make more enemies if you involve yourself."

"That's unlikely," Danielle said, grinning. "Katrina already despises me, and everyone else here, and I'll get Mallory on my side, since she's obviously a poor, innocent woobie."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (confused) What's a woobie? Did she just make that word up?

* * *

"I still think you shouldn't get involved in that," Ophelia said. "If you want to cheer Mallory up, just blow a raspberry into her belly button, or something."

Danielle shuddered. "And have her think I'm gay, I don't think so. Besides, if I can do something really nice, like saving everyone from the evil Katrina, then I might finally get the respect I so rightly deserve!"

"What about Todd?" Ophelia asked. "He's evil. Why not fight him instead?"

"Everyone already hates him," Danielle said. "Well, except that one guy who thinks he can get into my pants by hanging around him, which, by the way, so isn't happening."

"Well, duh," Ophelia said. "You're wearing a skirt." Ophelia tugged on Danielle's skirt. "Pretty skimpy, to boot."

Danielle slapped Ophelia's hand. "Would you stop that?"

"I just don't think-" Ophelia stopped herself short, then grew a huge smile and glomped Danielle. "You just gave me a super idea!" Ophelia kissed Danielle, then skipped off. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Don't **do **that!" Danielle yelled.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Seriously, I don't want anyone to think I'm gay, because I'm not, and I wouldn't be so practically perfect if I were! And Ophelia kissing me puts me into a lose-lose situation: if it looks like I like it, then obviously, everyone's going to think I'm a lesbian. But if I complain about it, then everyone's still going to think I'm a lesbian, but I'm just too embarrassed to admit it! Just-**urgh!  
**Ophelia: (popping her head out from beneath the chair) Hi!  
(Danielle screams and shoots high in the air, and hangs onto the light fixture.)  
Ophelia: (shaking her head) I wouldn't do that. That thing's kinda famous for falling.  
Danielle: (glaring at Ophelia) These confessionals are supposed to be private!  
Ophelia: (waving dismissively to Danielle) Oh, I know, but it's OK, because I like you.  
Danielle: **Out!  
**Ophelia: I'm sorry that I can be annoying sometimes, but really, if someone thinks you're a lesbian just because I kissed you, that says more about them than you.  
Danielle: (sighing) Fine, but could you please not do that?  
Ophelia: (smiling brightly) I'll try!

* * *

Ophelia nodded. "So that's the plan!"

Danielle slapped her own face, frustrated. "You didn't say anything."

"Shush," Ophelia said, putting her hand over Danielle's mouth, who rolled her eyes. "You weren't supposed to say that! You see, they were going to edit that in right after someone used the confessional, so that everyone watching at home would think we had just come up with an ingenius plot!" Ophelia stroked Danielle's chin. "Preferably one that doesn't involve throwing Gwen under a bus."

Danielle slapped Ophelia's hand away. "Cut that out! And I'm not throwing Gwen under…" Danielle trailed off, then sighed. "OK, I am. But Gwen's mean, too. And I know two wrongs don't make a right, but it was her or me!"

Ophelia nodded. "Of course. Even though I have no idea what you're talking-"

Ophelia was interrupted by the sound of a gun that had just been fired.

"What the hell was that?" Danielle screamed.

"Sorry, ma'am," Yancy said, creepily standing beside a nearby tree, holding a shotgun. "I saw dinner 'round these here parts."

"Who shoots at their dinner?" Danielle yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "Anything we eat is slow and stupid enough that we don't need guns a blazing!"

"Well, I saw the possum there," Yancy pointed, right behind Danielle.

Danielle blinked. "What are you-eeeeek!" Danielle screamed after she looked down and saw a large possum against her leg.

"Ha ha," Ophelia laughed. "It's funny that you didn't even feel it rubbing against your leg!"

"It is not, just save me already!" Danielle screamed, hopping around in a panic.

"Don't worry, missy," Yancy said as he aimed his gun.

"Don't shoot, you idiot!" Danielle screamed, then leapt into Ophelia's arms. And the two girls fell to the ground.

"I must say, I'm honored that you think I was strong enough for that," Ophelia said, blushing. "I don't think it's going to stop anyone from thinking we're hot for each other-"

"Eww eww eww!" Danielle screamed, shaking her hands as she limped away.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: **Is Yancy nuts?**

Yancy: (Yancy takes aim at the vending machine with his shotgun and shoots, and out comes a Hawaiian Punch, "bleeding" punch, as he picks the drink up.) You weren't going to get away that easy.

Izzy: (inspecting a dent in the machine) You'd really think a shotgun might've done more damage than this, but who am I to complain?

Rachel: It was hard to get to sleep when it sounded like someone was shooting outside. It probably wasn't anything important, so no one bothered to check it out, but still, I envy those who don't have trouble sleeping through anything.

* * *

"I swear, that new girl sucks," Rachel whined, turning in the top bunk of a bed in the cabin. "She's got issues." Katrina was lying in the lower bunk, nervously staring at the bunk above her.

"Yeah, she's not very nice," Xuxa said.

"If I were her, I don't know if I would trust me," Katrina said, closing her eyes tight.

"If you were her, you wouldn't suck," Rachel said.

Katrina sighed. "Look, can't you play nice? Please?"

"She's not here," Rachel said. "I can still gripe about her behind her back, can't I?"

"I'll try to get her in here," Katrina said, getting up from her bed and leaving the cabin, still in her nightgown.

"Maybe she's nice," Xuxa said. "Do we really know her?"

"Do you really want to know her?" Rachel asked, annoyed. "I know enough."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (pretending to stick her finger down her throat) Would it be mean to get rid of Mallory? (Rachel shrugs.) Sure. But then, I don't pretend to be a saint. I do know how great a person Katrina is, though, and how sometimes I wish I could be more like her. And I'm not going to let anyone hurt her! (Rachel pounds a fist into the palm of her other hand.)

* * *

"She really did that?" Zack asked, confused, sitting outside the cabin, next to Mallory. "She's always been so nice to me, though."

"It's an act," Mallory said. "Be careful around her."

"She helped me a few days ago, though," Zack said. "Some other boys locked me in that little shack." Zack pointed to the punishment shack. "She let me out."

"For her own selfish reasons, I assure you," Mallory said. "She's very calculating. And she probably thinks you're cute."

"Really?" Zack asked, blushing.

"That's really not a good thing," Mallory said. "She'll chew you up and spit you out. If you're lucky."

"If I'm lucky?" Zack asked.

"There's someone better out there for you," Mallory said, looking up at the stars. "You don't want anything to do with Katty."

"Could you please address me by my proper name?" Katrina said, appearing behind the two, cringing. "I do detest those nicknames."

Mallory grinned. "I'd rather not, Katty."

Katrina cringed again, then put on an uncomfortable smile. "I'm not sleeping in the cabin, so you can go in and get some sleep. You deserve a nice, warm bed."

Mallory raised an eyebrow. "And I'm sure you aren't going to sneak in during the night."

"The doors have locks," Zack said.

Mallory loudly sighed. "Fine, I guess I can get some sleep." Mallory smiled at Zack as she was getting up. "Goodnight, Zack." Mallory gave Katrina a death glare before walking to her cabin, and Katrina sat down next to Zack."

"So," Katrina said, shifting her feet back and forth as she sat with her legs extended in front of her, "what were you two talking about?"

"About you," Zack said, nervous. "Telling me about things you did."

"Bad things, right?" Katrina asked.

"Pretty horrible," Zack said. "You didn't really-"

"I did," Katrina said, looking down to the ground, holding her hands together in her lap. "The whole school tormented her, and I was one of her bigger tormenters." Katrina started tearing up. "She didn't deserve any of it. I wish I could go back in time and stand up for her. She needed someone. I could've been that someone, but I wasn't. I wanted to fit in."

"Did you break her arm?" Zack asked.

"Oh, heavens, no!" Katrina exclaimed nervously. "I mean, I was part of that whole environment that led to that, but I was ashamed someone could go that far." Katrina took out a tissue and wiped her eye, still crying. "I wish I could say I started sticking up for her at that point, but I didn't."

"I don't think she believes you," Zack said.

"I don't blame her," Katrina said. "There's no real reason she should trust me."

"Did you try apologizing?" Zack asked.

"Well, yes, but I don't want to bother her too much," Katrina said. "Incessantly demanding her to forgive me is only going to annoy her. I just need her to see that I'm a different person than I was then." Katrina put on a slight grin. "You like her, don't you?" Zack didn't say anything. Katrina pat his knee. "It's OK, I want her to have friends. If she's comfortable talking to you, that's great! And if anything more should happen…." Katrina giggled, and Zack blushed. "It's OK, really. If she likes you, and you like her, go for it!"

"I don't know if she likes me," Zack said, twiddling his fingers.

"Of course not," Katrina said, grabbing his shoulder, and waving to the sky with her other hand. "You've got to reach out and grab her! See a girl you like, and let her know!" Katrina smirked. "You never know until you try."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Zack: Actually, I kind of like Mallory. And Katrina. They're both really nice, but the whole… well, what Katrina did was pretty unforgivable. But on the other hand, she's really trying to make up for it, and I can kind of relate to everything Mallory's gone through. Except suddenly, after hearing her story, I feel like everything's been handed to me on a silver platter.

Katrina: (holding her knee on her lap with both hands) I don't really know how I feel about Zack. But I do suspect Mallory likes him, and if that's the case, I really don't want to interfere.

* * *

Izzy was standing on the Dock of Shame, standing next to Bridgette. "Zekey, get my good side, OK?" Izzy asked.

"Which side is that?" Ezekiel asked from behind the camera.

"My good side, duh," Izzy said, with her hands on her hips. "You know, the side that isn't bad?"

Ezekiel shrugged, then shot Izzy from the left.

Izzy gave a thumbs-up. "See, not too hard! Anyway, last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _Izzy asked herself, 'hey, Izzy, long time no speak, ha ha!"

"Weren't you talking to yourself last night?" Bridgette asked.

Izzy pinched Bridgette's cheek. "It's a joke, silly. Anyway, I was asking myself, 'self, wouldn't it be fun to edit in post a bunch of stuff before this spiel, because it's happening the night before, and it wouldn't make a lot of sense to have the episode's intro during the day, then go back in time to show a bunch of stuff from the night before?"

"So you think something interesting happened last night," Bridgette said.

"Someone killed a possum with a shotgun, so I'd say so," Izzy said, nodding.

"OK, I really didn't need to know that," Bridgette said. "That's horrible!"

"And delicious! Anyway, I set up an 'obvious' challenge," Izzy said, using finger quotes, "that it was going to be another Phobia Multiple-type challenge. Except I made it a little bit different: the contestants had to scare our interns!"

"And none of them really did it the way we had planned," Bridgette said, grinning. "Though it would have helped if Charlotte had known she wasn't supposed to tell them what she was afraid of."

"And if Stephanie hadn't just tried over two hundred things in a rapid-fire fashion to scare them," Izzy said. "I forgot someone could technically do that instead of clue hunting. And ironically, the only person who actually played the game as it was intended to be played, Isis, was booted out."

"I felt bad for her," Bridgette said. "All because of that awful Danielle! She's going to get what's coming to her, I'll bet."

"Yeah, I think everyone wants to see her fall," Izzy said. "But we must wait for that. Also, Heather finally arrived with Mallory, who's in the game now, and apparently knew Katrina before she got here."

"I'm not a big fan of the new girl," Bridgette said, uncomfortable. "I mean, I understand that she doesn't have the best history with Katrina, but I wish she'd forgive her. I mean, Katrina's just so sweet and perfect, kind of like Danielle thinks she is."

"I still think she's bad luck," Izzy said. "I mean, Geoff has a sister whose name starts with M, and Geoff's told me that the universe is out to get her."

"Geoff's sister also deserves whatever the universe decides to hand her," Bridgette said, rubbing her head. "I don't even know what I ever did to her!"

Izzy smiled for the camera "As it stands now, we have twenty-one-"

"Can I ask a question before we get to that part?" Ezekiel asked, sounding confused. "Who was that Bane person who tried to sneak into Sadie's and Katie's interview, eh?"

"Blaineley O'Halloran!" Bridgette exclaimed, looking excited. "Only the best celebrity interviewer on TV!" Bridgette stopped herself, then looked embarrassed. "OK, I'm ashamed for knowing that. I kind of like celebrity gossip. I understand that I just missed meeting her yesterday." Bridgette turned to Izzy, grasping her shoulders, and hopping up and down. "We've got to get her back, please oh please oh-" Bridgette stopped jumping on the freaked-out Izzy, and tried to calm herself. "I'm sorry, I'm just… I just think it would be so awesome to have her around! Especially since she was so unfairly fired from her job recently, so I'm sure she could use the work, I mean, just to be nice." Bridgette tried to contain her enthusiasm. "And I'd love to meet the Blaineley O'Halloran!"

"She really wasn't that pleasant," Izzy said. "I'd kind of rather she didn't come back."

Bridgette sighed. "OK."

"Anyway, twenty-one contestants remain," Izzy said, smiling bright. "By the end of the day, it will be an even twenty! So which one will be leaving us tonight? Find out, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

_

* * *

_

Courtney was sitting in her private little area by the lake in the morning, fiddling with a pocket knife, as Bridgette approached. "Courtney?" Bridgette asked, concerned.

"Oh, hi Bridgette," Courtney said, smiling at her friend.

"You're not hurting yourself, are you?" Bridgette asked, looking at the knife.

"What?" Courtney asked, confused, then looked at the knife and laughed. "Oh, no! I'm just making one of those figurines for Danielle."

"OK," Bridgette said, contorting her face in confusion. "Why Danielle?"

"She's such a sweet, intelligent, nearly perfect person, and no one appreciates her," Courtney said. "I wanted to do something nice for her, show her that people care about her."

"But Danielle?" Bridgette asked. "She's not that nice."

"You're obviously confusing Danielle with Gwen," Courtney said, with venom in her voice upon uttering the goth girl's name. "I knew she was trying to steal my Duncan!"

"Danielle was sneaking away shortly after that incident," Bridgette said, looking unimpressed, with her arms crossed over her chest. "I really question if she was involved with that."

"Danielle wouldn't do that," Courtney said, waving her hand dismissively to Bridgette. "She's nice. She's just misunderstood. Though I am disappointed that she and Isis never got to see eye to eye."

"I don't want to see you get hurt," Bridgette said. "I'm just not sure you should trust Danielle."

"It's **Gwen **who I shouldn't trust," Courtney said, angry. "I should've known to trust my instincts, that she was trying to steal my man!"

"She's not trying to steal Duncan," Bridgette said. "Gwen's devastated about what happened!"

"And what about me?" Courtney complained. "I didn't even get an apology!"

"She didn't do anything wrong!" Bridgette shouted.

Courtney stood up and poked Bridgette's chest. "Don't take that tone with me!"

"I'll overlook that," Bridgette said, wiping Courtney's finger off her body. "Gwen feels terrible, and I think you should talk to her."

Courtney pounded her fists together. "That I can do."

"Be nice!" Bridgette scolded her. Courtney pouted. "Did you hear that Blaineley O'Halloran was here?"

Courtney blinked. "Did you make that name up?"

"She used to host _Celebrity Manhunt?"_

"Oh, that was her name," Courtney said. "If you're talking about that harpy who looks like she could be your uglier sister, then I would rather not see her again."

"You know her?" Bridgette asked.

"She interviewed me, and I would rather not be interviewed by her again," Courtney said.

"So she's not nice in person," Bridgette said, sticking her hands in her pockets. "I guess I shouldn't be that surprised, really. Seems to happen."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I never got asked for an interview. I guess Blaineley felt that Courtney was more interesting then me, which is probably true. I know Chris always felt I was boring. (Bridgette giggled for a moment.) Usually wound up forgetting that I wasn't Lindsay.

Lindsay: I don't know why some people confuse me and Bridgette. I mean, hello, I'm the pretty one! (Lindsay nods for a few seconds, then quickly covers her mouth, looking embarrassed.) I didn't mean that, I just meant that I'm prettier… I mean, you're pretty, but I'm just prett… more pretty. (Lindsay hangs her head in defeat.) I'm sorry. That sounded a lot meaner out loud than it did in my head.

* * *

"Go away!" Gwen yelled when she heard a knock at her door, as she was lying in her bed in her bedroom, looking miserable.

"Is weird goth girl in?" Heather asked, peeking her head in the room, smirking.

"Really not in the mood for that," Gwen said.

"I was hoping for a retort," Heather said, then entered the room. "No one blames you for what happened."

"Um, Courtney kind of does," Gwen stated.

Heather looked embarrassed. "Oh, yes, her. Look, she's just being stupid for some reason."

"But I meant what I said," Gwen said. "I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not," Heather said, looking upset. "I've heard about the truth serum. If I were a betting woman-and I am-"

"Elli would love to talk to you, then," Gwen said, smirking.

"I didn't mean that-" Heather started, then shook her head. "Never mind. Just answer me honestly. You want Duncan, don't you?"

"Well, since it's all out, yeah," Gwen said.

"But you don't want to hurt people," Heather said. "You know Courtney and Trent would be devastated, and they kind of are. And that would be a bit of an understatement."

"I didn't want it to get out, though," Gwen said, then sighed and turned over onto her stomach, hanging over the side of the bed. "I wanted to bottle it up and not hurt anyone with it."

"Look, no one's going to hurt you," Heather said. "Almost everyone's on your side here, though I would stay away from Lindsay for a while, and this weirdo with purple hair who seems to want you dead for some reason."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Lindsay: (holds up a picture of Gwen, and glares at it) Woof! Woof!

* * *

"Can I come in now?" Cody asked, sounding anxious, from outside the room.

"I didn't say you couldn't come in," Heather said, confused.

"He wasn't asking you," Eva said, from outside the room.

"I'm pretty sure Gwen wants to see me, though," Cody said.

"Um, one person is more than enough for now, thanks," Gwen said, uncomfortable. Heather grinned.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Heather: I don't know who caused all of this, but I certainly hope Katrina has an alibi. This so sounds like her M.O.

Gwen: The next time I see Danielle, I may just kill her.

Courtney: The next time I see Danielle, I need to confide in her. I feel bad for her, knowing how many people don't like her. I can relate to her feelings.

* * *

Nicole was waiting outside the second place cabin that morning, looking anxious.

"Hi," Veronica said, walking up to her.

"Uh, hi," Nicole said, not paying much attention.

Veronica looked nervously at her feet. "Look, I know I've been a little abrasive, but I'm not used to people being genuinely nice, and I'm just not very good at handling it."

"That's nice," Nicole said, barely paying attention.

"And I know I said some mean things about your sexual orientation, and I'm sorry," Veronica said. "Just trying to hurt you before you hurt me, and I know, it's a really bad excuse for that, but I think I'm ready to open up more if you still want to try."

"OK, just, not… now," Nicole said, trying to wave Veronica away. Veronica sighed, then walked off.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Veronica: She didn't want me around after all. I should've known, really.

Nicole: (banging her head on the camera) Nicole, you are an idiot!

* * *

Nicole was waiting by the side of the building, and smiled when she saw the door open, though it didn't last long when she saw it was Rachel who had emerged.

"You're not very well hidden, you know," Rachel said, irritated, looking straight at Nicole, who looked embarrassed.

"Well… I-" Nicole started, unsure of her words.

"You're waiting for Katrina, aren't you?" Rachel asked, smirking.

Nicole rubbed her arm nervously. "Well…"

"She's straight, so get over her," Rachel said. "And if she weren't straight, she would be mine, not yours, got it?" Nicole smirked at that line, and Rachel slapped her own face when she realized what she'd said. "You know what I meant by that!"

"Yes I do," Nicole said, grinning as she rocked back and forth on her feet.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: I'm pretty sure Katrina could decide for herself how she feels about me. But even if she doesn't like me that way, and I'm walking into this aware that she probably doesn't, I'd still love to talk and hang out and stuff, just because she's just so gosh darn nice! I'd love to get to know her. (Nicole holds her hands together, then sighs.) And try to fix what I messed up with Veronica. Just the absolute wrong person for me to get short with. Poor girl.

Rachel: I'll just bet that Nicole's spending time in here blabbing to people that I'm a lesbian, but I'm not! I like guys! Like Duncan! If you're watching, and you'd like to dump the CIT for me, I'll be waiting.

* * *

"George!" Danielle shouted, running up to him, heading for the dining room! "Wait up!"

"I wasn't really going anywhere," George said, then shrugged. "What's up?"

"Tell me I'm a good person!"

"OK, you're a good person."

Danielle slapped her face. "You didn't mean that."

"Was I supposed to?" George asked.

"I was hoping," Danielle said, looking scared, and started twiddling her fingers. "Let's say, hypothetically, I got a mean person in trouble, even though said mean person hadn't actually done anything wrong this time."

"Hypothetical," George repeated.

Danielle continued twisting her pointers together. "Well, hypothetical as in 'I might have made a mistake.'"

"Well, if you made a mistake, and you're sorry, then that's a good thing," George said.

"I'm not sorry!" Danielle shouted. "Gwen deserved it!"

"What did Gwen deserve?" George asked. "I'm in the dark here."

"OK, that was pretty groan-worthy," Danielle said, rolling her eyes. "But I may have engineered a confession out of Gwen, admitting to Courtney and the other old campers that she liked Duncan, and wants to steal him away from Courtney."

George probably would've blinked in confusion if anyone could see past his sunglasses. "Why?"

"Because Alyssa's a horrible, horrible person," Danielle said. "It's her fault!"

"She forced you to do this to Gwen?" George asked.

"Well, no, but my hands were tied!" Danielle said, nervously looking around. "She was trying to make Courtney hate me, so I needed to throw the heat onto someone else."

"And I'm sure Courtney is going to love it when she hears you were involved in this," George said.

"Please don't say anything," Danielle asked, getting on her knees. "Please? I need her!"

"I'd rather not get involved, anyway," George said. "But yes, you're a good person. And I wish I could tell you what to do now."

"You really think I'm a good person?" Danielle asked, her eyes filled with hope.

"I think you can be," George said.

Danielle looked as if her world was coming crumbling down, though she was trying to take it in. "OK," she said weakly.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (sobbing profusely) I don't want to be bad. I want to be the most perfect person ever… I'm not, am I?

George: As soon as Danielle got on the island, I could hear how beautiful she was. And over time, that veneer just kind of faded away, but I still believe she's a good person.

* * *

"All righty, folks!" Izzy exclaimed, standing next to Bridgette, in front of the cabins, before nineteen of the twenty-one contestants. "It's challenge time!"

"Challenge time!" Nicole exclaimed, trying to be excited toward Veronica. "This'll be great, huh?" Veronica shrugged, trying not to look hurt.

"For the record, I did not approve of this challenge," Bridgette said, looking irritated, with her hands on her hips.

"Good thing I'm the head honcho!" Izzy exclaimed, then cackled. "Now, you may have noticed that not all of you are here."

"Frankly, I don't mind," Nicole said. "But where are Todd and Hank, anyway?" Bridgette sighed.

"Good question, have a cookie!" Izzy said as she threw a chocolate chip cookie at Nicole, which hit her and fell to the ground.

"OK, what was that about?" Nicole asked.

"Um… aren't you going to pick up the cookie and eat it?" Izzy asked, confused.

"It fell on the ground, so no," Nicole said.

"Bob will save it!" Bob exclaimed, as he dove for the cookie, and quickly ate it. Everyone else just stared, confused.

"Anyway, Todd is at the top of the thousand-foot cliff, and Hank is helping him out, for heaven knows why," Izzy said.

"Because he thinks I'll be impressed if he's bad, or something lame like that," Rachel said, filing her nails. "He's pretty stupid, really."

"Nevertheless, it is your mission to thwart Todd," Izzy said. "The team that thwarts him wins invincibility!"

"How do we thwart him, anyway?" Rachel asked, not looking as if she were paying complete attention.

"Knock-out darts," Izzy said, as Rain walked around handing dart guns to the contestants. And stomping on Rachel's foot as she handed Rachel a gun. Rachel then started to aim the gun at Rain.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Rain said ominously. Rachel, somewhat terrified, lowered her draw.

"Once you get him, just bring him back to me, and thwart his evil scheme, whatever it may be!"

"And I'll be trying to juggle helping Gwen and Courtney, if I'm needed," Bridgette said.

"So who will win?" Izzy asked, looking serious. "Who will lose? Who will stop Todd from whatever evil scheme he has planned? And who will fall right into his clutches?" Izzy motioned her hand dramatically upon the word 'clutches.' "Find out this and more, when we return to _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

_

* * *

_

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (dressed as a fire hydrant) After these messages, we'll be right back! (Ophelia looks around the room, then sighs.) This would've worked a lot better if I could've convinced Danielle to dress as the dog.


	15. Day 7, Part 2: Stop Pigeonholed Villain!

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 15: Day 7: Part 2: Stop That Pigeonholed Villain!**

"Mwahahaha!" Todd cackled, at the top of the thousand foot cliff. "This is my greatest plan since I've arrived on this wretched island!"

"What is it?" Hank asked, lounging in a folding chair nearby, drinking an alcoholic-looking beverage.

"Why, only the cruelest creation to captivate creatures collectively!"

"Meaning?"

"Victory shall be mine!" Todd exclaimed, as he walked over to something with a large tarp over it. "Behold!" Todd dramatically removed the tarp, to expose a large laser-looking thing beneath.

"The laserinator?" Hank asked.

"No, that's a stupid name," Todd said, shaking his head. "It's the lasinator!"

"Silly me," Hank said, rolling his eyes.

"Don't you want to know what the lasinator does?" Todd asked, looking smug.

"Sure, why not?" Hank said, shrugging.

"Behold what happens when I throw the switch!" Todd exclaimed, excitedly throwing a large handled switch into the opposite position. Todd started rubbing his hands together as the lasinator started humming.

"It doesn't really do much," Hank said.

"It's warming up," Todd said. "Many of the greatest evil inventions throughout evil history have needed time to warm up!"

"What does it do, anyway?" Hank asked.

"What does it do?" Todd asked, then laughed heartily. "My boy, isn't it obvious? It shoots a giant laser! What else would an invention called the lasinator do?"

"I don't know," Hank asked. "Maybe hand out Hawaiian leis to people?"

"Evil Hawaiian leis," Todd echoed, stroking his chin. "I'll need to remember that for future use, but this lasinator merely shoots the standard beam of evil concentrated light."

"Why do you want to blow things up?" Hank asked, taking out a comic book.

Todd shook his head. "Whoever said there was no such thing as a stupid question was a liar. Which I love, since lying is evil!"

"Yeah, lying, evil, gotcha'," Hank said, flipping a page of his book.

"The point in blowing things up is because it's cool! Everyone loves explosions!"

"So you're planning on doing something nice for people," Hank said, looking up from his book, smirking. "Doesn't sound evil to me."

Todd stomped his foot. "Of course it's evil! Everyone else just has a little bit of evil in them, too! And that's why they like the explosions!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: It isn't a hard concept! Really, good guys just don't blow things up just for the fun of it. Even if it is incredibly fun!

* * *

"I hope you didn't store the bread in your pants this time," Eva said, raising an eyebrow, as she and Cody were walking through the woods.

"Nope," Cody said, patting the basket he was carrying. "I've got everything in here this time."

"That's good, because the pants bread thing makes you seem weird."

"Good thing you like weird," Cody said nervously.

"Not really," Eva muttered. Immediately, Cody and Eva could hear a loud gasp from somewhere, but neither could find the source looking around.

"Maybe we were just hearing things," Cody said.

"And we were both imagining the same noise at the same time, I think not." Eva narrowed her eyes. "I think we're being spied on!"

"Well, there are cameras all around us," Cody said, rubbing his arm nervously.

"Whoever's watching us, you'd better watch out!" Eva yelled, shaking her fist to no one in particular.

"Make me!" shouted a girl's voice, though neither of them recognized the voice. Eva started growling.

"That's it!" Eva bellowed, before darting deep into the forest in a flash.

"Be careful?" Cody asked, confused. Cody looked in the direction Eva went, and then sat down after about a minute. After another minute, someone came back, though it wasn't Eva.

"Hi," Sierra said, trying to contain her excitement. "You're Cody."

"Yes," Cody said. "Good thing you're around, in case I forget my name. Who are you, anyway?"

"You're so funny," Sierra said, pinching Cody's cheek, though Cody looked uncomfortable. "I'm Sierra Valdez, your biggest fan! I've been studying you for a while now, and it's so amazing to be in your presence face to face! Ooh, and you know, I'm pretty strong and muscle-y, too!" Sierra took Cody's hand and rubbed it against her forearm. "Feel all of my muscles! Pretty cool, huh?"

Cody blinked, looking somewhat frightened. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I know you like girls with lots of muscles, so I thought you might like getting a feel on mine." Sierra was absolutely beaming.

Cody put his basket down, then scratched the back of his head. "That's nice… where's Eva?"

"I knocked her out!" Sierra said, quite cheerful.

"You what?" Cody asked, astonished.

"Oh, she's stronger than I am, I admit, but the element of surprise can beat her!"

"But why did you knock her out?" Cody asked, getting more nervous.

"She was in the way," Sierra said, waving her hand dismissively. "But I wanted to talk to you, without some she-hulk breathing down my neck!"

"I kind of wish she was here now," Cody said, then laughed uncomfortably.

"What's wrong, my Codykins?" Sierra asked, getting nervous.

"You're making me a little uncomfortable."

Sierra glomped Cody hard, making it difficult for him to breathe. "No I'm not! You'll learn that I know how to treat my man!"

Sierra let Cody go, leaving him gasping for air for several seconds. "I really hope Eva forgives me for this."

"She will," Sierra said, then shook a fist to the sky. "Or else!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Sierra: There actually was something important I wanted to tell my little Codykins, but I kind of forgot about it until it was a little too late. (Sierra nervously waves to the camera.) Sorry, honey.

* * *

"I love roast beef sandwiches!" Sierra exclaimed, as she pulled out a roast beef sandwich from Cody's picnic basket, tightly holding Cody's arm.

"I thought you said you loved ham sandwiches earlier, and turkey sandwiches before that," Cody said, not putting up much of a struggle in getting away.

"Well, see Cody, it's got less to do with the filling, and more to do with the person who put that filling in the sandwich." Sierra bats her eyes toward Cody, who looked sick.

"Eva helped make the sandwiches too," Cody said.

"Which ones?" Sierra asked.

"Well, she worked on the roast beef-"

Sierra immediately tossed the roast beef sandwich to the ground, then casually stepped on it. "Oops."

"I was going to eat that," Cody said.

"You don't want it," Sierra said, irritated. "You don't want anything that she-hulk made."

"What did you call me?" Eva bellowed, racing toward Sierra.

"I thought she'd be out for longer than that," Sierra said. She quickly kissed Cody on the cheek, then bolted. "I'm sorry, Cody! I'll see you again!"

"I'll kill you!" Eva screamed, but stopped before Cody, and put her finger on his nose. "And if I find out you had anything to do with this, I'll kill you, too!"

Cody collapsed on Eva, putting his arms around her. "Believe me, I don't! Thank you for scaring her off!"

Eva looked confused, but then smiled slightly, and pat Cody's back. "You're welcome."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Eva: So, Sierra, is it? When I get my hands on her, she's going to regret having been born!

Sierra: (with her hands on her hips) I **don't **like Eva! I don't know why she was getting so jealous. I was only talking to my future husband. She totally needs to get over herself. (Sierra massages her forehead.) I really didn't want to have to talk to her, but I think I have to. (Sierra sighs.)

* * *

"And that's my plan for stopping Todd," Danielle said, smiling bright, with the rest of her teammates standing around her.

"It'll never work!" Ulysses yelled. "You're too stupid to come up with anything that'll work!"

Danielle grimaced. "I am not stupid! I'll have you know I am a genius! I have an immeasurably high IQ, I'll have you know!"

"So stupid you don't even know what it is," Ulysses said.

"IQ tests don't work well when you're as brilliant as I," Danielle said.

"This is war, damn it!" Ulysses barked, clenching his fists. "Women don't know anything about war, so stay out of it! We need a man to head this mission!"

"George is pretty smart," Yancy said, nodding.

"A real man, not a cripple!" Ulysses yelled. "He's almost as deadweight as the eye candy bimbo!"

"I have a name!" Danielle yelled, her face turning red. "And don't call him a cripple!"

"And I'm not deaf," George said, irritated.

"And what'cha gonna' do, hit me?" Ulysses yelled. "You can't even see where I am to hit!" Immediately, Ulysses was knocked to the ground, Danielle having kicked him off guard.

"But I can!" Danielle shouted, smirking, then putting her hands on her hips. "Let's leave him behind. We don't need someone so horrible."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I can't believe he just flat-out called George a cripple! I mean, sure, it's technically accurate, but it's just mean, and I hate mean people! (Danielle starts crying, and wipes her eyes, leaving smeared makeup around her eyes.)

Ophelia: Insert something related to Danielle knocking down Ulysses here to be edited in shortly after Danielle committed said act!

* * *

"Then shouldn't we leave you behind, too?" Yancy asked, confused.

Danielle blinked. "What?"

"Well, if we should leave him behind for being horrible, you're pretty horrible, too."

"I am not!" Danielle yelled, stomping her foot and clenching her fists. "I am a good person!"

"I thought you said you were bad," Yancy said. "Maybe I'm confused."

"Yes, you are," Danielle said, then shuddered. "And don't spy on me when I'm talking to other people. That's just creepy!"

"He's so good at creepy, though," Ophelia said, then went over to pinch Yancy's cheek. "Do you offer creepy lessons? I want to learn to be creepy from the best!"

"You're kinda' weird, m'lady," Yancy said, with a blank expression.

"Takes one to know one," Danielle muttered tapping her arm. "Seriously, now, let's get going and stop Todd from… Todding, I suppose." Danielle shrugged, then headed toward the cliff, with most of her teammates following, minus Ulysses.

"You'll never make it!" Ulysses yelled, as he started to get up. "You can't beat him! You're just a worthless girl!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ulysses: Who the hell does she think she is? When a superior officer gives you orders, you follow them! Canadians just don't have any respect for their military. That's why the international community hardly notices they exist, and why the US Armed Forces is tops!

* * *

"I have a plan," Mallory said to her teammates, outside the cabins.

"No," Rachel said. "We just climb up the cliff, take Todd out, and win. We don't need some overly elaborate plan for this. Although I would prefer for you to stay behind."

"Why?" Mallory asked, annoyed. "I'm capable, you know."

Rachel looked around suspiciously, then got close to her ear, cupping her hand around her mouth. "I don't know if you noticed this, but… well, you see… **I don't like you!**"

Mallory lost her footing for a moment before regaining it, then adjusted her glasses. "Yes, I do believe that I picked up on that."

"Really, let's try to get along, please?" Katrina asked, then turned to Mallory. "Rachel's not so bad, really."

"Compared to you, probably not," Mallory stated.

Rachel started tapping her chin. "Gee, I wonder how I could possibly dislike such a sweet girl as yourself."

"She hasn't done anything to you," Katrina said, toward Rachel. "Just leave her alone."

"If that's not an ironic echo, I don't know what is," Mallory said, rolling her eyes.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (wearing a devious smirk) Hello, I do believe I've found some entertainment.

* * *

Alistair put his hand on Mallory's shoulder, looking sincere as he shook his head, holding a pipe in his other hand. "I apologize for the astonishing animosity these appalling animals are administering."

Mallory looked up to Alistair and smiled. "Thank you!"

Rachel's eye twitched, then she motioned sticking her finger in her mouth. "Seriously? Alistair?"

Katrina nervously rubbed her boot against the ground. "He's kind of evil."

Mallory grinned, then glomped Alistair. "Good enough for me!" Alistair showed a devious grin toward Rachel and Katrina, without Mallory looking.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (nervously rubbing her arm) In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have mentioned the whole Alistair being evil thing, since there was little chance she was going to buy that coming from me.

Alistair: Mallory's a nitwit, there's no denying that, but she's prettier than Katrina or Xuxa. (Alistair shudders.) Hate mentioning that awful x-word! And besides, I am curious about this thing between Katrina and Mallory. Sounds like Katrina dished out some hilarious bullying toward her! (Alistair starts to chuckle.)

* * *

"Uh, Mallory?" Zack spoke up, raising his hand nervously. "Alistair really isn't very nice."

Alistair cringed, then hurried over and put his hand over his mouth. "Why, don't be silly!"

Mallory raised an eyebrow. "What is he talking about?"

"Well, he had me locked in the little shack here for a few days."

"No, Izzy left you in there," Alistair said. "You broke the rules, she left you in the Punishment Shack, quite simple, really."

"That's not what happened at all," Katrina said, narrowing her eyes toward Alistair.

"And that tells me everything," Mallory said, glaring at Katrina.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (smacking her forehead) I really need to learn when to shut up. (Katrina puts on a huge smile and holds her hands together in her lap.) Oh, I'm cursed with a love for talking!

Rachel: And if Mallory wants to trust that dirt bag, so what? Katrina really shouldn't care what happens to that loser.

* * *

"So up the hill, stop him, down the hill, we win, that simple," Rachel said.

Xuxa raised her hand. "I know you're smart and stuff, but when we get to the top, how are we going to stop him, exactly?"

"We outnumber him," Rachel said casually. "It's really that simple. He may call himself a super villain, but in the end, he is just a lone bully. And bullies must be crushed!" Rachel slammed her fist into the palm of her other hand, hard enough for her to hurt her other hand, which she started shaking in pain.

"Yes," Mallory agreed. "We should stop the bullies."

"Um… she's absolutely correct!" Alistair exclaimed. "Your little clique must be obliterated!"

"That's a little harsh," Mallory said. "Well, except for Katrina, anyway."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't like you, you don't like me, Alistair doesn't like anyone, no one likes Xuxa or that weird no-name kid-"

"Zack," Katrina stated.

"No one cares," Rachel said. "Point is, we don't like each other on this time, but we do share one thing in common: none of us wants to leave the island, and none of us wants to go to an elimination ceremony tonight, so get your butts in gear and **move it, **people!" Rachel marched off, and her teammates followed.

Xuxa blinked. "No one likes me?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: OK, look, I'm not a heartless monster. I was just making a point that Xuxa's a hideous freakish slob that no one likes. And I only like her because I'm not strong enough to fight my emotions when my logical brain tells me what a horrible person she is. (Rachel sighs.) I don't know how I'll get any respect if people think I'm nice.

* * *

Hank was at the top of the cliff, lounging in his folding chair, slurping an Icee. "How long does that thing take to power up, anyway?"

"Patience," Todd said, patting Hank on the head. "Patience, my minion. Evil takes time, but in the end, the result is always well worth it. Well, unless the good guys win, but even then, when one door closes, another one opens, and you just take that opportunity to concoct another evil scheme! Mwahahaha!" Todd looks around. "You know what really impresses the ladies?"

"What?" Hank asked, looking nervous.

"Hand-to-hand combat," Todd said. "Of course, you must never fight a girl. Then you'll just be known as the guy who beats on girls, and for reasons unknown, girls don't like that."

Hank gasped. "You mean girls don't like it when they get hurt? How truly shocking." Hank rolled his eyes.

"I know," Todd said, then sniffled. "I don't know why Betty Sue got that restraining order just because I threw a rock at her."

"A restraining order for that?" Hank asked. "Don't lots of little boys do that?"

"Well, it was a sixty pound rock," Todd said. "But that's not important. What's important is that, for some reason, though they don't like getting hurt themselves, they love watching the boys killing one another!"

"I'm not that good a fighter, though," Hank said.

"Then I shall teach you!" Todd exclaimed, punching Hank in the arm.

"Ow, that hurt!" Hank shouted, rubbing his arm.

Todd hung his head in shame and shook it. "Ow, that hurt"?

"Well, yeah," Hank said. "It kind of did."

"That's going to impress no one," Todd said. "When someone hits you, you hit them back. And as long as the teacher's back is turned, they'll never believe the tattletale when they inevitably tattle."

"I don't think it really counts as tattling if you're being beat up," Hank said.

"I don't claim to understand how the teacher's mind works," Todd said. "I just know how to exploit it for my own benefit. But if a guy strikes you, you strike back! Girls love to watch guys killing each other."

"But you're stronger than me," Hank said. "If we got in a fight, you'd win."

"This is true," Todd said, stroking his goatee. "But it doesn't really matter. Some girls will be naturally attracted to the victor, but others, for reasons I don't pretend to comprehend, will be attracted to the loser, for 'defending their honor,' or something lame like that."

"So either way, I get the girl," Hank said, smirking.

"Bingo," Todd said, cocking his finger at Hank. "Really, though, you do need some practice, so get ready!" Todd threw another punch at Hank.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (shaking his head) I must say that Hank truly does need my training. 'Cause between you and me, he's a pretty lousy fighter. Though on the upside, it was kind of funny to behold.

Hank: (holding an ice pack to his head) I'm trying to remember why I hang with Todd.  
Ophelia: (popping her head from beneath the chair, startling Hank) I'm pretty sure this was why! (Ophelia grabs Hank and smooches him on the lips, then she bears a huge grin.)  
Hank: Oh yeah… wait, are you in here listening to all of our confessionals?  
Ophelia: Not all of them. The Opheliabot often fills in for me when I'm not around.  
Hank: Um… the Opheliabot?

Xuxa: And she can be pretty mean sometimes, but I don't know… Rachel's not so bad, is she?  
Opheliabot: She's evil incarnate, and must be stopped.  
Xuxa: She can be nice, though! I probably just come on too strong.  
Opheliabot: Then you mustn't slay her and her perfect body, Ksuksa.  
Xuxa: (blinking) OK, that's the strangest anyone's ever tried pronouncing my name.

* * *

"Go away!" Gwen yelled, in her bedroom, as someone was knocking on her door. Sierra barged in anyway. "Izzy really needs to get that stupid lock fixed."

"Look, I don't like you, and you don't like me," Sierra said, irritated.

"Do I even know you?" Gwen asked, pissed.

"You know Cody, and that's more than enough," Sierra said, then started poking Gwen in the chest. "Stop trying to steal my Cody!"

"Um… agreed," Gwen said. "I won't try to steal Cody, I think I can keep that promise. Now will you leave?"

"But I had something important I needed to share with you," Sierra said. "Not that you really deserve my help."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember how the other day, you blurted out that you liked-"

"OK, I really don't want to be reminded of that," Gwen said. "I don't know what Danielle did, but-"

"But I do know what she did, that little Cody stealer!" Sierra growled, then pulled out a videotape from her pants. "I was kind of secretly videotaping Cody from beneath the tables, when I noticed Danielle."

"You kept that in your pants?" Gwen asked, a bit frightened.

"Well, Cody does it," Sierra said, shrugging. "I want you to watch this tape."

"We don't have a VCR in here, though," Gwen said.

"Don't worry," Sierra said, taking a VCR from out of her pants. "I brought one." Sierra hooked the VCR up to the TV, put the tape in, and played it. Sierra had indeed videotaped Danielle adding something to Gwen's drink. "I'm pretty sure that's the truth serum that the interns used the night before. It looks like the same bottle."

"OK, you know way too much," Gwen said. "And I knew that girl did something… urgh!" Gwen collapsed face down on her bed. "What did I ever do to her, anyway?"

"Well, you did try to steal Cody," Sierra said, irritated.

"No I didn't!" Gwen shouted.

"And you are trying to steal Duncan away from Courtney," Sierra said.

"But I'm not, I swear!" Gwen shouted. "Look, I do have this mad crush on Duncan, but I'd never try to steal him away from Courtney! She's a good person and, dare I say, a friend, and I'd never do that to a friend!"

"What if you and Duncan were all alone in the bathroom together?" Sierra asked, narrowing her eyes.

"What, no!" Gwen defended herself. "What kind of person would that make me?"

"A boyfriend stealer," Sierra stated.

"I don't do that," Gwen said. "And besides, I've got Trent. He may be a bit dorky and not as cool and hunky as Duncan, but he's a great guy!"

"Even though he's got a creepy obsession with the number nine?" Sierra asked.

"Uh, what?" Gwen asked, confused.

"I got that juicy tidbit from his first grade math teacher, but you didn't hear it from me." Sierra ejected the tape from the VCR, then handed it to Gwen. "Just remember your promise."

"My promise?"

Sierra slapped her own face in frustration. "I'm helping you out here, so hands off my Cody!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Sure. I'll try to keep that in mind."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Gwen: (smirking) It'll be tough, but I think I can manage to keep that promise.

* * *

"We aren't going to win without a plan," Veronica said, as she and most of Team Moon were slowly climbing up the thousand-foot cliff.

"Well, I don't see you coming up with one," Quincy grumbled.

"We're just walking to our doom," Veronica muttered.

"We already get that point," Quincy said, rolling his eyes.

"You don't usually get so angry," Nicole said. "Or talk, period."

"I'm growing wearing of her whining."

"So that's all you think of me," Vernoica said, then sighed. "Then again, I guess that's all I'm good for."

"That's not true," Nicole said, then glared at Quincy. "Some of us just need to have a bit more patience. Or all of us, really, I'm not exactly innocent. Where are Jennie and Stephanie, anyway, and why are they not helping us?"

"Probably hope that we lose so they can vote me off," Veronica said.

"It would be hard for me to argue that line of thinking about now," Quincy muttered.

Nicole glared at Quincy again, then smiled at Veronica. "Don't worry about him. We'll just climb up the cliff and… well, stop him, I guess."

"That'll work," Veronica said, defeated.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Why Quincy chose now to start talking, I have no idea. (Nicole sighs.)

Elizabeth: I was kind of hoping someone might remember I was part of their group… I don't know, I think they were a little nervous acknowledging that I was there too. And really, I felt bad for Veronica, but I can't imagine she was going to want to talk to someone she felt she knew liked killing people. (Elizabeth chuckles to herself.) I'm sorry for that, murder isn't funny.

* * *

"What if his plan is to kill us all?" Bridgette asked to Izzy in Izzy's trailer.

Izzy waved dismissively to Bridgette. "He won't do that. He's going to want people alive to rule over. He knows that if everyone's dead, he won't have anything else villainous he can do." Izzy scratched her head. "At least, I'm pretty sure he knows that. He doesn't seem that stupid, I don't think."

There was a knock on the door. "It's Gwen, can I come in?"

"Thank you for knocking, but no," Izzy said. "If you want in, you have to bust open the door!"

"You can come in!" Bridgette said nervously, as she opened the door, bringing Gwen in, who didn't look too happy. "I'm sorry, Gwen. I tried talking to Courtney about what happened, but you know how stubborn she is."

Gwen was rubbing her forehead. "This videotape shows what happened. Danielle somehow got her hands on the truth serum, which she poured into my drink, then she asked me about how I felt about Duncan. I swear, though, I could never hurt Courtney by stealing him!"

"I believe you," Bridgette said, smiling as she hugged her friend. "We'll probably need to show Courtney the tape, though. I really don't know why Courtney likes Danielle."

"I think it would be better for you to show Courtney," Gwen stated. "I don't think she really wants to see me right now."

"I'll talk to Courtney," Bridgette said, then turned her head to the side. "And Danielle."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I can't believe Danielle would do something like that! I mean, I knew Danielle was a mean girl, but still, why hurt Gwen like that for no reason? What was she hoping to gain from it?

Danielle: I just wanted Courtney not to hate me. Is that so wrong?  
Opheliabot: It doesn't get much more heinous than that, oh beautiful one.  
Danielle: Thank you, that's so sweet! (Danielle glomps Opheliabot.)  
Opheliabot: You're welcome, oh beautiful one.  
Danielle: And people say robots don't have feelings.  
Opheliabot: I have no idea what you are talking about.  
Danielle: Yeah, I'm not that stupid. You're weird even for Ophelia, but I like you anyway. You've got good taste programmed into you.

* * *

"You're the fastest catapult-builder I know!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Danielle, who rolled her eyes, then pushed Ophelia off, as they were about half a kilometer away from Todd and his lasinator.

"Cut that out! People are going to think things," Danielle said.

"It's a ridiculous plan," Ulysses said, tied up. "We should charge ahead and take him!"

"He's too strong, and he's expecting that," Danielle said.

"And by that, you mean completely unexpecting!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Danielle again, who once again, frustrated, pushed her off.

"No," Danielle said. "And yes, I got the reference. Anyway, it's quite simple: the catapult will fling the paper airplane far through the air, and it will land wedged in Todd's lasinator, causing the lasinator to overheat in its warm-up phase. Then, we head over to that catapult, much closer to them, active that one, which will fling the twenty-seven ton safe hurdling toward him, at which point we hurry over to lock the safe while deactivating the lasinator! It's brilliant! Brilliant!"

"Which of you is the diabolical mastermind again?" George asked, grinning.

"Not funny!" Danielle pouted.

"Won't the safe kill him?" George asked.

"Um, no. Haven't you ever listened to Chris' spiel at the beginning of the show? We're animated teens, blah blah blah, point is, worst that'll happen to Todd is having a headache after somehow winding up inside the safe."

"This is real life, though," George said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Oh yeah… George is blind, I guess he can't really see that we're animated characters. I really need to remember that.

Izzy: (contorting her face in confusion) I have no idea what she's talking about.

* * *

"Ack, hurry, they're ahead of us!" Rachel yelled, as she and her teammates rushed past Team Himalayas.

"They don't seem to be trying to beat us," Xuxa said, confused as she looked behind. "They're letting us win!"

"No they're not," Katrina said, narrowing her eyes toward Danielle, then turned to the rest of her team. "You guys go on without me!"

"Hope you know what you're doing!" Rachel shouted as she and the rest of her team charged toward Todd.

Todd yawned. "Looks like the supposed heroes have arrived. What ever shall I do?" Todd single-handedly started grabbing and throwing the teammates as they approached, looking bored. "It's a shame you got rid of the muscle on your team. Then I might have to break a sweat."

"Double team him!" Rachel yelled, as she and Xuxa charged together, but Todd, once again, threw them as if it were nothing.

"Hank, can you deal with Alistair and Percy?" Todd asked. "I think you could use some street cred."

Hank nodded, then leapt for Alistair, who had little trouble pushing him away, though Hank did prove to be enough of a distraction that Alistair was now going after him.

"I'm not done with you, pipsqueak!" Alistair shouted.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: (with a black eye) I hope all the ladies were watching. Or at least the ones that'll feel sorry for me and comfort me after that.

* * *

Danielle's eye was twitching. "OK, change of plans, he'll be too distracted to notice the paper airplane. But he is fighting off all the girls in one spot, so all I need to do is adjust the other catapult slightly, and he'll be done in by the safe!"

"He's beating on girls," Ophelia said, disgusted. "I don't like him anymore. But then, I didn't like him before, so it's a moot point."

"I told you girls were puny and weak!" Ulysses barked. "I wasn't lying, but you girls are too stupid to notice!"

"I'm not a girl," George said, irritated.

"No, you're a cripple, which is just as bad and useless!" Ulysses screamed.

"Don't listen to him," Danielle said, smiling. "You're our cripple!"

"Um, could you not call me that?" George asked.

"Oh," Danielle said, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I just thought… I was… I'm sorry. But we need to go to Plan B now! Adjust the other catapult to hit Todd with the safe!"

"It looks like the safe fell out of the catapult," Ophelia said, standing beside the other catapult. "And it looks broken, like someone already used it."

Danielle's eye started twitching again. "What?"

"See?" Ophelia said, holding up the cut rope. "The rope's been cut." Danielle started screaming in fury.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (standing, stomping her foot) It's not fair, it's not fair, **it's not fair!**

* * *

Todd was yawning as he threw off the five Team Amazon members all at once, along with Hank, who Alistair was holding on to at the time. "You all are pathetic. You really thought you could just charge at me and beat me? I laugh. Ha, ha, ha!" Todd grabbed Rachel and spit in her face. "And I spit at you, too!"

Rachel's face contorted in disgust, but she smirked after she heard frightened, loud screaming from behind, getting closer and closer. "Katrina!"

Todd suddenly looked really nervous as Katrina was zooming through the air, straight at him. "Oh, sh-"

Katrina knocked Todd down, who was moaning in pain. "I win!" Katrina smugly poked her finger at Todd's nose. "You lose." Todd immediately grabbed Katrina's hand, who started wincing in pain. "You're hurting me."

"**I know**," Todd said darkly. "That was a mistake on your part, but I am not that easy to take down."

"Um, should you be doing that?" Hank asked. "I mean, she is a girl."

"I don't care about keeping up that kind of image," Todd said. "I don't appreciate attempts on my life like that!"

"I'm not fond of this either, really," Katrina said, scared.

Todd started cackling. "Well soon, you will be much less smug about-ow!" Todd yelped, after having Rachel's shoe thrown at his face. "That really hurt!"

"Leave her alone!" Rachel yelled.

"Or what?" Todd asked.

"Or… well, I have another shoe!"

"So do I!" Xuxa exclaimed. "Just… just let me untie them."

"Pathetic," Todd said, then started cackling, but before he knew it, his lasinator was falling over the side of the cliff, leaving him to let go of Katrina, and acting like a blubbering idiot. "Wha… what?"

"That worked!" Stephanie screamed, as she climbed up the vertical part of the cliff, with mountain climbing gear, after she got up, she gave Jennie a hand to get up. "I told you it would work!"

"Didn't I agree with you?" Jennie asked, annoyed. "I wouldn't have come along if I didn't think it'd work. I can't believe you can mountain climb, though! Kind of refreshing, enjoying nature like that."

"My lasinator!" Todd cried. "You destroyed my lasinator!"

"Well, I need to keep strong somehow," Stephanie said. "Nice to try it out on an actual mountain, though. Or at least something that's like a mountain."

"**You destroyed my lasinator!**" Todd screamed, then lunged toward Stephanie and Jennie. Stephanie and Jennie screamed, and Stephanie started slapping the air in front of her. When she struck Todd, he immediately halted. "I've been hit!"

"What?" Rachel asked, stunned.

"Ow… ooh, that was quite the blow!" Todd proclaimed, as he started staggering around. "Stephanie hit me, and I'm going down!"

"You're kidding," Rachel said.

"Tell my mom… that I loved her!" Todd collapsed to the ground, then took a lily from his pocket to hold above his fallen body.

"I think we won," Jennie said, then smiled at Stephanie, who smiled back. "We won!" The two girls hugged each other, then immediately let go when they realized who they were hugging.

"If the rest of our teammates ever get up here, we don't mention that," Stephanie said, embarrassed.

"Agreed," Jennie said.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: OK, I no longer like Katrina very much after that… not that I could ever like someone so pure and good anyway, but in the end, my evil plan succeeded! The lasinator wasn't some deadly laser-those are hard to make-but just an ordinary laser that would've put on a pretty light show at night. No, the real evil plan was to take a dive to ensure victory for my own team, which, I might add, was successful on my part! Mwahahaha!

Katrina: (smiling bright, holding her hands in her lap) Rachel's so sweet, really. She isn't much of a fighter, and couldn't really take on Todd, but I really appreciate her concern!

Stephanie: You know, Jennie wouldn't be so bad if she weren't such a know-it-all control freak who insists we all become fruititarians. (Stephanie shudders.)

* * *

"You're kidding," Danielle said as she arrived to see the fallen Todd, then yelled at Stephanie. "You barely touched him!"

Stephanie started rubbing her own forearm. "I guess I don't know my own strength! Besides, you owe me one for saving your butt the other night."

Danielle frustratedly nodded. "And I shall stop complaining now." Danielle walked over to Katrina, helping her up. "Are you OK?"

"I've been better," Katrina said. "Thank you."

"Well that's good," Danielle said. "You sabotaged my team!"

Katrina rolled her eyes. "I was trying to lead our team to victory!"

"By sabotaging me!"

"I suppose, technically, yes," Katrina said. "I'm sorry. Look, if I'm needed for tonight's tiebreaker, I'll save you, OK?" Danielle just grumbled.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: (with her arm crossed over her chest) Sabotage, of course. Just shows what kind of person Katrina always was, and still is.

Katrina: In the heat of the moment, I just kind of thought immediately what I could do to bring our team to victory. I saw the catapult, got an idea, and… I was really, really surprised it didn't work. I guess that's karma for me. I'm sorry, Danielle.

Danielle: Oh, I will get revenge on you for that, Danielle. I will get revenge, and I know just how to do it! (Danielle grows an evil smirk on her face.)

* * *

"And it looks like Team Moon is the winner!" Izzy exclaimed, shortly after she and Bridgette got out of a helicopter. "They stopped Todd and have won!"

"Todd took a dive for his own team!" Rachel yelled. "That shouldn't count!"

"They're cheaters!" Danielle yelled.

"Don't call us cheaters!" Stephanie yelled back. "We knew nothing of this! It's not our fault, so don't blame the rest of us for Todd's actions!"

"We deserved to win, though!" Rachel demanded.

"**I **deserved to win!" Danielle disagreed. "The only reason you came anywhere close to winning was because Katrina stole **my **catapult!"

"Shoulda' woulda' coulda'," Izzy said, waving dismissively to Danielle. "Point is, Team Moon won, and Team Amazon, thanks to Katrina, easily came second closest to stopping Todd. Which means your team, Danielle, has once again come in last place."

"It's hard for me to feel bad for you," Bridgette said, glaring at Danielle, confused by Bridgette's anger.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: As much as Yancy creeps me out-(Danielle shudders)-he's not the intolerable bigot that Ulysses is! Seriously, **those **are the traits he admires about the US Army?

Ulysses: As much as I hate Ophelia for thinking she's better than me, I have to vote for Danielle, who thinks she's even more better than me, even though we lost because of her stupid pitiful girl mind! Like a girl could really lead men into battle!

Ophelia: Hmm… this is tough. What do you think?  
Opheliabot: I'd vote for Danielle.  
Ophelia: What? Danielle? She's my friend!  
Opheliabot: Haven't you read that story with Nicole Barrington?  
Ophelia: I thought it was Nicole Thorenson.  
Opheliabot: That's not important. In that story, she was just pretending to be friends with that weird girl, but she was just pretending to be friends, but she was really evil.  
Ophelia: (waving her hand dismissively) You're pretty stupid for a robot. I'm voting for Ulysses.

* * *

That night, the six remaining members of Team Himalayas were seated in their chairs around the campfire, while Bridgette stood with a plate of alphabet blocks, next to Izzy, who was behind her podium. "Good evening," Izzy said. "You're really good at losing, you know!"

"Come on, Izzy," Bridgette said. "The challenge was a little unfair."

"Well, I can see that now," Izzy said. "Really, I had no idea what Todd's evil scheme was."

"He's a villain, what did you expect?" Ulysses yelled. "That's what you get for putting a woman in charge of the show! Get Chris back here!"

Izzy started gnashing her teeth. "You have all cast your votes. The one of you who received the most votes will not receive an alphabet block, which means you must immediately leave the island, and you can never come back… unless you do. Who can tell, really?"

"Figures a stupid woman wouldn't know!" Ulysses yelled.

"I almost wish Eva were here about now," Bridgette said, with her arms cross over her chest.

"I could take her on!" Ulysses yelled, putting up his fists. "Don't underestimate my strength!"

"Yet poor little me knocked you down earlier," Danielle said, putting a finger to her mouth with an innocent smile.

"I wasn't ready!" Ulysses screamed.

"It'd be a shame if such a colorful character lost, but I must abide by the votes," Izzy said. "If I call your name, please come up to collect your block."

"Ophelia."

"Now come on!" Ulysses yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "She doesn't deserve to be safe!"

Izzy blinked, then scratched her head. "You didn't even vote for her, so why are you so shocked?"

"Still ain't right, that girl," Ulysses said, pouting.

Ophelia put on a wide grin, then skipped over to Ulysses, and licked his left hand, leaving him looking disturbed. "Ooh, that's left. Guess I'm not right after all!"

"Stop that!" Ulysses screamed.

Izzy cleared her throat. "If I may continue."

"George."

"Bob."

"Yancy."

Danielle gulped nervously. "Why do you always save me for last?"

"You're always one of the top two vote-getters," Izzy said. "Arguably deservedly."

"She doesn't deserve to lose," Ophelia said.

"Maybe not tonight, at least," Bridgette said, glaring at Ulysses. "I'm really not liking Ulysses very much."

"I don't think anyone is, really," Izzy said. "As it is, though, we had another tie!"

"I'm screwed," Danielle said, holding her hands nervously in her lap. "I don't suppose Stephanie got to cast the tiebreaking vote again."

"Nope," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Anyway, that person cast their vote, and the final alphabet block goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Danielle." Ulysses had a look of shock immediately before being ejected high into the sky, screaming along the way, while Danielle pranced over to Bridgette to receive her alphabet block.

"I want to speak with you after this," Bridgette said, sounding serious, as she handed Danielle her block. Danielle put on a nervous smile.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (crying) What ever happened to Bridgette being the nicest contestant? She's evil! Pure, vile, unfiltered evil!

* * *

"How could you do that?" Bridgette yelled at Danielle, inside the Punishment Shack.

"Um… I'm not going to be locked in here, am I?" Danielle asked, nervous.

"What? Oh, no, don't worry," Bridgette said, embarrassed. "I just wanted to go someplace where we could have a little privacy."

"Anyway, Gwen deserves it," Danielle said. "She's such a disgusting person."

"Why?" Bridgette asked. "Why do you dislike her so much?"

"She was a bully toward Heather, who's really pretty, but less pretty than I," Danielle said, clenching to her own hair.

"Heather was pretty mean to Gwen," Bridgette said.

":Well of course she was," Danielle said, as if it were obvious. "We all saw how Gwen treated Heather! Why should Heather have to be nice back?"

"Gwen just wanted to be left alone," Bridgette said. "Why couldn't Heather just leave her alone like she wanted?"

Danielle looked around nervously, then calmed herself before answering. "She's a freak. Heather didn't make her a freak. She's a freak by choice and proud of it!"

"So?" Bridgette asked, getting more annoyed.

"She shouldn't do that!" Danielle shouted. "It's not normal!"

"Ophelia isn't normal," Bridgette said. "How would you-"

"Take that back!" Danielle yelled. "How could you say that about her?"

Bridgette blinked. "I thought Ophelia liked being not normal."

"But it's mean," Danielle said.

"Look, I like Ophelia," Bridgette said. "More than you, even."

Danielle started tearing up. "I'm sorry, Bridgette. I just didn't want Courtney to hate me."

"Why would Courtney have hated you?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"The truth serum," Danielle said. "Alyssa got me to confess my crush on Duncan, so I had to throw the heat onto someone else, which worked, I might add."

"Do you really think Courtney was going to hate you just because of something you said when you were drugged?" Bridgette asked.

"Well, she hates Gwen, so yes," Danielle said.

"OK, good point," Bridgette said, then crossed her arms. "You know, maybe I could've helped if you came to me, instead of… well, instead of what you did."

"But you hate me," Danielle said, crying more. "I don't know why you hate me, but you wouldn't have helped."

Bridgette bit her lip. "OK, you're probably right. You're kind of mean to most of us."

Danielle pouted. "I'm not mean! I'm a good person! A perfect person… I try to be a perfect person." Danielle started sobbing. "You're not going to tell Courtney, are you?"

Bridgette shook her head. "You're going to tell Courtney."

"Why would I do that?" Danielle shouted. "I'd have to be crazy to do that!"

"It's called doing the right thing," Bridgette said. "Look, if you do the right thing, I'll try to help with Courtney, key word there being try. And if Courtney hates you, I'll try to tolerate you. If you don't tell her, then I will, and I won't feel bad about it."

Danielle continued crying. "I hate you!"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Percy: Danielle's the hottest chick here! She's kinda' bossy, but if I vote for her, there's no chance she'll sleep with me, so yeah. Ulysses, you're out.

**

* * *

**

**Votes**

Bob: Danielle  
Danielle: Ulysses  
George: Ulysses  
Ophelia: Ulysses  
Ulysses: Danielle  
Yancy: Danielle  
Tiebreaker (Percy): Ulysses

Ulysses: 3 (4)  
Danielle: 3

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Percy, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Bob, Danielle, George, Ophelia, Yancy  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis, Ulysses

* * *

And Ulysses is gone. The most surprising thing to me is that he had fans, since I never liked him, and never expected anyone else to like him, but I guess you never can tell how other people will wind up feeling about someone.


	16. Day 8, Part 1: The Trampoline

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 16: Day 8: Part 1: The Trampoline**

"Did you catch the homework assignment for Mr. Schumacher's class?" a pretty teenaged blonde asked, walking down the street earlier in the day, alongside her noticeably obese friend.

The bigger girl rolled her eyes. "Yes, I got it, and I don't understand a lick of it."

"I didn't ask if you understood it," the blonde said, waving her hand dismissively. "My Dad can feed the answers to me. He actually understands this algebra doohickey. I'll let you copy it right before school."

"It seems so stupid, grading our homework," the bigger girl said. "Punish people for trying to legitimately practice because they did it wrong. Woo." The girl weakly pumped her fist into the air, and the blonde giggled.

"It's win-win for us, anyway. We both pass, and eventually, school will be over and we will never touch math again for as long as we both shall live."

"Amen to that," the bigger girl said, sounding relieved, as the two walked up to her front door. "Thanks for walking home with me."

"Aww," the blonde said, looking embarrassed. "You say that every day."

"I mean it every day, really," the bigger girl said, taking out her key to the front door. "Really, I couldn't ask for a better friend."

"Believe me, I'm not a saint," the blonde said, looking down and rubbing her foot against the sidewalk. "I mean, you know I told you-"

"Yes, yes, you've told me, and it's OK, really," the bigger girl said, smiling bright. "See you tomorrow!"

"You too, and I'll have the homework for you to copy!" the blonde exclaimed, waving frantically as the bigger girl entered the house. The blonde started walking away, but started walking faster when she heard a rustling noise nearby.

Inside the bigger girl's house, the girl hugged someone who looked like a very pretty young mother. "I'm home!"

"Did you have a good day today?" the older woman asked.

The teenager shrugged. "I've had worse."

"Don't really want to talk about it, I see," the woman said, nodding her head. "Well, I'm making my famous pizza tonight for dinner!"

The teenager smiled bright. "You haven't made that in forever!"

The woman grinned. "I made it last week."

"It felt like forever," the teenager said. "I always look forward to it."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: You know something that's always amazed me about reality shows? How somehow, the people who edit the confessionals into the show always know the perfect spot to insert them! It's like, they've got psychic powers, knowing exactly where they should go!

* * *

"Really," Rachel said, sitting in her pastel green pajamas on the floor of her second place cabin with Xuxa and Katrina at night. "I'm not interested in anyone."

"Not even Alistair?" Xuxa asked, batting her eyelids, and holding her hands together.

"Eww, no!" Rachel said, reeling back in disgust. "He's awful! Needlessly cruel and antagonistic-"

"Like you?" Xuxa asked, smirking.

Rachel laughed, then waved dismissively to Xuxa. "You need to show assertiveness to get far in the game. Or in life. It's dog eat dog out there. Only the strong survive, and that's even more important for us women."

"You're kind of a little mean sometimes, though," Xuxa said.

"Some people deserve it," Rachel said. "If someone's out to get you, then you need to bite back and show that person that you are not to be trifled with!"

"And calling me ugly and fat?" Xuxa asked, sounding hurt.

Rachel nervously tugged at her hair. "Well, again, going after the same guy?"

"You still call me those names," Xuxa said.

Rachel sighed, then smiled, patting Xuxa's knee. "You're right. You're my friend… ish now, and I shouldn't do that to you. It's just that you're… um… well, I'm kind of a bitch. I'm sorry."

"You're not that bad, really," Katrina said, smiling slightly.

"No, I'm pretty bad," Rachel said. "So many people just deserve it, though! Urgh! Why are people so stupid?"

"A lot of people do things without thinking about their behavior in relation to other people's well being," Katrina stated matter-of-factly. "And a lot of people just don't care, as long as they're getting pleasure themselves. Having said all of that, you'll allow Mallory to sleep in here without giving her a difficult time, I do so hope I can count on you to do that."

"She's one of the stupid people, but fine," Rachel said, somewhat pouty. "If she doesn't talk to me, I won't talk to her."

"Thanks," Katrina said, smiling bright as she stood up and walked toward the door. "I ever so hope we can all become friends at some point."

"I don't care to be friends with someone like her," Rachel said.

"Well, we'll just take that one day at a time," Katrina said. "You may soon see that she really isn't so bad."

"I'm doubting that," Rachel muttered. "But fine, if it makes you happy, blah blah blah, whatever."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (shaking her head) So naïve. I swear, Katrina is lucky to have as good a friend as I.

* * *

"Come in!" Jennie called out, sitting on her bed, smiling, upon hearing someone knock on the door to her room in the luxury cabin. Her smile fell when Stephanie entered the room, though. "You are not who I was expecting, to be honest."

"That's nice," Stephanie said. "I thought I would extend my hand and hope you would accept. It occurs to me that you are not as valuable a member of this team as I am, but still, second place, whether I like it or not."

Jennie raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, that's some apology."

"It wasn't an apology," Stephanie muttered. "I simply believe it to be mutually beneficial for you and me to watch each others backs, in the unlikely event of Team Moon losing its first challenge."

"Yeah," Jennie said, tracing her finger on her bed sheet. "I think I'll pass."

"It's good for us both!" Stephanie yelled. "You protect my butt, I protect yours, and try to get rid of you shortly before the finals!"

"I don't really like you much," Jennie said. "I'd rather not have to rely on you." Another person was knocking on Jennie's door. "Come in!" she exclaimed.

Elizabeth slowly entered the room, though looked noticeably worried when she saw Stephanie in the room. "Should I come back later?" she asked.

"She was leaving," Jennie said.

"What is she doing here?" Stephanie complained.

"We're having a bit of a slumber party," Jennie said, irritated. "I would appreciate you leaving us alone."

"A slumber party with her?" Stephanie yelled.

"I can come back," Elizabeth said, nervous, holding up a finger.

"I don't want you to leave," Jennie said. "I just want her to leave."

"I can't leave you alone with her!" Stephanie said, nervous. "What kind of friend would that make me?"

"A slightly less worse one," Jennie muttered.

"How about I force her out," Elizabeth said, pounding her fists together.

"OK, OK, I'm leaving, sheesh!" Stephanie shouted. "See if I help you again!" Stephanie deliberately and angrily stormed out the room, slamming the door on her way out. Jennie looked confused.

Elizabeth was smirking, then turned to Jennie. "You can thank me."

Jennie smiled bright. "Thank you. God, is she annoying!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: You see why I don't have friends? You see? I try to protect someone from a psychopathic killer, and this is the thanks I get!

* * *

Jennie was laughing on her bed, while Elizabeth was sitting on the floor, both in nightwear. "You know, I've been wondering about the pink hair," Jennie said. "Maybe I should dye my hair pink, too."

"Bah, no!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "We'd look like twins! Maybe green… I mean, you like environmenty stuff, right? Green fits you."

"Can we please not say 'environmenty'?" Jennie asked. "I'd rather you not belittle that issue."

"Sorry," Elizabeth said. "I know it's important to you."

"And I wish it were important to everyone else, too," Jennie said. "I mean, yeah, I know you've got bigger things on your mind."

"It's OK," Elizabeth said. "So, did you prepare any snacks?"

"Oh, yes," Jennie said, pulling out some black squares from her drawer. "I've prepared these for us, and I hope you like!"

Elizabeth smiled as she took one of the squares and bit into it, and immediately made a face. She looked like she wanted to vomit, but after chewing on it for about a minute, she swallowed it. "Well, it's… different. Probably good to adjust to this sort of food."

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad," Jennie said, waving dismissively to Elizabeth as she bit into one herself, and almost immediately spit it out. "OK, I'm not making those again, that was terrible!" Jennie sighed. "I wish I could help you with your case."

"Thanks," Elizabeth said. "I really don't know what you could do, though."

"Neither do I," Jennie said. "Wish I had the money to hire someone for you. Wish I knew who could help."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (hugging a large wad of money) Oh, how I love thee. Let me count the ways. One hundred dollars, two hundred dollars, three hundred dollars, hee hee hoo ha! (Loud thunder immediately sounds, startling Rachel.) OK, what am I, the Count? What's with the thunder on a clear night?

Jennie: (mushing her hair) You know, it might be nice to try green hair… or maybe rainbow hair! I love the beauty of a rainbow! (Jennie shrugs.) Maybe I'll try that some day.

* * *

Stephanie was walking in the hallway, when she saw Nicole sitting outside Veronica's room, and Stephanie inwardly groaned. "Just say you want to kiss and make out with her already," Stephanie said."

"Um, I don't," Nicole said. "I really don't like that assumption, that I just want to jump on every girl I see."

"I don't assume that," Stephanie said. "But the way you stalk Veronica, keep trying to impress her over and over again even when she pushes you away, what else am I supposed to think?"

Nicole laughed a little. "OK, fair point, at least in this case, but I really don't have a thing for her. At least, I don't think."

"So who do you like?" Stephanie asked, sitting down next to Nicole.

"Um… this whole being nice thing is kind of scaring me a bit," Nicole said.

"Glad to know what people think of me," Stephanie said, rolling her eyes. "But really, that's just one of those questions people ask, though heaven knows why."

"A lot of people are just curious about love, and girlfriends, and boyfriends, and such things," Nicole said.

"I don't pretend to understand it," Stephanie said.

"I can trust you to keep a secret, right?" Nicole asked. "I mean, I know you're kind of grumpy, but I don't see you blabbing secrets to everyone."

"You're about to tell me who you're crushing on, aren't you?" Stephanie asked.

Nicole touched her two pointer fingers together nervously. "Well, I just feel I have to tell someone. It's just kind of hard to keep it to myself."

"I promise I don't really care enough to blab," Stephanie said.

Nicole blushed and looked down, with her feet in front of her swaying side to side. "Well, Katrina just seems kind of perfect."

"And you want me to figure out if she might like girls, I suppose," Stephanie said, rubbing her chin.

Nicole blinked. "I didn't mean that, actually. I just really really wanted to share with someone."

Stephanie put her arm around Nicole. "Look, I'll help you if you help me."

Nicole looked at Stephanie suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"

"You and I watch each other's backs in this competition," Stephanie said. "In return, I will try to find information about Katrina. I shall feel her out for you, and report to you whether she may be interested in you or not."

"You make it sound so personal," Nicole said, resting her head in the palm of her hand, being propped up by her knee.

"I'm not a love expert," Stephanie said. "I probably understand it less than anyone else here."

"Even Todd?" Nicole asked, smirking. "I'm doubting it."

"I'm sure Todd's studied his enemy well," Stephanie said. "He's smart enough to study his enemy. I simply have little interest in it."

"I really should just talk to her, though," Nicole said. "You know, walk up to her, say 'hi, I'm Nicole'… OK, that makes it sound like I'm in first grade."

"OK, now I'm questioning whether you're truly Canadian or not," Stephanie said. "First grade, really?"

"Well, I watch a lot of American TV shows," Nicole said. "You just kind of learn things like that from TV."

Stephanie laughed a bit. "You know, it used to always bother me when I'd watch _The Price Is Right, _how they had that game called 'Check Game,' and how none of the idiots ever understood the rules to the game… but I'm getting off track. I just cringed that they had to spell the name of the game with a c-k instead of a q-u-e. Just bothered me so much."

"Well, it's an American TV show," Nicole said.

"And the worst part is, since it's a proper name, if I spelled it the proper way, I'd be the one who's wrong," Stephanie said. "It would be like if I ran into some stupid girl named Stefanie who spelled it with an f instead of a p-h, I'd be spelling it wrong if I spelled her name with a p-h! Seriously, what kind of parents who do something so demeaning to a child?"

"Does it really matter that much?" Nicole asked. "Maybe they just like the f spelling better?"

"It's a stupid spelling," Stephanie muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, as long as they're nice, it's not that important," Nicole said, smiling.

"It's important to me," Stephanie said, then sighed. "I'm sorry for going off on a rant like that. I'll find out what I can about Katrina for you."

"Thanks," Nicole said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Nicole can be surprisingly tolerable to converse with. And since Jennie seems to despise me for reasons I do not quite comprehend, Nicole's assistance may be necessary.

Nicole: (holding her clenched hands up to her mouth, squeeing for a moment) Ooh, I really hope Stephanie finds out she likes me. (Nicole calms herself down, motioning her hand down her face.) OK, calm down, Katrina's just an ordinary girl with faults, just like everyone else. (Nicole's large smile comes back.)

* * *

In the middle of the night, Rachel woke up from a nice sleep, with her stomach rumbling. Rachel grew an uncomfortable look on her face, and still in her pajamas, got out of her bed. She looked over at Xuxa, and winced upon seeing her unflattering position. She then spotted Mallory and shuddered, then went over to walk out the door. Rachel was headed toward the bathroom, but was stopped short after being hit by a huge mud ball, knocking her to the ground.

"**Ee**-" Rachel started to scream, but quickly stopped herself, covering her mouth with her hands.

"My, you look divine tonight," Todd said, stepping out from behind a nearby bush. "I hope you enjoyed your mud bath! Mwahahahaha!"

"Do you have any idea how disgusting this is?" Rachel yelled quietly.

"But of course," Todd said, protruding his chest. "Why do you think I did it?"

"You're despicable," Rachel said. "Seriously, who does that?"

Todd shifted his eyes around, then cupped his hand around his mouth, and started to whisper. "I don't know if you noticed, but, uh… come closer."

"So you can scream 'I'm evil' at maximum volume into my ear, no thanks, I'll pass," Rachel said, rolling her eyes as she started walking toward the bathroom once more.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (looking scared, but cleaned up, and in a pair of pink pajamas) And I will forever be paranoid walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night now.

* * *

"No," Bridgette stated flatly, standing in a chicken pen, right at sunrise, alongside Izzy. "No."

"Aww, come on, Bridge," Izzy pleaded, with a puppy dog pout on her face.

Bridgette crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away. "No."

"But it'll be fun!" Izzy pleaded.

"I doon't know about fun," Ezekiel said, standing behind the camera. "It's not so bad, though! I took down a moose before!"

"Thank you for reminding me," Bridgette said, shuddering. "I really don't want to be here for this, so I'm leaving. I'll be back tomorrow."

Izzy pouted, and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, fine! **Be **that way!"

"What's with all the chickens?" Lindsay asked, pausing as she passed by.

"Lindsay!" Izzy exclaimed, then hopped on over to grab her, and carried Lindsay into the chicken pen with her. "Perfect!" Bridgette rolled her eyes, then made her way out of the chicken pen.

"Ew, ew, ew!" Lindsay cried out, looking at her boot, which looked like it had stepped in something. "These birds are so gross!"

"But they're chickens," Izzy said. "You've eaten chicken before, right?"

"Of course," Lindsay said. "But the chickens I ate weren't animals, they were just meat."

"They're actually the same," Izzy said.

Lindsay laughed. "You're funny! These chickens don't look at all like the chicken Mom cooks!"

"Well, these chickens haven't been cooked yet," Izzy said. Lindsay just gave Izzy a confused look. "Anyway, last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _Todd had free reign to commit whatever evil scheme he wanted!" Izzy hung her head in shame. "And unfortunately, his evil scheme was simply to cheat to allow Team Moon to win. I promise I did not see that one coming."

"You should have," Lindsay said, rubbing one pointer finger against the other to Izzy. "I mean, he's a bad guy, right? Isn't that what bad guys do?"

"I don't know," Izzy said. "I thought he was just planning world domination, or Tri-State area domination, or something."

Lindsay put her finger to her lips. "Does Canadia have a Tri-State area?"

"Anyway, Todd cheated, which ultimately led Team Moon to victory, though Stephanie and Jennie certainly weren't slouches," Izzy said. "And I'm amazed they were able to work together so well, really."

"It didn't seem right," Lindsay said, twisting her hair.

"It was allowed as per the rules," Izzy said. "Courtney and I discussed it, and she wasn't really happy about it, but my hands were tied."

"Maybe it was a bad challenge in the first place," Lindsay said.

"Yes, yes, I get that now. Izzy's sorry." Izzy hugged Lindsay and sniffled, looking up at her. "You forgive Izzy, right?"

"Of course," Lindsay said, smiling bright, patting Izzy on the head.

"It was a bad idea on Izzy's part, but what's done is done," Izzy said, almost sounding too happy. "Team Himalayas, as usual, came in last place, and Ulysses' homophobia and sexism cost him, as his team booted him out, and he became the show's sixth casualty. Will anyone on Team Himalayas make it to the merge? Will there even be a merge?"

"Isn't Merge related to Jennifer?" Lindsay asked, looking confused as usual.

"Who?"

"You know," Lindsay said. "Merge Simpson? Isn't she related to Jennifer Simpson and Amanda Simpson? It always confuses me."

"None of those people really exist," Izzy said. "Not famous people with those names, at least. But there are still twenty contestants remaining. Who will be the next one to be voted off, and lose that chance at a million dollars? Find out, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

* * *

"Hey, Courtney!" Danielle exclaimed early that morning, seeing Courtney passing by in the morning, though Courtney quickly stopped in her tracks.

"Hi, Danielle," Courtney said, smiling. "I was just headed over to start on breakfast. I'm getting better! But I wanted to talk to you about something."

Danielle looked guilty. "You did."

"Yes," Courtney said, looking irritated, folding her arms across her chest and tapping one arm with a finger. "I heard about you did."

"Oh," Danielle said, then started bawling her eyes out and squeezing Courtney's waist. "I'm sorry!"

"You're sorry," Courtney said, trying to push Danielle off of her.

"Yes!" Danielle cried out. "I didn't mean to do it! I was practically forced to do it!"

"I know," Courtney said. "I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed that you thought I'd be mad. I understand that mistakes happen."

Danielle started crying lighter, and let go of Courtney. "Really? But it was so horrible what I did!"

"It wasn't your fault, though," Courtney said, patting Danielle on the head. "I mean, what kind of person would I be if I stayed mad at you over that?"

"Better than me, I suppose," Danielle said, sniffling.

Courtney shrugged. "No one's perfect, but you're still almost perfect."

Danielle smiled. "You're right! Thank you!" Danielle glomped Courtney, who once again tried to push her off.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (wiping a tear from her eye) I really can't believe Courtney would forgive me so easily for doing that to Gwen! Courtney, you really are the best!

Courtney: (smiling, holding her hands together in her lap) Seriously, it wasn't that big of a deal. I understand that Alyssa spiked her drink with truth serum, and then asked her a highly inappropriate question. And I know Danielle likes Duncan, but still, I trust her to stay away from him. (Courtney starts glaring at the camera.) Though I am going to have a serious talk to Alyssa about the situation. I am not very pleased with her at the moment.

* * *

At breakfast, everyone was in the dining room, eating breakfast or waiting for breakfast. And Stephanie was at a table with Katrina.

"Why are you here?" Katrina asked, as Sadie put a plate of fried eggs, bacon, and toast before her. "I mean, I don't mind, but we've never really talked before."

"I just wanted to get to know you," Stephanie said, eating a sweet crêpe. "Oh, this is delicious!"

Katrina tried to cut a strip of blackened bacon with her fork and knife, though it promptly crumbled into dust. "I'm suspecting mine is less so, but I can't be sure if I can't actually taste it."

"You seem pretty nice from a distance, at least," Stephanie said. "Well, now, at least."

"Oh, yes," Katrina said, as she used a napkin to pick up the other bacon strip, though it also immediately turned to dust upon touch. "I don't think I'm getting breakfast this morning-oh yeah, and I was kind of hoping past events wouldn't come up, but since they did, I guess I have to address them. It's hard to escape one's past."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: I'm not sure why we usually just eat with our own teammates anyway. There's no actual rule requiring it, and frankly, most of my teammates are horrid! There's Todd, obviously, and Elizabeth, but also Jennie, who I hate to admit is competent, but I cannot stand her holier-than-thou attitude, and Hank, who's just creepy, and Veronica, who's just, well, Veronica. And frankly, if you're in love with someone, it might as well be with a person with whom there is no risk of producing a baby. I have no idea why anyone would want a baby. Just gets in the way of one's goals.

Xuxa: I don't know why Katrina was hanging out with Stephanie and Nicole this morning… I mean, aren't me and Rachel good enough for her? (Xuxa wipes a tear from her eye.)

Rachel: (narrowing her eyes) I don't trust that Stephanie. Talking to the enemy for no reason, trying to gather intel… no, I do not trust her for one moment.

* * *

Danielle was sitting with Ophelia and George, trying to lift some grey glop with her fork, but she couldn't seem to separate it from the rest of it. "Look at Katrina! I mean, really!"

"Yeah, I see," George said. "Trying unsuccessfully to eat overcooked bacon, toast, and eggs."

"I thought you were blind," Danielle said.

"I can smell the food," George said. "And I can hear people fighting with their eggs. And this glop we have in front of it. What color is it today, anyway?"

"Grey," Danielle said. "You know what grey looks like?"

"Not really, but colors seem important to most people," George said. "Mostly just conversation on my part."

Danielle tried once again to get some of the glop onto her fork. "OK, I couldn't eat this even if I wanted to."

Ophelia waved her hand dismissively to Danielle. "The trick is just to eat it in one bite, like this!" Ophelia scooped her hands into the grey pile of goop, and stuck the whole thing in her mouth at once, not even noticing the plate was still stuck to the glop. Danielle started giggling. "A little too crunchy for my tastes. Ow, I think I broke a tooth."

Danielle continued giggling. "Thank you, I needed the laugh. I mean, sure, eating a plate is kind of low class humor, but still, you pull it off."

"I ate the plate?" Ophelia yelled, nervously noticing the lack of plate in front of her, trying to feel for it as if she thought it might've turned invisible.

Danielle blinked. "You didn't notice the plate? You kind of ate the plate along with the-you weren't doing that to be funny?"

"No!" Ophelia yelled, worried. "No, I don't want plate shards tearing up my stomach!"

"Oh," Danielle said, looking nervous. "Should I take you to the nurse?"

"Yes, please!" Ophelia shouted, looking scared.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (crying) I really hope Ophelia's OK. I wish I could've stayed with her, but I had some really, really important business I needed to tend to. She'd understand, right? (Danielle starts crying harder.) No. I'm being selfish… but I'm not. I'm doing this to help Mallory… so that she likes me. (Danielle screams to the ceiling.) Why does doing the right thing have to be so complicated?

Ophelia: OK, so I wasn't good company, but Danielle probably had a good reason for leaving me, her BFF, alone… well, alone with George, I guess, but she had a good reason to leave, right? Like being bored… that's a good reason, right? I mean, she was with me for two minutes, and I know I get bored faster than that. (Ophelia looks down, uncomfortable, twiddling her fingers.)

* * *

Danielle had returned to the dining room, and sat down away from Katrina and Stephanie, though watching intently, and giggling slightly at the sight of Katrina having trouble getting the tough egg onto her fork.

"You're not allowed to share, right?" Katrina asked.

"It might've helped if you had asked that before I finished," Stephanie said. "But no, it wouldn't have helped, I suppose, since we're not allowed to share. Not in that direction. I'm not as sure about sharing downward, not that I want your egg."

"Neither do I," Katrina said, lowing her head level to her plate, glaring at the egg. "I do not like you."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: It's disgusting. Katrina's got almost everyone here wrapped around her finger! What's so great about Katrina, anyway? She's pure evil, and aside from me, Mallory's the only other person who's noticed! Thankfully, being such a selfless person, I have decided to help Mallory spread the word on the evils of Katrina! Everyone will thank me for this later!

* * *

"Katrina?" Danielle asked, having walked up to the table where she was eating. "Could you please help me with something? You're good with electronics, right?"

"Yes," Katrina said, still trying to stab her fork into her egg, though it wouldn't go in. "I'll help you right after I eat breakfast." Katrina squinted at her eggs. "If I can manage to eat them, at least."

"But I really need your expertise now," Danielle pleaded. "I'm stupid with fixing computer things manually."

Katrina sighed, resting her head in her hand, propped up on the table with her elbow. "Well, I don't think I'll be eating anytime soon. And after yesterday, I kind of owe you."

"Very much so," Danielle muttered.

Katrina cringed, then rolled her eyes. "Yes. Anyway, I'll go now." Danielle smiled bright and clapped to herself.

"Watch her," Stephanie said. "I wouldn't trust her."

"What?" Danielle whined. "I thought you liked me!"

"Compared to Isis," Stephanie muttered.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (fuming) OK, Danielle knows she's a horrible person, right? She has to know that! She's not an idiot! She knows how terrible she is; she's got to be aware of that! The nice girl bit, it's an act! It has to be!

Stephanie: You know, for someone who is supposedly intelligent, Katrina just walked right into Danielle's trap there, didn't she?

* * *

"I left my iPod right here," Danielle said, walking to the entrance to the bathroom, with Katrina, looking unhappy, following her over.

"I don't see it," Katrina said. "Maybe someone took it? And why didn't you just bring it with you when you came to ask me-um, what are you doing with that board?"

"Ow!" Danielle screamed, having whacked herself pretty hard in the face with the board. Danielle then whacked her legs, again hard, with the board, then fell to the ground, and moaned. Mallory immediately rushed out of the bathroom, and hurried over to Danielle.

"Are you OK?" Mallory asked, looking worried.

Danielle coughed, and Katrina slapped her own face, getting visibly angry. "She beat me up!" Danielle shouted, pointing an accusing finger toward Katrina.

"I'm sorry," Mallory said, hugging Danielle, who shot a devious smirk to Katrina, then put the pitiful expression back on her face.

"It's OK," Danielle said. "It's not your fault. I had just threatened to expose Katrina's treachery to the other contestants-quite selfless on my part, I might add-and she did this to send me a message. But I'm stronger than she is, and I will not be deterred from doing what's right!"

Katrina, all the while, had her arms crossed over her chest, tapping one arm with a finger from her opposite hand. She rolled her eyes at the end of Danielle's speech. "You have **got **to be kidding me."

"See how mean she is?" Danielle cried out, then sniffled. "She's got a tone with me!"

Katrina's eye started to twitch, then she threw her hands into the air. "She's making it all up! Watch the video tape!"

"So we can all see your edited version, no thank you," Mallory said, with a scowl on her face, then walked up to Katrina, poking her in the chest. "You may have fooled everyone else here that you're some goody two-shoes, but I know the real you. And I know you're waiting for just the right time to strike, to hurt everyone, just for your own entertainment."

"No," Katrina said, noticeably pissed off. "You've described that little witch perfectly, though. Again, I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough for what I've done to you."

"That's an understatement," Mallory said, rolling her eyes.

Katrina shuddered. "I'm not the bad guy anymore, though! That's Danielle! I'm innocent!"

"Like I haven't heard that before," Mallory said, then walked back over to Danielle. "You need anything?"

"Can you take me back to my cabin?" Danielle asked, then coughed. "I need some rest." Mallory nodded.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (smiling bright, with a bruised face, and holding her hands together in her lap) You know, it feels so nice to do nice things for people! Mallory deserved my help, too. No one believed her, and I felt bad about it. I hope people start believing her that Katrina is evil, now!

Mallory: I didn't really need the proof, but it's nice to have some anyway, some proof that, indeed, Katrina hasn't changed one bit, and she's still the monster she always was, and always will be.

Katrina: (furious) Seriously! What. The. Hell? OK, I guess karma had to catch up to me eventually, but it just seems so unfair! I'm not the villain; Danielle is! And yet she's the one coming out of this looking good! Just… urgh! (Katrina starts pulling at her hair.)

Stephanie: Yes, I heard about what Katrina allegedly did to Danielle, and I'd bet my savings account that Danielle pulled a flopsy-type scam on Katrina.

* * *

"Hi!" Izzy exclaimed, standing before the contestants, though only Yancy and Bob of Team Himalayas were there. Bridgette wasn't around. Lindsay was standing next to Izzy, playing with her hair. "Now, Bridgette didn't want to be here today, and I don't really get it. Something about cruelty to animals, or something."

"I don't like where this is going," Jennie muttered.

Izzy pointed to behind her, where there were three pens filled with chickens. "First, I would like to point out that these chickens have all led fulfilling, happy lives. No cages, just pure outdoor bliss for most of their lives. Izzy does not advocate cruelty to animals. Well, unless it's funny."

"It's never funny," Jennie said, sneering.

"Aww, but look!" Izzy exclaimed, pointing to the chicken pens. "One of the chickens is sunbathing, another one's enjoying a margarita, there's one playing pinball-"

"And people think chickens are just stupid birds," Jennie said, smirking.

"But these birds are at the end of their lives," Izzy said, as she went into one of the pens and took out a chicken who was on life support. "This chicken is in pain, suffering, and stuff, so the only humane thing to do is murder it senselessly to put it out of its misery, then dine on its remains!" Izzy started laughing maniacally as she took out an axe.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: That is sick! How… how could she do that?

Stephanie: Watching Jennie vomit like that was priceless! Seriously, they're just stupid chickens! They're delicious! Try some!

Elizabeth: (looking down at her shoes, with vomit on them) I wish I had another pair of shoes.

* * *

"Aww, you killed the cute little chicken," Lindsay said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"There, there, Lindsay," Izzy said, patting her on the back. "The chicken will soon be in a better place. Someone's stomach!"

"Seriously, that's disturbing," Jennie said, wiping her mouth with a tissue.

"Look, it was this, or factory farms for them," Izzy said. "Would you have liked that more?"

Jennie pouted. "The lesser of two evils is still evil."

"But we're lesser!" Izzy exclaimed. "Yay for lesser!"

"It's still inappropriate to make a challenge out of this," Jennie said.

"Lighten up, it's delicious!" Stephanie shouted. "Seriously, all those people who say you shouldn't eat something you're not willing to kill… it's about time I got to kill something so I can shut them up!"

Jennie smirked. "You're right. Maybe you should get to experience the suffering first hand."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: I almost hated myself for that, but really, I bet when she comes face to face with God's beautiful creature, she'll have second thoughts about slaughtering the poor, defenseless chicken, and have serious second thoughts about eating meat. If only that worked with vegetables, too.

Stephanie: Why someone would care so much about a stupid, ugly bird, I have no idea.

* * *

"Where are the rest of our teammates?" Yancy asked to Bob, who was standing there drooling. "Uh, Bob?" Yancy waved his hand in front of Bob, but didn't get a response. "We've got a challenge to do." Yancy looked at Bob, then shrugged as he walked over to his team's chicken pen.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Yancy: Looks like I've got this challenge to do on my own. Good thing I'm an expert at killing dinner, though I don't usually catch chickens. Usually things like possum, or raccoon, or crow, or something. I hope chickens are easy to catch.

Katrina: Where is Danielle, anyway? Off plotting a new scheme to destroy my life?

* * *

Danielle was in the medical tent, clutching onto Ophelia's arm. Both of them looked worried. George was sitting nearby. "Are you doing all right?" Danielle asked.

"I think," Ophelia said. "I hope."

"I'm sorry for laughing," Danielle said. "I really thought the plate eating was part of your whole 'Ophelia acting crazy' routine."

"Yeah, not quite that crazy," Ophelia said. "I suppose it does kind of sound like something I'd do, though, if you don't think about it too much." Ophelia looked like she was concentrating hard, then burst out laughing. "That was funny, actually!"

"I hope we don't lose another challenge," Danielle said. "I promise I'm not going to let anyone vote you out if we lose, though." Danielle hugged Ophelia.

"Aww, thanks," Ophelia said. "What about Yancy? He's kind of deadweight, and creepy."

"He gives me the willies," George said, then shuddered. "Then again, Victoria Justice also gives me the willies."

"Really?" Danielle asked, confused.

"I can't really explain that one," George said, shrugging.

"So it's agreed," Danielle said. "If we lose, we just vote off Yancy. Not like he's ever been of any use anyway."

Ophelia looked at Danielle, confused. "Did you lose in a fight? I wish I could've been there to help you kick ass!"

Danielle looked guilty. "Let's just say I did this to help Mallory and leave it at that. Poor girl needs someone on her side, after all."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons is a net gain, right? It means I can't be that bad a person. I mean, I really do want to help Mallory, and I wish someone on her own team were on her side.

George: You know, I don't always get Danielle. Half the time, she's so petty and selfish, but then, something like this happens, and she's genuinely worried about Ophelia. She's… well, kind of an open book, actually. But it's not one written in Braille, I can assure you.

Ophelia: You know something I love? I love random scenes in TV shows that don't make any sense at all, until later on, then you go "oh, I get it!" It's like in _The Simpsons, _when Homer bought that trampoline, and then later on in the story, it was important, because… um… actually, I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure it was important to the plot. (Ophelia shrugs.)


	17. Day 8, Part 2: My Life as a Teenage Nut

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 17: Day 8: Part 2: My Strife as a Teenage Health Nut**

Danielle held on to Ophelia's hand in the medical tent. "When is Chef going to get here?" Danielle complained. "I mean, really, you need help, and I don't know how to do surgery yet!"

"Yet?" George asked.

"Just give me time," Danielle said. "I'm only eighteen, I'll get to it."

"You're eighteen?" George asked. "I thought we were all seventeen, really."

"You two should probably get to the contest," Ophelia said. "I don't want you to lose."

"No," Danielle said. "I want to make sure you're OK."

"Is that why you were off doing something else earlier?" Ophelia asked, smirking at Danielle, who looked embarrassed.

"I needed to help Mallory with something," Danielle said. "I know she's not our teammate, but I just feel, after what she went through in the past, she could use a friend, since she didn't appear to have one. I can feel others' pain."

"What about Zack?" George asked.

"Who?" Danielle asked, confused. "Actually, I don't remember a Z-contestant. Was Zack voted off, or something?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: We're going to lose again, aren't we? (George shrugs.) Worse things can happen.

Jennie: It scares me that Stephanie isn't really revolted by killing the chickens herself. At all. And it really scares me that she seems to be enjoying it a bit much.

* * *

"Come here, chickie chickie chickie," Yancy said, with an axe behind his back, motioning his finger to approach him as he approached the chicken. "This here won't hurt long."

"Bob can't watch," Bob said, covering his eyes with his hands.

"I reckon I don't know why," Yancy said. "Chickens aren't scary."

"That's not what I meant," Bob said, then started scratching his head. "Or did I mean that?"

"They only peck your eye out if you're slow, so you got to be quick," Yancy said.

"Peck my eye out?" Bob yelled, looking terrified.

Jennie rolled her eyes, then looked over to the Himalayas pen. "Chickens are sweet and loving creatures. They won't peck your eyes out."

Bob sniffled, wiping his nose with his finger. "Really."

"Sure," Jennie said. "A chicken wouldn't hurt you, so you should return the favor and not hurt a chicken."

"They won't hurt me?" Bob asked.

"No, they won't," Jennie said, wearing a soft smile.

"Yay!" Bob exclaimed, clapping to himself, then went to pick up an axe. "Let me help, Yancy!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bob: (covered in cuts and bruises) Jennie… Jennie lied! She's a big fat ugly liar!

Jennie: (covering her face with her hand, shaking her head)

* * *

"Aww, is the wittle aminal lover feewing sick?" Stephanie asked cutesy-like.

"That's not funny!" Jennie yelled.

"Aww, you just want to hug them and squeeze them into itty-bitty pieces!" Stephanie said, putting her hands together and batting her eyes to Jennie.

"You are sick!" Jennie yelled.

"They're chickens!" Stephanie yelled. "They only exist to be eaten!"

"What a lovely attitude," Jennie said, rolling her eyes. "Let's not think about their cruel suffering. As long as it tastes good, that's all that matters."

"I know you're being sarcastic, but yes, that's exactly it!" Stephanie yelled. "No one cares about chickens! They're just stupid birds!"

Jennie sighed, then looked at one of the chickens on the ground, and smiled. "You aren't stupid, are you?" The chicken took out a sheet of paper. Jennie took it and looked at it. "Oh, this is just the worst report card I've ever seen! OK, maybe you are stupid, but you still have feelings! Look, Stephanie, it's crying!"

Stephanie looked at the chicken, then looked at Jennie, raising an eyebrow. "You are **not **this stupid!"

"Gee, I love the confidence you have in me," Jennie said, rolling her eyes, then hugged the chicken. "These creatures feel pain! How would you like it if someone lopped off your head."

"I wouldn't like it!" Stephanie shouted. "I'm also human! My life matters more than theirs, and despite how much I do not like you, your life matters more than theirs!"

"Why?" Jennie asked. "Just because we're supposedly more intelligent, have better reasoning skills, and have-"

"Yes, yes, **yes!**" Stephanie yelled. "Don't you get it? They're animals!"

"We're animals, too," Jennie said, looking as if she might cry.

"We're human animals!" Stephanie yelled, getting more frustrated. "They're animal animals!"

"But they still feel-"

"Blah blah blah, **you said that already!**" Stephanie screamed, throwing her arms into the air violently. "Now shut up or I'll shove the next chicken I kill in your face!" Jennie looked terrified by the thought.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: (crying) I don't get it! If she loves humans as much as she keeps insisting over and over again, why does she keep hurting me?

Todd: I must say, watching Stephanie make Jennie cry was even more fun than shoving a dead chicken in Jennie's face! Mwahahaha!"

* * *

Jennie was rocking back and forth in a corner of the pen, crying.

Stephanie sighed, then put down a chicken she was about to behead, and walked over to Jennie, crouching down to her level. "Are you OK?"

"What do you care?" Jennie snapped. "You wanted to do that yourself!"

Stephanie sighed. "I was angry. You and I aren't about to see eye-to-eye on this issue, and you can't let it go."

"It's important to me," Jennie said, then sniffled.

"And turning these guys into roast chicken is… OK, look, I want to win," Stephanie said. "I want to win, and this is actually kind of fun."

"That seriously disturbs me."

"Look, I'm sorry Todd did that, but I don't feel what I'm doing is wrong, and you need to accept that. Because I'm going back now!" Stephanie quickly got up, picked back up her axe, and headed her way to the chicken she'd let go earlier, right as Elizabeth was walking over, who crouched down to Jennie's level.

"She didn't do anything to you, did she?" Elizabeth asked, glaring over at Stephanie.

"I think she was trying to make me feel better," Jennie said. "I'm not entirely sure. I really wish you would stop killing the chickens, though."

"I am," Elizabeth said, sitting down, smiling. "I can't take it anymore. It's just so… horrible, I guess."

"It's a disgusting challenge," Jennie said. "I can't believe Bridgette would just let Izzy do this without a fight." Jennie tapped her chin. "Actually, I can believe that snake would do that."

"Bridgette seems nice," Elizabeth said, a bit confused. "Why don't you like her?"

Jennie's expression turned sour, and she crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. "Because!"

"You don't want to talk about it," Elizabeth said. "I can understand that."

"OK, now I feel bad," Jennie said, turning back around, with a slight smile. "I know you've got bigger reasons for not wanting to talk about things, but really, Bridgette just makes me sick."

"I don't have to ask if you don't want," Elizabeth said.

Jennie smiled comfortingly to Elizabeth, then leaned her head on Elizabeth's shoulder. "It's fine. I find Bridgette to be a hypocrite. She claims to care about our world, our environment, our animal friends, and what does she do?"

"She… doesn't she care about the world, and all that stuff?" Elizabeth asked.

"Do you remember that episode from the first season where Bridgette and everyone else had to eat all of that horrid, cruel stuff?"

"Vaguely," Elizabeth said. "I'm betting you remember it better."

"That I do," Jennie said. "At the end of that episode, she refused to eat a hotdog made from dolphin meat."

"Oh yeah," Elizabeth said. "I'd forgotten about that. Can't say I'd have eaten it."

Jennie massaged her forehead. "I'll try to forget you said that. But do you remember everything she ate earlier in that episode?"

"You're going to make my head hurt," Elizabeth said. "Just tell me."

"Bull testicles," Jennie said.

Elizabeth shuddered. "Did you have to use that word?"

"I don't want to sugarcoat it," Jennie said. "She ate quite a bit of meat during that challenge, as I recall. Only when cute little dolphins got involved did she refuse."

"So are you going to tell Bridgette what's bothering you one of these days, or just continue the passive-aggressive act?"

"She doesn't care about anything!" Jennie yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "She's faking it just to be popular!"

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "I don't think saving the planet is exactly what all the cool kids are doing."

"Well, maybe that was poor wording on my part," Jennie said. "But she wants to show off how much better she is than all of us, when really, she's not! And I hate that! And she doesn't care about the poor plants, either."

"I don't think plants feel pain," Elizabeth said. "Don't you need a nervous system for that?"

"Plants feel pain," Jennie said. "You can tell. When you speak to the trees, you can tell."

"You liked _The Lorax, _didn't you?"

Jennie blushed, but smiled. "He was my hero when I was a kid."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: Though really, the Lorax was probably a little nicer than I'd have been. I'd have torn that evil pair of hands a new one! Seriously, I used to think that guy was Dr. Claw before he got his metal gloves.

Elizabeth: I'd love to see Jennie and Bridgette get along. I think they could be close friends. I mean, Bridgette's almost as nice as Cody. (Elizabeth blushes.)

* * *

"This is disgusting!" Rachel yelled, wiping sweat from her face while leaning on her axe. "Who does this?"

"The people who provide us with delicious chicken," Xuxa said, smiling. "They do the hard part for us."

"Not too often anymore," Mallory said. "Now it's usually largely automatic, with the chickens experiencing far worse life and death than this, with birds being boiled alive and-"

"If someone wants to hear all that, they can research it themselves," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "Really, best just not to think about it. Out of mind, out of sight, and all."

Xuxa looked hurt. "You mean the chickens don't get to live happy lives before they're killed… well, relatively humanely?"

"No," Katrina and Mallory said in unison, both a bit surprised.

"These chickens are getting treated… not too poorly," Katrina said nervously.

"I'm surprised you care," Mallory said, rolling her eyes. "But yeah, happy farms with happy animals just aren't as common as they used to be."

"I know," Alistair said, putting his arm around Mallory, forcing out some tears. "It saddens me so deeply, the poor plight of the chickens."

Mallory looked a bit uncomfortable. "Um, could you please not touch me with your bloody, gutty hand?"

Alistair quickly removed his hand, looking embarrassed. "So sorry about that."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: Seriously, who cares? Factory farming, regular farming, as long as I get my chicken, I'm happy!

Jennie: You know, maybe this doesn't bother Stephanie, but I bet even she would be horrified by factory farming! I have faith that she isn't so heartless as to advocate that, and I'm really hoping no one else here does, either.

Todd: I'm a big fan of factory farming! I love the pain and suffering it causes for millions of chickens! Why would any goody-goody want chickens to live a good life before the day they're slaughtered? I mean, really, they have it too good! They'd be mocking us! It's us or them, and we're bigger and stronger, so it's us! And they deserve as cruel and grueling a death as we can give them!

Katrina: I'm pretty sure Daddy's part of the reason for factory farming. Always wanting more money while spending less money… he owns a lot of companies, and I'm pretty sure factory farming is among them. It bothers me when I think about it. I mean, we can afford to make slightly less money.

* * *

"You know Alistair's faking being nice, idiot," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"You know Katrina's faking being nice, idiot," Mallory shot back, smirking.

"Really wish you'd try getting along with her," Katrina nervously said to Rachel.

"I don't," Percy said, smirking. "I like seeing chicks fighting."

"Is he always this creepy?" Mallory asked.

"Yes," Xuxa answered.

"What do you mean?" Percy asked. "Look over there!" Percy pointed over to a couple of chickens wearing boxing gloves, duking it out. "I just said I like seeing chick fights."

"Wait for it," Rachel said, irritated.

"But I love chick fights even more, ha ha!" Percy exclaimed, laughing.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Wow, I didn't see that coming."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (making a gagging motion)

Mallory: You know, I actually feel kind of sorry for Rachel. Katrina's playing her like a fiddle, and she's too blind to see it.

Katrina: (trying to play the fiddle, but it makes horrible screeching noises, making Katrina cringe) You know, I have no idea why I even brought this with me.

* * *

"Rachel, you know Katrina attacked Danielle this morning," Mallory said.

Rachel sighed. "How about not slandering my friend, thank you."

"You can ask Danielle yourself if you don't believe me," Mallory said, irritated. "Look, I don't like you very much, what with the way you've treated me, but I really don't like seeing her hurting people."

"I hurt people; they don't hurt me," Rachel said, with venom in her voice. "And I would strongly recommend you stop this conversation if you don't want to become one of those people I hurt." Mallory nervously backed away, though Xuxa put her hand on Mallory's shoulder.

"Don't worry about her," Xuxa said. "She's always kind of mean and cranky, but she's not so bad."

"Not as bad as Katrina, at least," Mallory muttered, crossing her arm over her body.

"Could you please stop telling us how evil Katrina is?" Xuxa asked, concerned. "I mean, I get that she used to be mean-"

"Still is," Mallory said.

"Please stop that," Xuxa said. "She's my good friend. I'd like to be your friend, too, but it hurts me when you keep insulting Katrina."

Mallory sighed. "OK, I guess I'm not going to convince you without any proof that she's still evil anyway. I'll try to stop it."

Xuxa glomped Mallory, smiling bright. "Thanks! You're not so bad, yourself!"

Mallory smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Mallory seems so nice, really. I mean, except for the hating Katrina thing, but she'll see how nice Katrina is, I just know it!

Mallory: I feel bad for Xuxa, really. Katrina is an excellent actress, I admit, and if I were in her position, I don't know if I'd believe she was an evil person. So yeah, I really just need to prove that she's still evil. I'm sure she'd be interested in hearing what she did to Danielle this morning, from Danielle herself.

* * *

"You're fast," Bob said, looking impressed as Yancy was quickly slaughtering chicken after chicken after chicken.

"Got a lot of practice with this," Yancy said. "Though I prefer raccoon meat, or sometimes snake meat, but those don't usually have a lot of meat on them. You should help me with this."

"No!" Bob yelled, looking scared. "Not again!"

Yancy shrugged. "Wish I knew where the others were. They should be killin' chickens, too."

"Danielle's probably doing something selfish," Bob said. "She usually is."

"You're probably right," Yancy said. "Danielle's really pretty, but she ain't that nice. She probably didn't want to get her hands dirty."

"If that were true, I'd have to show my utmost respect for her," Jennie said, leaning over to Team Himalayas' pen, and shuddered. "And then I'd feel dirty for giving Danielle, of all people, my utmost respect."

"Maybe she's not that bad?" Elizabeth asked, still sitting down, tracing her finger along the ground. Jennie looked sick at that thought.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Jennie can be so stupid sometimes, like honestly believing that Danielle wasn't helping her team because she wanted equal rights for chickens or some stupid chicken crap like that. Danielle just didn't want to get her hands dirty doing something gross, so she's not doing it! I really don't like that girl, but if she's hurting her team's chances of winning, I won't complain. Too much.

* * *

"I think my hand's starting to cramp," Danielle said, still holding on to Ophelia's hand, as Chef was injecting Ophelia with stuff.

"You didn't have to hold my hand the whole time," Ophelia said. "Or even be here this long."

"I wanted to," Danielle said, starting to cry. "I was worried about you."

"But what if people think we're dating?" Ophelia asked smirking.

"Then I'll be really upset," Danielle said. "I'm really trying not to think about that right now."

"Thank you," Ophelia said. "But really, if your hand is hurting, let go. I'll feel bad if you're hand is cramping up because of me."

"All right," Danielle said, letting her hand go. "Will she be all right, Chef?"

"She'll be fine, but she'll be hurtin' in a couple days from now, heh heh," Chef said, grinning his scary grin.

"In a couple days?" George asked, a bit confused. "So she's not hurting now, but in a couple-"

"We get it, we don't need it spelled out!" Danielle yelled, then quickly looked guilty. "I mean, I'm sorry for that. Just not a question we're comfortable with."

"Aww," Ophelia said, looking disappointed. "I wanted to talk about it! I love talking about it!"

"You should probably take it easy right now," Chef said. "If you want to watch Blindie and Mary Sue girl compete, I think you still have some time left."

"Oh my gosh, let's hurry!" Danielle exclaimed, but quickly realized that Ophelia really wasn't in a state to move fast. "Or let's slow-y, I guess." Danielle sighed. "Do you need help walking?"

"I'm good," Ophelia said, smiling bright.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I don't always get Danielle. So often, she's just completely thinking only about herself and what she wants, but then, she seemed so worried about Ophelia… it's nice, but it's hard to know how she'll react to anyone's specific problem.

* * *

"Eat less chicken! Eat less chicken!" Jennie was marching in front of the pens, holding a sign that read 'eet less chikin.' Elizabeth was following her, with a sign reading 'eet mor froot.'

"You're acting ridiculous," Stephanie said, rolling her eyes. "No one cares!"

"She's just standing up for her beliefs," Nicole said.

"They're stupid beliefs!" Stephanie yelled, motioning over to Jennie and Elizabeth.

"That she doesn't like seeing chickens suffering?" Nicole asked. "I mean, I feel kind of guilty, since I love how these little guys taste, and I know I don't have the willpower to quit eating them. Though after today, I might feel a little nauseous if they're for dinner tonight."

"I'd actually love a chicken dinner tonight," Stephanie said.

"To piss off Jennie," Nicole said. "Why not just ignore her?"

"Because she-I-I don't know!" Stephanie yelled. "She doesn't let me ignore her!"

"If I didn't learn to ignore people, I don't know how I'd have survived," Nicole said, tearing up slightly. "Don't let her control you."

Stephanie looked like she was holding back her anger, but after several seconds, managed to calm herself down. "I don't know how you're always so calm, but I wish I could do that more easily." Stephanie started looking worried when Nicole didn't respond. "Nicole? Are you OK?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (covering her face with her hands, sobbing her eyes out)

* * *

Izzy was keeping an eye on her watch, tapping it, while most of the contestants were still beheading chickens. Jennie and Elizabeth were still marching with their signs in front of the pens, though Jennie glared at Izzy when she passed, and spit on her.

"Thank you!" Izzy exclaimed, glomping Jennie. "I love the spitting game! Ooh, my turn!" Izzy chucked up a huge blob of spit in Jennie's face, who immediately started screaming, and ran toward the bathrooms. Izzy started laughing her head off.

"That really wasn't nice," Elizabeth said.

"She started it," Izzy whined, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

"This challenge is really bothering her," Elizabeth said. "I don't feel right making fun of her for that."

"That's nice, but you don't just go around spitting on people, either," Izzy said. "Most people, at least. I find it kind of fun! But ooh, time's up!" Izzy turned to the pens. "Everyone put down your axes, and come out!"

"Time's up now?" Danielle pouted, as she was walking in front of Ophelia and George, just making it back to the pens. "But we just got here!"

"Pretty sneaky way to get out of what you would've thought was a disgusting challenge, I'm sure."

Ophelia looked around, then looked down. "Aww, I love killing chickens! I used to go to this farm when I was six, and the farmer would let me pick out my own chicken to kill, and it was so much fun, and it was always the yummiest dinner I'd have each week!" Ophelia sniffled, then wiped a tear from her eye. "I was so sad when he had to close down his farm."

"Then you should have been here instead of playing with Danielle," Yancy said.

"But now, it's time to count the dead chickens!" Izzy exclaimed, then entered the pen for Team Amazon. "One, one chicken! Two, two chickens! Three, three chickens!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: What are we, babies? Stop with the stupid _Sesame Street _vampire impression! No one our age likes that!

Ophelia: I remember there was an episode of _Sesame Street _where the Count went on a killing spree, and counted the number of people he turned into his undead army! It was a really weird episode, unlike most others. I mean, I he counted two hundred eighty-two victims, which is funny, since he usually doesn't count to numbers that high.

* * *

"And Team Moon has killed two hundred eight-two chickens!" Izzy exclaimed. "Wow, that's a lot!"

"Was that more or less than Team Amazing?" Lindsay asked, standing outside the pen, confused.

"More," Izzy said. "Team Amazon only had ninety-five."

Lindsay was massaging her forehead, looking frustrated. "But I thought ninety-five was bigger than eighty-two."

"But two hundred is bigger than zero hundred," Izzy said.

Lindsay sighed. "I never was good at math."

"Team Moon, you are definitely safe tonight. Again," Izzy said.

"No thanks necessary," Stephanie said, with false modesty.

"No one was going to," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

"But who has lost?" Izzy asked, trying to sound dramatic. "Has Yancy, by himself, killed at least ninety-five chickens?"

"He was pretty fast," Bob said.

"Well, hopefully he was killing chickens as if his stay on this island were depending on it, since it **is **depending on it."

"What makes you think no one's going to vote for you?" Yancy asked.

"And Yancy has killed a grand total of-" Izzy started, then stopped. "Drum roll, please!"

Ophelia started drumming on Danielle's head. Danielle was about to push her away, but stopped herself. "Please stop messing up my hair."

"Oops, sorry," Ophelia said, looking embarrassed.

"Eighty-six," Izzy said. "A lot of good work, but not good enough. "Team Himalayas, you'll be voting someone out tonight. Sorry."

Danielle narrowed her eyes toward Izzy. "You aren't sorry."

Izzy shrugged. "You're right, but it seemed like the right thing to say."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Well, I'm happy to hear that I did, indeed, personally slaughter more chickens than Yancy did. One hundred forty-seven to his eighty-six. Oh, if only Team Himalayas had me on their team, they would've won. (Stephanie chuckles to herself.) For that matter, if Team Himalayas had me on their team, they'd probably still have all of their team members. Sucks to be them!

* * *

Stephanie was sitting next to Jennie in the dining room, chewing on a bite of chicken. "Grilled chicken with a pineapple marinade. Quite delicious, I must say. You should try some." Stephanie stabbed the chicken with her fork, and waved the chicken in front of Jennie's face.

Jennie looked sick, as she started to get up, with a bowl of pineapple. "You really didn't have to sit next to me."

"Well, Elizabeth abandoned you, so I thought you might be lonely, and might like the company."

"She didn't abandon me, she just thought I'd appreciate it if she didn't eat her chicken in front of me!" Jennie snapped.

"Touchy," Stephanie said, grinning, though was quickly whacked in the back of her head by Nicole.

"That's seriously not cool," Nicole said, sitting down next to Stephanie, also with a plate of chicken. "Just leave her alone."

"After today, she was asking for it," Stephanie muttered.

"Look, it was a hard day for her," Nicole said. "This challenge really got to her. I know what that's like."

"You know what it's like to shout in everyone's ear that they're not allowed to eat what they want to eat?" Stephanie asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm doubting that."

Nicole started twiddling with her fingers. "Not exactly, but the whole getting picked on for being different thing."

"You're the sanest one here," Stephanie said. "Aside from myself, of course."

Nicole lightly smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (still twiddling her fingers) I know it's not exactly the same-vegetarians aren't exactly oppressed-but I still feel uncomfortable with Stephanie taunting Jennie. I mean, I know Jennie can shove her beliefs in people's faces, but she was just minding her own business at dinner, and Stephanie just wanted to irritate her anyway.

Elizabeth: I don't get Stephanie's problem with Jennie. Why can't she just leave Jennie alone? She's a nice girl! I wish I could also say I didn't get Stephanie's problem with me, but I unfortunately know all too well what that's about. (Elizabeth sighs.)

* * *

"It was horrible!" Danielle exclaimed, standing at a table where, Rachel, Xuxa, and Katrina were eating a dry-looking chicken breast. "I was minding my own business, and Katrina just walloped me for no reason! She said I was on to her, so she needed to take me out of the competition!"

"Fascinating," Rachel said, sounding bored, playing with her fork.

"That doesn't sound like Katrina at all," Xuxa said, looking worried.

"She's lying," Katrina said. "She's trying to defame me. She beat herself up, and Mallory believed her when she came out of the bathroom and noticed Danielle lying there, having apparently been beaten up by someone."

"I don't get why anyone would believe you," Rachel said, glaring at Danielle.

"Because Mallory hasn't gotten the pleasure of really seeing the real Danielle yet," Katrina muttered. "She'll figure it out in due time, I'm sure."

"And then she'll realize that I'm a good person, and I was right about you all along," Danielle said, smirking as she poked her finger to the tip of Katrina's nose, which Katrina promptly slapped away.

"Don't touch me," Katrina said, with venom in her voice.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (looking pleased with herself) I do believe I was seeing the real Katrina starting to emerge. Everyone will be thanking me for revealing her true colors soon enough.

Rachel: (rolling her eyes) Danielle is the absolute worst liar I have ever known. I don't know how anyone could possibly be gullible enough to fall for anything uttered from her horrid little mouth.

Bob: I can't believe Katrina would beat up Danielle! So Katrina's mean… but Danielle's mean, too. Who should I root for?

* * *

Danielle returned to her table, sitting with Ophelia and George, with a plate of some sort of chicken-byproduct glop in front of her. "Goodbye, Yancy, and good riddance."

"Not a hard choice," Ophelia said, being more careful in eating her glop. "This isn't so bad."

"It does seem kind of unfair, though," George said. "I mean, he was the only one who actually did anything in today's challenge."

"That wasn't my fault," Danielle said. "Ophelia needed me!"

"I guess," George said, playing with his fork. "Still, seems kind of unfair.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (shaking her head) George, you can be too nice sometimes. Really, though, Yancy is weird, and he gives me the willies. (Danielle shudders.) So Yancy, goodbye!

Bob: Danielle's a poopy head! And she didn't even play today! She's definitely gone!

Yancy: Danielle ain't a very nice lady, and she was off having fun while I did today's challenge all by myself, so it's pretty obvious who's going tonight.

* * *

The five members of Team Himalayas were sitting in the chairs around the campfire. Izzy was standing at her podium, tapping her fingers on the podium, while Lindsay was standing next to her, with a huge smile on her face, holding a plate full of compacts. "Surprise, surprise: you lost again," Izzy said.

"It's not my fault!" Danielle shouted defensively. "I was with Ophelia! She needed me!"

"We know," George said. "You know you aren't leaving. Don't worry."

"How do you know she's not leaving?" Lindsay asked, narrowing her eyes, before widening them and gasping, covering her mouth with her hands. "You have an allowance!"

"Yep," George said. "Have an alliance, too."

"It's a good one, though!" Danielle exclaimed, still nervous. "I mean, no one thinks George is evil, or Ophelia is evil, so-"

"Actually," Izzy interrupted, raising a finger, "a lot of people do kind of think Ophelia's evil." Danielle slumped in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, 'humph'ing.

"She's pretty," Lindsay said, pointing to Danielle, who smiled a bit. "I hope she gets to stay!"

"She's not that nice," Izzy said.

"Aww, but she was so worried when Oray was getting cured!"

Izzy blinked, a bit confused, then shrugged. "So she's not unfiltered evil. Filtered evil is more palatable, I suppose." Izzy picked up one of the compacts from Lindsay's plate. "On this plate, there are four alphabet blocks, but there are five… wait." Izzy took a closer look at the compact in her hand, and noticed that, indeed, it was a compact, and not an alphabet block. Izzy slowly turned to Lindsay. "Lindsay?"

"Ooh, that's me!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Yes," Izzy said, then presented to Lindsay the compact she was holding. "What is this?"

"That looks like a compact," Lindsay said. Her eyes then widened. "Hey, that kind of looks like the compacts on the plate I'm holding! But won't it be too many if you also have one? I think you miscounted."

Izzy put her empty hand on Lindsay's shoulder as she shook her head and put the compact back on Lindsay's plate. "They were supposed to be alphabet blocks, Lindsay. Not makeup compacts."

"Oh, I know!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I just thought these would be nicer! I mean, I haven't played with alphabet blocks since I was thirteen, but I still use compacts, even to this day! And I thought the contestants might like them more than the alphabet blocks!"

Izzy shook her head. "They're supposed to be symbolic. They're not really meant for them to play with."

"Aww," Bob said, looking down. "I thought my tower was pretty good."

Izzy picked back up the compact, and started lightly tossing it in her hand. "I suppose these will do for tonight. On this plate, there are four compacts, but there are five of you. If you receive a compact, you are safe. If, however, you do not receive a compact, then it means you have lost, and you will be forcefully ejected at great velocity through the stratosphere, and you can never come back. But that part's not really true, but you might not come back, still, and that makes Izzy cry." Izzy starts sniffling, then blows her nose into her shirt. "Actually, I think it's these compacts that are making my allergies act up. What is this makeup made of, anyway?"

"Ooh, I hope whale blubber!" Ophelia exclaimed. "Killing whales goes great with killing chickens!"

"It's worth it," Danielle said while applying lipstick.

"If I call your name, you are safe. Please come up and collect your bite-sized makeup kit."

"George."

"Ophelia."

"Bob."

Yancy sat there, looking confused, while Danielle was filing her nails, looking bored. "You're not going to speed this up, are you?" Danielle asked, not looking up.

"Not because you asked," Izzy said. "But I'm getting bored, so I won't keep you waiting for more than about ten sets of ellipses. The final clam full of makeup goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Danielle." Izzy rolled her eyes as she tossed the compact to Danielle. "Sorry, Yancy." Izzy took out a remote and pressed the button, sending an oddly silent Yancy through the clouds, making Yancy-shaped holes.

"Oh, this is quality makeup," Danielle said as she peeked inside her compact, then rushed up to Lindsay to glomp her. "Thank you, Lindsay!"

"You're welcome, Dana," Lindsay said, smiling bright.

"Danielle, but if you buy me more makeup, I'll let you call me Dana!"

"Actually, I'd rather call you Danielle if that's you're name," Lindsay said, though she looked more confused than usual. "Unless you really want to be called Dana… oh, I hope I don't forget that you like being called Danielle-I mean, Dana! Sorry, Dana." Danielle looked as if she were trying hard to not kill Lindsay.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Dana: Remember, she gave you a really nice, expensive present, so be nice and don't murder her. If she says your name is Dana, then it's Dana.

* * *

"We all made it!" Danielle exclaimed, standing with Ophelia and George. "Ophelia, you're all better, and we lost a challenge, but we only lost deadweight anyway. No one liked Yancy, and no one's going to miss him."

"You're talking to feel better about what we did, aren't you?" George asked. "You kind of do that a lot."

"Someone had to leave," Danielle said, shrugging. "Why not Yancy?"

"Good point, I'm convinced," Ophelia said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bob: (sobbing) Why, Yancy? Why?

* * *

"You're back, babe!" Geoff exclaimed, waving his hand on the Dock of Shame as a boat carrying Bridgette returned.

Bridgette waved back, then hurried off the boat to hug Geoff, and the two started making out. After about a minute, Bridgette stopped, and looked toward the camp. "Geoff, can we continue this later?"

"What's wrong, babe?" Geoff asked, concerned.

"I need to check something with Courtney," Bridgette said, not looking happy. "Make sure a certain someone did a certain something."

"Oh," Geoff said, with a blank look on his face. "You need to get her a birthday present.."

Bridgette blinked. "Um, no."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Geoff: I gotta' say, my girl is brave, going to see Courtney and all. I mean, she can be pretty scary sometimes.

* * *

"Stop it!" Courtney yelled, standing in her room, with Duncan lying on her bed.

Duncan shrugged. "I can't help it Gwen wants me. Who can blame her?"

"I can!" Courtney yelled. "Isn't she happy enough with Trent?"

"Would you be happy enough with Trent?" Duncan asked, wiggling his eyebrow.

"Stop it!" Courtney repeated. "You are not going to talk to Gwen."

"You aren't the boss of me," Duncan said.

Courtney poked her finger to the tip of Duncan's nose. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am! You would do well not to forget that!"

"And you would do well with a volume control button, but we don't always get what we want," Duncan said, rolling his eyes.

"Stop it!" Courtney yelled again, then heard a knock at her door. "If that's Gwen-"

"It's Bridgette," Bridgette said. "Can I please come in?"

"No," Courtney said, but immediately opened the door herself, and walked out into the hallway. "Any excuse to get away from Duncan."

Bridgette started rubbing her arm nervously. "I kind of wanted to talk to you about something important."

Courtney started massaging her forehead. "Is this about Gwen?"

"Sort of, yeah," Bridgette said.

Courtney sighed. "OK. At least I can count on you not betraying me."

"Did Danielle talk to you recently?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh, that," Courtney said. "I heard about the truth serum. She felt bad and apologized for it, too."

Bridgette blinked, a bit confused. "You're not mad at her?"

Courtney waved her hand dismissively. "Alyssa drugged her with truth serum. I trust Danielle enough to know that she's not going to touch him." Courtney started tapping her chin. "OK, I'm a little worried about it, but I'm trying to trust her, at least. I mean, if I had to trust one of the new contestants, it would be her."

"I can't say I'd agree," Bridgette said.

"Yeah, I really don't understand that," Courtney said. "It's a shame that she got off on the wrong foot with Isis, yes, but she's really not this horrible person. She just needs to be given a chance."

"Can you tell me, exactly, what Danielle apologized for?"

"For when Alyssa forced her to confess that she had a crush on Duncan," Courtney said. "Really, I'm a lot more upset with Alyssa. I mean, Danielle couldn't help it, even though I do want to make sure she understands boundaries around Duncan."

"OK," Bridgette said. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"Bother me?" Courtney asked, then laughed uncomfortably. "Really, can we do something? Anything, away from Duncan? He's driving me insane in there." Bridgette giggled.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: So Danielle thought she could pull a fast one. I can't say I'm surprised, but still, it's her place to tell Courtney, really, and not mine, so… yeah, I'm going to try to give her another chance. I mean, no one's completely evil, right? We all thought Heather was completely evil, and it took almost all of last season for all of us to realize that she was human, just like the rest of us. Danielle can't be all bad, can she?

Ophelia: Danielle's such a great friend! She's like the best friend I've ever had! (Ophelia hugs herself.)

* * *

"And I did such a good job co-hosting, too!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, as she walked through the campsite holding the hand of a giant chicken, wearing Courtney's outfit. "Aren't you proud of me?"

"B-b-b'kaw?" the chicken asked.

"Thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed, hugging the chicken, right as the real Courtney was walking up, looking very confused.

"What is **that?**" Courtney yelled. "And why is it wearing **my **clothes?"

"It's Courtney, Courtney," Lindsay said, still smiling bright.

"No, it's a giant chicken!" Courtney shouted, throwing her arms into the air.

"Hey, she's my best friend! Don't call her mean names!" Lindsay shouted, then hugged the chicken. "Don't listen to her. You aren't a giant chicken. You're a brave person!"

Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "No, I meant a literal, enormous chicken! Look!" Courtney ripped the clothes off the chicken's back, revealing it to be, indeed, a giant chicken.

Lindsay gasped, and looked in horror at the chicken. "You… you lied to me?" Lindsay shouted, then grabbed a conveniently-placed nearby frying pan, and whacked the chicken on the head with it. "That was really, really mean!" The giant chicken started running away, with Lindsay chasing after it. Courtney just watched, confused.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: Yeah, we couldn't help it. An episode about chickens, without bringing back Chicken Boo? We had to bring him back!

Foghorn Leghorn: I say, I mean I say, boy, what was wrong with me? Was I not good enough to get a role on the show, I say, listen to me when I'm talkin', boy!  
Chicken Boo: (dressed as a network executive) B'kaw?  
Foghorn Leghorn: (to the camera) Nice kid, but a little, I say, a little slow with the English language.

Ophelia: Oh my God! I actually saw Foghorn Leghorn in person! Eeeiii! For some reason, though, when I shared the news with Danielle and George, they didn't believe me! I mean, I wouldn't lie to them! (Ophelia taps her chin.) Well, I wasn't lying this time!

* * *

Todd was standing in the middle of the forest that night, flicking a lighter on and off. "It would be pretty evil to set this place on fire… not a big fan of fire, though. I prefer making things unbearably cold. Hot just isn't my style."

"Todd," a scratchy, echo-y voice called out.

"Dr. Claw, is that you?" Todd asked.

"No!" the voice shouted, then stepped out. It was a shadowy figure, cloaked in a dark red cloak, completely hiding the person's identity.

"You look like Dr. Claw," Todd said, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I am in need of your services," the shrouded figure said.

"I do what I want, when I want," Todd said.

The figure took out an envelope from their cloak, and handed it to Todd, all without an actual hand of the hidden person being seen. "I trust this will be to your liking."

Todd opened the envelope, and almost immediately, his eyes turned into dollar signs, as he started counting the money inside. "This is… this is a thousand dollars!"

"Quiet!" the mystery person shouted, oddly quietly. "We want this meeting to be a secret!"

"Are you Danielle?" Todd asked. "She always seemed kind of evil. And annoying."

"Again, secret," the mystery person said, then handed Todd a note. "This is your assignment. You are to act on this during the middle of the night after the next elimination ceremony."

"Why not do it tonight?" Todd asked. "It'd be fun!"

"I want time to prepare," the mystery person said. "You might also wish for some time to prepare, correct? After all, we do want to make this good!"

Todd shrugged. "Hey, for a thousand dollars, I can wait twenty-four hours. I'm flexible."

The mystery figure nodded. "Good."

"You know, you should do an evil laugh now," Todd said, grinning. "It's the perfect time! Let's do it together! Mwahaha-"

The mystery figure slapped a hand, still under the cloak, over Todd's mouth. "No." Todd looked a bit worried, and just nodded.

* * *

**Votes**

Bob: Danielle  
Danielle: Yancy  
George: Yancy  
Ophelia: Yancy  
Yancy: Danielle

Yancy: 3  
Danielle: 2

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Percy, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Bob, Danielle, George, Ophelia  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis, Ulysses, Yancy

* * *

And Yancy is gone, and that ceremony was… probably not the most suspenseful one ever. He was kind of fun, but at the same time, I absolutely hated trying to write for him, but he was due to leave this episode, regardless.


	18. Day 9, Part 1: Triskaidekaphobia

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 18: Day 9: Part 1: Triskaidekaphobia**

Katrina was in her nightgown with a sleeping bag and pillow out that night, lying on her stomach, behind the confessional, doing something on a tiny computer-looking thing, holding a pencil to her mouth, smiling bright.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (wearing an off-the shoulder black T-shirt and short grey shorts) There's no way Katrina did that to Danielle, right? I mean, Katrina's too nice, right? Mallory wouldn't lie about it, though… would she? But then, how well do I really know Mallory, anyway? (Nicole chuckles to herself.) You know, sometimes I wonder about confessing things in here. Like how does anyone know the person they're talking about isn't right outside, listening to their every word?

* * *

Nicole exited the confessional, and went for a short walk behind the confessional, where she spotted Katrina. "Is that Rachel?"

Katrina went wide-eyed, then quickly hid her computer, looking worried. "Um… hi?"

"Was that Rachel you were drawing, on your… is it like an iPad?"

"Oh, it's… not exactly an iPad," Katrina said. "It's a newer product still in development from one of my father's companies, but I managed to get a sneak peek."

"It looked like you were drawing Rachel," Nicole said. "It looked pretty good."

"Oh, that," Katrina said, then smiled happily again, taking back out her computer. "Yeah, I was working on a cute little animation of me and my friends here."

"Can I see it?" Nicole asked.

"Well, I wanted it to be more of a surprise," Katrina said. "Most of it isn't done yet, but I guess you can take a look."

Katrina pushed something on her computer, then handed it to Nicole. A short animation of Rachel in her pajamas played. Nicole chuckled. "Well, already, that's better than I could make."

"I haven't added anyone else yet," Katrina said. "It was going to be my friends and me at a pajama party."

Nicole smiled nervously. "Was I going to be in it?"

"I wasn't planning on it, really," Katrina said. "Just Rachel, Xuxa, and me, really. It's not that I don't like you, but that I barely know you. I don't really know a whole lot about you except… well… am I allowed to say it? I really don't wish to say something offensive."

"You can call me a lesbian," Nicole said, sitting down next to Katrina. "As long as you're not using it as an insult, I don't mind, I promise."

"I would never do that," Katrina said. "Well, not anymore."

"You mean the old Katrina who Mallory talks about," Nicole said, putting a hand on Katrina's shoulder. "I don't know that Katrina. I just know the smart, kind girl you've become."

Katrina blushed, then hugged Nicole. "Thank you."

"Can I ask what happened with you and Danielle this morning?" Nicole asked. "Not that I really believe Danielle didn't have anything coming, but just to understand a bit more."

Katrina sighed. "You might not believe what she did-"

Nicole smirked. "Pretty sure I'll believe anything she did."

Katrina giggled a bit, and held her knee with both hands. "Well, she wanted me to fix her mp3 player, but she really just wanted to lead me over to Mallory, at which point she proceeded to beat herself up, then accuse me of beating her up."

Nicole shook her head. "I believe it. It's almost sad how she thinks that we don't see her for the manipulative liar that she is, and how she expects us all to automatically take her word over yours."

"Well, Mallory's on her side, too," Katrina said, looking down.

"But you feel bad about… well, whatever that was all about, right?" Nicole asked. "And you're trying to make it up to her, right? Can I ask what you did? I mean, if you want to talk about it. Or not, if you don't."

"It's OK," Katrina said, looking nervous. "I kind of see it as part of my necessary retribution."

"You don't owe me anything," Nicole said.

"I owe it to Mallory," Katrina said. "She deserves to have people know that she's a good person. I don't want people here to hate her just because she doesn't trust me. She has every reason not to trust me. It's not my place to force it upon her."

Nicole pat Katrina on the shoulder. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Um… wow. And I thought I had it bad in school.

* * *

"OK, that's pretty bad," Nicole said, looking shocked. "But still, you've changed, right?"

"Yes," Katrina said. "I would do anything to make it up to Mallory."

Nicole had a comforting smile on her face. "I know. I wish I could say I knew how to handle it, but I don't. I think you're doing the right thing, though, by giving Mallory her distance."

"I hope Rachel and Xuxa are being nice," Katrina said. "I want her to have a nicer place to sleep than outside."

Nicole cringed a bit. "Well, Xuxa's not… not mean, exactly."

"You don't like them, do you?" Katrina asked.

"Let's just say I almost felt sorry for Frederique," Nicole said. "I mean, it would've helped if he weren't such an ass himself."

"Xuxa and Rachel are nice," Katrina said. "Well, sometimes."

"Xuxa, maybe," Nicole said. "It's hard for me to see much good in someone who wants me dead because of my sexuality, though."

Katrina blinked. "Rachel wants you dead?"

"I really don't know," Nicole said. "It definitely feels like it, though."

Katrina hugged Nicole. "I don't want you dead." Nicole blushed. "Would you like me to talk to Rachel about it?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (smiling bright) I know it's just platonic hugging, friend to friend, but… Eeeiii!

* * *

"No," Nicole said. "I mean, don't do it, unless she says something first. If she does throw some sort of slur about me, though, you can tell her not to do that."

"OK," Katrina said, nodding. "I really don't see how anyone couldn't like you, though. So nice, smart, hot-"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Eeeiii! She called me hot! I mean, I don't think I'm all that, but I promise not to complain if Katrina decides to call me hot, anyway. (Nicole has a huge grin on her face.)

* * *

Nicole was blushing. "Thank you! Really, it makes me feel better knowing that people like you exist. You want a sleeping buddy?"

"I'm not allowed in your cabin, you know," Katrina said. "You'd have to brave the weather like I am."

Nicole looked up to the sky. "I don't mind. Well, I do, but it won't be too bad. Don't want you to have to sleep all by yourself."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Really, it's a win-win situation. Maybe I'll get the best girlfriend ever! But even if that doesn't happen, Katrina's one of the nicest friends ever, and that's pretty good, too!

Katrina: I feel bad that I'm straight. Nicole's really nice, and she's going to be the perfect girlfriend for someone out there! I don't really want to just come out and ask if she thinks of me like that, though, but I don't want to lead her on by accident. (Katrina sighs.)

* * *

"I really hate Katrina for this," Rachel muttered, sitting on the floor of the second place cabin, looking at her cards, then turned to Xuxa. "Got any threes?"

Xuxa grinned. "Go fish."

Rachel shuddered, then drew a card from the pile. "This is lame."

"Aww, I've always liked it," Xuxa said.

"I don't mind," Mallory said, smiling bright, sitting on the floor along with Xuxa and Rachel. "It's nice to be accepted."

"There's nothing nice about this!" Rachel shouted. "I'm only doing this-"

"Rachel, stop that," Xuxa said. "We promised, remember?"

Rachel shuddered. "That was very stupid of me."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Katrina really wanted me and Rachel to try to get along with Mallory tonight, and asked us not to mention her, and really, Mallory's pretty nice when we don't mention Katrina. It's really a shame we can't all just get along.

Rachel: (massaging her forehead) I am **way **too nice sometimes. If I weren't a better person, Katrina would pay for this!

* * *

"Those are nice pajamas," Mallory said to Rachel, smiling.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "Todd ruined my normal pair. These are hideous! I really need to clean my green pair."

"I like the pink," Mallory said. "Goes with your hair well."

"No it doesn't!" Rachel shouted. "You don't know the first thing about fashion."

"I don't," Mallory said. "I just said I thought they looked nice. You know, trying to be nice?"

"OK, I need some air," Rachel said, getting up to exit the cabin.

Xuxa and Mallory looked confused, then looked to each other. Xuxa then smiled. "So which guy do you think's the cutest? Who should I go after?"

"I don't really know most of them," Mallory said. "I kind of like Zack and Alistair."

"I promise I won't fight you for either of them," Xuxa said, then started tapping her chin. "Actually, I don't even know which one Zack is, anyway. You know who's kind of cute, though?"

"George?" Mallory asked.

"No, Todd!" Xuxa exclaimed. "He's pretty hot, and I bet deep down, he's a teddy bear."

"Or a real bear," Mallory said. "If nothing else, I can respect that he's not putting on any sort of 'nice guy' act, but I cannot see anything good coming from you hooking up with him."

"I'm sure he has to be better than Frederique, at least," Xuxa said.

"Who?" Mallory asked, confused. "I'm guessing he was eliminated before I got here?"

"Oh, yes," Xuxa said. "Horrible, cruel person. I can't believe people like him really exist! He even tried to pretend to be a nice guy, and I fell for it at first!" Xuxa hung her head in shame. "So embarrassing."

Mallory pat Xuxa's back. "Believe me, I know what you mean all too well."

"No talking about that, please," Xuxa said, a bit concerned.

"Fair enough," Mallory said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: I worry about Xuxa. But really, warning Xuxa over and over again isn't going to do anything but drive her away from me. I just hope she figures it out before it's too late.

* * *

"You're popular at school?" Mallory asked.

"Oh, very!" Xuxa exclaimed. "I'm the most popular girl at my school! Everyone loves me!"

"I can't say that for myself," Mallory said. "I keep a pretty low profile at my current school. Most people don't really know who I am."

"I'm sorry," Xuxa said.

"Don't be," Mallory said. "I prefer it that way. It's far better than what things could be."

"I'd be your friend," Xuxa said, smiling bright. Mallory sighed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: Xuxa means well, but no, she wouldn't be my friend. I can tell just by how she was a lot friendlier toward me after Rachel left. She wants acceptance, and she's as aware as I am that Rachel doesn't like me. (Mallory smiles.) Still, though, it really was a nice little chat we had.

* * *

Danielle gasped, walking around in a fairly revealing nightgown, as she passed by Rachel, sitting in front of her cabin, smoking a cigarette. "You're going to kill yourself!"

"Thank you," Rachel muttered, rolling her eyes as she flicked off some ash. "No one's ever told me that before."

"Well, pardon me for caring about your health," Danielle complained, then 'hmphed' and walked off.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Well, see if I ever save anyone's life again! And BTW, those pajamas looked horrid on her!

* * *

Danielle heard some talking when she exited the confessional, narrowing her eyes. Then her eyes went wide after recognizing one of the voices. "Katrina!" she muttered to herself, making a fist. She hurried behind the confessional. "What do you think you're doing?"

Nicole blinked in confusion, and Katrina slapped her own face in frustration. "We were talking if you don't mind, but since you obviously do mind for heaven-knows-why, leave us alone!"

Danielle put her hand to her heart. "My conscience would never let me ignore someone in need of my help!"

Nicole cringed. "Could you go away?"

"You **should **be thanking me!" Danielle shouted. "Someone like you doesn't really deserve my help, after all."

"Someone like me?" Nicole asked, getting angrier.

"Look, your wrong choices are unimportant right now," Danielle said. "What's important is that you get away from Katrina. She's dangerous! Do you know what she did to me earlier?"

"You mean when you injured yourself to try to frame Katrina?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, I heard about that."

"She's lying!" Danielle shouted.

"I guess we can ask for the tape," Nicole said, smirking. "Then I can see what happened."

"She's lying!" Danielle shouted. "She probably edited the tape to make it look like I was beating myself!"

"How?" Nicole asked. "Do you even realize how much work that would take, and how long that would take?"

Danielle started backing away, looking hurt. "When she stabs you in the back, don't say I didn't warn you!"

Katrina sighed. "I'm sorry about that. I really don't understand what she has against me."

"Probably holding a grudge from when you used her catapult in that challenge," Nicole said, shrugging. "She can hold a grudge pretty well. I'm pretty sure she's harmless."

"I don't know about that," Katrina said. "There's obviously some reason her own team hasn't kicked her off yet. We don't want to make the mistake of underestimating her. I question if she may be outright evil."

"Evil's a pretty strong word," Nicole said. "But then, I guess you would know better than… I mean, you did, but now-" Nicole looked to the sky. "Argh!"

"It's OK, I know," Katrina said, looking down, twiddling her fingers. "I understand what you were trying to say, albeit not eloquently. I don't want to outright call her evil, but I am seriously questioning whether or not she may be."

Nicole shrugged. "If it's all the same to you, I'll just continue thinking of her as not evil, but a regular disgusting person."

Katrina smiled. "So much better than being called 'evil.'"

"I prefer making the distinction," Nicole said, smiling back.

"Fair enough," Katrina said, then grinned. "So, is there anyone here you like?"

Nicole's eyes went wide. "What? No! No… I mean, I… maybe, I don't know!"

Katrina giggled, then put a hand on Nicole's knee. "You don't have to share."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: Though I am ninety-nine and forty-four hundredths of a percent sure that Nicole is crushing on me. I don't like her in quite that way, though… at least, I don't think I do. I think I'm straight, at least.

* * *

"Well, do you like anyone?" Nicole asked, grinning.

"Zack," Katrina said. "He's actually someone whose life we would've made a living hell a few years ago, though. I mean, not quite like Mallory, but still, I'm glad I didn't know him back then."

"Who?" Nicole asked, scratching her head. "I really don't remember who Zack was."

"Funny thing is no one else seems to, either," Katrina said. "Not really sure why. He's nice, though, and a bit nervous around people, and… well, he deserves for someone to acknowledge him."

"I'm glad you're there for him," Nicole said. "Do you think he likes you?"

"Yes," Katrina said. "But I also think he likes Mallory, and ultimately, I worry that he may choose her, since he's aware that I haven't always been a particularly nice person, and she always was."

"You know, I'm really impressed how you haven't been upset with her, or constantly bothering her to forgive you, or anything like that," Nicole said.

"It's really not about me," Katrina said. "It's about her. She'll forgive me when she's ready. Maybe it'll be tomorrow. Maybe it'll never happen. I was the bully, and I'm not going to bully her into forgiving me."

"Good luck with that," Nicole said, smiling.

"Thank you," Katrina said, then yawned. "I'm pretty tired. Do you mind if I smoke before I go to sleep?"

Nicole looked down, somewhat ashamed. "Actually, yes. I didn't know you smoked."

"It's not something I'm proud of," Katrina said. "Kind of went with the whole 'trying to fit in' thing when I was younger. I'll go find someplace else. I don't want you to have to worry about your health. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Thank you," Nicole said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: I guess Katrina still isn't perfect, really, but I could live with it. She's considerate about it, at least.

Katrina: (holding a cigarette) Curse these stupid things! So horrid, and yet, so soothing, and so need-you-to-relieve-my-stress.

* * *

"Good night!" Alistair yelled, curled up in his bunk. "Don't let the bed bugs bite, **Zack.**"

"Why are we even letting him sleep in here?" Percy asked, glaring at Zack. "She's a pretty ugly chick."

"He's male," Alistair said, rubbing his forehead. "Not much of one, admittedly, but just let him sleep in here."

"I don't like him getting comfortable in here," Percy said. "Of course, maybe if I had some incentive-"

Alistair looked blankly to Percy. "I'm not having sex with you."

"Eww, no," Percy said. "I meant money."

"Oh, that," Alistair said, then chuckled to himself. "That's even less likely. It's important to make sure Zack is semi-comfortable in here." Zack was just lying in the other bunk bed, looking worried.

"Really, who cares?" Percy asked. "I mean, does he even count as a person?"

"Incredibly, yes," Alistair said. Alistair grumbled as he made himself comfortable, and there was silence for about a minute.

"Ow!" Zack shouted. "Are you throwing spitballs?"

"Percy, please," Alistair muttered.

"It's fun!" Percy exclaimed. Alistair slapped his own face in frustration. "You're just acting like this to get in Mallory's pants, huh?" Percy asked.

"No, of course not!" Alistair shouted.

"Sure," Percy said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: I don't like that one-armed freak! I need an ally, though, and one who isn't as moronic and universally disliked as Percy, but also one who I can take complete control over, which means Rachel's obviously out. That leaves Mallory. Which means if she likes Zack, it makes me look good to defend him against Percy.

Zack: Yeah, Alistair was obviously being nice… err, nic**er**, at least, because he's trying to get on Mallory's good side. I kind of prefer letting Alistair think I don't notice that, since I don't really want to push his buttons.

* * *

"Ugh!" Rachel complained, covering her head with her pillow in the top of her bunk bed. "She's making too much noise!"

Xuxa sighed, lying on the top of the other bunk bed. "Mallory didn't say anything."

"I can hear her thinking!" Rachel complained. "I can hear her and her mean thoughts!"

Mallory yawned, lying below Xuxa. "I'm too tired to think. I just want to get some sleep."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Seriously, Mallory, no one cares about your stupid Katrina issues! Just suck it up!

Xuxa: I'm a bit worried about Rachel. She seems on edge around Mallory, even though Mallory wasn't talking about Katrina. There's something bothering her, I think.

* * *

"So, what are you afraid of, really?" Ophelia asked, leaning her head on her hand, being propped up by her elbow, while lying in her sleeping bag. "Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

"I'm not afraid of anything," Danielle said, lying in her sleeping bag, looking irritated.

"Are you afraid of vampires?" Ophelia asked. "Those can be pretty scary."

"Oh, yes, Edward Cullen is so scary," Danielle said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, I know," Ophelia said, nervously looking around. "Seriously, it creeps me out how so many girls like him."

Danielle blinked. "I don't really care. He's fictional. Make believe."

Ophelia nodded. "Are you afraid of getting into an argument over the pronunciation of Grenada?"

Danielle looked more confused. "Um… no."

"What about moths?" Ophelia asked. "Those are like evil butterflies, right? Can't trust 'em, if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you," Danielle said. "I don't really care."

Ophelia grinned. "Are you afraid someone's going to figure out your real eye color?"

Danielle's eyes went wide. "No! They're purple!"

Ophelia shook her head. "You and I both know that's not true."

"Please tell me you didn't investigate my eyes while I was asleep," Danielle said.

"Even if it would be a lie?" Ophelia asked.

Danielle sighed. "Please don't tell anyone. I don't want the lesser people to think less of me."

Ophelia drummed her fingers on the floor. "I'm pretty sure almost everyone already thinks pretty little of you anyway."

"That's not true!" Danielle shouted, looking worried. "Everyone loves me!"

Ophelia gave a knowing glance to the camera, then turned to Danielle. "It doesn't really matter if anyone likes you or not. You have friends."

"Oh, yeah, I do!" Danielle exclaimed, caressing herself in glee. "Courtney's the sweetest person ever!"

Ophelia sighed. "Actually, I kind of meant me. And George. But mostly me!"

"What, you?" Danielle asked. "Yes, how comforting to me that my other best friend here is someone so… what's a nice word for 'retarded'?"

"There really isn't one," Ophelia said, looking hurt. "I've heard them all, too."

Danielle started crying, then quickly got out of her sleeping bag to glomp Ophelia. "I'm sorry."

Ophelia smiled. "Thank you."

"No, really, I like you," Danielle said. "And I'll have you know I don't just like every random person here. So if I like you, you have to be pretty special."

"That's both really nice and oddly insulting at the same time," Ophelia said, smirking. "Ooh, let's play a game! Do you like poker?"

"Oh, yes," Danielle said, smirking. "I happen to be a poker expert. I'm very good at getting a super hand when there's a lot on the line."

"Isn't that just luck?" Ophelia asked. Danielle shrugged.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: Danielle really isn't so bad. She's just completely selfish and oblivious to anyone else's suffering… OK, that sounded worse than it did in my head. (Ophelia knocks her hand on her head.) Bad head! No dessert for you tonight!

* * *

Early in the morning, Izzy was standing on the Dock of Shame, standing next to Bridgette, who was smirking. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet," _Izzy proclaimed, "we had a challenge where the contestants had to-"

"Let's not go there," Bridgette interrupted. "It was a horrible, cruel challenge that should have never taken place."

"They were going to die one way or another," Izzy said, shrugging. "I don't get the big deal."

"I don't feel right promoting animal slaughter," Bridgette said.

"But I know you'll enjoy today's challenge," Izzy said, smirking.

Bridgette had a huge grin on her face. "Oh, yes. I am **definitely **looking forward to this one. But I feel kind of bad about looking forward to it."

Izzy pat Bridgette on the back. "Welcome to the dark side, kiddo. But we'll get to that in a bit. For yesterday, the contestants had to kill… um… do things. And whoever did the most things won!"

"Smooth save," Bridgette said, smirking.

"I'm trying, OK?" Izzy said. "Anyway, for some reason, Jennie was protesting the contestants doing the thing. And a bit later on, Elizabeth joined in the protest."

"Protesting what?" Bridgette asked.

"Protesting killing the chickens, but I thought you didn't want me to specify that."

"You can mention it if you're talking about the protesting," Bridgette said.

"OK, you're totally confusing," Izzy said. "Sort of like me, I guess, so I can't complain. Getting back to the recap, though, despite Jennie and Elizabeth's protesting the killing of the chickens, their team won the challenge regardless, largely with the help of Stephanie, who, for a city girl, sure was efficient. Team Himalayas, on the other hand, had only one member of their team participating in the challenge: Yancy, who, ironically, was the person the team booted off."

"I don't get why they don't vote off Danielle," Bridgette said.

"She's got friends on the team," Izzy said, then shrugged. "Can't say I understand it, but then, that's what makes it fun! Not knowing!"

"I can't say I agree," Bridgette said, putting her hands in her pockets.

"But that was then, and this is now! For the contestants have had some time to stop worrying about me using their fears in a challenge against them. But what they don't know is that we were still using that challenge! We just wanted them to let their guards down by not springing it on them immediately after collecting the information! Mwahahaha!"

Bridgette smirked. "Mwahahaha!"

Izzy blinked. "Boy, you really got into that!"

Bridgette smirked. "What can I say? I'm feeling a bit mischievous today."

"I'm pretty sure I know why, and I must say, I like that attitude!" Izzy exclaimed. "So who will be able to face their fears? Who won't? And who will be leaving us today? Find out the answer to these, and maybe some other stuff, too, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

Bridgette had a huge grin on her face. "Really, I'm going to hate myself tomorrow for looking forward to this, I just know that I am."

* * *

"Hi Zack," Katrina said as she was walking past Zack, still in her nightgown, and took a seat next to him, sitting on the steps of his cabin. "Did you get a good night's sleep?"

"Not really," Zack said. "I kind of need to keep my eye on those two in there, though it's mostly Percy at the moment. I'm pretty sure Alistair's trying to look good for Mallory."

"Nicole and I had a semi-sleepover outside last night," Katrina said. "I didn't really get a great night's sleep, either." Katrina chuckled to herself. "I mean, not because of Nicole, but just because I'm not very used to sleeping outside.

"Isn't she on another team?" Zack asked.

"Yes," Katrina said. "I don't really care. I don't really think anyone would be trying to use me to gather intel for their own benefit." Katrina started tapping her chin. "Well, maybe Stephanie would."

"She does make me a bit nervous," Zack said.

"As well as everyone else," Katrina said, grinning.

"Good point," Zack said.

"Not counting me, I hope," Katrina said, blushing a bit. "And I'm guessing not counting Mallory, either."

"Or Rain," Zack said.

"Wait, Rain?" Katrina asked, a bit confused. "Mean girl, picks on Rachel, that Rain?"

"She's not so bad," Zack said. "She can be nice."

"Except she hates my best friend, so it's kind of hard for me to really want to get to know her better," Katrina said.

"Rain, right?" Nicole asked, walking up to the two. "Yeah, I do wonder what her problem is. I'd like to get to know her better, talk about issues the two of us would understand, but she's just so… well, scary." Nicole bent down to Zack's level. "Are you the famous Zack?"

"Yes," Zack said nervously.

Nicole reached out her hand and smiled. "I'm Nicole."

Zack reached out his hand, and shook. "Zack… still."

"It's nice to meet you… um, what was your name?" Nicole started giggling. "Kidding, kidding, I remember it, Zack!"

"You're the lesbian, right?" Zack asked. Katrina cringed.

Nicole sighed. "I really wish that wasn't the first thing everyone noticed about me. Really, I'm so much more than that!"

"Oh," Zack said, embarrassed. "I thought you were proud of that."

"Well, I am," Nicole said. "It's just that I'd like to be known as more than just that, though. Like intelligent, and a hard worker, and a good friend."

"We're trying to get the show an e/i rating here, aren't we?" Katrina asked, smirking.

"Well, Izzy does want one," Nicole answered.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (looking down) I feel kind of ashamed, really. How did I not notice Zack before? (Nicole shakes her head.)

* * *

Rachel and Xuxa entered the dining room, though Rachel gasped when she saw Katrina sitting with Nicole. "What are you doing?" Rachel shouted.

"Eating breakfast," Katrina said, trying to cut a piece of egg. "Or trying to, at least."

"I'm sorry I can't share," Nicole said, buttering a blueberry muffin. "If Izzy allowed it, I would."

"That's nice, Katrina, what are you doing with her?" Rachel asked, irritated.

"Eating breakfast, again," Katrina said, still trying to cut the egg. Then took a few napkins to pick it up with and try to bite it herself, though without much luck.

"She's not on our team," Rachel said. "She's trying to gather intel for her own team!"

Nicole blinked. "I can't believe more than one teenager actually uses that word."

Rachel smirked. "And of course, she's trying to convert you to her team, if you know what I mean. And when I say that, I mean-"

"We all know what you mean," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"We're just friends," Katrina said. "I was lonely last night. She kept me company."

"She had two ulterior motives!" Rachel yelled. "Are you that blind?"

"If that's what you're calling it, then yes," Katrina said.

"Whatever! It's time to go and have breakfast with your true friends," Rachel said.

"Why don't you just sit here?" Katrina asked. Nicole looked uncomfortable with that option.

"And sit with her?" Rachel shouted, pointing a finger at Nicole. "Eww, no! Now sit with your friends!"

Katrina smiled, then put her arm around Nicole. "I am."

"Fine!" Rachel yelled. "Be that way! But know this, you ungrateful brat!" Rachel repeatedly poked Katrina, who was looking irritated. "You will regret this. No one defriends Rachel B. Statler and gets away with it!" Rachel stormed off to a far table, dragging an unprepared Xuxa behind her. "Let's go. She's too good for us, apparently."

"Sorry!" Xuxa cried out, waving as she was being pulled away. Katrina sighed.

"Are you all right?" Nicole asked.

Katrina blinked. "What did I just do?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: How **dare **Katrina treat me this way! Who does she think she is? I am Rachel B. Statler and I shall **crush her **for this great injustice!

Stephanie: I really hope Nicole's gotten some useful intel for our team. I can't see any other reason she would have been talking to Katrina.

* * *

Rachel sat with Xuxa, while Rachel was pulling at the sides of her plate, ultimately breaking the plate in two. "What is wrong with her?"

"Are you OK?" Xuxa asked, concerned

"No, you idiot!" Rachel yelled. "Look at her! Thinking she's better than me! Thinking she's too good for us!"

"I don't think she thinks that," Xuxa said.

"Because your feeble little mind is unable to pick up on the subtleties of the teenager!" Rachel yelled. "She has new friends now, and think she doesn't need us!"

"I'm pretty sure you're misreading things here," Xuxa said.

"Like you don't misread things all the time, Miss Everyone-Loves-Me-But-I'm-Completely-Oblivious-to-the-Fact-That-Everyone-Thinks-I'm-Disgusting-and-Completely-Worthless-as-a-Stain-on-Socity!"

"What?" Xuxa said, starting to tear up.

"You heard me!" Rachel yelled.

Xuxa's eyes started watering quickly, and in seconds, she was bawling loudly.

Katrina looked angry. "Nicole, I'm sorry, but I really need to comfort her." Nicole nodded, then sighed as Katrina walked away.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: As annoying as Xuxa can be, I really like seeing Katrina's concern for her. I mean, even if it meant I was eating alone now, I guess.

Mallory: And of course, Katrina used the situation to pretend to be Xuxa's hero. She disgusts me.

Rachel: (banging her head on the wall) Rachel. You. Idiot.

* * *

"Are you OK?" Katrina asked, walking Xuxa out of the dining room.

Xuxa sniffled. "No, not really. Why would Rachel say those things? I mean, I thought we were friends now."

"She's angry because I'm friends with Nicole," Katrina said. "It wasn't about you. She was just angry, and took her anger out on you."

"Oh," Xuxa said, then sniffled again. "It hurt, though."

"Well, yeah," Katrina said. "I didn't mean to imply that it excused her behavior. I just wanted to explain it, since you asked."

Xuxa glomped Katrina, who smiled. "Thank you. At least I can count on you not to try to hurt me. Unless you're saying things behind my back in the confessionals." Xuxa laughed a bit.

Katrina smiled. "I would never do something like that."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: She hasn't, Xuxa. We've checked.

Heather: Izzy isn't looking hard enough! There's no way she hasn't insulted her so-called friends somewhere!

* * *

"I can't believe Katrina would do that," Danielle said, with a plate of slop in front of her as she was sitting with Ophelia, George, and Bob. "She really should be ashamed of herself. I bet her parents don't love her."

"I really don't get why you dislike her so much," George said. "Was using our catapult really the worst thing in the world?"

"It proves she's as evil as Mallory's been saying!" Danielle shouted.

"Katrina's nice," Bob said. "Danielle's a poopy head."

Danielle cringed. "Lovely, why are you sitting with us, again?"

"Bob had nowhere else to go," Bob said.

"Well, you'll soon get to spend time with your hick friend at the Playa' des Losers, so don't dwell on that too much," Danielle said.

"Bob isn't going to lose!" Bob exclaimed.

"Yeah, but our team seems to be losing a lot lately, and the next time we lose, you're gone."

"Why do you say that?" George asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Danielle asked. "You, me, and Ophelia are all close friends, and wouldn't vote for each other, so we would obviously vote for Bob, Bob probably votes for me, and he still loses."

"And you're talking about this in front of him why?" George asked.

"He's too stupid to know what we're talking about anyway," Danielle said.

"Ha ha, good one," Ophelia said, then chuckled to herself. "Wait, I don't really get it."

"Bob's not stupid!" Bob shouted.

"Um, yeah, you kind of are," Danielle said. "We don't really have much use for you."

"He's nice," George said.

"And I smart!" Bob exclaimed.

"Err… he's nice," George repeated.

"It's for the best," Danielle said. "He wouldn't be happy here."

"Bob is happy," Bob said, confused.

"I don't know," Ophelia said, scratching her head. "I can't really tell."

"You gave me a chance," George said. "Why not Bob?"

"Because I can actually hold a conversation with you," Danielle said. "I'll take a defective person I can talk to over a non-defective one I can't, thank you very much."

"I'm not defective," George said.

"I meant that in a nice way," Danielle said. "As in I've come to accept your defectiveness."

"Can you please stop calling me defective?" George asked.

Danielle crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. "Fine."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I don't see why George is so touchy! He should be grateful that I allow him to grace my presence! And besides, I meant defective in a nice way! Like a term of endearment, like-no! No! (Danielle attacks the camera, trying to open it.) I want that tape back! Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?

Ophelia: Ooh, I wonder if George likes being named after Presidents. George Washington, George Bush, George Bush Other One… actually, it's kind of sad that I know who they are, yet I don't know who our own Prime Ministers were. Or even the current one, for that matter! Paul Martin, is it? (Ophelia shrugs.)

* * *

"Good morning, all!" Izzy exclaimed, as she leapt down from the ceiling. Bridgette came in through the kitchen. "I hope you've all had a delicious, nutritious breakfast."

"I'm a little afraid to eat it, actually," Ophelia said, nervously looking at her plate of slop.

"Well, don't worry," Izzy said. "We got a special breakfast for one of you." Chef came out from the kitchen, holding a McDonald's bag, and threw the bag in front of Jennie.

"What is this about?" Jennie asked, angry. "Bridgette, what is this?"

"A part of this challenge I'd forgotten about," Bridgette said, irritated. "Izzy, did we really need to do this?"

"You'll notice some food inside that bag," Izzy said, grinning.

"Yeah, I really don't want that," Jennie said.

"Can I have it, please please please please please?" Ophelia pleaded, getting down on her knees before Jennie. "I mean, it's from Chef, and we're allowed to eat what Chef serves, right?"

Jennie hands Ophelia the bag. "Knock yourself out." Ophelia excited takes out everything from the bag, eating it all in mere seconds.

Izzy smirked. "We'll get more for you, Jennie, so don't worry."

Jennie looked confused. "I really don't want any. I don't like McDonald's."

"Neither do I," Bridgette said. "We're not that different, you and-"

"We're nothing alike," Jennie said darkly. Bridgette nervously backed up.

"Anyway, you will all have a challenge to accomplish, based on your fears," Izzy said, grinning.

"Wait," Stephanie said. "I thought the challenge where we scared the interns was taking place of this challenge!"

"You mean the challenge where you, and only you, scared the interns?" Bridgette asked, smirking.

"I wanted to catch you guys off guard!" Izzy exclaimed. "We couldn't pass this challenge up, but I wanted to do it when you weren't expecting it! Everyone knew it was coming right after everyone confessed their fears, so I waited. Spring this on you when you weren't expecting it!"

"You're a dick," Alistair complained.

"No, she really isn't," Nicole said. "Just eccentric."

"Yep, that's me!" Izzy exclaimed, hugging herself. "We'll have fun for this challenge! And it's simple: complete a challenge, and you get a point for your team. The team with the most points wins, and the team with the least points loses!"

"But that's not fair!" Danielle shouted, worried. "We can only get four points! We'll lose no matter what!"

"Too bad, so sad," Izzy said, dusting off her hands.

"Actually, your team will get double points for every challenge you complete," Bridgette said. "So I would strongly recommend that no one on your team doesn't do their challenge."

"It's still not fair, though," Danielle said. "I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Then it's going to be a very easy two points for your team, won't it," Bridgette said, with a devious grin on her face.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: Funny how truth serum works. Truth serum can't make someone tell the truth if the person doesn't know what the truth is themself, and I believe Danielle is enough in her own little world that she honestly believes she isn't afraid of anything. But I have a sneaking suspicion that I know what she is afraid of, and we'll find out soon enough if I'm right, won't we? (Bridgette wears a mischievous smile, then sighs.) I really should be the bigger person, but just… Danielle drives me crazy.

* * *

The members of Team Moon were with Izzy, who was standing by a tree. "As you can see, there is a kitten up this tree, meowing its poor little eyes out."

"Meowing comes from a cat's mouth, not it's eyes," Stephanie said.

"Thank you," Izzy said sarcastically. "I didn't know that. Good thing you're here to educate me." Stephanie grumbled.

"Who cares?" Todd exclaimed, as he took out a folder chair to relax, and took out some popcorn. "This is good stuff!"

"A poor cute little kitten up a tree is not 'good stuff'!" Jennie yelled.

"The cat was stupid enough to climb the tree, it's now getting punished for thinking it was superior to the tree," Todd said. "Mwahahaha!"

"I can get it out," Elizabeth said, as she started to climb the tree.

"No, you're not," Izzy said, stopping Elizabeth from climbing. "If Team Moon is to get a point for this challenge, Todd has to rescue the kitten."

Todd blinked. "What?"

"You're afraid of doing good," Izzy said. "So to get a point for your team, you must do good by saving the poor little kitten."

"You're kidding!" Todd shouted. "I, the great and amazing Todd, rescuing a kitten? How absurd! I would be laughed out of next year's villain convention!"

"Do it!" Stephanie yelled, poking Todd in the chest. "If you don't, and we lose, I can assure you that you will be the person we vote out."

"And people call me evil," Todd muttered. "Well, fine! The great and amazing Todd can rescue a puny kitten from a tree, you shall see!" Todd posed in front of the tree for a while.

"Get on with it!" Stephanie yelled, getting angrier.

"This is a process which mustn't be rushed," Todd said, then finally started climbing the tree. And upon reaching the kitten, he threw it as hard as he could toward the ground, though the kitten managed to somehow lightly land on its feet and hurry away. "Where was the splat? Why was there no splat?"

"Congratulations!" Izzy exclaimed. "Team Moon is off to a good start, getting a point right off the bat!"

"Good job, Todd," Stephanie said, smirking. "Emphasis on 'good.'"

"Shut up!" Todd yelled. "Shut up or I'll give you an ugly haircut in your sleep!"

"You do and you'll be **dead** in your sleep!" Stephanie screamed.

"Mwahaha!" Todd laughed. "Your comebacks are so lame, that they're lame!"

"I don't think she meant that as a comeback," Nicole said, a bit nervous.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (stroking his goatee) You know, Stephanie would have made for an excellent villain. She really should give it some thought.

Rachel: (bawling her eyes out)

* * *

"OK!" Lindsay exclaimed, having led Team Amazon to the campfire site. Lindsay then took out a sheet of paper, and squinted. "Which of you is Allison?"

Percy chuckled, pointing to Percy. "She just called you a girl!"

Alistair elbowed Percy, hard enough to leave Percy winded. "I am Alistair."

Lindsay beamed. "OK, Allison!"

"Alistair!" Alistair shouted, visibly getting angry.

"According to my notes, you're scared of being poor," Lindsay said. "And so we need to make you broke." Lindsay started tapping her chin. "How was I supposed to do that again?"

Heather walked up to Lindsay, smiling. "Didn't you want to tell Alistair that you had his wallet?"

"Oh, yeah!" Lindsay exclaimed, then reached into the top of her shirt to pull out a wallet. "Alistair's wallet!"

"And I thank you for increasing its value tenfold," Alistair said, smirking.

"That's kind of dirty," Mallory said, nervous.

"Yes it was," Alistair said. "It was a joke in poor taste, and I apologize, m'lady."

"You should apologize for existing!" Rachel yelled, then turned to Katrina. "And **you **should apologize for existing!" Rachel glomped Katrina, crying. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

Katrina looked confused. "Are you OK?"

"Can we talk in private?" Rachel asked, so quietly that no one but Katrina could hear, and Katrina herself could only make it out barely. Katrina nodded, then started walking off behind Rachel.

"Watch your back, Rachel," Heather said, as Katrina and Rachel walked elsewhere.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: I don't know what's wrong with me. Katrina's a great friend, but she defies me! But she deserves to have other friends besides me, but she has to be swayed by someone who's only looking for some action! Urgh! (Rachel breathes in deeply.)

Heather: It's not that Rachel's the world's nicest person, don't get me wrong. But Katrina makes me and Jewel, at our worst, look as kind as lovable as Lindsay, and frankly, I hold out hope that Rachel may get a better attitude eventually.

* * *

"So, Allison-"

"Alistair!" Alistair yelled, getting angrier.

"Sorry, Allison," Lindsay said, looking embarrassed, and holding Alistair's wallet. "You're afraid of being poor, so I'm going to burn your wallet in the campfire, and you get a point for that!"

"Nice try, but I have my wallet on me," Alistair said, then reached into his pocket. And started getting nervous when he realized his pocket was empty. "And apparently one of you is a professional pickpocket."

"Probably Izzy," Heather said.

"So into the fire with the wallet!" Lindsay exclaimed, casually tossing the wallet into the fire, though Alistair leapt for his life to rescue the wallet. "Oh, Victoria, did they hurt you?" Alistair started hugging his wallet.

"Dude, that's a wallet," Percy said.

"She's my baby!" Alistair yelled, then opened his wallet, and saw nothing inside. "Wait, this isn't my wallet! Where's my wallet?"

"Right here, baby," Heather said, taking out a wallet from her pocket, and tossing it to the ground in front of Alistair. "Like we'd really burn your real wallet. But you don't get a point for not allowing us to burn the fake wallet."

Lindsay walked over to Alistair, bending down to pat him on the head. "I'm sorry, Allison. Better luck next time!"

Alistair was grinning wide, looking into Lindsay's cleavage, staring him in the face, though stopped after Mallory stopped him. "OK, I deserved that," Alistair said, looking sheepish.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: Come on! When that sort of cleavage is staring you right in the face, you don't just turn it away! You accept it and enjoy the view. (Alistair smirks.)

* * *

"OK," Rachel said, stopping in front of the cabin area. "I'm sorry. I got jealous."

"It was rather hurtful," Katrina said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I'm mean and stupid, and I'm sorry that I'm mean and stupid," Rachel said, tearing up, then collapsing on Katrina's chest. "I get jealous easily, and that's not your fault."

"I'm allowed to have other friends," Katrina said. "I still like you, though."

Rachel sniffled. "I wish I had your patience. I don't deserve a friend like you. And don't tell anyone I said that."

"I won't," Katrina said, patting Rachel on the back.

"I don't trust Nicole," Rachel said.

"I kind of figured that out," Katrina said, smirking.

"And I really hate the way Mallory treats you," Rachel said. "You really don't deserve that."

"Maybe, or maybe not," Katrina said. "I never really got any sort of real punishment for the things I've done."

"Guilt," Rachel said. "I hate guilt. Look, just know that you're a good person now, OK? That's what I care about. That's who I love." Rachel's eyes went wide. "Like! Like a friend!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: If I could've found the cameras in the area, I would have destroyed the tape inside. Urgh, they're too well hidden, I swear! (Rachel crosses her arms over her chest, irritated.)

* * *

"And here we are," Bridgette said, with Bob, George, Ophelia, and Danielle following. "It's a hole."

"I'm guessing this challenge is for me," George said.

"It's a bottomless pit," Bridgette said. "Though that makes little sense. I'm pretty sure it's just really, really deep. I trust Izzy put something in there so you wouldn't get too injured when you land, anyway."

"Ooh, can I jump in?" Ophelia exclaimed, jumping up and down as if she were on a sugar high. "Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea," Bridgette said. "I don't know what's down there, and George might crush you when he lands… eventually, I guess."

"I can't do this," George said, shaking. "It's… well, it's pretty frightening when you can't see anything."

"Truthfully, it's pretty scary even if you can," Danielle said, walking closer to George, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You can do this! I know you can!"

"Please don't push me," George said.

"I wouldn't do that to you," Danielle said. "I mean, I don't know what it's like to feel afraid, but it's bothering you, I can see that. And I'm not going to try to force you to do it if you can't."

"But you really, really want me to fall, don't you?" George asked.

"Oh yes! Yes yes yes yes yes!" Danielle exclaimed, then toned down and looked embarrassed. "I mean, if you feel up to facing your fear.

George gulped. "Can you ease me into it?"

Danielle nodded, then grabbed his arm. "I'll try. I hope I'm strong enough."

"You can do it," George said. Danielle then gently led George to the hole, then eased George into it, but his weight was quickly too much for Danielle.

"I'll help!" Ophelia exclaimed.

"Bob can help!" Bob exclaimed, but ran right into Ophelia, knocking them both down.

"You're slipping!" Danielle shouted, and lost grip on George as he fell into the hole, screaming for what seemed like an eternity, getting quieter and quieter as the seconds passed.

Bridgette blinked. "OK, just how deep did Izzy dig that hole?"

"I let go," Danielle said, then started tearing up. "I failed him. I was supposed to ease him in, and I was too weak."

Bridgette looked guilty, then put a hand around Danielle. "You did good. Well, did your best."

Danielle glomped Bridgette. "Thank you."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I don't like Danielle, don't get me wrong. It's just that, well, she was trying to do good and help George, and just couldn't, and she seemed devastated. Everyone's got a little bit of good in them at least, right?

Danielle: (crying softly, wiping a tear from her eye) I failed.

* * *

"And we're off to a good start in today's challenge!" Izzy exclaimed, with the members of Team Moon standing before her. "Team Himalayas is in the lead with two points-probably a mistake-Team Moon has one point, and Team Amazon has zero, but those scores can change quickly!"

"Those scores **will **change quickly!" Stephanie yelled. "We always win!"

"Yes, yes," Izzy said. "We'll see, won't we? And-" Izzy stopped short as her cell phone rang, and Izzy removed it from her skirt answered it. "Hello." Izzy nodded. "Yes, Bridgette, what do you want?" Izzy looked a bit surprised, but then waved her hand dismissively to the phone. "Don't worry, George will be OK." Izzy backed her ear away from the phone as it got louder. "Yes, I probably should've told you how that was going to be handled before, but don't worry, I'm not cruel like that. Who do you think I am, Chris?" Izzy nodded once more. "Goodbye!" Izzy closed the phone, and put it back in her skirt.

"Something happened to George?" Nicole asked.

"We can only hope!" Todd exclaimed. "Hopefully something dreaded, dangerous, and dastardly! Mwahahaha!"

"OK," Izzy said. "For now, though, Team Himalayas is winning, but will they be able to win it in the end? Stay tuned for more _Total Drama Alphabet!_

"So, um, really, what happened to George?" Nicole asked again.


	19. Day 9, Part 2: Breakthrough

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 19: Day 9: Part 2: Breakthrough**

"I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this!" Jennie shouted, shaking in fear as she was seated in a booth outside, with Izzy and the rest of Team Moon watching.

"You'll like it!" Stephanie yelled. "I'll make you like it!"

"How about you leave her alone?" Elizabeth asked, irritated.

"How about you not try to go from murderer to murderee!" Stephanie yelled.

"Do you really want to threaten me?" Elizabeth asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I do!" Stephanie screamed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: No, I really, really don't, but I'm not about to lose!

* * *

"Please don't, Liz," Jennie said, nervously looking to Elizabeth. "You don't want that." Elizabeth sighed.

Izzy placed a tray in front of Jennie, with a small hamburger, small French fry, and a small drink. "In order to earn a point for your team, you must eat what is in front of you."

"No!" Jennie shouted, looking angry. "Who eats this crap? Bridgette?"

"Um, no," Izzy said, irritated. "Bridgette was actually pretty distraught when she found out the fries were injected with beef extract."

Jennie rolled her eyes. "Figures that **she **wouldn't know that."

"No one cares, just eat it!" Stephanie yelled.

Hank started singing. Not very well. "Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, get yourself an egg and beat it-"

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" Stephanie yelled, covering her ears.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: I'm not sure what was worse: that Hank cannot sing at all, or that he was mangling the words! It's "beat it," not "eat it!" Who the hell doesn't know that?

* * *

Jennie looked at the food in front of her, looking as if she could vomit. "No. Way."

"It's not that bad, just eat it, already!" Stephanie yelled, pulling at her hair.

"Just relax," Nicole said, putting a hand on Stephanie's shoulder. "If we lose, we'll just do better next time."

"Don't patronize me like that!" Stephanie snapped. "If we lose, she's going to vote me off, I just know it!"

"Probably," Jennie said, smirking.

"I wouldn't really blame her," Elizabeth said.

"If we lose, you could just vote me off," Veronica said. "I probably deserve it."

"No!" Stephanie and Jennie shouted in unison.

Stephanie glared at Jennie, then grabbed the burger, and tried to shove it into Jennie's mouth, which she was leaving tightly closed. "Eat it!" Jennie was screaming with her mouth shut tight, looking scared.

"OK, stop that!" Elizabeth shouted, grabbing Stephanie, who started screaming. She let herself loose, grabbed the soda, and, looking somewhat deranged, splashed it in Jennie's face. Then bolted off as Elizabeth, looking very angry, gave chase. Jennie herself looked stunned, just standing there, with her arms out for several seconds, then hurried off herself.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (with a black eye) That psychopath! How dare she do that to me! (Stephanie looked surprised for a moment, then started laughed.) OK, I meant the chasing me thing. (Stephanie points to her eye.) She didn't touch me, but I tripped while I was running away from her. I wouldn't want to start a rumor like that.

Elizabeth: (glaring into the camera) OK, Stephanie, you had **better **not be lying about how you got that black eye to the whole viewing world. She tripped. I didn't touch her! So whatever she said about me, don't believe her!

Nicole: (drumming her fingers on the arm of the chair, propping her head up with her other hand) I'm having trouble remembering why I like Stephanie.

Todd: Stephanie should consider dressing as my own hench harlequin. The dark forces could use a pretty face. Or an ugly face with tons of makeup, as the case may be.

* * *

Bridgette was leaning against the wall of the outside of the backroom, with her hands in her pockets and one foot against the wall, perpendicular to the wall. Bob was standing there too, and Ophelia was standing upside-down, on her heads.

"Has it been twenty minutes yet?" Ophelia asked. "I want to beat your record!"

"It's not exactly a world record," Bridgette said.

"Oh, that's OK," Ophelia said, waving dismissively to Bridgette somehow, able to balance on one hand for a couple of seconds to do so. "I just want to brag to everyone how I beat you!"

"Um, thanks," Bridgette said. "I guess I should check up on her?"

"I think she needs some alone time right now, really," Ophelia said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (bawling her eyes out) **I'm sorry, George!**

* * *

Jennie was walking toward the bathroom, covered in soda, looking very angry.

"Are you OK?" Bridgette asked.

"Like you really care," Jennie said, glaring as she passed Bridgette, and walked into the bathroom.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I really don't understand what I did.

* * *

Danielle was sobbing as she exited the bathroom, with all of her makeup running, clinging to Bridgette. "Jennie's so mean! She yelled at me for no reason!"

"I can actually believe that," Bridgette said. "Look, Izzy said that George is fine, and I don't think she'd lie. About that, at least."

"Ooh, what would she lie about?" Ophelia asked, smirking, still upside-down. "Ophelia wants to know!"

"Silly things," Bridgette said. "Weird things. Things that aren't that important."

"But it's my fault!" Danielle cried out, melting into figurative goo. "I let him go."

"You tried," Bridgette said.

"I failed!" Danielle cried. "I failed, and he's dead because of me!"

"He's going to be OK," Bridgette said.

"What?" Danielle asked. "Is he going to just fall out of the sky, with me… err, Bob breaking his fall?"

A mere few seconds later, George fell from the sky, screaming, as he landed on Bob, knocking him to the ground. Everyone looked confused. "That actually worked?" Bridgette asked.

"It often does work in cartoons," Danielle said, then rushed over to glomp George. "You're alive!"

"Well, yes, I suppose I am," George sad. "Um, what happened, anyway?"

"I dropped you," Danielle said. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" George asked. "Is this the real Danielle?"

Danielle glared at him. "Of course! I'm nice and sweet and almost perfect! Of course I can apologize on the very rare occasion I'm less than perfect!"

"Bob is in pain," Bob said, from beneath George and Danielle.

"Ooh, hop on pop time!" Ophelia exclaimed, then started jumping up and down on Bob's belly. "Or maybe it's hob on Bob. Is hob a word?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: You know, I don't think Bob likes me, for some reason. I thought fat people were usually jolly. Sort of the opposite of skinny people, like Danielle, who are always cranky. (Ophelia shrugs.) Guess you can't believe everything that everyone says.

George: I don't know if I get Danielle. She sounds and smells like the most beautiful woman in the world, but her behavior… well, she can be so sweet sometimes, and other times, well, not so much.

* * *

The contestants on Team Amazon followed Lindsay and Heather to a large cage with a tiger in it, who was shuffling some papers on his desk.

"This is a man-eating tiger," Lindsay said. "So a girl should be safe, I think."

"Who was afraid of tigers?" Heather asked. "I don't remember anyone mentioning being afraid of tigers."

"Katrina," Lindsay said. "A tiger's like a really big cat, right?"

"Oh, her," Heather said, smirking. "This challenge should be fun, then."

"A tiger?" Katrina shouted. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Don't worry," Heather said, with a devious grin on her face. "We have a specially trained person in there, just in case the unthinkable happens. But for a point, you must face your fear of cats."

"Cats?" Mallory asked, raising an eyebrow.

Katrina sighed. "If I must. I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" Xuxa asked, worried. "I don't want you to get eaten!"

"She'll be fine," Rachel said, irritated.

"Yes, I will be," Katrina said, then opened the door to the cage and went inside. "Hello, big guy," Katrina said, nervously smiling as she waved at the tiger doing paperwork at his desk. The tiger looked up from his work, shook his head, then continued doing what it was doing earlier.

"OK, she wins, get her out now," Rachel said quickly.

"She has to approach the tiger closer," Heather said, irritated.

"She does?" Lindsay asked, confused.

Katrina walked closer to the tiger, until she stopped close before it. She then looked like she was getting in a pouncing position, then pounced upon the tiger, which looked like it was going to attack, but Katrina wound up looking as if she were cradling the tiger like a baby, and rubbing the tiger under its chin. Katrina was smiling, and the tiger looked happy.

Heather's eye was twitching. "Team Amazon gets a point."

"I'm glad she didn't die!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Heather.

"I'm not sure I can share that sentiment," Heather said. "Are you sure that was her fear? Maybe Izzy mixed up some of the names?"

"We can check the tapes, I guess," Lindsay said. "But they get a point, right?"

"Yes," Heather said, narrowing her eyes. "I'll be back," Heather said. "I'm got some things to check on."

Heather started walking away, though Mallory quickly caught up. "Katrina's not afraid of cats."

"I'm not surprised," Heather said.

"She had a pet jaguar," Mallory said. "She might still have it, I don't know, really. I think she would have preferred a tiger, but she wanted a cat that would purr."

"Really," Heather said. "I don't suppose you know what she is afraid of."

"Oh, yes, I do," Mallory said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Heather: (slapping her own face in frustration) Charlotte, you dope! Katrina didn't drink the truth serum! And she was smart enough to lie about her fear. Clever. But I'm not letting you off that easy, since your old "friend" happens to know what you truly are afraid of.

* * *

Izzy was standing before a vertical lift drawbridge, dressed in a green robe and pointy green wizard's hat. "Stop!" Izzy announced, followed by a lightning strike. "No one crosses-"

"How did you do the lightning?" Todd asked. "I've got to know how you did that!"

"There's a storm nearby," Izzy said. "That was pretty good timing, though. I must thank mother nature for that, really."

Veronica shrugged. "Guess this is for me. Might as well get this over with."

"You're not too scared?" Elizabeth asked.

Stephanie slapped her own face in frustration. "Oh, for the love off-don't try to talk her out of it!"

"It's fine," Veronica said. "I'll probably die, but no one's going to miss me."

"I'd miss you," Nicole said shyly.

"No, you really won't," Veronica said, as she walked over the bridge. "Good thing I've already made out my will." Veronica walked across the bridge, which took several minutes, until she stopped shortly before the grill, looking terrified.

"You're kidding," Stephanie muttered, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Are you really going to stop?"

"I'm going," Veronica said, but froze again before stepping onto the grill. "I'm going, eventually. I think."

"You really are worthless!" Stephanie yelled.

"Aren't you being a little, I don't know, harsh?" Nicole said, playing with her hair a bit.

"She needs it!" Stephanie yelled, then turned back to Veronica. "Get moving and get across that-never mind!" Stephanie stormed up the bridge, toward a Veronica who was now looking frightened of Stephanie, grabbing her hand, and physically dragging her, though she quickly started running on her own. Which didn't last for long, as the bridge started lifting.

"What is this?" Stephanie yelled, looking over the railing, screaming down at Izzy. "Isn't the poor girl scared enough?"

"Like you actually care," Hank muttered.

"**I heard that!**" Stephanie screamed, but then looked over to Veronica, who was just lying on the grill, clutching onto it, blubbering.

"This is the third time this has happened to me," Veronica said, holding onto the grill for dear life. "At least it's not a bascule bridge this time."

Stephanie looked confused, then sat down, patting Veronica on the back. "It'll be OK." Stephanie looked over toward Izzy, glaring at her, shaking a fist.

"Be happy, you get a point," Izzy said, a bit irritated.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: I don't get Stephanie. But then, I don't get me either, so who am I to judge?

* * *

"All right, Color Girl!" Lindsay exclaimed, with Heather rolling her eyes next to her, with her arms crossed over her chest, and the members of Team Amazon standing before them.

"Color Girl?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know why she's calling me that, either," Heather said.

"Next, Melanie, please step up," Lindsay said.

Mallory stepped forward. "I'm assuming that means me."

"That's a safe bet," Heather said.

"Do we even know what her fear is?" Rachel asked. "She wasn't around when Charlotte gave us all that funny drink."

"And you think you're smarter than I am," Alistair said, rolling his eyes. "Mallory is afraid of Katrina."

"No, she's afraid of Katherine," Lindsay said, pouting. "Who's Katherine, though? Did Izzy mean Katie? She's not that scary, is she?"

"No, she meant Katrina," Heather said, pointing out Katrina, waving nervously. "Her."

"Oh," Lindsay said, then squinted her eyes. "She is kind of scary, I guess."

"I hate Lindsay for this challenge, too," Heather muttered. "Anyway, to win a point for your team, you have to spend an hour with Katrina in the punishment shack."

Mallory blinked. "You're kidding."

"I wish I were," Heather muttered, looking upset.

"Look," Katrina said, nervously holding her hands together. "I understand if Mallory doesn't want to do this. I don't blame her if she doesn't want to do this, and if we lose, I promise not to vote for her."

"I will know if you really vote for her or not," Heather said, glaring at Katrina.

"OK," Mallory said, smiling. "I'm not doing it."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: She is so voting for me if we lose. I can already picture the confessional: she's going to say something like how much she doesn't like Percy, but she's going to be writing my name down.

* * *

"Guess Team Amazing isn't getting that point, Color Girl," Lindsay said to Heather.

"I'm actually kind of glad Mallory didn't go through with it. She really didn't need that stress, Lindsay."

"Madame Mystery," Lindsay said. "Call me Madame Mystery."

Heather crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her finger on her other arm. "No."

Lindsay sighed. "Fine. But still, Percy is next."

Sadie came walking toward Lindsay, not looking overly happy, with Katie following her. "I'm here."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Katie asked, worried.

"I'll be OK," Sadie said, smiling bright.

"That's good," Lindsay said, smiling bright, then turned to Percy. "But can **you **do it, Patrick?"

"Percy," Percy said. "And I can do you." Percy wiggled his eyebrows.

Katrina shuddered, then took out a frying pan from inside her shirt, and whacked Percy on the head.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (looking on edge) He. Totally. Creeps. Me. Out.

* * *

"To earn a pint, Patrick-"

"Percy," Percy said, annoyed. "Stupid bitch." Heather's eyebrow twitched.

Lindsay looked devastated, but continued on. "To earn a point, you must spend one hour in the punishment shack with Sadie."

"And Katie?" Percy asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Just me," Sadie said.

"And Lindsay?" Percy asked.

"Didn't you just call me a bitch?" Lindsay asked, narrowing her eyes.

"You're still hot, though, so who cares," Percy said, then put his arm around Rachel, putting her in a sort of state of shock. "What about this beauty queen?" Percy was immediately smacked on the head by Katrina with her frying pan.

Katrina blew the 'smoke' off the frying pan. "You're welcome."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Percy: (rubbing his head) Probably should've tried Mallory. Katrina hates her, right?

* * *

Percy put his arm around Mallory, who instantly looked freaked out. "So, Mallory…"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Percy: (with a large lump coming out from his head, holding his head in pain) Oh, yeah. Mallory hates Katrina, not the other way around. Yeesh!

Mallory: (pulling her hair for a few moments, then calms down.) I really hate saying this, but thank you, Katrina.

* * *

Heather glared at Percy. "You get a point if you go in the punishment shack with Sadie, and only Sadie."

"Can I borrow your frying pan, Katrina?" Sadie asked.

"You won't need it, fatty," Percy said.

"Can you not call her that?" Katie asked, glaring at Percy.

"Can she not be an ugly whore?" Percy asked. Katie immediately lunged at Percy, hitting him, kicking him, and even taking a bite.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (blows a kiss into the air above him) Goodbye chance at voting off Katrina next time.

Katrina: (smiling bright) Hello opportunity to patch things up with Mallory!

* * *

"Come on," Stephanie said, massaging Nicole's shoulders in the corner of a boxing ring. "This'll be a cinch!"

"No, it won't," Nicole said, looking fearfully toward the other corner of the ring, where a huge guy was waiting, pounding his boxing gloves together.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (with a black eye) You know, the funny thing is, this isn't quite what I meant when I mentioned being afraid of getting beat up. I was thinking more of being ganged up on at school, but I have to admit, going against a three hundred fifty pound boxer is pretty darn frightening as well.

* * *

Izzy walked into the center of the ring, wearing a referee outfit, and brought down a microphone from the sky somehow. "In this corner, weighing in at three hundred sixty-two pounds, he's works as a car compactor for his day job, and he's sent eleven opponents to the ER, it's Ned!" Ned took out a bottle of beer, and took a chunk off the top with his teeth, chewed it, then swallowed. "He's also sent himself to the ER seventeen times just doing that." Izzy pointed over toward Nicole's corner. "And in this corner, weighing… well, we promised not to tell, Nicole Cherry!"

"Thanks for not announcing the weight," Nicole said, then gulped. "I guess it's time for me to die?"

"Let's not think negative," Stephanie said. "You've got a good, sporting chance of surviving, right?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (with a black eye) I was worried. If she died, I'd probably be gone in the next episode, since Nicole's the only one here who doesn't seem to harbor irrational hatred toward me. I don't understand why they would want to get rid of their strongest player.

* * *

Nicole was standing in the middle of the ring, and gulped. Ned was towering above her, looking angry, while Izzy was standing between them. "And fight!" Izzy exclaimed, then leapt out of the way, while Nicole looked up at Ned with puppy dog eyes.

"Uh… hi?" Nicole said, scared. Ned raised his fist slowly, then swung it ridiculously fast, right at Nicole's face, knocking her out as she flew back, hitting Stephanie in the face.

Izzy blinked. "Team Moon gets a point."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (spinning around the room, still with the black eye) Whee! I'm a helicopter! Whoosh!

* * *

"We're waiting for the clock toooo strike three, when it's three o'clock weeee'll be free!"

"Please let Bob concentrate," Bridgette said to Danielle, as Bob was at a school desk, holding his head as if he had a headache.

"But I'm a great singer," Danielle said, looking as if she could cry.

"You are," Bridgette said. "But if you want a point for your team, Bob really needs to concentrate."

"You're just a hater," Danielle said.

"No, really, if you're still here when we get to the talent show competition, you should sing something for us."

"Were you supposed to let that out?" George asked.

* * *

**Confessional Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: Probably not, but I didn't want to hear Danielle whine again. It was worth it.

Danielle: When I get to perform, everyone will finally get to see how truly good I am! I can't wait! Everyone's going to love me! (Danielle holds her hands together and gets stars in her eyes.)

* * *

"This is too hard!" Bob complained, looking at a paper in front of him. "What's this funny squiggly thing?"

"It's an integration symbol, duh," Danielle said, rolling her eyes. "All you have to do is-"

"Bob can't take this!" Bob screamed.

"Maybe you should go on to an easier problem," Bridgette said, turning to the back of the paper."

Bob blinked, then pointed to something on the paper. "What's this?"

"That's a plus sign," Danielle said, slapping her face in frustration. "Two plus three is not very difficult."

"It's harder than two plus two," Ophelia said, shrugging.

"You're not really helping," Danielle said.

"Good thing I wasn't trying to help," Ophelia said, smirking.

Bob started screaming loudly, then ran away as fast as he could. "**Long division!**" Bob screamed as he ran over the hill in hysterics.

Danielle slapped her own face again. "And that's worse than calculus?"

"Well, you don't get any points for that," Bridgette said, then turned to Danielle, grinning. "Looks like you're going to have to be pretty brave if you don't want to lose."

"I'm ready," Danielle said, smirking, motioning her fists. "I can do anything!"

"I'd rather save the best for last," Bridgette said, still grinning. "Make it more suspenseful, and all."

"I'm the best?" Danielle asked, smiling bright, then tried to contain her excitement. "I mean, duh, of course I'm the best! Everyone knows that."

"That's not quite what I meant," Bridgette said, rubbing the back of her neck.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (going cross-eyed, speaking in a dopey voice) Hi, I'm Bob. (Ophelia starts speaking in her normal voice.) Yeah, I don't get him. What makes Bob so special? I can do that too! (Ophelia goes cross-eyed and starts speaking in her dopey voice again.) Hi, I'm Ophelia. (Ophelia starts tapping her chin, then speaks normally again.) Actually, I probably wouldn't be able to pronounce my own name.

* * *

"**Do it!**" Stephanie screamed, getting in Hank's face, as he was cowering on the ground.

"Don't wanna'!" Hank shouted.

"**Now!**" Stephanie demanded.

"Not gonna'," Hank said.

"**You need to see Courtney so she can berate you whether you like it or not!**" Stephanie screamed.

"You can't make me!" Hank said, clutching the ground.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: You know, on one hand, Stephanie was being kind of rough with Hank. But on the other hand, Hank was essentially facing his fear with Stephanie. I mean, of course, Hank didn't get a say in the matter, but I was hoping Izzy was feeling generous.

* * *

Izzy stroked her chin. "Izzy is feeling generous. She will graciously count that as Hank facing his fear, and Team Moon gets a point!" Izzy looked to Nicole. "Can you try to repeat my words later on in the confessional, to make it seem really weird and freaky?"

Nicole shrugged. "I'll try."

"You did it!" Stephanie exclaimed, lifting Hank as she hugged him. Then she looked confused and dropped him. "What the hell am I doing?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: She wants me. I think. Maybe.

* * *

"Rachel, meet Rain," Heather said, showing off Rain, standing before her. "Rain, meet Rachel."

"I know who this slime ball is!" Rain bellowed as she pounded her fists together.

Rachel was quivering before Rain. "I'm ready."

"What?" Rain asked. "You're not going to cry, or beg for mercy, or ask for Mommy?"

"No," Rachel said. "Let's just do this."

"Aren't you afraid?" Rain asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Very," Rachel said. "I'm not getting any blame if we lose today, though."

Rain started turning red, then poked Rachel's nose with her finger. "Well, if I don't punch you, you don't get a point, and there's nothing you can do about that!"

"Actually, she does," Lindsay said.

"Oh," Rain said, looking disappointed. "Well, might as well hit you anyway then!" Rachel gulped.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (rubbing her black eye) That. Hurt. A lot.

* * *

"**Now!**" Stephanie screamed at Quincy, pointing to the amphitheater stage.

Quincy gulped. "I'd really prefer-"

"**Now!**" Stephanie screamed, as she picked up Quincy and threw him onto the amphitheater stage. Quincy soon picked himself up, and made his way to the podium in the middle of the stage, then wiped some sweat from his forehead.

Quincy was standing on the amphitheater stage, and gulped at a podium placed in the middle of the stage. Then wiped some sweat from his forehead. "I am Quincy. I am a contestant in _Total Drama Alphabet. _I am on Team Moon, the same team as the rest of you."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: That speech was so boring and long, it was outright… evil! That sort of speech would make for a great weapon in my arsenal, mwahahaha!

Nicole: (pulling on her hair, screaming)

* * *

"And then in third grade, when the teacher was teaching us the difference between the subject and the predicate, well, I can't tell you how long it took me to catch on, and then, wow, everything tricky again when we learned that the subject doesn't always come before the predicate. But then, we learned about…"

Almost everyone in the audience had fallen asleep. Nicole was awake, looking somewhat jittery. Stephanie was awake as well, on the ground, banging her head against it.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: OK, I have a new biggest fear now: listening to another Quincy speech! **Augh!** (Nicole pulls on her hair.)

* * *

"Let's not panic, we can still win!" Danielle said nervously, as she, George, and Ophelia were following Bridgette, though Danielle's eye was twitching. "We can win, yes, we will win! We must win, but we will win, so we needn't fear for we are winning!"

"We're not panicking," George said.

"Good, because we can't panic, panicking is baaaad!" Danielle said, shaking her head.

"Are you OK?" Bridgette asked, a bit concerned.

"Oh, yes, fine, peachy," Danielle said. "I don't want to lose!"

Bridgette looked nervous, then turned ahead of the group. "Well, here we are, the great potato race of Wawanakwa!"

Ophelia's eyes widened. "Potato race?"

"Yes, potato race," Bridgette said, then picked up a nearby flashlight. "And we've got the flashlight."

"No… no! **No!**" Ophelia screamed.

Danielle slapped Ophelia across the face. "Snap out of it! You can do this! We need these points!"

"You're right, yes, you're right," Ophelia said, nervous, then glared at George. "Since **someone **wants to vote me out over Bob."

"I didn't say that. Exactly," George said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Ophelia looked at George with flames in her eyes, then turned to Bridgette, motioning her hand toward herself. "Bring those evil batteries on!"

"OK," Bridgette said, nodding, as she opened the flashlight. As soon as she did, a couple of batteries popped out, with little mouths.

"Bite, bite, bite!" the batteries shouted, as they hopped over toward Ophelia.

Ophelia was mumbling incoherently, scooting herself on the ground, nervously watching the batteries as they approached, and ultimately jumped on her, and one bit. Ophelia screamed, and started running around in circles, screaming for a long time.

"OK, those really are kind of scary," Danielle said, looking shocked.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (shivering, with her feet up on the chair, curling her arms around her knees) Now I am **really **afraid of those things!

Izzy: Katrina's really an electronics whiz! I don't know who else we could've found who could've made those batteries!

Katrina: (smiling shyly, rubbing her feet together) Well, Izzy said she had no idea how to pull off the attacking talking batteries thing, and it sounded like a fun challenge for myself, really, and… well, I did it! I hope Ophelia's OK, though. I heard she didn't take well to them.

* * *

Izzy was rubbing her head on a sheep, while Elizabeth was watching nervously. Izzy stopped after several minutes, and lightning bolts were going through her hair. "In order to earn a point, Elizabeth, you must let me touch you. Mwahahaha!" Izzy looked around, looking somewhat crazed.

"That's my line," Todd said, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes, but I'm the mad scientist today!" Izzy exclaimed. "Or, OK, I'm not really a scientist, but I am mad, I promise!"

"We believe you," Nicole said.

"No," Elizabeth said, glaring at Stephanie.

"I didn't say anything yet!" Stephanie yelled.

"You were going to, and no," Elizabeth muttered.

"Well, yes, I was going to say it eventually," Stephanie said. "And yes, you **are **doing this!"

"Maybe you shouldn't make her do it," Nicole said.

"No!" Stephanie yelled. "I don't want my ass on the line here, so killer girl's doing this!" Stephanie yelled.

"I'm not going to touch her," Elizabeth muttered, irritated.

"Then I'll bring her to you!" Stephanie yelled, as she went to grab Izzy by the hand, in an effort to pull her over toward Elizabeth. But instead, Stephanie got electrocuted, enough so that she looked like an x-ray for a second before she was blasted high into the sky, screaming.

Elizabeth blinked. "I'm definitely not doing that."

"Maybe I overdid the static," Izzy said, stroking her chin. "I probably still have a little left, though. You can still get a point if you let me touch you."

Elizabeth sighed. "Fine. Since Stephanie's not here bugging me, why not?"

"OK," Izzy said, then touched Elizabeth, which shocked her slightly, though Elizabeth was screaming bloody murder. "Are you OK?" Izzy asked.

"That was horrible!" Elizabeth shouted, looking scared. "OK, I was insane to let you do that!"

"You do get a point, though," Izzy said, smiling. "You should be proud!" Izzy pat Elizabeth on the shoulder, which shocked her again, putting her into a panic. "Oops… sorry. Forgot about that."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: The horror… the horror! The stolen movie quotes! But really, I don't know what I'd have done if Stephanie hadn't caught the brunt of that!

Stephanie: (looking deranged) I. Will. **Kill** Elizabeth!

* * *

"All right… Zed!" Lindsay exclaimed. Zack stepped forward. "Now, to get a point for Team Amazing, you need to let me slap you across the face."

"Please don't," Zack said.

Katrina stepped up next to Zack, and held his left hand. "You can't do it! It won't be too bad. It won't hurt for too long."

Mallory glared at Katrina, then took Zack's right hand. "You don't have to listen to her! Getting slapped really hurts. I wouldn't blame you for backing out."

"I didn't really mean he had to do it," Katrina said. "I just wanted to offer some encouragement for him."

"To save your own butt, I'm sure," Mallory said, then leaned her head on Zack's shoulder. "I'm more worried about you, though. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Thank you, Mallory, but I'll be OK," Zack said. "I can do this one more time, at least."

"One more time?" Katrina said, looking confused.

"Are you sure?" Lindsay asked.

"Yes," Zack said, then nodded, as Lindsay slapped Zack across the face, harder than it looked like he was expecting.

"Oh my God, did I hurt you?" Lindsay asked, looking guilty, as she started caressing Zack's face, then hugged him. "I did bad, didn't I?"

"They got a point," Heather said. "He'll live." Heather glared at Katrina. "You think you're so smart, though, conning Zack into doing this challenge just to save your own hide."

"I thought it would be good for him to be able to face his fear," Katrina said, nervously looking at Heather.

"Yet you didn't," Heather said, smirking.

"Wh… what are you talking about?" Katrina asked, looking scared.

Heather took out a pug puppy from behind her back. "Want to come pet the puppy?"

"Aww, it's so cute!" Rachel exclaimed, holding her hands together, petting the dog. "He's so adorable!"

"It's a she," Heather said.

"She's so adorable!" Rachel exclaimed, still petting the dog.

"OK, that is disgusting," Alistair said.

"Aww, come on, it's cute," Mallory said, smiling.

"Not the dog, I meant, Rachel!" Alistair shouted.

"Oh, her," Mallory said. "Yeah, can't argue that."

"Don't you want to come pet the dog, Katrina," Heather said, glaring at Katrina, looking scared. "It's just a harmless puppy, after all." The pug looked over to where Katrina was, and started growling viciously.

Katrina gulped. "No thank you, I'll pass."

"Aww, but he's dying to meet you," Heather said, wearing a fake smile, then she put the dog on the ground. The dog started barking like mad, and rushed straight for Katrina, who was screaming as she ran as fast as she could.

"OK, that dog is less cute now," Rachel said, blinking in shock. "Dogs shouldn't chase little girls."

"She's not a little girl," Mallory said, irritated. Rachel slapped her own face in frustration.

"This is fun," Alistair said, taking out some popcorn to munch on.

"Oh, yes, it is," Heather said, watching excitedly as the dog chased Katrina around the camp.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Heather: Now, I know it seemed kind of like something the old Heather might've done, but believe you me, after years and years and years of getting off scot-free, some sort of justice had to be done! (Heather pounds her fist into the palm of her other hand.)

Mallory: Was it wrong of me to enjoy seeing Katrina get some form of justice after all these years? Will I be going to Hell for enjoying that? Probably, but Katrina will be there with me. (Mallory's eyes go wide.) Wait, that's actually a lot worse for me than it is her!

Rachel: Seriously, Mallory, play some _Mega Man _sometime!

* * *

"That was kind of mean, Heather," Lindsay said.

"She deserved it," Heather said, crossing her arms over her chest again.

"I guess… did she?" Lindsay asked, putting a finger to her mouth. "Anyway… um… how do you pronounce your name?" Lindsay asked to Xuxa.

"Xuxa," Xuxa said. "Like the Brazilian children's show host."

Lindsay blinked. "Who?"

"Shoe, like the things you wear on your feat, then shuh, like… um… like the last part of that demon girl's name." Lindsay blinked in confusion.

"She means fuchsia," Mallory said.

"Oh, Xufuchsia!" Lindsay exclaimed, clapping for her figuring it out! "I got it, Xufuchsia!"

"Xuxa, actually," Xuxa said.

"No, you can't fool me Xufuchsia, I remembericaled your name," Lindsay said, waving dismissively to Xuxa. "Now, Xufuchsia, to get a point, you need to hug him!" Lindsay pointed over to where Owen, in a giant louse costume, was standing. "Say hi to Lickey Louse!"

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Lickey Louse? What about Mick-"

"No, no, no!" Heather exclaimed. "Getting the rights to use, erm, the most famous toon in the world would have cost the show almost half its budget."

"Still, Lickey Louse?" Rachel said. "You could've just used Bonkers D. Bobcat to save money, since you're obviously familiar with who that is, and had someone far less disgusting."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: Yeah, the mouse would have made us pretty broke. I mostly went with the louse because, hey, it rhymed! I like rhyming!

* * *

Xuxa shuddered as she looked over at Owen in the Lickey Louse costume. "So horrible!"

"**You can do it!**" Katrina screamed as she ran past, with the puppy still giving her chase.

"Well, Katrina is pretty smart," Xuxa said, putting her finger to her mouth. "And she's my friend! If she says I can do it, then I can do it!"

Xuxa started to walk over to Lickey Louse nervously.

"Uh, hi?" Owen as Lickey Louse said. Xuxa then took out a baseball bat. "Um, what are you doing to do with that? Are we playing baseball?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Owen: (beaten and bruised, rubbing his back with his hand) Xuxa did not want to play baseball, I can tell you.

Izzy: Well, Xuxa was brave enough to stand up to her fear. And beat it half to death. I guess that sort of counts. Team Amazon finishes with four points, but will it be enough? Team Moon does already have six points.

* * *

"Well, you have six points," Izzy said to the members of Team Moon. "But Team Himalayas has a perfect score of eight, so Stephanie, you need to do this final challenge!"

"What's the point, though, if we can't catch up?" Stephanie asked, raising an eyebrow and with her hands on her hips.

"Well… Team Amazon has six points, so you need this so you don't lose!"

"I'll take the tiebreaker!" Stephanie shouted.

"There's no tiebreaker," Izzy said nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "Out of fairness, since your team has more players, you'll lose automatically if you tie."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Izzy: (sitting with her legs crossed, twiddling her fingers) OK, I may have sort of lied about the scores, and losing a tiebreaker, but I didn't really want Stephanie to get a free pass here. Not after the way she's been tormenting the rest of her teammates today.

* * *

"All you have to do, Stephanie, is walk around completely nude for the rest of the challenge!" Izzy exclaimed. "Do that and you'll get your team that much-needed seventh point!"

Stephanie's eyebrow was twitching, as she stood there in shock. "**What?**" Stephanie screamed. "**No!**"

"Tsk, tsk," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Your team is going to hate you for this hypocritical attitude of yours."

"**They already hate me!**" Stephanie screamed.

"And you'll just give them a new reason to hate you," Izzy said. "Shame."

"You really expect me to walk around the camp naked?" Stephanie yelled.

"I won't complain," Todd said. "Beggar's can't be choosers, after all."

Stephanie's eye started twitching again. "I'll have you know, my body is **spectacular!** Not that you will ever see it!"

"No, I'm pretty sure that was Isis, the other black chick," Todd said, grinning. "You were the ugly one."

Steam was literally coming out of Stephanie's ears, then she rushed up to Todd, giving him a solid punch, sending him on his back. "**DON'T YOU DARE INSULT MY APPEARANCE LIKE THAT!**"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (smirking) Looks like I know how to make Stephanie angry. (Todd strokes his goatee.) Well, angri**er**, I should say. Just using the wrong word can set her off.

* * *

"Ain't is not a proper word!" Stephanie yelled at Hank, causing him to shiver in fear. "And I'm not doing the challenge!"

"Yes you are!" Elizabeth yelled.

"No I'm not!" Stephanie yelled back. "You can't make me!"

"You've made everyone else," Elizabeth said. "It seems fair to me that someone make you do it now."

"But this could ruin my future!" Stephanie yelled, getting much more afraid. "Future employers won't hire me if they find nude pictures online!"

"**Now!**" Elizabeth screamed. "**DO IT!**"

"Please, don't," Jennie said, glomping Elizabeth. "She's not worth it."

Elizabeth looked down at Jennie, then smiled and sighed. "Fine. I won't force her to strip down."

"Thank you!" Stephanie exclaimed, looking extremely relieved. "Thank you, thank you, **thank you!**"

"Thank you, Jennie," Elizabeth said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Jennie: I was really worried about Elizabeth. I mean, I know about her current situation with her upcoming trial, and it seemed like a really, really bad idea for Elizabeth to try to force Stephanie to strip down. Definitely would not have looked good for her. Elizabeth's a good girl, though, I swear!

Nicole: (patting Stephanie on the back) Are you OK?  
Stephanie: (crying) I failed. (Stephanie collapsed into Nicole's chest and started sobbing.)

* * *

"All right," Bridgette said, grinning as she stood next to Courtney. "Now, Team Moon has six points, Team Amazon has four points, and you have four points, and Danielle, you have the last challenge. You need this if you don't want to lose again."

"But if I don't do the final challenge, wouldn't we be tied with Team Amazon?" Danielle asked.

"Technically, yes," Bridgette said. "But Izzy decided that since your team has it easier, since you have fewer people, that you will automatically lose in the event of a tie. So if both teams have four points, Team Amazon takes second place, and you take third place."

Danielle was grinning. "Well, this should be easy. Since I'm not afraid of anything. I see Courtney's here to watch as I bravely conquer this challenge for my team!"

"Actually, I'm a little afraid," Courtney said. "Bridgette warned me that you had something to tell me, and that I wouldn't like it."

"What?" Danielle asked, confused.

"You see," Bridgette started, "I racked my brain, knowing that you had to be afraid of something."

"But I'm not afraid of anything," Danielle said. "You know that."

"Actually, I think you are," Bridgette said, with a devious smirk. "You're afraid of being alone."

"Well, I don't like being alone," Danielle said, admiring her nails. "But I can deal with it. So, what, like an hour in the punishment shack? Easy."

"I didn't quite mean that kind of alone," Bridgette said. "You're afraid of losing your friends."

"My friends would never abandon me," Danielle said, unfazed.

"Yay!" Ophelia exclaimed, glomping Danielle. "You think I'll never leave you no matter what… wait, why am I yaying that?" Ophelia let go, looking confused.

Bridgette handed Danielle a note. "In order to get two points for your team, and more importantly, grow as a person, you need to share this with Courtney." Danielle looked at the note, and turned pale, looking scared to death.

"Should… should I sit down?" Courtney asked, looking worried herself.

"Ooh, you can sit on me!" Ophelia exclaimed, as she laid down behind Courtney. "I'm not as comfortable as Bob, but I should do."

"Um… no thank you," Courtney said.

Ophelia sighed. "Fine. I'll find a normal chair."

Danielle looked at the note, and started tearing up, then looked up at Bridgette. "You are a monster!"

"It's for your own good," Bridgette said. "And Courtney deserves to know."

"OK, I'm getting really scared now," Courtney said nervously, as Ophelia arrived with a chair. "Um, where did you get that from?"

Ophelia shrugged. "Just found it."

"OK," Courtney said nervously as she sat down in the chair.

Danielle was crying as she approached Courtney, then glomped her. "I'm sorry Courtney, but Bridgette's a bully, and she's forcing me to do this!"

"Forcing you to do what?" Courtney questioned.

"Please don't be mad at me, I swear, I didn't want to hurt you," Danielle said, still crying. "Well, do you remember when Alyssa spiked my water one night with truth serum, and forced me to confess that I liked Duncan?"

"Is that all this is about?" Courtney asked, smirking. "I understand that wasn't really your fault. I've already forgiven you for that."

"Well, do you remember that day when Gwen confessed her love of Duncan?"

Courtney looked upset. "I wish I could forget that."

Danielle gulped. "I kind of made her do that."

Courtney looked suspiciously at Danielle. "What are you talking about?"

"It wasn't really Gwen's fault. I kind of hid myself from view, spiked Gwen's drink with truth serum, and then asked her about her feelings for Duncan so that you'd focus your anger on her, and not me." Courtney's eye was twitching. "I'm sorry, Court-"

Courtney violently pushed Danielle off of her. "Who are you?" Courtney asked coldly.

"Your best friend, Danielle?" Danielle asked, scared.

Courtney glared at Danielle. "You are **nothing!**" Courtney started to walk away, having some trouble, though. Bridgette looked worried, and helped Courtney walk away.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: (with Courtney sobbing on her shoulder) I'm sorry, Courtney, but I really thought she should be the one to tell you.  
Courtney: You're right. Just…. (Bridgette pat Courtney's back.)

* * *

Danielle stood there, looking blankly at Courtney and Bridgette walking away. Danielle eventually sat down, with her head in her hands, being propped up by her legs, and started crying softly.

Ophelia walked over and sat down by Danielle. "I'm proud of you."

"You did the right thing," George said.

"She hates me," Danielle said softly, now crying in her arms. "Everyone hates me."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (smirking) Breakthrough!

* * *

Ophelia hugged Danielle. "I don't hate you."

"I deserve to be hated," Danielle said, still crying. "I really am a monster."

"Well, kind of," Ophelia said. "But you've got your good points."

"Yes, I'm really hot, I know," Danielle said. "I mean on the inside. I'm as evil and horrible as Katrina."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (nervous) Actually, you might be a little worse than Katrina. Or a lot worse.

* * *

"I like you," Ophelia said. "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't have become your friend. I like you because I saw you for you. A lonely girl who was empty, and needed a friend, and was really stupid in trying to get one."

Danielle sighed. "That's me."

"You really don't need that façade," Ophelia said. "Just let people see the real you. The scared you. The vulnerable you. People might like you!" Ophelia looked over to George. "I think one does right over there."

"George?" Danielle asked. "I'm sorry. You're a good guy."

"And you're a good… um… you're trying," George said, then sat down beside Danielle, who glomped him.

"Thank you," Danielle said, then sighed. "Think Courtney's ever going to forgive me?"

Ophelia tapped her chin. "Not in this decade."

Danielle sighed, then smiled. "I'll really miss her. She really is a good person. And it's my fault she doesn't like me now. No one's fault but mine." Danielle sighed.

Ophelia smiled. "It'll be-"

"**Aaarrrggghhh!**" Katrina screamed, running past the trio, with the puppy looking angry, with its teeth firmly attached to Katrina's butt.

Ophelia rolled her eyes. "Ruin the moment, why don't you?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Candice, if you're watching, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to go. You were really nice to everyone, and I was just being selfish little Danielle. I wish I could bring you back in place of Bob, because he seriously annoys me. (Danielle's expression turns angry.) And to everyone else on my team who's out, screw you! You were jerks!

Bridgette: (rubbing the back of her neck) Well, the first part of that was nice, at least.

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette were standing before Bob and the members of Team Moon and Team Amazon, minus Katrina. "Danielle, George, and Ophelia aren't going to be here for a bit, probably, but we can go on without them," Bridgette said. "Team Himalayas got a cool six points for their team!"

"Six?" Stephanie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Izzy said their team got eight points."

Izzy was grinning mischievously. "Oops, did I lie?" Izzy slapped her own wrist. "Bad Izzy, bad, bad Izzy."

Elizabeth was chuckling. "Shut up!" Stephanie yelled.

"I for one, approve," Quincy said, smirking.

"Urgh!" Stephanie yelled, pulling on her hair.

"Team Amazon got four points," Izzy stated.

"In your faces!" Stephanie shouted, pointing mostly to Elizabeth and Jennie. "You can't eliminate me tonight like you so desperately wanted, so **ha!**" Elizabeth and Jennie rolled their eyes.

"And Team Himalayas, drum roll please, did not lose for a change! They got six points, so Bob, you and the rest are safe for a change of pace! Team Amazon? One of you is leaving tonight."

Mallory smirked. "I think one of us has already left."

"Well, you've got a decision to make," Izzy said. "Make it count!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: Katrina. Easiest decision ever.

* * *

Zack was sitting on the stoop of the last place cabin, as Katrina approached him, crying, with the puppy still clamped onto her butt. "Are you OK?" Zack asked.

Katrina pointed to her butt. "This really, really hurts."

"All right, come on," Zack said, petting the dog. The dog let go, and leapt into Zack's lap. "OK, I think you're good for now."

Katrina smiled bright. "Thank you."

"We lost the challenge," Zack said.

Katrina sighed. "Mallory's gunning for me, I bet."

"I'm already sensing how this is going to go," Zack said. "Mallory's going to want to vote you off, and you're going to want to vote Mallory off."

"Oh, heavens, no!" Katrina exclaimed. "I couldn't do that to poor Mallory! She deserves to stay!"

"Even after the way she's treated you?"

Katrina blushed, and shrunk slightly. "I deserve it. You know I deserve it."

Zack sighed. "I don't know."

"Percy really disgusts me, though," Katrina said. "Seriously, he scares me. Rachel too, and I'd bet Mallory as well."

"What about Xuxa?" Zack asked.

Katrina shrugged. "Honestly, I can't tell with her. I think she gets off easy because of her weight, though."

"That sucks," Zack said, then became flustered. "I mean, it's good that he's not creeping on her, but bad that it's only because she's a little bigger than the rest of you, but… um… wow, I'm bad at this."

Katrina giggled, holding her hands together. "Oh, Zack, it's cute!"

Zack smiled. "Percy."

Katrina nodded. "Everyone's going to be so thankful when he's gone!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Zack: Well, everyone but Alistair, but really? Why do I care about him? He's a bully, pretty much.

* * *

"Hi Zack," Mallory said, smiling as she sat beside Zack. "Think you can do something for me?"

"Um… what?" Zack asked, nervous.

"Well, you know Katrina's outright evil and taking advantage of you," Mallory said, putting her arm around Zack. "I don't want to see Katrina do that to you, so you really need to vote her off tonight?"

"I was thinking about Percy," Zack said.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, he's a pig and he's absolutely disgusting and horrid," Mallory said. "But I'm worried about Katrina hurting you. And, honestly, I'm also worried about Katrina hurting me."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Percy. Duh. Katrina talked me out of voting for Mallory, who I absolutely despise, but honestly, Percy scares me. Mallory does not. It didn't take much convincing on her part.

Alistair: Rachel, you are going down, one peg at a time. Tonight you will be losing your ugly lackey. And then your fat lackey. And the downfall of the evil Rachel empire will be embraced by all! Mwahahaha! (Alistair slaps his face.) OK, that was lame. Leave the maniacal laughter to Todd from now on.

Katrina: Percy, you are a horrible, disgusting little man.

Percy: Well, Katrina. She's not fat, but she's mean to me for no reason! (Percy rips off his shirt… or tries to, but then gets scissors to help.) Seriously, how could she not want some of this? Huh?

Xuxa: I don't like Percy! Seriously, what is wrong with that guy? (Xuxa shows off her body.) How could he ignore the most beautiful girl here?

Mallory: (drumming her fingers on the arm of the chair) The only problem with Katrina leaving us tonight is that she's going to be living the good life at the Playa' des Losers, which is far better than she really deserves. But for me to have peace in the competition here, it will be worth it.

Zack: (sighing with his head held in his hands, looking distraught.)

* * *

The seven members of Team Amazon were sitting in their chairs around the campfire. Izzy was standing behind her podium, while Bridgette was carrying a tray of alphabet blocks. "Well, I haven't seen you in a while," Izzy said. "Well, I've seen you all earlier today, but I haven't seen you here, at the elimination ceremony, for a while, I mean, but of course, you all knew that, I'm sure."

"Just get on with it," Rachel said, looking bored in her seat.

"You're no fun," Izzy said. "Anyway, if you get an alphabet block, you are safe. One of you will not get an alphabet block, and that person will be forcibly ejected from the game, and you can never return." Izzy narrows her eyes. "Ever… until the time is right, maybe." Izzy put back on her smile. "If I call your name, please come to collect your alphabet block."

"Rachel."

"Alistair."

"Mallory."

"Zack."

"Xuxa."

The five safe contestants looked over at Percy and Katrina, nervously sitting in their seats. "Percy and Katrina, Katrina and Percy," Izzy said. "One of you will receive the final alphabet block. The other is leaving us tonight. The person who will receive this final alphabet block, and is safe, is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Katrina."

"You're kidding," Mallory muttered.

Katrina was about to get out of her chair, but was then forcibly ejected high into the sky, and was sent screaming.

"Wait, I'm confused," Mallory said. "Was Katrina safe, or was she eliminated?"

Izzy looked embarrassed. "Oops, sorry, wrong remote." Izzy took out another remote, which sent Percy high into the sky. "That's better. Katrina is safe, and… I should get someone to fish her out and let her know."

"Drat," Mallory said, looking disappointed.

"You five, and Katrina, are safe tonight," Izzy said. "You can return to camp and do whatever." Izzy walked away and toward the Dock of Shame, where she found Bridgette swimming in the lake, getting Katrina out. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

"I'll be OK," Katrina said, as Bridgette got her onto the Dock of Shame. "Just need to collapse here for a moment." Katrina lay down on her back, out of breath.

Bridgette sat on the dock next to Katrina. "If you need anything, let me know."

"Dog repellant?" Katrina asked. Bridgette blinked, confused.

"I'll fill you in later," Izzy said. "But for now, our farewells for this episode. Team Amazon lost, and Percy was voted off."

"Good riddance," Bridgette muttered. "Katrina, I'm glad you get to stay over him. He sickened me."

"But will Katrina be safe next time?" Izzy asked.

"I hope she is," Bridgette said.

"I also kind of hope she is," Katrina said, smiling.

"Find out next time on _Total Drama-"_

"Katrina!" Katrina exclaimed.

Bridgette blinked. "I didn't know anyone still cared about that old running gag."

"Yeah, it was kind of just because we really didn't like Chris," Izzy said. "But I think Izzy will let it slide."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (holding her hands in her lap) Bridgette really is so nice. Izzy… well, she's nice-ish. I am glad Bridgette's there to keep her in check, though.

Danielle: (crying)

* * *

Danielle was still crying as she exited the confessional.

"Danielle?" Bridgette asked, noticing Danielle.

"I'm evil," Danielle said, sniffling. "I really am evil."

Bridgette sighed, then walked over toward Danielle, and gave her a light hug. "You're not evil."

"No, I am," Danielle said. "You're not, though. You're nice. I'm sorry I treated you poorly."

"Thank you," Bridgette said, smiling. "You did the right thing, you know."

"I know," Danielle said, then blew her nose on Bridgette's hoodie.

"That's kind of gross," Bridgette said.

Danielle sighed. "I screwed up again. I always screw up."

"I can wash this," Bridgette said.

"Do you think Courtney's still mad?"

Bridgette looked sad herself. "Yes."

"I guess I deserve that," Danielle said. "She's perfect, and I'm not." Danielle blew her nose on her own shirt. "Just trying not to dirty your shirt more."

"We have tissues," Bridgette said.

"No, you're out, actually," Danielle said. "I went through a lot of them." Danielle tried to smile, looking up to Bridgette. "Do you hate me?"

Bridgette looked guilty. "I didn't like you, but I don't know." Bridgette sighed. "I don't hate you."

Danielle glomped Bridgette, smiling. "Thank you."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I really, really don't know about Danielle. I do know that she tends to be very blunt, though. She's not the best liar. I guess she needs someone to look up to… and I have this feeling I'm going to be that someone.

Danielle: (smiling brightly, though still crying slightly) Bridgette is like the nicest person ever! Well, I mean, not counting Courtney, but since Courtney wants me dead, Bridgette's still pretty cool, even if she is less pretty than… no! Can't do that! That… it matters, but it shouldn't matter. Bridgette is great!

* * *

Todd was sneaking around the camp late at night while carrying a sack, when everyone was asleep, waiting outside the window of the losers' cabin.

"I can't sleep," Rachel whined.

Todd slapped his face, then took out a canister from his sack. Todd opened the window, then sprayed the gas inside. Todd put on a gas mask, then entered the cabin. Shortly after, he came out carrying a sleeping Mallory, and put her in the sack. Todd then snuck toward the confessional, and noticed Katrina behind it, wide awake, playing with her mini-computer. Todd smirked, then whipped out his knockout gas canister again, and sprayed it on Katrina, though it wasn't working effectively.

"What the hell are you doing?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow, chewing on the eraser end of a pencil.

Todd nervously looked at the canister. "Why isn't this working?"

"We're outside, dim bulb," Katrina said.

Todd slapped his own face in frustration again, then whacked Katrina in the head in the canister, knocking her out. Todd then slipped Katrina into his sack.

* * *

**Confessional Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Look, it's nothing personal, though I do intensely dislike Katrina. But someone wants Mallory and Katrina gone, and for lots and lots of money, it's hard for me to pass up such a job. (Todd grows a huge smile on his face.) Plus, it's just plain fun!

* * *

**Votes**

Alistair: Katrina  
Katrina: Percy  
Mallory: Katrina  
Percy: Katrina  
Rachel: Percy  
Xuxa: Percy  
Zack: Percy

Percy: 4  
Zack: 3

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Bob, Danielle, George, Ophelia  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis, Ulysses, Yancy, Percy

* * *

What can I say? Katrina has more story. Percy didn't. Did anyone even like Percy? I mean, I know Ulysses actually had a few fans, so I can never be too sure, but if anyone did like Percy, I was never aware of it.


	20. Day 10, Part 1: Danielle Her Former Self

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 20: Day 10: Part 1: Danielle of Her Former Self**

Katrina's eyes were slowly opening. She couldn't move, though. She was sitting on the ground in a grey room filled with boxes, with here legs and hands tied together, her hands tied to a pole in the room. Mallory seemed to be untying her legs when she came to: her hands weren't bound.

"What's going on?" Katrina asked, confused.

"I don't know," Mallory said, still untying her legs. "I woke up, and my hands were tied together. Not really very well, though. Seemed someone was in a hurry."

Katrina tried untying the ropes around her hands, but couldn't do anything. "I'm having a bit of trouble with that."

"Well, you're not the one who got much practice untying herself, either," Mallory muttered, as she finished untying her legs, then stood up. "But whoever did this didn't even seem to be trying."

"I don't suppose you can help me here," Katrina said, worried. "I'm having some trouble with this."

"Could help you, but won't," Mallory said, sounding hurt. "How do I know this isn't a trap?"

Katrina blinked. "You're serious," she said, dripping with sarcasm.

"I don't know what you're up to," Mallory said. "This trap isn't going to work."

Katrina narrowed her eyes. "I don't know if you noticed, but it's a little late for that. We're already trapped. It already worked."

"You're not going to be able to keep me here," Mallory said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I swear, if my hands weren't tied, I'd have had red marks all over my forehead from facepalming.

* * *

"If you can get out of here, can you send someone to help me?" Katrina asked.

"Doubt it," Mallory said, looking up at a window near the ceiling.

Katrina sighed. "Do you really want to be like we were?"

"You," Mallory said, narrowing her eyes. "Cut the bull crap already. Stop telling people that you were part of the group that was tormenting me, and start telling them the truth. You were the alpha female. You could've stopped everything, but no, you were having too much fun!"

Katrina looked down. "I wish I could change that."

"No you don't!" Mallory yelled. "This is how you get your kicks! Your Mommy abandoned you-"

"**Shut up!**" Katrina screamed, starting to cry.

"Your Daddy despises you, and it's no wonder why."

"**Please! Stop!**" Katrina screamed, crying a lot more.

"My, my," Mallory said, looking vicious. "How the mighty have fallen."

"We're both trapped in here, dumbass!" Katrina yelled, still crying.

"True," Mallory said, picking up a piece of paper she found on one of the boxes. "I have kidnapped you two. Because I'm so evil, and it was totally my idea to kidnap you two, and my idea alone, mwahaha, The Todd." Mallory put the piece of paper down. "Very clever, trying to disguise your handwriting like that."

"It wasn't me," Katrina said, looking down. "Look, you can yell at me all you want, but that's not going to help me or you get out of here."

"Thankfully, I can get out of here on my own," Mallory said, looking at the window near the ceiling. "Just stack these boxes, climb them, and out the window!"

Katrina gulped. "Please tell me you aren't going to just leave me here."

"And forget about that time you left me to rot at the bottom of that well, I think not," Mallory said, with a devious grin on her face.

"That wasn't me," Katrina said.

"No, just one of your flunkies," Mallory said, casually looking at her wrist. "You didn't like getting your hands dirty. Didn't want to bring shame upon the family name, or some crap like that."

"I know, I deserve it," Katrina said. "I don't deserve to die here, though."

Mallory looked like she was about to cry. "Yes, you do."

"Please, Mallory," Katrina said. "I'm sorry."

Mallory started crying. "I can't do it. You do deserve to die, but I can't do it. I'm weak."

"That doesn't make you weak," Katrina said. "I was weak, though, when I was younger. Tormenting someone who couldn't fight back. Willing to save me when I don't deserve it? That's strength."

Mallory smiled slightly. "Thanks. But I still don't trust you." Mallory looked back to the window near the ceiling. "I don't know that this isn't a trap."

Katrina cringed. "Yes, it's a trap, we already established that. We're trapped. As such, yes, this is a trap."

"Not what I meant," Mallory said. "I mean, I don't know that you don't have something out there waiting for me. But I'll come with help, OK?"

Katrina sighed. "I guess I have no choice."

"That's right, you don't," Mallory said. "For the record, this is nothing like the things you've put me through."

"If I knew how to make it up to you, I would," Katrina said, looking down.

"Murdering your first born?" Mallory asked, smirking.

Katrina smiled. "There's the dark-humored Mallory I know!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: That made her an easy target. She had her own really dark sense of humor, so it was easy to target her. A loner with no friends… I really hope she's got some at her current school.

* * *

"Why did we put Todd on this show?" Bridgette asked to Izzy, standing on the Dock of Shame early in the morning, looking irritated.

"I thought he'd be fun," Izzy said. "You know, like a fun fun villain? Everyone loves villains when they watch from home, right?"

"But we have to deal with him!" Bridgette said, upset. "We're not even sure where he took Mallory and Katrina!"

"Somewhere without a working camera, apparently," Izzy said. "It's got to be on the island, though. He couldn't have left the island undetected, unless he dug a tunnel underground, maybe."

"We really need to get rid of him," Bridgette said. "At least with Danielle, I'm not worried that she's going to really hurt someone. And well, even less worried about that now."

"I don't know if we can eject him unless we know he's done something," Izzy said. "Just kidnapping them isn't enough. I really need to start thinking things through better."

"Well, Courtney didn't catch it either," Bridgette said. "You can't plan for everything, but we probably shouldn't have brought him in here in the first place."

"I always thought villains were fun on TV," Izzy said, looking guilty. "I thought he'd stick with stuff like killer lasers."

Bridgette shook her head. "I guess the challenge is off for today?"

"Oh, no," Izzy said. "We still need to do that. You can be in charge of today's challenge, right?"

Bridgette put her hands in her pockets. "Is it going to be simple enough?"

"Oh, yes," Izzy said, taking a sheet of paper out from her skirt. "Thought of a pretty simple challenge we might need, just in case."

Bridgette looked at the sheet of paper. "I guess this'll work."

"Good," Izzy said. "Last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _we had the contestants facing their fears, Team Amazon lost, and they booted off Percy. Then Todd kidnapped Katrina and Mallory, and we're not sure where they are now. And I'm off to hunt them down! See ya'!" Izzy dove into the lake, leaving Bridgette standing on the dock.

Bridgette nervously smiled into the camera. "Well, that stuff happened, as well as Danielle finally admitting the horrible thing she did to Courtney. And Courtney's still pretty mad about that."

"**I hate her!**" Courtney screamed. Bridgette trembled for a moment.

"Is Courtney here?" Ezekiel asked, standing behind the camera.

"No," Bridgette said. "She's doing things on the other side of the island. But maybe she can forgive Danielle-"

"**Never!**" Courtney screamed. Bridgette covered her ears with her hands.

"OK, maybe not," Bridgette said. "But someone's going to win this day, and someone else is going to lose, and someone will be going home. Find out who, coming up now, on _Total Drama Alphabet."_

* * *

Danielle was lying in the lower bunk of her bunk bed, blankly looking out ahead, crying softly. Ophelia was standing in front of her, looking worried, along with George and Bob standing with her.

"She's been like this since last night," Ophelia said. "She doesn't even insult me. No crazy girl, no freak, no third insult I can't think of at the moment."

"She deserves it," Bob said. "She's a meanie poopie head."

"And you wonder why we call you an idiot," Ophelia muttered.

"Be nice, both of you," George said. "Are you OK, Danielle?" Danielle sighed. "I take that as a no."

"Do you want to get breakfast?" Ophelia asked. Danielle just continued looking ahead. "Well, maybe bring something back?"

"Can you bring something back for me, too?" George asked. "I'll have the lobster, with a nice soup du jour, in a nice butter sauce, and-"

"It's Courtney," Ophelia said. "Expect burnt toast and rubber eggs."

George shrugged. "Hey, that works, too."

"Courtney's mean," Bob said.

"Yeah, I don't get it," Ophelia said, rolling her eyes. "Danielle only completely and utterly betrayed Courtney's trust, turning her against a friend, embarrassed Courtney in front of the world and broke up her relationship with Duncan, so yeah, I don't know why Courtney's angry."

"You're starting to sound like Bob," George said.

"You're starting to not understand sarcasm like Bob," Ophelia said.

"Are you making fun of me?" Bob asked.

"Yes," Ophelia said. "I'm sure Danielle would join in if she were on speaking terms with… well, anyone at all." Danielle sniffled, but smiled slightly.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (crying slightly) You know, I don't know how I'll get through today without my best friend! I mean, it's just me, and… Bob. (Ophelia rolls her eyes.) But I can do it! I just need to stay strong! (Ophelia pounds on her chest.) And she can help me do it! (Ophelia holds up a large seashell.) Say hello to Dan… um… Elle. Yes, I shall dub thee Elle! When you grow up, you shall become a world-renowned assassin!

* * *

"Hello, wonderful people!" Ophelia exclaimed as she burst into the dining room, where everyone from the other teams was waiting. "No need for applause, I'm feeling modest today."

"Thank you for sharing," Rachel said, sounding bored, then put something pink and slimy in her mouth.

Ophelia grinned. "You look like you'll make a good friend. Group hug!" Ophelia rushed over and squeezed Xuxa and Rachel together. "We're going to have an awesome breakfast!"

"It's going to be less awesome now," Rachel said, trying to escape Ophelia's grip.

Ophelia pinched Rachel's cheek. "Aww, you're so funny." Ophelia sat down next to Rachel.

"We're saving that seat for Katrina," Rachel said, getting more irritated. "Sit somewhere else."

"I'll get up when she comes," Ophelia said, then sat her seashell on the table. "But for now, me and Elle just want to hang with our new friends!"

"No, no, no, no, **no!**" Rachel shouted, worried. "We are not friends!"

"Well, not yet," Ophelia said. "We just need to spend some time together, and we'll be all over each other!"

"Try Nicole, she's into that," Rachel said, smirking.

"Nicole wants a best friend?" Ophelia asked, then clapped to herself, smiling very big. "Ooh, I need to see her!" Ophelia leapt from her seat, and carried her seashell off with her toward Nicole. "Hey, Nicole!"

Rachel shook her head. "Good riddance."

"Where is Katrina, anyway?" Xuxa asked, worried.

"I'm not her babysitter," Rachel said. "She's allowed to do things without me."

"It's not like her to be so late for breakfast," Xuxa said, picking up some of her pink stuff with her fork, then looked like she wanted to vomit.

"This does not count as breakfast," Rachel said, glaring at a forkful of pink stuff.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Xuxa worries too much. A lot of people worry too much, really. People go off on their own all the time. It doesn't mean anything bad happened to them. It usually just means they want their space, so give it to them.

* * *

"You're hurting my arm." Nicole was looking at Ophelia, somewhat scared, as Ophelia was latched on to Nicole's arm, very tightly.

"It's OK, I don't mind," Ophelia said, smiling bright, as Sadie dropped off a bowl of oatmeal in front of Ophelia. "Ooh, can I get a couple more bowls? I need to bring some back for Danielle and George." Sadie nodded, then headed back to the kitchen.

"You can let go?" Nicole asked.

"OK!" Ophelia exclaimed. "Ooh!" Ophelia put her seashell on the table. "I should probably introduce you to my new friend, Elle."

Nicole raised an eyebrow. "OK, I get it. You named it Elle-"

"Her," Ophelia said, looking irritated. "Elle is a her. Don't call her an 'it.'"

"I'm sorry," Nicole said. "I'm guessing you named her Elle because it sounds like shell?"

"Um, no," Ophelia said. "I named her Elle because I was going to name… I mean, yes! Yes! Because it sounds like shell, yes, of course!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: Yeah, I didn't want to tell her that I named it that because I miss Danielle. I didn't really want Nicole to think I was crazy. (Ophelia shifts her eyes.)

* * *

Stephanie was sitting in a dark corner by herself, looking uneasy, as Sadie put out a plate of pancakes in front of her. "Can I have that to go?" Stephanie asked.

Sadie tapped her chin, then shrugged. "I don't know. I should probably ask Izzy. But I don't want your pancakes getting cold, so I'll get you a box." Sadie smiled bright as she skipped back into the kitchen.

"Someone's embarrassed about her performance in the last challenge," Jennie said, making a goofy face. "I wonder who that could be." Jennie then glared hard at Stephanie.

"She did kind of help us win," Nicole said.

"By doing evil," Todd said. "Committing evil acts with good intentions… I prefer flat-out evil, of course, but I suppose one must start somewhere."

"Why are you even sitting with us?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow. "You know you don't have to sit with your teammates."

"Especially when your only teammate here kind of sucks," Ophelia said.

"I'm sitting here because you don't like it! That's how evil I am!" Todd proclaimed.

"You really don't have much of a résumé," Ophelia said, looking bored, then started waving her hands and making faces. "Ooh, I'm going to eat breakfast sitting near someone who doesn't like me, ooh!" Ophelia rolled her eyes. "I'm more of a villain than that!"

"Oh, don't fret," Todd said. "You won't be laughing when you find out what I did. I'd tell you all, since I do like to brag about my accomplishments, but I would rather people try to figure it out first."

Nicole spread some butter around on a pancake. "Let me guess, you replaced the butter with margarine?"

"Yes I did," Todd said. "But that wasn't what I was talking about. I'm talking hardcore villainy here! Something more akin to… declawing a cat, let's say." Rachel immediately perked her head up, and turned red with rage, squeezing her cup tight, until it crumbled in her hands.

"Uh… are you OK?" Xuxa asked, nervous.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (rubbing his hands together) Mwahahaha! Little do these peons know that I have, indeed, kidnapped those two ugly girls! I don't know why that mystery dude wanted me to do it, or why I was supposed to leave them alone and not stay and gloat or anything, but I like money. I don't question money.

Rachel: (rolling her eyes) Little does Todd know that I'm well aware of his kidnapping of Katrina. (Rachel glares into the camera, making a fist.) Todd **will **pay.

* * *

Rachel was sitting around the campfire area, pacing vigorously, mumbling things to herself.

"Rachel?" Xuxa asked, concerned, walking over toward Rachel.

"Would you stop being stupid?" Rachel snapped, turning toward Xuxa.

"You're angry," Xuxa said. "You really need to stop being mean when you get-"

"I said shut up!" Rachel yelled, visibly shaken.

"OK," Xuxa said. "If you want to talk, just find me, OK?"

"Wait," Rachel said, then tried breathing in deeply. "I'm not angry at you."

"Didn't think so," Xuxa said, grinning.

"Katrina didn't come to breakfast because Todd kidnapped her," Rachel said. "Did he think I wouldn't notice his stupid little pun?"

"Stupid little pun?" Xuxa asked, confused.

"Figures you wouldn't notice," Rachel said. "Todd's done something with Katrina and that awful girl. Or maybe she's in on it. I have trouble getting a read on her."

"You think Mallory's in on it?" Xuxa asked.

"Um, duh, did you really need to ask such a stupid question?" Rachel asked. "Mallory isn't here either. Which means Todd's done something with her, too, or she's the mastermind behind this whole thing."

"Mallory wouldn't do that," Xuxa said. "She's so nice."

"That's obvious from the way she treats Katrina," Rachel said, shaking her head. "Mallory's just jealous to be in the presence of someone so perfect."

"You?" Xuxa asked.

Rachel slapped her own face in frustration, then knocked on Xuxa's head. "No, dummy, Katrina! I'm a bitch. Though oddly, I'm still better than almost everyone else here. Just goes to show what losers they are."

"Even me?" Xuxa asked.

"Of course I'm better than you," Rachel said. "You're still better than almost everyone else in this god-forsaken place, though, so don't worry too much about it."

"You're so nice!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping Rachel.

"I'm not nice, so stop that," Rachel said, trying to free herself from Xuxa's grip. "And let go of me!"

"Sorry," Xuxa said, letting go, but still smiling bright. "So, are we going to go looking for Katrina and Mallory, or what?"

"No," Rachel said. "We don't have the resources to attempt such by ourselves. We will alert Izzy, and she will figure out the proper steps to take from there. Though we should keep our eyes open, just in case."

Xuxa gave a quick nod. "Right!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Rachel's actually the nicest friend I've ever had. I mean, yeah, she's grumpy, and she mocks me, but she tolerates me. I'm not used to that.

Rachel: (sobbing loudly) Katrina, come back!

* * *

Ophelia, Bob, The members of Team Moon, and Team Amazon, minus Katrina and Mallory, were gathered before Bridgette, who was standing on the beach. "Today's challenge will be a simple one: a sandcastle-building challenge!"

"Bridgette?" Rachel asked, raising her hand. "Could I please have a word with you?"

"A little later," Bridgette said, "unless it's about the challenge."

"It's about Katrina," Rachel said, irritated. Bridgette looked a bit shocked. "I'll be right back, guys." Rachel walked off, and Bridgette followed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: I can only imagine the conversation those two were having. (Todd starts speaking in a falsetto.) Oh, Bridgette, Katrina borrowed my favorite brand of makeup, and I look hideous because she ran away because she was so scared of losing! Mwahaha-ack! (Todd starts speaking in his normal voice again.) I mean, mwahahaha!

* * *

"I'm fairly certain that Todd's kidnapped Katrina," Rachel said, talking with Rachel behind the last place cabin.

"And Mallory, we know," Bridgette said, then sighed. "Izzy's working on it."

Rachel blinked, then started massaging her forehead. "Wait, you knew? And you were going to tell us **when?**"

"We really didn't want to create a panic," Bridgette said. "I was debating on the right way to tell people."

"By telling them?" Rachel asked, with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping one of her arms.

"It's not that easy," Bridgette said.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Um, yeah, it is. You just say 'Todd kidnapped Katrina and stupid girl!' Doy!"

"Not everyone enjoys being so tactless," Bridgette said, growing more irritated.

"Less tact, more fact," Rachel said. "Now are you going to go save Katrina, or are you going to continue being a slimy little slut?" Bridgette looked shocked. "What? I see you and Geoff going at it."

"We just… make out sometimes," Bridgette said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"In front of us, yes," Rachel said. "I can only imagine what you do when you think no one's watching." Rachel gave a vicious smirk. "Oh, wait! I don't have to imagine. I know."

"I don't have to talk to you," Bridgette said, then angrily walked off.

"And I don't wish to talk to you either," Rachel said, glaring at Bridgette as she walked away.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (sobbing) Bridgette doesn't care. Katrina's in trouble, and Bridgette doesn't give a damn! **Screw her!**

* * *

Bridgette walked back onto the beach, smiling nervously. "Sorry about that, folks. We're having a sandcastle-building contest. The team who builds the best sandcastle wins!"

Alistair blinked. "That's it? Just… build a sandcastle? That's the whole challenge?"

"Erm… yes," Bridgette said.

"Mwahahaha, this will be fun!" Todd exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. "The other teams will build their sandcastles, and then, I shall kick them down! Mwahahaha!"

Nicole rolled her eyes. "That's really pitiful."

"Yes," Stephanie said, "but we'll keep that plan in mind if it looks like we're in trouble."

"No," Bridgette said. "If you knock down another team's sandcastle, then your team will automatically lose, so unless you want to be voted out, Todd, I'd strongly recommend you play legitimately this time."

Todd grumbled. "Fine! Be that way!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Todd, don't be an idiot, Todd, don't be an idiot, Todd, **don't be an idiot!**

Todd: (rolling his eyes) Thank you, Bridgette, for sucking all the life out of this challenge. And I just know that if we lose because I knock down another team's sandcastle, that they're going to find some way to blame me. There's got to be a way around this….

* * *

Jennie started bowing down before Stephanie. "Oh brilliant one, please tell us idiots how to prepare for this sandcastle, oh brilliant one."

"Ha ha," Stephanie muttered, irritated. "I don't know how to build a sandcastle."

"Wait, really?" Jennie asked, looking shocked. "You mean there's actually something you can't do?"

"Yes," Stephanie said.

"And you're actually admitting it?" Jennie asked, then gasped. "How shocking!"

"OK, can you cut that out?" Stephanie asked, growing more irritated. "I've never been to the beach. And I've never taken a sandcastle building class at any of my schools. Not exactly a useful skill for our futures."

"But you know everything!" Jennie exclaimed, feigning shock. Elizabeth chuckled to herself, though Stephanie just glared.

"OK, I think she gets the point," Nicole said. "I think we can leave her alone, now."

"I don't need you sticking up for me," Stephanie said. "She cannot get to me."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Thank you, Nicole! Thank heavens someone's still on my side.

* * *

"I don't suppose anyone here knows how to build a sandcastle," Stephanie said, still sounding irritated.

Veronica raised her hand. "Actually, I-"

"Thought you'd never ask," Jennie said, wearing a smug grin, pushing Stephanie out of the way, to the sand. "I happen to have won first place at a sandcastle building competition. I'm pretty darn good at this." Stephanie rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (glaring into the camera) Jennie just thinks she's sooo good at everything, doesn't she? Well guess what? Who's the one person here who's kept our team safe from elimination every challenge so far? Me! And don't you forget that!

Veronica: I kind of figured they probably didn't want me to help, anyway.

Hank: Love watching Stephanie and Jennie getting it on like that. They're not the hottest girls here, but beggars can't be choosers, really.

* * *

"Bob can do this!" Bob exclaimed on the beach, clapping his hands. Ophelia looked irritated.

"No, Bob can't do this," Ophelia said. "This is where Ophelia shines!"

"But Bob can do this!" Bob whined.

"Trust me, Ophelia-I know what I'm doing," Ophelia said. "Would I lie to you?"

"You call me stupid," Bob said, looking down.

"Um, you are," Ophelia stated flatly. "Look, I've got an ace up my sleeve." Ophelia reached into her shirt, then took it out, holding nothing. "OK, I thought I had one, but I don't, so much for the pun. Point is, I'm really really really really good at this!"

"But Bob is too!" Bob whined.

Ophelia sighed, then put her hand on Bob's shoulder. "Look, Bob, can I call you Bob?"

"I guess?" Bob asked, confused.

"How about we both make a sandcastle. You can make yours, and I can make mine, and then we can decide which we'll use for Team Himalayas official sandcastle."

"I don't like that," Bob said, frowning. "I want to work together!"

"No, no no no!" Ophelia said, worried. "Look, this way, we both can get the sandcastle we want!"

"But Bob wants to help Ophelia build one sandcastle, together!" Ophelia started pinching her forehead.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: OK, look Bob, I'm sorry, but we're going to win. I'm not going to let you stop me from building my most awesome sandcastle ever!

* * *

Bob was squirming on the beach, hogtied, as Alistair had a small bucket-shaped structure made in the sand. "There," Alistair said. "I did my part, if we lose, it's one of your faults."

"That's nice," Rachel said, sitting in the sand, looking miserable.

"I was thinking, since she's not here and all, we can easily pin the loss on Katrina," Alistair said, wearing a devious grin.

"You do that, and I will kill you," Rachel muttered.

"Well aren't we the comedian today," Alistair said, smirking.

"Comedian tends to do things like that, so yeah," Rachel said, sounding out of it.

"OK, this is boring, you're not even trying today," Alistair said, as he started walking off. "I'll be napping if you need me, so don't need me."

"We never do," Xuxa said, sticking out her tongue. "We need to do this to save Katrina!" Xuxa exclaimed.

"I can't do it," Rachel said. "I just don't feel I have it in me right now."

"Katrina's going to be OK," Xuxa said, sitting down next to Rachel, patting her knee. "I just have this feeling she's going to be OK."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I was pretty scared back there. I didn't know why someone had done this to us, and Mallory. Wasn't. Helping. Still, I needed to be patient. If I were her, I don't know if I would have trusted me, either.

* * *

Mallory was grabbing onto the windowsill for the window near the ceiling, precariously positioned on some boxes. "Almost there."

"You look like you need help," Katrina said, still tied to the pole.

"I'm fine, thanks," Mallory muttered, trying to open the window. She struggled to get it open, and when she did, the boxes beneath her collapsed, leaving her hanging to the sill. "I'm good."

"Can you swing one of your legs up?" Katrina asked.

"I don't need your help," Mallory said, still struggling to get up for a few seconds, then gave that up and sighed. She then tried to swing herself, getting a leg up to the window, but she lost her hold and fell. "Great idea. Really great."

"I'm sorry," Katrina said shyly.

"Maybe there's an air vent somewhere?" Mallory asked, starting to search along the walls. "I can get out from one of those, maybe."

"They're usually kind of small," Katrina said.

"I've squeezed through tight spots before," Mallory said. "You would know."

Katrina sighed. "Yes, but I think it might be a little-"

"Found one!" Mallory exclaimed, then looked at the air vent, and grumbled. "So how do I remove the plate?"

"A screwdriver usually works," Katrina said. "You may have to improvise, but I really don't think the air vent is going to help you get out of here."

"There's got to be a screwdriver someplace," Mallory said, looking inside a box, then smiled bright. "Aha! Found one!"

"Good luck," Katrina said, smiling.

"I know you don't mean that," Mallory said, then excited skipped over to the vent, and put the screwdriver to the screw. And then she screamed.

"Something wrong?" Katrina asked.

"Flat head screwdriver, Phillips head screws," Mallory said. "Won't work."

"Well, there're probably other screwdrivers if there was that one," Katrina said.

"You're only helping because you think I won't really find one," Mallory said.

"I think you'll find one," Katrina said. "I don't think you'll fit through the air vent, but there's probably another screwdriver somewhere."

"Well hooray for optimism," Mallory said, rolling her eyes.


	21. Day 10, Part 2: SandWow

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 21: Day 10: Part 2: SandWow**

"See, I told you this would work!" Mallory exclaimed, as she was unscrewing the cover of the air vent with a Phillips head screwdriver.

"I figured the air vent could be unscrewed," Katrina said, with sarcasm in her voice. "But you're not going to fit through it."

"So I'm fat now," Mallory said, not sounding impressed.

"I've never called you fat," Katrina said.

"About the only thing you haven't called me," Mallory said. "Too busy calling yourself fat."

"Thank you for reminding me of my own weight issues," Katrina muttered.

"Like you've never put me in tears," Mallory said, getting angrier.

"Fair point, you're right, I deserve it," Katrina said, her eye twitching as she tried smiling.

"Anyway, if you're not too fat, maybe you'll be able to squeeze though here," Mallory said, as she removed the cover from the air vent. Then looked shocked as she looked into the air vent. "On second thought, maybe you were right about the air vent being too small." Mallory turned to Katrina, then laughed nervously.

"Really," Katrina said, raising an eyebrow.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (smiling innocently, twiddling her fingers) Told you.

* * *

"Ta-dah!" Bob exclaimed, as he looked proudly upon his sandcastle. "Pretty nice!"

Ophelia looked over at Bob's castle, raising an eyebrow. "All you did was put wet sand in a bucket and turn that bucket over."

"And I came up with that all by myself!" Bob exclaimed, pounding his chest proudly.

"Yeah, it's a good thing we've got me here," Ophelia said, as she laid down a sand "brick" before her. Then another. And another.

"That's not a castle," Bob said. "That's just a bunch of triangles."

"They're bricks," Ophelia said, growing irritated. "You shall see the sandcastle momentarily."

"Mine's better," Bob said.

"If you want to believe that, go ahead," Ophelia said.

Bob started to sniffle, then walked away, looking sad. "It's not fair!" Bob shouted. "I can make a better sandcastle than she can!"

"Oh, I know," Todd said, feigning sincerity, putting his hand on Bob's shoulder. "The way Ophelia so callously decreed her sandcastle to be superior to yours, when she didn't even have anything to show for it. But you!" Todd waved his hand toward Bob's sandcastle. "You have an absolute masterpiece! Ophelia is too blind to see it!"

Bob sniffled. "Yeah."

"She is undeserving of victory," Todd proclaimed, pounding his own chest, then grabbed Bob by the shoulders. "But you, my dear boy, can prove your worth here, when your sandcastle wins the contest for your team! And then she shall be eating crow!"

"I don't like Crows," Bob said. "They're like yucky black Dots."

Todd blinked. "Well, all the better reason for her to eat something that doesn't taste good when you prove your worth and shove your victory in her face."

Bob smiled bright. "Yeah!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Bob is way too easy to manipulate. It's almost not any fun, he makes it so easy. (Todd grins maliciously.) Oh, who am I kidding? It's fun either way!

* * *

"All right, we need some more sand over here," Jennie said, shaping some sand, with help from most of her teammates, though Stephanie was sitting off to the side, watching. Jennie turned to Stephanie, glaring at her. "You aren't going to help at all, are you?"

"I really don't know what to do," Stephanie said, then chuckled nervously, her eye twitching.

Jennie blinked. "You're serious."

"I'm always serious," Stephanie said, growing irritated. "I don't kid."

"And lazy, apparently," Jennie said, sticking out her tongue. "Won't even help build our sandcastle."

"I am not lazy," Stephanie said, glaring at Jennie. "I simply do not know what to do."

"Stop being lazy, that's what!" Jennie yelled, then pointed over to sand. "Now get over there and collect that sand!"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "The team knows I'm not lazy. I don't need to prove that. Unlike you, they all appreciate what I have to offer."

"Not really," Quincy said, shrugging.

Stephanie narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe anyone gave you permission to speak."

"He's kind of right, though," Veronica said. "I wouldn't really mind having an excuse to vote you off. I kind of don't like you very much."

"You are all morons," Stephanie said. "Without me, this team is nothing!"

"You're already nothing for this challenge," Jennie teased, then shook her head. "Tsk, tsk. Can't even build a simple sandcastle."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Say what you want about Stephanie, but she brings results. Voting her out would be very short-sighted of our team. We all saw Team Himalayas get rid of Candice early on, and we saw what happened to that team.

Stephanie: I swear, I am on a team full of idiots! The reason I take control of challenges is because I know what I'm doing, and I simply need everyone else to stay out of my way! If I feel they can help with a task, I will ask that of them. If I feel they will just get in my way, I will go off on my own and win the challenge myself! If I were Jennie and the other idiots, I would be very grateful to have me sit out!

* * *

Rachel was looking miserable, sitting on the beach, taking handfuls of sand from a pile, then dumping the sand back into the pile. "Yeah, I can't do this."

"Well, I can try," Xuxa said, cracking her knuckles. "I'm not great at this, but I'm pretty sure we can at least come in second, since there's no way Bob's castle is going to be better."

Rachel shook her head and put her hand on Xuxa's shoulder. "Honey, we're not competing against Bob's sand castle." Rachel turned Xuxa around, and Xuxa's eyes went wide. "**That **is the sand castle we have to beat."

"Oh," Xuxa said, looking worried.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: (looking in awe) I have no idea how I didn't notice that earlier.

* * *

"And here we are today, with the fabulous Ophelia Lee, in this glamour estate of hers, and today, we will be seeing how she lives, and seeing just what makes her better than you, coming up on _Lifestyles of a Shallow Parody!" _Ophelia announced, then started walking down a twisting staircase made of sand, wearing a red gown, and a large diamond-looking ring on her finger, showing it off to the camera. She then started licking the ring. "Ooh, love these new clear Ring Pops!" Ophelia then took out a chainsaw with Binford written on it, then threw it at the camera.

* * *

"Heh, heh… sorry about that," Ophelia said, looking embarrassed, rubbing the back of her neck, as she was sitting on a sofa made of sand. "I thought that would make a good scene transition." Ophelia picked up a remote control made of sand, and used it to turn on a sand television. Sort of. "You kind of have to use your imagination for a bit, but it's pretty fun to watch!" Ophelia squints her eyes at the sand television. "Oh, I've seen this one before. Nothing good's on. I'll just take a quick nap." Ophelia laid herself down on the sofa, then pulled a sand blanket over her. "I really need to get that electrician over soon."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (holding out her hands as if trying to balance them) Let's see, almost fully-functional livable sand home, bucket-shaped mound… almost fully-functional livable sand home, bucket-shaped mound… gee, tough choice. I just can't decide whether Bob or me has a better sand castle.

Todd: Yes, Ophelia's sand castle may be trouble. Even if I were allowed, that would be a difficult sand castle to kick down. Fortunately, I won't have to. Mwa ha ha. Mwa ha ha ha! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

* * *

"Bum da da dum, dum, bum," Xuxa was humming, as she was building a sand castle. A sand castle about a fourth of her height, though she was detailing a door at the moment. "This should get second place, right?" Xuxa asked, looking back, though only Zack was still around, looking nervous.

"I think so," Zack said.

Xuxa scratched her head. "Everyone left." Xuxa shrugged, then wiped her forehead. "Oh well, I can do this by myself."

"I'm here?" Zack asked.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: I guess it was understandable. I mean, Katrina and Mallory were kidnapped by mean ol' Todd, Rachel was too worried about them to concentrate on the challenge. (Xuxa tapped her chin.) Well, worried about Katrina, at least. And Alistair just didn't care. So that just left me to do this, and up to me to make sure Katrina would be safe!

* * *

Ophelia was in the sand kitchen of her sand castle, playing with some dough with her hands, and singing. "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, then you're crushed to death and the tides all over the planet go completely wacky!" Ophelia tossed the dough high, then started scratching her head. "I need to shorten that. What do you think, Rocky?"

Ophelia looked over to a sand table, to a sand chair where a pile of rocks was sitting. Rocky didn't answer.

"Oh, thanks, but it really is a bit awkward to sing all of that." Ophelia caught the dough as it fell back down. "Mmm, got some sand in this." Ophelia looked nervously to Rocky. "No one's going to see that after it's cooked though, right?" Ophelia shrugged, then laid the dough on a circular pan, and took out some tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, and pepperoni. Ophelia then turned to Rocky again and rolled her eyes. "I like pepperoni. And it looks really pretty on a pizza, OK? I care about the aesthetics since I know it's going to taste awful, anyway." Ophelia slapped her face. "I swear, you're as dumb as a rock. Look, just try it first, OK? It might surprise you. Especially since, you know, you don't have taste buds, or a sense of taste or smell, period. Keep that in mind before you insist that you'll hate it." Ophelia stared at Rocky, then sighed. "Yes, yes, I know. And I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me." Ophelia rolled her eyes. "Yes, even Danielle, I won't tell her either. Really."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (shaking her head) Rocky has no manners at all, I swear!

* * *

"Looking pretty nice," Jennie said, carving out a window in a tower. "I think we can nab second place with this." Jennie glanced over to Stephanie, then sighed. "Aren't you going to say something like coming in second place is for losers, or something?"

"Not really," Stephanie said. "You're doing fine, and realistically, there's no way we can compete with that, anyway." Stephanie pointed to Ophelia's sand castle.

"She's a cheater," Jennie said.

"I'm not really sure how that's cheating," Stephanie said. "It's a sand castle, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but it's going against the spirit of the contest."

"Sort of like how I won that scare the interns challenge," Stephanie said, admiring her hand. "Not cheating, just taking advantage of the rules, and we won because of it. Besides, if we get second place, we'll still be safe."

"I'd still like your help with this," Jennie said, molding the top of one of the towers. "Team effort, and all."

Stephanie sighed. "I just want you to promise that you won't vote for me if we lose because I accidentally destroyed this. I know my talents, and this is not one of them."

"You'll help us get into second place," Jennie said. "This isn't that hard, really."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: I could've sworn I heard an explosion. I don't think that can happen with sand castles, though… can it? (Rachel shrugs.)

* * *

"**Katrina!**" Rachel yelled out, cupping her hand into a makeshift megaphone as she walked through the forest, nervously looking around. "**Katrina!**" Rachel clutched her head, and immediately walked over to a large rock to sit down, breathing hard.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Why would someone even want to kidnap Mallory and Katrina? Well, I mean, Mallory, sure, I mean, eww, seriously, but Katrina? What did she ever do to deserve this? Why would anyone have anything against her? (Rachel puts her face in her hands and sobs.)

* * *

Mallory was still trapped in the room, fruitlessly attempting to leap up to reach the window while standing on a box. Katrina was still tied up, sitting on the ground. "I really don't think you're going to make it," Katrina said.

"Yes. I. Will," Mallory said, sounding like she was running out of breath. After a few more seconds, she collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily.

"I don't want to be here either," Katrina said. "If you untie me, I'll help you out, OK?"

Mallory was still breathing heavily as she stood up, leaning against the wall. "Why would you help me? You hate me!"

Katrina looked sincerely to Mallory. "I don't hate you anymore, but even if I did, I don't exactly enjoy being trapped here, either. We need to work together to get out of here."

"So you can escape and abandon me in here, I'm sure," Mallory said, rolling her eyes. "I know you."

"I will help you out," Katrina said. "I'll help you get to the window, and then you can get help from there."

"And what if I don't want to do that?" Mallory asked. "What if I feel like leaving you in here to rot?"

"I'm trusting you," Katrina said, looking worried. "I'm trusting that you're a better person than I. This is win-win for you. You've got nothing to lose. I'm putting my freedom on the line, hoping that you have it in your heart to forgive me."

Mallory narrowed her eyes. "You're up to something. But you're also right. I have no other idea how I'm going to get out of here."

"So you'll untie me?" Katrina asked, a bit hopeful.

Mallory shuddered. "Yes." Mallory walked over to Katrina, untying her, a bit slowly, but surely. "And yes, I know you're thinking it, and yes, a one-armed freak can do this."

"I wasn't doubting it," Katrina said, smiling. After a couple of minutes, Katrina's binds were released. "Thank you!" Katrina exclaimed, about to hug Mallory, but stopped herself. "Oh, yeah, probably wouldn't like that." Katrina rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"Correct," Mallory said, irritated. "And now you will help me out through the window, right?"

"Oh, yes!" Katrina exclaimed, clapping.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I can't tell you how worried I was that Mallory was going to leave me behind. (Katrina starts caressing her arm.) I'd have deserved it, really. It's not like I haven't done something like that to her. (Katrina smiles nervously.)

* * *

"Coming!" Ophelia exclaimed, as she heard someone knocking on her sand front door. She opened the door. "Yay, villain! Except you know you're not allowed to kick this place down, ooh, too bad." Ophelia faked a frown.

"Quite all right, I assure you," Todd said, looking confident. "I was merely curious about my competition. It is imperative that my team not come in last place and all, since I'm probably a prime target for elimination."

"That's a safe bet," Ophelia said. "Well, come on in! Rocky is terrible company, and Mr. Turnip never showed up like he said he would" Ophelia crossed her arms over her chest. "Hmph! I swear, he had better have a **very **good reason for standing me up, or else!"

"Is this a sand castle?" Todd asked, somewhat confused. "How is this even supporting its own weight?"

"How do you somehow create evil devices out of nothing?" Ophelia asked, smirking. "You have your secrets, I have mine."

"Fair enough," Todd asked, still looking completely baffled.

"Ooh, ooh!" Ophelia exclaimed. "I made some pizza! Maybe you'd like some?"

"Pizza?" Todd asked. "But, how-"

"Don't worry about the mechanics of it all, just enjoy!" Ophelia exclaimed, shoving a slice of pizza from behind her back into Todd's mouth. Todd's face turned green. "Pretty good for having no real idea what I was doing, huh?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (pouting) I swear, Todd is so rude! What kind of person vomits all over your clean floor? He could have at least made it to the sand toilet!

Todd: How in the hell can she create supposedly delicious plastic cubes, yet can't even make a decent pizza? I swear, she must have used sand instead of flour! But on the other hand, Ophelia is dangerous here. There isn't a doubt in my mind that her sand castle will not come in first place, and I cannot allow that. Fortunately, I know how to make sure that doesn't happen! Mwahahahaha!

* * *

"**Katrina!**" Rachel screamed toward the sky, still sitting on her rock. "**Katrina, where are you?**"

"Rachel?" Mallory shouted, running toward Rachel, from a distance away. "Rachel!"

"You," Rachel said darkly, as Mallory approached. "Where is Katrina?"

"She's trapped in a small room," Mallory said. "I promised that I'd get her out. I thought about leaving her there, but for some reason, I felt guilty about that."

"I don't really need to hear that part," Rachel said. "But where is she?"

"Unless one of us is very athletic, we're going to need help getting her out," Mallory said. "The only way out is through a window, and it's difficult to reach."

"Well, Izzy's away, trying to find you two," Rachel said. "We'll need to find someone else… oh, God!"

"What's wrong?" Mallory asked.

"I know who I'm going to need to ask, and I absolutely, truly dread it," Rachel said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (admiring her hand) It's nice to know that **some **people realize what an asset it is having me around.

* * *

"No, no, no!" Jennie yelled, throwing down a clipboard, as Stephanie just caused Team Moon's sandcastle to collapse. "What did you do?"

"I thought I was carving out a drawbridge like you asked!" Stephanie shouted back.

"But that sand was instrumental in supporting the whole castle! Now I'm going to have to start all over again! Thank you!"

"Hey, I told you I had no idea what I was doing! You all insisted I help out!"

"I didn't," Nicole stated.

"You don't count," Stephanie said. "I meant the imbecilic members of our team."

"Stephanie!" Rachel exclaimed, rushing up to her. "Stephanie, my favorite perfect rival!"

Jennie rolled her eyes. "Oh, give me a break!"

Stephanie grinned. "It is nice of you to notice."

"That's nice, look, we need your help to save Katrina," Rachel said. "We need someone who can get out from a window about eight or so feet high with only a small box to use for assistance. Can we count on you?"

Stephanie smirked. "This I can do. Show me the way!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: I don't know Katrina very well, but she seems fairly competent. I mean, I am better, naturally, but I do not wish to see Katrina taken out of the game because Todd cheated. I want to be the one to ultimately cause her downfall.

* * *

"Drat," Todd said, snapping his fingers. "Thanks to Stephanie, Team Moon will surely lose if I don't cheat."

"Why are you telling Bob this?" Bob asked.

Todd pat Bob on the back. "Oh, my dead Bob… I apologize for my ranting and rambling. But sadly, we shall actually ensure ourselves second place. For you see, I took a closer look at Ophelia's sand castle, and it is a dud. You will surely lose, since the rest of your team seems to hate you, or something."

"Bob doesn't want to lose!" Bob shouted, putting his hands over his ears.

"But you don't have to lose!" Todd exclaimed, throwing his arms outward. "For you see, if you knock down Ophelia's sand castle, then you can enter your sand castle in the contest!"

"Won't Bob automatlauncat… something, won't we lose?" Bob asked.

"Oh, no no no!" Todd exclaimed. "For you see, the rules simply prohibit a person from knocking down another team's sand castle. There was no rule that stated that you could not knock down your own team's sand castle. Then, with Ophelia's sand castle out of the way, Izzy will have no choice but to use your obviously superior sand castle for the contest!"

Bob sniffled, then wiped his nose, then wiped his hand on Todd's shirt, who looked grossed out. "But that's kind of mean."

"Ah, it is, but she started this war," Todd proclaimed. "Ophelia refused to let you help with her sand castle, which I would say was pretty mean of her, yes?"

Bob scratched his head. "Yes?"

"So this is mere karma," Todd stated. "She was mean to you first, so she deserves a little bit of mean back."

Bob clenched his fist. "You're right! She's really mean! Like, really, really, **really **mean!" Bob ran over to Ophelia's sand castle, and started pounding his fists on the wall.

Todd shook his head as he walked over to Bob, and put his hand on Bob's shoulder. "That won't work. The construction is strong." Todd grew a devious grin as he took out some dynamite and a detonator. "Use this."

Bob blinked. "What is that?"

Todd smiled. "Your key to victory."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: I will miss Bob when he likely gets voted off tonight. It's not often one gets to mold someone so unbelievably stupid!

* * *

"Are you sure this is the way?" Rachel whined, as she was hurrying after Mallory through the forest.

"Positive," Mallory said, running forth."

"And why is she is us?" Rachel complained, motioning toward Nicole, who was with them.

"Just in case you guys need help, and stuff," Nicole said, smiling nervously.

"Don't get in my way, and we'll be fine," Stephanie said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (rolling her eyes) Like I don't know why Nicole decided to tag along.

Nicole: I was worried about Katrina. (Nicole sighs.) I know she doesn't think of me that way, and I'm OK with it. I am tired of people assuming I don't know how to control myself, though.

* * *

Inside Ophelia's sand castle, after about ten seconds, a 'ding' sounded, and an elevator opened up, with Ophelia stepping out. Ophelia looked back at the elevator as the doors closed. "I really need to speed that thing up. I'm not going to win first place if it takes half a minute to get between floors." Ophelia shrugged, then walked back to the sand table where Rocky was sitting. "Now, are you going to admit that you took my slice of cake out of the fridge? 'Cause I know it was you." Ophelia whips out a sand video camera. "I caught you red handed! And I can't tell you how disappointed I am! I was really looking forward to it!" Ophelia crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from Rocky. She then snuck a peek at Rocky, then glomped it. "Aww, you know I can't stay mad at you!" Ophelia gave Rocky a kiss, then blushed. "You're cute." Ophelia poked Rocky's nose. "Oh yes you are, oh yes you are, oh-"

A huge explosion sounded, and Ophelia tripped. "What was that?" Ophelia shouted, as the whole place started collapsing upon itself.

"And time's up!" Bridgette exclaimed, then immediately sounded worried. "Is anyone hurt? What just happened?"

Ophelia poked her head out of pile of sand now on the ground. "Yes, what happened?"

Bob rushed to Ophelia, looking proud of himself, poking his finger in Ophelia's nostril. "Take that!"

"Ew, ew, ew, get that away!" Ophelia complained, slapping Bob's hand out of her nose. "Probably cleaner now, but still, ew!"

"Um… what happened?" Bridgette asked, and blinked, confused.

"Ophe… Ophe… Offy's a big meany head, and she wouldn't let me build a sand castle! But I'm the best sand castle builder ever!"

"So you knocked down my sand castle?" Ophelia shouted, looking enraged.

"So now, I suppose your team will have to be judged on Bob's sand castle," Todd said. "It's a pity."

Bob glomped Todd. "Thanks to you and me, our team won't lose!"

"Um, sure," Todd said, smiling nervously.

Ophelia had steam coming out of her ears. "Which of you two should I strangle **first?**"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (rubbing his hands together) Perfect. Just too perfect. Mwahahahaha!

* * *

Ophelia was on Bob's belly, strangling him, and he was gasping for air. Bridgette sighed, as she returned to the beach area, where most of the other contestants were waiting. "Todd's right. Bob was perfectly within his rights to knock down his own team's sand castle, and it appears I have to judge based on what you have now, and not what you had before.

"I think I did pretty well," Xuxa said, smiling bright, standing next to a fairly nice sand castle, nicely decorated and carved.

"Yes, you did," Bridgette said, smiling. "But we'll have to see how the other teams did, too." Bridgette walked over to Team Moon's sand castle. "Not bad, but not great, either. Team Amazon, you are guaranteed not to be sending anyone home tonight."

"You just want me out, don't you?" Jennie shouted, glaring at Bridgette. "Don't want to have a real environmentalist around to make you look bad! Should've known you wouldn't be fair about this!"

"No, your sand castle is just a lot less interesting," Bridgette said.

"It's Stephanie's fault!" Jennie shouted. "She knocked down our first one!"

"Xuxa's was better," Bridgette said, then walked over to Bob's sand castle, a mere upside-down bucket-shaped sand lump. "Is this it?"

Ophelia let Bob go and sighed. "Yes. Bob knocked down my awesome sauce sand castle, so yes, Bob's pile of suck is all that's left."

"It doesn't suck," Bob said, sniffling, then immediately smiled bright. "It's awesome!"

"Actually, no, not really," Bridgette said. "It's kind of bad, really. I'm afraid Team Himalayas has lost again."

"That's not fair!" Ophelia shouted. "I worked so hard!"

"I know it's not fair," Bridgette said, then glared at Bob. "Bob, you should be ashamed."

Bob fell to the ground, and started pounding his fists. "Why? **Why?**"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bob: Offy's a poopy head! Everyone's going to want to vote off someone that mean!

Ophelia: I care about my friends, and I would never abandon them! And Bob is not a friend. Nope, nope, nope. I'd never abandon my real friends, though!

Elle the seashell and Rocky the rock pile: (sit in the chair and look like they're crying. After a few seconds, a tear dropper falls from the ceiling, and a couple seconds later, Ophelia herself falls.)  
Ophelia: (after getting up) You can cut that part out.

* * *

"Why do they even have that window?" Rachel said, looking at the side of a cave wall, but with an inexplicable window high up. "I mean, it'd be more hidden without the window there." Rachel shrugged, then turned to Stephanie. "Do you need help get-"

"No, I do not," Stephanie said, clutching onto the cave side and climbed up toward the window.

"Were you bitten by a radioactive spider, by any chance?" Rachel asked, smirking.

"You're a closet geek?" Mallory said, smirking.

Rachel stomped her foot. "No I am not! Everyone knows who Spider-Man is!"

"I'm kidding," Mallory said, smiling.

"Is someone out there?" Katrina asked through the wall, hopeful.

"**Katrina!**" Rachel exclaimed. "We're getting you out!"

"Thank you!" Katrina exclaimed.

Inside the room, Stephanie leapt down from the window, then lowered her hands as if they were a step toward the window. "Need a boost?"

"Yes, please," Katrina said, nodding her head. Stephanie lifted Katrina toward the window, who carefully climbed out, onto the other side. "Can you get out, though?"

"No problem!" Stephanie called out, then stacked a few unstable boxes on each other as a makeshift staircase. Stephanie glared at her staircase leading toward the window, then rushed up, with the boxes collapsing beneath her, though she had enough momentum to make it to each higher box, and ultimately, the window, where she leapt to the ground, touching down her hand. "Made it."

"Thank you!" Katrina exclaimed, glomping Stephanie.

Stephanie glared up at Katrina. "Please don't touch-"

"Thank you!" Rachel exclaimed, glomping Stephanie as well.

Stephanie sighed. "Fine. I'm thanked. Can you let go now?"

Rachel and Katrina let go, and Katrina giggled nervously. "I'm sorry. I'm just grateful."

Rachel glomped Katrina. "I'm glad you're OK, too. I can't tell you how worried I was."

Nicole put her hand on Katrina's shoulder. "Me too. I'm glad you're all right."

"I was more worried, though!" Rachel shouted nervously.

Nicole rolled her eyes. "Maybe you were, I don't really know. It's not a contest."

"Um, yah, it is," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "The winner gets a million dollars, remember?"

"I didn't mean that," Nicole said, irritated.

"Can we not fight?" Katrina asked. "I'm just happy to see you all, and be out of there." Katrina cautiously walked over to Mallory, who looked unsure. "And thank you, too. I would do anything to change what I did in the past."

Mallory smiled. "You can hug-"

"Thank you!" Katrina exclaimed, glomping Mallory tight, who smiled slightly. "I promise, I will do anything I can to make it up to you!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: (nervously rubbing the back of her neck) Look, I know how horrible and downright evil Katrina was when I knew her, and I was so sure she would be that way for the rest of her life, but I don't know. Seeing her like she was in that room, with someone else deciding to treat her like that, the way I've been treated by her… I think she understood. And I think she's sincere. She really does want to make it up to me. It feels really funny, actually, being friend-ish with Katrina, but it's also kind of nice to be able to release my anger.

* * *

"Katrina!" Xuxa exclaimed, glomping the rich girl as she walked toward the beach. "You're OK!"

"Not so worried that you abandoned the challenge to save me, I see?" Katrina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Eep!" Xuxa squealed. "I'm sorry! I just thought someone had to do this, since I didn't want us to lose, and Alistair said you'd be leaving, and I don't know." Xuxa looked guilty as she twiddled her fingers.

Katrina smiled bright. "It's OK, I know. How did we do, anyway?"

"First place!" Xuxa exclaimed. "Tonight we sleep in luxury!"

"Thank you!" Katrina exclaimed. "I can use a bit of luxury after that ordeal."

Nearby, Todd was watching, and gnashing his teeth and clenching his fist.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: I was worried about that window, but I had to give them a sporting chance to escape, right? And besides, whoever wanted me to kidnap them specifically asked for that window, anyway, so I was just following orders, but still, it sucks that they actually did get out.

* * *

George was sitting next to Danielle, lying in her bunk bed, looking dead-ish, straight at the bunk above her, as Bob stormed in, startling the two.

"George, George, George!" Bob shouted, jumping up in down. "Oftenia made us lose the challenge!"

"She did?" George asked.

"Yeah," Bob said. "She was really mean and said that Bob couldn't build a good sand castle, and because of her, we lost! We need to vote her out!"

"Um, OK?" George asked, confused.

Ophelia entered the room shortly after, angry. "Bob has to go."

"Why?" George asked. "Bob said you made our team lose the challenge."

Ophelia's jaw dropped. "Bob is a liar! I built an enormous sand castle that I could have lived inside, and Bob blew it up!"

"Bob?" George asked.

"**Bob didn't blow up Offy's sand castle and didn't get help from Todd and Bob didn't do it to get revenge on Offy being mean to him!**" Bob screamed, looking scared.

"O… K…" George said. "Pretty sure I know what happened."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (holding a plush Bob doll) Bob is **dead!** (Ophelia starts ripping the Bob doll to pieces, then throws the pieces into the air like confetti, and laughs maniacally.)

Bob: (crying) I hate mean O girl! She's a bully!

* * *

Izzy was leaning on the podium at the campfire site that night with one hand, while tapping her fingers on her podium with the other, as the four members of Team Himalayas were seated in their chairs. "You lost again."

"Gee, I wonder whose fault that was," Ophelia said, looking thoughtful, then gave a death glare to Bob.

"You wouldn't let Bob help!" Bob whined.

"I didn't want your help, and I didn't need your help," Ophelia said, exasperated. "We had it won. We had it **won!**"

"Well, whatever the reason, you know the drill," Izzy said. The one of you who does not get an alphabet block will be ejected from the island at once. And that will start once Bridgette gets her butt over here."

"Bridgette's not here?" George asked.

"Wouldn't you have noticed if she was here?" Izzy asked. "I thought you had super hearing, and super smell, and all."

"I just thought she was being quiet," George said. "And my sense of smell isn't as extreme as you think it is."

"Fair enough," Izzy said, shrugging, then taking out a paddleball, and whacking it a few times. Then yawned, and put it away. "Actually, I'm tired of waiting. If I call your name, come up and I will hand you an invisible alphabet block. If you receive an invisible alphabet block, you are safe."

"George," Izzy called out. George got up to stand next to Izzy, and held out his hand. Izzy placed the invisible block in his hand, though George waited there patiently still. "You can go."

"I'm still waiting for my block, I thought?" George asked, confused.

"When I said invisible block, I meant make-believe," Izzy said. "There's no block."

"OK," George said, confused, then walked over to the side.

"Danielle," Izzy called out. Danielle smiled slightly, then walked over to Izzy, holding out her hands. Izzy placed a pretend alphabet block in her hands. Danielle then walked over to George.

Ophelia was obviously worried, biting on her fingernails. Bob looked like Bob, and one couldn't be sure if he even understood what was going on. "Bob. Ophelia," Izzy said, looking to the two remaining contestants. "One of you is safe. The other of you is not. The one of you who is not safe will be immediately ejected from the island, thrown into the lake. And the last alphabet block goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Ophelia." Ophelia smiled bright and clapped to herself, as Izzy whipped out her remote and pushed the button, which wasn't working, even as Izzy kept pounding on it, then threw it to the ground and stomped on it, then started jumping on it. Izzy eventually gave up and sighed. "Bob, just leave. Boat's coming in shortly."

"Why?" Bob asked.

"Because you lost, and I can't seem to violently hurdle you into the lake today."

"Why?" Bob asked.

"Because three out of four people voted to get you out," Izzy said.

"Why?" Bob repeated.

Izzy slapped her face, pulling down on it. "Because you destroyed Ophelia's sandcastle, probably."

"Why?" Bob asked once more.

"Because you're an idiot, that's why" Izzy said. "Bob, do you mind moving to the seat next to you?"

"Why?" Bob asked.

"Just do it," Izzy muttered. Bob looked confused, but walked over to where Ophelia was sitting a seeming eternity ago. Izzy cracked her knuckles, took out a different remote, and pressed the button, flinging Bob high into the air, screaming. Izzy wiped off her forehead. "Thank goodness that's done." Izzy turned to George, Danielle, and Ophelia. "You three are safe for tonight. You three are also only three, so you really need to get your acts together if you want to win."

"Without Bob, that should be easier," Ophelia said.

"I kind of hate to agree, but yeah," George added.

"We three can do this!" Ophelia exclaimed. "We'll be the lovable underdogs everyone wants to win, so let's do this!" The three put their hands together, then raised them apart.

* * *

**Votes**

Bob: Ophelia  
Danielle: Bob  
George: Bob  
Ophelia: Bob

Bob: 3  
Ophelia: 1

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Danielle, George, Ophelia  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis, Ulysses, Yancy, Percy, Bob

* * *

And our time with Bob is through, I'm afraid. He was just pretty friendly-well, usually friendly, and useless, but now that he's become worse-than-useless when his team desperately needs to win, just not good for him to stay.


	22. Day 11, Part 1: Switcheroo

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 22: Day 11: Part 1: Switcheroo**

Ms. Levac was sitting in her chair, pressing her metal gloved hands together, as someone knocked on the door to her huge office. "Come in," Ms. Levac said, using her deep, echoing voice, then she turned her chair away from her desk, not allowing the person entering to see her face.

Chris casually walked up to Ms. Levac's desk, and leaned against it. "Ah, Penny, just the-"

"Do **not **address me in such manner!" Ms. Levac screamed, still using her deep, booming, echoing voice. "That's Ms. Levac to you!"

Chris fell down, then gulped. "Of, of course, Ms. Levac," Chris said. "It's just that I've got, for you, just what this show needs!"

"I am not rehiring you," Ms. Levac stated.

"I understand that," Chris said. "But I have found the perfect contestant for this show!"

"We have enough contestants," Ms. Levac said. "We have no need for another."

"Ah, but that's where you're mistaken!" Chris exclaimed. "The perfect villain for our show!"

"**My **show!" yelled Ms. Levac, still speaking in her deep echo-y voice. "And we already have the perfect villain."

Chris waved his hand dismissively toward Ms. Levac's back. "Todd's funny, I mean, but he's kind of lame for a truly dramatic villain."

Ms. Levac pounded her fist on the armrest of her chair. "Fool! I'm not talking about that idiot!" Ms. Levac pulled out a picture of someone completely obscured by a dark red cloak. "I'm talking about this person!"

Chris smirked. "You caught me! That's me all right, stirring up drama for you, just like-"

"**I know who that person is, idiot!**" Ms. Levac screamed, powerfully enough that bits from the ceiling started crumbling down to the floor, making Chris shiver. "I've watched over the footage, and I could not help but notice one person headed for a spot where a camera was conveniently not working, and enter the view of another camera in that disguise. It was not terribly difficult to figure out that person's identity."

"So," Chris said, twiddling his fingers, while his eyes wandered around the office, "who is it?"

"That is not your concern," Ms. Levac stated.

"So, how many people has this so-called villain beat up, anyway?" Chris asked.

"This person is not-"

"Oh, come on, can't you at least say 'he' or 'she'?" Chris whined. "It's like you're trying to be as obtuse as possible!"

"Because I am," Ms. Levac said, growing irritated.

"You need someone more into physical violence," Chris said. "Someone who's willing to permanently disfigure other contestants."

"Ah, so you mean someone like Katrina, apparently," Ms. Levac said.

"What, no!" Chris shouted. "Not that stupid goody-goody!"

"So you are out of the loop, I see," Ms. Levac said. "Just how I like it."

"Um, what are you talking about?" Chris asked.

"I do believe I stated how I enjoy you being out of the loop," Ms. Levac said.

"Of course," Chris said. "But could you at least meet this prospective contestant? She may change your mind!"

"So, I will get to meet this horrible bully in person," Ms. Levac said, rolling her eyes as she spun her chair around to face Chris. "How wonderful."

"All right!" Chris called out to the hallway. "Come on in!"

* * *

"Urgh!" Heather groaned, watching a video tape on a TV in Izzy's trailer. "There is nothing here!"

"Which tapes have you checked?" Gwen asked, looking concerned.

"I've checked every tape that could possibly show who that disguised person is, and nothing," Heather said. "There was one tape missing, which is where the person had to have put on that disguise, and ugh, I just don't know what to do!"

"Is it possible to sync the tapes up and watch them together?" Gwen asked. "Maybe we could put the pieces together."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, thank you for stating the obvious."

"The obvious that you didn't figure out yourself," Gwen teased, with an innocent smile on her face.

Heather narrowed her eyes. "I'm remembering why I used to not like you."

* * *

Danielle was staring straight at the ceiling that night, lying in her sleeping bag on the floor, somewhat catatonic.

"Boo!" Ophelia shouted, leaping in front of her, putting her own face about a foot from Danielle's. Danielle didn't react. Ophelia started making weird faces at Danielle, shifting her face around with her hands, but still without reaction.

"Still nothing?" George asked.

"She's holding it all in, I just know it," Ophelia said, tapping her chin. Ophelia then took out an amulet. "This will bring good fortune." Ophelia put the amulet around Danielle's neck. Then she took out another amulet and put it around her own neck. "And now I shall also have good fortune! Your fortune!" Ophelia raised her hands up and down and had a deranged look on her face. "Mwahahahaha!"

"Is Todd in here?" George asked. "Could've sworn I heard him laughing."

"Nope, just me!" Ophelia exclaimed. "For now, at least. But these are magical amulets, you see. When we both fall asleep, these amulets will switch our bodies, so that I am in Danielle's body, and Danielle is in mine!"

"Um, OK," George said.

Ophelia starting mushing around Danielle's face. "Aww, I'm just trying to cheer her up!" Ophelia sighed. "Look, Danielle, you're not an evil person. You just do evil things."

"Uh, how-"

"-is that supposed to cheer Danielle up, excellent question!" Ophelia announced. "Look, Danielle, you're not a bad person or a good person. You're like our own little Oehda, except for not being unanimously beloved by the viewers."

"What's an oehda?" George asked. "And how do you know whether the viewers will like Danielle or not?"

"Because I don't believe in acknowledging the fourth wall, but you're missing my point," Ophelia said, then turned to Danielle and hugged her. "You aren't perfect. Just accept that. You don't have to be perfect. You… eww, I'm sounding all after school special-y."

"What's an after school special?" George asked.

"Some sappy, heavy-handed moral melodrama that would air after school back before we were born."

"Um… if these were before we were born, how do you even know about them?" George asked.

"What?" Ophelia asked. "We all know about the U.S. Civil War, and that was more than a century ago!"

"It's funny how it almost feels like we learn more about American history than Canadian history," George said.

"It's also funny when I draw faces on balloons!" Ophelia exclaimed, then started tapping her chin. She looked down at Danielle, who still looked miserable, and pat her arm. "How about you and I go somewhere more private, and we'll see if I can, ahem, change your mind! Mwahahahahahahahaha!" Danielle rolled her eyes.

"Little bit overboard there?" George asked.

Danielle sighed. "I'll go, I'll go."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: There's got to be a way to get Ophelia out of this funk she's in. She just needs to find a useful purpose, something she can do that others can appreciate. (Ophelia grows a huge grin on her face.) But until then, I know just what she needs for the short term! (Ophelia starts rubbing her hands together, and grows a menacing smile.) Mwahahahaha! **Mwa**hahahahaha! **MWA**hahahahahaha, **ha!** Suck on that, Todd!

* * *

"Are you OK?" Hank asked, sounding concerned as he and the rest of Team Amazon and Team Moon were surrounding Katrina, Mallory, and Rachel.

"Yes, I'm good," Katrina said, smiling bright, tugging shyly on her skirt. "Still not going out with you, though."

Hank feigned shock. "I had no such thought!"

Nicole rolled her eyes. "Yes, you did."

"Like you don't also want to bang her," Rachel said, glaring at Nicole.

Nicole blushed. "No, I don't! I mean, not right away, um, argh!"

"Cut it out, Rachel," Katrina said, shaking her head.

"I'm glad you two are safe," Zack said, smiling. "It'd be nice if you two could be best friends, now."

"Not going to happen," Mallory said.

"We've settled for casual acquaintances," Katrina said. "I'm just happy she no longer wants me dead."

"Which is quite more than Mallory deserves," Rachel said, glaring harshly at Mallory.

"Let's not start, please," Katrina said, smiling uneasy.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Ugh, that kidnapping went completely wrong! That could not have gone more wrong! Not only did Mallory and Katrina escape, but now they're not even at each others' throats anymore, and everyone's fawning over them! (Todd takes out a large wad of money.) But I still got paid, so not my problem.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want any money?" Katrina asked to Mallory, in the lobby of the luxury cabin, with Xuxa and Rachel standing nearby.

"I'm fine," Mallory said. "All that's going to do is make you feel less guilty, and frankly, you should feel guilty."

Katrina nodded. "Understood."

Rachel put her hand on Katrina's shoulder. "You really shouldn't let her talk to you like that."

"We're friends now," Katrina said, smiling nervously. "Well, friend-ish, at least. You can't force these things."

"Thank you for understanding," Mallory said, smiling. "I mean it. I wish people would stop telling me to just get over it. It's not that easy, so really, thank you for understanding how I feel."

"No one wants to watch a cry fest," Rachel said, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: You know, I'm not entirely sure why I'm popular at my school, even. I don't like most of the idiots there, and I'm hardly than subtle about it.

Katrina: You know what I like about Rachel? She's a nice girl deep down, but she hides it behind this aggressive façade. I think Xuxa sees that, too. If I were a betting woman, I would say that she's more loved and less feared at her school.

* * *

"Well, we haven't been here in a while," Nicole said, late that night, looking around the second-place cabin as she entered, but was soon pushed out of the way by Stephanie. Nicole looked irritated. "You could've said 'excuse me,' you know."

"You could have not been blocking the doorway, you know," Stephanie said, then started rubbing her face.

"And people really think I'm the problem on this team," Jennie said, entering the room, headed straight to a bunk bed. "Even starting problems with her so-called friends."

"I neither have nor need friends," Stephanie said, settling down on another bed. "I have casual acquaintances, and that is good enough."

"Seriously, are you a robot?" Jennie asked. "Who talks like that. Can't you be normal?"

"So says the girl who believes eating vegetables is murder," Stephanie said, rolling her eyes.

"We're not going to be getting any sleep tonight, are we?" Elizabeth asked as she entered the cabin, then went over to the top bunk that was free.

"You know Stephanie," Jennie said. "Once she gets started, she never shuts up."

"You are like that too!" Stephanie shouted. "Don't you dare put this all on me!"

"Stephanie's got a point, you know," Nicole said. "Jennie, you do kind of like to argue with her."

"I don't enjoy it!" Jennie said, getting defensive. "I don't like arguing with people! And I was defending you! You should be thanking me for that!"

"I didn't really care that much," Nicole said. "And it really wasn't worth this argument between you and Stephanie."

"See, she did not care that I found it necessary to push her out of the way!" Stephanie shouted triumphantly.

"I didn't exactly say that, either…" Nicole said, trailing off.

"Seriously, it's late, can we get to sleep?" Elizabeth asked, covering her head with her pillow.

"Or what, you'll beat me up?" Stephanie shouted. "Look, I'm sick and tired of being afraid of you!"

"And I'm sick and tired of you not shutting the hell up, so we're even," grumbled Elizabeth.

"No, this ends tonight!" Stephanie yelled, then suddenly yanked Elizabeth out of her bed, and she fell straight down to the floor.

Elizabeth screamed, then yelped as she hit the floor. "What the hell was that?". Elizabeth looked a bit scared as she looked up at Stephanie.

"You and me are ending this now!" Stephanie screamed, red with rage, as she tried putting up fists, looking like she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing.

"Are you OK?" Jennie asked, concerned, walking over to Elizabeth and helping her up. "Need help?"

Elizabeth looked confused, then shrugged, got up, and left the room. Jennie looked upset and worried, and a few moments later, she left the room as well.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: (staring blankly into the camera) I have no idea what I even did.

* * *

Stephanie smiled triumphantly, then her face dropped. "I cannot believe I just did that." Stephanie started breathing heavily.

"Neither can I," Nicole said. "You might be dead by tomorrow."

"I had to do it," Stephanie said. "I could not let her continue walking all over me."

"I don't really remember her walking all over you, though," Nicole said, a bit confused.

"Oh, she was," Stephanie muttered, sitting on the edge of Nicole's bed, looking worried. "Jennie does not like me, for some ridiculous reason, Elizabeth blindly takes her side, because villains stick together, I can only assume, and Elizabeth tends to be a fan of violence, and especially threatening me with that violence." Stephanie slapped her own face. "Dear God, I turned into a rageaholic like Isis tonight!"

"A ragea-what?" Nicole asked, then blinked.

"I am usually nothing like Isis," Stephanie said, looking at the ceiling, dangling her legs from the bed, shuffling them back and forth. "I had to stand up for myself, though."

"Elizabeth didn't really do anything, though," Nicole said, smiling nervously.

"She was threatening me," Stephanie said. "Or she was about to. I do not appreciate such threats against my person. I have enough difficulty without her adding to that." Stephanie turned to Nicole. "Thank you."

"Thank you?" Nicole asked, confused.

"Thank you for being tolerant of someone who is superior intellectually and not becoming envious like most people, and for being a good acquaintance."

Nicole blinked. "Thank you?"

Stephanie sighed. "I'm sorry I pushed you earlier."

"It's OK," Nicole said, smiling a bit.

"It's easy for me to forget that most people are deficient in realizing when they are inconveniencing others by forming a blockade, for reasons I cannot discover."

"OK, you really didn't need to add in that second sentence," Nicole said.

"You are forgiven," Stephanie said.

"Thanks," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"I am not sure the other people on this team appreciate what I have to offer," Stephanie said. "I mean, I have been the greatest asset to this team, in ensuring that we do not face tribal council."

"Tribal council?" Nicole asked, then shrugged. "Anyway, I think they know. I think you just annoy everyone. Including me, actually."

"I am not trying to annoy anyone," Stephanie said, then tapped her chin. "Well, OK, I am trying to annoy Jennie, but she is asking for it."

"Well, you could try relaxing," Nicole said. "Don't get on people's cases when they're performing worse than you are."

"I attempted that last challenge," Stephanie said. "Jennie did not believe that I had no idea what I was doing, and we came close to losing because of that. The team falls apart without my guidance."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Stephanie really isn't so bad. Irritating, yes. Very very irritating, definitely. But she's trying to do what's good for her team, and she can even be somewhat friendly during the downtime.

Stephanie: I do not hate Nicole. If I had time for friends, then I really could see her and me getting along.

* * *

"Maybe you need to find a happy middle ground," Nicole said. "Try to take charge without alienating everyone. Maybe you can-"

Nicole was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Hello?" Rachel asked. "Isn't anyone going to invite me in?"

"No," Nicole muttered, suddenly turning upset.

"Please?" Rachel asked. "It's important! Well, important for me, anyway."

"We're not allowed to, anyway," Nicole said.

"Actually, she is allowed to come in," Stephanie said. "She is allowed in a lower-ranked cabin. We are just not allowed inside a higher-ranked cabin."

"Not helping," Nicole said, getting angrier.

"Look, Nicole, I'm sorry, just please let me in," Rachel said, sounding not so haughty.

Nicole sighed. "Stephanie, will you make sure she doesn't try to attack me?"

Stephanie blinked. "I don't think she would-"

"I don't know, but her type has before, and I don't want to be alone with her," Nicole said. "So just please be willing to step up in case she does."

"I can do that," Stephanie said, smirking, then went over to open the door, and Rachel walked in, almost looking as if she owned the place.

"OK, Jennie, Elizabeth, fat girl whose name I don't remember, I really need you three to leave," Rachel demanded. "And Elizabeth, I'm sorry for… wait." Rachel looked around the room, a bit surprised. "They're not in here."

"I stood up to Elizabeth, and she left," Stephanie said. "Someone needed to stand up to that evil girl, and I decided to be that someone."

Rachel slapped her own face and dragged her hand down her face. "Elizabeth's not evil, you idiot."

"How about we force you back out the door?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel cringed. "Look, I really wanted to talk to you two. Nicole, because I really needed to talk to you, and Stephanie, because I thought Nicole might not want to be alone one-on-one with me, and you would be disinterested enough in the conversation that I felt you were most trustworthy to be there for our conversation."

* * *

**Confession Punishment Room**

Rachel: Yes, I know, that was bizarrely convenient how it worked out, that Nicole and Stephanie were alone in the room at the time, but who am I to complain?

* * *

"Nicole, I want you to promise that you won't make fun of me," Rachel said.

"Do you promise to stop making fun of me?" Nicole asked, irritated. "It seems fair that if I'm not allowed to make fun of you, that you shouldn't be allowed to make fun of me, either."

Rachel cringed. "I have no choice but to accept your offer. No more making fun of your lifestyle choice, no matter how sick and twisted it is."

"You aren't stopping," Nicole said. "How about you leave right-"

"I'm sorry, Nicole," Rachel said, looking down. Rachel sat down on the floor, and started tearing up. "I like Katrina."

"I believe that was obvious," Stephanie said. "You two seem like best friends, except for her being goodness incarnate, and you being a cruel tyrant."

"She's not goodness incarnate, exactly," Nicole said, smiling a bit. "But I don't think that's what Rachel meant. And I don't want to press, but when you said you liked Katrina-"

"Yes, I meant that kind of like," Rachel said. "It's horrible and unnatural, but I can't help it."

"Could you please stop calling it horrible and unnatural?" Nicole asked.

Rachel cringed, and continued crying more, glaring at Nicole. "I wasn't insulting you, I was insulting me!"

"And everyone else who isn't straight," Nicole said. "And of all the reasons to insult you, that's not really one of them."

"I don't want to be like this, though," Rachel said. "I mean, before I came here, I was attracted to boys. I dated boys. I had sex with boys. And I liked it!"

"We did not need to know about the sex," Stephanie said, shaking her head.

"Well, I really don't know," Nicole said, shrugging. "Maybe you're bi? I really don't know."

Rachel cringed again. "Eww, that's so disg… um, OK, I'm sorry for that. This is just weird for me."

"That's really irritating, that you keep doing that," Nicole said, not very happy. "Stop it!"

"I'm sorry," Rachel said. "I'm bad at this. I kind of suck at being nice."

"Try harder," Nicole stated, irritated, tapping her finger on her bed.

"Yes," Rachel said. "Anyway, it's a feeling that won't go away, and I don't know what to do. And I don't want to tell her and scare her off, but I don't want to just keep it bottled up, either."

"You are aware this will eventually be watched by people all over the world, yes?" Stephanie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She doesn't really need to hear that," Nicole said. "I can't really tell you what to do. I am pretty sure she's straight, though, so I wouldn't expect a romance to come from it."

Rachel smiled. "Thank you." Rachel walked over to Nicole and sat on her bed, and put her arm around Nicole.

"Please don't touch me," Nicole said, looking a bit freaked out.

Rachel quickly took her arm off and smiled nervously. "I'm sorry, again. I thought that was nice."

"I'm still uncomfortable around you," Nicole said. "I thank you for not wanting me dead, but still, I'm not really comfortable around you."

"Oh," Rachel said, looking around the room nervously. "OK, a bit awkward." Rachel started whistling. "I guess I will be going now."

"Bye," Nicole said. Rachel then scuttled out the room.

Stephanie turned to Nicole. "Are you buying that?"

"No," Nicole said. "I don't know what she's up to, but she is up to something."

"Agreed," Stephanie said, then went back to her bed.

"Say, Stephanie?" Nicole asked.

"Yes?"

"If you don't mind my asking, is there anyone here you like?" Nicole looked excited waiting for an answer.

"No," Stephanie said harshly.

"OK, sore topic, I'm sorry I asked," Nicole said.

"It's fine," Stephanie said. "I'd just rather not talk about that. It's… it is annoying. I believe I should get some sleep now."

"That's good by me," Nicole said. "Goodnight, Stephanie."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Veronica: And when I was thirteen, I lost my favorite choo choo. Oh, how I missed my choo choo. I was depressed for days when that happened. But then, the next day, I-  
Rachel: (from outside the confessional) **Enough! **You've been in there for hours!  
Veronica: But I'm not finished. I still want to talk about the time when I-  
Rachel: No one cares! Do you really think they're going to air all of that? Come on, give me a turn now!

* * *

**Confession Punishment Room**

Rachel: (lifting her hand, covered in grunge) Eww, this is so disgusting! There really needs to be a time limit for how long someone can stay in there! I swear, I'm almost not sure whether she or Danielle spends more time in that confessional. Always feel like I have to wait for one of those two to get out. (Rachel shakes her head.) Anyway, I feel so dirty, being so nice to Nicole, but then, I deserve it, since I'm afraid I might be like her. What did I do to deserve this? I mean, I love Katrina, but I don't want to love her in that way! (Rachel starts sobbing.) I really am this horrible monster. I want to choose to be attracted to someone else! (Rachel starts hitting herself in the head repeatedly.) Stop liking Katrina like that! She is a wonderful friend and nothing more! Get that through your thick skull!

* * *

"Don't feel too bad," Mallory said, sitting next to Elizabeth, patting her on the back, as they were sitting at the campfire area. "You know you didn't do anything wrong."

"I really should be used to it, but I'm not," Elizabeth said, then put her head in her hands, with her elbows resting on her legs. "I don't even know how I got all wrapped up in this mess."

"That I can't answer," Mallory said, smiling brightly.

"Elizabeth!" Jennie called out, rushing over and glomping her. "There you are!"

"Sorry," Elizabeth said. "I just needed to step out."

"You shouldn't have to feel that way, you know," Jennie said. "We could have taken Stephanie on. She's puny!"

"I could have," Elizabeth said, then shrugged. "I don't really want to give the cameras footage of me starting fights."

"I probably should've whopped her one," Jennie said, then noticed Mallory. "Oh, hi, Jennie, and you're Mallory, right?"

"Yes," Mallory said, as Jennie shoved a pamphlet at her. "Um, what's this?"

Advice for saving the environment," Jennie said. "If we want a nice, green place to live tomorrow, we have to plan today."

"By killing trees to make pamphlets," Mallory said, smirking. "Tsk, tsk."

"It's one hundred percent recycled paper," Jennie said. "There's a lot of useful information in there."

"Trade your car for a bicycle?" Mallory asked, scratching her head. "This is the same information you hear everywhere."

"Ideally, if it's repeated enough, people will start to listen," Jennie said.

Mallory blinked. "I think I'll head for bed, now. Need a good night's sleep and all."

"Sure thing," Jennie said, smiling bright. "I can help you save the environment tomorrow morning!" Mallory walked away nervously, while Elizabeth shook her head.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: You know, I really do admire Jennie's dedication. But she is rather extreme, and pushing it on people like that really isn't going to have the desired effect.

Mallory: (nervously looking at the camera) Jennie kind of scares me a little.

* * *

"Mallory, my lady!" Alistair called out, holding his pipe, as Mallory was headed to her cabin for the night. "Quite glad to have caught you."

"Hi, Al," Mallory said, smiling.

"Alistair, please," Alistair said. "I must say I am quite relieved that you are safe, and that I cannot believe Katrina did that to you."

"Katrina didn't kidnap me, she was kidnapped with me," Mallory said.

"Oh, then I must have misheard," Alistair said. "Just keep in mind that she is a very dangerous lady, and there is no telling who she may hurt next."

"Actually, I'm really starting to question that," Mallory said. "My instincts do not really trust her, but she really has been making a real effort to apologize, and, well, I don't know. I'm still going to be careful around her, but I think she's sincere."

"Oh," Alistair said, sounding almost disappointed. "Well, I do hope for the best, but do be careful, my dear."

Mallory smiled bright. "I will! Goodnight, Alistair!" Mallory gave Alistair a kiss on the cheek. "You're such a gentleman!" Mallory waved as she entered her cabin.

"Blech, disgusting little snot!" Alistair shouted, then took out hand sanitizer and rubbed it on his cheek. "Who does that peasant think she is? She's a blithering idiot, that one."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (shaking his hands as if he were going to strangle the camera) I cannot believe the sheer **nerve **of that wretch! How **dare **she sully the great name of Alistair Henry Charles Swan VIII! (Alistair starts hyperventilating, then calms himself down, and presses his hands together.) Mallory may be an idiot, but Katrina is not, which, combined with how everyone loves her, could be a problem. I simply need to find a way to turn everyone against Katrina, and unlike Danielle, I shall actually succeed!

Katrina: (nervously playing with her hair, tearing up slightly) So yeah, that's what happened. I'm truly lucky not to be in prison right now. I really hadn't realized back then just how horrible and cruel we all were. It seemed like innocent fun at the time.

* * *

Izzy and Bridgette were wearing tuxedos, top hats, and holding canes as they started dancing and singing. "Overture, curtain, lights. This is it, the night of nights. No more rehearsing or-"

"Oof!" Bridgette cried out, as she tripped and fell over on her face.

Izzy leaned on her cane and shook her head. "That's not how it goes."

"Quite aware, thank you," Bridgette said, as she picked herself off from the ground, then dusted herself off.

"Well, we had fun yesterday, didn't we?" Izzy asked. "I mean, the kidnapping, the discovery of where Katrina and Mallory were being held-we didn't really solve that case, did we?"

"Bringing Todd here was a bad idea," Bridgette said.

"Yeah, but Todd did it because of some person who clearly did not wish to be identified," Izzy said.

Bridgette shrugged. "It was probably Chris. Probably wanting to get revenge for being fired."

Izzy stroked her chin. "Maybe, but I want to keep my options open."

"If it was a contestant, could we eject that person from the game?" Bridgette asked.

"If we couldn't eject Todd, we wouldn't be able to eject that person, either."

Bridgette sighed, then kicked the ground lightly. "Can we tell the other contestants so they can vote the person off?"

Izzy shrugged. "I'll have to check with Courtney on that."

"We can probably watch the tapes to figure it out, right?" Bridgette asked.

"Heather is already doing that," Izzy said. "She claims she knows who it has to be. I also think she's a little crazy, though, since she thinks Katrina had herself kidnapped. But then, I like crazy! Crazy is fun!"

"I'm a little suspicious of Rachel, really," Bridgette said. "She's not very nice, and I'm pretty sure she's only pretending to like Katrina and Xuxa."

"Maybe," Izzy said, then smiled bright for the camera. "Anyway, to get back on track, last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _Katrina and Mallory were kidnapped by Todd, under orders from someone, though we're not sure who. But even if we did know, we probably wouldn't tell you yet, to keep up the suspense, and really, I'd rather have that choice of when to have it revealed, but I don't yet know myself. But anyway, Katrina and Mallory escaped, so all is well. But what will happen today?"

"Um, aren't you forgetting something?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" Izzy cried out, raising her hand. "Stephanie saved them!"

"I meant about the challenge, and who got eliminated, and such?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh yeah, silly me," Izzy said, smiling bright once more. "The contestants had to build sandcastles, and even though Ophelia made what looked like a really awesome sandcastle, Bob knocked it down, so Team Himalayas lost, and everyone voted off Bob for making them lose the challenge. Even though two of them would have probably wanted to vote off Bob, anyway."

"How that team managed to not even consider voting off Danielle for even a fraction of a second still leaves me stunned," Bridgette said. "How did she manage to get the majority, who really hated her, off like that, leaving the only two people who could stand being around her?"

"Heather was pretty good at that too, as I recall," Izzy said. "But whatever, Danielle is still around, and Bob was voted off, leaving seventeen contestants left. And we're going to see what talents these people have, and let them show them off to the world! We shall see nine acts which will make or break each team. Which team will have the best showmen? Which team will be packing someone home?"

"I'm kind of hoping it's Team Moon," Bridgette said. "They've got some pretty mean people on their team."

"And Danielle's on Team Himalayas," Izzy said.

"And realistically, Danielle isn't going to be the one voted out of they lose," Bridgette said. "And really, I'd like to see her try to make up with Courtney."

"**NEVER!**" Courtney screamed from somewhere distant.

Bridgette and Izzy both blinked, looking stunned. "She's listening to us? Where is she?" Bridgette shouted nervously.

"I really don't know," Izzy said, looking a bit scared herself. The two girls then clutched onto each other nervously.

"Hello, my lackeys," Rachel said, wearing a pair of sunglasses which she put above her head as she entered the dining room, looking toward Katrina and Xuxa, sitting at their usual table. "I have decided to generously grace you with my presence this morning."

"That's not a very nice greeting," Xuxa said nervously.

"And I'm not a very nice person," Rachel said, squeezing herself between Xuxa and Katrina, then putting her hand to her heart. "You should be thankful I hang with you guys at all."

"I guess," Xuxa said, putting her pointer fingers together.

"You know you're a good friend," Katrina said. "We don't need to tell you that."

"Ah, but I do enjoy the reminders," Rachel said, grinning.

"Hi people!" Danielle exclaimed, bursting through the dining room door. "Heeeerrrrre's Johnny!"

"Joy," Rachel muttered. "She's back."

Danielle appeared from under the table in Rachel's lap, putting her, Xuxa, and Katrina in shock. "You bet I am!" Danielle squeezed Rachel's nose twice. "Honk! Honk!"

"Are you feeling all right?" Nicole asked, confused.

Danielle leapt into Nicole's lap and started caressing her. "Aww, I didn't know you cared!" Danielle kissed Nicole's nose, then leapt off.

"Are you feeling all right?" Hank asked, smirking.

"Why yes I am!" Danielle exclaimed, then shoved the eggs on his plate down his pants. "Glad you asked!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: I was kind of hoping for a kiss there. (Hank looks down his pants.) On the other hand, it's nice that a hot girl noticed me, regardless.

* * *

"You're in a good mood today," George said, as Danielle sat next to him. "Glad you're feeling better today."

Danielle waved her hand dismissively to no one in particular. "Aw, it's all right. It's a new day. Can't stay angry forever."

"I didn't know you were mad," George said.

"Oh, silly George," Danielle said, messing up George's hair. "I'm always mad, don't'cha know! It's why you love me!"

"Um, OK?" George asked, confused.

Ophelia entered the dining room, smiling slightly as she calmly walked over toward George and Danielle. "Hi George. Hi Danielle." After Ophelia sat down for a few seconds, her face contorted and she looked at Danielle, shocked, and the two girls screamed bloody murder.

"That was unnecessary," George said, covering his ears, shivering.

"What was that?" Rachel yelled, also with her ears covered.

"What am I doing over there?" Ophelia yelled, pointing at Danielle.

"And what am I doing over there?" Danielle yelled, pointing at Ophelia, but then smiled and giggled. "Hey, that means it worked!"

"What worked?" Ophelia yelled, throwing her arms in the air. "What did you do?"

"Oh, Danielle, you're so silly!" Danielle exclaimed, patting Ophelia's head. "The amulets worked! You're in my body, and I'm in your body! Tee hee!" Danielle smiled bright.

"What the hell?" Ophelia yelled, then started panicking and pacing before George and Danielle. "This is bad, this is bad, this is bad! Why did you do this?"

"To cheer you up!" Danielle exclaimed, then took out a noisemaker from her shirt and blew it in Ophelia's ear. "Surprise!"

"Wait," George said, holding his head as if he had a headache. "Let me get this straight." George turned to Ophelia. "You're Danielle." George then turned to Danielle. "And you're Ophelia."

"That's right!" Danielle exclaimed, glomping George. Then kissing him several times.

Ophelia pulled Danielle off of George. "No. Bad Ophelia. Bad." Ophelia took a nearby rolled-up newspaper and whacked Danielle on the head with it.

"I'm sorry," Danielle said, pretending to cry, wiping her eye with a curled-up hand. "I'm just so excited! I get to experience life as you, and boy, do I look absolutely gorgeous!"

"Um, thanks," Ophelia said. "Look, this is all fun and stuff, but can you reverse this?"

Danielle waved her hand dismissively. "Oh sure, we just need to use the amulets again. But we have only twenty-four hours, or the change becomes permanent!"

"Wait, what?" Ophelia shouted nervously. "Why?"

Danielle shrugged. "Dunno'. The Gypsy lady I got the amulets from didn't tell me why."

"But that doesn't even make any sense!" Ophelia shouted frantically. "If staying in our own bodies for seventeen plus years doesn't make staying in our own bodies permanent, then why does a mere twenty-four hours matter, anyway?"

Danielle shrugged. "Look, I don't make the rules. I just repeat what I'm told."

"Is anyone really buying this?" Rachel asked, rolling her eyes. "I mean, really."

"Ophelia would do this," Katrina said. "Danielle would not, but this really doesn't make any logical sense."

Ophelia sat curled on the ground, crying. "Ophelia, pretty please get the amulets back. This really isn't fun. Please."

Danielle blew some hair from her face. "All right, all right, I'll get the amulets, Miss Fuddy Duddy." Danielle merrily skipped out of thee dining room.

George looked confused, then went down to where Ophelia was crying, and put his arm around here. "It's going to be OK."

Ophelia clutched to George. "Thank you."

"Erm, bad news," Danielle said nervously as she reentered the dining room, and wiped some sweat from her forehead. "The amulets, well, you see, they're kind of…."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (Ophelia wails for a good fifteen seconds from the top of her lungs.) **No! No! No! No! No! Not fair, not fair, NOT FAIR! **What did I do to deserve this, please, God, what did I ever do to deserve this? Whatever it was, I'm sorry! Just please, please let me get my old, ridiculously perfect and beautiful old body back! **Please!**

Danielle: (looking at herself in a hand-held mirror, primping her hair) I could get used to this. I really am the most beautiful human being in existence. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm going to do my best to find those amulets, since she really wants this body back. Which I can completely understand, seeing as how beautiful I am currently. (Danielle strikes poses for the camera.) After I have a little fun with this!

* * *

The seventeen contestants were gathered before Izzy and Bridgette near the dock. "Hello, people!" Izzy exclaimed, waving to everyone, then made a huge leap onto Alistair's shoulders. "Giddy-up, horsie!" Izzy exclaimed, waving a fist in the air, while Alistair fell to the ground.

"Get off me!" Alistair shouted. "What are you doing?"

Izzy rolled her eyes, but didn't get off of Alistair. "I believe I was giddying up."

Alistair slapped his own face. "I don't care, just get off!"

"Touchy," Izzy said, then bounced herself off, and walked over to Bridgette, who was holding back laughter. "Anyway, today we're going to have the popular Wawanakwa talent show! Three people from each of your teams will be performing. The act will be up to you. We will have our interns judging your acts, on a scale from one to ten. The points for all three of your acts will be totaled together, and whichever team gets closest to two hundred ten, without going over, wins!"

"Going ov… never mind," Rachel said, shaking her head vigorously. "So I assume that the team with the lowest score votes someone out, correct?"

"Correct," Izzy said.

"And what does this have to do with horses?" Alistair asked. "What was the whole 'using me as a horse' thing for?"

Danielle skipped over to Alistair and pinched his cheek. "You're so silly!"

Alistair slapped Danielle's hand away. "I don't recall giving you permission to touch me."

Danielle smirked. "I don't recall caring." Danielle gave Alistair a big, wet kiss, then pinched his nose a couple of times, going "honk, honk!"

"**Stop that!**" Alistair yelled, pushing Danielle to the ground.

Danielle popped right back up and snatched Alistair's pipe. "Ooh, a present for moi? You shouldn't have!"

"I didn't!" Alistair yelled, tugging on his hair in frustration.

Danielle nibbled on the pipe, then started eating the whole thing. "Om nom nom nom! Delicious!"

"That was a fifteen hundred dollar pipe you just ate!" Alistair screamed. "Get away from me!"

"I think I have a new boyfriend," Danielle said, then purred. "Though that icky tobacco taste, we'll need to do something about that."

"You already ate his pipe," Ophelia said, then sighed. Ophelia walked over to Danielle and dragged her away from Alistair. "I think you've bothered hi enough today.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: That was kind of fun, though. Alistair deserves it, but I am a bit worried about Ophelia having used my body to eat that pipe. I'm not sure my body can tolerate that very well.

Alistair: What the hell is wrong with that freak! I despise that horrid woman almost as much as I detest Mallory and Katrina! I desperately need her gone! (Alistair starts to cry.) My poor, poor Clarice. I can't believe that monster just ate you like that.

* * *

Bridgette blinked, then turned to Izzy. "Is Danielle OK?"

"Huh?" Izzy asked, confused, then smiled. "Oh, yeah, she's all right. Danielle and Ophelia just switched bodies, even though they didn't switch voices for some reason. Which that always bugs me, because how does someone's voice get switched into their new body anyway?" Izzy's eyes shot wide open, then she gasped. "Oh no! Is this like one of those twenty-four hour curses, where if you can't switch back within twenty-four hours, you're stuck in your new bodies forever?"

"I swear, does everyone know that ridiculous rule except for me?" Ophelia asked.

"It's a magical amulet," Danielle said. "Why would you question a magical amulet? It's magic! It makes its own rules!"

"Magic isn't real," Ophelia said, rolling her eyes.

"And our current situation?" Danielle asked. "How exactly would you explain it?"

"There's a scientific explanation for it," Ophelia said. "And there's a scientific way to get this reversed."

"You two are weirdos," Rachel muttered, watching the two girls in disbelief.

Danielle smiled bright. "I try!" Rachel groaned.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (filing her nails) I should learn to stop questioning the idiocy around me and just accept that almost everyone here is an idiot. The crazy girl and spoiled girl are fooling everyone, and I have no idea why no one else can see that they're both just being stupid and messing with everyone.

Stephanie: I just got in here after Rachel, and I strongly suspect she was calling everyone imbeciles for believing that Ophelia and Danielle have really switched bodies. And no, Rachel, I am not that stupid. I just feel it is not worth my time to get involved in nonsensical matters that do not affect my team.

* * *

"All right, you three, we're a team of three, so we're all going to have to compete here," Ophelia said, with George and Danielle huddled with her. "Now, George, you can-"

"Wait, wait, wait just a second here," Danielle said. "Shouldn't I be the boss, since I'm in your body?"

"No," Ophelia said, irritated. "Not that it's going to make much difference here, but no."

"But you haven't been a great leader in the past," Danielle said. "Your track record is not very good."

"That's just bad luck on my part, I assure you," Ophelia said, getting irritated, then took in some deep breaths. "OK, I'm good."

"When has Ophelia ever… um, oh," George said, then looked embarrassed. "Forgot about the whole switched bodies thing."

"Yes, you need to keep track here," Danielle said, looking dreamy, up toward the sky. "I'm Ophelia, and Ophelia is Danielle!"

"Anyway, Ophelia, you should sing," Ophelia said. "My body happens to come with the world's greatest singing voice."

"Ooh, really?" Danielle said, her face perking up. "Ooh, you should totally try out for _American Idol!"_

Ophelia shrugged. "I can't. I'm not American. I don't know it matters, though."

"Can I use your singing voice, though?" Danielle asked. "I mean, I haven't really practiced with it."

"You will be a natural at it, trust me!" Ophelia said. "My body is terrifically talented, and I'm sure now that you possess my body, you will have that same ridiculous amount of talent."

"Shouldn't we be more worried about finding those… amulets, were they?" George asked.

"Yes, but we need to win!" Ophelia shouted. "We are down to three, so it's imperative for us to win!"

"Just asking," George said.

"All right, let me clear my throat," Danielle said, then cleared her throat. "Let me clear my mind." Danielle motioned her hands to her side. "Let me clear my name! I'm innocent! I was framed! Ooh, ooh, and I need to clear my nectarines!"

"Clear your nectarines?" Ophelia asked, raising an eyebrow.

Danielle smiled bright. "Sure, so much tastier than those opaque nectarines. Or those dastardly peaches!" Danielle shakes her fist to the sky. "Curse you, throat-tickling fuzz!" Ophelia rolled her eyes, while Danielle started to sing. Badly. "Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh-"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Ophelia yelled, covering her ears. "That was atrocious! You're giving my body a bad name!"

"It wasn't that bad," George said, then he turned his head away from Danielle. "I mean, it was pretty bad, but Ophe… Danielle is exaggerating a bit."

Danielle sighed. "I really must practice. If Danielle says that I should have the voice of an angel, then I must!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: La la la la la la laaaa! (Danielle coughs.) La la la la la la laaaa! (Danielle giggles.) This makes me want to la la, in the kitchen on the floor!

Ophelia: Ugh, this is terrible! I have no idea what I can do with Ophelia's body. Singing is out, that's for sure. I need to figure this out, though, since all three of us have to do something.


	23. Day 11, Part 2: Three Is a Magic Number

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 23: Day 11: Part 2: Three Is a Magic Number**

Stephanie was sitting behind a desk outside, tapping a pen on it. "All right, Todd, show us what you can do."

"Mwahahahaha!" Todd laughed, standing before Stephanie, while the other Team Moon contestants were watching. "Watch as I, The Todd, cause mayhem and destruction across the land!"

"Yeah, I do not think that's going to win this for us," Stephanie muttered. "You are going to have to do better than that."

"I can create an evil invention from random spare parts in mere minutes," Todd said.

"How about making it an invention that is not evil?" Stephanie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, it must be evil," Todd insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Stephanie tapped her pen on the desk a few more times, then jotted something down on a piece of paper in front of her. "I will put you down as a 'maybe.'"

"The Todd finds 'maybe' unacceptable!" Todd proclaimed, putting his hand to his chest.

"Then I will list that as a flat-out 'no,'" Stephanie stated flatly.

Todd looked taken aback. "Maybe is fine," Todd said.

"Are you sure about him?" Nicole asked, standing next to Stephanie.

"In the likely event that we do not have three people here with real talents, we may need him," Stephanie said. "Next!"

Hank stepped before Stephanie. "I can-"

"Next!" Stephanie shouted.

Hank looked shocked. "But I didn't-"

"Next!" Stephanie repeated.

Hank raised a finger. "But-"

"**Next!**" Stephanie, Nicole, Jennie, Elizabeth, and Veronica all shouted in unison. Hank sighed and walked off.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (rolling her eyes) I can't tell you how much it disturbs me that if that bit with Hank makes it to air, we're probably going to look like the bad guys.

Quincy: I don't really get why the girls all treat Hank like he's some sort of disease. I don't get why he hangs around Todd so much, but really, he's just a nice guy who hasn't had much luck with women.

* * *

"Hip hop is not a talent," Stephanie complained, with Quincy slapping his face in frustration.

"Um, yes it is," Quincy said.

"It is trash, and no one with decent taste would listen to such," Stephanie complained. "It is not a talent, and you will not be performing."

"I like hip hop," Nicole said, dancing a bit. "Why don't we let him try, at least."

Stephanie let out a loud sigh. "Fine!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: O… K… that actually was really awful. Still, it's usually pretty good. Just… not him.

Todd: (rubbing his hands together, with an evil grin on his face) Oh, how I loved everyone's reaction to Quincy's so-called singing! That would have been so glorious to watch… had I remembered to bring my ear plugs with me. I'm a bit less fond of being tortured myself. (Todd cringes.)

* * *

"OK, so the acts will be me, Elizabeth, and…" Stephanie trailed off, then shuddered, "Jennie."

Jennie rolled her eyes and had her arms crossed over her chest. "Gee, how lovely for you to so graciously allow me to perform."

Stephanie cringed. "It was either you or Todd, and while Todd may be a nicer person-"

"All lies!" Todd shouted.

Stephanie gave Todd a weird glare. "And while I can stand to be around Todd more than I can you, we need you so we can actually win."

Veronica nervously raised her hand. "I might be able to do something."

"Sorry," Jennie said, shaking her head. "We already have our three acts, though."

"Wait," Stephanie said, holding up her hand. "I would like to see what she can do."

"So she can replace me," Jennie said, irritated.

"Yes," Stephanie said. "Veronica, what can you do?"

"I can sing a little," Veronica said, rubbing her foot on the ground nervously. "I'm probably not good enough for the talent show, though."

Nicole shrugged. "Can't be any worse than Quincy."

Veronica giggled. "OK, I'm definitely better than him, don't worry!"

"Hey!" Quincy shouted.

Veronica cleared her throat, then started to sing.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (very giddy) She's a soprano! She's perfect! And I mean, really, perfect! (Stephanie wipes a tear from her eye.) She'll probably score even higher than me! I'm jealous! I want that kind of voice!

* * *

"So that settles it," Stephanie said, placing her pen on the desk. "Our participants will be Veronica, Elizabeth, and Jennie."

"No, I'm doing this!" Jennie shouted, looking bitter.

Stephanie blinked. "I said you would be doing this."

"Wait… you cut yourself?" Jennie asked, confused.

"Well, all I can do is sing," Stephanie said. "I am not as good a singer as Veronica. Unless you would rather be cut-"

"No, no, I'm good," Jennie said, then chuckled nervously.

"You three need to practice," Stephanie said. "If anyone needs some assistance, I will be more than happy to help."

Elizabeth smirked. "Funny you should say that-"

"No!" Stephanie shouted. "No, no, no, I am not doing that! No!"

"You are aware that I am not going to kill you," Elizabeth said.

"No, no, no, no, **no!**" Stephanie shouted, stomping her foot.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Elizabeth: (rolling her eyes) What a baby.

* * *

"Katrina, Xuxa, you two and I will be performing," Rachel insisted, pacing among her teammates. "Alistair, Mallory, you two will sit out."

"I have no problem with that," Alistair said, shrugging. "I'm going to take a nap. Do not disturb me."

"No worries there," Rachel said, then pretended to gag.

"I'd like to perform," Mallory said, raising her hand.

"No," Rachel said.

"Come on, Rachel," Katrina said. "We should give her a chance. And we should give Zack a chance, too!"

"Who?" Rachel asked, confused.

"It's OK, I'm fine sitting out," Zack said, sitting on the ground, nervous.

"Are you sure, Zackie?" Katrina asked sweetly. "I don't want you to sell yourself short."

"Really, I'm good," Zack said, then sighed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: I think Zack has stage fright. It's too bad. I bet there's something he could have really wowed everyone with!

Mallory: It's too bad, really. Zack probably could've done something cool, but I guess it wouldn't really have been fair to force him to perform.

* * *

Xuxa was juggling bowling pins, though after a few seconds, she'd conked herself in the head with one, and dropped the rest, and she dizzily dropped to the ground herself shortly after.

Katrina knelt down to Xuxa. "Are you all right? You've got birds spinning around your head." Katrina shoos the birds away. "So strange how birds are drawn to head injuries."

Rachel shook her head in the palm of her hand. "We may be able to use you after all, Mallory. So what can you do?"

Dark clouds formed behind Mallory, and she got a crazed look in her face. "I can **scare people!**" Mallory hung her hand in front of her, drooping. "**Mwahahahaha!**"

"Eep!" Zack eeped, hiding his face behind his beret.

Rachel yawned. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?" Katrina was watching, nervously playing with her hands.

"And you know what's scary?" Mallory asked. "Witches! Witches are scary!" Katrina gulped.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (nervously playing with a piece of string) I didn't want to say anything, since I'm lucky that Mallory doesn't want me dead, but I was a bit uncomfortable with Mallory's act. Kind of brings back bad memories, but it wouldn't be fair for me to force her to do something else just because I don't really like it.

* * *

"Destiny has decreed that we win this challenge!" Danielle exclaimed. "After all, we're like God's team!"

"God's team?" George asked.

"Well, yeah," Danielle said. "The George Ophelia Danielle team! Or G-O-D! See? Us winning is like destiny!"

Ophelia rolled her eyes. "That's nonsense, you know. I'm pretty sure God has better things to do then to ensure our team's victory."

Danielle lightly punched Ophelia in the arm. "You're such a pessimist."

"I'm still stuck in your body!" Ophelia shouted. "I think I have reason to be a bit negative today!"

Danielle waved dismissively to Ophelia. "You worry too much. I'll find the amulets, no problem!" Danielle took out some sheet music. "I think I'll sing this."

Ophelia took the sheet music and looked worried. "'Total Eclipse of the Heart'? Are you sure you don't want to tackle something simpler than that? I mean, in my own body, I, naturally, could do this in my sleep, but I don't think I can now."

"Is there a piano around I can practice?" Danielle asked excitedly. "I want to play the piano while I'm performing!"

"I think there's a piano around, but maybe you should just stick with singing?" Ophelia asked, distraught. "The singing might be hard enough as it is."

"Don't worry, I can do this!" Danielle exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (shaking her head in the palm of her hand) This is going to be a disaster.

* * *

Danielle was sitting at the piano, wearing a huge smile, while Ophelia looked nervously at George. "So, how'd I do?" Danielle asked.

"Not the best I've heard," George said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Absolutely ghastly," Ophelia said. "You should be ashamed of subjecting us to that!" Danielle sniffled, then started bawling out waterfalls.

"That was kind of harsh, Danielle," George said.

Ophelia crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes. "Hmph! She deserved it!"

"So, what can you do?" George asked.

"I can do anything!" Ophelia insisted. "Well, in my old body, at least. This body, not so sure." Ophelia cleared her throat. "The wheels on the bus go round and round-"

"OK, that's enough, you're not very good at singing," George said.

"I am an excellent singer!" Ophelia said, worried.

"Well, maybe you were, but not so much in Ophelia's body," George said.

"That's not fair, though!" Ophelia shouted, stomping her foot. "I'm a wonderful singer! I just can't do it in this body!" Ophelia started bawling waterfalls out of her eyes.

"Getting ready for a future Niagara Falls challenge, I guess," George said.

"Don't make fun!" Ophelia shouted, slapping George.

"Ow, OK, OK!" George said, laughing a bit. "I'll stop."

Ophelia stopped crying and put a huge smile on her face and glomped George. "Thank you!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (smiling coyly, holding her hands together in her lap) George really is sweet sometimes! Such a good guy!

George: I don't really understand Danielle. I like her, though.

* * *

"Look! Look!" Ophelia exclaimed, touching her nose with her tongue. "Isn't this cool?"

"Isn't what cool?" George asked.

"Oh, yeah, silly me," Ophelia said, smiling innocently. "I was touching my nose with my tongue! If you could've seen it, you'd have been impressed!"

"That doesn't sound like you at all," George said.

Ophelia shrugged. "Well, I'm in Ophelia's body now. I need to figure out what Ophelia's body is capable of, and apparently, touching her nose with her tongue is one of those things."

"I love doing that!" Danielle exclaimed. "You got the hang of that pretty fast! That should totally be your talent!"

Ophelia blinked. "Wait, are you serious? Is there really nothing more impressive that I can do with this body?"

Danielle tapped her chin, then shrugged. "No, don't think so, sorry."

Ophelia sighed. "I'll continue searching for something else I can do." Ophelia walked off.

Danielle watched as Ophelia walked away, then smirked when she was out of sight. "Perfect."

"What's perfect?" George asked, confused.

"This," Danielle said, then grabbed George and started a passionate kiss. George soon pulled himself away, though.

"What are you doing?" George asked.

Danielle touched George's nose. "I like you, silly!"

"I kind of like Danielle, though," George said.

"Ooh, you do?" Danielle asked, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"Well, yeah," George said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Aww, that's sweet," Danielle cooed. "But I won't tell if you don't!" Danielle exclaimed, then grabbed George again, though George pulled himself away instantly.

"No, stop that!" George shouted. "I like Danielle."

Danielle's lip started quivering. "We're not friends?"

"Not if you keep doing that, no," George said.

Danielle sat down on the ground and pouted. "Fine. **Be **that way!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I really don't get Ophelia. I think Danielle likes me. Why would Ophelia hurt her best friend like that?

Danielle: (giggling wildly, with her hand hovering over her mouth) George is so funny! Tee hee!

* * *

Alyssa, Charlotte, Rain, Zoe, Margo, Elli, and Alexis were sitting at a large table in front of the amphitheatre. Team Moon was seated on a set of bleachers to the left of the stage, and Team Amazon was seated on a set of bleachers to the right, with George, Ophelia, and Danielle sitting on the ground in front of the interns' table. Izzy and Bridgette were standing on the stage.

"Good day, everyone, and welcome to our Camp Wawanakwa talent show! We will have nine, count them, nine wonderful acts presented for your indulgence, and I hope everyone has fun! And of course, each act will be rated on a scale of seventy, and the team with the highest score out of two hundred ten wins! And the team with the lowest overall score will send someone home, so good luck! Team Moon, since you all have the most members, you will go first." Jennie nodded, then headed up to the stage.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: I don't really get what that was. I had a better talent! Should've let me in the show.

* * *

Jennie was dressed in a ballerina's outfit, and pressed a button on a boom box placed on the side of the stage. Jennie walked to the middle of the stage, and began dancing when the strange instrumental music started.

"That's… not ballet, is it?" Rachel asked, confused. "That sucks!"

Todd rolled his eyes. "Don't I know it."

"Shush, peasant!" Stephanie whispered loudly to Todd, then took out a pair of opera glasses to wear.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: That. Was. Beautiful! (Stephanie hugs herself.) Jennie may be a horrid woman, but she can at least appreciate high art.

Rachel: Really, what the hell was that?

Rain: Really, what the hell was that?

Charlotte: I dunno'… it was kinda' boring. I didn't get it.

Margo: I liked it. It was nice, and relaxing, and fun like that! Yeah… nice a lullaby-y, but without the music that lets you sleep… it was nice.

* * *

Bridgette was standing on the stage with an envelope, opening the envelope, while Jennie was sitting in the bleachers, nervous. "And Jennie has earned thirty-eight points!"

"You're kidding!" Stephanie shouted. "She was beautiful up there!"

"Thank you," Jennie said, smiling slightly, but almost immediately after looked confused. "Wait, you liked it."

"Don't push it," Stephanie muttered, then smiled slightly.

"Team Amazon," Bridgette started, "it's your turn to have someone perform.

"Very well," Rachel said, standing up. "It might as well be me who starts our team off on the right foot." Rachel walked up to the stage, and went behind the curtain. A few seconds later, she emerged, wearing a maroon and white cheerleading outfit. "**Give me an A!**" Rachel screamed, doing a little spin and putting her arm to the sky.

"A!" Katrina exclaimed, raising her hand. Many others went along, but a bit less excitedly.

"**Give me an M!**" Rachel screamed.

"M!" Katrina exclaimed again, with several others going along.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (pounding her fist on the arm of the chair) Damn, Rachel's good. Cheerleading serves little practical purpose, but the masses like it, and she's damn good at it. Who knew Rachel of all people could be peppy?

* * *

Rachel was standing at the top of a pyramid, being held up by Alexis, Zoe, Rain, Margo, and Charlotte, then did a double flip down, and then another immediate flip. "**Wawanakwa!**"

"**Wawanakwa!**" everyone watching cheered, then went into wild applause. Rachel blushed a bit and smiled.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: That was so cool! Rachel hardly ever seems happy, but when she was doing her cheerleading routine, wow! I don't even know how she managed to get the interns to participate! It's like she cast some sort of spell on everyone!

Rachel: That felt so good! That's actually a lot of work, and I hope I can get my girls back home in tip top form! We're going all the way to the top!

Rain: (staring in shock) What… just happened?

* * *

"And Rachel, you have scored a very impressive sixty-two points!" Bridgette exclaimed, reading off a paper from an envelope she was holding.

"You did good," Katrina said, smiling bright.

"It was nothing," Rachel said casually.

"No, really, that was awesome!" Xuxa exclaimed, then glomped Rachel. "You were, like, so excited, and got everyone into it, and it was magic, and-"

"That's nice, could you please let go?" Rachel asked.

Xuxa let go, looking embarrassed. "Sorry."

"Next up is Team Moon," Bridgette said.

"Wish me luck," Danielle said, then gulped, while Duncan rolled a piano onto the stage.

"We're doomed," Ophelia said, looking scared.

Danielle sat down at the piano, cracked her knuckles, then started softly playing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' Very recognizably so. Danielle then started singing. Ophelia's jaw dropped to the ground.

"It's beautiful," George said. Ophelia just continued to stare, mouth agape.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: Wow… Ophelia did it! She figured out how to use my singing voice, and pulled that song off so perfectly! So beautiful, so powerful and full of raw emotion, so… me! And I have no idea how she trained herself to play the piano like that so quickly! But just, wow! Wow!

* * *

"Turn around…" Danielle sang, as she wrapped up the song. Danielle got thunderous applause from everyone, with several of the contestants crying. Danielle herself looked star struck and was tearing up. "Thank you!"

"That was beautiful," Ophelia said, crying, hugging George.

"It was," George said, also crying.

Stephanie turned to Veronica. "You have some serious competition here. Do you think you can handle it?"

Veronica put a fierce look on her face. "Bring it!"

"Good," Stephanie said, grinning. "Exactly what I was hoping to hear."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Veronica: (sighing) Yeah, I'm definitely not as good as Danielle. Or Ophelia. I'm a little confused who that was, but I'm really not that good. I just hope I don't disappoint my team too much.

Rachel: (admiring the back of her hand) Well, I suppose Danielle or whoever was pretty good, but yeah, no competition for us. We've still got two tricks up our sleeves. We're so winning this.

Charlotte: That was so wonderful! I had to stop myself from singing along, since that wouldn't have been fair. I mean, I'm probably not quite as good as Danielle was with singing.

* * *

Bridgette smiled brightly as she held an envelope on the stage. "And Danielle… err, Ophelia, you have earned sixty-eight points for that performance! Team Himalayas is currently in first place! Congratulations!"

"Good job!" Ophelia exclaimed, putting her hand on Danielle's shoulder and shaking it.

"Thank you," Danielle said meekly, blushing.

"Now, back to Team Moon, you're up!"

"Thank you," Elizabeth said. "And I will need a lovely assistant for this, if you please, Stephanie."

Stephanie sighed, then walked up to the stage with Elizabeth. Elizabeth took out a large cape, waved it in front of her, and almost instantly reappeared from behind it wearing a sexy magician's outfit. "Thank you, I'll be here all evening, folks. Now, for my first trick, I shall pull Stephanie from out of my hat!"

"You're kidding," Stephanie said, raising an eyebrow.

Elizabeth took off her hat, and showed the inside to the audience. "As you can see, my hat is empty. But I say the magic words, abra cadabra, and presto!" Elizabeth reached into the hat, and pulled out Stephanie. "Tah-dah!"

Stephanie's eyes were wide open. "What was that?"

"Magic, my dear," Elizabeth said smugly, then released Stephanie from her grip. Elizabeth took out a deck of playing cards and fanned them out. "Pick a card, any card." Stephanie shrugged, then picked one of the cards. "Please show your card to the audience." Stephanie showed the four of diamonds to everyone except Elizabeth. "OK, now that everyone has seen your card, please put it back in the deck, and shuffle them up." Stephanie did as told, and then Elizabeth took the seven of clubs from the deck. "Is this your card?"

"No," Stephanie said.

"Hmm…" Elizabeth said, thinking, then took out the queen of hearts. "Is this your card?"

"No," Stephanie said.

"You know, I think I lost it," Elizabeth said. "Can everyone out there check their pockets? I seem to have misplaced it somewhere."

"Did someone put four diamonds in my pocket?" Mallory asked, confused, holding up four large diamonds.

"Yes, thank you!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "There it is, the four of diamonds!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: That was kind of fun. But still, she's a cold-blooded killer, and she was only doing that to help our team out. I know she still wants me dead. But still, it was legitimately fun doing that with her… except she's still evil!

Elizabeth: (cradling her knee with her hands) You know, that was actually kinda' nice. I think Stephanie was a bit nervous up there, but she was a good sport, and, dare I say, actually tolerable for a change.

Elli: Gotta' say, I really liked it. Always liked card tricks.

Alexis: I was kind of grossed out when Stephanie was released from the box, and her top half fell off of her bottom half. That was… unsettling. I don't know how Stephanie survived that.

* * *

"And Elizabeth, you have earned your team a respectable forty-seven points," Bridgette said from the stage, smiling. "Team Moon is in the lead now with eighty-five points!"

"I loved how gruesome it was when she sawed you in half," Todd said to Stephanie, then laughed.

"I have no idea what she did, but it surprisingly did not hurt," Stephanie said. "Well, I guess it hurt a little bit when my upper body fell to the floor, but that was it. How did you do that, anyway?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

"I'm good," Stephanie said quickly and nervously.

Elizabeth chuckled. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Elizabeth shifted her eyes around. "Or am I?" Stephanie looked nervous.

"She's kidding," Jennie said.

"Next up, it looks like Mallory for Team Amazon is ready," Bridgette said, as Mallory walked onto the stage.

"Could you dim the lights, please?" Mallory asked. The lights were turned down. "Thank you. Now, I'm sure you all know of a witch named Sab…err, Tabitha. Yes, the evil Tabitha, and how she wanted to conquer goodness, across the globe!" Lightning suddenly struck nearby, and loud thunder was heard almost instantly.

"Is it safe being outdoors?" George asked, getting nervous.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: That was actually kind of terrifying. I won't be sleeping tonight.

Katrina: (wiping a tear from her eye) Thank you, Mallory. That was really nice of you. I mean, there's no reason she should've been nice to me, really, but she was so going to use Sabrina instead of Tabitha at first. The whole Sabrina thing is a really sore spot for me. (Katrina nervously rubs her arm.) Worst TV show ever.

* * *

"And the lovely Endora rescued the bunny, and vanquished Tabitha to the depths of hell!" Mallory said. "Unfortunately, Endora had never learned how Tabitha had escaped in the first place, and she still made the pancakes for breakfast every Saturday morning." Mallory curtseyed to the audience. "Thank you."

Katrina and Danielle clapped at cheered, but almost everyone else looked pale and expressionless.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (in a fetal position, sucking his thumb)

Stephanie: (wide-eyed) Mallory scares me.

Alyssa: That was really cool! I love ghost stories, and that was… pretty terrifying, actually. But still, really nice!

Margo: That was hilarious! Ooh, the dismembered arm was, like, sooo hilarious! She'd be a great comedy writer!

Charlotte: (shivering) So… horrible.

* * *

"And Mallory, I'm afraid you only earned your team thirty-four points," Bridgette said. "I think you deserved better, but I'm not voting. But your team is in first place, with ninety-six points!"

"Well, you did good," Rachel said to Mallory. "Kind of. I mean, I don't know if I'll get any sleep tonight, but it did its job in making me a nervous wreck."

"If that's a compliment, thank you," Mallory said, smiling bright.

"It was," Rachel said. "I meant that in a nice way… or tried to make it nice. It was hard, OK?"

Mallory smiled even brighter. "It's OK!" Mallory hugged Rachel, who looked a bit uncomfortable, but didn't fight it.

"I like seeing you two getting along better," Katrina said.

"Next up, Team Himalayas again," Bridgette said. "Will it be Ophelia or George?"

George sighed. "Might as well get this over with."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Rooms**

Danielle: It's kind of funny. You'd think a blind person would have the world's greatest singing voice to make up for the whole being blind thing, but George's voice was just so… well, average. I mean, I'm sure Danielle really loves it, but I'm not sure that's going to be our team's secret weapon.

Xuxa: You know, I kind of picture George as the old dancing man singing that song. I mean, I guess dancing might be a little hard when you don't know where the edge of the stage is, but it just would've felt so right.

* * *

"So if you like to party, get on and move your body, the Vengabus is coming!" George sang, then smiled, and got some applause.

Ophelia walked up to the stage and helped George back to his seat. "Good try," Ophelia said.

George sighed. "Does that mean I was bad."

"No, no," Ophelia said nervously. "You were OK."

"But not great," George said.

"Well… no, not great," Ophelia said, rubbing her arm nervously.

George chuckled. "It's OK, I know." Ophelia made a face and stuck out her tongue.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alexis: It was OK. Not great, really… kind of hate to be mean, though. I mean, he wasn't singing off-key, or anything. He just didn't have the greatest singing voice. Guess I have to be fair, though.

Charlotte: I really liked it. I'm not a super singer either, but he was still having fun up there.

* * *

Bridgette smiled as she opened the envelope on the stage. "George, you have earned forty points for your team, and Team Himalayas takes the lead with one hundred eight points!"

Danielle grabbed George's shoulders and violently shook him. "Did you hear that? We might finally win! We can actually win this!"

Ophelia glanced nervously at her teammates. "I hope…."

"Veronica, you're up!" Bridgette said. "Team Moon, you're in last place right now, so Veronica, you need at least eleven points to stay in this."

"So we are good so long as you do not completely blow it," Stephanie said to Veronica, then put a scowl on her face. "Do not blow this!"

Veronica sighed. "If I do blow it, you could just vote me out. I'd deserve it, after all."

"I like her thinking!" Todd exclaimed. "I mean, we wouldn't want to hurt her feelings by going against her wishes, and all."

Stephanie glared at Todd, then turned to smile at Veronica. "You can do this." Veronica nodded, then nervously walked to the stage, and began singing. "Quando sono solo sogno all'orizzonte e mancan le parole."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that our team has more talent in our whole beings than the other teams have combined, and we do so deserve to win! Opera! How can one possibly do better than something as wondrous as opera! Veronica was beautiful out there, and she really should not have been so nervous.

* * *

"Io con te!" Veronica belted out. Veronica's eyes were shining as the audience broke out into thunderous applause. "Thank you," Veronica said shyly, blushing.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (slapping his face) Eww, eww, eww, I actually liked that! And I hate that I liked that! I really hope Veronica did not see me applauding her. She had me brainwashed, though, and I was forced to, I swear!

Veronica: (blushing, looking down) I don't really think I was that good, but everyone kept telling me how awesome I was out there. Even Stephanie, and she's never nice. I don't know, though… maybe I was a little bit better than George was.

Alyssa: I know who's making the culture section of my next paper!

* * *

"Congratulations, Veronica!" Bridgette exclaimed from on the stage. "You've earned sixty-five points for that, and your team has a grand total of one hundred fifty points!"

"Only sixty-five?" Stephanie yelled, looking enraged, and was about to storm the stage, though Veronica held her back.

"Sixty-five is good, really," Veronica said.

"That stuck-up bitch got sixty-eight!" Stephanie yelled, pointing at Danielle. "All she did was sing a pop song!"

"I'm stuck up?" Danielle asked, confused for a moment. "Oh yeah, I'm in the Danielle body still, kind of forgot."

Ophelia sighed. "I'm glad that's how I'm going to be remembered."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Veronica, you got robbed. I cannot believe those worthless judges would dare do that to you. And Jennie too, for that matter, really. They just do not appreciate good art.

* * *

"Next up is Katrina," Bridgette said, while Katrina walked up to the stage with her small computer. "So, is your talent computers?"

"Yes, actually," Katrina said, smiling bright. "I'm a bit of a technophile, really. Kind of geeky, but I love it! Please turn down the lights for this." The lights went down, and Katrina sat down on the stage, then cracked her knuckles and smirked. "Prepare to be dazzled!" Katrina aimed her computer toward the back of the stage, where a lot of colorful lights flashed.

"That's kind of pretty," Elizabeth said.

"That kind of sucks, it is just a typical, unimpressive light show," Stephanie griped.

Katrina grinned. "Oh, I'm just getting started." Katrina typed a few more things on her computer, and suddenly the audience was emerged in a rainbow-colored roller coaster ride against a starry night. An illusion, but one that felt real to everyone. And almost everyone started screaming.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: (looking kind of green) OK, that was not a typical light show, but how I wish it was. (Stephanie looks like she's about to vomit, then hurries out of the room.)

Nicole: That was awesome! I love roller coasters, I loved the skiing, the Pizza Hut… well, actually, that part felt like product placement more than anything else. I'm guessing her family must have a deal with Pizza Hut, or something.

Margo: It was so much fun, the dizzying, thrilling adventures of Katrina's computer! Katrina has an awesome computer!

* * *

Bridgette smiled bright as she opened the envelope. "And Katrina got fifty-eight points for her illusion of the senses! Team Amazon has one hundred fifty-three points and is guaranteed to be safe tonight! And I'd love one of those computers."

"They aren't for sale yet, and it's pretty tricky to do all that stuff," Katrina said, blushing. "You probably wouldn't be able to pull that off."

"You were great, though!" Rachel exclaimed. "That was really good."

"Thank you!" Katrina exclaimed, then hugged Rachel.

"That was pretty fun, really," Mallory said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory: I see Katrina is still a computer whiz. I'd almost swear that she taught herself as a means of torturing me back in the day, somehow able to pose as me without having to actually hack into any accounts I had. But I guess it is nice to see her use her talents for better purposes now, at least.

* * *

"And last, but hopefully not least, we have Ophelia," Bridgette said. "Ophelia, you need at least forty-two points here to tie Team Moon. Any less than that and your team is leaving tonight, and to be honest, I really don't want your team to lose again."

"I'll try," Ophelia said, then nervously made her way to the stage. "So, Frank, can you write me a win here?"

"What is she doing?" Jennie asked, confused.

"I have no idea," Stephanie said, looking like she was in shock.

Ophelia nervously looked to the sky. "Come on, just write something like 'Danielle did something so amazing, that everyone loved it and she got seventy points,' or something!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: As best I could tell, Ophelia's talent is breaking the fourth wall, but it wasn't working! Urgh, why wasn't it working?  
Frank: It was working. I just didn't feel like cheating for you.  
Ophelia: You just suck, then. (Ophelia sticks out her tongue.)

* * *

Ophelia was sweating and playing with her shirt collar. "Um, I can do this?" Ophelia stuck out her tongue and touched her nose with it. "Tah-dah?" The audience was silent, except for a cricket chirping.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (crying) I'm a failure! A complete and utter failure! I'm so useless in this body!  
Danielle: (hugging Ophelia) No, you're not. You just need to learn what my talents are. (Danielle taps her chin.) And frankly, so do I.

* * *

Bridgette sighed as she opened the envelope, and Izzy was standing next to her. "Ophelia, I'm sorry to say, but you got eleven points, and only one hundred nineteen points total. Team Amazon, you're the big winners, and Team Himalayas, I'm sorry to say that, once more, you will be voting someone off tonight."

"See you soon!" Izzy exclaimed, waving wildly to Team Himalayas. Ophelia looked like she was on the verge of crying. Danielle comforted her.

Stephanie sighed. "We deserved first place."

"We still don't have to vote anyone off, though," Veronica said.

"But we deserved first place," Stephanie said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: We lost. Again. (Danielle sighed.) Why is the world so against me? What did I ever do wrong?

* * *

Danielle, George, and Ophelia were walking through the forest around sunset. "I guess we lost again, huh?" Danielle asked, then sniffled.

"I'm afraid so," George said.

Danielle smiled. "Well, since there's a really good chance one of us is going tonight, I wanted to do this first." Danielle pulled George close and tried kissing him passionately, though George pushed away quickly.

Ophelia gasped. "Ophelia, what are you doing?" Ophelia started to sniffle, then started crying. "I can't believe you'd betray me like that!"

"I can't either," George said. "I'm afraid she tried that a few times earlier, too. I'm sorry, Danielle-I mean, the Danielle in Ophelia's body. I didn't want Ophelia in your body to kiss me."

Danielle started laughing, and teared up slightly as she put a hand on George's shoulder. "I'm Danielle. The real Danielle!"

"We never really switched bodies," Ophelia stated, then licked her hand. "I just thought pretending we had switched bodies would be a fun way to get Danielle out of her slump!"

"It worked, too!" Danielle exclaimed, stretching her hands together in front of her body. "Ophelia thought I might have fun if I had an excuse to lighten up, and it worked!" Danielle pulled George closer again, and looked at George seductively. "I'd still like that kiss."

"Well," George started, put Danielle had locked lips with his, and George soon got comfortable, and was kissing back.

Ophelia sniffled, then wiped her eye. "This is so sweet! Or it would be if I weren't a hundred percent sure I'd be leaving tonight, but for now-" Ophelia took out a camera and snapped a Polaroid of the two. Ophelia took out the picture, and looked at it, smiling. "Good memories, good memories."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Ophelia: (wiping her hands together) My work here is done. Probably literally, since I don't really think I have much chance of staying after tonight.

* * *

"I'm really going to miss one of you tonight," Danielle said, sniffling. "I guess I'll still have one of you, anyway."

"Unless you leave tonight, of course," Ophelia said, grinning.

"Yeah, that's not happening," Danielle said. "You're going to vote for George, George is going to vote for you, and I'll be the swing vote. And I'm actually not looking forward to deciding who leaves this time." Danielle sat down on a nearby rock, then leaned her head on her hands, being propped up by her elbows on her knees, and sighed. "You guys are really great. It's so weird, having people who like me."

"I thought everyone liked you," George said. "I mean, you seemed perfect, and probably beautiful if I could see you, and-"

"That was a lie," Danielle said. "My life is a lie! My getting on this show is a lie!"

"What do you mean?" George asked.

"Are you really this ugly alien monster from Alpha Centauri?" Ophelia asked excitedly.

"What, no!" Danielle shouted, then stomped her foot. "I'm serious! I don't have a perfect life. In fact, I have a miserable life! I don't have parents, as far as I know. I don't have a home, and that I definitely do know! And that's made it hard to fake having an address to get in school, let me tell you!"

"Wait, what?" Ophelia asked. "You didn't have anything?"

"No," Danielle said, crying. "Even for my audition tape, I stole the camera, stole the tape, and broke into someone's expensive, beautiful home to tape that!"

"You're-" George said, sounding confused. "Really?"

"Awful girl deserved it, though," Danielle said, then sneered. Then chuckled. "It's actually kind of funny how some girls wish they had my skinny body, though."

"And that's not your choice, is it?" Ophelia asked.

"No," Danielle said, shaking her head. "I'm skinny because I'm usually starving! So not fun!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: (wiping a tear from his eye) You know, I really can't say I'd have guessed. I really figured she was rich, and spoiled, and… you know, I'm actually kind of surprised someone in her position would act like she was, really. Kind of throws you for a loop.

Ophelia: (crying her eyes out) Poor Danielle. (Ophelia raises her hands, which are cutting an onion.) Poor my eyes.

* * *

"Could you stop playing with my face?" Danielle asked, while Ophelia was mushing Danielle's face around.

"Oh, sure!" Ophelia said, while still playing with Danielle's face.

"That meant stop playing with it now," Danielle said, a bit irritated.

"Ooh, right," Ophelia said, chuckling nervously as she backed away slightly. "I think that's why I don't have many friends."

"Because you play with their faces constantly?" Danielle asked.

"No, silly!" Ophelia said, then put her hand through Danielle's head. Then she looked around suspiciously, and cupped her hand around her mouth. "Believe it or not, I tend to get on people's nerves."

"You don't say," Danielle said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure she said that," George said. "I heard her, too." Danielle slapped her own face in frustration.

"Yeah, it turns out that not everyone enjoys having a bucket of pig's blood dropped on them," Ophelia said, shifting her eyes back and forth. "Tends to make some people go crazy."

"Please don't tell me you actually did that," Danielle said nervously.

"Oh, no, of course not!" Ophelia exclaimed. "My BFF Jewel did it to me at prom." Ophelia sat down on the ground, then started crying. "I couldn't believe she did that."

Danielle sniffled, then put a hand on Ophelia's shoulder. "That's horrible."

"Um, what?" Ophelia asked, looking confused.

"That your best friend would do that to you," Danielle said, then glomped Ophelia. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"And that's why she's irreplaceable as my best friend," Ophelia said, smiling. "No one else I know would do something so sweet for me!"

"Wait, what?" Danielle asked, contorting her face in confusion.

"I can't believe she'd go through all that work to do something so sweet!" Ophelia said, hugging herself. Then she shook a fist at no one in particular. "So much fun threatening to go Carrie on all my haters! Mwahahahaha!"

"OK, that's a bit disturbing," George said.

Danielle shrugged. "Sounds kind of fun, really."

"I've infected you, I see," Ophelia said, narrowing her eyes toward Danielle. "I knew there was a fun Danielle dying to get out of that grumpy, stuffy Danielle we all knew and loved!"

"Thank you," Danielle said, nervously looking down at her feet. "I wish more people thought I was as special as I wish I were."

"You've just got a lot of flaws," George said. "I wouldn't really like you if I thought you were horrible."

"You two are so forgiving," Danielle said, then glomped George, then gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You really are beautiful, you know," George said, smiling.

"But you can't even see me," Danielle pouted. "You can't appreciate how stunningly perfect I look!"

"Don't have to," George said. "I know you're beautiful. I can sense it. I do have those weird blind person super powers, after all!"

Danielle giggled. "Oh yeah, those. Well, I must inform you that you are one hundred percent correct, naturally."

"Glad to see you've still got that huge ego," Ophelia said, laughing a bit.

"Well, of course! I mean, I am perfect, after all," Danielle said, putting her hand on her chest.

"And you'll apologize to Isis, right?" George asked.

"But she was mean to me," Danielle complained. "I mean, I guess I was kind of mean to her, too, but she was also mean to me!"

"Then just apologize for being mean to her," George said. "Be the bigger person."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I don't really remember Isis doing anything but defend herself against Danielle, though. I'm not really sure why Danielle butt heads with Isis like that.

* * *

Danielle tapped her chin. "You know, that's a good point! I could be all 'I'm sorry I did all those mean things,' and she'll be all angry because I dared to apologize, and everyone will love me and hate her!" Danielle started rubbing her hands together.

"Um, yeah," George said. "What about Katrina?"

"She's evil, so no," Danielle stated, somewhat annoyed.

"But didn't you try to pretend she had beaten you up?" George asked.

"I did that to protect Mallory," Danielle said, not looking happy. "She really needs me, and since everyone else has fallen for all of Katrina's lies hook, line, and sinker, it's up to me to help Mallory!"

"She seems pretty nice," George said.

Danielle slapped her own face in frustration. "I thought blind people were supposed to be like human lie detectors."

"Um, no?" George asked, confused. "Why did you think that?"

"Aww, come on, Georgie!" Ophelia exclaimed, pinching George's cheek. "You've got to let her have at least one enemy here!"

"I think she has a lot of enemies here," George said.

"But Katrina is evil!" Danielle exclaimed. "Like, really evil, not like me-evil."

"It's nice to see you haven't changed that much," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes as she approached the trio. "You really need to vote. The bonfire ceremony is soon." Bridgette started walking off, then paused, turned back around, and smiled. "Hey, you have your own bodies again, don't you?"

"Yep!" Ophelia exclaimed, hopping around Bridgette. "It was all pretend, to try to cheer Danielle up." Ophelia stopped, and whispered loudly in Bridgette's ear. "She was in kind of a funk."

"Um… that's good," Bridgette said, a bit lost, but just shrugged.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I'm sorry, Ophelia, but I'm kind of close to Danielle.

Ophelia: I'm sorry, George, but I'm not voting off my BFF! (Ophelia raises a fist.) And if she knows what's good for her, she'll choose her BFF over her BF! (Ophelia lowers her fist, then giggles.) Or not, I'll understand. But seriously, still hope she keeps me.

Danielle: Ugh, I really hate this. I mean, we're the perfect team, now. I didn't really like everyone else we've kicked out-no offense, Candice… um, except I guess it was offensive, so yes offense, but I'm sorry, Candice, I want to be nicer-but I'm getting off track. I like George, like really like him, but Ophelia's my girlfriend, and I can't just vote her off. But one of them has to leave, and ugh, I hate this!

* * *

George, Ophelia, and Danielle were nervously sitting in three recliners set out around the campfire that night, while Izzy was standing behind her podium, with Bridgette standing next to her, holding out a plate with two alphabet blocks on it. "Well, your team lost again."

"Which was not my fault," Danielle said, raising a finger.

"Actually, it kind of was," Bridgette said. "You did kind of put yourself in this position, where you didn't have any other options but to use George and Ophelia for the talent show."

"Please don't insult them," Danielle said, looking guilty as she twiddled her fingers. "That's not really their fault."

"You're right, it's not," Bridgette said.

"Anyway, regardless of why, how, who, table, faucet, or green, one of you will have to leave us tonight," Izzy said solemnly. "The one of you who does not receive an alphabet block will immediately be forced to leave the island, against their will, kicking and screaming bloody murder, and they will never come back. Ever. Unless they do."

"Sounds fun!" Ophelia exclaimed.

"Oh, it is," Izzy said. "But you're still a loser. Anyway, if I call out your name, come up and receive your alphabet block. Danielle, you are safe."

Danielle nervously shrugged, then walked up to receive her block from Bridgette. "I kind of figured that." Danielle looked nervously toward George and Ophelia.

"George. Ophelia," Izzy said. "One of you two is safe. The other is not. And the final alphabet block goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"It's a tie."

"A tie?" George asked, confused. "How?"

Ophelia smirked. "Danielle voted for Katrina, didn't she?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: So ultimately, I here forth decree… I'm not voting for either of them. It might not count, but I'm voting for Katrina anyway! Seriously, Mallory, be careful, please!

* * *

Izzy blinked, then shrugged it off. "Anyway, we had to break that little tie, and Xuxa was randomly selected to break that tie."

Danielle started to cry, then walked over to George. "I know where this is headed, and I'm sorry." Danielle hugged George, then gave him a little kiss on his nose. Then a more passionate kiss with him, then she let go. "I'm ready."

"Wait, you don't think Xuxa would've voted for me?" George asked.

"Pretty sure not," Danielle said. "She and Ophelia are kind of friends, so I'd be surprised if-"

"George is safe," Izzy said, then pushed a button on her remote.

Ophelia's eyes grew wide. "Wait, what?" Ophelia screamed as she was hurled high into the sky.

Danielle blinked. "Um, OK. What just happened?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: Ophelia, I'm sorry to do this to your body, but Danielle is such an awful girl, and she's trapped in your body, but I don't care if you're stuck in Danielle's body! We're still friends, right?

* * *

"Well… I'm glad you're still here, at least," Danielle said to George.

"I'm glad I'm still here too?" George asked.

"That was fun!" Ophelia exclaimed, sitting in her recliner as if she'd never left it. "I want to do that again!"

Izzy blinked. "Uh, OK." Izzy shrugged, then pushed the button on her remote again, sending Ophelia hurling through the air a second time, while she was making a weird chanting noise through her trip through the air.

"That was weird," Bridgette said.

"Well, Ophelia's weird," Izzy said. "I'll miss her. I like weird."

"Again!" Ophelia exclaimed, sitting in her recliner again.

Izzy sighed. "OK, but this is the last time."

"That's OK!" Ophelia exclaimed, then grabbed Danielle and put Danielle in her lap.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Danielle shouted. "No! No!" Izzy pressed the button on her remote, sending Ophelia and Danielle both high into the sky. Ophelia was laughing giddily, while Danielle was screaming for dear life, until they both smashed into the lake.

Ophelia surfaced first. "That was fun!"

Danielle surfaced soon after, and spit water from her mouth. "That was horrible! Don't do that again!"

Ophelia shrugged. "I can't do that again." Ophelia hugged Danielle. "I just wanted to have one last fun moment with my BFF."

"Oh," Danielle said, looking embarrassed. "Well, thank you. I guess."

"I'll miss you!" Ophelia said, then dove under the lake, while Danielle was treading water, waiting a few minutes before swimming to land.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (sniffles) I'm really going to miss Ophelia.  
George: (patting Danielle's shoulder) I know.  
Danielle: She was just so genki and annoying and so nice and fun!  
George: What's genki?

* * *

Heather was looking at a television screen in Izzy's trailer, with a look of shock on her face. "It's her?"

Leshawna was standing behind Heather, and put a hand on her shoulder. "Looks like it, hon. Seemed to go through a lot of effort to cover her tracks. Not enough, though, 'cause we caught her!"

"This can't be right," Heather said, pounding her fist on the desk. "It has to be Katrina! It's definitely Katrina!"

Leshawna shook her head. "It's not. Look, I really don't want you to do what I did last season and do something you'll regret."

Heather rest her head in her hands. "This isn't right."

* * *

**Votes**

Danielle: Katrina  
George: Ophelia  
Ophelia: George  
Tiebreaker (Xuxa): Ophelia

Ophelia: 2  
George: 1  
Katrina: 1 (didn't count)

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Danielle, George  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis, Ulysses, Yancy, Percy, Bob, Ophelia

* * *

I loved Ophelia, and I loved writing for Ophelia. I hate voting her off, but I had to. Her main story was getting Danielle to stop being so Danielle-ish, and to start having fun and not being so horrible. And get her out of her funk she was in, and she has done just that. She wound up with a bigger role than I'd planned for her originally, mostly since I really loved writing for her.

She may have been the overall most beloved character in the story by everyone. I'll miss her, too. We'll see her in a couple of chapters, at least.


	24. Day 12, Part 1: Georgie on My Mind

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 24: Day 12: Part 1: Georgie on My Mind**

"Having fun, Danielle?" George asked, as he and Danielle were walking alongside the lake that night, holding hands.

"Oh, yes," Danielle said. "Such a beautiful night. It's really too bad you can't see it."

"Walking with you here is nice enough," George said. "You know, on one hand, I don't really mind not seeing what you're seeing, since I have no concept of sight, and really don't know what I'm missing, but on the other hand, you're making it sound so good."

Danielle sighed. "Well, it was nice until you put that in my head."

"No, no, I didn't mean for you to stop enjoying it!" George exclaimed. "Take it all in, make your optical sense happy!"

Danielle giggled. "You're funny sometimes."

"I try," George said. "Who ever thought that you'd be so happy with a cripple like me?"

Danielle cringed. "I'm really sorry about that. I was wrong. Even if it was accurate. You didn't like it."

"All is forgiven," George said.

Danielle sighed. "You know, I can't do this tomorrow. I can't let anyone see my vulnerable."

"But you did today," George said. "Everyone thought you were Ophelia."

"But that's just it," Danielle said. "I got away with it **because **everyone thought I was Ophelia. Unless I pretend that we never got switched back, then I… um, you know, that's not a bad idea." Danielle started stroking her chin.

"So no one can ever see the real you," George said.

"That Danielle is the real me," Danielle said. "Well, a part of me. I have this need to be perfect, which I'm anything but. And I need everyone else to believe that I'm perfect. Even though they don't believe that. My real life is such a wreck. I have to put on that front."

"And then that front becomes real," George said.

"Well, yes," Danielle said. "That's me, now. Sweet little vulnerable Danielle isn't really me. It's not something that's ever worked for me. At least, not until you and Ophelia, and I really miss her! She drove me nuts, and I miss her!" Danielle started crying. "She was sort of my own manic pixie dream girl, except for me being a girl, and no falling in love."

"Where do you pick up all that weird lingo from?" George asked.

Danielle rolled her eyes. "You seriously don't know what that is."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: I'm not sure why Danielle thinks anyone would get those references she makes.  
Izzy: (shaking her head) Fan myopia. Danielle's got a bad case of it.  
Bridgette: (blinking, confused) OK, now I have no idea what **that **is.

* * *

"You probably had a hard life too, huh?" Danielle asked, sitting by the side of the lake with George.

George shrugged. "Not really.'

Danielle looked disbelieving. "But you're blind. It can't be that easy."

"It's not so bad," George said. "I can pretty much do everything you can do. Make breakfast, use a computer, drive a car, dial for pizza, contemplate the meaning of-"

"Wait, what, what?" Danielle shouted nervously.

"Oh, sure, I like to order myself a pizza every now and then," George said. "I like phones with actual buttons, personally. Lot easier to figure out than those touch screen phones."

Danielle shook her head frantically. "No, no, no, drive? You drive?'

George laughed. "No, I'm not magic. Just wanted to see that you were paying attention. I'd probably kill someone if I tried to drive. And it'd probably be me."

Danielle laughed. "That's right, no driving for you, mister." Danielle smirked, then tackled George to the ground, and the two were laughing.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: It's really amazing, how George still likes me, even though I'm basically a bum. People don't like bums. They look down on bums. They like beautiful, perfect, rich girls, which, I guess the word's out, I am not. I'm not even a real blonde! My sister just had such pretty blonde hair, and I was jealous, so yeah. Had to have blonde hair myself. (Danielle plays with her hair.)

* * *

"So, what do you think of Rachel?" Nicole asked Katrina, as the two girls were sitting in front of Nicole's cabin. "I mean, she hasn't really been all that nice to me, but she seems to get along better with you."

Katrina shrugged. "I don't get it. I don't see what the big deal is that you like girls."

"She's not the only person like that," Nicole said.

"Sometimes I think she feels she has to put up a hardened front," Katrina said. "Get past that hard outer layer, and she's got a gooey creamy center."

Nicole smiled. "I can actually believe that. But I don't care much for that hardened outer layer, myself."

"I understand," Katrina said, with a huge smile on her face, and swayed her feet back and forth. "I'm happy with both of you. I wish I could hang out with you and her at the same time. That would be wonderful!"

"Totally," Hank said, walking past.

"**Go away!**" Katrina and Nicole shouted in unison. Katrina then took off one of her boots at threw it at Hank's head. Katrina then looked at her wrist. "Still got it."

"I really am getting tired of the creep," Nicole said. "Is Xuxa as annoying as she seems?"

"Sometimes," Katrina said. "Everyone can be annoying sometimes, though. Xuxa's just kind of really good at it. She's sweet, though."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: I wish Katrina were on my team. I mean, Stephanie, of all people, is the best person to hang with on my team, and I don't know how she's coming across in editing, but well… to put it mildly, she's somewhat bossy. (Nicole smiles nervously and holds her hands together in her lap.)

* * *

Izzy was riding on a grocery store carousel on the dock, yipping and howling as she spun around.

"Aren't you a little old to be riding on that?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes I am," Izzy said, then jumped off the carousel and pushed it into the water, revealing a bumper car behind it. "But I'm not too old for this! Vroom vroom!" Izzy immediately rammed the bumper car into a screaming Bridgette, who was knocked into the water. "Ha ha, that was fun! Anyway, last time on _Total Drama Alphabet, _everyone had to do like a talent show, and Team Himalayas lost again, and Ophelia went home because Xuxa thought she and Danielle switched bodies, or some junk."

Bridgette surfaced and spit out some water. "I hope Danielle's all right."

Izzy waved her hand dismissively to Bridgette. "She'll be fine, she's a trooper! Whether we want her to be or not." Izzy went wide-eyed, then ducked into her bumper car. A couple seconds later she emerged wearing army gear and a water gun. "Remember not to shoot until you see the whites of their eyes. 'Cause you get bonus points for an eye white shot! And they're so much tastier than the eye yolks."

"We're not shooting Danielle," Bridgette said sternly, glaring at Izzy.

"Who's talking about Danielle, I want eggs now!" Izzy exclaimed. "Anyway, we're going to have a lot of fun with today's challenge! Fun, fun, fun, fun! And it's coming up today, on _Total Drama Alphabet!" _Izzy looked around suspiciously, then produced an egg from her skirt, and threw it at Bridgette, though it didn't break.

"Izzy, stop throwing eggs," Bridgette scolded, still in the lake, rubbing her head where the egg hit.

Izzy scratched her head in thought, then slapped her knee. "Oh, yeah, I brought my hard-boiled eggs today. Those aren't really funny."

* * *

"You really should eat," George said, eating the greenish sludge in front of him in the morning, sitting beside Danielle, who was not.

"Don't wanna'," Danielle whined.

"I'm sure you have to eat things you don't like often," George said.

"Actually, I don't think I've ever had to force down anything quite like this," Danielle said, stabbing her fork into the sludge, then lifting the fork, which lifted the whole plate with it.

"It sounds like a visual demonstration on how horrible this food is," George said. "That's not going to convince me very well." Danielle stuck her tongue out at George.

"Ophelia!" Xuxa exclaimed as she entered the dining room, and immediately glomped Danielle. "Now we can be BFFs, and you can get rid of that awful, mean, Danielle, and we can talk about things like being cool, and-"

"Are you an idiot?" Danielle asked. "I'm Danielle."

"Um, no, you're Ophelia," Xuxa said. "I remembered that whole switching bodies thing, and how you two couldn't return back to your regular bodies, so I'm-"

"Never mind, you clearly are that stupid," Danielle said. "We never switched bodies! I'm Danielle! The real Danielle!" Danielle was immediately hit in the head with a plate thrown at her, which broke the plate.

"Do not talk about Xuxa that way!" Rachel shouted angrily, dusting off her hands.

"Aww, you really do like me!" Xuxa exclaimed, clasping her hands together.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Rachel complained.

"How about not whacking my girlfriend like that?" George asked, irritated.

"How about you shut up or we'll see how well you can dodge what you can't see coming," Rachel said, growing more irritated.

"Shutting up now," George said, smiling nervously.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: So Ophelia got voted off because Xuxa's an idiot. (Danielle spins her finger in the air.) Woo-hoo.

* * *

"You're terrible!" Jennie shouted at Stephanie, who was spreading butter on a slice of toast.

"I have my doubts that this is even real butter, so I do doubt any actual milk is in this," Stephanie muttered.

"And the bread is made with flour," Jennie asked. "Everything about you is terrible!"

"I'm having toast, too," Nicole said, irritated.

"This isn't about you, don't butt in here," Jennie said, growing more irritated, shoving a hand toward Nicole.

"She can butt in if she wants to butt in!" Stephanie shouted. "You cannot force her to do otherwise!"

"Stephanie's right," Hank said, sitting nearby.

"No one wants you to butt in, either," Jennie said.

"Yeah, go away," Stephanie said.

"I was taking up for you, though," Hank said, looking hurt.

"That's Jennie's advantage, really," Nicole said, while sipping from a mug of coffee.

"Yes, but it's not worth it," Jennie said.

Hank gulped. "But I was just-"

"Go away!" Stephanie and Jennie shouted simultaneously.

"Nice that you two can agree on something," Nicole said, not even looking up as she was drinking her coffee.

"Don't remind me," Jennie said, sneering.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: Hank does not take a hint. Apparently, he believes that if he keeps harassing us, and whining about being such a "nice guy"-gag me-that one of us will eventually be annoyed enough to take pity on him, never mind that even if he were a generally nice guy, I wouldn't be interested, or that Stephanie just plain isn't interested in anyone at all.

Hank: I don't get it. I just don't get it. I'm nice. Why don't any girls like me? I thought maybe George might have the answer, since he's nice, I'm nice… it seemed like a good idea.

* * *

"Hey, George," Hank said, walking over to George and Danielle.

"Eww, go away," Danielle said.

"I wasn't really talking to you," Hank said.

Danielle hid behind George nervously. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

George sighed. "Hank, go away."

Hank spoke up. "But I just wanted to ask-"

"Go away," George spoke sternly. Hank sighed, then walked away. Danielle perked up and kissed George on the cheek, then started massaging him.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Yeah, I don't care if anyone thinks I'm a bitch for that, and I know they will, because everyone watching is going to be like "hey, it's Danielle, and she's just a heartless cruel bitch, so if she does something, the opposite is good and true, durr!" (Danielle crosses her eyes and sticks out her tongue.) Don't care. I despise the Nice Guy™. Probably even more selfish than I could be. (Danielle giggles.) Yes, I know, I'm really selfish.

George: I tire of Hank. All day, every day, it's "wah, girls don't like me, even though I'm super nice." With such a winning personality, it's anyone's guess why he can't find a girl who likes him. (George taps on his knee for a moment.) I think I need to work on my sarcasm. Not sure if that came out that way.

Xuxa: (pouting) I don't see why Danielle gets to have a boyfriend? She's mean! If she has a boyfriend, I deserve one, too!

* * *

Hank walked out of the dining room, looking dejected.

"Aww, everyone's kinda' mean to him," Xuxa said, spreading jelly on a biscuit.

"And he deserves it," Rachel stated, cutting a piece of omelette.

"Aww, but he just needs to find a nice girl," Xuxa said. "I'm free. Maybe I should take pity on him."

"You're going to regret that," Katrina warned. "Stay away. Far, far away."

"You took pity on that what's-his-name kid," Xuxa said.

"You mean Zack," Katrina said. "Zack isn't a jerk."

"Perhaps a bit too naïve for his own good, though," Mallory said, glaring at Katrina, then turned to Xuxa, and put her hand on Xuxa's arm. "But really, Hank is bad. Not Katrina-level bad, but bad."

"You can stop reminding us of how awful Katrina was any time now," Rachel said, then sipped some coffee.

"It's OK, really," Katrina said, then chuckled nervously. "I deserve it."

"She does," Mallory said.

"Besides, we're friends now," Katrina said, putting an arm around Mallory.

"Friend-ish, anyway," Mallory replied.

"If I may interject," Alistair interjected, "I do think the two of you would make a dandy couple."

Mallory blinked. "Alistair, I know you mean well, but you need to take this from a girl, no, they wouldn't work."

Alistair feigned embarrassment, and put his hand over his mouth. "Oh, my, so sorry, my lady. I only wanted to be of service."

"It's OK," Mallory said, smiling. "You were trying to help."

"I'm doubting that," Rachel said to herself.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Alistair: (lighting his pipe) Those two really would be perfect for each other. The fat obnoxious girl everyone hates, and the wimpy sexist boy everyone hates. I really should charge them for my relationship expertise, but alas, I am sometimes too nice for my own good.

Rachel: (crossing her arms over her chest, frustratedly tapping on her arm) Like I don't know what Alistair was doing there. I know he's not that stupid, and I know that he knows how Xuxa is more than just a little bit naïve. Last thing she needs is someone like Hank.

* * *

"Xuxa, you're too good for him," Rachel said, putting her hand where she thought Xuxa's arm was. "Well, maybe not, but I want you to have better, any… wait," Rachel said, noticing that she was holding Katrina's arm instead, who looked confused herself. "Where's Xuxa?"

"I think she left," Katrina said. "I didn't really see her leave. I think she's practiced in the way of the ninja. Ninja do things like that, right?" Rachel slapped her own face in frustration.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (rolling her eyes) And, of course, Katrina's not exactly all there, either. Still knows better than to associate herself with Hank, at least.

Katrina: (holding her hands together in her lap) I've always wanted to master that whole moving around in secret thing, being in two places at once thing, ninja move thing! (Katrina leaps from her seat and lands in a stereotypical ninja pose in front of it.) Yah! (After a few seconds, Katrina gets out of her pose and taps her chin, looking up to the ceiling.) Actually, I guess a real ninja would be quieter than that.

* * *

Hank was sitting at the campfire area, holding his head up with his hands, looking to the ground, crying.

"What'cha doin'?" Xuxa asked, appearing instantaneously behind Hank, startling him, having him fall off his seat to the ground.

"Falling," Hank said. "Hurting."

"Aww, I don't want you hurting," Xuxa said, picking Hank up off the ground, dusting him off. "I don't like seeing hurting."

"Well, that makes one person," Hank said, standing up. "You're Xuxa, right?"

"Eeeiii!" Xuxa squeed, then glomped Hank. "You know my name!"

"You're suffocating me," Hank let out. Xuxa then nervously let him go, and he fell back to the ground.

"Sorry," Xuxa said, smiling nervously.

"You're talking to me," Hank said, smiling.

"Of course," Xuxa said, proudly putting her hand to her chest. "Sometimes the popular girls need to reach down and be accepting of the undergrowth of society."

"Undergrowth?" Hank asked.

"Yes, yes," Xuxa said, hitting Hank on the head with a magic wand she produced from inside her shirt.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: Um, Xuxa, you're fat. You're not exactly in high demand yourself.

Rachel: I am going to kill Hank for making that snide comment about Xuxa's weight. Because I'm almost positive that he's made one in one of his confessionals, if not all of them. (Rachel crosses her arms over her chest.) Only I'm allowed to make fun of her weight.

* * *

"I don't get why girls don't like me," Hank said.

"Oh, there's reasons," Xuxa said. "But after Frederique was so horrible to me, I need me some low-hanging fruit."

"And I'm the low-hanging fruit," Hank said.

"Oh, yes!" Xuxa exclaimed. "But I really do feel sorry for you, still, and I want a boyfriend, so-"

"Boyfriend?" Hank asked, his face perking up.

"Oh, yes, I want one," Xuxa said, coyly looking away, circling her finger in the air. "I mean, if you want a girlfriend, I'm available."

Hank was sweating. "Yes, yes yes!"

"Eeeiii!" Xuxa squeed, then glomped Hank, and kissed him several times. "Yay, boyfriend! Aren't you lucky?" Hank looked like he couldn't breathe. "Well, come on, answer me! You're lucky, right?" Hank was turning blue. Xuxa sniffled. "Maybe you don't want to be my boyfriend, after all. Maybe everyone was right about you." Xuxa let Hank go and started bawling her eyes out.

Hank gasped for air for a few seconds. "No, I do, I do!"

Xuxa perked up and glomped Hank again. "Just messing with you! I knew you couldn't breathe. I just want you to know that I'll be the best girlfriend you've ever had!"

"And the only one," Hank said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: I don't even care if she's not really that pretty. She's desperate enough to see me as a real person, and I couldn't be happier! Well, unless Nicole turned straight. And actually noticed me.

Xuxa: Yay, I've got a boyfriend! This'll show all my classmates that I'm not a loser, that I can get a boyfriend, and by his own free will, even!

* * *

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Hank exclaimed, rushing back to his cabin. Though a hand pulled him back behind the cabin as he passed the side.

"So, you're going out with Xuxa now," Rachel said, sounding sinister. She was dressed in leather and fishnet stockings, holding a whip in her hand.

"That's a pretty hot outfit," Hank said, smirking. Rachel cracked the whip on Hank.

"Silence! This is not for your entertainment! I just brought this outfit here in case there were a situation that called for it."

"Do you have any other outfits?" Hank asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Rachel cracked the whip on him again.

"You do not ask that about your girlfriend's best friend!" Rachel barked. "Xuxa is an innocent girl. Annoying, but innocent." Rachel started playing with her whip. "Xuxa is my cub. If you hurt the cub, the mama bear gets upset." Rachel grabbed Hank's collar, and put his face to hers. "Am I making myself clear here?"

"You're kind of hot when you're scaring me like this," Hank said. Rachel threw Hank to the ground.

"You're not very smart, are you?" Rachel asked, glaring at Hank. "This is not a game. If you value your life, you will not hurt Xuxa."

"You hurt her a lot," Hank said.

"And I don't go easy on myself, either," Rachel said. "But you don't even like Xuxa."

"Yes I-"

"Save it," Rachel said, putting her hand over Hank's mouth. "I know boys. I loathe boys. I've seen all the tricks. Xuxa may be a little stupid, but that doesn't mean she should have to settle for a nothing like you."

Hank raised an eyebrow. "So you're a lesbo?"

Rachel angrily whipped Hank several times. "**I am not, you twit!**"

"OK, OK, sorry, ouch, stop it!" Hank cried out, curling up in defense.

"I do hope this meeting has been productive," Rachel said. "If you do anything to hurt Xuxa, I will hunt you down, and I will kill you."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: I feel bad for Xuxa. She's never going to find Mr. Perfect. The good guys are going to have a dozen girls to choose from, and they're going to overlook the annoying fat girl, and miss out on how nice and sweet she is in spite of that. And she's going to be desperate enough to fall for the first loser who's going to be desperate enough to use her. I wish I could help her more, really. She deserves better.

* * *

"All right, all right, all right!" Izzy exclaimed. "Today we're going to have fun! We're going to the Wawakanka amusement park!"

"Yay!" Danielle cheered, giddy. Most of the other contestants looked confused.

"Is that supposed to be a challenge?" Nicole asked, confused.

"Yes," Izzy said.

"Is the challenge to sabotage the rides and cause grave injury?" Todd asked, grinning.

"Um, no," Izzy said. "Do that and I'll try to find a clause to disqualify your team." Izzy tapped her chin. "Or more accurately, Courtney will."

"So, what's the challenge?" Rachel asked.

"To have fun!" Izzy exclaimed. "And you all had better have fun, because you will be watched. We are looking for certain qualifications. And the team that has the most fun, as we've defined it, wins!"

Bridgette turned to Izzy, lifting a finger. "I still think we should-"

"No one enjoys that, Bridgie," Izzy said, shaking her head as she put her hand on Bridgette's shoulder.

"Where is this amusement park, anyway?" Rachel asked condescendingly.

"Right here!" Izzy said, revealing that the whole amusement park was all around them.

"But that wasn't here a second ago!" Rachel shouted, freaked out a bit.

"The two ten-year-old boys I hired work fast," Izzy said. Leshawna hurried over to Izzy and whispered something to her. Izzy looked concerned, but nodded. "Well, it looks like Bridgette and I have some stuff to take care of, but for you all, have fun!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (squeezing George) Me and my Georgie will go on all the fun rides! The roller coaster, the upside-down looping roller coaster, the roller coaster that killed those people.  
George: (looking like he's going to puke) I hate roller coasters. I can't tell you how terrifying those are.  
Danielle: Well, there is that kiddy roller coaster, too.  
George: Unexpectedly falling through mid-air really, really is not my idea of a good time.  
Danielle: (pouting) Fine. (Danielle kisses George on the cheek.) I won't make you. (Danielle massages George's cheeks.)

* * *

"I'm surprised Heather isn't here," Bridgette said, holding a meeting at a room in the Playa' des Losers. "I thought she was big in finding out who that was."

"She's in a bit of denial," Leshawna said. "So desperately wanted to pin it on one person, and wasn't happy that she was wrong."

"Kind of like you did last season," Gwen said, standing beside Leshawna, smirking. Leshawna smiled nervously.

"Legally, yes, you can tell the contestants of your findings," Courtney said, sitting beside Bridgette, holding a stack of papers. "You can choose to keep quiet about it, like Chris probably would, but no, you can tell everyone if you wish to. Oh, and Gwen, you're a slut."

"I didn't mean to do anything!" Gwen said nervously.

"Can you please not call Gwen a slut?" Bridgette asked, glaring at Courtney.

"It'd probably make for better TV not to tell anyone," Izzy said, hanging from a light from the ceiling. "It'll be like 'ooh, I wonder who's trying to be a villainous villain!' and everyone will be trying to solve the mystery, and it'll be like so cool!"

"These people might be in danger, though," Bridgette said. "For their own safety, we should tell everyone."

Izzy blew some hair out of her face, though it almost immediately fell back into it. "Fine. We can tell. Still seems like it'd be more fun to keep it a secret, though."

"We don't want to be like Chris," Bridgette said. "We don't want to see anyone get hurt, or kidnapped, or anything that might scar these people for life. They deserve to know."

"Should we set something up?" Leshawna said. "I mean, I'd rather show everyone that we have proof, and we're not just trying to show any bias, or something like that."

"I think that would be a good idea," Bridgette said. "Let's show everyone just what kind of person she is."

"I don't think many people like her that much, anyway," Gwen said, shrugging.

"I know, but still, I didn't think she was that bad, either," Bridgette said. "They need to know just how dangerous she is."


	25. Day 12, Part 2: Karma Katrina

**Total Drama Alphabet**

**Chapter 25: Day 12: Part 2: Karma Katrina**

"**Yeah!**" Katrina screamed, as she went upside down in a roller coaster.

Rachel, sitting behind her, looked sick. "I don't know how you talked me into going on this horrid thing."

"**What?**" Katrina yelled. "I can't hear you!"

"I hate this," Rachel said, as the ride came to a stop on an incline. Rachel looked around scatteredly. "Why are we stopped? I don't see a place to get off here!"

"We're about to go backwards, so brace yourself!" Katrina shouted.

"Backwards?" Rachel shouted. "We're going backwards? Why didn't you warn me we'd be going backwards on this ride?"

"I didn't really think about it," Katrina said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (standing, with her eye twitching, dripping in what looks like vomit) OK, maybe I shouldn't try to force Rachel on more rides like that.

Rachel: (circling her finger on the arm of the chair) I'm sorry, Katrina. I really thought you'd be safe as long as I sat behind you. I didn't really count on the whole going backwards thing.

* * *

"Are you OK?" Rachel asked, concerned, following Katrina, who was seemed to be covered in vomit.

"I just need to clean myself off," Katrina said. "I'll be fine."

"Smile!" Danielle exclaimed, rushing in front of Katrina with an old fashioned Polaroid, and snapped a picture, then showed it to Katrina as it came out the camera. "Aww, it so fitting on you." Katrina's eye twitched, then she snatched the photo away, and angrily tore it to pieces. Danielle hmph'd. "A simple no thank you would've sufficed."

"Cut it out!" Rachel yelled, then shoved Danielle to the ground. "I feel bad enough without you trying to make me feel worse about that."

"I wasn't trying to make you feel worse," Danielle said.

"Well, you've got an awful way of making people feel bad without trying. If I were to buy that," Rachel said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: Danielle has issues. Everyone knows it. The most irritating one is how she seems to despise Katrina for no reason, though. I neither want nor need her so-called "help." (Rachel uses finger quotes.) Everyone would be better off if she'd just get hit by a truck.

Danielle: (crying, wiping her eye with her hand) I'm only trying to help Rachel. Why can't she see that?

* * *

"Please tell me you weren't tormenting Katrina," George said, as Danielle approached, then hugged and kissed George while popping her foot.

"I didn't do anything to anyone who didn't deserve it," Danielle said, then smiled coyly. "You know, I really wish you could see my smile."

"Was it devilish?" George asked.

Danielle let go of George and pouted. "I was very cute, I'll have you know."

"Well, of course," George said. "Still, you really ought to leave Katrina alone."

"Ooh, look, tunnel of love!" Danielle exclaimed, dragging George behind as she rushed off.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (seductively looking to the camera, with her pinky to her lips) My, my, what a lovely kisser George is. (Danielle giggles.) Not exactly great, but lovely.

* * *

"Ooh, look Hank, roller coaster!" Xuxa exclaimed. "That looks like fun!"

"Can't wait," Hank said. "Roller coasters are awesome!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: (cringing) I hate roller coasters, but I don't want to scare Xuxa away, exactly. If she likes roller coasters, I like roller coasters now.

* * *

"That was awesome!" Xuxa exclaimed, as she was getting out of her car, after the roller coaster came to a stop. Hank stepped out, collapsing to the ground. "Are you OK? You don't look good."

"Oh, no no, that was a blast," Hank said. "Couldn't have more fun if I tried. I wish I could do it again."

Xuxa gasped. "You're right! There's no line! We can do it again!" Xuxa clapped to herself, then excitedly plunked Hank back into the car, then Xuxa sat herself back down again. "Buckle up, 'cause here we go again!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Xuxa: It's kind of funny. Hank doesn't really look like he was enjoying the roller coaster, but he said he was having fun. I think he's just the kind of guy who's really excited, but just holds it all in. Men are like that, sometimes. It's too bad he didn't want to let out all of his emotion like me and scream for joy! Eeeiii!

Hank: (covering his ears in pain, looking woozy) I don't know how much more of Xuxa's screaming I can take. So horrible! And so close to death! She made me go on five more times! But, she didn't dump me, so I must be doing something right. (Hank smiles nervously.)

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to kiss?" George asked, slowly riding down the tunnel of love. Sitting next to him was a Danielle dummy. George took its hand. "It's OK, we don't have to overdo it. Just want to enjoy how nice it all looks, huh?" The Danielle dummy just sat there, doing nothing. "I understand, don't want to talk now, just free your mind." George chuckled to himself. "I guess you probably want me to shut up now too, huh?" The Danielle dummy flopped its head on George's shoulder. "Just want to cuddle, huh? I can do that."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I kind of had to put a dummy in my place in the tunnel of love. I had some stuff I needed to do. George seemed to fall for it, which actually kind of surprised me, but I'm not complaining.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to ride?" Katrina asked, sitting in the car of the roller coaster, with Rachel standing behind the gate.

"Positive," Rachel said. "I'll have far, far more fun watching, really."

Katrina shrugged. "Your loss." Katrina smiled wickedly and held on tight as the car started to move.

Rachel watched as Katrina slowly climbed the first hill, then violently dropped from the top, having to grab her hair band which almost got away from her. Rachel shortly after narrowed her eyes as she noticed someone on the track. "Danielle? What is she doing?" Danielle placed some dynamite on the track, then climbed down, holding a detonator box. Rachel's eyes widened, and she hurried over to Danielle. "**Stop!**" Rachel yelled, looking irate.

"Eep," Danielle eep'd, and quickly hit the plunger, blowing up part of the track. Which quickly fell on Danielle, knocking her to the ground. Danielle moaned in pain.

Rachel looked down at Danielle, then up at Katrina, looking scared. "**Katrina, watch out!**" Rachel then slapped her own face in frustration. "Lot of good that'll do."

"**What?**" Katrina yelled, but quickly saw the broken track shortly ahead. "**WHAT?**" Katrina panicked, as she started to try to get out of her restraints, then blinked. "Wait, that'll just make it worse." Katrina put on a football helmet and braced for impact, and the car flew off the track, through the sky, and crashed in the carousel, which Todd was riding at the time.

"I love you, Rarity," Todd said, patting the white horse he was riding on the head, but almost immediately after looked up, and saw the wrecked roller coaster car with Katrina in it right in front of him, with stars circling her head. "I mean, yes, I love the rarity of such a calamitous event such as this! Mwahahaha!" Todd then looked puzzled. "Just as I planned, sabotaging the roller coaster. Just kind of wish I'd gotten to it first." Todd shrugged. "Giddy up, Rarity!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: Don't judge me.

Katrina: (dizzily swaying back and forth, with stars circling her head) Ooh, stars! I wonder which one's the big dipper?

* * *

George was exiting the tunnel of love. Danielle quickly and quietly replaced the dummy with herself, then slid into George's arm. "That was nice," George said. "You were a little quiet, though."

"Yeah, just wanted to relax," Danielle said cheerfully.

"Or you weren't here at all," George said. "It almost felt like I was sitting next to a large stuffed doll this whole time."

Danielle nervously looked at George. "What-whatever are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about that you thought I wouldn't notice that suddenly, instead of skin, you were made of felt."

"Oh, that," Danielle said, nervously putting her hand behind her head. "Um… we can go through the tunnel again."

"Please don't tell me you did anything to Katrina."

"OK, I won't tell you that," Danielle said. "Though it would help if you don't question what I was doing."

George sighed. "Danielle-"

"She's evil!" Danielle complained, then crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm trying to help Rachel! If she weren't so stupid, she'd realize that!"

"And I suppose I'm also stupid for not realizing that," George said.

"Yes," Danielle said. "Yes you are, but I forgive you," Danielle said, cuddling with George. "We can't all be as perfect as I, though."

"You aren't perfect," George said.

"I know," Danielle said. "But I'm still closer to perfect than anyone else here."

"I don't even know about that," George said. Danielle stuck out her tongue. "Just please leave Katrina alone, OK?"

"Nope," Danielle said, smiling mischievously.

George sighed. "Can we at least enjoy the amusement park?"

Danielle smiled bright and nodded. "OK." Danielle leaned her head on George's shoulder. "Can we try the tunnel of love again?"

George pat Danielle's shoulder. "Sure."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

George: I don't know why Danielle won't get over it. Yes, Katrina stole her box on the first day here. Yes, it wasn't that nice, but really, it's not that big a deal, and I don't understand why Danielle can't just let that go.

* * *

"I haven't been to one of these places in years," Stephanie said, walking through the amusement park with Nicole and Veronica. "Just always seemed like a waste of time."

"Having fun isn't a waste of time," Nicole said. "It's, well, fun!"

"But then it's over, and you're back to your original miserable existence," Veronica said, then sighed. "So in the end, it doesn't really solve anything."

"Oh, just have fun," Nicole said, as she and the other two girls walked over to the bumper cars, and each got into one. "And now, we just try to ram into each other!"

"How does this even work?" Stephanie asked, with her bumper car jerking forth haphazardly.

"You're getting there. Kinda'," Nicole said, uneasy. Nicole looked over to Veronica. "Veronica, you're going to ram me, right?"

Veronica sighed. "What's the point?"

"To get revenge on me!" Nicole exclaimed, as she crashed her car into Veronica's.

Veronica sighed. "I probably deserved that."

Nicole blinked. "It's not about deserving or not deserving it. It's just having fun!"

"That's fine," Veronica said. "I know I deserve to be crashed into, so might as well do it again."

"Yeah, this really isn't that much fun," Nicole said, then stepped out of her car. "Let's do something else. Maybe we can-"

Nicole was knocked down by Stephanie's car. "I think I've got a handle on how to work this thing!" Stephanie exclaimed, but then looked nervously down at Nicole, lying on the ground. "Did I really hit your car that hard?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (massaging her neck) Oh, yeah… probably should've remembered that Stephanie was still trying to drive that thing before I got out. Ow….

* * *

Xuxa gasped. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Xuxa grabbed Hank and pointed him toward a large stuffed Teddy Roosevelt. "I've always wanted my own Teddy! Win it for me!"

"And I'd like to see you in the teddy," Hank said.

Xuxa slapped Hank. "Not that teddy. Teddy Roosevelt! The most kickass President ever!"

"Who?" Hank asked. "I don't remember him in history class."

"American history," Xuxa said. "Our Canadian history teacher taught us American history instead because he said no one cared about Canada."

"What's so great about America, anyway?"

"It's just cool," Xuxa said. "I've always wanted to try an American hamburger with American French fries."

"That doesn't even make sense," Hank said. "And we have those foods here!"

"Yeah, but it's not authentic here," Xuxa said. "I want to enjoy those foods the way they were intended to be eaten." Hank rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I need you to win Teddy for me!"

"All you have to do is knock down the bottles," Margo exclaimed, popping up from behind the counter. "Three balls for a dollar!" Margo giggled. "Just kidding, it's free, but it doesn't sound as carnie-like to say that!" Margo hands the three balls to Hank. Hank tossed one of the balls, but hit Margo instead. "Ow ow ow ow!" Margo complained, covering her eye with her hand. "You do not win anything for that, big meanie!" Margo backed much farther from the bottles, then Hank tossed his second ball. Which hit Margo again.

"You're bad at this," Xuxa said, looking unimpressed.

Margo stepped forward, rubbing a bruise on her head. "OK, wait to throw your third ball for me to step out for a moment." Margo walked off.

After a few seconds, a nearby telephone rang. Hank went over to answer it.

* * *

Margo was standing next to a white and red-striped pole, while some penguins were waddling by, talking into a telephone which was connected to the pole. "All right, ready, aim, fire!" Margo hang up the phone, then wiped her forehead. She then looked in fear as a shadow appeared looming overhead. "Eep!" Margo cried out, but the ball landed just right beside her. Margo sighed in relief. "OK, that was just weird."

* * *

"That was just pitiful," Xuxa said. "Where did that last ball even go?"

"I don't know," Hank said.

Margo walked back to behind the game counter. "Hank, you have terrible aim. Xuxa, do you want to try to win it yourself?"

Hank spoke up. "I can-"

"Yes," Xuxa said. Margo handed Xuxa the three balls, and she immediately knocked down the bottles with her first toss.

"Congratulations!" Margo exclaimed, as she got down Teddy Roosevelt for Xuxa. "Enjoy your prize that your boyfriend didn't win for you!"

"Thanks!" Xuxa exclaimed.

"I could've done that," Hank whined.

"Sure, whatever," Xuxa said.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: She knows how awesome I am. She wants me bad.

Xuxa: (in a wedding dress, holding a picture frame with Hank in it) Do you, Hank, take this beautiful bride to be your lawfully wedded wife? (Xuxa imitates Hank's voice. Badly.) I do. (Xuxa giggles.)

* * *

"Hi," Mallory said, walking up to Zack, who was sitting by himself on a bench. Mallory took a seat next to him. "You don't look like you're having much fun."

"Not really," Zack said. "I'm just kind of bored. Katrina's with Rachel, and I don't really feel comfortable about Rachel. She just kind of rubs me the wrong way." A spitball lands on Zack. "And there's that."

Zack points over to Alistair, who is wearing a cardboard Rachel mask over his head. Alistair begins speaking in a falsetto. "Hi, I'm Rachel, and you're a stupid head!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Zack: Yeah. It's hard to like Rachel.

Alistair: Personally, I'd have rather gone for the Katrina mask, but as moronic as Zack is, I think even he would've known something was up if someone so saccharinely sweet did that. I figured with the Rachel mask, he wouldn't question it. (Alistair puts a cardboard Katrina mask over his face, and starts speaking with a falsetto.) Hi, I'm Katrina, and I did the Darth Vader thing, killing millions of innocent lives, but now I'm super nice and everyone loves me, tee hee! (Alistair takes off the mask, then fake gags.)

* * *

"What about you?" Mallory asked, holding her hands together, eagerly looking at Zack. "You're usually pretty quiet."

"Talking doesn't do me a lot of good," Zack said. "I just tend to get ignored a lot. I'm not really sure why."

"Getting noticed isn't always a good thing," Mallory pointed out.

"I know," Zack said. "It's hard sometimes, though. Even Katrina. I know she means well-"

"I'm less sure," Mallory said. "I honestly do not know what to make of her."

"She's a bit flighty," Zack said. "She likes me, but I come second to Rachel. And I don't really want to bother her about that, but it does bother me a little bit."

"You'll have to tell her," Mallory said. "That's not really something I should get involved with."

"I know, you're right," Zack said. "She's probably not even aware of it."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Mallory said. "But still, she seems to like you." Mallory covered her face and giggled. "I kind of like you too, though."

"I do, too," Zack said, putting his hand on Mallory's, which was lying on the bench between them.

"You like you too, huh?" Mallory asked, raising an eyebrow.

Zack looked nervous. "That's not what I-"

Mallory put her hand over Zack's mouth. "I know what you meant, silly." Mallory picked up Zack's hand with both of hers. "I like you. You're cute, and nice."

"Thank you," Zack said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Mallory:: Zack reminds me slightly of Hank, in that he tends to get overlooked. Except Hank seems to have it in his head that the world owes him for being supposedly "nice." (Mallory rolls her eyes.) Zack actually is nice, though.

Zack: Should I have tried to kiss Mallory? Or would she have thought I was going too fast? I hope I wasn't supposed to kiss her.

* * *

"Oh, George," Danielle said, sitting on a bench next to George, blushing and holding his hand.

"Oh, Danielle," George said, smiling himself.

Danielle waved her finger. "Oh Martha was the proper reply to that."

"But you're not Martha," George said.

"Aww, I love that you don't think of me as a talking dog," Danielle said, smiling bright.

"…I have no idea what you're talking about," George said.

Danielle pat George's hand. "That's why I love ya'!"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: George doesn't get a lot of references, does he?  
Opheliabot: No he does not. But most people do not. Just because you understand what you are talking about, does not mean anyone else will understand.  
Danielle: Um, you were supposed to answer with something silly like "bananas are spies for the government," or dancing on the ceiling, or something.  
Opheliabot: I was not programmed for those things.  
Danielle: Well, do something crazy that you were programmed to do.  
Opheliabot: As you wish. (Opheliabot snatches Danielle's shoes and eats them.) Yummy.  
Danielle: Hey!

Izzy: (shrugging) Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are that the robot wasn't just a one episode joke.

* * *

"Mwahahahaha!" Todd cackled, as he walked up to a ring toss game. "I shall win myself the rifle."

"Sure thing!" Margo exclaimed, popping up from behind the counter. "All you have to do is get a ring around one of those bottles." Margo handed Todd three differently-colored plastic rings.

"Ah, the red ring of death!" Todd exclaimed. "Oh, how evil you truly are, and as such, you are obviously the ring that will ensure my victory!" Todd tosses the ring, which bounces off one of the bottles' necks and onto the ground. "Curses!"

"You still have two more rings to slay those evil bottles!" Margo exclaimed cheerfully.

"And indeed I shall," Todd said, as he threw his blue ring toward the bottles, which missed completely. "Curses!"

"You still have one ring left!" Margo exclaimed. "You can do it!"

"A good way to butter up your soon-to-be ruler," Todd said. "I will make a note to allow you to live when I rule." Todd dropped the yellow plastic ring and took out a metallic, beeping ring, with a small antenna. "This radio-controlled ring will ensure my victory! Mwahahaha!"

"You know I can hear you," Margo said, raising an eyebrow.

Todd looked worried for a moment, but quickly put a grin on his face. "No no no, miss, you misunderstood. I was, uh, just saying how only someone evil would cheat with a radio-controlled ring. Yes, that works, yes."

Margo narrowed her eyes Todd, then smiled bright. "Okie! Good luckie!"

"I shall not require luck," Todd said, giving a devious wink to the camera, then tossed the ring, which missed.

"Aww, too bad," Margo said, then sniffled and wiped her eye. Todd then took out a remote, and pressed some buttons on it, which made the ring fly back up, and around the neck of the bottle. "Wow, that was really good! I've never seen anyone who could do that before!"

"What can I say?" Todd asked, looking confident. "It's a natural gift."

"And this is a natural gift for you!" Margo exclaimed, taking down the rifle, and handing it over to Todd.

"Mwahahahaha!" Todd laughed, then cocked the gun. "So what kind of bullets does this baby take?"

"Water!" Margo exclaimed. "It's a water gun, silly!"

"Oh," Todd said, disappointed. "Ah well. I can upset someone with this."

"Or bring joy to them!" Margo exclaimed.

Todd stared blankly at Margo. "Sure…."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Todd: (with a black eye) Of course, it helps to use something other than water. Mwahahahaha! (Todd holds up a bottle of maple syrup to the camera.)

Katrina: (Katrina is dripping in maple syrup, and screaming to the sky.)

* * *

"Todd is going to pay!" Rachel muttered, as she stormed past Zack and Mallory, still sitting on their bench, and staring nervously at Rachel.

Zack turned to Mallory and spoke up. "What was-"

"I don't think we want to know," Mallory said, then started playing with her hair. "So, favorite video game?"

"I don't know," Zack said. "I don't play a whole lot. Does Minesweeper count?"

"I… guess," Mallory said, then shrugged. "I love _Resident Evil. _Big fan of the classics."

"I thought classics were like _Super Mario Brothers."_

Mallory shrugged. "I despise that game, but yeah, I guess that is what most people who aren't familiar with video games think of first. And I suppose it is a classic, technically, but yeah, don't like it. Katrina used to be obsessed with it. Brings back bad memories."

"Eep! I'm sorry for bringing that up," Zack said.

"I don't hate it, or anything," Mallory said. "I just don't like it."

"Good enough," Zack said, smiling at Mallory.

"Why don't you kiss her already!" Danielle exclaimed, as she and George were walking past. Zack and Mallory both blushed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Zack: (nervously rubbing his arm) I'm just not really ready yet. I don't think Mallory is either. Or maybe I'm reading her wrong?

Mallory: Yeah, I don't really mind waiting. I'm not in any rush with Zack. I prefer patience, even!

Danielle: I am now forever going to wonder how she plays video games with only one arm. Seems like that'd be really hard.

* * *

"You all right?" Rachel asked, as Katrina came out of the bathroom, shivering.

"I hope I got it all out," Katrina said. "Glad I brought a back-up outfit."

"I think it looks nice," Rachel said. "You look hot in those jeans!"

"Thanks," Katrina said. "They're a little tight, really. Not really that comfortable. I can't wait for my normal outfit to finish washing." Katrina sighed. "Do you want to try the ferris wheel?

"That looked horrible," Rachel said. "You were tumbling all around in that thing!"

Katrina giggled. "That was the Rock-o-Plane." Katrina pinched her pointer finger and thumb together. "Teensy bit different from a regular ferris wheel. Ferris wheels aren't so bad. Kind of relaxing, you get to see the skyline, and all the little ants below who are actually people… I think you'll like it!"

"Oh… so just a normal ferris wheel, then," Rachel said. "I think I can handle that."

"Yay!" Katrina exclaimed, then glomped Rachel. Rachel sighed. Soon after, the two girls walked over to the ferris wheel, and took their seat.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Rachel: (wide-eyed, shaking) I don't think I want to go on another ferris wheel again. Ever.

* * *

"Ooh, look George! The ferris wheel!" Danielle exclaimed, then looked seductively at George, and rubbed under his chin with her finger. "That can be a pretty romantic ride."

George blushed. "Well, I can't look at it exactly, but I'm game. As long as it's not the scary fast ferris wheel that goes upside-down. Someone tricked me onto one of those before."

Danielle shook her head. "Nope. Just the normal, slow, not scary kind." Danielle led George to the next seat, and then sat down beside him.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: George, I'm sorry, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity! Just please, believe me, it was for the greater good!

* * *

"Hey, look, it's the ferris wheel!" Xuxa exclaimed, then squeezed Hank. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Xuxa looked seductively to Hank. "It'll be so romantic!" Xuxa giggled.

"Sure," Hank said, unsure.

"Eeeiii!" Xuxa squeed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Hank: I'm starting to wonder if having a girlfriend is worth it.

* * *

"Hey, how about we get on the ferris wheel?" Nicole asked to Veronica and Stephanie, as they approached it.

"Looks awful, but we need the win," Stephanie said. "I'll do it."

"Looks terrifying," Veronica said. "Count me out."

"Do not be such a baby," Stephanie said. "It is perfectly boring, but also perfectly safe."

"I'll stay on the ground," Veronica said.

"Suit yourself!" Nicole exclaimed, as she and Stephanie got on the next seat.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Nicole: (nervously circling her finger on the arm of the chair) Yeah, I'm not a big fan of ferris wheels anymore, either.

* * *

"Ooh, the ferris wheel!" Mallory exclaimed, walking alongside Zack. "It would be nice to go on at least one ride with you, and the ferris wheel is nice and relaxing and way up high in the sky!"

"OK," Zack said. "I've always found them a little scary, but sure! How bad can they be?"

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Zack: Err… pretty bad, I'd say.

* * *

"You're right," Rachel said, smiling at Katrina. "This is pretty nice."

"Told ya'!" Katrina exclaimed, smiling at Rachel. Rachel put her arm around Katrina, though Katrina almost immediately eep'd.

"Whoops… heh heh… sorry," Rachel said nervously.

"It's OK," Katrina said. "You just kind of caught me off guard."

Slightly below Katrina, Danielle was scaling the ferris wheel, carrying a jar of metal pellets.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: (with a black eye) Rachel, you should be thanking me! I'm help you whether you realize it or not!

* * *

Danielle was now slightly above Rachel and Katrina, and opened the jar of metal pellets, and dumped the contents down Katrina's shirt.

"Ow!" Katrina yiped, then scratched her back. "I think something's biting me."

Danielle then grinned maliciously as she pulled out a large magnet, aiming it directly over Katrina. Katrina slowly started being pulled up out of her seat. "What's happening?"

"I don't know!" Rachel shouted, worried, and tried to pull Katrina back into the seat, but without success, as Katrina was drawn to Danielle.

"Hello, Little Miss Sociopath," Danielle said, grinning triumphantly.

"Why can't you leave me alone?" Katrina shouted, being held up by the magnet, being held up by Danielle. "And how are you even strong enough to lift me?"

"Adrenaline rush," Danielle said. "And now, goodbye, Katrina."

"Please don't, please don't, please don't!" Katrina pleaded, but Danielle dropped the magnet anyway, along with Katrina, and Katrina fell to the ground, hitting all the metal bars along the way.

"Please tell me that wasn't what I think it was," George asked, hearing what was going on.

"Don't worry, she's not really human," Danielle said.

"I thought you were going to leave her alone," George said.

"I was, but then she was right in front of me, and I couldn't just pass up the opportunity!" Danielle said, beaming. "Besides, she totally deserved it."

"I really don't get that."

Danielle hmph'd. "I am an excellent judge of character I'll have you know."

"Rachel is going to kill you when we get off this ride, you know."

"Oh, yes, I'm expecting that," Danielle said. "I wish she'd understand that I'm trying to protect her, but she's just too stupid to grasp that."

"I don't think anyone but you grasps that," George said.

"Well I am the smartest contestant here," Danielle proclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Stephanie: Wow… Nicole can really kick butt when she's angry enough! I really like watching this side of her, especially doing it to Danielle, who needed to be taken down a peg.

Rachel: Well, Nicole kind of helped me pummel Danielle back there for what she did to Katrina. Seriously don't understand that girl's problem. But still, I hope Nicole doesn't think I like her just because she helped with that, 'cause I so do not like her! I don't swing that way. (Rachel smiles nervously for the camera.)

Nicole: Felt kind of weird, helping Rachel in getting back at Danielle like that. And I don't really enjoy hurting someone with physical violence like that, but just… **urgh! **(Nicole punches the wall.) **How dare she do that to Katrina! **I swear she will **pay! **Even if I have to get voted out for it, she will pay! I swear, that girl is absolutely vile!

* * *

The three teams were gathered before Izzy, dressed as a carnie, complete with cane, standing on a small stage, behind a podium. "I hope you all enjoyed your stay at Izzy Land, but I'm afraid it's closing time."

"But it's barely sunset!" Xuxa complained, then crossed her arms over her chest. "What a gyp! I hope you're offering refunds!"

"Sorry, but it's against policy," Izzy said.

"What are you even talking about?" Rachel asked to Xuxa.

"I dunno'," Xuxa said, playing with her fingers. "Just kind of got caught up in the moment."

"What moment?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Anyway, it's time to announce the winners!" Izzy exclaimed. "In second place, for having a moderate amount of fun, is Team Moon!"

"We had tons of fun!" Stephanie shouted. "We deserve first place!"

Izzy raised an eyebrow. "You looked like you had no idea what you were doing out there. Which is odd, since it seems like this challenge should've been easy." But that leaves Team Amazon and Team Himalayas. And the winner of the ten thousand dollars and tonight's funniest home video is-" Izzy pauses, while Trent plays a drum roll nearby.

"What are you even babbling about?" Rachel asked, with her hands on her hips.

"Oh, lighten up, you won," Izzy said. "Team Amazon has taken first. Katrina had a surprising amount of fun, despite her injuries-you're a trooper."

"Thank you," Katrina said softly, wearing several bandages and on crutches.

"Xuxa seemed to be hogging all the fun between herself and Hank, and Mallory and Zack seemed to get along nicely."

"You two?" Katrina asked, turning to Zack.

"Yeah," Zack said. "I'm sorry, but I just kind of relate to her a lot. You really are a good friend, though."

Katrina smiled. "It's OK. I'm glad you're happy."

Xuxa scratched her head.. "I don't even know who he is."

"I wish I didn't know who he was," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait," Danielle said, looking distraught, as well as being slightly bandaged and bruised herself. "Why did George and I lose?"

"You're serious," Izzy asked, then shook her head. "All you did the whole time was make out with George and try to permanently disfigure Katrina. The constant making out is boring, and the attempts at Katrina's life are, well, attempts at Katrina's life, so no. You lose."

"Uh, how many times did you try to get rid of Katrina, anyway?" George asked.

"Three, and Izzy wasn't exactly happy with you today, either," Danielle said. "I told you we should've gone on the roller coaster!"

"Didn't you blow part of it up?" George asked.

"Only the wooden one," Danielle said. "We still could've gone on the loopy one."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Bridgette: (irritated) Personally, I thought Team Himalayas should have won. I thought it was really sweet, watching George and Danielle making out. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't have enjoyed watching that.

Rachel: Yeah, I'm pretty sure Danielle had something to do with kidnapping Katrina. It just makes too much sense. She hates Katrina, so of course she'd do that! Though I'm not sure why she wanted to get rid of Mallory, but I don't care, either.

* * *

"We've got a special presentation for you tonight!" Leshawna announced, standing in front of the large screen, with Gwen standing next to her. "You're all gonna' wanna' see this!"

"This is going to be lame, isn't it?" Rachel complained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You may find this interesting, actually," Gwen said, smirking. "We found out who's in cahoots with Todd, with having Katrina and Mallory kidnapped."

"Really?" Rachel asked. "OK, I'm interested. I do need to know who to extract revenge upon."

"You want it, you got it!" Leshawna exclaimed. She and Gwen moved out of the way, and the screen started playing.

* * *

"This is your assignment. You are to act on this during the middle of the night after the next elimination ceremony."

"Why not do it tonight?" Todd asked. "It'd be fun!"

"I want time to prepare," the mystery person said. "You might also wish for some time to prepare, correct? After all, we do want to make this good!"

Todd shrugged. "Hey, for a thousand dollars, I can wait twenty-four hours. I'm flexible."

The mystery figure nodded. "Good."

"You know, you should do an evil laugh now," Todd said, grinning. "It's the perfect time! Let's do it together! Mwahaha-"

The mystery figure slapped a hand, still under the cloak, over Todd's mouth. "No." Todd looked a bit worried, and just nodded. The mystery figure then walked away, and the screen showed two video shots, side by side, looking like they could almost connect, with a small area missing between the two. The mystery figure walked through the area on the left side of the screen, and then nothing happened for about a minute. After that minute, though, someone recognizable was walking through the right side of the screen.

Rachel was walking past, wearing her green pajamas, smirking to herself. The video switched a few times to show her whole journey back to her bed, where she fell asleep quickly.

* * *

Rachel's jaw was wide open, as she seemed to be staring at the screen in disbelief. "That's not possible!"

"That you got caught?" Leshawna shouted, smirking. "You covered your tracks, but not enough!"

Rachel was turning red with rage as she dragged her hand down her own face. "No, you imbecile, **I didn't do it!**"

"That looked like you," Xuxa asked, confused. "Why did you do it?"

"Well, she doesn't like me," Mallory said. "Maybe she didn't like Katrina either. She was bottling up her anger, and she snapped."

"**I didn't do that!**" Rachel screamed. Katrina was curled up on the ground, with her head buried in her legs, crying softly. Rachel walked over to Katrina nervously. "Katrina?"

"Go away," Katrina said, sounding distraught.

"I really didn't do that," Rachel said. "I wouldn't do that to you."

Katrina looked up, with her makeup running. "Do I even know you? I mean, I know I've done things, but… but why?"

Rachel nervously bit her lip. "I know this looks bad, but I really did not do that. Someone is framing me. I would never do that to you." Rachel started crying, and wiped her eyes. "I love you."

"Looks like you've got competition, Nicole," Hank said, grinning. Nicole rolled her eyes.

"As a friend! I love you as a friend!" Rachel said, then laughed nervously. "I don't know who did this, but I swear, I will find out, and I will take that person down!"

"Just admit you did it," Mallory said. "You got caught."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (crying softly) I just... I just can't believe it. I thought we were friends.

Rachel: (sobbing) I swear, I'd never do that to you, Katrina! I swear I'm innocent!

George: Well, the video didn't really tell me anything, but from the reaction afterwards, I assume it was Rachel who had her own friend kidnapped?  
Danielle: (rubbing George's shoulder) No, it wasn't Rachel.

* * *

Danielle and George were sitting on the floor together inside the third place cabin. "I guess one of us is leaving."

"It'll be OK," George said, smiling. "I don't mind leaving."

Danielle raised an eyebrow. "No."

"No?" George asked, confused.

"I know what you're thinking, and no," Danielle said. "You're going to vote for yourself, aren't you?"

"Well, yes," George said. "I want you to stay in and beat everyone! And you need the money!"

"Not like that," Danielle said. "Ideally, if we could both stay in the game, you would, right?"

"Yes," George answered.

"And you would like to possibly win, right?"

"Yes," George said. "I'm getting a bit worried here."

"Then don't be stupid," Danielle said. "Voting yourself off if you want to stay is just plain dumb. So don't do it. I wouldn't do that, and I don't want you to, either! I want to stay in this game, so I'm voting for you!"

"You didn't make a real vote yourself last time," George said. "Katrina, really? You knew it wouldn't count."

"I also knew I was completely safe," Danielle said. "There was no benefit for me to have to choose between my boyfriend and my best friend. This time, there's an obvious benefit for me to vote for you."

George sighed. "Are you sure you don't want me to vote myself off?"

Danielle nodded.. "Positive." Danielle looked around the room for a few seconds. "So, want to make out a bit?"

"Sure," George said. Danielle then pounced on George, kissing him.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: I'm voting for George, since, well, I don't really have any other options. Well, unless I voted for myself, but I'm here to win! I need the money! Now I just really hope he votes for me, and doesn't do something stupid like voting for himself.

George: This is hard. I know Danielle really wants me to vote for her, and doesn't think it would be fair otherwise, and I know she's voting for me. So I can either give her a free ride this round, or do what she wants me to do, and feel bad about voting her out. (George sighs.)

* * *

Danielle and George were sitting in their recliners at the bonfire site that night, while Izzy was standing behind her podium, and Bridgette was pouting while holding up a plate with a single alphabet block on it. "I still think they should've won," Bridgette said.

"Making out isn't properly enjoying the amusement park experience," Izzy said. "You're just biased because you wanted to do that with Geoff." Bridgette blushed. "Anyway, you two have been here before, so I'm sure you know how it works. One of you will soon be leaving the game, never to return, unless you do." Izzy shrugged. "Anyway, the one of you who gets the alphabet block will be safe tonight, and probably be leaving in the next episode. The other of you will be leaving tonight."

"You don't think the other person can make a comeback?" Bridgette asked.

"Nope, not a chance," Izzy said, shrugging.

"You know we can hear you," Danielle said, frustrated tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair.

Izzy waved dismissively to Danielle. "Don't really care about you."

"Danielle's not so bad," Bridgette said nervously.

"Thank you," Danielle said sweetly.

"Not that nice either," Bridgette said.

"Thank you," Danielle said sarcastically.

"She just needs to be herself," Bridgette said.

"Being bossy and egotistical is her being herself," George said.

"Hey!" Danielle shouted, then playfully slapped George.

"Are you denying it?" George asked.

"That doesn't make it nice," Danielle said, pouting.

"Danielle and George, you are in the bottom two," Izzy solemnly stated.

"Um, duh," Danielle said, rolling her eyes. "That kind of went without saying."

"The final-and for that matter, only-alphabet block goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"It's a tie, actually," Izzy said.

Danielle let out a deep breath. "Thank you for not voting for yourself."

"I would've feared for my life if I'd done that," George said. "I don't think you can win the tiebreaker, though."

Danielle shrugged. "Probably not. I'll be OK, though." Danielle got out of her seat to give George a tight hug, then shared a kiss with him. "I'll miss you, but don't be in a hurry to get voted off just to see me!"

"I'll try not to," George said. "If I'm lucky, Team Amazon might possibly lose another round." Danielle stuck out her tongue at George as she sat back down in her seat.

"You know, it could be George leaving," Izzy said.

"Who's the tiebreaker, anyway?" Danielle asked.

"Katrina," Izzy said.

"Well, I definitely know I'm leaving now," Danielle said, nervously looking straight at Izzy. "I'm ready."

"Danielle, you're safe."

"What?" Danielle shouted, in shock.

"Buh-bye, George!" Izzy exclaimed, then pushed the button, which sent George hurtling through the sky, screaming.

Bridgette watched George being flung, looking concerned. "I thought we agreed not to do that to George."

Izzy shrugged. "I'm pretty sure Eva's there to drag him out of the lake."

"You don't know?" Danielle shouted. "He's going to have trouble out there!"

"Fine, I'll go check and make sure he's OK," Izzy said, then leapt out of the area.

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Katrina: (filing her nails) I'm sorry George. You're a lot nicer than Danielle, don't get me wrong, but that's just it. It's a lot easier to get revenge on Danielle if she is still here, and she has crossed this kitten one time too many. (Katrina scratches her nails on the arm of the chair.) And it's time for her to learn I have still have my claws.

* * *

Danielle was sitting in her chair, crying softly, looking lost. Bridgette nervously walked up to her, and put her hand on Danielle's shoulder. "He's going to be OK."

Danielle sniffled, then looked up to Bridgette. "I guess my staying is probably what he wanted." Danielle started stroking her chin. "And what I wanted too, for that matter."

"You can still pull off a victory," Bridgette said. "I'd actually like to see you get further."

"Does this mean that you've realized how wonderful I am?" Danielle asked, batting her eyelids.

"Uh, no," Bridgette said, raising an eyebrow. "You're not so bad, though. Sometimes. You just need to show everyone the real you."

"I hardly even know who the real me is anymore," Danielle said, looking down, holding her hands together. "Heck, I didn't even know myself well enough to realize I was afraid of anything." Danielle laughed slightly. "Oh God, I'm such a mess."

"Well, you're trying to better yourself," Bridgette said, smiling. "Maybe you could forgive Katrina. I mean, she did keep you here over George. I bet she'd appreciate that."

* * *

**Confession Vending Machine Room**

Danielle: Yeah, I'm never going to forgive Katrina. It's absolutely astounding how she has everyone wrapped around her little finger-even Mallory now! Well, except Alistair, but I think he just hates her because she has more money than he does. And people think I'm shallow. (Danielle rolls her eyes.) Rachel isn't even aware that she's just Katrina's little pawn. I feel sorry for her, really.

* * *

"Never going to happen," Danielle said. "I despise her for, what I'm pretty sure at least, are completely unselfish reasons. As opposed to Isis, who I hate because she's just mean to me for no reason. It's personal there."

Bridgette shook her head. "I don't get why you hate either of them."

"Isis thinks I had an easy life just because I'm white!" Danielle shouted. "Why would I like someone so racist?"

"Well, you did kind of pretend that you had a perfect life the whole time she was still here," Bridgette said nervously.

"She shouldn't have assumed," Danielle said. "I don't exactly enjoy advertising my life story to everyone."

"You do know that everyone's going to find out pretty much everything about anyone on this show," Bridgette said.

"I was hoping once I was a hundred-thousandaire-after taxes, naturally-that I wouldn't have to worry about that," Danielle said. "I really could use that money."

"Well, just don't lose for a while," Bridgette said. "Just try as hard as you can not to lose." Bridgette sighed. "I wish I could think of less cheesy advice to give you."

Danielle stood up and gently hugged Bridgette. "Thank you. You're really plain-looking, but you're also really nice."

"Thanks," Bridgette said, then blinked. "Plain-looking?"

* * *

**Votes**

Danielle: George  
George: Danielle  
Tiebreaker (Katrina): George

George: 2  
Danielle: 1

Team Amazon: Alistair, Katrina, Mallory, Rachel, Xuxa, Zack  
Team Himalayas: Danielle  
Team Moon: Elizabeth, Hank, Jennie, Nicole, Quincy, Stephanie, Todd, Veronica

Losers: Leanne, Walter, Candice, Frederique, Isis, Ulysses, Yancy, Percy, Bob, Ophelia, George

* * *

I liked George. He was a good presence, and had a good effect on Danielle. And they had a nice time together. Short, but nice. So time for him to leave, and leave Danielle on her own….

And it's been twelve episodes, so you know that that means is coming up next….


End file.
